(2007/10) October 2007 MTB

[ecookie]

tiffany: im very vexed with the "siao" sky high prices now too.. cos my ideal is to buy those yet to TOP 1st, then move in end next year and sell my flat then. but given the prices now, really no way can we buy 1st.

dodo: same same, im trying to attach both too. doing PV and also moving within 1km. wah, sometimes i feel so kiasu. but i feel the least i can do is at least give yz a good start at a better school..

twinklestars: hurray for you! hope u can rest better now that the CL is here to help!

hippo: dun worry too much abt adri accepting didi.yz is still working on his "love=" for didi. when didi is lying on his own, yz will go n kiss him and play w him. but once he sees me carrying didi, will be unhappy and his notti acts all come out again to gain attnetion. think just have to give him more time and he will be as loving as zq to ya soon! heh.

 

[ecookie]

hapu_fifi: pray that K's results tomorrow will be just fine!

maruko: yah i agree. dont move out becos of her! not worth it. just continue ignore her and let ur hb deal w her.

primary school: im thinking of either red swastika or yu neng. back to the east and near my mum! yay!

 

[vivphua]

Hapi_fifi: Hugz, K's results will definitely turn out fine

eccokie: red swastika is a sap school....not sure about yu neng, go for the red!

 

[vivphua]

ecookie: forgotten to add on...you are not kiasu...and I double your kiasuness...keke We are just providing the best for our kids...people have been telling me a sap school doesn't guarantee good results....but at least I try my best..so no regrets

 

[jas55]

Good am mummies. Need to seek advise from those have maids.

This am, danson took my maid's hp to play. He pass it to me. Then i took a quick glance of her wallpaper, the background is my kitchen. She was wearing a spaghetti. I was shocked. Then i browse into her photo gallery. I was dumbfounded. more than 150 photos. More than half is my kids photos. (i feel very uncomfortable). She even took pic of Dayan's penis!!! Then she wear very sexy clothes and pose like a prostitute. Many different poses with different clothes. all taken in my house.
There is this pose: she press Danson's head to her breast, wearing deep V spaghetti.

I am very unhappy with her work performance and today i saw this. Think i want to change her liao. Her heart is not here.

 

[marukolim]

Gd morning mummies...

ecookie, will b prayin hard for u dat ur mil wont chu pattern for u.

Jas, tink u shld confiscate the hp also. Del all the pics dat hav ur kids. Its a gd choice to change her asap.

 

[babywoes]

morning mummies!!

petit,
I'm currently staying at SK. We're looking out around Bishan/Serangoon area cause my in-laws stay in Bishan. we're also looking at those near to TOP dates but the prices are crazily high!

re: school
I think it's really impt for the kids. not just our kids but our kids' future kids. It'll be so much easier for them if the first foundation is set properly. My hub's pri school was lousy. mine is in the east too far

so now it really leaves us headache.

ecookie,
enjoy your weekend staycation! am sure your boys will have lots of fun! I was from red swas! kekeke. see the pattern come out good or not?

Jas,
I'm very disgusted by your maid's action. so 'feng shao'! I can understand if they're vain and like to camwhore but to take photo of your son's photos and his p****!!! it's quite worrying. faster change her liao.

 

[doobom]

Morning Mummies!

Finally manage to come in as I cun seems to find the thread for days.

Jas,
OMG! Such a headache. Change her straight coz the photos involve your kiddos! Maybe u want to highlight to maid agent when u send her back to maid agency. Show the maid agent the photos and get the maid agent to question her for her actions.
In fact, the younger one @ our place is somehow quite vainpot too. Initially when I check on her hp when she just came to our place, I saw revealing pics too. Questioned her, she claimed that it's her cousin who make fun of her. Then I called her ex-employer (coz she is a transfered maid), and understand why they didn't want her. They told me that becoz she cun cook and she is allergic to garlic handling.
Thereafter decdied to give her a chance since she is ok with her work performance/attitude... Asked her to delete all the obsence photos, and told her that we need proper attire (be it during the day or when she sleep) coz we happen to know that she has sexy nightwear with her.
From then till now, she is still ok. I guess there is another older maid @ home, so she yet come up with funny tricks.
Still monitoring her behaviours on and off.

