(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

[icy]

kitsune,
I suggest next time, try to use steam food as ur lunch. That what I do cos steam food dun need to attend to so much, normally I prepare my lunch before X sleeping time, then when I make her nap I switch on the fire and let the rice and food steam (can be stream egg, drumstick marinated with oxyster sauce or meat etc. ) Then when he sleeping, food almost ready and can be eaten.

I try to start cook before X sleep, cos sometimes when I just finish cooking, X wake up already!

 

[jess__thomas]

pixie
heehee.. no la.. just wana understand better mah. 77' one okie la.. my hubby 73 de lei, i am 85 de. i Jan knw him, Dec married to him liao. haha. and since then, have been living with in laws. i believe all of us have no regrets marry the man, but guess life is just full of ups and downs. tats y it is all about how we are going to go thru it together...

i am believe all probs can be solved!!

 

[steph77]

pixie,
i've rec'd yr email but can't open cos home pc no words software cos hubby just repaired/installed new version of windows...aiya, me pc dummy so may use my office laptop to view yr file later.
no prob yesterday, hubby was ok with the short wait.
I think will start using the milk bags aft coninement cos at the moment, i add 20ml to his FM for Zander to try. If he don't reject, will add more & try to drink all the excess ebm while #2 latch on

I am taking 3 months maternity leave & will be taking care of #2 myself...so can consider i am part-time SAHM?

Kam,
forgot to congrats u for HaoRe winning the contest!

 

[zhu_baby]

Steph,

Thanks.

No you are not part-time SAHM, but a temporary full-time SAHM.

 

[steph77]

Kam,
hehe...yah temp FT-SAHM...challenging job & treat it like probation period cos now company having 4th batch retrenchment exercise...anytime job will be gone...stress:{

 

[cherylkjh]

pixel
my ah lao also 77 de leh. hehe...

mei
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME U QUARREL WITH UR HB? WHAT IS IT ABOUT? HOW DID U TWO MADE UP?
er. when huh? i tink last mth?? actually i dun rem liao lah... but he wont admit it is his fault but sometime i tink i abit unreasonable lol... usually the next day ok liao 1.. or he will apologise the next day loh...
there was once i think vernon was abt 4-5 mth ba.. we quuarrel till almost wan to D liao

there was also once we quarrel i ask him, wat thing he dun like me abt being a mother. he say i cannot handle vernon. piangz.. m i not learning to handle vernon? i bring him out alone afew times leh

 

[wendyg]

cheryl
your husband thinks all mothers are born with instinct.. these kind of things we also need time to practise & learn fr mistakes etc. *sigh* His expectations not realistic.

kitsune
when your girl asleep, u're in the same room as her watching her sleep?

steph
your 4th month... taking it staggered? Hv your Bloom pix come back yet?

 

[lu_meihua]

bebeyan,
the voucher is from feed at raffles gourmet card. i hve to ask hb to check-in for u in order to use.

1. swissotel wkend rate $160+++
2. fairmont wkend special rate $190+++
3. raffles hotel special rate $640+++

or u can consider buying hotel stays from the sgbrides url. sometimes got discount.

otherwise will be the hotel my hb works. may be able to get a small discount.

 

[steph77]

wendyg,
yup 4th mth taking it staggered...maybe 1wk in Jun, another wk in Jul, another wk in Aug & so on. I still got 6days CCL & my 2008 annual leave to clear too!
Yes maryann called me yesterday that my bloom pix is ready for collection but i gotta wait till i finished my confinement. I tried the nude shots...very interesting but i looked bloated...hopefully after touch-up, looked better

I will post in my blog later

 

[lu_meihua]

steph,
wow. good leh. nude maternity shoots. look forward to see.

 

[wendyg]

mei
eh, cheeko peh

 

[lu_meihua]

wendy,
no lah. beautiful things must share.

 

[angelsky]

Only few days never come in, so many updates already.

pixiepixel, is it that serious? Usually we quarrel, everything will come out lo, but then really like u say, think back its nothing

. Like u say today is a happy day, think happy thoughts.

