astro, thats what i do for lunch and dinner. i put 2 dining chairs face to face and make her sit in front of me, no other things to distract her. end up she will clamp her mouth after a few mouthful and gets more interested in standing up in the chair. when i stop her, she cries or ignore me. nowadays positive reinforcement also doesnt work 100%.
(2007/03) March 2007 MTBs
- Thread starter rae_cheong
- Start date
edde,
Ha, I have long ago given up on no distraction feeding. As long as she stay in her seat I'm fine. So I'll on the TV, play her VCD and feed her. If she get overly distracted and don't open her mouth, I'll threaten to switch off the TV. Recently trying to wean her off watching TV while drinking milk so now at least the first milk of the day she can drink without TV.
Ha, I have long ago given up on no distraction feeding. As long as she stay in her seat I'm fine. So I'll on the TV, play her VCD and feed her. If she get overly distracted and don't open her mouth, I'll threaten to switch off the TV. Recently trying to wean her off watching TV while drinking milk so now at least the first milk of the day she can drink without TV.
YY,
Then you must tell him your expectations. Cuz PIL having different expections for their kids therefore utterly different reactions. But I suspect that my FIL wasn't really paying enough attention then therefore did not realise that his wife have sent his son in to be chastised and not praised. Haha.
Then you must tell him your expectations. Cuz PIL having different expections for their kids therefore utterly different reactions. But I suspect that my FIL wasn't really paying enough attention then therefore did not realise that his wife have sent his son in to be chastised and not praised. Haha.
autum: i think. u dun have to 'worry' about the signals u are sending. AS LONG AS u are not stopping ur hb in front of EJ (and next time EV).. coz it shows very obviously to the kids.. las ttime in teaching. wah liew.. i see father and mother scolding one aonther in front of an errant child.. the boy was laughing.. and i was like 'omg. aren't we here to talk about the boy ah?'.. then i came back and discussed with miser this issue. that wasbefore i had teng.. but i forgot my conclusion liao..
what i meant is. EJ can continue to 'fear' u.. and if u can support ur hb (either talk him round to stop force feeding.. or u accept hat he will make EJ cry and IGNORE it).. the two of u are actually more potent parents.. coz both of u are united.. erm.. get what i mean?
i think my stand to miser.. is clear.. even if i am wrong.. dun stop me in front of teng.. tell me afte rthat. i will take that better.. and knowing miser very well.. i wun dare to stop him if he wants to discipline teng.. i more than happy.. coz it means.. teng must be very notti to invoke the anger in miser liao
what i meant is. EJ can continue to 'fear' u.. and if u can support ur hb (either talk him round to stop force feeding.. or u accept hat he will make EJ cry and IGNORE it).. the two of u are actually more potent parents.. coz both of u are united.. erm.. get what i mean?
i think my stand to miser.. is clear.. even if i am wrong.. dun stop me in front of teng.. tell me afte rthat. i will take that better.. and knowing miser very well.. i wun dare to stop him if he wants to discipline teng.. i more than happy.. coz it means.. teng must be very notti to invoke the anger in miser liao
Astro,
ya, i m the disciplinarian. but then i always also give EJ the impression that his Papa will agree with me. for eg, after I scold him, i will say something like "when Papa comes home, I will tell Papa". my intention is to let him know that Papa is on MY side! wahahahahah..
but this is part of the consistency thing. I don't wait for Papa to come home to scold him.. that is too late liao.. but by saying that, I also want Papa to be a part of his life. And yes, when HB comes home, i make it a point to tell him. Actually we are both quite consistent so far.. it's only eating that we are not that agreeable!
ya, i m the disciplinarian. but then i always also give EJ the impression that his Papa will agree with me. for eg, after I scold him, i will say something like "when Papa comes home, I will tell Papa". my intention is to let him know that Papa is on MY side! wahahahahah..