 

[doobom]

ecookie,
Enjoy your weekend staycation! Have fun.

 

[jas55]

Doobom,
U think i should change her? or give her a chance to repent? delete all the photos & keep her handphone?
Noted that this maid has very high pride. She dun want ppl to treat her like a maid. Cannot be reprimanded. I must be very tactful with my words & actions. How shall i handle this?

 

[jas55]

Btw, she is having her off day this sunday. (for those dun know, she asked me for it...which i m very unhappy abt it) I am pretty sure something will happen. She is in a very good relationship with a guy. She dun want to admit its a bf. Every night on the phone before 8pm to 1-2am.

 

[marukolim]

Jas, best to change her lah. Dun risk it since it involves ur kids whom u leave in her care. No need to tell her anything. Juz call the agency to get some1 to pick her up if u not convenient to fetch her back.

Btw, this morning FIL noticed Travis got a swollen lymph node under his chin. Can some1 advise me if its normal? I checked online for more info and it was indicated if it's soft n movable den observe if it lingers for more den 2 wks. If not, it doesn't require doc attention. He still active as per normal. When ask him if its painful, he said no.

 

[marukolim]

Jas, wa seh...on the phone from 8pm onwards till over midnite? How com u allow her to use for so long har? No offence but its best u restrict her usage. I'm sure she will hav "something" wif the guy when she go out on sun. It's best u take things under ur control b4 u let her out.

 

[babywoes]

Jas,

is your maid allowed to have off days on her contract? I have a colleague who was very firm with her maid when her maid told her she wants (note it's told my colleague not request hor) off day during xmas saying that she's Christian and need to go church although her contract strictly says no leave. and my colleague know she's using church as an excuse to go out.

So in the end my colleague firmly told her she has no leave although the maid insisted that she should not work that day. So she told the maid fine, you can't go out and you don't have to do chores that day so consider your off day.

 

[hippo18]

morning ladies! *waves*

hb talked to bb ayden this morning.. "didi ar, u better be guai guai today and dun make a fool out of urself ar!" hahahhahahaa..

ecookie, thanks dearie! let's cross our fingers and hope they accept their siblings with open arms and a BIG Heart!

jas, piangz! please change her le. seriously. no point keeping her esp when in the 1st place, she already have the "air" ard her. plus these pics now? omg. u never know la.. too vain to keep ard in the hse my dear..
anyway dearie, sorie abt yday and thanks thanks thanks! MUACKS!!

 

[hippo18]

maruko, just bring travis to the doc ya? at least u rest ur mind.. get it checked soon k?

 

[doobom]

Jas,
Called me an extremist if you like. I go all out to avoid any trouble. No choice leh, Preventive is better than corrective.

Since day1 any maid comes onboard with us, I do not allow off-day and handphone. I did give explaination for my reasoning to them. Off-Days: 'For the 1st two years, there is lots for you to learn to pick up so I dun think you can afford time to have off-day. We will look into the off-days allowance when u renew your contract. If you are not ok, then it's ok that you go for another employer. We dun want you to be unhappy. It's ok for us.' I will share that there are so many live examples of maid getting into trouble after they start going on off days.
HP: 'As we need your help and attention to tend to the housechores and taking care of the kids, we dun want you to be distracted. But once we are back from work in the evenings and you need to call, we will let you call.' I keep her HP and pass it to her when she needs to call.
The older maid is on home leave for 3 weeks. I told her that if she is intending to get off-days when she renew her contract, then she cun go on that long. As and when, I share with her the horror stories of maid chopping up maid from the news, the great amount of $$ required to be spent during their off-days (show her the prices of everything wherever we go), etc. Somehow she gets it and prefers to go on longer home leave since her focus is earning $$ for her 1/2 dozen kids and visiting them longer during her home leave.
The younger one has HP, but she only calls once in a while.
Though I am very strict, I still spend time chatting with them. Asking them how's their family, blah blah...

Maruko,
You want to bring him for a check with the PD?
*I am the kia-see type. So I will behave this way.

