(2006/08) AUGUST 2006 MTB
- Thread starter dear_dear
- Start date
noelle_wee
New Member
<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>
yes.. i do want to keep the baby.. i juz can't find the words to tell them.. and how to tell them.. i tink my bf parents would but he too doesn't know how..
u r 28.. i'm 20 in 2 weeks.. at least u have a husband who can look after u and have a place to stay..
can't i tell them later.. like a few mths later?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Thanks Peddie,
Yeah, I have come some long way & am blessed with a wonderful husband now.
It didn't start this way.
Would telling them a few months later help?
How would that solve the problem?
You would be delivering in less than a month's time right?
My friend's sis who was in a similar situation as you are delivered hers last year. She didn't tell her folks till she delivered. She didn't even reveal who the father of her child is (someone who's younger than her & didn't want the baby).
She wanted to raise the baby herself. However as the time drew nearer, she realised there are much more things to consider (e.g. the status of the child). In the end, she gave up her baby for adoption. The baby was taken away from her soon after she delivered.
Did her folks find out? Yupe.
Her father was a traditional stern man. Of course, her mother was more understanding. Things were definitely not pleasant when the truth was revealed. Both father & daugther are not on talking terms. Nonetheless, things have passed & she moves on.
When you mentioned that you are keeping the baby, does that mean that you wish to raise the baby yourself?
Not easy leh ... My current 2 boys is a handful already.
You do have to consider these factors. You are not alone k. Help is always available.
Regarding your BF, he's most likely as shocked or even frightened. Do you know what's his stand?
yes.. i do want to keep the baby.. i juz can't find the words to tell them.. and how to tell them.. i tink my bf parents would but he too doesn't know how..
u r 28.. i'm 20 in 2 weeks.. at least u have a husband who can look after u and have a place to stay..
can't i tell them later.. like a few mths later?<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Thanks Peddie,
Yeah, I have come some long way & am blessed with a wonderful husband now.
It didn't start this way.
Would telling them a few months later help?
How would that solve the problem?
You would be delivering in less than a month's time right?
My friend's sis who was in a similar situation as you are delivered hers last year. She didn't tell her folks till she delivered. She didn't even reveal who the father of her child is (someone who's younger than her & didn't want the baby).
She wanted to raise the baby herself. However as the time drew nearer, she realised there are much more things to consider (e.g. the status of the child). In the end, she gave up her baby for adoption. The baby was taken away from her soon after she delivered.
Did her folks find out? Yupe.
Her father was a traditional stern man. Of course, her mother was more understanding. Things were definitely not pleasant when the truth was revealed. Both father & daugther are not on talking terms. Nonetheless, things have passed & she moves on.
When you mentioned that you are keeping the baby, does that mean that you wish to raise the baby yourself?
Not easy leh ... My current 2 boys is a handful already.
You do have to consider these factors. You are not alone k. Help is always available.
Regarding your BF, he's most likely as shocked or even frightened. Do you know what's his stand?
Peddie,
Seriously you need to take our advise. You cannot support yourself. Did you go for regular check up? did you buy those vitamin pills and calcuim pills? Regular check up with the gynea is a must!. Taking those vitamins and calcuims pills it will help you and your baby to grow healthier.
And till now you have not prepare to buy anythings for baby? Clothes? diapers? bath tub? mittens? milk bottles? and many more.. all this are what baby need.. when your baby is out he/she need to wear clothes.
If no one support you and help you how are you going to look after your baby?
Don't you felt cruel to let your baby come to this world without anything?
and after giving birth is just not simply giving birth to it.. you still got to bring baby for injections and so on.. all this need lots of $$$$$. How about baby's name? you and your bf not officially married baby cannot name after his surname.
Diapers..and milk for baby are not cheap as what you think.. baby use at least 1 big pack of diapers per week.. and 1 can of infant formular milk can only last for 1-2 weeks and it cost about $20-$30 per can..
Are you sure you can take care of your baby yourself???????????????? You better think carefully
Seriously you need to take our advise. You cannot support yourself. Did you go for regular check up? did you buy those vitamin pills and calcuim pills? Regular check up with the gynea is a must!. Taking those vitamins and calcuims pills it will help you and your baby to grow healthier.
And till now you have not prepare to buy anythings for baby? Clothes? diapers? bath tub? mittens? milk bottles? and many more.. all this are what baby need.. when your baby is out he/she need to wear clothes.
If no one support you and help you how are you going to look after your baby?
