totoro.. btw, below is my experience w self-hurting to share. as for kelly, i tink u need to talk to her if u really tink she's self-hurting herself, ie, pay more attention to her emotion fm now. tis needs lotsa patience.
fyi, both my kids like to bite themselves (wrist area) or beat us whenever they r angry/got punishment, i noticed it when they r abt 2 yrs old and also during change of environment (eg. go cc/schl). we wud try to distract their bad habits by explaining to them is not rite to hurt themselves. so far, we r correcting lance’s behaviour on/off. As for zann.. long story.. i didnt vent here aft the incident cos i was quite upset & duno how to write & no time to write tis long incident (u all shd knw i v 'long winded' one =D).
during 5th day of p1, her chinese teacher spoke to me & I was shocked to learn she scratched her own lower arm vigorously. I meant, the form teacher shd hv infmd me instead, but tat was until 5th day of schl start then I was infmd. The chinese teacher said bcos the form teacher ‘new’ so she has been working w her on tis case?? according to teacher, whenever zann classmates accidentally ‘knock’ her, etc, she wud start feel v agitated & will want to hit her friend back.. and when teacher ‘scold’ /’punish’ her, she wud start to scratch herself... I told teacher to monitor & get bk to me if tis prolongs. Meanwhile, I was quite upset w the chinese teacher cos she didn’t spoke to me in pte abt tis matter but during their ‘passing out parade’ in the hall where most parents seated (I took 2hrs time-off to attend tis event tat time) and u imagine how noisy the hall is when we both gotta raise our voice talking to each other(sorry no offend, but her pitch really v high/sharp she's fm china). I got few parents came asked me aft the event wat’s happening & tat CQ see until eyes ‘big big’. I’m in a difficult position to tell them wat happened cos I want teacher to investigate 1st. The way the chinese teacher said was like labeling my child as a bully instead & mentioned for action like self-hurting.. is quite serious alr, wat if my child grow up & armed w sharp weapon like gun/knife she wud attack ppl!!!! I'm shocked to hear all tis nonsense.. anyway I told the teacher I nvr rcvd such complaints fm her cc or student care except she'll throw tantrum like normal kids when ask to consume food she doesnt like. B4 I left the schl, I verified tis matter w the form teacher & she told me she did realise it (but y she didnt tell me earlier??) then she asked if zann knw a gal in her class b4? i told her yes, there's an ex-classmate of hers fm same cc in same class as her now (but all along they r lidate, sometime 'not so click' quarrelling over small matters, me & her classmate ah mah knew abt it but we dun see any seriousness & we r all in good talking terms). teacher said she separated zann fm her ex-classmate le, i told her tat's good. she said she jus afraid zann's reaction might influence other classmates too. Tat nite when we talked to zann, she said her classmates (including CQ’s gal) gang up to step her leg she feels v angry & her ex-classmate always like to carry tales abt her & ask the rest dun friend her, she said she duno y she scratched herself… I was sad to hear wat she told me.. telling her she b more open up if such tings happened again, she can talk to her teacher or me. I told zann to report to teacher if she has problems again w her classmates cos I have no rights to find the individual classmates & questioned them, is for the teacher to settle their ‘conflict’ cos within the class. hb was quite mad he insist on changing class for zann but i dun see tis will solve the prblm if our gal dun speak up of her prblms & we duno if she needs any counseling? he then support me to write to the schl but i didnt wanna get principal involve at tis stage.. so i choose to write to the pupil mgmt dept 1st. with nanny’s daughter’s help to 'beautify' my ltr (she has some experience dealing w psychological matters as i dun wan my ltr to sounds like solely complaint ltr but rather to approach the schl for help if they tink my gal has any 'withdrawn behaviour’), if they tink my gal has prblm & requires counseling, I wud jolly let her participate, but the teacher cant label my kid as bully w/o investigation & wat wud her classmates and/or parents look upon her? If my gal really got ‘sickness’, we shd gv her proper treatment rather than jus ‘punish’ cos tis wont help. I also raised my unhappiness of being infmd of tis matter in the public setting. V fast I got reply fm a v friendly hod who also cc tis matter to the schl counselor, she said they’ll investigate & get back to me. Abt 3 days later, the hod called me & said they found my gal absolutely normal after their monitoring her during curriculum & recess time. They find her v responsive & chatty & when the counselor spoke to her, she react quite fluently to her questions. They ensure me my gal is not ‘sick’. I told the hod if not for the teachers to approach me so suddenly & the ‘seriousness’ they put across, I wont b writing to her. But of cos, they dare not mention abt the ‘talking to me in public’ issue la. I tink my gal behave tis way bcos she’s in the transition period fm preschl to new student care & p1. At home when she’s angry she can ‘scold’ us back & throw tantrum, in schl/outside, she dare not do tat to her teachers so she ‘self-hurt’ herself. i'm glad tat on abt 2nd wk, I overheard her form teacher talked to her ex-classmate’s ah mah & complaint to her her grand-daugther likes to scratch ppl!!! Heng.. not oni my gal ‘got prblm’ & i duno who influencing who?? but i jus thank god my gal’s behaviour so far so good except her cheekiness many at times. tat wk after teacher complaints abt her, i tell u.. she let us nagged until she bth, she said 'ok ok, every day so many ppl tell me same ting, u & daddy tell me, ah mah tell me, po po tell me, nanny tell me, etc etc tell me.. my ear & head v pain le!! keke.. we told her we all luv her tat's y we correct her misbehavour b4 anybody else complaints abt her again. Now we oni got prblm w tat CQ nia.. touchwood no more ‘stories’ fm her. The reason y I didn’t ask to change plc for her tis time w CQ’s gal cos teacher alr separate her fm her ex-classmate, if not later teacher wud b wondering y we so problematic? So I tell zann to endure her classmates tiny act, if really got prblms must voice out to teacher. But so sway, she was asked to sit w CQ’s gal, then her form teacher like ‘fresh graduate’ not so much experience like other p1 class, hiaz!! (imagine when I wrote to the schl.. nxt day I got tell her form teacher (jus for courtesy sake), her 1st word to me is : if u mention abt ‘withdrawn behaviour’, u needa provide the schl w doctor certification??? In my ltr alr clearly stated if they suspect my gal got such problm, they shd gv her a chance to be diagnosed & advise me proper help/treatment to help the kid rather than label her w/o findings).. hiaz..
</font> 