(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

i wanna add to ah bian's story.

ah bian like to talk.
if someone wants to stop him from talking, it is a punishment to him.

so same to my mil. she loves talking. if anyone stops her from talking, she cannot tahan too!
we adults also cannot tahan, then kids how? even worst right?

we must be fair to our kids too.
 


SQ,
the sea cucumber from NTUC is ok, not yucky to clean. Cannot send YE to eat with me lah. With RR, I already got to "fight" for my own share liao. Plus YE, I don't have to eat le. :S

Autum,
it's mid year now, PTC coming, right? Maybe can wait till then to find out more? Then it won't seem like you are the type of parent that go after them for "little" things. PTC is for finding out and feedback mah.
 
before i go lab. let me share one story that is quite good. it is a real experience of a teacher in australia.

this teacher she has a violent kid in the class. he bite ppl, beat ppl and just ignore teachers. he everyday kacau ppl until all the kids were scared of him. he was kind of rejected in the class, and the more he was rejected the more he go kacau the rest.
apparently, the kids has family issues too. they have violent issues are home too.
and this kid is kind of hyperactive too, and cannot sit still. he can move v v fast and run v fast, teachers find it hard to chase after him too.

so after discussing with the parents and the rest of the teachers, they said he will be punished. and he will be separated from other kids temporarily.
so how?

they dedicated one temp teacher/to take care of him. while the rest continue to play in the class. then they made this boy carry sand (for sand pit play) to fill up the sand pit. then other kids will play. he is v energetic de, he can do v well in the carrying, running walking etc.
they made him feel useful... when he was done with his task, he feels tired, and he joined the class for short while. if he patterns again, they do it again.
everyday.. without fail.
so one day, he realised filling up the sand pit is so fun and he feels useful, so he filled up le then ask the other kids to go play. he was so happie.
then he started helping ppl here and there, though still v hyperactive la.
slowly, after 1 year... (it takes 1 year) and he was back to the class fully.
within that one year, he was asked to do the high energy work for first 2 weeks nia, other time whenever he kacau ppl and notti again, he will be channeled to do other tasks.
after 1 year, he dun misbehave anymore and he cares for others too, same as other kids.

but they involved the parents because they dun want the parents to complain that they bully the kid, and made him carry sand. actually he liked to carry the sand woh.

i salute the teachers... v patient! and steady.
but this casse is extreme case la.

but here in asia, 动不动then punish. sigh!
 
Autum: I feel you should let EJ know you'll go talk to the teachers. Just as a normal chat to find out how EJ is doing in school, not to complain. And find out why some of the children has left.
Once Anna cried when I was going to pick her up. The teacher said they chided her for being the only one in class who did not paste a picture correctly cos she was talking to her friends. Then I told Anna I will go speak to the teacher, and I did. Of course she didn't know content of the conversation, but the point that I went to speak to the teacher becos she had expressed some fears and dislike in going to school (and learning), that act itself gave her assurance. So I think EJ will also feel assured you go and talk to the P.

QQ: There used to be a child who's almost like the boy you described. He's famous! As in, all the parents of other kids know of this boy, cos he bullies everyone else - bites, hits, snatches toys etc etc.. At the PTC session, his parents were before me, (as u can expect, so I waited very long for my turn), then after that, the boy no longer comes to school. I dunno what happened to him, but one day, I asked anna abt him, and anna said he didn't come to school. At first I thot it was just that day, then every time I asked abt him, Anna said he's not in school, so I concluded that the parents must have withdrawn him.
 
BB, some kids were punished until they passed urine uncontrollably. Sigh!
Remembered I was v v scared during my English lesson in pri 3. We started English only a p3 the teacher made us stand on chair, then progressed to table, then lastly stand on the chair while the chair is put on the table. Whenever we cannot read a word, or answer a question correctly, we will be punished in this way. I was so scared, but I did answer wrongly also, ended up everyone was either on the chair, or table or on the chair on table. Wah!!!! After a while, everyone was used to it and just stand lor. Very Bo Liao the teacher.
 
AAA, I skipped some info about the kid. Teachers did praise him for doing the sand pit job for the class, everyone was asked to thank him so that he felt proud. Etc etc... Those encouragement made him feel that instead of going disturb others, he can be better. Etc...