but this is part of the consistency thing. I don't wait for Papa to come home to scold him.. that is too late liao.. but by saying that, I also want Papa to be a part of his life. And yes, when HB comes home, i make it a point to tell him. Actually we are both quite consistent so far.. it's only eating that we are not that agreeable!
mejo: i am imagining my response to the situation
i have learned.. as a teacher.. not to relinqisuh my control and direct my handling of the child to someone else.. unless i give up on the child.(i just did that.. to my president of my IG *haiz* i give up on him liao)..
so i wun do that as a parent even more.. not with my children lah.. miser and me, our expectations are quite aligned..except when it comes to feeding teng outside food.. sometimes i thin miser wants to 'poison' teng..
i have learned.. as a teacher.. not to relinqisuh my control and direct my handling of the child to someone else.. unless i give up on the child.(i just did that.. to my president of my IG *haiz* i give up on him liao)..
so i wun do that as a parent even more.. not with my children lah.. miser and me, our expectations are quite aligned..except when it comes to feeding teng outside food.. sometimes i thin miser wants to 'poison' teng..
edde: anthea can self feed quite well.. let her self feed?
ellie can reall coax teng to eat.. coz teng wants to feed his frens.. so what ellie does is to bring two of teng's 'best frens'.. always Nana and toothy.. and then teng will feed them, and then feed himself.. if ellie feeds him. he shakes his head..! :S also dunno lah. this boy got so many patterns.. sometimes i feel.. he likes soft toys too much for a boy!! today i saw him rush towards the bear making store in sun tec.. then i told miser. 'where got boy like teddy bears so much one?!'.. then miser just laughed lor.. and said 'ur son lor'.. kaoz..
ellie can reall coax teng to eat.. coz teng wants to feed his frens.. so what ellie does is to bring two of teng's 'best frens'.. always Nana and toothy.. and then teng will feed them, and then feed himself.. if ellie feeds him. he shakes his head..! :S also dunno lah. this boy got so many patterns.. sometimes i feel.. he likes soft toys too much for a boy!! today i saw him rush towards the bear making store in sun tec.. then i told miser. 'where got boy like teddy bears so much one?!'.. then miser just laughed lor.. and said 'ur son lor'.. kaoz..
YY,
Haha, it is true, I can't imagine you sending Teng to be chastised by Miser. But of cuz hb is my MIL's fave child and he is obviously more afraid of his father than his mom then. I think that was a rare occasion rather than a normal situation since back in my PIL's time, the men do work and the women mind the children, period. Somemore they do the work at home so my MIL have been instructed by her MIL not to disturb the men.
Haha, it is true, I can't imagine you sending Teng to be chastised by Miser. But of cuz hb is my MIL's fave child and he is obviously more afraid of his father than his mom then. I think that was a rare occasion rather than a normal situation since back in my PIL's time, the men do work and the women mind the children, period. Somemore they do the work at home so my MIL have been instructed by her MIL not to disturb the men.
astro, all yr methods tried and tested. let her self feed, she feeds herself a few spoonful then will start playing with the food/stop feeding/only wants to stand up in the chair. ask her to feed toys then herself, she is simply uninterested.
hard nut to crack lah this gal.
teng like soft toys ok mah.. i think at this stage they dun really differentiate gals and boys toys rite?? only the parents do heehee.. last time my younger bro likes to wear my skirts! my mum was so worried that he becomes ah gua.. haha!
teng like soft toys ok mah.. i think at this stage they dun really differentiate gals and boys toys rite?? only the parents do heehee.. last time my younger bro likes to wear my skirts! my mum was so worried that he becomes ah gua.. haha!
