(2006/10) OCTOBER 2006 MTB
- Thread starter leetung
- Start date
I jsut seen all the kids photo.. beautiful!!!
Time to share mine!
MIA so long cause being SAHM so long and now i am back to work and came back from TW just last week.
Without kids and had wonderful precious time with hubby.
We have been quarreling too frequently so i initiated this trip and it did bond us closer and no more quarrels.
Good night mommies
The last 2 photos is she eating and laughing non-stop!
the last photo is hilarious hehehee..
Time to share mine!
MIA so long cause being SAHM so long and now i am back to work and came back from TW just last week.
Without kids and had wonderful precious time with hubby.
We have been quarreling too frequently so i initiated this trip and it did bond us closer and no more quarrels.
Good night mommies
The last 2 photos is she eating and laughing non-stop!
the last photo is hilarious hehehee..
crystallized
Active Member
Dear mummies
I am pleased to share with you all that I am now 13 weeks pregnant.
Sorry that I wasn't comfortable to share earlier despite some of u asking me coz this has not been a smooth pregnancy. It is still not 100% cleared yet coz I hv low placenta but yesterday's OSCAR test shows that baby is doing very well and thriving. So I would like to share this piece of good news. While we were talking about it the last few wks, I was so tempted to break the news....
MS has been very horrible. I have been vomitting non-stop since Week 6. Everyday, after almost every meal. No food agrees with me and I am so disgusted by looking at food. I make it a point 2 avoid food courts with strong food odours and simply cant tolerate it. In fact, I am very put off my scents/perfumes/facial products oso. I skipped my facial routine coz i cant stand the smell on my face. I am v selective abt using bathing/shampoo pdts oso. Other than tt, I tired easily and rest alot. Luckily my hb is capable of handling R and doing chores. My mum has been great! She insists on bringing our clothings back to wash, comes in to help me sweep/mop the floor. I am juz so thankful tt she's so near to me. Even though I would prefer not to bother my mum, at this stage, i am in no situation to decide. I need to accept help for me and baby.
In summary, nothing agrees with me. There has been a few spotting episodes and usually caused by my low placenta. I am pretty worried though gynae says it might move up as pregnancy progresses. The thing is there is nothing she can do for me, and nothing i can do to improve the situation. Juz wait and see how.
Hopefully everything stabilises soon coz I would really wanna enjoy my pregnancy. But no signs of MS slowly down.... when i had R, it only slowly eased away at 22 wks... gosh.... i am hoping tt i do not have to suffer till so long... Needless to say, lost weight... some colleagues asked me am i on a diet?
EDD's end Oct.
I am pleased to share with you all that I am now 13 weeks pregnant.
Sorry that I wasn't comfortable to share earlier despite some of u asking me coz this has not been a smooth pregnancy. It is still not 100% cleared yet coz I hv low placenta but yesterday's OSCAR test shows that baby is doing very well and thriving. So I would like to share this piece of good news. While we were talking about it the last few wks, I was so tempted to break the news....
MS has been very horrible. I have been vomitting non-stop since Week 6. Everyday, after almost every meal. No food agrees with me and I am so disgusted by looking at food. I make it a point 2 avoid food courts with strong food odours and simply cant tolerate it. In fact, I am very put off my scents/perfumes/facial products oso. I skipped my facial routine coz i cant stand the smell on my face. I am v selective abt using bathing/shampoo pdts oso. Other than tt, I tired easily and rest alot. Luckily my hb is capable of handling R and doing chores. My mum has been great! She insists on bringing our clothings back to wash, comes in to help me sweep/mop the floor. I am juz so thankful tt she's so near to me. Even though I would prefer not to bother my mum, at this stage, i am in no situation to decide. I need to accept help for me and baby.
In summary, nothing agrees with me. There has been a few spotting episodes and usually caused by my low placenta. I am pretty worried though gynae says it might move up as pregnancy progresses. The thing is there is nothing she can do for me, and nothing i can do to improve the situation. Juz wait and see how.
Hopefully everything stabilises soon coz I would really wanna enjoy my pregnancy. But no signs of MS slowly down.... when i had R, it only slowly eased away at 22 wks... gosh.... i am hoping tt i do not have to suffer till so long... Needless to say, lost weight... some colleagues asked me am i on a diet?
EDD's end Oct.
coralmarine
Active Member
Jackiejon, my EDD is this Sun, but still dont feel "it" yet...
Dor, will try to do the tutu today.
My hb likes the house to be clean and nice so he'lkl nag under his breath if it's not and I just feel it so unfair, then he'll say he's not nagging at me, just that he doesn't like untidy house. But hor, he'll procrastinate whenever I ask him to pack, so me the impatient one will end up doing most of the work. My hb though never touch some of the boxes for more than 5yrs, still refuse to let me throw them away.
jRt, CONGRATS! My preg also started with low placenta (1st and 3rd preg) and it moved up after 7mths, so just be patient ba. What you can do is not exert strength during this time cos low placenta bleeds more easily especially if you walk too much or exert strength. You're lucky to have help at home, actually I also let hb bath Char during the first 16wks of preg cos I can't tahan all fragrance. And I bought non-scented bath, shampoo, and facial wash for the entire family. But I was different from you. I forced myself to eat even though I'll puke after that. I still eat and puke and eat and puke. I hate to puke, but I think at leats I should be absorbing something in the process, so even though I losyt weight, it was only about a kg or so...And after 24wks then my weight shoot up cos MS was gone by then. But came back during 28wks but subside again after 30wks. Bear with it. Jia You!
Dor, will try to do the tutu today.
jRt, CONGRATS! My preg also started with low placenta (1st and 3rd preg) and it moved up after 7mths, so just be patient ba. What you can do is not exert strength during this time cos low placenta bleeds more easily especially if you walk too much or exert strength. You're lucky to have help at home, actually I also let hb bath Char during the first 16wks of preg cos I can't tahan all fragrance. And I bought non-scented bath, shampoo, and facial wash for the entire family. But I was different from you. I forced myself to eat even though I'll puke after that. I still eat and puke and eat and puke. I hate to puke, but I think at leats I should be absorbing something in the process, so even though I losyt weight, it was only about a kg or so...And after 24wks then my weight shoot up cos MS was gone by then. But came back during 28wks but subside again after 30wks. Bear with it. Jia You!
hi crystallised,
<font color="ff0000">CONGRATS!</font> wow #2 same b'day mth as R!
dont worry too much on the low placenta, it will slowly move up as pregnancy progresses... but pls pls do not carry R/heavy stuff and dont squat too much...
my mum had advised me not to carry tricia too often but i did not heed her advise. but after gynae tell me that i have low placenta (first trimseter), immediately i stopped carryin her at all. luckily my placenta moved up...
i also lose weight during 1st trimseter, cos no appetite at all...
do rest more since u have ur mum and hb to help out. so ur mum will also be taking care of ur #2 too? if so, wow, ur mum will be very very busy then...
<font color="ff0000">CONGRATS!</font> wow #2 same b'day mth as R!
dont worry too much on the low placenta, it will slowly move up as pregnancy progresses... but pls pls do not carry R/heavy stuff and dont squat too much...
my mum had advised me not to carry tricia too often but i did not heed her advise. but after gynae tell me that i have low placenta (first trimseter), immediately i stopped carryin her at all. luckily my placenta moved up...
i also lose weight during 1st trimseter, cos no appetite at all...
do rest more since u have ur mum and hb to help out. so ur mum will also be taking care of ur #2 too? if so, wow, ur mum will be very very busy then...
Crystallized,
Congrats!
Actually though you have been vomiting, it is already not so bad since you can still go to work without your colleagues knowing it? My MS was so bad I was on MC for so long that colleagues from other units thought I quited 
I have to say I kind of suspected something cos whenever you talked about "I hope the next kid will be xxxxx", you sounded pretty upbeat. Quite unlike someone who is trying without results
Just take care, relax, and let nature do its wonderful job
Congrats!
I have to say I kind of suspected something cos whenever you talked about "I hope the next kid will be xxxxx", you sounded pretty upbeat. Quite unlike someone who is trying without results
Just take care, relax, and let nature do its wonderful job
crystallized
Active Member
jackiejon
thks!
Coral
i hv lost abt 4kg in total. the feeling sucks! the more i tried to force myself to eat, the worse i'll puke. i dun even know wat i wanna eat. its such a chore to even think wat to eat. juz like as I was pregnant wif R, i wished there was amiracle pill to eat so i dun hv to feel hungry and think wat to eat. HORRIBLE!
Oh urs moved up aft 7mths? Thks 4 sharing... gives me hope!