 

[doobom]

hippo,
Hahaha... ur hb is funny.
'dun make a fool out of urself ar'...
Makes me smile like an idoit @ my 'neh-cock'. Hahahaha...
Hang in there! Keep talking to Ayden didi and tell him when you want him to come out lor.

 

[doobom]

One of my friend share with me...

His maid started to have off-day after a year service. Got to know this phil bf and started sleeping with him whenever she go on her off day. She is happy with him coz he gave her $$.
During the half-yearly medi checkup, she was tested +ve for STD.
Results shared and known to my friend. My friend decided to send her back to Phil. She begged my friend not to send her back coz her hb is from military and owns a gun. He will surely blast her brains if he knows abt it.
My friend pitied her, send her to hospi for treatment. After she recovered, he sent her straight home though she kept asking him for a second chance.
No chance should be given, I guess. coz she is taking care of his young kid. Imagine what disease is her and she is handling a kid.
I hear already... Haiz... Told the two helpers @ home... Told them that the foreign men here who are after them are all crap. Only two reason - sexual desire & $$. What else can it be?

 

[marukolim]

hippo/doobom, I juz called GP. Now waitin for him to return my call. Will ask him abt the lymph nodes.

re:MIL
guess wat? Now she says she feels insecure, dats y will say wanna move out coz she tinks we r findin ways to kick her out. -_- hb now say wanna add her name to the flat. WTH!!!

 

[doobom]

Jas,
U decide whether to keep her or not, judging on her work performance, attitude, etc.
If u decide to send her away, then dun let her know 1st. When u are ready to leave the house, get her pack her stuff, ask for her hp and then tell her that u keep for her till you reach maid agency. @ the maid agency, then you share everything with the maid agent and get her to settle everything for you.
If you want to keep her, need a talk with her. But if she is very 'attitude', then u need to think if she can accept your 'counselling' or not.
Discuss with your hb?

 

[babywoes]

maruko,

J had a lump near his pelvis area a while ago. Doc could not diagnose anything but say it's just a swelled gland that should go off. And it did. It's better to seek a professional opinion and have a peace of mind.

hippo,
"I got a feeling....woooo hooo....that tonight Ayden will not come out!" hahaha...sorry for my corniness

 

[doobom]

maruko,
what's the point of adding her name to the flat? Has she did a part in financing the flat?
Anyway, you ignore her lah... Think she has nothing better to do. Just want some attention since she is too bored. Get your hb to handle her.
Normally I will keep quiet after making my stand clear (let hb noe what I want) and turn deaf ears when any such nonsense come about. Let him handle since she's his mother. Interfer already, it will only further agitate her.
Dun bother about her too much. Long weekend ler... Plan and look ahead to lotsa FUN with Travis.

 

[marukolim]

doobom, eee...ur fren very kind hearted leh. Still send her for treatment. Tink I'm the hard-hearted one who will send her back. She shld hav known the consequences b4 doing it.

 

[babywoes]

maruko,

I think your mil feels insecure because she knows that she has been giving nonsense and fear that when she gets older, she has no "home" to go too. I agree with doobom, just ignore her nonsense. she has no right to ask for part ownership of the house unless she did contribute to the finances la.

 

[junniezz]

morning all

yyeeee.. all tis maids stories really scary...

jas... agreed if u want send her back now.. pls do it discreetly so tat she dun hv a chance to hide anything.. i dun tink i wan such maid in my hse esp aft seeing the pixs in the hp which involves our kids... wonder wat is she up to & wat else she did to the kids behind our back? too bad the kids too young to tell u wat she has done.. v angry w ur maid now.. (how nice if can gv her two tight slaps!!!).

maruko.. old ppl r all lidat.. they wont feel secure w/o a hse w their names... agree w doobom.. let ur hb go settle w her... aft all MIL oni listens to her son. wat we say they'll doubt..

tiffany.. paisay arh... 2day i login then realise i 4get to chk the handbook =D

hippo.. ur hb so 'comical' =D ayden definitely wont wan to b a fool.. he's still enjoy 'kicking' u inside =D

cm.. how's carlson?

hapififi.. dun worry.. dun worry.. keagan can go home w u today aft the test =)

zhenzhen.. u recover liao buay?

