Quarel wif hubby,
I once heard this phrase at a church wedding " Mr XX & Mrs XX, now that you are husband & wife, when you fight, you hold hands and fight. Rem its your marriage that you are fighting for not against." I keep reminding myself when I m angry with my hubby.
Sa Jiao can be trying to act pity, say please n praising your hubby. Smile to him and talk sense to him when he is in good mood. I know sometime its easier said than done.
In my first yr of marriage, I dunno how to sa jiao. I almost wanna divorce my hubby cos he outstationed so much and I m left alone at home most of the time and dun even need to mention not helping me to do any household chores. But I learnt to be independent becos of him. I began to talk to people and go to look for marriage courses to attend. Funny rite, married liao then wanna attend such courses. But indeed, I drag my hubby to attend the courses with me. & things changed better and better since then. We start to talk things out on our differences on point of view n we reach consensus that we are both angry becos we dun wanna see our marriage becoming rocky.
I understand its quite tough to go out to attend courses/talks like that now. So what I do now is that I will get some parenting magazine. If I read something in the magazine similar to wat I wanna convey, I will pass it to him to read either deliberately or subtly. It works for me most of the time!
Like wat Clover says, third party is helpful when they can help you to talk some sense into your hubby. My hubby has alotsa auntie colleagues so they will yak yak yak to him about parenthood. Sometime, he even know more than me.
Of course, to brainwash someone is not overnite. You gotta be patient. Sometime my hubby will revert to his old habits and I will be very firm to him n show a bit of face then he will automatic liao.
Not everyone is like Adeline who is so fortunate to have a hubby like hers. But it the household chores is really bothering you and your hubby, suggest you look for a helper lor. Cos you gotta think of long term i feel. There is no point in tiring yourself and at the same time bearing grudges with hubby. My hubby n I agree that we will try not quarrel or fight infront of our son no matter wat happens cos its not good for bb as they can feel it also lor.
REMEMBER : When you fight, you hold hands and fight. Rem its your marriage that you are fighting for not against.
Good Luck!