I am really worried.
Eh sometimes even when i puke after 2, 3 hrs, i'll can see my dinner in the toilet bowl... means i din really absorb rite? Juz hope tt MS can ease off soon so i can quickly catch up on the nutrients.
Gemini
Thks but it'll not b same bdae as R lah. R came out early in Sep lah though he was supposed to be oct baby. #2 due in end oct so i think can say quite safe i'll hv oct baby... same bdae mth as me...
I stopped carrying R since I am pregnant. Luckily this boy is close to my hb and all along i seldom carried him. I dun squat anymore. I am almost not doing any chores at all now. yes, mum taking care of #2 as well. So <font color="0000ff">Dor</font> is right, my mum will b handling 4 monsters wif juz a maid! Will b a total madhouse then! Hahaha...
thks!
Coral
i hv lost abt 4kg in total. the feeling sucks! the more i tried to force myself to eat, the worse i'll puke. i dun even know wat i wanna eat. its such a chore to even think wat to eat. juz like as I was pregnant wif R, i wished there was amiracle pill to eat so i dun hv to feel hungry and think wat to eat. HORRIBLE!
Oh urs moved up aft 7mths? Thks 4 sharing... gives me hope!
Eh sometimes even when i puke after 2, 3 hrs, i'll can see my dinner in the toilet bowl... means i din really absorb rite? Juz hope tt MS can ease off soon so i can quickly catch up on the nutrients.
Gemini
Thks but it'll not b same bdae as R lah. R came out early in Sep lah though he was supposed to be oct baby. #2 due in end oct so i think can say quite safe i'll hv oct baby... same bdae mth as me...
I stopped carrying R since I am pregnant. Luckily this boy is close to my hb and all along i seldom carried him. I dun squat anymore. I am almost not doing any chores at all now. yes, mum taking care of #2 as well. So <font color="0000ff">Dor</font> is right, my mum will b handling 4 monsters wif juz a maid! Will b a total madhouse then! Hahaha...
crystallized
Active Member
Pups
Thks alot. I know u can def empathise coz u oso suffered fr bad MS. I was on on/off MC... 2/3 days a wk... then come back 1 wk, another 2 days MC... but tt time coz i was oso nursing a bad flu/cough, it really seemed i was sick. Some mummies coll suspected lah (which i heard fr my coll) but since they nvr verified wif me, i juz pretend i dunno.
I am sure coll fr same dept as me r suspecting but no one asked me directly so i kept quiet lor.
By right i am ok if i am suffering fr bad MS since it means preg more stable BUT i had to hv low placenta. Sigh...
Aft lunch is horrible... i literally run in and out of the toilet to vomit...
at times i really praying for help to stop the vomitting. Terrible lah!
Heee, u suspected? Hmmm, but i rem i used this sentence quite freely though i hv been trying all these while w/o success. I guess its a mother instinct!
Delphine & liliboymum
Thks ladies!
<font color="0000ff">Anyone else joining me soon? Or same mth as me too?</font>
Thks alot. I know u can def empathise coz u oso suffered fr bad MS. I was on on/off MC... 2/3 days a wk... then come back 1 wk, another 2 days MC... but tt time coz i was oso nursing a bad flu/cough, it really seemed i was sick. Some mummies coll suspected lah (which i heard fr my coll) but since they nvr verified wif me, i juz pretend i dunno.
By right i am ok if i am suffering fr bad MS since it means preg more stable BUT i had to hv low placenta. Sigh...
Aft lunch is horrible... i literally run in and out of the toilet to vomit...
Heee, u suspected? Hmmm, but i rem i used this sentence quite freely though i hv been trying all these while w/o success. I guess its a mother instinct!
Delphine & liliboymum
Thks ladies!
<font color="0000ff">Anyone else joining me soon? Or same mth as me too?</font>
crystallized,
Oh yes. I know how it feels and I certainly don't wish it on anyone else. Not even my worse enemy For me, despite such bad MS, I still had severe bleeding in my 8th week. So severe that gynae was already preparing me for a D&C but a heartbeat was miraculously seen at the emergency scan. So, I am not quite sure about it meaning preg more stable. But that is for me lah.
There is actually medicine to help stop vomiting. Safe for pregnancy as well. Your gynae didn't give you any? In my case, the medicine lost its effect on me!
In my case, my unit people knew about it cos they guessed and when they ask, I don't deny. But the thing is they managed to keep it under wraps so well that no one in other unit could pry anything out of their mouths! Hee. I work very closely with another unit which brings my disappearing act to a higher profile.
Oh yes. I know how it feels and I certainly don't wish it on anyone else. Not even my worse enemy
For me, despite such bad MS, I still had severe bleeding in my 8th week. So severe that gynae was already preparing me for a D&C but a heartbeat was miraculously seen at the emergency scan. So, I am not quite sure about it meaning preg more stable. But that is for me lah. There is actually medicine to help stop vomiting. Safe for pregnancy as well. Your gynae didn't give you any? In my case, the medicine lost its effect on me!
In my case, my unit people knew about it cos they guessed and when they ask, I don't deny. But the thing is they managed to keep it under wraps so well that no one in other unit could pry anything out of their mouths! Hee. I work very closely with another unit which brings my disappearing act to a higher profile.
coralmarine
Active Member
jRt, actually i can still puke my bfast or lunch at nite, so I had wonder if I did absorb too, but I just eat. I tried to eat non-oily stuff cos puking oily stuff is the worst. And yes, doc prescribe vomitting med for me, suppose to be safe for preg, but I insisted on not eating med. Maybe I just like to suffer. haha. For wk6-wk12 I ate like porridge and mee suan everyday. And I try to eat very very slowly so that I can chew the food and absorb as much as I can. And I try to eat the food when it's not so hot, cos when hot more smell. And I told the pple not to add sesame oil or pepper to reduce the amount of smell. And I think I relied on bread, biscuit and milo lots too. And like you, I just feel loike lying donw to rest and sleep time is the only time when the MS feeling cannot be felt. I threw up many times during meeting at work so it was quite a horrible experience thus I really think no. 3 will be a choice if I can be SAHM. Jia You. Another Oct bb, purposedly timed? And yes, I puked many times at the doc too. So he consoled me that I'll probably have lower risk of breast cancer since the ms is so severe.
One of the worst expereince is in the MRT in the morn. The mix of perfume and BO is terrible. I puke a few time in the train too. So plastic bags was a must wherever I went during my 1st two tri.
One of the worst expereince is in the MRT in the morn. The mix of perfume and BO is terrible. I puke a few time in the train too. So plastic bags was a must wherever I went during my 1st two tri.
Coral,
Ah... deja vu. Haha. Not only plastic bags, but second trimester, MUST have snacks and MUST have sweets. Hunger will bring on nausea, low blood sugar will bring on nausea and vomiting even faster!
Actually for me, eat or don't eat I will also puke. I really wonder if my stomach is some bottomless pit. And something which I didn't quite want to mention was other than vomiting, I had very bad depression. I was crying almost all the time. I think the depression was further compounded by the bad vomiting. Depressed until when I was warded for hydrating drips in the hospital, I requested for a counsellor to talk to. It is a combination of these 2 that makes my husband refuse to even think of #3 even if I siao siao want another one. Want to know how determined my hubby is, the other day I was saying I have yet to pack away the maternity clothes from my wardrobe and he quickly added "yes, pack all in a bag and see who wants can quickly give away already." Ha! Poor boy, so traumatised.
Ah... deja vu. Haha. Not only plastic bags, but second trimester, MUST have snacks and MUST have sweets. Hunger will bring on nausea, low blood sugar will bring on nausea and vomiting even faster!
Actually for me, eat or don't eat I will also puke. I really wonder if my stomach is some bottomless pit. And something which I didn't quite want to mention was other than vomiting, I had very bad depression. I was crying almost all the time. I think the depression was further compounded by the bad vomiting. Depressed until when I was warded for hydrating drips in the hospital, I requested for a counsellor to talk to. It is a combination of these 2 that makes my husband refuse to even think of #3 even if I siao siao want another one. Want to know how determined my hubby is, the other day I was saying I have yet to pack away the maternity clothes from my wardrobe and he quickly added "yes, pack all in a bag and see who wants can quickly give away already." Ha! Poor boy, so traumatised.
crystallized
Active Member
jasmine
i dun deny my mum is the best to me. She is amazing and great! Esp when trying times like tt, i really really appreciate her more. so bad of me but i flared up a few times when she insisted to bring our laundry to her place so she can wash. I din wan her to overwork when she insisted its not troublesome. then she went on to mumble how much other ppl wished they had someone to do chores 4 them. in my heart, i said yes i do appreciate wat u hv done and i dun wan u to overwork. since then, i dun flare up anymore.
pups
oh goodness! almost planned D&C!!! during my wk 7 or 8, i was coughing so badly i spotted. coz i dunno if the cough medicine was safe (GP said it was) and i am in 1st tri, i preferred not to take any medication. That was till i spotted and a scan at gynae's showed tt pockets of liquid were surrounding my sac and if my condition dun improve, the whole sac will b dislodged and pregnancy gone. Tt was then i obediently took medication and recovered soon after. Then at wk 5, when i spotted and visited KKH emergency clinic (Coz gynae not avialble), i was suspected of etopic pregnancy! This preg totally was full of surprises and prior to each check-up, i am so tensed and worried. Only when i saw baby's heartbeat then i relaxed.
