(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs

[steph77]

Morning mummies

Been on leave for the past 3days.
my aunty in law passed away last Friday so for the past 5days, me & hb have to manage the boys on our own.
And Z went to cc on Monday. He was feeling excited & looking forward to school. He was ok in the cc for the 1st hour but when i am totally out of sight (hiding at a corner but still inside the cc) of him, he cried big time! On 2nd day, he caught a cold...running nose just like most toddlers in his class. He refused to take his lunch in the cc with the other kids

And also throw sudden temper tantrum, 1st time came forward using his hands to beat me also

dunno what happened to my boy. Maybe this cc thingy is putting some pressure on him indirectly? Today he cried big time again when my MIL left him in the cc. I called the teacher n they said he stop crying already (dunno how true lah). sigh...so stress...heartpain to see him likdat

 

[krystle]

Luca,
I still don't have the VAT refund yet. Checked the status last week and still under processing. Very "efficient" right? But I think I may get it in this mth's bill by end of the mth. Will let you know again.

Kam, Pixie.
Actually I also don't really bother much about the curriculum. As long as my girl enjoys the class and learns something, then it is fine bah? Anyway, I think PCF standard should be very close and matching, preparing our kids for P1... So not much of worries... Ya loh, I am also more concerned in getting a place, rather than the curriculum. I definitely cannot afford those pte ones coz too exp.

Steph,
Hugz to you. Starting on a new env is not easy lah coz Z has been taken care by family all these while. Have to be more hard-hearted and do it the hard way. Maybe he does not understand why you put him in a new env and w/o family around some more. Slowly he will enjoy the class as he makes new friends.

 

[angelwind]

steph
yalor, must LUN liao coz after a while, Z will blend in well one...
ur aunty in law is the one your mum rushed to take care one? i remember something like that...some illness isnt it?

 

[zhu_baby]

steph,
Like HR's teacher told me, the older is the kid, it takes longer for him/her to settle in to the cc/kindy. Not to worry too much, sooner or later, he would stop the crying. Even till now, HR still cries in some mornings.


krsytle,
That day when I was upset with HR's cc, I kinda look around for all the options available. There is a Pat's schoolhouse on my way to work, so I called and asked. For full day N1, you know how much it costs? $1280!!! And they are always full house! Parents are really willing to spend when comes to kid's education. Very curious of what special/unique things they have that can make them so branded.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Kam, pixie, yup I only wanted her to play n socialize when she started playgroup at 18 months. But after 1.5 years of playing, I have higher expectations when she turns 3 years old next Jan. At least there must be progression, cannot play for 1.5 years n still continue to play without learning new things. I guess it is different for those who r just putting their kids to school. If I were putting raeanne to school for the first time next yr, I will expect her to just make friends n socialize too.

 

[ylim]

Kam,
Some parents really go for curriculum like music lessons, phonics, etc which may be provided at some branded cc.

For me, the environment and teachers are more important. I ever mentioned I didn't put B at the PCF a few blocks away cos the kids were screaming and shouting all the time. I felt the teachers were not controlling the kids and they were not given interesting things to do so they're all behaving that way. My neighbour's grandson is attending K1 there and he's always screaming and shouting at home...I believe he picked up that habit from school cos kids that age, it's all "monkey see monkey do". I just want the teachers to teach the kids about sharing and how to get along with their classmates. I mean, proper values and character building starts now, isn't it?

 

[angelwind]

kitsune
dont forget, children around this age (even at 3yo) needs to PLAY in order to learn.
you may not feel that she is learning anything coz she is playing all the time, but whenever a child picks up a toy or starts to play, they learn something new...
it all depends on how enriching the "play" is being introduced in school. what what is play? learning ABCs also is play.....or not?

just my 2cents. it actually depends on individual parents views lah, hor? paiseh

 

