yooo...bo liao a bit, just sharing some info
catching up a bit on reading now that my ms is gone...borrowed some books
i've got 1 book titled "divas and dictators - the secret to much behaved child"
you know in market there are so many books with so many techniques on bringing up our kids, so i thought i share this author's
he is a behavioural specialist for kids, especially for special kids...perhaps i think thats why his books are more about behaviours
he advocates the 6-for-1 technique
meaning for every 1 critism, heaps 6 praises. it must be this ratio. it takes lots of efforts but it can be done.
why? because kids thrive on praise. we often emphasise on their negativity but not their good behaviours. by praising your child, they want/yearn to become better behaved.
eg if your #1 snatches away #2's toys within 5 mins, #1 is only naughty for 30seconds, but he is well behaved for 4mins & 30secs. we tend to overlook that...the trick is you must catch your child on the times that your child is doing right. which means, praise when he/she is not doing anything wrong.
praise can be matter of factly eg "you shared your toys", "you put your shoes away". too much of "good job!" or "wonderful!", "excellent" makes your child not believing it in the long run. must praise the good action, not their characteristics...
the rest of the book touches on time out, rewards vs bribes (its a huge difference!), routines and rules. mostly common sense that we take for granted and needs reminding
so mummies, can try the 6for1 method. who knows with consistency, it works for a particular behaviour that you want to correct...