astro, shld not argue over methods of teaching in front of kid, coz i always "scold" hb in front of her. shld not "relinqisuh my control and direct my handling of the child to someone else" coz when i am too fed up feeding her and feel that i am going to bao4 xue3 guan3, i will let hb take over. but wat u said makes sense.. i will be more mindful next time
but wat u said makes sense.. i will be more mindful next time
mejo: if i ignore teng and lets miser do that handling.. it means teng must have committed murder or equivenlent liao ha
edde: oh.. this thing about stanind in chair.. i got 'natural advantage'. coz teng is too plump!!!once he is seated in his high chair.. he cannot stand up liao!! hahaha. coz today. i saw how fleixble YE is.. can fold her leg up towards her while seated in high chair.. i told miser.. miser just laughed.. 'like that good.. teng's LOCKED' into place whenever he is in high chair'.. hahah. quite true
how come anthea likes to stand up in high chair leh??
ha.. yalor. think i differentitate teng. ha. coz he sooo meek.. i worry about his orientation.. hahahhaha today. he kept passing toys to YE to play during meal times.. then when at QQ's house.. tian could get along with teng..coz teng never disturbs her one.. then today.. wah liew.. Teng lined up to match the cards.. he stood there quietly. the stand in teacher totally didn't see him! he was the last to takethe card. no time to match at all.. and the teacher said' second card for u?' *fainted*
well well well..:S
SQ and star fell asleep liao?
ha
edde: oh.. this thing about stanind in chair.. i got 'natural advantage'. coz teng is too plump!!!once he is seated in his high chair.. he cannot stand up liao!! hahaha. coz today. i saw how fleixble YE is.. can fold her leg up towards her while seated in high chair.. i told miser.. miser just laughed.. 'like that good.. teng's LOCKED' into place whenever he is in high chair'.. hahah. quite true
how come anthea likes to stand up in high chair leh??
ha.. yalor. think i differentitate teng. ha. coz he sooo meek.. i worry about his orientation.. hahahhaha
today. he kept passing toys to YE to play during meal times.. then when at QQ's house.. tian could get along with teng..coz teng never disturbs her one.. then today.. wah liew.. Teng lined up to match the cards.. he stood there quietly. the stand in teacher totally didn't see him! he was the last to takethe card. no time to match at all.. and the teacher said' second card for u?' *fainted* well well well..:S
SQ and star fell asleep liao?
edde:
hmmm.. for teng's feeding. either i feed him all the way.. or i dun step in to feed (on behalf of ellie/miser/mother) when teng fuss.I normally just tell them.. 'he doesn't want? ok. stop feeding.. forget it liao..). coz i dun want to do things which i am not confident in.. with regards to handling teng..
hmmm.. for teng's feeding. either i feed him all the way.. or i dun step in to feed (on behalf of ellie/miser/mother) when teng fuss.I normally just tell them.. 'he doesn't want? ok. stop feeding.. forget it liao..). coz i dun want to do things which i am not confident in.. with regards to handling teng..
Mejo: talking about the ikea high chair kind.. my prego high chair.. no front barrier.. so teng can 'stand' and arch his back if he really wants to reject his food.. i am suprised the chair hasn't given way under teng's weight! :S
today. teng told me.. in gug.. the chairs.. 'high chair'..:S i thought.. him. these are 'low chair' lah.. hahaha.. then he went low chair.. hahahah
today. teng told me.. in gug.. the chairs.. 'high chair'..:S i thought.. him. these are 'low chair' lah.. hahaha.. then he went low chair.. hahahah
edde, mejo, astro,
EJ also will stand up in his hi-chair when he doesn't want to eat anymore. yes, he can also unclip the lock. haha.. and recently he proceeds to climbing down the chair. oh well.. when that happens, i just stop feeding. this afternoon, i just told my maid, never to chase him around the house with his food. cos he climbed down, leaving some food uneaten in his bowl.. then maid tried to chase him around the house holding the bowl and spoon ladled with food. i told her to stop.
