(2008/01) Jan 2008 MTBs
- Thread starter lu_meihua
- Start date
Pixie / krsytle,
Aiyoh, I have my own set of problems also. HR keeps saying to us everyday in the morning - "I don't want to go to school". When we reach his cc, sometimes cries loud, sometimes cries a bit, sometimes doesn't cry. But his teachers said even if he cries loudly, would stop immediately after we left
So we just have to be hard hearted and leave him there. But down deep in my heart, very sad leh. And he told my hubby, he wants to go to work with mummy. Made me think if I want to switch him to the cc at my workplace or not.....
Aiyoh, I have my own set of problems also. HR keeps saying to us everyday in the morning - "I don't want to go to school". When we reach his cc, sometimes cries loud, sometimes cries a bit, sometimes doesn't cry. But his teachers said even if he cries loudly, would stop immediately after we left
So we just have to be hard hearted and leave him there. But down deep in my heart, very sad leh. And he told my hubby, he wants to go to work with mummy. Made me think if I want to switch him to the cc at my workplace or not.....kam,
ever asked HR y he doesnt wana go school? my #1 oso dun wana go appletree previously. when i asked him, he will look away n avoid the topic, till 1 fine day, he told me tat the teacher there beat him b4. thereafter the teacher oso told me that she tried to separate #1 with a gal whom he sticked to. told hb so many times that #1 doesnt like that place... but no action .. till he sent #1 to school himself. that's when we can "talk" abt his parents' issue cos they refused to change school for #1.
ever asked HR y he doesnt wana go school? my #1 oso dun wana go appletree previously. when i asked him, he will look away n avoid the topic, till 1 fine day, he told me tat the teacher there beat him b4. thereafter the teacher oso told me that she tried to separate #1 with a gal whom he sticked to. told hb so many times that #1 doesnt like that place... but no action .. till he sent #1 to school himself. that's when we can "talk" abt his parents' issue cos they refused to change school for #1.
tongtong8
Active Member
Kam, HR just wanted to make you xin ruan wor. Thought he is so used to going sch liao ? My tactic is to ask S everyday after he wakes up: where is mummy going to? Where is daddy going to? He will say “ zuo4 gong1!” then I will ask him where is S going to? He will say “ aunty”. He even waves bye bye and gives me a kiss. I think to prepare him that he has got to go nanny’s house and we got to go work, can avoid them from sticking to us
mylvera,
Yes, asked him. He didn't give us an answer. Keep chanting don't want to go to school. I checked with his teachers. She said he is very active and happy, and sing and dance a lot, and follow all the activities happily. And when I fetch him in the evening, he doesn't want to go home! I guess he just wants to spend time with us at home. That's the price to pay as a FTWM.
Yes, asked him. He didn't give us an answer. Keep chanting don't want to go to school. I checked with his teachers. She said he is very active and happy, and sing and dance a lot, and follow all the activities happily. And when I fetch him in the evening, he doesn't want to go home! I guess he just wants to spend time with us at home. That's the price to pay as a FTWM.
angelwind
Active Member
krystle
yest the gathering hor, i actually very gek sim...
my boy just recovered from fever so understandably very cranky. morning i say wear diapers; he say no. i say wear shorts; he say no. i say wear top; he say no. i say wear shoe; he say no. a lil bit he'll cry liao...
everything oso no and cry n shout. u ask elmo, we took cab, my boy was like a monster in the cab!
and he wasnt like that at all. i just tell myself coz he recovering from fever. i hope this monster attitude will go off. usually he is quite well behaved.
haiz
all the books i've been reading, all the advise that i gotten from the book, i tell myself must apply and use it effectively. but when i see my boy like that i very fedup too.
i just keep quiet and let him scream n cry finish. but i make sure that im at his side and tell him that i understand he is frustrated & angry, but not everything is as what he wants (aka i dont give in). then followed by hug, and maybe a soothing rub to rub away the stress n tension. kids this age forgets stuff very fast so next min he dont care about the tantrum liao.
then the next tantrum comes again *faint*
yest the gathering hor, i actually very gek sim...
