(2006/10) OCTOBER 2006 MTB

Hi Haze,

I believe all husband & wife quarrel, sometime even for the most trivial things
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Some men have high ego "chi ran bu chi ying"
So have to use a softer approach on them.
Whatever it is, try to think positive.
 


hi Dor dor

Thanks for your concern... I am still hoping he wakes up.. yesterday night he was still like asking me in his loud voice.." ALSO DUNNO WHAT YOU ANGRY AT!! EVERYDAY ALSO ANGRY" haiz... another night of tears.. sigh***********

Delphine

I want to.. does he wants to listen? i told him to respect me a little in terms of being a human but all he does is side with his family and talk to me not even as nice as to a maid..All i want is a little dignity...But What can i do? i cannot complain to my mum or dad.. i scared later my dad bash him up.. and i cannot tell my sister coz i scared later she confront him without telling me at his office.. Haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... anyway.... Enjoy your trip K... =) no need worry too much about me k.. will ask you out for Kopi de.. heeehee... you know la.. when you are alone.. thing is.. you get bullied around a lot.. tell you the whole big thing when i see you the next meetup... Really dunno where i will be at if i hadn't had support from you and the rest of the mummies..

Thank you Mummies!! I know i can find comfort here... All your concerns.. I really really appreciate a lot..
 
H agnez

Thanks thanks.. i will try to think positive.. but if he dun change much.. no matter how positive i am into this marriage.. there's nothing i can do...
 
Haze
======
Pls tk care of urself, ur kids and the lil one inside u!
Think we tend to get more emo at this moment. just relax and think things thorougly. i believe sure have way for u to resolve this. is it cause ur HB dun understand how u feel? i am those that will voice everything i am unhappy out to let him understand how i feel.

Mommies
=======
i dunno why for this preggy i having super dry skin. My skin keep peeling off + my throat grow something quite swollen. edge of my lips is swollen as well. All happened so suddenly. Not sure is it too heaty.
 
Haze,
Hope you are better. I think I will do the same as you, whatever it is, think twice for the kids.
I think you both need some time to cool off first, before having a good talk. Talk it nicely, dun shout at each other. And dun use the word "you". Recently, I read an article in newspaper saying abt couples quarrel. Usually during the heat, all kinds of words can come out from our mouths w/o us realising. And in heat quarrel, we tend to use the word "you", which will hurts our partner w/o knowledge.

Adeline,
You seen doctor? For dry skin, can try QV cream. But your throat... dunno leh.

Grace,
This seller has a lot of BPs ongoing... I think she has confused herself. Give her some time to reactify.
Really need to take extra care when we join BP, there's a lot of cases just to name a few, the coach + LV bag, the 1st bblegs etc.
I realised the BP price is not tat cheap afterall. Take the frying pan for eg. I bought the hello kitty from the stall at $5, yet BP is selling $8 exclude postage. I saw the Doraemon frying pan which I intend to get for Jolene but the reply post from the organiser puts me off.
 
hi mummies...

forum was down this afternoon hor... cant post...

anywayz, A's party is over... after his photoshoot nex week, i can "fang xin" go give birth liaoz... hehehehe.....

as for A's party.. well, preparation wise, everything is ok n ready i guess.. but the "star of the show" was not... hb's family members arrived too early (n they are all very loud!) so end up, A's nap time all haywire, n he was very very cranky by evening time liaoz.... we only managed a super duper short photo session, n a quick round of birthday song... then e "star" had to be brought out for a "breather"... cos he was really really too tired out le..
as expected too (regardless of hb's "promise"), i didnt get any photos.. except for some crappy ones tat my bro took... now only *crossing fingers* that my guests managed to take nice ones on my behalf...
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as for my cake.. honestly, im 85% satisfied with the actual product.. but 100% satisfied with the baker's service, attitude n patience... cos i collected e cake the night before (i think she might have baked it even earlier), so by e time we actually ate it, i felt tat e cake doesnt taste very nice... decor wise, cos left out for so long, e fondant polka dots started to get "dragged" down by gravity... n the "best part" was, my auntie thought it was a toy, n went to touch it.. so e cream was smudged... luckily she only lightly touched it.. else i think i would have freaked!

here's e photo of e cake...