[steph77]

krystle, pixie,
Thanks for your encouragement.
i am not sure how many of you here actually accompany your child to attend half day CC. I was in the class (CC) for the past 3days, sitting at a corner to watch Z while he mingle with the rest of the toddlers & participate in the class activity like singing, art craft & water play (outdoor). Nowadays the toddlers are quite rough as in very fierce. I witnessed with my own eyes that a 26mths old boy forcefully pushed a 21mths gal's head towards an opened concept cabinet & her forehead hit the cabinet shelve causing an open wound, about 2cm in length! Can u imagine? i was shocked n the boy was being punished by sitting at a naughty corner, that's all. Another case was pulling of hair...hiyo these kids are MAD leh! Can u imagine the scenario...and another 19mths old boy crying non-stop for 4 hrs calling out for his mummy but none of the teachers can pacify him! So poor thingy leh...i see liao, i so heartpain for the little fellow. The toddlers also mistaken me as one of their teacher, they bring story books over to me & point point n ask me to read leh...so cute.
Hmm...really hope Z can slowly overcome this transition period & enjoy school very soon.

pixie,
yup my aunty in law is my MIL's youngest sister, the one who is in her final stage of cancer & MIL take care of her in JB.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Pixie yup I agree that they learn through play but I want to learn more than the basics eg the abc cos she has already been exposed to that for 1.5 years. She is absorbing knowledge like a sponge now so I want her to be more exposed to more things eg music, nature, body, reasons behind holidays, animals etc.

A few weeks ago at bedtime, she was throwing small tantrum. Tell her good night, she dun want, sleep tight, also dun want, sweet dreams also dun want. To tease her, I told her 'konbanwa' n 'oyasumi nasai'. Last night, when I told her good night, she said dun want good night again. Ask her what do u want then? She said I want 'konbanwa'. I am surprised cos I only said it that night so long ago but she remembered. To me it shows she has the potential to learn more n remember with the right environment n patient teachers.

 

[chaye]

Hi steph

Putting Z into cc is permanent ? He will slowly get use to it. Why not leave him there for just half a day and slowly when he get use to it then extend to full day?

Pre-nursery
I just realised that my TT is considered 1 yr older than the rest of the children here ! end Dec 2007. He has been in this Playgroup for half a year now.. He has been enjoying it everyday. Come back will sing songs, say some chinese words. In sch he can name all his classmates

So for him next year will be Nursery consider as 4yr old. Still no sch available for him....

 

[zhu_baby]

kitsune/pixie/yvonne,
Guess when comes to child's education, yes, it mainly depends on how much a parent wants/expects out of the education system/school. I am with Yvonne, which I think that the school environment and teachers are more important than what the curriculum is. At this age, I expect HR to learn from communicating/playing/observing others (thus good environment and teachers are important). Yes, instilling the right values and characters building are the things I stress more now than how many worksheets he does at school.

 

[chaye]

steph
the cc sounds so scary. nowadays the kids are like that ? u really making me think twice to send TT to cc leh

Hope Z will get over it soon.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Yup, kam. Really depends on what u r comfortable with. My cousin's kid went through the whole pap system n entered pri one at poi Ching (sap pri opp my house). He needs tuition in all his subjects. What went wrong? is he stupid? No, I dun think so cos he always seem very clever when i talk to him. Can name all the different power rangers n tell me about the different weapons for ben10. But his parents were weekend parents n quite Bo chap about his education. At my aunty's house, he parks himself in front of tv n watches VCR cartoons most of the time. But he did go to school so did the pap system fail him? Or is singapore's school just too competitive ? I dun have the perfect answer. All I know is we r not going to migrate n we dun have a hometown to move back to if the kids keep failing their exams. Nor are we rich to send them overseas for education. So I rather she does her worksheets now than I have to hire a private tutor for all her subjects in primary one. To me that is even more stressful for the kid n not to mention exp for the parents to bear the burden of long term tuition.

 

[tongtong8]

pixie, yea S is talking in full sentence now, like 爸爸做工妈妈没有做工 this 10 words in a sentence. soon will be X's turn liao.

Steph, i'm in the same situation like u because shaun just started his PG too. BIG SIGHHHHHHHHH. We were at the PG already but you guess what, I got to leave and went back home because he was crying so pitifully and couldnt stop his crying, very 可怜。He kept saying 去aunty(nanny)家 eventhough he doesnt want to go nanny's place everyday. My neighbour said maybe he is scared ( cuz i were forced to leave him on the first day at PG without even have the chance to say bye bye). She asked me to give him 惊风散.

Aih... I dunno what to do!! tomorrow am not going to bring him, will ask nanny to bring.