my boy just recovered from fever so understandably very cranky. morning i say wear diapers; he say no. i say wear shorts; he say no. i say wear top; he say no. i say wear shoe; he say no. a lil bit he'll cry liao...
everything oso no and cry n shout. u ask elmo, we took cab, my boy was like a monster in the cab!
and he wasnt like that at all. i just tell myself coz he recovering from fever. i hope this monster attitude will go off. usually he is quite well behaved.
haiz
all the books i've been reading, all the advise that i gotten from the book, i tell myself must apply and use it effectively. but when i see my boy like that i very fedup too.
i just keep quiet and let him scream n cry finish. but i make sure that im at his side and tell him that i understand he is frustrated & angry, but not everything is as what he wants (aka i dont give in). then followed by hug, and maybe a soothing rub to rub away the stress n tension. kids this age forgets stuff very fast so next min he dont care about the tantrum liao.
then the next tantrum comes again *faint*
mylvera,
Yes, asked him. He didn't give us an answer. Keep chanting don't want to go to school. I checked with his teachers. She said he is very active and happy, and sing and dance a lot, and follow all the activities happily. And when I fetch him in the evening, he doesn't want to go home! I guess he just wants to spend time with us at home. That's the price to pay as a FTWM.
Yes, asked him. He didn't give us an answer. Keep chanting don't want to go to school. I checked with his teachers. She said he is very active and happy, and sing and dance a lot, and follow all the activities happily. And when I fetch him in the evening, he doesn't want to go home! I guess he just wants to spend time with us at home. That's the price to pay as a FTWM.
pixie,
HR sometimes will be on the "no" or "don't want" mood. Be patient and keep your cool
tongtong,
He knows we go to work, Meimei goes to aunty and he goes to school. He knows very well. He even walked to his classmate who was first day at school and crying for mummies and said this "mummy's working, ok, don't cry". But he himself cried in that very morning He started this again since we came back from our long CNY holiday, before the holiday, he has no problem. The teachers teased us cannot go for long holiday anymore.
Aqua,
She could be more cranky because she is not well. Give her more time to adapt.
HR sometimes will be on the "no" or "don't want" mood. Be patient and keep your cool
tongtong,
He knows we go to work, Meimei goes to aunty and he goes to school. He knows very well. He even walked to his classmate who was first day at school and crying for mummies and said this "mummy's working, ok, don't cry". But he himself cried in that very morning
He started this again since we came back from our long CNY holiday, before the holiday, he has no problem. The teachers teased us cannot go for long holiday anymore. Aqua,
She could be more cranky because she is not well. Give her more time to adapt.
Aqua,
Just like that Pixie says, gek sim leh. My girl was fine along and in fact she used to be very happy to see us fetching her home.. Only starting from this week. I wonder why.. The only change I know of in MIL's house is the new maid? Don't tell me she so fast attached to her liao? She did asked where is the maid when she cries... Xiao liao... I lost to a maid...
Kam,
Ya, this shows how much HR wants to spend time with you. At least after you left, he still can adjust back and stopped crying. I think he is really a very understanding boy. He knows mummy has gone for work and accepts that he needs to attend school. Rather than he keeps on crying and crying, right?
Pixie,
At least you know X is still a bit cranky coz recovering from illness... So ok lah.
Just like that Pixie says, gek sim leh. My girl was fine along and in fact she used to be very happy to see us fetching her home.. Only starting from this week. I wonder why.. The only change I know of in MIL's house is the new maid? Don't tell me she so fast attached to her liao? She did asked where is the maid when she cries... Xiao liao... I lost to a maid...
Kam,
Ya, this shows how much HR wants to spend time with you. At least after you left, he still can adjust back and stopped crying. I think he is really a very understanding boy. He knows mummy has gone for work and accepts that he needs to attend school. Rather than he keeps on crying and crying, right?
