(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs

astro, lol. I wan to laugh at your conversation. I can imagine how your face now. (very black) lol. Hmm, i don know how ur hb usually work. I mean hours. Guess is your hormones is acting. Lol. Seriously speaking, or is it some influence from here? U see ah, like me, u all can see nick treat me well, we are happy family. So u will think y miser can be like that too. U hope he will make a effort to come back early to have dinner with u. (sorry, no offence. Cos sometime i also will compare here with nick. Lol.
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astro,
it's a very delicate and difficult situation. your hb is approaching it from a very rational and logical point of view. to him, throwing food away is less stressful then needing to 'report' home. So if throwing food away can allow him to no need to report, he feels that is a wise and rational option.

Of course, he totally misses your point of you wanting him to come home early or at least bother to inform.. that is the delicate part. that I cannot comment leh. you definitely have the right to feel upset cos he has totally missed your point. Perhaps you can try to talk to him again to try to let him see your point?
 
astro: cool down... guys at work can't be disturbed one.. u set him an alarm? does it say:" working late dear? inform me if so... else i'll miss u"... wahahaha... sounds good?

my gal don't like corns lei... will suck the juice then pui the skin... she's very lazy in terms of food... at one stage so fond of meat and eggs... now i'm lost wat she likes...she'll pui the moment i sneak in some meat..maybe plain porridge...
 
Astro: Hey, since he doesn't call, why don't you call him and ask instead? That conversation you had could take place between hubby and I too (except for the topic lah).. And it'll always end with a demand from me something like "come and sayang me!" pouting... Wahahahah!!!
 
ON is here... me go sort out first...hb saw already shake head again... but then says... "I want to buy Oakley lei".. faintzz..
 
CK: trying..

yvonne: maybe i am comparing.. but this issue has always been there even before i am preggy or i met u all (forum)

autum: u got my pt.. on ur second paragraph.. i dun want to talk.. at least not now.. i can't believe Miser can say something like that.. he is not in a happy mood.. so am i..

swmom: never disturb him at all.. trying to remind in the least intrusive manner.. seems like it is not working.. so now. dun even have to call home. great.. excellent, fine..
 
AA: i been doing that for ages.. and i dun like it. coz i am not like that.. as much as i try to understand, and accept..
when we both cool down.. i am going to ask him this question..
'does that mean.. i can go out with my frens all night long.. and dun inform u? how would u feel?'

not going to do that.. though i always do make the first move to appease him. i am too upset with him now.
 
astro: to them, stopping to call is a chore... actually when i work late hor... I'm usually rushing and also can't tolerate my hb calling me to chk status or be bothered to call back cos i'm already rushing and calling, etc wld delay me fm going back earlier.....
 
Astro: You're in a bad mood now. So best to just step away first.. Am sure your miser doesn't mean it that way.. Yes, you shd bring it up when you'e both cooled down like over the weekend or something.. For me, i won't like having the alarm you know? Cos it makes me feel I'm under a curfew, like a prisoner on house arrest or something..
 
swmom: i understand where u are coming from.. coz i am also like that. i am irritated by my mum who loves to call me last time to ask me what time am i going home.. when i always go home about the same time.. SO i dun do that to miser.. in fact i dun call him.. i hardly sms him.. except what time he will be back..coz these days.. we cook dinner.. so should i be waiting for him to have dinner ? (or maybe he does enjoy the feeeling of coming home and having dinner by HIMSELF and i surfing away on forum??!! maybe.. who knows? he is weird..)

If i need to rush.. and i dun like pple rushing me.. then it is my duty to at least inform (and not wait for pple to call/sms then I tell).. i am a person who takes my intiative.. this pt.. miser has to learn.. take the intiative.. and the world is a better place.

the last time i talk t ohim.. he was laughing over my suggestion to set an alarm in his phone.. then he commented he likes me to call him.. coz it makes him feel loved to have someone hurrying him for dinner? (What crap.. ) and now he says it is stressful ? wah.. what a logical man..
 
AA: if he can remember.. he doesn't need an alarm.. that is the least intrusive thing i can think of.. for the moment.. not the most ideal.. certainly..
enjoy ur prata.
 
astro, hmm, did u ask him wad is he busy with? At least if u know he is too busy to call back? Nick was once like this before. So i told him straight. If continue like this, our relationship will have communication breakdown. Which is no good to a married couple.
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u can just tell miser? I think he should understand u. He is mature enough.
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sometime men just don understand y women react this way la. Just like the book mars and venus explains.
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don angry already ok.
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Yvonne: troubleshooting his machines and making his programme codes work..catering to demanding clients who wants instant support ..
what u suggested me to tell him. i have already told him.. long long ago.. he understands why i am frustrated.. but he has no solutions to it.. so i think of a solution for him.. but it is still not the best solution.. then he tells me he is stressed.. 'if i can throw away $5 (for a dinner) to solve my problem.. i will throw away that $5)..
what he told me just now..
can. throw away the wife as well.. since the wife gives him more than $5 worth of trouble and stress....
 