Steph, nude shots! SEXY mummy man.

nez, last year I was looking, seems like ah ma on wheels have, but the charges looks ex and also not feasible long term, i also wonder who will come each time? Since we may not need 1 regularly.

Me update mine, going for my scan tomo, hopefully baby will cooperate and let mummy see the gender. Daddy very anxious already.

1) Yunbb - #3boy (Rat yr - 12Dec08)
2) Steph - #2boy (8th Feb09)
3) Joyce - #2boy (11th Feb09)
4) superbee - #2? (EDD Jun09)
5) janbb - #2girl (EDD Jul09)
6) Angelsky - #2 ? (EDD 27 Jul09)
7) Kam - #2? (EDD Sep?)
8) Jacelyn - #2? (EDD Oct?)

JanBB, I think I opposite from you le, I not sure if I can fang xin go back to work next time with my 2 babies either at childcare or babysitter or whether my mum can cope with looking after 2 running active toddlers. Hmmmm, but I guess sometimes take 1 step at a time ba.

 

[bebe_yan]

mei

thanks, will go take a look.

 

[shorty_gal]

Janbb, kam, Pauline,

Thank you for the comforting words. Today i am feeling much better the new gastric pills.

 

[superbee]

congrats jacelyn.

angelsky, mine is girl. can help to update in the list? thanks..

hope ur baby will be cooperative and show u the gender tmr... u wanna a boy or girl?

 

[angelwind]

jess
agreed with u

cheryl
i think its very common for us to quarrel with our spouse due to the arrival of a child. or rather, any child. be it #1 or #2 blah blah....its just a learning curve we all have to adjust lor. i just dunno why my hb cannot accept the fact that we are 2 different ppl with different views. and the impt point is, we have to agree to disagree. but he just feel that why we are so different and why we always have difference of opinions. wah biang! surely will be different one mah! *faintz*

steph, nevermind. take ur time. need help about the bags then u sms me or email me lah
hey i wanna see the bloom shots too....

u look after #1 and #2 by youself? or what?

angelsky
really very serious
i almost ran away with xandall 2 mths ago. coz my hb just refuses to chip in with taking care of xandall and housework. everything i do. ask him vacuum and mop the house ONLY once every fortnight. he oso cannot take it. excuse me, i do THE REST leh!

 

[angelsky]

1) Yunbb - #3boy (Rat yr - 12Dec08)
2) Steph - #2boy (8th Feb09)
3) Joyce - #2boy (11th Feb09)
4) superbee - #2girl (EDD Jun09)
5) janbb - #2girl (EDD Jul09)
6) Angelsky - #2 ? (EDD 27 Jul09)
7) Kam - #2? (EDD Sep?)
8) Jacelyn - #2? (EDD Oct?)

Superbee, hmmm actually in 2 minds, if healthy thats the most important. If its a girl then both can play together, if its a boy then it feels kinda complete since I will have 1 boy and 1 girl. But everyone else around me, wants a boy, coz too many girls in the family. Strangers on the road will tell me, its a girl that I am expecting etc.

So will just have to wait till tomo since already wait so long.

Pixie, o dear, whats he busy with? Maybe he is tired at work?

 

[icy]

someone mentioned there is someone who is irrtitating and just add everyone on FB, who is he ah? Wanna know who, cos someone want to add me, looking at her profile seemed to be for business.

 

[zhu_baby]

Icy,

The one we were talking about is a him. Think Jay Goh, if I remember correctly. The her maybe Elaine Lau, cos she just started a online motherhood magazine

 

[angelwind]

angelsky
bz chilling out, play game. his "me" time.
so when will i have mine?
ok lah, today good day, wont get angry heehee
so anyway during this 1 mth, we promised to each other we will treat each other with respect and help out as much as we can.
so in the end, he takes care of xandall together with me (as promised), and do more housework (as promised). we drew up chores and split housework right down by 50-50. no room to quarrel who do more. we split our bills/payments right down by 50-50, no chance to quarrel who pays more or less. no resentment over chores and $$, less friction. works for us.

