(2008/02) Feb 2008 MTBs

eliaw - Heidi can switch on the power on/off button of most of the appliances (TV,stereo, DVD, fan...omg)..haha..but she switches them on/off repeated times..thinking its fun to hear/see/move than stop when u press off..faint..everytime i will say no, and shake head and give a slight tap on her palm,bring her away, but everytime she's near those appliances, sure she's up to the same tricks again..haha..alamak..how ah?

XY - H seems be also taller than her peers(my frens child) who are also older than her by at least half a yr, maybe she got some of her dad's genes of having long limbs (even though my hub is really not that tall, but his brothers are..1.8 above)

2nd one - any TTC next yr..i was thinking shifting earlier from rabbit year :p
 


eliaw
what's the finish sign? as in sign language?

re tantrums, yah think you're right, and this morning was a classic example - when his parents dropped him off i could hear him coming to our place all the way from the lift throwing tantrum already, woke both me and E up. then can hear ILs trying to distract him ("look at the bird!") and scold him or trying to bring him downstairs (since he was screaming "i want to go down", i think wants to be with his parents).
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i think it's also not easy for him lah, i think he might be jealous of E (since i spent almost 8 months at home with E, and hubby and i start work later than nephew's parents, so he sees us around a fair bit sometimes), and cos of his temperament, ILs always say "see, E is such a good boy, blah blah", which i don't agree with.

i feel like asking them to try ignoring him when he throws tantrums, but will probably have to wait for the right moment. after all, he's not my son and they're not my parents, so a bit touchy
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jeannie
haha so funny, but can imagine how troublesome it must be to have everyone all bundled up :S
 
apple - i am thinking of ordering 4 books, and its almost sgd70, and i tink it may be quite difficult to collect from u since i stay in jurong west, so i am thinking of ordering myself (or at least for the west side pp?)

any1 wans to join my purchase?
 
Kitsune/Bluegin - CONGRATS! Way to go.

Leila, go and make during holiday lah. hehe

Apple, I'm borrowing the book to read first. Don't think I will join your spree for now.

Eliaw, thanks for your suggestions. K knows how to say "no" and use her hands to push the spoon away if she doesn't want. So I don't think it's a matter of not being able to communicate.

I think removing them from "object of affection" as Lezy puts it, is one way which I do practise often. Your mtd of praising or giving a reaction to when they pick up positive habits is another. I will try that.

My friend told me about this naughty corner concept. She practised it since her kids were able to stand. If they are persistently naughty, as in keep doing the undesirable behaviour over and over, she will make them stand in a corner for the amt of time that co-relates with their age. E.g. if 1 years old, will be 1 minute, 2 yrs - 2 mins and so on. 1 minute to fidgety 1 yo can be very long for them and prevents them from participating in fun activities that they want to engage in. She used it so well that once she says naughty corner, they will quieten down and behave.
 
On tantrums- when my DD was a very spirited and emotional toddler at 18mth+ (it peaked big time at 2yr+ and subsided alot by the time she was 3yr+), the best way to deal with her mega tantrums was to empathise. I found that when I could show her that I understood how she feels and shows her that I am trying my best FOR her and on her side, she took much faster to get over whatever it was that caused the tantrum (of cos unless her tantrum is due to hunger/tiredness, then the solution is obvious).

Saying things like "You really want to hold that knife/(forbidden object) dont you? I wish I could give it to you too, and I promise to in future when you are a little bigger, ok? You must be feeling very angry when mummy has to take things away from you, right?" etc to validate the child's feling works with amazing results.

Now I do it with my bb too (my boy is less emotional and gets over things faster, I wonder if its a boy thing?), but slightly more effective ard 2yo and older when they can FULLY understand the meaning of what we are saying. And instead of getting angry at the child, hugging/comfortng while the chld is still upset also works very well.