QQ told me last night.. Miser is a good man. who works hard to support the family.. gets me a maid etc.. and make sure the family is stable and can function.. i appreciate all that..but someething which matters more to me is lacking..

ok sorry ladies.. dun let me hog the conversation..

good night..
 
astro, oh! Hmm, tell u wad. He is a workaholic. So, there is no way to can make his butt move. Ask him to reschedule his work. He got a family now. No longer couple.
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can? Nick only move his butt when bel is more attached to him. He feel the family need him. So must come back early to have family time.
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if not, i think he will still be going fishing now.
 
astro, ai ya, forum is here for us to share our sorrows and happiness ma(don know m i saying the correct meaning anot. Pls don laugh if i wrong. Lol.) no worries if u hog the conversation.
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we are all here to give solution or any advise u think can work.
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harlow

astro
men r like that. some men think that jus providing the essentials is enuf. but they dun u/stand women need emotional support. dun worry. we r here for ur emotional support.
mr pax also like to throw the line abt throwing away $5. i dun care lor. i jus dun cook his share. u can do that lah.
also ur hormones also acting up. men dun u/stand this part lor. jus got to ride over...
 
pax: still lurking around.. thinking of how to solve the problem lah.. *sigh*
how are u.. and ur family's flu?

yvonne: Miser's work is not like Nick.. flexible.. his is rigid.. just like the person.
 
astro: i feel u need to develop "need"... miser needs to feel that he "NEED" to call back to inform... for eg.. me used to work late, but as now I NEED to pick Sylvia, I can't work later than 6.30pm. HB also used to have rubber timing at work, now that he NEEDS to pick us, he knocks off at 5.30pm... so NEED is very impt concept...
 
astro,
I least you can reach miser. You know he is in the office.
My hb i don't even know where he is cos he is at customer's place. I called him, he don't answer my call. Sometimes cannot reach him for a few hours. Even if i managed to reach him, he will said he will call back back, he busy. But he don't call me back. Always don't remember he need to call me back.
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Miser work is real busy bah. At least he don't work in weekends?
My hb weekday will work late, some weekend need to work too.
 
astro
i'm ok. still sniffing a little, slight cough. mr pax is coughing. the kids jus saw Dr Ong yday. M got blocked nose. Jo caught another bug - sore throat, coughing, VV VV bad nose.
thks for asking
 
swmom: yes. u have a pt.. there is no 'need' for him to call back.. everything in the house is taken care of by me (and ellie). teng is in bed by 730pm. dinner is cooked (and $5 is no big deal to him as we already know)..even if teng goes haywired.. there is no 'need' for him coz i can resolve everything.. wah suddenly i feel i am FANTASTIC and am a super woman. i am THAT good.. that my hb doesn't feel a 'need' for him in this home..
so yes.. there is 'no need' for him to call back.. coz he doesn't 'need' company and support.. unlike me.. (like what pax and autm said)..
 
astro
hmm..miser is right tat his job is different from yours, so u wont be able to understand what he is going thru.

i cant really advise bcos my situation might be worse. mr tan came back at 4am for the past many weeks. during weekdays, we dun have meals together. we never call each other to report. i learnt not to bother him. with leia, there's someone i look forward to seeing after work, so i dun care about him liao.

when i complained, he said he didnt choose to work so hard, he wish to switch role with me. he didnt have a choice.

i know what he's busy about, but i cant help feeling upset at times. i dun have a choice too. i have to be supportive.
 
huingee: nope.. my situation is exactly same as urs.. except that miser will answer my call.. mutter monosyllabus replies. and i get the hint liao and i hang up.
weekends.. he does work at times.. when he has 'over-flowing' work..
i am trying my best to be UNDERSTANDING liao..

pax: i think weather all haywired.. i am also coughing non-stop.. delveopig TB liao lah.. dying liao.. then miser dun need to call back liao (hmpf).. great wor.. anyway. on cough syrup prescribed by eunice chua..
 
pink: ya. i get ur situation.. but u have one pt which i wld love to have.. be in the know..

why is he busy with?
what projects is taking up so much of his time?
why does he have to work late?
all these questions.. i asked. and demonstrated an interest to find out. but there's only as much as he can tell me.. or will tell me..