 

[zhu_baby]

kitsune,
What went wrong? Based on what you described - THE PARENTS!!! Even if they sent him to the most branded school/cc than the pcp, even if they send him for more tuitions, he still won't excel if they parents bochap and don't involve in educating him. Home education is by far the most important factor!

 

[zhu_baby]

steph,
Wah, the children at that school very scary leh. I never saw that happened at HR's cc.

 

[tongtong8]

Steph, Shaun also caught fever after attending the PG because he cried when i left till the nanny picked him up leh, think he cried for at least half an hour. My mum said he sucked in all the cold air ( becuase it's aircond room). Z caught cold too becaue the CC is air-conditioned right.

 

[tongtong8]

kam, maybe scary things happen in CC everyday but we dont know!! it just so happened that steph was in CC for half day so she saw it leh.

 

[ylim]

Delete - Double post

 

[ylim]

Kitsune,
Actually the major contributing factor is family. There are no bad kids but it's their family background and the way they are brought up. It sounds very bias but when I compare the behaviour of the kids from my downstairs PCF and some other kindergarten...I see a vast difference even though they are kids of the same age. The kids from PCF are always running, screaming, shouting and abusing the neighbourhood cats. I've seen it with my own eyes and I was pretty angry when I witnessed a boy trying to step on a cat's tail...he even glared and sticked his tongue out at me...he was at most in K1? I'm not saying that PCF is bad but I can see that majority of those kids are brought up by their grandparents or maids and it's very common to see the grandparents shouting and screaming vulgarities at their grandkids after school. That's the type of environment which I don't want to place B into. I don't look down on them but their way of upbringing is simply different from mine.

 

[ylim]

tongtong,
The beginning is always tough cos S will feel insecure in the new environment. Keep reassuring him that you will pick him up after school and tell him the teachers and friends are there for him, etc etc. Slowly it will improve.

 

[ylim]

Why do I keep getting double post??

 

[steph77]

chaye,
is not a permanent decision to put Z into cc. We just wanna prep (expose) him to school life (socialize/interact with the classmates/teachers) before he goes into kindergarten. At the same time, free some spare time for my ILs so that they can catch a breather & just take care of my #2 while Z goes cc. I've enrol for full day cc but will only let him attend half day first. When he can fully accept/adjust & finally able to enjoy school life then will gradually convert to full day care.
I am not sure about other cc & the kids cos kids came from different cultures/background/upbringing, characters & personality so i guess the choice of the 'right CC' depends on luck? or maybe a branded CC makes a difference?

Kam,
tongtong is right. Many incident (be it scary or not scary) happened in CC everyday but the teachers covered it very well (not reported/recorded) or rather they will bring the matter to low profile if it's not a serious issue & no cause to highlight/alarm the parents etc. It just so happened that I was in the CC for half day for the 1st 3 days. I just hope Z wont kenna such unfortunate incident (bully) like being injured/pull hair by other toddlers loh. You know what...after my hb saw such ugly incident, he said to Z "boy, next time someone bully u, u gotta fight back!" & luckily Z wasn't paying attention to what my hb said but i dunno what to rebuke after my hb said that statement to Z cos i think he just wanna teach our boy how to protect (self-defence) himself bah.

tongtong,
Z was alright (pink of health) on day 1. After day 2, he caught a cold (no fever), just terrible running nose. Probably due to the air-con room but cc did open the windows+fan too cos handful toddlers were having running nose & cough. I suspected he caught a cold due to the outdoor activity (waterplay) & also during shower. The aunty (nanny) who shower for the toddlers didn't do a proper neat job as in she didn't towel dry the tod's hair well esp those with long hair (usually gals), their hair still dripping with water leh! hiyo...no eyes see ah. I have to personally towel dry Z's fringe even though he's got short hair. You have to see it with your own eyes otherwise u wont know how the cc bath your child exactly right? Sigh...i think sooner or later, his cold will escalate into fever/cough?

 

[steph77]

tongtong,
Are u allow to accompany S for his PG during the first few days? If not, i suggest u bring him there yourself instead of the nanny. S is feeling insecure now in a new enviroment so is best u can drop him in PG yrself, bid goodbye & assure him u'll pick him up after school rather than the nanny do all these. Let's jiayou together!