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hi Adeline, Starz

Thanks Thanks for all your care and concern... I am feeling way better with so much support from all mummies.. Ya.. will talk to him again sometime next week..coz i dun think we will be talking to each other this week... haiz... since Sat until now.. not a single conversation between me and him.. nevermind...and i know he dun mind since he got his friends and colleagues to talk to.. i also nevermind lo... coz i can talk in the forum.. worse worse ..i talk to my kids and helper and totally ignore him until he says sorry.. see...see... until now still dun understand it all started because he is so rude to me.. and subconsciously looked down on his wife... I will not give in until he pacify me.. that's the thing i am gonna stick to.. =P
 
Aiyo.. see i also mixed up liao... suppose to address my message to Adeline and Jenny... heehee

By the way Starz...

the cake really look nice and cute... it's special lo... =D perhaps can get something like that for my elder girl on her thrid birthday.. heehee....
 
<font color="ff6000">pups</font>
hehehe... mayb cos A's PD always give him e calculator to play.. tats y he went for it bah... i tot of "improvising" n adding his toy aeroplane to e items to select (i.e. become a pilot?!?!?).. but tat will b "playing cheat", cos he'll def go for it...
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<font color="ff6000">adeline</font>
hehehe.. for me, e "beginning" of feeling #2 pokes n movement was still fun... but now, im pleading with him/her NOT to move so much liaoz.. cos dunno is it #2 more active, or im more sensitive, very pain ar!! until at nite cant sleep....
hhmm.. ask ur hb wats wrong with not knowing??? since u got all e experience, plus all of Kim's stuff tat #2 can use for e time being mah... im almost there, n i still dont know.. heheehe...
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<font color="0000ff">baby walking</font>
hehehe.. my A also very cautious leh.. last week he tried taking approx 3 steps unsupported.. yesterday n today, he tried approx 5 steps.. hehehe.. very wobbly, but so cute.. too bad i stil havent managed to capture any video of it.. hopefully will manage to do so soon...


<font color="0000ff">#2</font>
<font color="ff6000">shirley</font>, about ur concerns for #2, actually i had the same too... before i had A, i always thought i'll dote on girls, n mayb not so close to boys.. cos i had tis fear of not knowing how to teach/discipline a boy (seeing my bro as an example)... but now tat we've had A, our perception completely changed. now im worried that i'll neglect #2 (even if its a girl), cos A being the firstborn, n (to me at least) such a good n happy baby.. im afraid #2 will "fall short" cos of the "standards" set by gorgor...


<font color="ff6000">coral</font>
ur studio photos very nice.... hehehe.. u got the "soft copies' back???
abt Char's birthday photos hor.. i'll burn into a CD for u...
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<font color="ff6000">haze</font>
so sorry to hear abt ur situation with hb... unfortunately, i reli dont know how to advise u cos im in a "reverse" position as u.. both hb n me working, but i earn more.. hubby knows very well i can survive very well with our 2 kids without him.. so if he doesnt cherish us, i will not hesitate to leave him... but i think e other mummies here are giving u very good advise... esp <font color="ff6000">bbgrace</font>... n <font color="ff6000">jenny's</font> point about not using the word "YOU" in your quarrels.. it always puts people on the offensive once u use tat word...
well, u can always drop by here, there r always listening ears for u around... but do remember to take care of urself, n emotions... spend more time with ur kids n talking to baby lor... preggy women r definitely more emotional.. so dont make any rash/impulsive decisions cos all these mayb very hormones-triggered now...


<font color="ff6000">adeline</font>
me too suffering from super dry skin, especially e skin at the corners of my mouth, will turn red n peeling 1.... somemore i cannot stand the smell of my usual moisturizers.. so can only use J&J pink baby lotion.. not strong enough to help.. but bo pian lor.. endure.....
 