Pixie,
At least you know X is still a bit cranky coz recovering from illness... So ok lah.
krystle,
Ya lah, he never cried more than a few minutes at school. And because the teachers know him so well already, they somehow know how to pacify him.
tongtong,
yes, very cute and very interesting to talk to a toddler. He loves me talking to him, and he loves talking to us. I talk to him a lot, everything and anything. Sometimes have to think of something spontaneously to talk. He can say his full name, our names, meimei names, still not enough for him, so now he knows all the jiujiu, yiyi, and grandparents' name. You heard him singing coconut that day when he saw a coconut tree. Now he can differiate a coconut and a palm tree. Aiyoh, can go on and on about him.......
Ya lah, he never cried more than a few minutes at school. And because the teachers know him so well already, they somehow know how to pacify him.
tongtong,
yes, very cute and very interesting to talk to a toddler. He loves me talking to him, and he loves talking to us. I talk to him a lot, everything and anything. Sometimes have to think of something spontaneously to talk. He can say his full name, our names, meimei names, still not enough for him, so now he knows all the jiujiu, yiyi, and grandparents' name. You heard him singing coconut that day when he saw a coconut tree. Now he can differiate a coconut and a palm tree. Aiyoh, can go on and on about him.......
angelwind
Active Member
krystle
yah, hope its coz of the recovering of fever leh
tongtong
yah, after the no no tantrums at home & in the cab, he literally ignored me throughout the whole sol playground outing wor...
aqua
thanks for the encouragement. i was so drained yesterday.
but it got me thinking. coz i have a quite "well behaved" child so i am not having struggles everyday. i think i am not trained or being pushed totally. if my #2 is the total opp - hyper, screaming, fussy, cranky (or any other challenged traits we can think of), i dont think i can handle coz im not trained "well enough" for now.
makes sense?
yah, hope its coz of the recovering of fever leh
tongtong
yah, after the no no tantrums at home & in the cab, he literally ignored me throughout the whole sol playground outing wor...
aqua
thanks for the encouragement. i was so drained yesterday.
but it got me thinking. coz i have a quite "well behaved" child so i am not having struggles everyday. i think i am not trained or being pushed totally. if my #2 is the total opp - hyper, screaming, fussy, cranky (or any other challenged traits we can think of), i dont think i can handle coz im not trained "well enough" for now.
makes sense?
pixie,
Wahaha..... that's what I am facing with my girl now - that she doens't sleep well at night. I didn't have this problem at all with HR, so I didn't really have a solution to this despite being an so-called experience mum. But this shouldn't be the reason for not having #2 woh, cos we all know every child is different even they are from the same "factory"
Wahaha..... that's what I am facing with my girl now - that she doens't sleep well at night. I didn't have this problem at all with HR, so I didn't really have a solution to this despite being an so-called experience mum. But this shouldn't be the reason for not having #2 woh, cos we all know every child is different even they are from the same "factory"
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Tongtong surprisingly she is ok with people coming over to play with her. Maybe it is within her comfort zone bah. That time when my friend from china brought her gal over, she was very curious about the Mei Mei. The only thing she refused to share was her high chair. when they left, she kept asking me where is rosabelle Mei Mei.
pixie at least xandall ko fast. If like mine really wears off my patience like today. When she vomitted I smacked her bottom cos I dun want her to use this trick as weapon. Cos I saw she deliberately cry very hard n cough at the same time a few times until she made herself vomit.
kam, raeanne does that everyday last week too when her favourite Chinese teacher was on long mc plus hubby on holidays so she wants to stay home with all of us. .
when they left, she kept asking me where is rosabelle Mei Mei.
pixie at least xandall ko fast. If like mine really wears off my patience like today. When she vomitted I smacked her bottom cos I dun want her to use this trick as weapon. Cos I saw she deliberately cry very hard n cough at the same time a few times until she made herself vomit.
kam, raeanne does that everyday last week too when her favourite Chinese teacher was on long mc plus hubby on holidays so she wants to stay home with all of us. .
pixie,
you should have tumpang my car to JE
tongtong,
That's what I challenge MYLIFE, if she is planning for #2, then I plan for #3. Now I challenge you also!!!