 

[zhu_baby]

steph,
I know many incidents happened everyday. And yes, I don't want to know if there is no injury involved. What I was trying to say was HR never got a cut or a bruise or a baluku from his classmates/cc. I spent an hour or so at the cc when I was on leave, and I spend at least 10min or so everyday when I fetch him. I never saw the kids fighting/bullying/being rough with others.

 

[tongtong8]

yvonne, yea he feels very insecure and he even told me that he 怕怕。i really felt very sorry to see him like that. you know every morning first thing he told me after he wakes up is 不要去豆豆班。
i think he really has a culture shock ba.

steph, is the CC air-conditioned? then after their shower they should dry the hair wor. After you see the condition in the CC, will u still continue him there?

 

[tongtong8]

steph, I was not allowed to go into the PG because he was crying outside the door liao, so the teacher asked me to go back and shut the door. haiya, i just felt so terrible and stood outside the door listening to his cry. the room is fully shut, no windows kind, so cant even peep.

I am the one bringing him there everyday, 4th day liao. today not managed to go in, so we went back. . that's why others suggested me to let nanny brings instead of me. I already tell him that i will pick him up after pg but he crys even louder. HOW>>?!!

Also, nanny got to pick him because if i pick him, he sure dont want to go nanny's place liao, and he will still be with nanny till end of july ma. i will only look after him fully starting aug.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Kam I dun dare to blame the parents cos they r not highly educated n need to work long hours at work. They probably think that as long as they put the kid to school, he started nursery at 4 years old, he will be ok. I think since the boy was getting minimal stimulation/learning at home, he would have been better off at a more intensive program with more emphasis on academics. But I belong to the minority since so far, most of u think curriculum is not important in preschool.

All I know is that I myself am not a brilliant student. I definitely dun qualify for Cambridge, be it bachelor deg or post grad. So I am not confident that my kids r so smart that they will sail through their education no matter which pre school I put them. So I rather do the homework n help them set a good foundation than for them to just play than get a cultural shock at primary one n need to coach like mad just to catch up. When I did relief teaching for one day, I was already shocked that pri one kids need to know their 6x timetable to answer their math homework n their spelling is one full sentence with more than 10 words. The cc teacher told me that's why they start teaching timetables n give ting1 xie3 at k1 n k2. This is a fact of Singapore education system. So I am just being realistic. I will only know if I am right in 2015 when raeanne enters primary one.

 

[tongtong8]

pauline, sg's edu sys is so stressful..

 

[janbb]

Hi mummies,

Long time didn't login. I almost forget my password, hahaha. Faint >.<

Wow great to see that so many of your kids are in PG or CC now It really make a BIG different once they started school.

Chaye ~ J also like to tell me his classmates' names &amp; even point (like introducing) them to me when i fetch him. So funny He got 1 little girl friend staying at my nx blk, haha. We always take the same bus to school &amp; they will hold hands in the busstop!!! Actually i'm the one who ask them to hold hands cos my boy can't stand still, keep running here &amp; there so i got to use a pretty gal to hold him tight &amp; true enuff, he dun dare to move at all &amp; hold her hand with cheeky smile, hehe

Steph &amp; TongTong
Dun worri!! Is like that for most kids to react this way. Some tips for u:
1) Muz be very consistent &amp; firm with your decision to put them in sch.
2) Brainwash them the nite before that he will be going sch tmr.
3) Give him assurance that you/caregiver will come back to fetch them.
4) Buy their fav toy (juz cheap cheap one)or food for them. When they are out of the sch, they saw the stuff &amp; will be delighted. Tell them tmr be good to go to sch &amp; you will buy somemore.

After few days/weeks, you dun even need to buy anything to trick them into the class. They are more or less settled down &amp; understand what is going on. They will bid you goodbye happily &amp; rush into the class instead.Be patient. Trust them, they can do it

Oh ya, if the aircon is too cold, get them a jacket. I always put on a jacket for my boy though the rest of his classmates didn't. Jia You!!

 

[kitsune_sg]

Tongtong, exactly, i was talking to a taxi driver who has relatives in Australia. He said the pri school kids there get 2 hrs for recess, 1 hr to eat n 1 hr to play. If we are in Australia, maybe raeanne won't even need to attend preschool. Can play until 7 years old then start learning her alphabet like Me. Cos i also from old pap system but I went to pri one not knowing how to speak English. Cried after I came home cos dun even know how to ask the teacher for permission to go toilet. Dun even know where is the toilet cos it is not attached to the classroom. Haha.

