ros...good to have you FIL to help look after him... but do spend time with him when you can after the newborn is out... else he will feel left out and jealous... best to have both of them by your side after your confinement to reduce sibling rivalry... just prepare mentally and you can do it...
qiuling... i am no expert hor... how i plan my time is quite simple. In the morning when the kids woke up, usually they are quite fresh and happy, so I will do everything that I need to do... everything need to be done pretty fast... cooking of the kids food and cleaning the house all will be done within 1.5 hrs... but some days when the kids are more clingy then you gotta be flexible with the timing... sit with them for awhile and pacify them. once they are happy again then can continue to do your work again. when i am breastfeeding my boy that time, I will ask my gal to sit beside me and I will give her some toys to play... at the same time try to play with her too while i bf-ing... can be rather difficult but it helps her to feel important and not feel left out... slowly slowly she understands and accept the baby presence.
my thoughts about you sending zachary to cc now is not a good idea, because you may be causing him to feel that because of baby, you are putting him to cc and he will get back to you with more tantrums and more difficult situations to deal with. when your baby is sleeping, spent 100% of your time with Zachary, play with him, read to him, watch tv with him... just you and him... to reassure him that he is important to you too...
since you got a maid, cleaning of the house is not a problem for you. so you just need to focus on both of the children... when your baby wakes up, let Zachary and baby play together...
i dun think Zachary wants to be with your maid because he wants your attention now... so leave the rest of household chores to the maid and you take care of the baby and Zachary...
try to have a daily routine for baby and zachary. try to coincide Zachary day naps with baby napping time... at least one of the napping time both of the kids are sleeping, this is the time you can rest and recharge...
observe your kids and their timing and make a suitable daily plan that you can follow through, make changes as and when needed.... as you get the hang of it... you will be an expert... it takes time, dun despair...
hope this gives you some ideas...