But no lah, honestly, I just told my hubby this morning I don't want #3 liao. But if I change my mind, again, I would wait till my girl is 2 yo first. Too challenging for us with no helper and no family support.
you should have tumpang my car to JE
tongtong,
That's what I challenge MYLIFE, if she is planning for #2, then I plan for #3. Now I challenge you also!!!
But no lah, honestly, I just told my hubby this morning I don't want #3 liao. But if I change my mind, again, I would wait till my girl is 2 yo first. Too challenging for us with no helper and no family support.
angelwind
Active Member
kam
i thought of going back to JE straightaway but i didnt like to spend time with my boy in JE (not my own house, cant do what i want), and i need shower and change of new clothes + makeup....in order to meet my friend and dont want to lug barang barang around so i dropped the idea
i thought of going back to JE straightaway but i didnt like to spend time with my boy in JE (not my own house, cant do what i want), and i need shower and change of new clothes + makeup....in order to meet my friend and dont want to lug barang barang around so i dropped the idea
tongtong8
Active Member
Kam, no la, I’m going to be SAHM and no more income liao, don’t think wanna have #2. hehe. unless I work again then will consider. U are right, no helper and family support is tough.
My hubby is going for interview next week. I really hope he can get the job then financially we are not so stressed
Pixie, wah! half day PM leave can do so many things ah!!
My hubby is going for interview next week. I really hope he can get the job then financially we are not so stressed
Pixie, wah! half day PM leave can do so many things ah!!
Kam
Woah... #3 for u? Want to salute all mummies coping with the 2 small kids now...
I feel so tired and drained. My #2 is getting fussy, always want to be carried.. and taking me as a human pacifier. Do u experience this too? My Xavier is still as naughty, I am trying to be more patient with him.. but really sometimes have to give us just becos I dun want to scream at him and I need to attend to #2 already.
Woah... #3 for u? Want to salute all mummies coping with the 2 small kids now...
I feel so tired and drained. My #2 is getting fussy, always want to be carried.. and taking me as a human pacifier. Do u experience this too? My Xavier is still as naughty, I am trying to be more patient with him.. but really sometimes have to give us just becos I dun want to scream at him and I need to attend to #2 already.
pixie, every kid is diff. so must think on the bright side of having another child, eg like having another sibling for X, so that they can learn to grow n love w each other, or when u n ur hubby depart this earth, atleast X still has another sibling whom he can share his life with.
ofcse,having another kid is financially strained too, best to 'plan' so that ur hubby n ur family can giv u ample support esp.when u r down n tired@
ofcse,having another kid is financially strained too, best to 'plan' so that ur hubby n ur family can giv u ample support esp.when u r down n tired@
icy, Xavier may be demanding more attention due to meimei presence. i tink it is human nature, mus giv him more time to 'love' n 'adapt to a new meimei in his life.
imagine the stress he is undergoing, from an onli child who has parents 100%attention to shared or even lesser 50% w meimei.
i am sure it is a growing stage n u WILL DEFINITELY OVERCOME ....
imagine the stress he is undergoing, from an onli child who has parents 100%attention to shared or even lesser 50% w meimei.
i am sure it is a growing stage n u WILL DEFINITELY OVERCOME ....
aqua,
U are right, he is definitely getting less attention from us. Been trying to attend to him more, it improves a bit, at least he wont keep screaming that he wants to go out.
Actually miss the days when I only had just 1 kid. Seemed so easy to handle.
Kitsune,
Do u have problem like #2 latching just for comfort?
U are right, he is definitely getting less attention from us. Been trying to attend to him more, it improves a bit, at least he wont keep screaming that he wants to go out.
Actually miss the days when I only had just 1 kid.
Seemed so easy to handle. Kitsune,
Do u have problem like #2 latching just for comfort?
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Icy, jia you! Me too, wonder why I was in such a hurry to have no. 2 sometimes. But I know there is no perfect time. Better suffer quick quick than drag out the pain right? ;p
My prob with Raelynn is different. She is on milk strike in the day keep having to force her to drink milk but she is more keen to suck her fingers. Then at night she always wake up.