I used to tell my DD when she was v upset over what I couldnt give her (even if its a toy at the store that I wont buy) "I cant give you xxx because xxx, but I am here for you, I will hug you and wait for you to feel better." It REALLY works wonders. After all, thats how we would like to be treated by our loved ones too, right?
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Danger- I feel that its more of my own responsibility than my bb's to keep him safe, so the best and most ffective way is to not leave him alone at places where he can play with wires/plugs/switches. So this problem can be easily eliminated by keeping him away or distacting. Everytime my bb goes nar, I'll just take him away before he can touch it, I've been doing that since he can crawl, and these days he is less persistent cause he KNOWS that he will be taken away immed lol!

pauline, hey congrats!!
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apple, I also learn from books, I used to read and read like mad every night after my DD sleeps, in desperation to find ways to help me to help her the following day lol! My hb used to tease me saying that its like I am upgrading myself in my sahm job, except that I upgrade liao also no pay rise. :p

Oh, and to add, of course KNOWING and doing are two different things. I also cant always do/say what I should when sometimes anger gets the best of me, so just gotta treat it as a leaning experience for myself, and resolve to try harder next time round. But our kids are very good lar, always give us lots of opportunities to try again and again haha!
 
Hi, Xiao yun

Yah...<<calm and compassionate children>> is one of best books I read for these few years. Just love it! It's kinda of book that I wish I can finish it on one go. Yah....more useful to myself for the moment....., I will buy it; the one I am reading is from Library.

Where/how you get to know this wonderful book?
 
Hi, Eliaw

Salute to you! So knowledgeable! ^_^

I had such funny habit---laugh at E when first seeing E "pu" food or seeing E throw tandrum.

First time E "pu" food ---I am very happy that she grow up to a stage that she made such choices----and we(hubby and I) then taught her to pat her tummy to indicate"I am full", taught her to pronounce "Bao3 Bao3".(she can pronouce it relatively well by now).

1st time I saw E showed fierce face and scolding me while I tried to tell my hubby her mistake, I laughed non-stop. Privately my hubby and I had a discussion that we'd very glad that she had "something".

I am somehow afraid of spoiling my gal by doing that since our actions seems different from others, and so get constant nagging/scolding from ILs.

Since I am just reading more parenting/education books, I hope that we make better decisions when time goes by.

Yah....are very glad &amp; enjoy reading your posts &amp; wisdom.
 
Hi Berry!
Always could count on you to chime in at the right moment to share your tips!

Your methods are so "model mom"! hehe. I'm not a particularly emphathetic person, dunno how i can show emphathy with her. So far, elimination of natural causes e.g. hunger, sleepiness, has been an easy thing for me to do. But I also understand that ourlos can get very frustrated because they can't articulate their wants and needs.
 
Bx
K not smart lah. She's just talkative, big time TALKATIVE, chee-char-por type!! She imitates words really fast. Dunno if she understands but she seems to be like a little parrot when it comes to speech. I always say "upsy-daisy" when I carry her up. She quickly learnt to say "upsy" and everything is "upsy". Go up is "upsy", go down also "upsy". Trying to teach "down-sie". yesterday, I said "open" and showed her how to open her sippy cup lid. Today, she said "upen". Now trying to teach "close".
 
yah, berry always has good advice!
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berry, sounds like what i've been reading in becoming the parent that you want to be
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any other books anyone recommends? there are just SOOOO many books out there, can surf until your eyes all crossed and still not sure which ones would be good, haha.
 
Eliaw, at my ILs place, they always encourage her 'an an' the remote controls, the fan etc so I'm not surprised that she wants to touch the light/power switches lor. What to do? They are so amused that she can switch off the tv/fan as and when she likes lor. Everytime I try to say something, they will say 'she is still young'. Looks like I got to look around for power switch covers lor. Anyone knows if it's available?
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XY, yes, yes, 'xin wei' is THE WORD. Always felt that I 'deprive' her by weaning her off though she was unwilling but I really strike so at least can 'jiao dai' liao. I promised her that I will give di di or mei mei's milk milk to her too next time. Hope my supply will be better this time though.
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Thanks, berrywife.