 

[junniezz]

maruko, bbwow.. but add names wont get any benefit out of the house other than the owners only rite? at most oni show as occupant nia.. of cos for ur case (maruko), to me... ur MIL jus kicking a big fuss to find 'security'.. ur current house is under urs & hb name?

mine is opposite.. i staying my mum's hse, she's 1st owner, my name is 2nd (as gift fm my late father b4 i married).. now i got stucked i cant buy hse, my mum dun want to sell... got good & bad lor.. i dun hv a hse but at least i dun hv to pay loan & no need stay w IL..

 

[hippo18]

doobom!! hahahahaha.. u lagi funny la.. laugh @ ur "neh-cock"..

ur fren is reali kind-hearted leh.. piangz.. STD! i wldnt hv taken the risk...

bbwow, u! another one.. hahahahahaha.. but but but! i dun mind if i get contractions this evening. as long as not in the day! else sure cannot escape being the fool.. LOL

junnie! i dunno u are fiery leh! wana give her 2 tight slaps.. keke.. cool dear.. hugs..

maruko, tell her go fly kite! pui!
anyway, i agree with doobom. tell ur hb u oppose. and just let them settle. at least u make ur stand clear.

 

[tiffany_seah]

Good morning ALL!

Junnie, hey.. no worries already. I have already got my answer yesterday le. Remember?? Thanks lei..

Re: Maid
Offdays/ Handphone are the routes to NONSENSE!!! Early this week, I encounter a Phil maid and an Indian worker quarrelling just beside me and my maid only. We were at a public gym hall and all parents and caregivers are sitting at the sides waiting and watching our kids during their lessons. Out of the blue, I heard this Phil maid who was seated beside my maid quarrelling with this indian man who was standing in front of her. I heard her keep telling him "You go away, dont come and find me, you are not my bf or hb, you better leave or I complain to your employer, dont get me in trouble etc etc.... and On the indian man side, I heard he said "you take my money" then the maid said, "you crazy"... blah blah blah.... Gosh... see the complications and endless affair thingy????

Jas, my maid is also those prideful sort. Handling her must be really tactful. My maid also take lots of pictures of my kids in her HP. I am still ok, becos she really loves kids and loves my nephews and nieces too. Can tell she loves kids very much. In my opinion, I am afraid to keep your maid if she has all these things. I am kia si type, afraid of trouble and Men coming knocking on my door etc. My good fren's maid is now on Police case for stealing rings/ money/used HP and also possessing lots of bras that she stole fm students in the hostel (cos my fren's family stays in school hostel) ... Troublesome mann!!!

 

[doobom]

hippo,
Wah... u seems very 'HIGH' and excited... Muz cool down abit and not be so 'HIGH' 2dae. Later didi very happy and want to see you earlier, then how? *No Lah, No Lah...*
2dae, u muz act abit more cool ok? Hahaha...
Ya, I agree that my friend is very kind-hearted. In terms of his character, he is very good natured further to his religious beliefs. Just so sad for him to encounter such horrifying maid.

junnie,
Yes... With your calm character, you want to give her 2 tight slaps. Can u imagine those with fiery temper? can tear down the roof? Hahahhaha...

 

[hippo18]

doobom, wahahaha! i m reali very HIGH leh.. LOL.. but ok.. i will be cool... and calm.. keke..
ur fren is reali nice. the maid dunno wat's good for her.. haiz.

 

[marukolim]

mummies...sigh...feelin so depressed today. :'(
told my hb I dun wanna bother liao. He said let her add name den c how it goes. She will feel more secure wif her name for the flat. I told him if wanna add name den I move back to my parent's place on wkdays. Dun wanna c her stupid face. Guess im still soft hearted. Hb assures me after addin name den things will b ok. If not den I can consider movin to my parent's place. Sigh...cant help cryin...

 

[marukolim]

Tiffany, tink I might not b gg for the playdate either tmr or sat liao. Sorry.

 

[hippo18]

oh dear maruko.. i feel angry for u! this is so ridiculous.. blardy hell. it doesnt make any freaking sense. haiz.. hugs dearie. we sayang u okie? we know how u must be feeling now! argh..