EJ also will stand up in his hi-chair when he doesn't want to eat anymore. yes, he can also unclip the lock. haha.. and recently he proceeds to climbing down the chair. oh well.. when that happens, i just stop feeding. this afternoon, i just told my maid, never to chase him around the house with his food. cos he climbed down, leaving some food uneaten in his bowl.. then maid tried to chase him around the house holding the bowl and spoon ladled with food. i told her to stop.
wiky
Active Member
YY,
haha, I understand what you meant by can't stand in high chairs. Reyes can do that but Reyden will always get one leg stuck so he can never try that stunt, haha!!!
Edde,
sometimes when RR don't eat, I'll cut fruits into small small pieces and put on top of each spoonful then they'll eat faster. I'm not sure whether it'll work for Anthea or not.
haha, I understand what you meant by can't stand in high chairs. Reyes can do that but Reyden will always get one leg stuck so he can never try that stunt, haha!!!
Edde,
sometimes when RR don't eat, I'll cut fruits into small small pieces and put on top of each spoonful then they'll eat faster. I'm not sure whether it'll work for Anthea or not.
RR: ^5!! u know what i mean
autum: but teng has this bad habit.. he cannot sit down and drink his bedtime milk properly one.. he will roam around.. then come back and drink his cup of milk. then roam again.. most of the time ellie canmake him sit down on the sofa an guai guai drink his bedtime milk.. think his dinner is veryfull.. he seldom finish his bed time milk..
that is the most 'jialat' meal of the day to 'feed'..
autum: but teng has this bad habit.. he cannot sit down and drink his bedtime milk properly one.. he will roam around.. then come back and drink his cup of milk. then roam again.. most of the time ellie canmake him sit down on the sofa an guai guai drink his bedtime milk.. think his dinner is veryfull.. he seldom finish his bed time milk..
that is the most 'jialat' meal of the day to 'feed'..
mejo, astro, autum, yes u r rite, she can still stand up in the high chair!! everytime!!! but luckily she cant unbuckle. if i buckle her, she will scream and cry and twist her body in the chair.
autum, i am also against the idea of running aft the kid to feed her. i rather not feed her then.
RR, dats a great idea!! yes anthea loves fruit, i will try this tmr!
oh yes, i forgot to mention that anthea has this bad habit of gam2-ing her food in her mouth recently, like hamster. 1 mouthful can take very long to swallow. once i found a pc of carrot in her mouth hrs after her lunch!
today hb fed her 3 mouthfuls of porr each with a small pc of tau kwa. imagine aft the 3rd spoonful, she can spit out all 3 pcs of tau kwa, unchewed! meaning all the while she has been gam-ing them in her mouth!
autum, i am also against the idea of running aft the kid to feed her. i rather not feed her then.
RR, dats a great idea!! yes anthea loves fruit, i will try this tmr!
oh yes, i forgot to mention that anthea has this bad habit of gam2-ing her food in her mouth recently, like hamster. 1 mouthful can take very long to swallow. once i found a pc of carrot in her mouth hrs after her lunch!
today hb fed her 3 mouthfuls of porr each with a small pc of tau kwa. imagine aft the 3rd spoonful, she can spit out all 3 pcs of tau kwa, unchewed! meaning all the while she has been gam-ing them in her mouth!
wiky
Active Member
Wanna ask you all, do you think at our kids' age they know to stop when they are full?
My mum and hubby kept telling me they are just like goldfishes, won't know when to stop eating. We went for Sakura buffet just now and apparently the 2 kids had a good time stuffing themselves with chicken wings, nuggets, cakes, fruits, ice-cream after their meal. I got nagged at for taking more food for them.
They'll stop if they are really full, no?
My mum and hubby kept telling me they are just like goldfishes, won't know when to stop eating. We went for Sakura buffet just now and apparently the 2 kids had a good time stuffing themselves with chicken wings, nuggets, cakes, fruits, ice-cream after their meal. I got nagged at for taking more food for them.