Don't you felt cruel to let your baby come to this world without anything?
and after giving birth is just not simply giving birth to it.. you still got to bring baby for injections and so on.. all this need lots of $$$$$. How about baby's name? you and your bf not officially married baby cannot name after his surname.
Diapers..and milk for baby are not cheap as what you think.. baby use at least 1 big pack of diapers per week.. and 1 can of infant formular milk can only last for 1-2 weeks and it cost about $20-$30 per can..
Are you sure you can take care of your baby yourself???????????????? You better think carefully
leobbsmom
Member
hi peddie, i totally agree with wat the mommies adviced u above, and i hope it helps you to realise some facts n expectations in the days to come especially when the bb arrvies.
i'm glad to know tat your BF's sis is also expecting now, and it's a blessing to you and your bb! imagine the care and love the BF's parents can shower on u and their grandchild..
i seriously advise u to tell at least the BF's parents abt the bb, coz the bb might bear their surname.
and also, pls go and see a doc, and get watever vitamins the doc wants u to take. also the doc can refer u to a gynae and set up regular checkups for u. do u noe tat u need to see a gynae once every 2 weeks now? and there are alot of things the gynae needs to advise u..
u need help in all these areas, whethere u are ready to accept anot..i hope u will not delay this anymore..
are u taking milk powder tat are meant for moms-to-be? like anmum...etc? and pls stop taking cold drinks.
tell your BF tat u wan to tell his parents abt this, and see how he reacts. he cant be selfish abt this and only thinks of himself, and not u and his child! all thanks to him now tat u are in this situation, so he MUST do something!
if not, then go find a counsellor and at least u hv someone beside u thru this journey..
if u wanna talk to me, can email me at [email protected]
i'm glad to know tat your BF's sis is also expecting now, and it's a blessing to you and your bb! imagine the care and love the BF's parents can shower on u and their grandchild..
i seriously advise u to tell at least the BF's parents abt the bb, coz the bb might bear their surname.
and also, pls go and see a doc, and get watever vitamins the doc wants u to take. also the doc can refer u to a gynae and set up regular checkups for u. do u noe tat u need to see a gynae once every 2 weeks now? and there are alot of things the gynae needs to advise u..
u need help in all these areas, whethere u are ready to accept anot..i hope u will not delay this anymore..
are u taking milk powder tat are meant for moms-to-be? like anmum...etc? and pls stop taking cold drinks.
tell your BF tat u wan to tell his parents abt this, and see how he reacts. he cant be selfish abt this and only thinks of himself, and not u and his child! all thanks to him now tat u are in this situation, so he MUST do something!
if not, then go find a counsellor and at least u hv someone beside u thru this journey..
if u wanna talk to me, can email me at [email protected]
Morning ladies,
For those of you with DBS Black card and have stuff to buy @ Ngee Ann City, there is a current promotion with DBS Black Card, extra 10% off (in the form of rebates).. BTW, this includes Mont blanc, LV, Gucci, Fendi.. Tiffany's..
Promotion only for today!
peddie,
you have so far decided to keep the baby, but beyond that, you really need ot sit down and think.
Most immediate:
1) Where are you going to deliver??
- Since you are on a tight budget, please go to KKH as a subsidised patient. I think you need a referral letter from a polyclinic to deliver on subsidised rates..and while you are at the polyclinic, perhaps, you can ask them to give you iron pills (provide baby & you with more iron supply) as well as calcium tablets.
- Even with subsidy, you still need to set aside a sum of money...and you need to have medisave to pay for the hospital bills! Try checking out other threads on this forum about delivering under subsidy @ government hospitals.
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/36738/425223.html?1149684313
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/36738/89641.html?1149739504
2) You need to pack a hospital bag. See this link for a guide..
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/labourandbirth/planningyourbabysbirth/whattopack/
As you can see, it will be good if your BF can provide you with support.. who knows? it may draw both of you closer after you have delivered your child? A mistake has been commited by both of you by not planning for this pregnancy, but, you can make things right again, as long as you both stay positive and do the best you can!
3) Who will send you to hospital if you deliver?
- if your parents or BF's parents don't know, how are you going to get help to the hospital?
- Perhaps you would like to contact Fei Yue where they can provide some help for single unwed mothers and also provide shelter during this period.
4) After delivery, you need a place to stay & recuperate.. Imposing on your friends doesn't help in the long term. The cheapest alternative is actually to let your parents or BF's parents know.. They can provide you shelter and financial support during this period.. Parents want the best for their child.. just as you want the best for your own. Put yourself in their shoes.. and think how you will feel? Know that all parents ultimately love their children and do all they can to protect their child. Aren't you protecting your unborn child now by deciding to give birth to it??