My prob with Raelynn is different. She is on milk strike in the day keep having to force her to drink milk but she is more keen to suck her fingers. Then at night she always wake up.
vereneting
Active Member
hi mummies,
just came back from BKK. the trip is safe cos we avoided the protest areas. The shopping centres still crowded.
Yvonne,
Which kindergarden did u go to register?
just came back from BKK. the trip is safe cos we avoided the protest areas. The shopping centres still crowded.
Yvonne,
Which kindergarden did u go to register?
Kam: whr can we buy nuts? need to b natural or those supermarket kind? e only nuts my boy taken is in peanut butter.. Bad ting: my boy dont like to eat veg. how?? i always cut a bit and hide under e cod fish cos he luv cod fish. Good ting is he luv gg to sch.
Any mummies use clinique pore minimizer serum?
Icy: Xaiver is very well behave in class, Ray is like gg ard e class.. cant sit still.
Bad ting: my boy dont like to eat veg. how?? i always cut a bit and hide under e cod fish cos he luv cod fish. Good ting is he luv gg to sch.
Any mummies use clinique pore minimizer serum?
Icy: Xaiver is very well behave in class, Ray is like gg ard e class.. cant sit still.
Icy,
Jia you!!! Yes, there was a few times when my girl used me as human pacifier. I think it's very common? You do full latch on? Give your boy more attention as much as you can, and let your MIL/maid handles your baby. Probably just do the essential must do with your girl, ie, feeding. The rest can leave it to others, until your boy gains back his comfort and security, then you can divide your time between the two. And create opportunities for the brother-sister bonding helps too.
Kitsune,
I would think it would be best to have #2 when #1 reaches 3 years old. To me, the 0-3 years period is the most critical for a child, when he needs a lot of attention, a lot of guidance, love and care, and this is the period that they learn the fastest and most efficient. The Chinese says "san shui ding ba shi" (translation - your characteristics at 80 years old have already been form when you are at 3 years old). Now I can only give 50-50 (okay, honestly, not quite 50-50, but I try) to HR and XY. When things didn't go on smooth, I did question myself why have #2 so soon. But then, cannot u-turn liao, so I am trying my very best to work things out, so that I am still able to give them enough attention for their critical 0-3 period. Just my own thinking.
Jia you!!! Yes, there was a few times when my girl used me as human pacifier. I think it's very common? You do full latch on? Give your boy more attention as much as you can, and let your MIL/maid handles your baby. Probably just do the essential must do with your girl, ie, feeding. The rest can leave it to others, until your boy gains back his comfort and security, then you can divide your time between the two. And create opportunities for the brother-sister bonding helps too.
Kitsune,
I would think it would be best to have #2 when #1 reaches 3 years old. To me, the 0-3 years period is the most critical for a child, when he needs a lot of attention, a lot of guidance, love and care, and this is the period that they learn the fastest and most efficient. The Chinese says "san shui ding ba shi" (translation - your characteristics at 80 years old have already been form when you are at 3 years old). Now I can only give 50-50 (okay, honestly, not quite 50-50, but I try) to HR and XY. When things didn't go on smooth, I did question myself why have #2 so soon. But then, cannot u-turn liao, so I am trying my very best to work things out, so that I am still able to give them enough attention for their critical 0-3 period. Just my own thinking.
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Kam I agree. At least by 3 years old they should be toilet train n self feed n more vocal Liao. That is why I hesitate on no. 3 Liao. Cos if I wait until raelynn is 2 yr plus then have no. 3, I will be 37 liao n it will be year of dragon too competitive, not ideal leh. Plus I can't wait to resume my travelling. Dun want to wait another 5 years leh.
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Tongtong, aqua, i will only try for no. 3 if I feel the maternal instinct for one more lor. Right now not even coping With 2 leh. Think no. 3 will only be a possibility if both kids r in cc n I am working so that got paid ml n more budget. Haha.
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Aqua i am only considering leh. No. 3 not a must cos hubby always wanted only 2. ;p
kitsune_sg
Active Member
Aqua the only reason is because I wanted a rabbit but won't work out if I dun want to have no. 3 so soon lor.