Wah, so the boy left?? Sigh... Maybe he found a better school who has the resource to accommodate him. Also god.. Sometimes it is the environment and chemistry
 
QQ, Star: Last time my chinese CMI de. I'm ok speaking in mandarin, but most (if not all) of the financial and legal terms, I have absolutely no clue in Chinese.. So before I started the chinese presentations, I hired a chinese teacher to coach me. In fact, I gave him the script I prepared in English, then I made him translate into chinese, and then I familiarised myself with the terms and memorised the entire script! Hahah.. So there you go.. Paiseh.. Both of you think too highly of me..

Star: I also want you to tell stories.. Need to learn from you..

QQ: I can't open any attachment files.. Something is wrong with my pc but I don't know how to solve it.. Pls copy and paste into the email itself and resend to me.. Thanks..
 
QQ, now i rmbr there was an article abt this foreign student who was kind of notti in sch. so the teacher made a statue of him and plc in the sch for everyone to see. They thought that by doing so the boy will chg his attitude and behavoir. But things turned out otherwise...the boy's parents felt humiliated cos they weren't informed abt this action fr the sch. Eventually they withdrawed the boy fr that particular sch.

if the teachers hv informed or discussed this wif the parents beforehand, i believe it will be a win-win for both parties. maybe the boy will become more guai in sch, teachers can no need to 'tao tia' in teaching him and more assurance for the parents dat their kid is in the gd hands of the teachers in sch.


Bian's case was oso the teacher's inappropriate approach. U r rgt, he likes to tok and if dun let him tok then its kind of a punishment. Y stop a kid fr expressing himself when he wants or he is enjoying it? sigh, are we parents asking too much or we are not being understding enuff fr a teacher's pt of view?


Wher's Edde??? pls give ur views!! :p
 
BBMar: I didn't follow the story. Why did his teacher stop him from talking? Anna's teachers sometimes tell me when they ask questions and anna puts up her hand to provide the answer, that at times they'll tell her to give other children a chance. I respect their decision.
 
Bb, I think when they are older, pri school, sec school, rules can come in more appropriately, now too young le,must manage well.
 
AAA, the tchrs stopped him fr toking cos he wants to answers all the qns. And they felt that they needed to give other kids a chance to ans(this i understd). His tchr told me eventually they ignored him...so he became restless and not focused in class. We knew abt it when he told mil dat tchr dun wanna tok to him and he fussed abt not gg to sch.

The part of the tchrs ignoring him is not acceptable fr a parent's view. Why didnt they think of other ways to improve the situation? Why they choose to ignore my boy who is a keen learner in class?

i felt sense of anger and disappointment after the tok wif the teacher.more determined to chg sch for him. i cant say i made the rgt decision to send him to glory yet...but for now, i can see he is happier cos he comes hm and share abt the happenings in sch. Not like the 1-2mths spent in pcf, he nvr spoke abt sch at all!!
 
Bb march I just finished reading :p I dunno what to say *like TPL :p* coz I am guilty of punishing my gals inappropriately too hhaahhahahahaha!!!

I feel that trs here are too tired and juggling tok many things, hence they always seek the easiest way out.. Naughty? Punish! End of story. Frankly I hate trs who take teaching as a job, teach with no heart.

For ej's case if it were me I will bring up the topic casually when fetching the kids, and find out what exactly happened and let the tr know EJ's reaction aft the incident and see what the tr has to comment.

And at the same time observe EJ again.. If he is still "traumatized" aft a while, I will seriously consider pulling him out..
 
QQ,
I feel like crying after reading your post. I m such a bad mother. Cos my initial reaction when EJ says he doesn't want to go school was to scold him! But luckily I managed to hold back n not react in anger. I wanted to scold him because I thought he was at fault already n still want to Siam.
sad.gif


I didn't take into consideration the fear/hurt of standing in the Principal's office.

Just now hb told me he spoke to another teacher (not EJ's form teacher). Cos their school is small so the few teachers know every child. Then this Tr said that EJ is more advanced than other kids in his class. So I m thinking, does it mean he is bored? But being bored is no excuse to misbehave.