<font color="0000ff">maid</font>
well... u all know i got a maid recently.. n i was "praising" her for being ok in her work performance n everything rite... she's still ok (in a way), but cos of A's birthday... my mum told me somethings which made me abit upset...
she said at e chalet, my maid:
1. said a few times (when she saw A's presents) tat she wants to keep/bring everything back for her son when she goes back...
2. during e afternoon, spent quite a while sitting in a corner, showing black face n dazing, not doing anything nor watching A....
3. she was doing some "gestures" in the kitchen when we were all taking photo/singing bday song.. that shows she's very "buay gam wan".. i ask my mum to show me e actions but my mum dont want...
4. when packing up (i was not around) my mum ask her to open up e playpen to put things inside. there's a hook tat needs to be opened before u can open e playpen mah... she doesn't know, n kept trying to force it open (of course pointless lah).. then she threw a temper.. n hubby scolded her on e spot... she cried....
5. sometimes she's showing abit of "attitude" with us liaoz...

so lastnite we had a "chat" with her, we were not fierce at all, n was talking to her very patiently liaoz... we just started n she starts crying liaoz.. say she scare we send her back.... after tat, i think we made our point clear lor...
but now.. i getting very very very paranoid.. dunno whether she's really ok or not... dunno whether she will bear grudges n start doing funny things to us or A or not...

somemore MOM will be calling to do phone interview with her... i didnt say anything to her during lastnite's chat with regards to this.. cos dont wan to be accused of "influencing" her.. so now also scared she will anyhow say during e interview...

then today cos im on leave, spent e day at home mah... i saw her stil playing with A ok n everything... but also saw she ask A to kiss her, n hug her (when she havent bathe yet after doing housework!!!) so told her off again... say cannot ask A to kiss her, n cannot hug/cuddle A when she havent shower.... *haiz*...

<font color="0000ff">btw mummies who saw her before... if u all have "seen" anything that she did/said please please let me know hor... or if u all have some reservations about her please also feel free to let me know.... thanks!!!</font>


*haiz*... i still didnt strike TOTO tonight leh... else i wld still choose to quit my job to look after my own kids.. n send her back... so dont hv to live in tis constant paranoia....
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<font color="ff6000">jenny</font>
i also dunno... i ask my mum is it "vulgar gestures".. she say not vulgar, juz shows tat she's very "buay gam wan" lor...
thanks again ya!!!
 
hmm funny... usually is like tat one lah, at first very good, as time pass by, they start all kinds of funny actions. Just monitor. If need to, you really need to tell her off.
Point 1: She's saying bringing the toys/gifts home, make sure she dun steal.
Point 2: Maybe becos Ayden was having her bday party, she felt lonely and thinked for her son.
Perhaps the party birthday made her felt sad...

I sent you the pics liao.
 
thanks.. i got it liaoz... gam sia gam sia...

as a mummy, i reli understand how she feels... which is why for the past 2 months we've been very "understanding and patient and lenient" with her... there r many a times she'll show us the black face or juz stand at the window dazing liaoz...
hubby juz "say" me lastnite, say i care abt e maid more than him... cos during dinner (they were sharing e beehoon leftover from e buffet).. i kept asking him to let e maid take enought first before he take..
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but hb said something also right lor... it was her decision to come to SG to work to earn more $$ for her son.. s since she made tat decision, cannot keep dwelling on it lor.. we treat her very well leh.. n paying her salary for her to do work.. we can't be paying all these $$ to see her "lian se" (face colour) as well....

ok lah, gotto go zzzzz liaoz...
chat again another time...
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<font color="0000ff">Haze</font>
Hope you are feeling better... i have probs talking to hb face-to-face too cos i tend to shed tears whenever we start talking. my best way of communicating wif him is thru emails or sms. i express better in writing and cos writing also allows me to go thru everything in my thoughts before shooting. hence preventing me from saying things that are hurtful.

i hope things will work out for you. try to control your emotions now that you are preggie. it might be the hormone changes that's causing you to be so sensitive too. men are really clueless sometimes. they simply dun get it most times. so dun get so worked up ok.

<font color="0000ff">starz</font> maybe your maid just misses home when there is a major celebration like that. she prob meant that she hope she can have the presents for her family instead.

i personally feel that try to give them the benefit of doubt sometimes and it might help cos being less paranoid, we wont "hu si luan xiang". of course must monitor them closely.
 
starz,
Your hubby is right. No one has forced her to come to SG to work. Feeling homesick initially is understandable. But to constantly dwell on it and show black face is not acceptable. Plus i think she's lucky to have understanding employers like you all.