Gynae prescribed me medication but i din wan. i figured it din work for R when it was milder as compared to this time and it wun work now. Besides i am puking every now & then so wat goes in will not stay as well.
Ur team members are so cooperative!
Agreed tt hunger will bring abt sudden fainting spells, nausea watever!
U had depression? Din know urs was so serious. So compared to u, i cant complain liao coz u were hospitalised. U still thinking of #3??? Goodness... So brave of u even juz to think abt it!
I think i am hvg mild depression. Juz not telling my hb. And i was not even grumbling abt the MS initially coz we really wanted this baby. But recent few wks, i wld grumble every night b4 we slept. Juz to make myself feel better... Talk to my baby everyday, asking when will we hv better days???
Coral
Yes i keep a plastic bag wif me too. but nowadays i juz find a patch of grass and vomit. Most times i dun hv time to reach for my plastic bag! And yes, i LOVE sleeping time!!!! the only escape fr the horrible MS!
I used to love sesame oil, garlic, pepper. i've cut all these down to reduce the smell of food as well.
I'll consider #3 when both kids r older and independant... else wif such bad MS, i cant survive! My MIL asked me to close shop aft this baby aft seeing how bad my MS was.
No, not purposedly timed. I was juz saying we were trying for quite a while w/o much success. Was planning for 2008 baby but failed. So this time successful conceiving is indeed a miracle.
Oh yeah? Lower risk of breast cancer? Sounds great!
Aiyoh, dun talk abt BO! so scary!!!!!!!!!
i dun deny my mum is the best to me. She is amazing and great! Esp when trying times like tt, i really really appreciate her more. so bad of me but i flared up a few times when she insisted to bring our laundry to her place so she can wash. I din wan her to overwork when she insisted its not troublesome. then she went on to mumble how much other ppl wished they had someone to do chores 4 them. in my heart, i said yes i do appreciate wat u hv done and i dun wan u to overwork. since then, i dun flare up anymore.
pups
oh goodness! almost planned D&C!!! during my wk 7 or 8, i was coughing so badly i spotted. coz i dunno if the cough medicine was safe (GP said it was) and i am in 1st tri, i preferred not to take any medication. That was till i spotted and a scan at gynae's showed tt pockets of liquid were surrounding my sac and if my condition dun improve, the whole sac will b dislodged and pregnancy gone. Tt was then i obediently took medication and recovered soon after. Then at wk 5, when i spotted and visited KKH emergency clinic (Coz gynae not avialble), i was suspected of etopic pregnancy! This preg totally was full of surprises and prior to each check-up, i am so tensed and worried. Only when i saw baby's heartbeat then i relaxed.
Gynae prescribed me medication but i din wan. i figured it din work for R when it was milder as compared to this time and it wun work now. Besides i am puking every now & then so wat goes in will not stay as well.
Ur team members are so cooperative!
Agreed tt hunger will bring abt sudden fainting spells, nausea watever!
U had depression? Din know urs was so serious. So compared to u, i cant complain liao coz u were hospitalised. U still thinking of #3??? Goodness... So brave of u even juz to think abt it!
I think i am hvg mild depression. Juz not telling my hb. And i was not even grumbling abt the MS initially coz we really wanted this baby. But recent few wks, i wld grumble every night b4 we slept. Juz to make myself feel better... Talk to my baby everyday, asking when will we hv better days???
Coral
Yes i keep a plastic bag wif me too. but nowadays i juz find a patch of grass and vomit. Most times i dun hv time to reach for my plastic bag! And yes, i LOVE sleeping time!!!! the only escape fr the horrible MS!
I used to love sesame oil, garlic, pepper. i've cut all these down to reduce the smell of food as well.
I'll consider #3 when both kids r older and independant... else wif such bad MS, i cant survive! My MIL asked me to close shop aft this baby aft seeing how bad my MS was.
No, not purposedly timed. I was juz saying we were trying for quite a while w/o much success. Was planning for 2008 baby but failed. So this time successful conceiving is indeed a miracle.
Oh yeah? Lower risk of breast cancer? Sounds great!
Aiyoh, dun talk abt BO! so scary!!!!!!!!!
jRt,
CONGRATSSS!!!!!!!!!
so happy for you to hear that you are preggers... ur mum is simply amazing! ya, do accept all e help that u can get n rest well n take care!!! i reli cannot help feeling ur mum is reli wonder-woman... sometimes i juz whimsically mention that i feel like having #3, and she told me straightaway that she's "resigning"... ask me to take care myself while she goes back to work...
mummies, allow me to "wonder out loud" here abit...
u all know i've been saying for ages that i reli wana stay at home and be full-time mummy... but reli dont have a choice last time due to some loans that we r servicing...
recently, we managed to clear off e loan... on e trade off that hubby will be much much more busier doing something else that "gave" us that sum of money to clear off e loan.... so now "loan-free" liaoz, i keep calculating n calculating.. n thinking n thinking abt reli quitting my job n look after e kids on my own...
BUT, in order to do that, there are ALOT ALOT of compromises & sacrifices that i have to make, not only for myself, but also for the entire family.. and for Ayden & Belle's future....
for one, our home loan (although under CPF)will have to be extended for another 2-3years instead of us clearing it by another year...
then, we'll have to sell-off the car.. which is a huge question mark as to whether we need to pay a lump sum or not.. cos we took full loan for 10yrs somemore.... then, we'll probably be able to go out much lesser, cos also less $$ n not so convenient to go out liaoz...
i'll definitely not be able to "pay" my mum the amount that i'm giving her now to help me out... so have to ask her to go n find work... i reli dunno how she will react to this part. cos although she keeps complaining that its so tough looking after e kids... blah blah blah... afterall, its still her own grandchildren, PLUS she used to work as a cleaner (not exactly high pay and very hard work).. so i reli dunno if she just "kou shi xing fei" when she says she'd rather go back to work or not leh....
and finally, for e 2 kids... cos im sending ayden to a "sort of private" school now... school fees is rather high.. when i convert him to 5-days, 1.5hrs next term onwards, it will cost us close to $900/term... n by this year-end, belle will also be going to e same school.. so this part will b a huge strain on e finances...
looking at this kind of scenario, i will not be able to afford to send them for anything "extra" classes should they have the interest in next time... no "shopping" trips or "ad-hoc" presents that they get all e time now... but in return, they do get mummy at home full-day, all the time....
coming back to me, actually, i do enjoy my work when im at work... i still love what i do, and it pays me well enough lah... for now, this income also means that i can do whatever i want, and buy whatever i want for e kids.. and have sufficient money to save up for them in future... but at e same time, i dread the hours that i'm away from them... i still (after almost 2yrs) hate the fact that ayden is close to the maid becos she's his main-caregiver... i've already miss so many milestones and have to rely on "repeat telecast" if i'm "lucky"....
but there are also the "sometimes" that i absolutely hate my job and will just hope that i can stay at home...
i reli dunno what to do.... almost everyday thinking abt this leh... but never dare to share with my mum or hubby cos i dunno wat kind of reaction to expect from them.... *haiz*.....
CONGRATSSS!!!!!!!!!
so happy for you to hear that you are preggers... ur mum is simply amazing! ya, do accept all e help that u can get n rest well n take care!!! i reli cannot help feeling ur mum is reli wonder-woman... sometimes i juz whimsically mention that i feel like having #3, and she told me straightaway that she's "resigning"... ask me to take care myself while she goes back to work...
mummies, allow me to "wonder out loud" here abit...
u all know i've been saying for ages that i reli wana stay at home and be full-time mummy... but reli dont have a choice last time due to some loans that we r servicing...
recently, we managed to clear off e loan... on e trade off that hubby will be much much more busier doing something else that "gave" us that sum of money to clear off e loan.... so now "loan-free" liaoz, i keep calculating n calculating.. n thinking n thinking abt reli quitting my job n look after e kids on my own...