Gar, I called KK, and got early appt to see Dr Loh this Friday at TPS. Will see how long I need to wait before deciding whether I want to go TMC or not lor...
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switches- I do let my bb switch on/off the room lights when I carry him to (he cant reach on his own anyway). I also give him the remote controls to play with as long as he doesnt throw it if I am not using them at the moment. Somehow he knows the difference between these and the out-of-bounds sockets, which are those sitting at the base of walls and on the ground.

bkkgal, hahaha your bb is so cute!

Iso, you are right, that IS the book that originally gave me the ideas I posted earlier hehe.
 
Books - the 35% HSBC promo

I can coordinate for the East side (Tampines/Pasir Ris) or Town (Tanjong Pagar) side.

I'm gg to order some more books, so those interested to tompang, pls pm me yr order.
 
Thank you everyone. But I hv not consult a gynae yet. Scully false alarm.
This time I wanna deliver at Mt A. Anyone have a gynae to recommend. Channet's gynae don't take Mt. A.


Kitsune,
Channet knows how to switch off the fans initially. Now she can switch off and test if there is any wind coming out from the fan before she switchs it on again.
Sometimes I really scare that she will put her finger into the fan.

Isobellies,
I read a book "Children are from Heavens" by John Gray from NLB. It's great. Try it.

Anyone interested in attending a safety for children/infant course. This course also teaches CPR for infant too. Date: 17 Apr (Friday) full day. Have tea-break but lunch not included. Price $95 and 2nd ppl attending will be $85. If anyone interested, I can post the details tmr.

Touching:
Channet oso likes to explore. Now climbing table. She loves to go to a corner where most of her toys are. Initially she will pull all her toys out and create a mess. We as a parent will tell her not to do it. At the beginning she will test if you were serious about it by putting the toys back to the corner and pull it out again. When we told her "NO" , she will put the toys back for sure.
 
Hi mommies

i'm a mom from the Oct 08 thread. My SIL's personal fren's son has got Leukemia and needs B negative blood. Pls help to forward this message on.

Dear Friends,

My friend's little boy, Barney Allan Jeffs, is in need of B negative blood. The blood bank does not have any B negative blood in storage as it is fairly uncommon blood type in Asians. If you are B negative blood type please contact me so we can add your name to a donor list specifically for donation to Barney. The Blood Bank will follow up by contacting you to ask you to come in and donate. If you contact the blood bank directly, they have told us they will give the blood to the next B negative recipient in need.

Barney is 5 years old and he was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia unexpectedly on Tuesday. His only symptoms were that he had been tired and pale during the past week. Today Barney had a bone marrow aspiration test to type his Leukemia and received his first infusion of Platelets and Blood to increase his blood count to an acceptable level so that he can have a central IV line placed tomorrow. The line will allow him to start receiving chemotherapy. As there was no B negative blood available in Singapore this evening, he had to be given B positive blood tonight. This not only increases his chances of a reaction to the blood, but it means he has to have a special injection so that his body won't react to the rhesus positive blood. As you can imagine, each additional injection is torture to a five year old!

Barney's battle with Leukemia will be a long and hard one. The family has been living in Singapore several years and his mom Annie is Irish and his dad David is from New Zealand. They are alone here without family to help them through this, so any support we can give them by trying to get donors is very much appreciated. Please help to forward the request especially around the Caucasian communities in Singapore that are more likely to have people of B negative blood type. The hospital has explained that Barney will require many transfusions of blood and platelets over this initial first week of treatment and in the coming months and a list of at least ten donors will be needed.

Thank you to those who have already started circulating information out. Please do have people continue to contact me if they can donate. We have already had a great initial response of 5 Irish B negative donors tonight but more are needed. Please contact me by phone or email with your name, IC or passport number, contact number and date of birth so I can collate the listing to send to the blood bank.