5) Life after childbirth!
- What is your BF's intention??
- You are still studying.. postponing your studies now is a good idea.. but, after delivery, full time studying = no income to support addtional expenses of having a kid..
- 3 choices: 1) Let parents know and ask for financial support.. They can help you look after the kid while you go back to school. In return, make sure you do well! It will ensure you have a better ability in the future to support your child! If you have free time, earn extra income by giving tuition to help to supplement your parents' financial burden. 2) Convert to part time studying.. this means, you have more time for your child, but the process is longer to further your long term goals.
3) Quit school & look for a job immediately. This method might means, salary is low compared to getting your diploma/ degree and progression in career might be slow, though it resolves your immediate financial concern... in the long run, you need to have a good job/ career that you enjoy and can balance with family life in order to provide the basic needs for your child: shelter, food, school, medical attention.
please think things through, for the future of yourself, your BF & your child!
For those of you with DBS Black card and have stuff to buy @ Ngee Ann City, there is a current promotion with DBS Black Card, extra 10% off (in the form of rebates).. BTW, this includes Mont blanc, LV, Gucci, Fendi.. Tiffany's..
peddie,
you have so far decided to keep the baby, but beyond that, you really need ot sit down and think.
Most immediate:
1) Where are you going to deliver??
- Since you are on a tight budget, please go to KKH as a subsidised patient. I think you need a referral letter from a polyclinic to deliver on subsidised rates..and while you are at the polyclinic, perhaps, you can ask them to give you iron pills (provide baby & you with more iron supply) as well as calcium tablets.
- Even with subsidy, you still need to set aside a sum of money...and you need to have medisave to pay for the hospital bills! Try checking out other threads on this forum about delivering under subsidy @ government hospitals.
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/36738/425223.html?1149684313
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/36738/89641.html?1149739504
2) You need to pack a hospital bag. See this link for a guide..
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/labourandbirth/planningyourbabysbirth/whattopack/
As you can see, it will be good if your BF can provide you with support.. who knows? it may draw both of you closer after you have delivered your child? A mistake has been commited by both of you by not planning for this pregnancy, but, you can make things right again, as long as you both stay positive and do the best you can!
3) Who will send you to hospital if you deliver?
- if your parents or BF's parents don't know, how are you going to get help to the hospital?
- Perhaps you would like to contact Fei Yue where they can provide some help for single unwed mothers and also provide shelter during this period.
4) After delivery, you need a place to stay & recuperate.. Imposing on your friends doesn't help in the long term. The cheapest alternative is actually to let your parents or BF's parents know.. They can provide you shelter and financial support during this period.. Parents want the best for their child.. just as you want the best for your own. Put yourself in their shoes.. and think how you will feel? Know that all parents ultimately love their children and do all they can to protect their child. Aren't you protecting your unborn child now by deciding to give birth to it??
5) Life after childbirth!
- What is your BF's intention??
- You are still studying.. postponing your studies now is a good idea.. but, after delivery, full time studying = no income to support addtional expenses of having a kid..
- 3 choices: 1) Let parents know and ask for financial support.. They can help you look after the kid while you go back to school. In return, make sure you do well! It will ensure you have a better ability in the future to support your child! If you have free time, earn extra income by giving tuition to help to supplement your parents' financial burden. 2) Convert to part time studying.. this means, you have more time for your child, but the process is longer to further your long term goals.
3) Quit school & look for a job immediately. This method might means, salary is low compared to getting your diploma/ degree and progression in career might be slow, though it resolves your immediate financial concern... in the long run, you need to have a good job/ career that you enjoy and can balance with family life in order to provide the basic needs for your child: shelter, food, school, medical attention.
please think things through, for the future of yourself, your BF & your child!
Hi Peddie,
I totally agree with what all the mommies suggested. Think it's best for both you & baby to heed the advice given.
I do have some vitamins which I can pass to you if you don't mind (my body has never been able to tolerate vitamins supplement)...
You can msn or even email me at [email protected]
Do take care!
I totally agree with what all the mommies suggested. Think it's best for both you & baby to heed the advice given.
I do have some vitamins which I can pass to you if you don't mind (my body has never been able to tolerate vitamins supplement)...
You can msn or even email me at [email protected]
Do take care!
hi peddie,
think ur mum is still concerned abt u. i remembered dat u mentioned she'll ask why she r so thin or how come u put on so much weight recently. older people usually express their concern by commenting on whether we have grown thinner or fatter. guess perhaps u can talk to ur mum 1st. usually mums are more soft-hearted. of course, pls also get ur guy to be accountable for his actions. You could rom first so baby can have a name. You could then also move into your bf's room so he can also help to take care of u.