If she continues to be like that, you'll have to talk to her again and tell her to snap out of it.
For this i have to admire my maid for her positive attitude. She told me that she's happy to have a chance to work in SG cos she got to learn so many things (she's so proud that she can now bathe and take care of bb), use appliances that she has never seen b4, eat new types of food (she has never eaten Macs or pizza prior to coming here). Plus she is earning 10x more than back home. So even now she is worried about the situation and her family back in Myanmar, she hardly shows it. Her only request was for me to let her take vegetarian on saturdays and mondays cos she wants to pray for protection of her family which i gladly accomodate.
So you tell your maid, the choice is hers. If she has decided to work in SG for the sake of earning more for her son, she will have to put her heart into doing a good job.

i also don't like my maid to be physically too close to my kids and she knows that.

But thankfully for you, your mum is home to monitor her. Right now i think just monitor her a bit more closely and see how.
 
<font color="0000ff">superhero party cake</font>
just wanna share my friend's son's birthday cake. very impressively big but workmanship not fantastic. couldnt believe it was from Shangri-la. Think those bakers we got here did much better jobs despite the hiccups here and there.

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<font color="0000ff">starz</font> i have some pictures of Ayden's birthday. not alot but hope good enough cos mostly les took the other babies around. i will burn them into a cd for you and send to you in case i dont see you soon.

<font color="0000ff">adeline</font> can pm me your addy cos i have pixs of Kim to give you in cd too. tks.
 
Joshua is still adjusting to me not being around.

Hub called home when we were on our way home and asked to speak to J. J was happily talking to him. Then hub asked if he wanted to talk to mommy and passed the phone to me.

Me : hello, joshua
*silence*
Me : Joshua, call mommy
silence then i heard sobbing
J : I want mommy to carry me *wail*
Me : Dont cry, mommy is coming home soon. Call jie-jie here
J : I want mommy carry.....*sob sob*

When i reached home, he came running to me crying "I want mommy carry"
This boy really manja with me.
 
here's a montage of caleb taken on sunday when we brought him to ECP for breakfast and a walk. like the centre pic very much. he was holding my hand and looking out to sea. looks like such a big boy. really make me miss his baby days...
1033255.jpg
 
Hi Haze

Hope u take god care of yourself okie.. Happy mummy=happy baby. My hubby also sometimes throw his temper at me... I also learn to bochap him and heck stormed into the room and shut the door.. next morning, we okay liao. Take it easy.... dunt think too much.. things will turn out fine..

Babygrace

you must be super heartpain to hear Joshua's sobbing over the phone. Gues he needs time to get used to you not being ard..

Starz
A's birthday cake is so special.. If you din mention that it was bday cake, I wld tout it was one of A's bday gifts hehehe..
 
selina,
Joshua would love that Thomas the train cake! Actually i think it looks ok compared to some 3D thomas cake i've seen before, except that it looks kind of messy cos everything on it, superheros, flowers and all.

kareen,
ya lor, i was so helpless when i heard joshua sobbing on the phone. Told hubby that i wont call and talk to him next time if that makes him so distressed.
 
Selina,
From the TTT pics, look ok, but will be better w/o the flowers and spiderman etc.
I saw SO 3D TTT before, super nice.

babygrace,
Aiyo, I will burst out crying man..
 
bbgrace
aiyoh i wld hv cracked in the car aft hearing Josh wailing.
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hope he can accept it better now.

Starz
so paiseh though i captured pix at the bdae, my camera siao siao n most pix ended up blurred. so angry. luckily Selina sent us the photos link n all the photos were great. mine cannot make it so din send u.
as 4 the maid, i forbid the maid to hv close contact wif R. i dun even allow her to play simple game tt my hb played wif R. this maid likes to copy n learn wat we do, so when we r not ard, she will imitate. i caught her playg the same game tt my hb played wif R n i stopped her immediately. i dun care if she is unhappy or not. i dun wan R to get too close to her, n the maid has to noe tt she cannot imitate wat we do. if i see her kissing R, i will sure scold her. so far she dun dare to do this in front of me. the maid oso go in a daze v often, a few times a day. esp when she is watching TV, n when my niece yells at her, she din hear!!!!
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bbgrace has given u gd advice on how to handle ur maid. hope its better soon. can feel u r v lenient to ur maid, n she probably is taking things 4 granted now. (er till now, i still dunno which one is ur maid! haha)

Selina
Caleb always got many expressions n i like to play wif him.
happy.gif
nice montage!
 
