HN, Pax, SQ: Thanks for consoling me.
Most times I manage, but I doubt and question myself all the time.. I find myself falling short of my own expectation each time. Have I asked Anna if I'm a good mum? Sure I have. Many times in fact. Til I tell myself it's neither healthy or sensible to ask anymore. Yet, in my desperation for some affirmation, I still ask.. On very bad days, I'm convinced they will become better people without any inputs from me.. Instead of adding to their lives, there are times I regret to say my bad influence may subtract from them.. Yet, I find myself repeating these same actions again and again, knowingly.. Like a moth flying towards the fire..
Do u sometimes imagine a life without kids? I do. Like some of our friends without kids, who yearn to have kids! The ironies of life.
Actually my hubby is amazing. He bathed the kids, fed them, coaxed them endlessly and played silly games with them. And while I never fail to get angry with them for misbehaving (although I know that all kids misbehave), he seemed to enjoy himself with them. So he definitely passed the test. I'm the one who flunged..
Help! I can't be a parent!
Maybe I'm comparing myself with him and I shouldn't? Hmm..
Star: We stayed at Hotel Equatorial. Booked the Club Room. There is a 3-seater sofa in the room which we pushed next to the bed, threw over a blanket and ayden slept there. They were both fighting to sleep there in fact.
There're so many singaporeans there. We saw this group wearing an orange tee taking a group photo at the hotel lobby, we thot it was some class or association outing. Then on closer look, the slogan says, "This is not a class, this is a family outing!" The group was at least 30 in size! Very amazing..
SQ: We decided Malacca is safe cos we can always drive home if necessary. In fact, on the second day, we thought of forfeiting the nite's stay and just come straight home.. Ha!
In all honesty, I think we managed ok. No one "died" ( I quote
) or got hurt. But if you ask individually (from Anna to my hubby) if we enjoyed ourselves, then the answer is not a resounding "yes" wor..