Pixie,
You are doing so much for your kids!!! You don't have to feel bad to have other people (your mum or your maid) helped with your kids, as long as you are clear to yourself that you are still the main carer and that you only need their help cos you have too much at hands, when things get easier, you can slowly take back more responsibilities. Don't be too harsh to yourself.
It's NOT easy to put 2 kids to sleep at the same time, esp a baby when she hasn't got a sleeping routine fixed. To share with you how it works at our household. I learned from my mum and I agree that sleeping is the most important thing that shouldn't be compromised of. Since we can't bear to let them CIO, we do whatever we can to make to sleep more and better - carrying, patting, pacifier, latching to sleep, etc. I won't worry about how to cut this at this stage, when they grow up, they will surely change. Like for both our kids, we carried and walked around, and patted and sang to them every night in order to put them to sleep. We did that till they automatically weaned themselves off the carrying part, when they were about 1 year old. After that, also no need to pat already. Only need to be in the room with them, sing/talk/laugh a little (or sometimes can take up to an hour!), then they go to sleep.
When my girl was below 4 months old, she slept pretty well. Usually I put HR to bed, once he slept soundly, then I nurse my girl to sleep (if my hub or my mum hasn't done so yet) then only bring her into the room. After that, she became very difficult in the sleeping department. Still about the same thing, HR slept first cos once he slept, he hardly disrupted by his meimei despite her loud cry. Then me and my girl slept in the other room, cos she woke up >10 times a night! Then slowly better so we moved back in the same room. For the past 6 months, when my hub was on that super hectic job, I often have to put both of them to sleep at the same time, and still do the same till now. It's very difficult at the beginning. But now they are older, it got easier and easier. It saves me time to put 2 to bed at the same time
So my point is, one step at a time. Your girl is still very young, it's very difficult to predict how she would behave next month, or next week or even tomorrow. Wait till she grows a bit older or at least when you have successfuly fixed her sleeping routine. And another main point is, it's only going to be easier and easier! As of now, sometimes it only takes me 15 min to put both to bed (when they are tired or it's later than usual).
You can surely do it! Adjust your own expectations from time to time also. For example, if they haven't gone to bed by 9pm, it's okay, just try it again the next day. Or if you haven't done any activity with X for that day, it's okay, plan for one the next day. You are a very positive thinker, so just remember to think positive. Jia you, jia you!!!