I also have a can of milk powder for mums-to-be which is unopened. Can pass it to u. Take care.
think ur mum is still concerned abt u. i remembered dat u mentioned she'll ask why she r so thin or how come u put on so much weight recently. older people usually express their concern by commenting on whether we have grown thinner or fatter. guess perhaps u can talk to ur mum 1st. usually mums are more soft-hearted. of course, pls also get ur guy to be accountable for his actions. You could rom first so baby can have a name. You could then also move into your bf's room so he can also help to take care of u.
I also have a can of milk powder for mums-to-be which is unopened. Can pass it to u. Take care.
Hi Paddie,
Totally agreed with all the mummies'/MTB's suggestion. Furthermore Jasmine had given you the details of things to look out for.
BTW, urs is boy or gal? if boy and u dun mind, i can pass you some of my boy's clothing as expecting a gal n got 4 yrs old boy.
Please email me at [email protected].
Do take care.
Totally agreed with all the mummies'/MTB's suggestion. Furthermore Jasmine had given you the details of things to look out for.
BTW, urs is boy or gal? if boy and u dun mind, i can pass you some of my boy's clothing as expecting a gal n got 4 yrs old boy.
Please email me at [email protected].
Do take care.
pupsandcups
Member
hi peddie
been reading all the posts, everyone is so concerned for you.
i'm currently with KKH.
under subsidy, you will be sent to clinc C and each visit is $27. you can purchase obimin, multivits for pregnant women from the KK pharmacy at $4.50 for 30 pills (15cents/per day to give baby the right nutrition), 1 to be taken daily. another recommended supplement by KK is neurogain which costs about $28 per bottle, if ure financially tight, i guess u can do without that and just make sure you eat lots of fish.
with a little help, having a baby is affordable.
i have more than enough obimin and would be glad to pass you some to tide over for now. if u need company to go to KK, let me know too.
take care, and i have you in my prayers.
been reading all the posts, everyone is so concerned for you.
i'm currently with KKH.
under subsidy, you will be sent to clinc C and each visit is $27. you can purchase obimin, multivits for pregnant women from the KK pharmacy at $4.50 for 30 pills (15cents/per day to give baby the right nutrition), 1 to be taken daily. another recommended supplement by KK is neurogain which costs about $28 per bottle, if ure financially tight, i guess u can do without that and just make sure you eat lots of fish.
with a little help, having a baby is affordable.
i have more than enough obimin and would be glad to pass you some to tide over for now. if u need company to go to KK, let me know too.
take care, and i have you in my prayers.
white_lady
Active Member
Any mummies having stretchmark ? i notice that in our 3rd trim , so many changes ! and the stretchmark just appear to be more n longer everyday !! so scarey !!
pupsandcups
Member
wat does your stretchmark look like? i dunno if i have ...
i have old ones from the past sobs, silvery lines along my butt area, don think i can ever be rid of them
i have old ones from the past sobs, silvery lines along my butt area, don think i can ever be rid of them
pupsandcups
Member
i have red dots that come n go, n my skin sometimes generally red .. but not in line form .. is that stretch mark? i rub palmers stretchmark cream night n day ..
pupsandcups
Member
i have red dots that come n go, n my skin sometimes generally red .. but not in line form .. is that stretch mark? i rub palmers stretchmark cream night n day ..
white_lady
Active Member
mine also like red dots , but slightly longer than dots .. Red n itchy !
pupsandcups
Member
do u gals still drink cold water? i drink cold water pretty often .. habit.
also how often shd we drink coconut at this stage? this week i drank twice heehee.
ya i heard stretchmark if have means have nothing we can do about it, cannot wear bikini liao..
also how often shd we drink coconut at this stage? this week i drank twice heehee.
ya i heard stretchmark if have means have nothing we can do about it, cannot wear bikini liao..
Hi,
talking about stretchmark I really feel sad
...... my stretchmark only appear on my 32wks. and it suddenly getting very serious, at first I only see few small short red lines (around 1cm). Just in 1 wk time, it > 10 lines already
.... I think is because baby gain weight alot in 3rd trim causing the stretchmark appear.
talking about stretchmark I really feel sad
white_lady
Active Member
hi pupsandcups ,
i also drank lot of cold water everyday , its mine habit too !
wanli ,
ya , me too , the stretch mark can just appear Suddenly ! And they " grow " very very fast than i expected ! so sad
Hi all , how abt swollen foot ? anyone have it also ? how to cure or prevent ?
i also drank lot of cold water everyday , its mine habit too !
wanli ,
ya , me too , the stretch mark can just appear Suddenly ! And they " grow " very very fast than i expected ! so sad
Hi all , how abt swollen foot ? anyone have it also ? how to cure or prevent ?
noelle_wee
New Member
Stretchmarks? I have! I have! Lots of them!