 

[tiffany_seah]

Hi Maruko,

NP. Understand this issue is really upsetting. As I mentioned, try to make peace, cos, it is mentally draining and tired to be in a fuet. She is too close to have a fight with. You can never avoid seeing her one.... so, why make yourself so unhappy? As to ownership, there are 2 options in the HDB law which states: Joint Tenancy & Tenancy-in-common. You can read and understand the difference.

http://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10326p.nsf/w/ChgOwnerEligCriteriaShareProportion?OpenDocument

 

[doobom]

maruko,
Sayang & Hugs... Dun be depressed. Cool it, dun cry. Find out more and 'protect' yourself.
U wanna to call up HDB to check if any implication(s) if adding occupier to your flat? E.g. if in future, any decisions to the handling/managing of flat, does it need occupier's consensus?
I forgotten the rules though I just did some HDB transfaction recently.

 

[babywoes]

maruko,

oh dear. this really sucks. yeah. better to check any implications if adding occupier. I really wonder what's her motive. what if next time argue about selling house how?

 

[junniezz]

bbwow..tink occupier got no say one.. oni owners nia.

doobom,hippo..angry not bcos she 'hiao lay lay' but bcos she do such tings to a little boy ;(

 

[junniezz]

maruko... dun feel upset abt it le.. go ahead to enjoy ur long weekend... nvm tis time let ur MIL win... tink tis way.. "add name nia mah.. nothing big deal.. she wont b hugging the paper whole day long... she also cant claim is her house cos got black & white & every1 shd knw whether she contributes or not.. tis will make others show how 'wu liao' she is as to make a big fuss to achieve somthing... she old liao.. no point fight w her... on the other hand... u indirectly draw a line w her...but cant b so obvious cos got a gang of relatives/aunties/uncles... but now dun move out lah.. i'm sure ur parents also wont agree if u move immediately back to them.. aft all she's ur hb's mum... u also wont wan ur hb to b sandwiched... glad he knws ur 'wei qu' & stand at ur side at times.."

trying to dig some funny pixs.. hope tis will cheer u up :

fm basket to pillow case all to the head :

 

[marukolim]

Tiffany, thx for findin out the link for me. I will let hb settle himself wif his bro. FYI, she is oredi an immediate occupier for the flat. BUT she wanna add as owner now. Hb told me he oredi called up HDB to ask. Can b done wif $200. But it might affect our interest rates coz she oredi bought flat a few times previously n not entitled to hav HDB loan. Initially when we shifted from woodlands is also bcoz we wanna get HDB loan for lower interest rate. End up now back to square 1. Sigh...

bbwow, if she wanna add name to sell off the flat in future den of coz I wont allow. Tink hb wont also. So im not worried abt dat.

junnie, I only got to noe recently dat she helped hb contribute to the COV when we shifted to amk. So financially we still owe her an amt. Dat day when she heated up, she told hb to return her the $ den she move out. I so pissed off wanna borrow from my parents or bank or whoever to throw her the $. I owe 阿猪阿狗 also dun wanna owe her.
Thx for the pics to cheer me up. I'm feelin much better liao. Lucky my boss not in yet, if not he will keep askin me qns abt wat happened.

 

[tiffany_seah]

Junnie,
Lance indeed help put a smile to my face!!!
Da Jie, you are right, occupier has no say, so, when adding, just ensure you know where you add. btw, if not wrong, if you MIL IC address is your hse, then HDB records would auto include her as occupier liao., If you have Singpass, just go HDB Infoweb link to check... all your hse info is there with just a click.

Also, I feel you should not move out. You are just showing her gang that you are naive and irrespectful to the elders. Dont show that you are petty also.... give your hb face too. Travis will be tramatised with all these unhealthy changes. He will know one!!!

 

[tiffany_seah]

Alamak, I am mixing up my advice!!!

The advice should be for Maruko la... sotong me.

Maruko, ya, HDB has these records. btw, how come it will affect your loan interest? if she wants to add as owner, does that means she also wants to help pay loan? If add name only, and both you and hb can continue with the same loan arrangement right?