I remembered saying. i need to understand then i can accpt.. then two frens offered the perspective that i must accept than i can understand.. i tried.. but it didn't work out for me.. i need to be convinced, i think..

miser tells me the same thing as what Mr Tan told u.. but i beg to differ with that just becoz i am not in the same line of work, i cannot understand what he is experiencing..

no wor.. when i was a SAHM.. i was very very bad.. but when i got back to work. it dawned on me why miser is so tired after work. no mood to talk etc.. coz i am also like that.. to assume that MOE pple wun never be able to understand is very wrong.. all jobs fight fire.. it is a matter of when and what kind of fire.. so his reason.. does not stand with me..

Miesr wants me to think right? hmm. maybe he shouldn't request that. coz when i DO think.. he finds it hard to retort me.. most of the time, i love him.. so i dun argue with him.. maybe he hasn't realise that..
 
astro,
When they are busy is like this. If you are preparing a report or someting that need to concentrate maybe you also dun want any disturb.
But i more fan, will call every hour to ask is he coming back cos he always tell me coming back soon.
Last time my dad cos he is driving, no hp, pager. So he will make a point to call me mum twice everyday.
 
astro: i mean he doesn't SEE the need cos he's so insensitive to it.. aiya... i better not cos more anger in u... i go zzz liao...sorry for not helping u feel better but made things worst... ignore my post ok..
 
huingee: so my pt to miser.. 'why do u have to wait till u are busy. then u call??..schedule ur work properly.. do the urgent work in the morning.. and leave the evening slightly freeier? '

he said he can't.. he said I did programming before wor. and so i should know debuging programme codes is not easy wor.. well. i do know that.. but i also know.. i run the coder. saw so many bugs.. i have some reaction time.. of at least 1 minutes to go 'wah. so many errors.. better sms the woman at home lest she yells'..
 
swmom: either way. no need or insensitive. is the same. no worries. i am very upset and angry liao.. u didn't say anything wrong..goodnght...
 
astro,
Ya loh, what pax said it's true. Mmm, when we bad mood we cannot accept. When we busy too busy to bother.
Also men cannot get hint, must tell them straight in the face you not happy and what you want.
 
pax: me lah. who else? :S
i read that book umpteen times liao. know it inside out.. if i accept.. then miser should also accpet. if i accomodate.. then maybe he should also..i have strong aquarian/libra in me.. value fairness.. he shares the same signs.. so he knows what i am talking about .. coz he uses the same reasoning process as i do.. just thati am more emotional lah. that man 'devoid of emotions' coz he doesn't have a single water element in his astrological makeup.. (hmpf)

i am still inside. he is still outside.. (just now before dinner and the tiff.. he asks me why not come into study room).. fine lor.. this cold war going to last again. till i make the first move.. as usual lah. what's new?
 
huingee: told liao. see what happened?
i dun even hint liao.. i just tell him.. and suggest hp alarm (ok. this is not most ideal..i know).. so mens from mars and women from venus right? and men dun like women to solve their problems for them right? then miser has to solve this problem.. but intersetingly. he doesn't see this as a probelm..
 
astro
as much as we women recognise all the trait diff betw men n women, men even if they know, they will DEFINITELY choose to ignore at times when they r bz n focus on the job at hand.
to be honest, when i'm focus, bz w my work on hand, i won't even bother to talk to mr pax. i'll jus tell him bz, call back later.
 
astro
he's ur hubby, so u have to trust him on what he's busy with.
tho i know wat he busy with, it doesnt help to make me feel better, im also human, will feel upset too. must learn to deal with the negative feelings lor.

and fighting doesnt help to improve the situation. maybe can try soft method. 2 days back i told him he cannot just work and forget abt leia and me at home, told him once and gave sad face, last nite he automatically came back earlier at 11am...hahhaa 11am is considered early ok
 
pax: understood.. same will me.. me worse. i dun even answer my hp!
so... am i worse than miser? (hey. i am just thinking aloud.. i am not running u down.. dun be mistaken hor
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pink: hard and soft methods all try liao. hence i frustrated lor.. and what is funnier. he likes and appreciates the fact that i have teng on a stable routine.. to him. ok if he doesn't seem his son (awake) for more than 30 minutes (in the morning)! i am SERIOUS..

11am or 11pm?


guess what. i think ah.. he needs something SERIOUS or major to wake him up.. but i am still grounded and sane not to create SERIOUS/Major to wake him up..
 
astro
yes, miser dun see this as a problem, so he won't bother to respond. u got to make it a problem for him. like coming home (no matter wat time, early or late) n no dinner for him. soon enuf (hopefully) n see it a problem. bcos he will come home hungry, no dinner, then hv to go out again to get dinner. stupid right? u hv to create the problem for him to realise it's a problem lor. jus take the easy way for now, stop preparing his share of dinner!
 
pink
u mean 11pm right? :p

pink, astro
to be frank, it's better to know they are at work n not anywhere else lah. ok? be thankful lor.
 


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