I was blessed for my 1st one as I had only a few streaks. However I realised I have them more during my 2nd pregnancy as I didn't lose much weight before I found myself pregnant again.
So I have personally concluded that they tend to appear more when our tummies get bigger & our skin is stretched tighter! Which helps explain why it's during our last trimester as that's when our babies start to pile on weight!
Ha ha ... Yes yes, anti stretchmark cream ain't helpful. What they do is to moisturise our tightened skin so that the stretchmarks are not as obvious.
Oh well ... That's motherhood.
My friend calls the stretchmarks our battle scars!
white_lady
Active Member
i notice that recently , my hand n legs tend to get numb very easily , is that normal ?? so many changes in my 3rd trim !
stretchmarks...
ya... heard from friend that we have to keep applying all the way up to last month, cuz at last moment also can appear.
pupsncups,
i do have cold water each day.. no choice, i sit very far from the water dispenser in the office, my first cup i will mix warm water, then fill up a tumbler (plastic) will cold one lor... have to keep drinking water to prevent water retention so i try to finish my bottle and also add on.
about butts... i even find it hard to turn round to look at my butt hahahaha... dunno if got red lines or not.. later bathe i try to see hehehehe
ya... heard from friend that we have to keep applying all the way up to last month, cuz at last moment also can appear.
pupsncups,
i do have cold water each day.. no choice, i sit very far from the water dispenser in the office, my first cup i will mix warm water, then fill up a tumbler (plastic) will cold one lor... have to keep drinking water to prevent water retention so i try to finish my bottle and also add on.
about butts... i even find it hard to turn round to look at my butt hahahaha... dunno if got red lines or not.. later bathe i try to see hehehehe
hi!
re: stretchmarks
still can't see them yet but can see spider veins on the sides of tummy and red itchy spots. have also been using palmers after my ms stopped. hopefully, can 'siam' having stretchmarks.
re: swelling
I have water retention for quite some time liao. recently, it's worse. went for manicure and pedicure and the person was saying that it's very difficult to remove cuticules and dead skin as my hands are very swollen.
re: cold drinks
am still drinking cold drinks every day. can't change my habit leh. but have cut down on ice-cream liao.
re: stretchmarks
still can't see them yet but can see spider veins on the sides of tummy and red itchy spots. have also been using palmers after my ms stopped. hopefully, can 'siam' having stretchmarks.
re: swelling
I have water retention for quite some time liao. recently, it's worse. went for manicure and pedicure and the person was saying that it's very difficult to remove cuticules and dead skin as my hands are very swollen.
re: cold drinks
am still drinking cold drinks every day. can't change my habit leh. but have cut down on ice-cream liao.
hi peddie,
why would he go to jail? it's only considered an offence if u r under 16. You need to inform his and ur parents. It has been almost eight months. Perhaps u can ask him when is he willing to do so. There will never be an appropriate time to inform the parents so why don't u do it earlier before the baby is due. Once both sets of parents are informed, a lot of things will be easier.
Don't have to pay for the milk powder. It's given by kkh when I attended the antenatal class. I din take it cos I din really like milk powder. I'm staying in tampines and hubby is working at Raffles Place. Can pm me if u want the milk powder.
why would he go to jail? it's only considered an offence if u r under 16. You need to inform his and ur parents. It has been almost eight months. Perhaps u can ask him when is he willing to do so. There will never be an appropriate time to inform the parents so why don't u do it earlier before the baby is due. Once both sets of parents are informed, a lot of things will be easier.
Don't have to pay for the milk powder. It's given by kkh when I attended the antenatal class. I din take it cos I din really like milk powder. I'm staying in tampines and hubby is working at Raffles Place. Can pm me if u want the milk powder.
noelle_wee
New Member
<blockquote><hr size=0><!-quote-!><font size=1>quote:</font>
noe.. cj..
erm.. the 1st time i met his parents was last year when they had a fun day thing.. he invited me along and i went.. but when i wanted to intro him to mine, he didn't seem so keen.. my parents still don't know abt him but they suspect..
i too thought it would be beta if he could be wid me when i tell my parents and vice versa.. i think his parents are easier to tell.. coz his other sister too had the same problem but at a later age..
well i asked him if he wanted to keep our baby.. he kindda changed the subject.. i repeated and he said that we can only afford delivery.. thats true.. and then 1) maybe find some1 to look after it 2)find a centre for adoption 3)tell our parents.. he said depends.. see how it goes..
yup.. his sister edd is 6aug while mine is 8/8.. both are boys..
maternity clothes? i juz use big tshirts.. i'm 1.73m.. so roughly u know my size.. v big..
he did tell me he was scared.. coz he doesnt know how to face my parents.. and I saw him cry..<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Hi Peddie,
You mentioned that both of you are engaged. Why would your parents not know him then?