 

[steph77]

Kam,
U've picked a 'right CC' for HR. At least u know the place he's in is safe &amp; he's in good hands

Lucky u!
My only worry is Z suay suay kenna bully (led to injury etc) but can't prevent any MAD classmates from being/playing rough ya...u know what i mean.
ok lah, just gotta tell myself i gotta let go...endless worry de...think too much later i go crazy

tongtong,
yes the CC is fully air-conditioned but in the morning, they will turn on the fan &amp; open up the windows for better ventilation. After lunch then will close the windows &amp; draw the blinds for their nap time. The aunty will towel dry their hair but not through enough, still wet leh. I did feedback to the teacher but not sure they will improve anot cos no parents feedback/complain mah. Yes, hb &amp; me both decided to continue him there as we both agree that 1)we can't afford a more ex/branded cc and 2)we have to let Z build up his immunity on his own, be it thru the hard way. He has gotta go thru this phase, part &amp; parcel of growing up...if other kids can do it, i am sure he can survive too. We approach the 'let's see how method'. Today is just the 4th day of cc, we can't ascertain if the cc is unsuitable for him at all, we have to monitor &amp; see how after a month.

You mean today is the 4th day S goes PG. i thought he started earlier last week? Hmm...in this case let the nanny bring him to PG &amp; see how. Did u step into/visit the PG classroom with S before? He like the enviroment? Or perhaps get a teacher to be familiar with him so that he dun feel insecure, at least he will be attached to the same teacher in his PG rather than different teacher always?

 

[kitsune_sg]

Steph sigh I always Kenna complained by the pg teacher that raeanne beat or kick someone. Use soft method (reason n explain) why cannot do that. But she will apologize n do it again next time. Use hard approach (beat her back, ignore her, refuse to talk to her, even lock her in my balcony for time out) also like that. Hubby thinks we should buy a cane Liao. but I still think use hand to beat better to estimate the force, if use cane, can beat until the skin breaks if too forceful.

 

[janbb]

Pauline,

I second your words!!
Cos I myself also not intelligent &amp; do not have a good foundation to start with. I rem how i struggle during pri sch as i grew up in a mandarin speaking family, i didn't even understand what "foreign langauge ~ english" the teacher is teaching in kiddy &amp; P1!!

I dun want my kid to follow my footsteps. Starting early is always good!! Sound very KS. But this is how realistic s'pore educational system is. I also dun want to spend time &amp; investing more $$$ to send them to tuition when they are older. Feel that a strong foundation will make their path/life easier

Of cos, we can't force our kids to "WRITE" or "READ" at such young age. Thus, simple brain training or memory training or learn thru' play method will help them to develop now.

Btw, did you ask your gal why did she do that in sch?? Did she usually beat anyone at home? If not, there maybe some reasons for her action. Ask the teacher to observe &amp; give u a reason/answer instead.

 

[steph77]

janbb,
tks for your tips!

kitsune,
no offence ah when i said, "MAD classmates" cos i was referring to unreasonable kids who caused serious injury like open wound etc.
unreasonable behaviour like beat, kick, bite, push/snatch toys, pull pple's hair or spit saliva are no no but teachers can't do much if the child refuse to listen so the parents must really instil proper discipline loh. I've already used a cane on Z if soft &amp; hard approach fails to work on him. Perhaps it's also due to this kind of discipline which makes him into a soft-spoken/easy-going person.

 

[zhu_baby]

steph,
This cc is kinda ok. The main attraction to me is still that the teachers' turnover rate is extremely low.


kitsune/JanBB,
Haha! There are definitely 2 camps when come to this topic. Sure, do what you think is right.

Obviously, we have very different philosophy of life. To be excel in the school is the last thing I want to stress on my kids. I believe all this things come naturally. If he enjoys school, more likely he will excel. If he doesn't enjoy, less chance. My parents had never forced me into anything. I didn't speak ANY English except reading from the textbooks, until I was at Uni. I didn't get good scores to enter a local uni, just enough point to get into the lowest requirement course. I didn't even want to go to uni, it's only my dad who begged me, so I agreed, and thought I did it for him, if not for myself. Only when I really enjoyed the subject so much at uni, then i started to excel. Before that, to me, studying is just fulfilling my duty as a student and a daughter. I never enjoyed the school, though I love going to school cos it's full of fun, and can play with my friends.