Sincerely,

Erin
9833-4954
Friend of Annie, David and Barney Jeffs

If you are not B negative, but wish to donate to blood bank you may want to visit www.redcross.org.sg
 
hi mummies,
i am back!!! been so busy that haven't been able to find time to post for a few days!

wow, so much to update on dunno where to start =) in summary, it was a good trip for me. i learnt how to depend on my hubby completely - ok, this sounds weird, but you know how we modern women tend to be independent and have an opinion on everything? well on this trip, i did zero planning apart from getting the hotel. focused entirely on baby's needs - food, clothing, sleep, play etc. So i just followed hubby he says turn left i turn left, turn right i turn right. It was a fulfilling experience throughout.

i learnt that arielle is such an adaptable baby! she ate japanese food like we did (healthier versions though), reacted to the cold v well, slept her usual hours even though in a different bed and different environment etc etc!

i learnt that she is so so very friendly! she played with babies and adults alike. She would initiate play with swedish babies, japanese babies and even children of a much older age. and she would smile and wave at all the japanese waiters/waitresses in the restaurants, fellow commuters on the train etc

we had an eventful trip - flight was diverted at nagoya upon arrival into tokyo due to the fedex plane crash. so we spent 2+ hours sitting on the tarmac at nagoya aiport (not equipped to handle an A380!), followed by transferring to the airport terminal by coach, then collect luggage and take a train to Nagoya Shinkansen station, then take Shinkansen to Tokyo station transfer to Shinjuku station, then take cab to hotel. all in all 8 hours later than expected arrival. PHEW!!!!

we spent 5 days in tokyo, didn't do much touristy things, just walked around and absorbed the tokyo vibes!! we walked around ginza, harajuku, shibuya, shinjuku, ueno. went to the zoo there and 3 parks to view cherry blossoms

will try to organize my pics soon
 
Gar,

Great tat ur family njoyed the trip! *envy* *envy*

U didnt bring any bb food along 4 ur trip? So Arielle jz ate whatever food available 4 her?
 
cheryl,

yes!!! kinda of affected my mood 2day.

my mind nw keeps tinking abt the poor child, &amp; am hoping tat tis clip is fake one! but possible anot?

nw am struggling whether 2 get maid or not... argh!!!
 
Kitsune and Blueginger,
CONGRATS!!! Must be so happy and exciting =) Kitsune, hope you like Dr Loh. He's a very nice and calm guy (but not chatty). Good for my nerves.

Tubao, Genice, XY
Glad you liked the books I recommended as much as I do.

Tubao,
I was over-enthusiastic about buying parenting books. I easily have close to 20 books (and counting), so I don't mind sharing the titles for those that I think have made an impact on me. How do I find these books? I usually have a theme that I feel I want to learn more about (say imparting moral values), then I will google or search in Amazon and read through the reviews and also a few pages of the books before deciding which one I want to buy.

But unlike Berry, I don't have the energy to read up consistently =)

bkk,
K is soooooooo cute! not chi char lah, she wants to communicate with her mummy mah =P

berry,
i agree with what you say. but hor, i find it hard to practise this cos i'm not so expressive by nature. the words don't come naturally to me =)

esther,
thanks! you planning to travel before #2 arrives? food wise, i only cooked 3 meals when i was in tokyo. brought some pigeon vegetable soup stock to cook rice and the vegetables i bought from supermarket there. if she ate jap food, we would order stuff that she can eat. shabu shabu is great cos it's healthy and there is thinly shredded pork, toufu, cabbage etc that i mix into the jap rice for her (she can eat about half a bowl). i also fed her oyako don without the gravy - wash the egg, seaweed to get rid of excess gravy and mix into rice. for tempura, haha, i eat all the deep fried portions, peel open the fish or prawn and pick out the flesh in the middle (hopefully not too much oil left!!) and mix into rice. not exactly v healthy lah i must admit!
 
esther, cheryl,
i don't dare to see after your comments...later i get nightmares...

esther,
sorry i haven't been up to speed with all the posts. did you manage to get your father or was it FIL to supervise maid if you get one?
 
gar
welcome back!!! sounds like you had such a great time.. i heard that japan is v child friendly? (last time i went i didn't have one so i wasn't really paying attention to that, haha).

blueging
ooh thanks for the recommendation, sounds good! he's the guy who wrote men are from mars women are from venus right?
 