When it comes to a young life, you cannot just say, "Let's see how it goes". We are not talking about furthering studies here. Tearing doesn't mean that he's regretful, it could just mean that he's at a loss of what to do.
If you truly care for the life that you have been carrying for 8 months now, you have to decide on what to do. Generally males matured later compared to females. Your BF sounds like he's at a loss so it is not advisable to listen to his advice at this stage.
Both of you have already made a mistake. It doesn't help to rectify the problem if you wait longer.
The mummies have been offering you advices, supplements, milk powder, newborn clothes, listening ear, etc.
So what is next?
I am not being harsh here.
When it comes to a life, there's more to think about.
Not everyone's comfortable to talking a counsellor indeed. It makes it seems like our problems are amplified. I didn't like it back then either.
The truth is, we need help.
I hope you see where I am coming from.
noe.. cj..
erm.. the 1st time i met his parents was last year when they had a fun day thing.. he invited me along and i went.. but when i wanted to intro him to mine, he didn't seem so keen.. my parents still don't know abt him but they suspect..
i too thought it would be beta if he could be wid me when i tell my parents and vice versa.. i think his parents are easier to tell.. coz his other sister too had the same problem but at a later age..
well i asked him if he wanted to keep our baby.. he kindda changed the subject.. i repeated and he said that we can only afford delivery.. thats true.. and then 1) maybe find some1 to look after it 2)find a centre for adoption 3)tell our parents.. he said depends.. see how it goes..
yup.. his sister edd is 6aug while mine is 8/8.. both are boys..
maternity clothes? i juz use big tshirts.. i'm 1.73m.. so roughly u know my size.. v big..
he did tell me he was scared.. coz he doesnt know how to face my parents.. and I saw him cry..<!-/quote-!><hr size=0></blockquote>
Hi Peddie,
You mentioned that both of you are engaged. Why would your parents not know him then?
When it comes to a young life, you cannot just say, "Let's see how it goes". We are not talking about furthering studies here. Tearing doesn't mean that he's regretful, it could just mean that he's at a loss of what to do.
If you truly care for the life that you have been carrying for 8 months now, you have to decide on what to do. Generally males matured later compared to females. Your BF sounds like he's at a loss so it is not advisable to listen to his advice at this stage.
Both of you have already made a mistake. It doesn't help to rectify the problem if you wait longer.
The mummies have been offering you advices, supplements, milk powder, newborn clothes, listening ear, etc.
So what is next?
I am not being harsh here.
When it comes to a life, there's more to think about.
Not everyone's comfortable to talking a counsellor indeed. It makes it seems like our problems are amplified. I didn't like it back then either.
The truth is, we need help.
I hope you see where I am coming from.
peddie,
your bf won't be jail lar.. cos both of you are over 18 already. And you both can get married anytime with your parents acknowledgement.
My friend also got pregnant at 18 and she got married after that.
so no worry...
I have friends who get married at age of 16 as well.
Your case you are not raped by your bf so your parents don't have the right to put him to jail lar.
Still the best solution is let both parents know if not you sure will suffer and regret.
at least both parents know about it they can help to solve the problems.
If you don't take our advise i guess its no point for us to talk to you again cos you only take your own advise...
Your way of thinking its just selfish. you never thought for your kid future you only want to save yourself from getting trouble with your parents thats why you don't dare to tell anyone.
but you never thought for your kid who will suffer when she/he comes to this world.
your bf won't be jail lar.. cos both of you are over 18 already. And you both can get married anytime with your parents acknowledgement.
My friend also got pregnant at 18 and she got married after that.
so no worry...
I have friends who get married at age of 16 as well.
Your case you are not raped by your bf so your parents don't have the right to put him to jail lar.
Still the best solution is let both parents know if not you sure will suffer and regret.
at least both parents know about it they can help to solve the problems.
If you don't take our advise i guess its no point for us to talk to you again cos you only take your own advise...