Irin,
i m not using Ikea hi-chair. and hor, my hi-chair is not as high as the typical hi-chair. cos my hi-chair, can adjust height to the normal hi-chair height, or a lower height.. but problem is my chair is faulty. so it's permanently on the lower-height. the lower-height when EJ is seated is about the height of our normal adult chair. then because we usually place his hi-chair near the sofa, so now he knows how to climb over to the sofa first to come down!
Astro,
hmm, seems like if mummies here disagree with their hubbies, it's about feeding!
i m not using Ikea hi-chair.
and hor, my hi-chair is not as high as the typical hi-chair. cos my hi-chair, can adjust height to the normal hi-chair height, or a lower height.. but problem is my chair is faulty. so it's permanently on the lower-height. the lower-height when EJ is seated is about the height of our normal adult chair. then because we usually place his hi-chair near the sofa, so now he knows how to climb over to the sofa first to come down! Astro,
hmm, seems like if mummies here disagree with their hubbies, it's about feeding!
mejo/edde: hahahah. cute lah ur girls. so many patterns..
i always tell teng.. 'u keeping for supper?' if i see him giam his food.. most of the time, he replied 'yes!'.. ha! aiyoh..
autum: i think so.. at this point in time. nothing much to argue about except for feeding mah
i always tell teng.. 'u keeping for supper?' if i see him giam his food.. most of the time, he replied 'yes!'.. ha! aiyoh..
autum: i think so.. at this point in time. nothing much to argue about except for feeding mah
Astro: big boobs? hahah really ah.. i am scrutinising the pic now!! haha
edde: it was a really hot day, so we all wnet out in spag top, including her.. hahaha
RR: i dun face this problem where rae stuff herself silly with food. she usually will stop one.. quite predictable, cos i think she is not that interested in food. when she take a long time to finish something or gam in her mouth or offer to me, then i know she is full liao. most of the time she dun eat a lot. wha RR really know how to eat leh. but general rule, i try not to let her take too much fried stuff or ice cream.. but for ice cream, she takes damn little only, like 1 TBSP max!
edde: it was a really hot day, so we all wnet out in spag top, including her.. hahaha
RR: i dun face this problem where rae stuff herself silly with food. she usually will stop one.. quite predictable, cos i think she is not that interested in food. when she take a long time to finish something or gam in her mouth or offer to me, then i know she is full liao. most of the time she dun eat a lot. wha RR really know how to eat leh. but general rule, i try not to let her take too much fried stuff or ice cream.. but for ice cream, she takes damn little only, like 1 TBSP max!
star: ha. u go and look at ur second pic lor.. that angle.. who can blame me for thinking that way?!
pax: yalor.. teng can have enough of his own food. but stuff himself silly with our food. miser still happily feeding him.. i have to tell him.. 'whey got to stop liao'.. so these days.. we judge teng's full or not. by the size of his stomach as well .. hahaha
pax: yalor.. teng can have enough of his own food. but stuff himself silly with our food. miser still happily feeding him.. i have to tell him.. 'whey got to stop liao'.. so these days.. we judge teng's full or not. by the size of his stomach as well .. hahaha
wiky
Active Member
YY,
I believe so too cos usually I'm the one who feed them so I know how they'll be like if they are full.
Edde,
they were having all the junk food just now. Kids will always prefer junk food over normal food.
Autum,
my hubby will always tell me I'm overfeeding them. You won't believe what he did once when I asked him to feed them while I cooked. I happened to walk up to them from behind him and caught him eating their rice!! He still can tell me he thinks they are eating too much and he can finish feeding them faster this way. I never let him feed them ever since then!
I believe so too cos usually I'm the one who feed them so I know how they'll be like if they are full.
Edde,
they were having all the junk food just now. Kids will always prefer junk food over normal food.
Autum,
my hubby will always tell me I'm overfeeding them. You won't believe what he did once when I asked him to feed them while I cooked. I happened to walk up to them from behind him and caught him eating their rice!! He still can tell me he thinks they are eating too much and he can finish feeding them faster this way. I never let him feed them ever since then!