Hi Haze,
I dunno how to advise cos I'm nt in ur position. My hubby and I both earning sama sama so mutual respect cos we cant survive on our own.
I feel that u really need to have a good talk wif ur hubby. No point letting unhappiness simmer. Might reach boiling point then by then might not be a very pleasant scenario.
 
Hi selina, I've always enjoyed looking at ur montages. Caleb really looks like a small boy already. Yah... I also miss the days when my boy was juz a helpless infant.
 
Hi babygrace,
My boy also has the tendency to be manja esp when I go back to work aft a break. But I guess Joshua will soon learn to adapt. Things will get better once he gets used to the fact that mummy will leave the house for a couple of hrs everyday.
 
Hi starz,
The cake is special. post some pic of Ayden at his birthday party.
happy.gif


Hi Babygrace,
I will cry as well if i am in your shoes. give him sometime to adapt. guess he is big enough to know what is going on, hence cause this separation anxiety. while for emma, too small to know, only wants to play, gia gia, sleep and eat.

Hi Selina,
Caleb look so grown up now.. always full of expressions or should I say your hubby camera's skill is good?
happy.gif
think all of us here miss our kid's bb days..
happy.gif
 
hi selina,

The 3D TTT is nice! But i find it's a bit "over crowded" with the superfriends.

nice montage done of Caleb!

hi bbgrace,

J is still missing u in the hse... need to give him some more time to adjust....

hi crystallised,

did ur sis get the maid agency to talk to the maid? it may not be 100% effective, but it will still instill some sense into the maid.
after 10 mths, i cant take it and finally call my agency to talk to my maid.... been giving her too many chances already, hoping she can improve but, *sigh*...

hi starz,

think you may have been too lenient with ur maid. actually my maid has a baby too (3 mths older than tricia) but her baby pass away after 3 days after delivery... was feeling v sad for her and i was so scared that she will mistaken tricia for her baby, initial stage, dare not let her carry/handle tricia alone. but then, i agree with ur hb, they are here to work out of their own will, so whatever unhappiness or problems should not brought over loh...
 
hi mummies...

back at work, but no mood to work... spent e morning doing "spring cleaning" cos my mind wana go on ML liaoz... hahaha...
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<font color="ff6000">selina</font>
i used to be like u.. write letters to hubby during our pak-tor time whenever there r issues i felt we needed to resolve... dunno why, but after married i find it easier to talk le.. i also cry easily when talking thru "arguments"..but he's used to it liaoz...
love e montage of Caleb at e beach... he reli looks more n more charming as he grows older.. his expression like very observant as if he's analysing everything around him....
kao_smile.gif



<font color="0000ff">photos at A's party</font>
thanks <font color="ff6000">selina & jenny & all other mummies</font> for sending them to me... hope u wont find me troublesome, but if u dont mind, juz send me everything u have taken on tat day... even if its only of ur own lil ones.. i would like to keep it... <font color="ff6000">jRt</font>, i dont mind u send me urs too... hehehe.. tis is one "DESPERATE MUMMY"...
<font color="ff0000">thank you very much once again!!!</font>


<font color="ff6000">bbgrace</font>
yupz, we told her all tat liaoz... all i can do now is monitor her closely lor...
poor joshua... i would have burst into tears too liaoz...he's reli taking it pretty hard... *haiz*..


<font color="ff6000">HJ</font>
received liaoz.. thanks for sharing... i love R in her bikini outfit!!! sooo cute!!!


<font color="ff6000">gemini</font>
ur maid situation so sad... u only found tat out after she arrived? she work for u for how long liaoz??? how is she now??


<font color="aa00aa">thanks for the "compliments" on e cake...</font> let me go see if there r anymore photos tat i can share ya...
 
Haze,
sad to read that you are feeling so down lately. I think most of the mummies here already said what I wanted to say liao so here just hope that you will take care of yourself and take things easy.
It is easy said then done, I know but sometimes we just got to keep on going... jia you ok? You have us here okie??