Your way of thinking its just selfish. you never thought for your kid future you only want to save yourself from getting trouble with your parents thats why you don't dare to tell anyone.
but you never thought for your kid who will suffer when she/he comes to this world.
Peddie,
not trying to scare u here but hv to agree with wat the mummies mentioned here...
there's simply no "wait and see kind of thing when here we are, talking abt a life..."
In fact, u probably might give birth anytime now, u know... there's always a possibiliy of premature labour like what i am facing now... u shd be in 34 wks now rite, cos' my EDD is 7 Aug while urs is 8 Aug.
not trying to scare u here but hv to agree with wat the mummies mentioned here...
there's simply no "wait and see kind of thing when here we are, talking abt a life..."
In fact, u probably might give birth anytime now, u know... there's always a possibiliy of premature labour like what i am facing now... u shd be in 34 wks now rite, cos' my EDD is 7 Aug while urs is 8 Aug.
Kelly,
I went to Dr Ang on Saturday morning instead cos' HB can't make it on Mon nite.
Guess wat... Bb is now 2.6kg at 34wks already! Dr Ang said bb is big and my gestational diabetes reading is at 6.4, avg shd be 5, so like u, sama sama, got to cut dwn on carbo.
but at least nt so worried now that bb is bigger. He oso mentioned that he wunt try to stop labour after 35 wks. so now got to bedrest for one more wk only! Yeah!
Oh ya, ur first child is oso delivered by Dr Ang rite? Did he do an episiotomy? And who is the PD that he usually partner wz? Mdm Chan helped me book Mt A 4 bedded oredi, she mentioned sometimes Mt A oso upgrade Dr Ang's patients to 2 bedded. is it true?
I went to Dr Ang on Saturday morning instead cos' HB can't make it on Mon nite.
Guess wat... Bb is now 2.6kg at 34wks already! Dr Ang said bb is big and my gestational diabetes reading is at 6.4, avg shd be 5, so like u, sama sama, got to cut dwn on carbo.
but at least nt so worried now that bb is bigger. He oso mentioned that he wunt try to stop labour after 35 wks. so now got to bedrest for one more wk only! Yeah!
Oh ya, ur first child is oso delivered by Dr Ang rite? Did he do an episiotomy? And who is the PD that he usually partner wz? Mdm Chan helped me book Mt A 4 bedded oredi, she mentioned sometimes Mt A oso upgrade Dr Ang's patients to 2 bedded. is it true?
Hi Peddie,
look... if u say u care and love ur baby very much, stop talking or even thinking abt killing urself, alrite? What others say and think shd not be a priority in ur life at this moment, ur baby is ...
We hear u... that u feel that ur life sucks at this point in time and probably in the past too... u feel no one cares or loves you but hv u ever given them (your parents) a chance to do that? think abt it, okay?
be strong... u've come along way already. Life is always full of ups and downs and it takes a lifetime for u to experience all of those...
think ahead ...
look... if u say u care and love ur baby very much, stop talking or even thinking abt killing urself, alrite? What others say and think shd not be a priority in ur life at this moment, ur baby is ...
We hear u... that u feel that ur life sucks at this point in time and probably in the past too... u feel no one cares or loves you but hv u ever given them (your parents) a chance to do that? think abt it, okay?
be strong... u've come along way already. Life is always full of ups and downs and it takes a lifetime for u to experience all of those...
think ahead ...
houseofpink
Member
HI Peddie,
I been running through the thread...
I know nw u feeling damm xxxx lost, worried, depressive, low esteem since u young n also from sec sch which is a big influence to us.
I was like u too in e past. I don look pretty nor have alot close friends only 1 handful. Maybe i look anti social or..
UR BF wont be jail. If u scare to let ur parents to know now, how will they feel when BB is out? Both of u still can ROM as long anyone 21Yrs above be ur witness don have to be parents if u worried.
I was once married when I turn 18 also. Lost, no career no nothing... JUST carrying a balloon n with a though caring gd hb BT abusive too.. LIFE seems so wonder when i finally got married (shotgun) bt its e life after marriage.Eventually i was divorced when e marriage last abt 3yrs.
Ask urself now... is he e guy N is he willing to care for u n bb too? IF he cant.. i rather u be a single mum which i know its tough BT there is alot of single mum ard.
Feel ur tummy now wit ur bb kicking, heart moving n everything N soon u be seeing him. HE IS E STRONGEST support for u now!
Courage is the only word u can use now. COurage to live on.. to face ur parents ur family. DON care wat other ppl say or look at u. U R old enf to make decision though of a small mistake now. BT living on good take care of ur kid is e best of all. THERE are mummies who are so good life, they have lot of bucks of $$ bt don even care or take care of their BB. U R greater than them!