Anyway hb ask me to speak to his form teacher later when I go pick them. The form teacher is actually a very young girl of 21yrs. Hb said he ever heard the way she scold is high pitch n fierce. I actually found her young n bubbly, which I thought was good (not old n boring). But maybe too young also not steady enough?

Edde,
I think now I m the traumatised one. Ha!
 
Autumn, me too emphatised EJ more. I feel generally they are young and school is more or less a play place to them since they are not in formal academic system yet. So if he said he dun like school i will interpreate it as he dun like his play place where his frens and tr is. If EJ is more advance then the rest of the class. Can he join the K1 children on some lesson? I was told that Gwyen is more advanced than the rest so she is taken out from her class to join Clyde's for some lesson.
Dun think too negatively about EJ misbehaviour. Cant be he is the naughtiest among his classmate rite?
 
tian was punished before, in PT. but the teacher did tell me (after the incident la). tian managed it well, and they did it well, not too bad.. i must give the teacher the credit.
too bad, this good teacher just left PT not long ago. hope the new one is good too.

Tian refused to join concert item cause she kept wanting to dance and sing the song she wanted. she kept requesting until teacher fed up. teacher was teaching them new item le. so they put tian sit one side, told her that everyone learning new item, if she doesn't want then she can sit there and watch. they cannot compromise because of JUST HER,. tian sat there for 2-3 days i think. finally she told teacher she wanna join the new item with other friends.
i din know about this until PTM last year.

so i think tian has grown up quite a bit in this aspect.

Autum, dun feel sad. it is small matter...
take it easy and solve it.
 
Autum,
Our kids are mar babies, most are more advance than their peers. For youung kids it's very important that they like the teacher and the teacher likes them. If they feel the teacher dun like them, it will affect them and they will drag going to school. School is a fun and nice way.
I think his teacher is too young and inexperience. Maybe you should talk to the teacher, ask the teacher how is EJ in sch etc.
 
Autum,
ya, don't have to feel sad. It happens everywhere, all the time. Good teachers should know how to engage advanced kids that feel bored. Reyden's chinese teacher does that very well which I think it's the reason why he don't "complain" much about school nowadays. He likes that teacher and he gets to learn more during chinese lessons.

On the other hand, I also made him understand that when his form teacher punishes him (all the time), it's cos of his own doings. Like you said, being bored is not an excuse to misbehave. He accepts that too.

You can see if the teacher will change her ways after talking to her. You will need to talk to EJ too. If things still persist, then you might really want to consider changing a school.
 
Autum, really no harm talking to teacher, i alwasy believe in parent teacher working closely together esp at our kids age, too young and sometimes, cant tell us properly. i want to talk to teacher cos i want to be involve in her development in school. if there is any misbehaviour, i want to know so i can see how to assist and teach at home. Dun view this as a complain session and if really EJ is notti, maybe take this chance to see why he is reacting this way.

AA: aiyo, my reading is not fantastic lah.. haha.
 
RR: actually its 26th.. but bb a bit big will induce by this weekend. anyway i have been having mild tummy ache since yesterday.. dunno if its the onset of contraction leh! i also confused.
 
HN: What you said is so true.. I hope it's true.. Anna is also very advanced, but not Ayden (sep baby).. Although academically they are only 1 year apart, I could tell a BIG difference between them.. *sigh*

Star: That could be braxton hicks.. Good that you're taking a break before meimei comes along.. Rest a bit first..
happy.gif
 
AAA not BH, cos i have been getting on and off BH, this is like reg tummy ache and its not going off, having it since yesterday and whole of today.

Today Starbucks having half price for frappes.. hahah I tompang my colleague for a cup... heheh
 
star, jia you!

edde, i also discpline tian and kind of abuse liao. but i thinkt here is a different between teachers and parents also. the expectations and limits are diff.
happy.gif


Huingee, u are so right. so u can see that esther was kind of disadvantaged last time, as compared to Dylan right? experience is experience.
i was just telling SQ that my ah will is like a 6 months old bb.. still have moro reflex la. haha! put him in water and he enjoyed so much.
last time ah tian already so chao lao and at 7th month go swimming also phobia and cry. bathing ok.

maybe boys and girls really diff a lot.
 
not a spam. just share this as my fren sent to me.