 

[lu_meihua]

<font color="ff0000">mummies, i've sent u the contacts list last updated 16-feb. fyi</font>

<table border=1><tr><td></TD><TD>Mummy Nick </TD></TR><TR><TD>1</TD><TD>angelsky </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>2</TD><TD>aqua </TD></TR><TR><TD>3</TD><TD>babe </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>4</TD><TD>babyling </TD></TR><TR><TD>5</TD><TD>babynikkiong </TD></TR><TR><TD>6</TD><TD>babyshannon </TD></TR><TR><TD>7</TD><TD>blackbatz </TD></TR><TR><TD>8</TD><TD>blessedbaby </TD></TR><TR><TD>9</TD><TD>blessed_serene </TD></TR><TR><TD>10</TD><TD>cherylkjh </TD></TR><TR><TD>11</TD><TD>elmo_78 </TD></TR><TR><TD>12</TD><TD>eNnmum </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>13</TD><TD>fishia </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>14</TD><TD>grumpus </TD></TR><TR><TD>15</TD><TD>hammies03 </TD></TR><TR><TD>16</TD><TD>icy </TD></TR><TR><TD>17</TD><TD>Jacelyn </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>18</TD><TD>janbb </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>19</TD><TD>jess_thomas </TD></TR><TR><TD>20</TD><TD>kam </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>21</TD><TD>kitsune_sg </TD></TR><TR><TD>22</TD><TD>mei </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>23</TD><TD>mylife </TD></TR><TR><TD>24</TD><TD>luca </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>25</TD><TD>luvv </TD></TR><TR><TD>26</TD><TD>lyn78 </TD></TR><TR><TD>27</TD><TD>mandygoh </TD></TR><TR><TD>28</TD><TD>mcfluffy </TD></TR><TR><TD>29</TD><TD>mylvera </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>30</TD><TD>pixelpixel </TD></TR><TR><TD>31</TD><TD>QQ </TD></TR><TR><TD>32</TD><TD>steph77 </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>33</TD><TD>superbee </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>34</TD><TD>vereneting </TD></TR><TR><TD>35</TD><TD>violetice </TD></TR><TR><TD>36</TD><TD>wendyg </TD></TR><TR><TD></TD><TD> </TD></TR><TR><TD>37</TD><TD>ylim</td></tr></table>

 

[bebe_yan]

pixel

i always ask hubby to do chores but end up, i'm doing all. Clean dog poo n pee, change bb diaper, household chores. he also always dun do. But i kind of used to it.. We been together for 8yrs +, married only 1yr coming to 2yr.
We quarrel quite often too, but always due to the same issue, the key person, MIL. So i guess once we move out everything should be fine. We havent move cos we cant afford resale flat and hdb flat, we still waiting.. waiting n waiting. =(

 

[icy]

Kam,
oic, cos I thought the surname is Toh. Then should be fine, don't want to add those people who keep bombard my inbox.

 

[angelwind]

bebe, every couple got their own set of problems hor?
i just cant get past the fact that we are both working so why should i do everything and anything? it all boils down to - how you have been brought up by your mom. and guys are wired differently. they just think that the house is "magically spick and span". actually their mom spoils them by doing all the housework. my parents could jolly well do the same when i was young but they instilled the culture that if you want this to be done, - do it yourself. even if you are being spoilt by your mom, it doesnt takes much logic for you to understand that this is your home/house, and everyone chips in to make things work. men!

i have colleagues who tell me they are used to it too. but i disagree. i just think that i am indulging my hb if this goes on. he wont learn anything at all. when i am dead/sick/away, then he will be stranded. he has to learn how to stand on his own feet. housechores is a basic part of your life.

*hugs* to you. ren lor hor. we must have the understanding and patience so that eventually they have the wisdom to know that they are wrong...hmmm a bit cheem

 

[kitsune_sg]

Wendy, ya lor, the woes of latching baby to sleep. She learnt to fall asleep on my bed not her cot. And when we try to transfer, she'll wake up and cry. My cot also lousy one lar, cos I can't lower the cot side, the two side catches are too far apart and I got no other hand to push the centre portion to get it down. 'Shi bai' lor.