Blaming on the education system? Maybe yes, maybe no. If my kids told me one day, he is not interested in studying and don't want to go to uni, fine with me. Academic achievement is not important to me. As long as they learn the right value, to be the good person for the society, it's okay that they don't have a degree. They will have a tough life earning a living? Huh, that's what they have to go figure out and go through that themselves. Life is not supposed to be smooth sailing, I believe. Bad mum, I am

 

[kitsune_sg]

Yvonne, I agree with u about family n peer influence. Good influence is important.

Janbb, yup me too, my parents only speak dialect n my pap teachers teach in mandarin. English was like a foreign language to me.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Janbb/steph, she always does that when she is frustrated. After saying no to something for 2 or 3 times but the person still keep asking her to shh shh or eat or go n shower etc, she will start beating or kicking. Told the maid to use distraction n pian her but she still have not learned the trick. Just now I just beat raeanne on her mouth cos she bite the maid. Sigh.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Kam yup there is definitely 2 schools of thought. I always read your blog on how guai n how clever hao re is so u dun need to worry. Can be more relaxed.

 

[steph77]

Kam,
tks, u reminded me of an imp point! The teachers' turn over rate but since the cc is very new (opened in Mar2010) so all teachers are new to the cc too
hey, u are not a bad mum lah. I do agree with you somehow. However academic achievement is equally important to me BUT it all depends on our kids. We can't force them if they are not interested in studying too. I believe having a balance IQ &amp; EQ will play an imp part in our kids' life too.

 

[tongtong8]

janbb, thanks for your advice!! i will try to be patient, hopefully he can do it.

Pauline, wah you still remember what happened during your first day at P1. I wonder how would i survive under sg's edu system when s is going to formal school!! Actually i dont speak English until i'm about 22 years old, when i was in aus uni. I even told my hubby that i want shaun to study in Msia , less stressful

steph, yea today 4th day because he started on 1st, last thursday. This monday is holiday, and he din go yesterday because i decided to not let him go since i dunno whether his fever will be back. So today is the 4th day lor! but what a bad start, never get to go in at the end. hai.

steph, yea first day i went in and he was ok wor, playing with the rest. but i was there for 30 mins only and teacher signalled us to go out liao.

Kam, wah why did you say you are bad mum. I also hold the same principle as u wor, but i dont think i'm bad . me n hubby always said what's important is how to be a righteous person. i even think of withdrawing S from PG if he continues to hate PG because i tot of sending him there for fun (but not to study) but he seems to hate it.

 

[janbb]

delete

 

[zhu_baby]

kitsune,
It's only I didn't write much about how naughty he is!


steph, tongtong,
Bad as in I don't lay out the road nicely for them. They have to go figure/struggle themselves. Of course I am a good mum, I am the greatest mum (cos they only have 1 mum, so I am the greatest) to my kids

 

[janbb]

pauline,

I read that we shld not punish the kids by canning/beating when dealing with kids that tend to beat/hit plp. In the first place, why did they hit/beat?? If the child is most often being punished by cane/beat, they will learn this action &amp; treat other plp the same way.

Sometimes, when my boy is frustrated or when the water get into his eyes when showering his hair, he attempt to "beat" me too. I really get angry, told him off &amp; shld not "beat" me becos of such small matter. Juz put his head up &amp; water will not get into his eyes.

I rem i read that the solution is to tell them a "FIRM NO" if they beat us. Explain that we did not beat them &amp; they shld not beat us too. It will hurt us &amp; we will be very painful. Dun let them beat the maid as a habit. Tell the maid to say "NO" &amp; explain that is not right to do that. If the maid still laugh or smile, they will like to do this even more.

I'm also getting headaches with this sticky problem.

Cos my boy &amp; gal always fighting on me!! faint!! If one is sitting on my lap, the other also quickly run or crawl over. #1 knows how to love her like want to bring her home daily or sharing his "not so fav" toy to her, haha. But when #2 not contented &amp; tried to touch his fav toys, he will get angry &amp; tell her "NO" &amp; try to "beat" her too!! Aiyo, dunno when they can play together in peace.