"VERY important/ Let your kids know
Please take time to read!! Very important!!! tell your sons/daughters about it


A well known family in Mequon lost their 25 year old son (Arun Gopal Ratnam) in a fire at home June 4th.

This is what happened. He graduated with MBA from University of Wisconsin-Madison two weeks earlier and came home. Had a lunch with his dad at home and decided to go back to clean up his room at school. Father told him to wait and see his mother before he goes back for a few days.

He decided to take a nap while waiting for his mom to come home from work. Neighbors called 911 when they saw black smoke coming out of the house. Their 25 year old son Arun died in the three year old house. It took several days of investigation to find out the cause of the fire.

It was determined that the fire was caused by lap top on the bed.
When the laptop is on the bed cooling fan does not get air to cool the computer and that is what caused the fire.

Uneven surface of the bedsheet has blocked the air intake vent below the cpu fan. When the laptop is placed on a flat surface i.e. on desk/table, there is a gap between the desk surface and the base of the casing to allow air to flow/suck in through the air intake vent by the cpu fan to cool the cpu. This paragraph is added in by sender for better understanding of the senerio.
He did not even wake up to get out of the bed he died of carbon monoxide (CO).
The reason I'm writing this to all of you is that I have seen all of us using our laptop in bed. Let us all decide and make it a practice not to do that. Risk is real. Let us make it a rule not to use laptop in bed or put computer on bed with blankets and pillows around.

"
 
RR: yeah last day at work today.. but everyone treating me like This is "not" my last day at work.. i am still working as per normal!! crazy right!
 
AAA, QQ,
But this gap in only in preschool years. When they reach around 5 and above all will be about the same development I think.
Esther is year end baby, hence when she is in N1 or N2 she is much slower. But when she is in K2, progress report finally can see those above expectations rather than meet expectations.

Hence not too worry too much.
 
HN: I hope so.. Ayden's concentration power is also not as good as Anna's.. Let's see what his teachers say when I go to their PTC sessions..

Star: Am excited for you.. These days when I see NB, I feel like baobao them.. My meimei is growing into a toddler leh, she's able to down the stairs holding onto our hands ler, she's no longer a bb, for a long time in my life, I have no bb to baobao ler.. :p
 
Huignee, i have been eating non stop since the weekend!
Sat - we went sizzler for steak (Cos i needed the iron)
Sun - Belated Mothers' day celebration at Crystal Jade
Today - Indian restaurant with my colleague for lunch
and now a Starbucks!!!

AAA: hahah u can go for #4! actually u sound like my GF, she gets preggy cos she wants a baby!.. hahah
 
Star: No lah.. I'm content just carrying other people's NBs.. Baobao and sayang a while, feel shiok and then return to the owner... Heheh..
happy.gif


Wah! You're really going on a feast. Good good.. Eat whatever you feel like now, cos after delivering bb, you have to watch what u eat, cos you'll be bf-ing..
 
AAA, i am not good at carrying babies de. so i v scare when i go baobao babies. i like to see their faces and kacau them.
happy.gif

i think hor, this SQ can bao bao babies v well.
happy.gif
haha!!

so u can go for # 4.
 
Autum: Hey, just saw your dangdang orders.. Can help give me the titles? I actually need the titles to do my excel spreadsheet.. I'm afraid after you everyone will follow suit and just give me the links, without the titles.. Thank thanks..
 
me too... feel like carrying bb again. but dun think will want a #3. maybe get a godchild. comparatively Gwyen is more advanced that Clyde. sighh... dunno wat to do with Clyde academically. very often i resort to threat. i ever use pool que to instil fear in him. sighh... bad mommy.
 
sighh... i feel it is really depending on what i take during my pregnancy. For Clyde, i din take any fish oil but for Gwyen i did during the preg. perhaps thats explain the difference.
Cos she is smarter i tend to pay less attention on her academically. Hb said i should not and instead should tap on her ability. I wish i am an octopus.
 

Germaine,
don't feel bad. At least you get to focus on 1. I didn't get to focus on any. It had always been 1/2 of the attention they are getting.
 
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