Ohhhh .... She paid the COV, then definitely, she has some "power" and say liao. Looks like your hb has to decide how to settle this issue loh. Either pay her and she move out or, remain as it is liao.

 

[babywoes]

maruko,
wah seh! what's her motive of adding to be owner? definitely she'll use that to argue other things next time since she has 'power' now. better think carefully

 

[hapi_fifi]

Jas,
eeks! All these maids horror stories are scaring me :-(
Gosh now mummies with boys also have additional worry that the maid might sexually abuse them... What is the world coming to? Tsk tsk

Maruko,
alamak your mil really one big headache wor. But like quite unfair if she's added as owner to your house when she never requests her other children to do the same. But if simply add name as occupier & doesn't affect your decision to sell in future, then u just close one eye? Sigh tough. I hope next time I can just enjoy couplehood with Hubby & no need stay with my boys & their wives. Think mil-dil issues are never ending heehee

re: Keagan
I'm now in mt A waiting to make payment for discharge. Dr tan did the spinal test this morning but had some minor glitches so the result can only be known in 2 days' time instead of within 4 hrs. But he gave the green light to let us bring him home first & start him on oral antibiotics 3 times a day for a week.

Dr will inform us again when results are out. Yippie! I'm so happy. Can finally bring him home & today is daddy birthday! Haha not an April's fool joke. Hubby is really born today *wink wink hippo*

just now when I told Keagan 'yay! We are going home today!' then he suddenly broke into a loud wail. Haha the nurses said he misses them & doesn't want to go home

 

[marukolim]

Tiffany, thx for the advice. Accordin to HDB, me & hb considered 1st timers for HDB loan but MIL is not. So if add her name to the flat, it might affect our current loan wif HDB coz she is not entitled to hav it anymore wif her previous entitlements.

bbwow, she wanna b OWNER den we wont hav the "chance" of kickin her out of the house.

Hapififi, HEY ur news brought a smile to my face.

So happy K can go back home liao. FYI occupier wont affect decision for flat issues but owner will. So addin her name means she got a say in EVERYTHING.

 

[tiffany_seah]

Happififi,
WOWOOWOWOOW... SO SO SO happy to hear your GREAT and HAPPY News. Its a long awaited Good news. Have a good celebration and good weekend with your family. I am so happy for you.

Maruko,
Piangz!! Sian liao la... but anyway, the pte loan rate is lower than HDB at the moment, but no guarantee this will last long. Hey... do read the Tenancy in common and Joint tenancy clauses carefully. It can be beneficial to you if you opt for Joint Tenancy. When she dies, her shares will be passed down. If opt for Tenancy in common, her shares will still be her share and split by her will.... u read carefully and apply accordingly. I have rough idea only.....

 

[marukolim]

Tiffany, ya really sianz totally...tink our current clause is Joint Tenancy so addin her name wont affect it. Will let hb settle. Anyway both his bros r financially stable so wont hav any "issues" wif them over the shares of the flat in future.

 

[babywoes]

happy news!! congrats to hapi fifi and baby K!

 

[junniezz]

tiffany.. u sotong? nvm.. i knw who u referring can liao =D

maruko.. waaaah.. so ur MIL "野心" is bcom owner, i thot she want b 'chu kar' (occupant) nia... hiaz... hope u, ur hb & MIL can settle tis amicably... talking abt joint tenenacy.. i gotta go chk out my case too.. cant remember is joint or wat.. i oni knw i cannot buy house now w/o taking my name out...hiaz..

happififi... wat a great news for daddy on his bd tat keagan's can go home & join the family =) happy bd to ur hb.. & i cant wait to hear fm u how's aidan's reaction @1st sight w didi! u yourself shd find time to rest with two boys to handle ya =)

 

[marukolim]

junnie, she is "immediate" occupant. Tink she hear from too many 三姑六婆 abt being chased out of house if name is not under ownership. So now makin a big fuss over it. Hb said his bro will com over my place to hav a talk tmr. Dunno how it will b but confirm all fingers will b on me. Shld I flare up? Sigh...den it will b 没完没了...