BUT, in order to do that, there are ALOT ALOT of compromises & sacrifices that i have to make, not only for myself, but also for the entire family.. and for Ayden & Belle's future....
for one, our home loan (although under CPF)will have to be extended for another 2-3years instead of us clearing it by another year...
then, we'll have to sell-off the car.. which is a huge question mark as to whether we need to pay a lump sum or not.. cos we took full loan for 10yrs somemore.... then, we'll probably be able to go out much lesser, cos also less $$ n not so convenient to go out liaoz...
i'll definitely not be able to "pay" my mum the amount that i'm giving her now to help me out... so have to ask her to go n find work... i reli dunno how she will react to this part. cos although she keeps complaining that its so tough looking after e kids... blah blah blah... afterall, its still her own grandchildren, PLUS she used to work as a cleaner (not exactly high pay and very hard work).. so i reli dunno if she just "kou shi xing fei" when she says she'd rather go back to work or not leh....
and finally, for e 2 kids... cos im sending ayden to a "sort of private" school now... school fees is rather high.. when i convert him to 5-days, 1.5hrs next term onwards, it will cost us close to $900/term... n by this year-end, belle will also be going to e same school.. so this part will b a huge strain on e finances...
looking at this kind of scenario, i will not be able to afford to send them for anything "extra" classes should they have the interest in next time... no "shopping" trips or "ad-hoc" presents that they get all e time now... but in return, they do get mummy at home full-day, all the time....
coming back to me, actually, i do enjoy my work when im at work... i still love what i do, and it pays me well enough lah... for now, this income also means that i can do whatever i want, and buy whatever i want for e kids.. and have sufficient money to save up for them in future... but at e same time, i dread the hours that i'm away from them... i still (after almost 2yrs) hate the fact that ayden is close to the maid becos she's his main-caregiver... i've already miss so many milestones and have to rely on "repeat telecast" if i'm "lucky"....
but there are also the "sometimes" that i absolutely hate my job and will just hope that i can stay at home...
i reli dunno what to do.... almost everyday thinking abt this leh... but never dare to share with my mum or hubby cos i dunno wat kind of reaction to expect from them.... *haiz*.....
coralmarine
Active Member
pups, so you had some depression too. My depression came during 2nd-3rd tri. I can be walking on the street with hb and Char and still cry and I can go to the doc and start crying until doc asked if it's ok for my hb to be in the room, cos he suspect hb bully me to make me so upset. But I say ok for hb to be there, cos frankly, i really dunno what caused te depression. I can cry for hours and hours...Maybe hormone change plus the worry of all the things like the preg, work and home. So i told doc I dunno need any med, just need to cry. haha, the doc must feel quite helpless too, so he and hb just look at each other and allow me to cry. Even till now at times I just don't want to sleep and can cry for a while before I go to bed. Somehow I feel guilty cos I know the bb would feel my depression too and I know it's bad for them. Am hoping to get myself out of it soon, else might go into post-natal blues. Guess that's why I'm channeling my energy to tidying the house to distract myself bah.
jRt, I hold my plastic bags in my hand cos like you no time to reach in the bag for them the merlion puke will just come whenever they wish to.
Dor, I successfully made the tutu. Will upload pic and share tonite.
This first one is white base with stars, and balloon. Will make plain ones later.
jRt, I hold my plastic bags in my hand cos like you no time to reach in the bag for them the merlion puke will just come whenever they wish to.
Dor, I successfully made the tutu. Will upload pic and share tonite.
hi crystallised,
i know what u mean. appreciate your mum help but yet feel bad cos she will be tired out helping wif the hsework, on top of her normal housework...same here, my mum also like that, i know that she's v tired already but still insisted to take care of tristan during nite time...
oh, did not know that u have problem in conceving too...but nvr mind lah, in the end, u did manage to have ur #2 too!
oh, i did not know that having bad MS mean that the pregnancy is more stable...
hi pups/coral,
wow, indeed a rollercoaster pregnancy journey for both of u...
pups, ur hb very funny but very poor thing also, think he really tramutised by your pregnancy...
i know what u mean. appreciate your mum help but yet feel bad cos she will be tired out helping wif the hsework, on top of her normal housework...same here, my mum also like that, i know that she's v tired already but still insisted to take care of tristan during nite time...
oh, did not know that u have problem in conceving too...but nvr mind lah, in the end, u did manage to have ur #2 too!
oh, i did not know that having bad MS mean that the pregnancy is more stable...
hi pups/coral,
wow, indeed a rollercoaster pregnancy journey for both of u...
pups, ur hb very funny but very poor thing also, think he really tramutised by your pregnancy...
crystallized,
No lah! I said IF I SHOULD even want to consider #3. Not that I am considering. In fact, by choice we do not want to have #3. Before I delivered, my dad also subtly brought up this point about stopping at 2 as he said no point going through all these a third time.
Coral,
My depression lasted as long as my MS. That is until about 5 1/2 months. There after I was quite ok, just extremely tired. Ya, just cry... and my hubby is the type who do not know how to talk nice things. To him is whatever he say I will still cry, so might as well not say. Sigh.. During that period of time, I think my daddy was the best person to lend a listening ear and to at least say something to me compared to my block of wood hubby.
Starz,
What private school is Ayden attending?
I think no one can tell you what to do other than help you probe on all the possibilities which you have already listed down. Another way I can think of is to be a temp SAHM? Cos it doesn't mean once you SAH you have to do so forever. You can be a SAHM for a few years then after that rejoin the workforce? Of course, it will depends on how marketable you are by then but I have read about many women who make that move and are very successful still. This way you can enjoy the formative years of Ayden and Belle, yet take a break from working life, but with the knowing that you will continue to find a type of job which you have passion in and perhaps, better hours, such that you continue to spend more time with your family?
No lah! I said IF I SHOULD even want to consider #3. Not that I am considering. In fact, by choice we do not want to have #3. Before I delivered, my dad also subtly brought up this point about stopping at 2 as he said no point going through all these a third time.
Coral,
My depression lasted as long as my MS. That is until about 5 1/2 months. There after I was quite ok, just extremely tired. Ya, just cry... and my hubby is the type who do not know how to talk nice things. To him is whatever he say I will still cry, so might as well not say. Sigh.. During that period of time, I think my daddy was the best person to lend a listening ear and to at least say something to me compared to my block of wood hubby.
Starz,
What private school is Ayden attending?
I think no one can tell you what to do other than help you probe on all the possibilities which you have already listed down. Another way I can think of is to be a temp SAHM? Cos it doesn't mean once you SAH you have to do so forever. You can be a SAHM for a few years then after that rejoin the workforce? Of course, it will depends on how marketable you are by then but I have read about many women who make that move and are very successful still. This way you can enjoy the formative years of Ayden and Belle, yet take a break from working life, but with the knowing that you will continue to find a type of job which you have passion in and perhaps, better hours, such that you continue to spend more time with your family?
jrt
congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! acutally i guess it sometimes last month but i respect yr decision to officially announce it keke..very happy for you my dear that yr wish came thru, i pray for your smooth pregnancy thru
starz
i understand yr suitation, but hor dn stress, take thing 1 after another..what pte school is ayden attending, the fees abit on the high side ah..
congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! acutally i guess it sometimes last month but i respect yr decision to officially announce it keke..very happy for you my dear that yr wish came thru, i pray for your smooth pregnancy thru
starz
i understand yr suitation, but hor dn stress, take thing 1 after another..what pte school is ayden attending, the fees abit on the high side ah..
crystallized
Active Member
starz
actually i know my mum is v tired but she dun dare to complain coz she knows both my sister and her rely on her help. as much as i can, i'll try to max out the ML. by then my nephew wld hv been abt 8 mths old and mine abt 4 mths.
Regarding the issue of being a SAHM, i think its a huge sacrifice and whole load of adjustments to be made. Esp now tt the family is quite comfortable wif dual income. much as I wld like to spend much time wif my kid(s), i doubt i can manage my time as a SAHM well. For me, unless my hb's earnings are really comfy enuff, i wun dare to consider this option at all. esp in such a society & whereby next time the children needs to go for classes, buy things etc. I dun wanna end up not being able to afford it and my child has to go w/o. U gotta consider this carefully. R u prepared 4 all the sacrifices? Its certainly not easy.
wow! the sch tt A attends has quite steep fees. burden gg to b tough on u when belle oso attends and if u r a SAHM...
Whatever it is, ur family hv to be supportive.
Coral
my hb said i v disgusting... vomit everywhere but i said i dun hv a choice wor... its ur baby tts making me suffer! hahaha...