gar,

i wish 2 bring Cayenne holidays b4 #2 arrives. Cos I wan to spend as much time wif Cayenne as much as possible. But hor, no $$ 2 go so faraway as u and some mummies here. Hee... Probably to Malaysia oni...

my dad will be eye powering the maid. but i dun hv much confidence (maybe i worry 2 much). i always tink dad r not as "xi xin" as mothers. &amp; my dad gets tired easily. dont tink he has the energy 2 eye power the maid whole day...
 
iso,
thanks! haha....japan is *drum roll* toilet heaven!!!! absolutely 200% i was like OMG, this place is really cool!

most toilet cubicles have this toto collapsible high chair drilled into one corner. so mummies can put baby in there safely while doing our uh-hmm, biz. i tot that was sooooooo thoughtful and useful!!

the toilets are all so clean and baby changing tables spick and span (like brand new but i'm sure they are not!)

i can't imagine travelling to places less baby friendly in terms of changing facilities now =)

it's relatively pram friendly but some places don't really have ramps so do bring a light weight pram. a lot of walking to do, so a carrier is a must if you don't want to use a pram all the time.
 
Garfield: seems like u have a good trip!

wah their toilets so nice! Have high chair somemore. I always can't go toilet when I am out with Amanda alone here in SG unless i push her on the stroller into the cubicle for the disabled....
 
esther,
there are v nice places in malaysia too! not so tiring for you and cayenne also (you should have seen my eye bags after the flights haha)

re maid, in terms of following all your instructions caring for baby, ya, may not be 100%. but i think the main concern would be abuse? and with your dad around it will definitely prevent that even if your dad is not as "xi xin". can highlight to your dad what are the more important things that he should look out for or supervise? easier for him also.
 
gar
yes! the child seats in the toilet i've seen! i think it's such a good idea.. cos like apple said, if you're out alone it's impossible to go pee AT ALL unless you use the cubicle for the disabled.

i wish i was going jp too ;) maybe will try to ask hubby to go skiing there (for him, i spend time with bb) before bb turns 2, since air fares much cheaper before 2!
 
Esty, aiyoh, saw the clip. The images not very clear but looks like the maid kick the toddler and step on him/her somemore. Was telling hubby maybe we should get a maid with 2 kids but after reading this. Also find it very scary leh. :p Although they are not all bad, how to make sure that I can get a good maid is a BIG Question mark?

Gar, yup, looking forward to my appt with Dr Loh tomorrow. Hope he can scan for me and everything is fine.

Blueginger, so qiao, you are also changing gynae?
 
welcome back Gar - now i must get some tips from u liao..my turn to count down..
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re baby food: i will still lug my slow cooker there, i tink easier for us also if we want to go out, and by the time she's back, she have food liao.

Which places did u visit
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?

Is it still very cold when you come back?
 
gar,

yes, i worry most is the child abuse thing. As 4 hsework/cooking, tat is secondary.

kitsune,

if u r still gg 2 be SAHM when #2 arrives, probably wif a maid ard, still not as bad.

ya i agree how 2 get a gd maid is reali headache. Hb told me all i hear abt are the bad maids, maybe there'r still good maids ard but no 1 bothers 2 mention. so kinda of give us the impressions tat most maids r bad... i agree wif his saying but somehow or rather, still scare lor...

in fact i alreadi "decided" tat i not gg 2 be a SAHM, but hor, after seeing the clip, reali mk me tink tink whether i SHOULD be a SAHM anot. I hv 2 be responsible 4 my kids leh... Ah... dilemna man...
 
ester.. i just saw the clip! If she's my maid, I will do the same to her!!! But make sure she is not physicall hurt. THis IDIOT!!! Makes me so angry and so upset. The little ger is so sad.. how can they maid stamp on her with both legs!!
I think i will end up abusing the maid and go to jail!! I think the ger must have suffered ALOT MORE before the parents put up a camera. POOR ger must be emotionally/pyschologically unstable.. i think she will cry everytime her parents leave for work.. cause she has to suffer under the maid's care..

Scared.. phobia of getting maids.. i think certainly must have EYE POWER to watch them properly.
 