Oh, forgot to answer the question of the day. The last time I quarrel with hubby was oops! our wedding anniversary day cos we ended up eating bak kut teh at my ILs place and it was a weekend, I feel that he took me for granted and did not bother to plan something nice. I still want to have romance in our marriage but my hubby is the practical sort. Eg. if we quarrel, he'll keep quiet, then try to appease me by drawing a cartoon or do some housechores. But I'm more interested to hear his apology. I'm the easy angry, easy appeased type, whereas he takes some time to digest the quarrel/issue.

 

[jess__thomas]

pixie
agree with u. it is all about how they are brought up by their parents. so since nw u r staying on ur own, set ur own culture. otherwise next time ur kids also will be spoilt. so maybe this is just a passing phase 4 u. i believe u and ur hubby definitely will be fine

and of cos, happier than b4 once get to a agreement

bebe
no choice, just have to tolerate with MIL lor. me also totally just ignore at times. cos sometimes say so much also no use. so long as we feel we have done our part as a DIL then can le

 

[bebe_yan]

pixel

during n 1yr after NS, he still very hardworking. He clean the room himself without me. My MIL is lazy so the hse is not dustfree, in fact a bit sticky!! Yucks!

Imagine been together for 8ys+, always quarrel abt MIL + SIL!! I'm really going to burst! Somemore he's those kind who side them even they are wrong, he will try cover or ask me to ignore them so i cannot say them. What i say is facts. They 2 are super trouble maker. If one day we divorce i'm sure is bcos of them.

Think of it, i know it's due to my strong jealousy of him caring so much for them but sideing them when they are wrong is not correct and unfair.

 

[angelwind]

jess
heehee thanks for the encouragement. after the 50-50 split, we have lesser to quarrel liao...hope things will continue as now...not much quarrels...

 

[kellie]

hi pixel,

y u dun deploy your maid back to help in houseworks....u paid for her one issit...u cannot use her meh?

 

[angelwind]

bebe
guys needs constant gentle pushing to do housework one...so this one must take lots of patience.
last time my hb oso dun want to bring down the laundry hung up the racks. so i didnt do laundry. then he ask me why i never wash his clothes. i told him if he doesnt bring down the clothes, i cant hang up new ones. *evil*
then when he dont throw the bagged rubbish, i leave rubbish on the kitchen top. he ask me why i so dirty and i replied coz the rubbish bin is full liao *evil* .............constant gentle reminders!!

my hb oso protects his mom a lot. super filial son. until i jealous sometimes. his mom "sai nai" a bit about how sore her ankles are, he so kancheong. but same day, i told him i sick. he just say "issit?" KNS lah

 

[bebe_yan]

Jess

actually i dun respect my MIL, in fact i dun greet her. I believe it's obvious i dun like her n her daughter. Their nonsenses cannot be ignore cos they are those drama queens which will make everyone involve in order to satisfy themself cos they wan attention, esp MIL.

Imagine a 40 over going to 50 woman creating nonsense drama like once a month or so. Can you take it? I can't, thats why i dun respect her.

She's definitely not a gd mum. I'm sure her son is very clear of that. She proved to him quite a few times.

 

[angelwind]

kellie...cannot leh. we used to, but really, not worth the effort. drive from sengkang to jurong east to pick her up, then when she finish housework, send her back. waste time and petrol...now part time cleaner lor

 

[kellie]

aiyo, y dun u keep her over the weekend and release her back when your son return to your MIL.

 

[bebe_yan]

pixel

aiyo, i really cannot stand guys so mummyboy ler. If i knew he's like that, i wouldn't have want to be with him! My mil also always a little bit will sai na, n really force me to go to her face to see e super tiny wound! Feel like slapping her sometimes.

 

[angelwind]

cannot, maid takes care of bedridden grandma
we share her. shes not mine totally, altho i love to

 

[jess__thomas]

pixie
tats gd news to hear tat things are improving

bebe
hmmm... okie. so long as ur hubby never say anything then okie lor. impt is ur relationship with ur hubby... and since he understands his mum's pattern, then fine...