BBgrace,
aiyo... reading abt Josh conversation, so sad...

Starz,
I also have a few pix on the kids during Ayden's party but too big to send over the email liao.
You want me to upload to yahoo group or somewhere else for you to access? Or burn CD for you??
 
<font color="0000ff">TTT Cake</font> Yes it is very nice and impressive but cos have been seeing so many cakes lately, i started to scrutinize the cake and realised the sides (in red) very badly done, the ends not trimmed neatly and can see them sticking out like a sore thumb. anyway, taste wise ok only. think those from PG or even vivian taste much better. so Shangri-la's cake no big deal to me.

actually the flowers make it looked ok cos it looks like it just passing thru a garden of sort ba.

<font color="0000ff">Caleb's montage</font> tks for the compliments on the montage and Caleb. Yes i like doing montages so I can have them as my wallpaper to look at every day.

Think nothing to do with the skill of the photographer. what we do is normally to snap multiple shots at any 1 time so as not to miss any expressions. anyway we got a SLR camera but basic accessories so cant do much too.

<font color="0000ff">starz</font> i will burn all the pixs for you then and send it to you. you dont mind I can post some pixs here to share with everyone. btw, you got the snapfish link i sent? Les uploaded all the pixs there so you can go view them.

<font color="0000ff">crystallized</font> yes think he likes to play wif you too. oh plse inform your sis that she has to pray i become real famous one day cos otherwise my staff purchase wont fetch much for her watch cos i was told need to engrave my name if i buy under staff purchase. tis is to prevent us from selling and making a profit out of it.
 
hi starz,

i only know on her 1st day with me. The agency tell me when she brought the maid to the house. she's with me for 10 mths. if i have known earlier, i may not have taken her at all... but now, she's ok. she told my mum, it's all fated and she has learned to accept it...
 
Gemini,
So sad for yr maid.

Starz,
I din take much photos haha... the cakes and agar agar, you got le bah? dun need to keep so many the same copy bah?
The rest are just pics of my 2 gals while playing... and a few pc group pic nia, but mine not nice one... have a few pcs Jaslyn with Kimberly one [<font color="0000ff">Adeline</font>, you want??]

Selina,
hahaha... maybe seen too many cakes since Sep bah hahaha...
 
<font color="ff6000">vivian</font>
eh... either yahoo group, or burn CD lor.. whichever is more convenient for you... gam sia...
kao_smile.gif



<font color="ff6000">selina</font>
no leh.. i didnt receive anything from u leh... i seem to have problems with my email, both office & yahoo... always cant receive stuff 1... can pls send to me again...
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post here i dont mind.. but can help me edit out e adult's faces??? leave only e kids faces there.. or post only those with kids??? thank you!!!


<font color="ff6000">gemini</font>
i see... but since she's accepted e fact liaoz.. n its been 10mths working for u.. shd be okay le bah....
 

Starz

I used to have a indonesian maid doing exactly the same stuffs you are saying.. but not for her son.. coz she's not married.. but a lot of attitude... she's lagi worse off.. she always put a very very nice front infront of my hubby and MIL ... so whenever i complain... guess what..they dun believe me... =( they ACTUALLY believe the MAID... grrrrrrrrr.... until one day, this maid scolded me infront of Kylie (while i was preggie with Kyra)...She threaten me say" if i cannot tahan her... send her back lor... " in her mindset is.. i cannot do without her...but becoz i am not used being threatened... I sent her back inmmediately... and when she reach the agency, she even told the ppl and the agent there i treated her badly... wth... damn her.. from then on.. i never employ helper until 4 months back i decided to give it another shot but with a different nationality ' Filipino' after all the naggings and persuasions from my hubby and MIL.. Think heaven pity me.. sent me a rather good one.. If you really think she's not suitable.. change.. coz I can understand you wouldn't want to become paranoic over stuffs with her being unsuitable..


Good News Mummies.. who have showered me with loads of care and concern..

MY HUBBY APOLOGIZeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Yeahhhhhhhh.... and he told me he will be more sensitive towards my feelings from now on... I am crossing my fingers hard that he would.. coz he ever promise me before...
 

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