Kam,
Agree. One group is the s'pore KS camp &amp; the other more like "ang mo" relax camp Anyway, diff parent has diff appraoch of bring up children. There is no right or wrong.

HR is so sensible &amp; clever and this has added another good reason for you not to stress him

Maybe SAHM has higher expectation &amp; demand more results from our kids?? Am I right to say that??

 

[tongtong8]

kam, parents not laying out road nicely for the kids is not equal to bad la. in fact, It's good training ground for them to learn ma.

 

[prata_queen]

Interesting topic today!

My gal joined her current childcare @ 18 months old. She took a total of 1 month to settle down before she stopped crying.

In the first week, she cried so much that she lost her voice. In the 2nd week, she developed fever and we kept her home for 1 week to rest &amp; recover. So when she returned to school in the 3rd week, it was as though she had to re-familiarise herself with the new place and new teachers. She still cried in the 3rd week and 4th week, but the duration and intensity wasn’t as bad as Week 1. All in all, changing a childcare centre is a stressful experience for the kid and parents.

Once you’ve made your choice (of centre) after considering all factors, you have to believe you made the right choice &amp; stick with your decision to place the todds there. Give them at least 1 month. Some may adapt in 3 weeks. Now my gal loves her school, friends and teachers. Having said that, if she is absent from school for too long due to illness, she will definitely cry in the mornings again when we say goodbye to her.

I feel the first 2 or 3 days where parents are allowed to sit in the classroom to observe is very important. Almost immediately, I know if I’ve made the right / wrong choice, just by observation of the classroom situation &amp; how the teachers go about handling the children. Yes, the teachers can ‘fake’ when parents are observing but I think they can’t fake for 3 whole days &amp; their true colors will surface at some point.

 

[icy]

JanBB
Think you are right abt SAHM have higher expectation cos family members also have higher expectation of us since we are with our kids all the time. We "suppose" to be able to control them and teach them better.

I also more like Kitsune and JanBB, hope my kids will be able to survive in this competitive world. The classes I let him attend now, is more for socialising and learning as well, because he had been too sticky with me at home. No confidence and shy. Moreover now, he seemed to be develop some fear to enclosed space. SIGH.. Cant deny that I have some 私心 for music class cos that what I always wanted to learn piano when I am young so I hope my kid can have the chance, since he had some interest in music.. i try to jump start him from there.

Behavior and character of course most impt. I hope that their studies as long as can go poly/uni, so that they can survive on their own. Because it doesnt only affect themselves but might even affect on their sliblings.

Actually had been very troubled by my bro lately, he is in NS, never even pass PSLE, managed to go ITE, know some bad friends, mostly spolit and never taught properly by my parent.

He is now always owing people money, having offense of driving w/o license, almost charged by NS. And I am always there to "clean his backside". Anyway he might be jailed for being caught 4X for DRIVING w/O license! My parent cant control him at all.My parents are very dependent on me for his discipline. End up, I am kind of "drag down" by him.. clearing debts for him.. He is just the cause of my insonmia.

Anyway always feel my parent are all responsible for all these. The education system also make things worse for him.. sigh long story.

 

[kitsune_sg]

Tongtong, cos I was whacked by my dad with 2 canes tied together when I said I did not want to go to school the next day. How to forget? So traumatic. Talk about corporal punishment. I definitely went through it.

Janbb, I agree. I started with firm no n explaining to her. The maid also said no, no, cannot beat aunty but the kid knows who she can bully n who dare not beat her back. My ex colleague said her gal also beat n pull the maid's hair. Got the pressure to beat her cos my parents n bro always nag that I am too lenient with her. Sigh.

 

[zhu_baby]

Icy,
you poor thing lor. he really causing you so much trouble till you get insomia, aiyo. you are a good sista. aiyo, it's really 家家有本难念的经 hor :-(

 

[icy]

Kam,
I have a 10 yrs age gap with my bro. My hb also 17 yrs age gap with his sister. Really can't understand how the younger ones thinks now.. Their way of communication with teachers and friends seemed so different now.It is like more independent with their own ideas.