 

[steph77]

pixie,
#2 confinement - i do myself, MIL on standby if need help cos she look after #1. I catered for confinement food this time. So, since i am taking 3 mths ML, i might as well look after #2 myself during wkdays (for 2nd &amp; 3rd mth) &amp; bring back #1 during wkends to bond with him too. I felt i've neglected him cos my energy all channel to #2 &amp; keeping up with breastfeeding. Zander can call papa &amp; didi but not mama leh...so sad

 

[bebe_yan]

ya, cos it's e fact that she's childish, he can't denied. But still, i wish to move out soon!! =)

 

[angelwind]

lol@bebe
the older a person is, the more childish they are. their brains de-generate. so cannot blame them, but empathize them.
i know i sound very holy now but i believe no matter how evil the person is, cannot hate them. the more empathy we show, the faster they will realize their folly. errr what goes around comes around? lun lor. ppl old liao, left final few years, fight with them oso no point
today is a good day, cannot angry! heehee

 

[zhu_baby]

Marriage is about compromising! There is no use to quarrel (took us very long time to realise this). Anything that you don't feel right, talk to your hubby (but must be at the time that you have cooled down, not when you are at the boiling point). Either party must stay cool and calm, if both parties are jumping on their feet at the same time, only make things worse, "add oil to the fire". Talk/discuss is the solution. Quarrel only brings more and more problems, never-ending problems.

Now if we ever quarrel, 80% is because of his work-stress, I try to be understanding, and usually peace within 1 or 2 hours. Another 20% is when I feel he hasn't spent enough time for the family or when I feel that he doesn't care enough of me (but now he makes all the effort to not to work during weekends, so problems solved).

Talk, talk, talk, sit down and talk. Don't quarrel. Drill down to the root of the problem, discuss how to solve the problem, if can't be solved, what's the work around. There will be a solution, maybe not now, but later, surely one day will be solved.

 

[angelwind]

wah steph *claps* kudos to you to look after #2 urself. i sure cannot take it if all by myself

 

[kellie]

wow steph, you also bath your number 2 yourself....u in confinemnt leh...

 

[kellie]

marriage is abt compromising....hahaha....

i think is more like a gamble!!!

 

[bebe_yan]

pixel, today ur birthday ar? why good day? haa.

she may be older than me, but my mum older than her but my mum wont like tat lo.

 

[jess__thomas]

pixie
rite! they are at the final chapters of their lives. so sooner or later its our own lives also. thus for nw, just tolerate lor....

jia he wan shi xin. nt easy to do. but just try our best

 

[wendyg]

kam
sometimes the problem is... the man/ woman dowan to talk, just *clam* up. Or only 1 party sees that it's a problem.

kellie
erm, i also bathed my kids by myself, from the time they were born until now.

final chapter... huh, 40+ going to 50 is only middle aged... more likely they going to menopause &amp; become hormonal, that's why want attention &amp; behave like a child. Nowadays life expectancy is... 80yrs? That's a lifetime more to go...
my grandma &amp; my grandma-in-law are final chapter.. whole head white hair, using walking frame, hard of hearing, no more teeth etc

 

[angelwind]

bebe
not today good mood lah. i keep reading "dont sweat the small stuff in life", and "dont sweat the small stuff in love", so now very kan kai liao.......the books are helpful enuff...
i bookworm. never without books

wendy, agree
i tell hb we have prob, he say no prob *faintz*

jess
agreed. karma. they will get what they deserve. the more ppl we hate/dislike, the lesser space our heart has for lurveeeeeeeeeeee. think about that!

 

[jess__thomas]

wendy
how old is ur grandma and grandma in law? my MIL is 65 and FIL is 75....
my parents are only early 50s....

 

[steph77]

pixie,
this time got experience liow so not much of a problem. Looking after newborn is easier than toddler except for their feeding, now #2 feed 2 to 3 hourly at nite while #1 only wake up once at 5 or 6am for feed while daytime got to think of what food variety to prepare loh...so newborn easier la just milk &amp; Zzz.

kellie,
r u new to Jan08 thread? welcome!
MIL help to bath #2 during confinement only. 2nd &amp; 3rd mth onwards i gotta do it myself.