Gemini
Juz tt we tried for a few mths and no news, so i thot we'll nvr hv a 2nd child again. tt time when i saw my gynae for routine pap smear, she did ask us to try for a few more mths and if no news, then to undergo furthur tests. But in my mind, i tell myself no lah, i dun wan to go thru such tests. If we r fated to juz hv R, so be it lor. Wun wanna undergo wat IVF etc to hv 2nd kid. cant afford the time and money and not to mention mental stress. juz tt this baby came when we least expect it. thot its a goner liao...
Wendy
Yah this time really hope i can finally hv my wish for an Oct baby!
Pups
Thats prob what my MIL feels oso, thus she asked me to stop aft this one.
Adeline
Thks!
Esther
why u suspect leh? coz i asked u ah? coz preg not stable then, din wanna announce yet lah... u understd coz so pantang mah. heee.... pregnancy din start out smooth but hopefully it will b later!
actually i know my mum is v tired but she dun dare to complain coz she knows both my sister and her rely on her help. as much as i can, i'll try to max out the ML. by then my nephew wld hv been abt 8 mths old and mine abt 4 mths.
Regarding the issue of being a SAHM, i think its a huge sacrifice and whole load of adjustments to be made. Esp now tt the family is quite comfortable wif dual income. much as I wld like to spend much time wif my kid(s), i doubt i can manage my time as a SAHM well. For me, unless my hb's earnings are really comfy enuff, i wun dare to consider this option at all. esp in such a society & whereby next time the children needs to go for classes, buy things etc. I dun wanna end up not being able to afford it and my child has to go w/o. U gotta consider this carefully. R u prepared 4 all the sacrifices? Its certainly not easy.
wow! the sch tt A attends has quite steep fees. burden gg to b tough on u when belle oso attends and if u r a SAHM...
Whatever it is, ur family hv to be supportive.
Coral
my hb said i v disgusting... vomit everywhere but i said i dun hv a choice wor... its ur baby tts making me suffer! hahaha...
Gemini
Juz tt we tried for a few mths and no news, so i thot we'll nvr hv a 2nd child again. tt time when i saw my gynae for routine pap smear, she did ask us to try for a few more mths and if no news, then to undergo furthur tests. But in my mind, i tell myself no lah, i dun wan to go thru such tests. If we r fated to juz hv R, so be it lor. Wun wanna undergo wat IVF etc to hv 2nd kid. cant afford the time and money and not to mention mental stress. juz tt this baby came when we least expect it. thot its a goner liao...
Wendy
Yah this time really hope i can finally hv my wish for an Oct baby!
Pups
Thats prob what my MIL feels oso, thus she asked me to stop aft this one.
Adeline
Thks!
Esther
why u suspect leh? coz i asked u ah? coz preg not stable then, din wanna announce yet lah... u understd coz so pantang mah. heee.... pregnancy din start out smooth but hopefully it will b later!
hi crystallised,
i understand your sentiments on having #2. when i did my routine pap smear, my gyane after checking, say i'm not ovulating, so same as u, thought it's not going to be easy to have #2 liao. but anyway, we did try for a few mths, and my hb also say, if really dont have #2, then be it loh, anyway we have tricia liao...
sometimes stress really play a part, so have to take it easy...
i understand your sentiments on having #2. when i did my routine pap smear, my gyane after checking, say i'm not ovulating, so same as u, thought it's not going to be easy to have #2 liao. but anyway, we did try for a few mths, and my hb also say, if really dont have #2, then be it loh, anyway we have tricia liao...
sometimes stress really play a part, so have to take it easy...
coralmarine
Active Member
Starz, dont be stressed, list out the pros and cons of both decision and have a good discussion wiht hb about it. Actualloy having less cash does not mean less outtings too. You can go to the parks more often wiht your kids, and you can spend much more time together wiht them to make many more new toys, you can also cook lots more good food for them. As a family, you probably can spend much more time together.
Either way, I know you'll still make a good mum.
jRt, my hb used to my puking liao, he'll just turn away to not be disgusted. ;p
pups, same same, my hb can';t talk much sense into me. The more he ask what happened or what he can do I'll just cry more. So he can only leave me alone and take care of Char when I'm down. My only outlet is here, can't really talk to anyone else.
jRt, my hb used to my puking liao, he'll just turn away to not be disgusted. ;p
pups, same same, my hb can';t talk much sense into me. The more he ask what happened or what he can do I'll just cry more. So he can only leave me alone and take care of Char when I'm down. My only outlet is here, can't really talk to anyone else.
snowpooher
Active Member
Crystallized,
Once again congratulations! So able to see the gender yday? Remind myself to sms you to check, but too busy and forgot =P
Whether is boy or gal, it doesn't matter. Anyway, your niece is as good as your daughter
Regarding the low placenta issue, dun worry too much. Usually, it will moves up at the later stage of 3rd trimester. I had this low placenta issue when I was preggie with Jaslyn. Remember the time you came over to my place to get the puff? I was carrying Jolene to pat her to sleep despite I had low placenta. No choice, cos Jolene sticked to me like superglue then. She could sense Mummy's having another baby. My gynae said he would need to do a small op to push up my placenta if it still didn't move up towards the 3rd trimester. As for MS, we don't really have much control over it. If you want to puke, just puke, dun hold it, it will only make you feel worse. Remember, I "bao" the toilet bowl to sleep? haha.. Pregnancy is never a smooth and nice one, that's what we mothers are great about. Wishing you the smooth pregnancy!
I "join" you with my morale support lah hor! If not my hb will faint de leh LOL
Starz,
What you are thinking now, is what I've been thinking over the past mth. The only difference is, my hb is v supportive of me being SAHM. Like you, I'm the one worrying. It's very "fan" to keep thinking this, yet can't find a good solution. Anyway, to be SAHM, we really need to sacrifice a lot, in terms of $, less outings etc. I'm willing to let go the car, hence no issue with this. The kids have grown up, actually the car is not really necessary now. I have not think of a good solution yet. My next plan is to clear the housing loan and get a new place, nearer to my mum and office. And if allow, which I dun think will approve, I may request to convert time part for work. One step at a time, no hurry to rush into any decision. Ayden's sch fee is on the high side, you wanna consider for a change? Cos is not easy for 2 kids with that kind of high sch fees. BTW, my colleagues told me once our kids enter Pri Sch, the expenses will not be so high. And yes, I've been thinking how to break the news to my mum. Once I stop working, means my contribution to her will be gone. I know my mum will understand, but I really dunno how to tell her. I think the most difficult part is that big step that we need to step out.
Coral,
You still not pop yet haha... My friend just popped last nite. Overdue for 3 days.
Adeline,
The gals are so cute! Especially Kimberly with that sunglass of hers!
And hor they really look alike leh. I think hor, few more years later, when both grow up, ppl may think they are twins.
Once again congratulations! So able to see the gender yday? Remind myself to sms you to check, but too busy and forgot =P
Whether is boy or gal, it doesn't matter. Anyway, your niece is as good as your daughter
Regarding the low placenta issue, dun worry too much. Usually, it will moves up at the later stage of 3rd trimester. I had this low placenta issue when I was preggie with Jaslyn. Remember the time you came over to my place to get the puff? I was carrying Jolene to pat her to sleep despite I had low placenta. No choice, cos Jolene sticked to me like superglue then. She could sense Mummy's having another baby. My gynae said he would need to do a small op to push up my placenta if it still didn't move up towards the 3rd trimester. As for MS, we don't really have much control over it. If you want to puke, just puke, dun hold it, it will only make you feel worse. Remember, I "bao" the toilet bowl to sleep? haha.. Pregnancy is never a smooth and nice one, that's what we mothers are great about. Wishing you the smooth pregnancy!
I "join" you with my morale support lah hor! If not my hb will faint de leh LOL
Starz,
What you are thinking now, is what I've been thinking over the past mth. The only difference is, my hb is v supportive of me being SAHM. Like you, I'm the one worrying. It's very "fan" to keep thinking this, yet can't find a good solution. Anyway, to be SAHM, we really need to sacrifice a lot, in terms of $, less outings etc. I'm willing to let go the car, hence no issue with this. The kids have grown up, actually the car is not really necessary now. I have not think of a good solution yet. My next plan is to clear the housing loan and get a new place, nearer to my mum and office. And if allow, which I dun think will approve, I may request to convert time part for work. One step at a time, no hurry to rush into any decision. Ayden's sch fee is on the high side, you wanna consider for a change? Cos is not easy for 2 kids with that kind of high sch fees. BTW, my colleagues told me once our kids enter Pri Sch, the expenses will not be so high. And yes, I've been thinking how to break the news to my mum. Once I stop working, means my contribution to her will be gone. I know my mum will understand, but I really dunno how to tell her. I think the most difficult part is that big step that we need to step out.