SOrry.. still fuming with ANGER!!!!

I HATE the part when she KICKED the ger and the ger flew!!! ANd she Pinched her!! I wish i can find who is thisSTUPID MAID. I want to SLAP her!!
 
apple,
ya lor. makes me wonder why even 5 star hotels in singapore don't have this kind of toilets!

pauline,
let me know how the appmt with dr loh goes

qingling,
sure will definitely share the tips. for cooking, just in case you have 2nd thoughts about bringing slow cooker, it takes about 10mins max to cook over the stove in the pot. haha, i'm old liao, can't even recall where i went!! i think something like that

Day 1 - Arrived at 5+pm no time to walk around. Went out for dinner, bought groceries from 24hr mart round the corner and that's it
Day 2 - Walk around Shinjuku (a lot of shopping malls), visit Shinjuku gardens
Day 3 - Accompanied hubby to Ginza and walk slowly all the way to Akhihabara
Day 4 - Went to Ueno park and Ueno zoo
Day 5 - Went to Meiji Jingu shrine, walk around harajuku and shibuya
Day 6 - Departed in the early AM

esther,
i think you show your dad the video clip (i still don't dare to watch), a picture tells a thousand words. then tell your dad, he must make sure that your maid (if you get one) treats your children well!!

and yes, there are good maids lah. i have friends who really cherish their maids who also love the children a lot.
 
oh and qingling, the tiger food flask is amazing!

on the day i cooked early AM before leaving the apartment at 10am. the food was still warm by the time it was her dinner!

any mummies who haven't bought one yet can consider
 
gar.. better dun watch.. its SCARY!!! I feel anger and saddness swarming when i watched the video.

WOW.. so bringing A there was the right decision!! Great Family Trip. Japan must be a super good place to go.. i also wnat to try the toilet with child seats.. haha. Post pics k.. ur hubby must have taken a lot of nice pics!!

Re: No 2
Leila.. sorry miss ur post.. hehe.. quite free lah.. but not interested.. :p
 
genice,

sad hor.. u finish watching the whole clip? I dare not and "bu ren xin" to watch all. i watch till tat crazy maid stepped on the poor child. my tears alreadi flow out. reali heartpain!

i tink these maids r "SMART". in front of pple, will act act. wat scares and mk me "xin han" is wat they do behind ur back...

is it true tat we cant install cameras in every room?

gar,

yes the tiger food flask is a very worth investment!
 
Yes.. i watched the whole clip.. also feel like crying....luckily nothing worst happen (using hot iron). But u shld see the maid kick the ger.. so EVIL.... the ger was just standing in front of her and she kicked and the ger flew!!!

I think the ger prob wet her pants or need to go toilet cause towards the end the ger took off her pants and the maid brought her into the room leaving the small baby unattended.. This confirm LOUSY MAID!!

Hmm.. cameras.. think i will install if i have maid and tell her that i have installed too so she will not dare to try anything funny!!
 
genice - i share your anger! idiot maid, i tiink i will do the same thing back to her, or at least slap her head off.
 
gar
actually i've been thinking about whether to get the food jar.. cos i thought that maybe soon they might be able to eat the same food as us. then it might not be so useful anymore. decisions decisions....
 
Gar, I forgot to ask you. Since you were stuck at nagoya airport tarmac for 2 hours. Were the checked in lugguage with you? Did you pack a set of spare clothes? clean diapers etc in your carry on bag? Think I put it on my packing list. I didn't use it at all but in your case it would have been useful since u kenna delay for 8 hrs. :p
 


iso,
i think it will still be useful, cos you may not want E to eat adult food all the time. so on the occasions when you cook and want to bring out, at least the food is still warm. check out the isetan private sales....$50 for the food flask plus 500ml water flask. i think it's pretty worth it!

pauline,
no, sitting in the aircraft leh, no luggage only carry on. i did pack a spare set of clothes and extra diapers. the lucky thing was i packed 2 extra feeds of milk powder!! else i think all hell will break lose if the little one is hungry and no milk...unless i latch in the aircraft which i didn't really feel like doing =)
 
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