Coral,
You still not pop yet haha... My friend just popped last nite. Overdue for 3 days.
Adeline,
The gals are so cute! Especially Kimberly with that sunglass of hers!
And hor they really look alike leh. I think hor, few more years later, when both grow up, ppl may think they are twins.
crystallized
Active Member
Gemini
Yah 顺其自然 better. No stress, less expectations and thus happy when striked.
Coral
R so used to seeing me puked tt he imitates me now!
Jenny
Cant see gender yest but i alrdy know my answer. Unless another miracle happens this time, else i shld b right. Anyway i not so kancheong to find out gender leh. heee
Yah u r right. My niece is as gd as my daughter. Anyway i asked her a few times to guess the gender of my baby. She kept saying its 弟弟. By the 4th time i asked her, she exclaimed, "Its 弟弟! Boys! All boys lah!" It was so funny when she said tt coz my sis expecting a boy mah. So my sis asked her is she happy tt she is the only rose among the boys?
I din rem u had low placenta while wif jas. I hope so too. Now i am more concerned abt my MS than placenta. i cant keep much food in and now gotta start taking all the multivits/iron pills... wah kao... its v tough on me... worried will vomit the next moment aft i eat...
Luckily R has been quite a gd boy. I had to keep lying down and told him tt mommy is sick. He will at times walk over to sayang me then run to look for his papa. so over this period, he has grown closer to my hb but i am perfectly fine wif it. Am juz glad he is not super sticky.
why u consider to b a sahm when i feel like u dun like it all along? u keep saying u cannot b sahm coz u dun think u can tahan?
Yah 顺其自然 better. No stress, less expectations and thus happy when striked.
Coral
R so used to seeing me puked tt he imitates me now!
Jenny
Cant see gender yest but i alrdy know my answer. Unless another miracle happens this time, else i shld b right. Anyway i not so kancheong to find out gender leh. heee
Yah u r right. My niece is as gd as my daughter. Anyway i asked her a few times to guess the gender of my baby. She kept saying its 弟弟. By the 4th time i asked her, she exclaimed, "Its 弟弟! Boys! All boys lah!" It was so funny when she said tt coz my sis expecting a boy mah. So my sis asked her is she happy tt she is the only rose among the boys?
I din rem u had low placenta while wif jas. I hope so too. Now i am more concerned abt my MS than placenta. i cant keep much food in and now gotta start taking all the multivits/iron pills... wah kao... its v tough on me... worried will vomit the next moment aft i eat...
Luckily R has been quite a gd boy. I had to keep lying down and told him tt mommy is sick. He will at times walk over to sayang me then run to look for his papa. so over this period, he has grown closer to my hb but i am perfectly fine wif it. Am juz glad he is not super sticky.
why u consider to b a sahm when i feel like u dun like it all along? u keep saying u cannot b sahm coz u dun think u can tahan?
hellooo mummies here, have not been here for a very looooong time. Busy with my new job and very super busy with 2 monsters.
Anyone here plan for #3? I am still considering and thinking of the pro & cons. I like big family so might try for the last one. maybe in another yr or so when #2 is almost 2. he is going 1yr in 2-3 mths time.
Anyone here plan for #3? I am still considering and thinking of the pro & cons. I like big family so might try for the last one. maybe in another yr or so when #2 is almost 2. he is going 1yr in 2-3 mths time.
starz
i have been through your stage and i actually quit my job and took up ad hoc assignment as consultant for 8 months. It was good for a start as my previous job require much travelling and i have to spend time away from home quite frequently. But after sometime, the financial strain got into me as my spending power dwindle to zero when there is no assignment. i was actually quite stressed up as there is really little savings. i was quite lucky to be offered a job on one of my assignement and it was close to home and i really jump at the opportunity. Like JrT, unless i think we have a comfortable pool of savings and not much of liability, i think its hard to be on single income. I am glad that i make that decision to take up the job especially my hubby is a realtor whose income may be quite erratic. I am not trying to be a wet blanket but in such bad economic situation, you may want to hold back your decision. My friend's hubby just got retrenched recently and she just resigned her high paying job last year to be SAHM. The last thing you want in the family is to face financial strain.
I never rule out the idea to be SAHM again but i think i will wait out a few more years (maybe when both of them attend primary school) to build up my saving nests, at least should my hubby has no income, we can rely on the savings for sometimes before he or myself can find a job.
just to share my thinking process on this SAHM thingy dont have to affect your final decision. sometimes a mother's love can overcome all hardship and difficulties.
i have been through your stage and i actually quit my job and took up ad hoc assignment as consultant for 8 months. It was good for a start as my previous job require much travelling and i have to spend time away from home quite frequently. But after sometime, the financial strain got into me as my spending power dwindle to zero when there is no assignment. i was actually quite stressed up as there is really little savings. i was quite lucky to be offered a job on one of my assignement and it was close to home and i really jump at the opportunity. Like JrT, unless i think we have a comfortable pool of savings and not much of liability, i think its hard to be on single income. I am glad that i make that decision to take up the job especially my hubby is a realtor whose income may be quite erratic. I am not trying to be a wet blanket but in such bad economic situation, you may want to hold back your decision. My friend's hubby just got retrenched recently and she just resigned her high paying job last year to be SAHM. The last thing you want in the family is to face financial strain.
I never rule out the idea to be SAHM again but i think i will wait out a few more years (maybe when both of them attend primary school) to build up my saving nests, at least should my hubby has no income, we can rely on the savings for sometimes before he or myself can find a job.
just to share my thinking process on this SAHM thingy dont have to affect your final decision. sometimes a mother's love can overcome all hardship and difficulties.
coralmarine
Active Member
jRt, haha, HCar also used to my puking, she'll come over and say you're sick ah? I'll say ya, and she'll sayang me.
When I first got to know I'm preg doc also suspected etopic, it was a bad time cos hb wasn;t around and I was running to hosp for all teh different checks and scans and I remember trying hard to hold back my tears as I remembered my 1st bad experience...Now things are stable, just waiting for bb to pop. SO let's all be happy mums wiht happy babies.
Jenny, I suspect I might be overdue too. No feeling at all.
Dor, here's my creation.Use a not so nice piece for first trial, will use a pure white one for the next dress.
Jenny, I suspect I might be overdue too. No feeling at all.
Dor, here's my creation.Use a not so nice piece for first trial, will use a pure white one for the next dress.
starz
im sahm so i wouldnt be telling you why i stopped work. the same feeling all mummies get
but how about working out the finance part?
1. Possible getting part time kinda assignment?
2. FOr ayden and belle's school, do they need to go to playgroup?can they just go for a bit of enrichment then skip the playgroup? CY attends mandeville and marsden (music and swimming) and per term it doesnt hit $700. depending on your priorities, enrichment classes give great socialisation as well. you can source for informal/non professional playgroups run by mummies for alternative socialisation other times.some of these are really well run..
3. maid, do you still keep the maid when you stop work?
4. sme mummies do sprees to earn money, you might not think it's a lot, but trust me...it can be...i know of mummies earning anything between $10-$15 per mummy just for shipping alone..profit not earning only.
some trying to offer some solutions here. but then it;s your household so you know best...
im sahm so i wouldnt be telling you why i stopped work. the same feeling all mummies get
but how about working out the finance part?
1. Possible getting part time kinda assignment?
2. FOr ayden and belle's school, do they need to go to playgroup?can they just go for a bit of enrichment then skip the playgroup? CY attends mandeville and marsden (music and swimming) and per term it doesnt hit $700. depending on your priorities, enrichment classes give great socialisation as well. you can source for informal/non professional playgroups run by mummies for alternative socialisation other times.some of these are really well run..
3. maid, do you still keep the maid when you stop work?
4. sme mummies do sprees to earn money, you might not think it's a lot, but trust me...it can be...i know of mummies earning anything between $10-$15 per mummy just for shipping alone..profit not earning only.
some trying to offer some solutions here. but then it;s your household so you know best...
JRT
CONGRATS!!....so ur mum very very busy liao huh......hehe
Actually see ur FB posts got suspect but dun dare to ask....haha
Wah means jus nice 3 yrs gap for the kids. Mine also 2nd preg not very smooth. Wonder why....is it a girl thingy??....hehehe
btw D's edd was end Oct also leh then came out end Sept....haha
But anyway I prefer to celebrate bday individually cos more celebrations ma right.
Starz
Actually I find it funny leh dun mind huh but why must pay off ur HDB loan in a rush leh?? Cos interest very high aah?? N u so used to car liao u considering selling off the car then transport how??
But for this kind of big issue rather then thinking alone why not talk to ur hubby better. Cos now its all ur tots good n bad only ur opinion. Ur hubby might give u other stuff to consider from other views. Or u can ask for parttime anot?? Best of both worlds.
Adeline
Kim look so big girl n prettier liao
SHirley
lele looks so cute in the pix she stick out her tongue......hahaha
CONGRATS!!....so ur mum very very busy liao huh......hehe
Actually see ur FB posts got suspect but dun dare to ask....haha
Wah means jus nice 3 yrs gap for the kids. Mine also 2nd preg not very smooth. Wonder why....is it a girl thingy??....hehehe
btw D's edd was end Oct also leh then came out end Sept....haha
But anyway I prefer to celebrate bday individually cos more celebrations ma right.
Starz
Actually I find it funny leh dun mind huh but why must pay off ur HDB loan in a rush leh?? Cos interest very high aah?? N u so used to car liao u considering selling off the car then transport how??
But for this kind of big issue rather then thinking alone why not talk to ur hubby better. Cos now its all ur tots good n bad only ur opinion. Ur hubby might give u other stuff to consider from other views. Or u can ask for parttime anot?? Best of both worlds.
Adeline
Kim look so big girl n prettier liao
SHirley
lele looks so cute in the pix she stick out her tongue......hahaha
hihi crystallized..
ya..bb will come at the most unexpected moment..i also gave up trying then was surprised when i got a + a the test kit with Brod..i hope u will feel better with MS soon..whichever the gender as long as bb is healthy + a gd playmate for R to grow up & closely bonded with..
coral..
wow..Char is soo tall..how heavy is bb now?are u getting more contractions?i hope u dun hv to be soo close to due..must peep us when u pops~
ya..bb will come at the most unexpected moment..i also gave up trying then was surprised when i got a + a the test kit with Brod..i hope u will feel better with MS soon..whichever the gender as long as bb is healthy + a gd playmate for R to grow up & closely bonded with..
coral..
wow..Char is soo tall..how heavy is bb now?are u getting more contractions?i hope u dun hv to be soo close to due..must peep us when u pops~
coralmarine
Active Member
Gemini, Shirley, it took about half an hour or less to make it.And Shirley, the cost for this is nil to me cos the elastic band we have at home, the material free from my aunt. But even if I were to buy material, think it'll cost less than $10.
Shirley, can't see the clip clearly leh.
Wendy, funny thing is I stop having anymore contraction. Bb was suppose to be 3.2kg as of last Sat...estimation fm gynae. Think I'm just too relaxed from not working so my entire body just relaxed and bb happily staying inside? As for Char, maybe the short tutu makes her look tall? She's about 94/95cm quite the same as the rest.
Shirley, can't see the clip clearly leh.
Wendy, funny thing is I stop having anymore contraction. Bb was suppose to be 3.2kg as of last Sat...estimation fm gynae. Think I'm just too relaxed from not working so my entire body just relaxed and bb happily staying inside? As for Char, maybe the short tutu makes her look tall? She's about 94/95cm quite the same as the rest.
Have been very busy, but must find time to come and say.....
Crystallized,
Congrats!!!!
Starz,
I can understand your dilemma. No answer which is the best way but here are some of my thoughts...
Car loan. Is it financially wise to sell off the car now? You've got a 10-year loan and given that car prices in the secondary mkt has dropped substantially, would the sales proceeds pay off the entire bank loan? Quite likely you will hv to dip into your savings to pay off the loan.
You have to be mentally prepared to lose all the financial freedom. I've been through it before. Hub takes care of all the expenditure and we are comfortable with a single income. But I can't bring myself to take money from him. I still had to give allowances to my parents cos I can't bring myself to cut them off a source of allowance just because of my decision to stay at home. So during the years that I was SAHM, i dipped into my savings and survived on income made from shares.
While some of us have mental images of SAHM cooking nice meals for the kids, conducting meaningful activities for the kids at home, it's not a rosy picture all the time. There are some ups and downs. There were some days when the kids were extremely difficult, i just felt like running out of the house for a breather but I can't. At least while at work, some days when the going gets tough, i can reward myself with a nice lunch or something.
Don't get me wrong,I'm not discouraging you from being a SAHM. I've never regretted those years where i stayed home with the kids. In fact, the thought of becoming a SAHM is still there even though now i've gone back to work. Especially sometimes when the demands of work and being a FTWM gets too much, i harbour thoughts of going back to the simpler days of being a SAHM. But i do enjoy my financial freedom now, being able to dress up nicely instead of shorts and tees all day long, having nice lunches instead of a hurried lunch. My plan now is to build up my egg nest so if one day the caregivers (i.e. maid and parents and in-laws) don't want to look after the kids anymore, I will drop everything and stay at home again.
Any possibility of taking 6 months to 1 yr of no-pay leave just to see if it works for you?
Crystallized,
Congrats!!!!
Starz,
I can understand your dilemma. No answer which is the best way but here are some of my thoughts...
Car loan. Is it financially wise to sell off the car now? You've got a 10-year loan and given that car prices in the secondary mkt has dropped substantially, would the sales proceeds pay off the entire bank loan? Quite likely you will hv to dip into your savings to pay off the loan.
You have to be mentally prepared to lose all the financial freedom. I've been through it before. Hub takes care of all the expenditure and we are comfortable with a single income. But I can't bring myself to take money from him. I still had to give allowances to my parents cos I can't bring myself to cut them off a source of allowance just because of my decision to stay at home. So during the years that I was SAHM, i dipped into my savings and survived on income made from shares.
While some of us have mental images of SAHM cooking nice meals for the kids, conducting meaningful activities for the kids at home, it's not a rosy picture all the time. There are some ups and downs. There were some days when the kids were extremely difficult, i just felt like running out of the house for a breather but I can't. At least while at work, some days when the going gets tough, i can reward myself with a nice lunch or something.
Don't get me wrong,I'm not discouraging you from being a SAHM. I've never regretted those years where i stayed home with the kids. In fact, the thought of becoming a SAHM is still there even though now i've gone back to work. Especially sometimes when the demands of work and being a FTWM gets too much, i harbour thoughts of going back to the simpler days of being a SAHM. But i do enjoy my financial freedom now, being able to dress up nicely instead of shorts and tees all day long, having nice lunches instead of a hurried lunch. My plan now is to build up my egg nest so if one day the caregivers (i.e. maid and parents and in-laws) don't want to look after the kids anymore, I will drop everything and stay at home again.
Any possibility of taking 6 months to 1 yr of no-pay leave just to see if it works for you?
snowpooher
Active Member
crystallized,
My mum prefers surprise. She actually asked me not to scan for gender haha..
Actually my MS during jaslyn time is much horrible than with jolene. I mean actually I encountered difference kind of symptons.
I vomited more during Jaslyn time and had spotting till 2nd trimester. Dunno why, but during Jaslyn time, I wasn't kind of worry with the placenta issue. My colleague also told me the placenta will slowly moved up, and mine did move up during the last trimester.
Actually my hb has wanted me to be sahm ever since Jolene's arrival. But I got depression during maternity leave, hence I was back to work. Then it just went smoothly (and he didn't bring up the topic) until Jaslyn's arrival. He proposed again but I managed to "postpone" this request till age of 30, cos partly my mum is a good caretaker to them. Now the issue is up again cos the "deadline" is up. Few mths back, I was trying to "postpone" it again to age 35 or when Jolene goes Pri 1. I tell you, my last "deadline" will be when Jolene enters Pri Sch. My hb wants the children to go back home from school with the mother at home. Cos he feels that with mother at home, the children will be more discipled, 不会做怪. My hb is one who is focus a lot on moral rights. He felt happier when he's back from home, and saw us welcoming him home during my maternity leave. No matter if I do cook or he packs dinner home. It's a kind of homely feelings to him.
Another reason is, not only he, but I myself too, are worried with the planning and schedule when the kids go Pri Sch. We can't have the current arrangement (to bring them home on weekends). In fact I hope to bring the gals home latest by Jolene enters Pri Sch. By then she will need someone to study together with her, coaching her on sch work, which no one at my mum place can take over (I mean teaching and coaching on sch work should be done by parents right?).
By then, my sis should have married and move out (sis and her bf are looking for their new place already). Only my bro may be at home to teach them. In fact, my bro may be moving up to dayshift end of this year. That means no one at home can help to disciple or stop my dad from spoiling the gals (my dad scares of my bro. Now is becos my bro is at home, my dad doesn't really dare to spoil too much). There's a period of time that I almost send Jolene to childcare when I was still preggied with Jaslyn cos my dad was really spoiling her to the extend my hb also couldn't take it. You know my current schedule, my gals went back to my mum place on Sun evening and back home on Fri late night. Sat is the only day that they will be at home. Sun will be swimming class then to my relative place for family gathering. The gals dun have much time at their very own home. I feel sad when Jaslyn keeps telling me she wanna go popo house. And at times, she doesn't want to go back to her own home. You know as a mother, I really feel very sad.
My hb asked me, is $ really that impt. The kids will not lose a single fresh without anything. If we have extra $, going for enrichment classes are fine. But if we dun, we can plan for others. The kids will not lose out if we are doing our part in teaching. Going for enrichment classes are not the only way to learn things. Personally, I've seen many kids doing much well with a sahm at home and kids are much closer to the family.
To me, being a sahm, whether I like it or not, I will still do it for the sake of my kids and hb. It's only a matter of time for that big step. My hb suggested me to move on slowly (part time), he doesn't need me to quit immediately if I can't accept it. Frankly speaking, my colleagues support my decision, and they told me not many hbies will give full support to their wivies.
I'm not worried with the finance issue. I believed save a bit here and there, there shouldn't be problem, we just need to cut down visits to restaurant (like maybe to once a fortnight), going for tours, buying less fancy and bo liao stuff which I've been buying and turn our diversion to going park and beach (no need entrance tickets), window shopping, plan home activities (painting, cooking etc). I think I spend more when I'm working cos buying new clothings, bags etc etc v often. I'm only more "worried" with my zero contribution to my mum. I know she will not mind, but I just feel 过意不去。
My mum prefers surprise. She actually asked me not to scan for gender haha..
Actually my MS during jaslyn time is much horrible than with jolene. I mean actually I encountered difference kind of symptons.
I vomited more during Jaslyn time and had spotting till 2nd trimester. Dunno why, but during Jaslyn time, I wasn't kind of worry with the placenta issue. My colleague also told me the placenta will slowly moved up, and mine did move up during the last trimester.
Actually my hb has wanted me to be sahm ever since Jolene's arrival. But I got depression during maternity leave, hence I was back to work. Then it just went smoothly (and he didn't bring up the topic) until Jaslyn's arrival. He proposed again but I managed to "postpone" this request till age of 30, cos partly my mum is a good caretaker to them. Now the issue is up again cos the "deadline" is up. Few mths back, I was trying to "postpone" it again to age 35 or when Jolene goes Pri 1. I tell you, my last "deadline" will be when Jolene enters Pri Sch. My hb wants the children to go back home from school with the mother at home. Cos he feels that with mother at home, the children will be more discipled, 不会做怪. My hb is one who is focus a lot on moral rights. He felt happier when he's back from home, and saw us welcoming him home during my maternity leave. No matter if I do cook or he packs dinner home. It's a kind of homely feelings to him.
Another reason is, not only he, but I myself too, are worried with the planning and schedule when the kids go Pri Sch. We can't have the current arrangement (to bring them home on weekends). In fact I hope to bring the gals home latest by Jolene enters Pri Sch. By then she will need someone to study together with her, coaching her on sch work, which no one at my mum place can take over (I mean teaching and coaching on sch work should be done by parents right?).
By then, my sis should have married and move out (sis and her bf are looking for their new place already). Only my bro may be at home to teach them. In fact, my bro may be moving up to dayshift end of this year. That means no one at home can help to disciple or stop my dad from spoiling the gals (my dad scares of my bro. Now is becos my bro is at home, my dad doesn't really dare to spoil too much). There's a period of time that I almost send Jolene to childcare when I was still preggied with Jaslyn cos my dad was really spoiling her to the extend my hb also couldn't take it. You know my current schedule, my gals went back to my mum place on Sun evening and back home on Fri late night. Sat is the only day that they will be at home. Sun will be swimming class then to my relative place for family gathering. The gals dun have much time at their very own home. I feel sad when Jaslyn keeps telling me she wanna go popo house. And at times, she doesn't want to go back to her own home. You know as a mother, I really feel very sad.
My hb asked me, is $ really that impt. The kids will not lose a single fresh without anything. If we have extra $, going for enrichment classes are fine. But if we dun, we can plan for others. The kids will not lose out if we are doing our part in teaching. Going for enrichment classes are not the only way to learn things. Personally, I've seen many kids doing much well with a sahm at home and kids are much closer to the family.
To me, being a sahm, whether I like it or not, I will still do it for the sake of my kids and hb. It's only a matter of time for that big step. My hb suggested me to move on slowly (part time), he doesn't need me to quit immediately if I can't accept it. Frankly speaking, my colleagues support my decision, and they told me not many hbies will give full support to their wivies.
I'm not worried with the finance issue. I believed save a bit here and there, there shouldn't be problem, we just need to cut down visits to restaurant (like maybe to once a fortnight), going for tours, buying less fancy and bo liao stuff which I've been buying and turn our diversion to going park and beach (no need entrance tickets), window shopping, plan home activities (painting, cooking etc). I think I spend more when I'm working cos buying new clothings, bags etc etc v often. I'm only more "worried" with my zero contribution to my mum. I know she will not mind, but I just feel 过意不去。
coralmarine
Active Member
Jasmine, I'm thinking of bringing Char but not sure if I can cope wiht #2 around...
coralmarine
Active Member
Jenny, your big day will be coming soon huh? I also hope to eb able to be SAHM when Cahr goes to pri school. So gotta build up my icome nest and hopefully my bros will be able to take care of my parents since both will be working. And I agree when I was not working for the 1+yr at home I really spent a lot less on many things, bags, cosmetic, clothes, bo liao stuff and restuarants. And like your hb said, don't feel as if I lose a piece of flesh. Haha. Life was very enriching, but I wont deny there are times when i feel bored and less attractive cos I don't get to dress up.
But frankly, we have not decided if it'll be me as a SAHM or hb as SAHF. Somethimes I think he can bring up the kids better than me but being more MCP, it'll be very hard for him to do that role...still in the process of thinking, another 4 more yrs to go.
The most ideal arrangment is I can find a job that allows me to work half day while the kids are in school then fetch them home fromschool together at noon. Haha, wish list is always a great motivator.
snowpooher
Active Member
Coral,
Reading yr post makes me feel good cos I've been in confused mood for the past few mths. I couldn't talk to anyone else beside hb and a very closed colleague.
I'm half-hearted. On one hand, I want to be sahm to provide for the family, on the other hand, I want to work to "escape" from the kids. But deep inside my heart, I know I can't be selfish at my own end.
I'm scared of the thoughts:
- zero contribution to my mum (I feel I "owe" my mum cos she has been a great caretaker over the past 4 years + the care she has given me all the while)
- my tolerance to the kids (I can't stand kids cryings, shoutings, no patience with them, I scare I can't do a good job being sahm)
Wei Kuan,
You are considering for #3?? Then you plan to be sahm if really have #3?
Oh actually I wanna have a talk with you leh. Having some confusion with my thoughts, so I tot it might be good to have a talk with you to help me rearrange my thoughts. Will you be free to meet on sun when I'm back at my mum place, if not we "chat" over emails?
Reading yr post makes me feel good cos I've been in confused mood for the past few mths. I couldn't talk to anyone else beside hb and a very closed colleague.
I'm half-hearted. On one hand, I want to be sahm to provide for the family, on the other hand, I want to work to "escape" from the kids. But deep inside my heart, I know I can't be selfish at my own end.
I'm scared of the thoughts:
- zero contribution to my mum (I feel I "owe" my mum cos she has been a great caretaker over the past 4 years + the care she has given me all the while)
- my tolerance to the kids (I can't stand kids cryings, shoutings, no patience with them, I scare I can't do a good job being sahm)
Wei Kuan,
You are considering for #3?? Then you plan to be sahm if really have #3?
Oh actually I wanna have a talk with you leh. Having some confusion with my thoughts, so I tot it might be good to have a talk with you to help me rearrange my thoughts. Will you be free to meet on sun when I'm back at my mum place, if not we "chat" over emails?
snowpooher
Active Member
EZlink Card
BTW, I applied the child card for Jaslyn already. The customer service officer asked me how old is Jaslyn and when I told her 2+, she gave me a loud "huh... how tall is she!?"
BTW, I applied the child card for Jaslyn already. The customer service officer asked me how old is Jaslyn and when I told her 2+, she gave me a loud "huh... how tall is she!?"