ITs not easy to walk out of darkness.. I tried n tried n finally now.. in my mid 20s, i still haven found my career bT soon will be as i have a goal now.. ESP everytime touching my soon to born bb (i remarried). THough sometime marriage had ups & downs.. communications.. remember this.
U can PM mi...can share more of my past experiences wit u... i believe its abt e same we been through when i was young too..
Bless U. BE strong okie... though say easy than done. TELL URSELF U can DO IT!
I been running through the thread...
I know nw u feeling damm xxxx lost, worried, depressive, low esteem since u young n also from sec sch which is a big influence to us.
I was like u too in e past. I don look pretty nor have alot close friends only 1 handful. Maybe i look anti social or..
UR BF wont be jail. If u scare to let ur parents to know now, how will they feel when BB is out? Both of u still can ROM as long anyone 21Yrs above be ur witness don have to be parents if u worried.
I was once married when I turn 18 also. Lost, no career no nothing... JUST carrying a balloon n with a though caring gd hb BT abusive too.. LIFE seems so wonder when i finally got married (shotgun) bt its e life after marriage.Eventually i was divorced when e marriage last abt 3yrs.
Ask urself now... is he e guy N is he willing to care for u n bb too? IF he cant.. i rather u be a single mum which i know its tough BT there is alot of single mum ard.
Feel ur tummy now wit ur bb kicking, heart moving n everything N soon u be seeing him. HE IS E STRONGEST support for u now!
Courage is the only word u can use now. COurage to live on.. to face ur parents ur family. DON care wat other ppl say or look at u. U R old enf to make decision though of a small mistake now. BT living on good take care of ur kid is e best of all. THERE are mummies who are so good life, they have lot of bucks of $$ bt don even care or take care of their BB. U R greater than them!
ITs not easy to walk out of darkness.. I tried n tried n finally now.. in my mid 20s, i still haven found my career bT soon will be as i have a goal now.. ESP everytime touching my soon to born bb (i remarried). THough sometime marriage had ups & downs.. communications.. remember this.
U can PM mi...can share more of my past experiences wit u... i believe its abt e same we been through when i was young too..
Bless U. BE strong okie... though say easy than done. TELL URSELF U can DO IT!
weddingfairy
New Member
peddie,
after reading everything (your postings & all other MTBs postings), can i suggest u talk 2 a social worker? we can only help so much as we dunno ur situation, ur family background, etc.
i'm not trying 2 b mean or un-helpful but a social worker can help u in more ways than we (as strangers) can. the mummies here can pass u hands-me-downs or give u stuff if u dun mind but as 2 really help u wif ur situation, i dun tik we r equipped 2 give u any sound advice cos we dunno ur situation.
do seriously consider tis option BEFORE u give birth.
jfong,
tat's gd news for ur bb's size 2 b 2.6kg. i wonder wat's my bb size when i c dr ang tis wed (34wks+). my boy was 2.4kg at 32wks+. how come ur GD above 5 is above average while mine is above 7? my reading si 10.3 so dr ang told me 2 cut down on food intake, carbo, sugary stuff. *scratch head*
dr ang isnt my 1st gynae. it was dr esther ng. i tik all gynaes do episotomy rt? i not sure leh, will ask him. as for e upgrade fr 4-bedded to 2-bedded, dr ang said 80-90% of his patients get e FREE upgrade BUT if no FREE upgrade, just bo pian take e 2-bedded.
i also dunno which PD dr ang partner wif but i'm going 2 request 4 dr terence tan fr kinderclinic. he saw my 1st boy when i delivered back in MAH n he's a VERY GOOD PD. i'll use him for e 1st few wks then when my 2nd boy due 4 his 1st mth jab, i'll go back 2 e usual PD (dr cecilia lee) at tamp.
after reading everything (your postings & all other MTBs postings), can i suggest u talk 2 a social worker? we can only help so much as we dunno ur situation, ur family background, etc.
i'm not trying 2 b mean or un-helpful but a social worker can help u in more ways than we (as strangers) can. the mummies here can pass u hands-me-downs or give u stuff if u dun mind but as 2 really help u wif ur situation, i dun tik we r equipped 2 give u any sound advice cos we dunno ur situation.
do seriously consider tis option BEFORE u give birth.
jfong,
tat's gd news for ur bb's size 2 b 2.6kg. i wonder wat's my bb size when i c dr ang tis wed (34wks+). my boy was 2.4kg at 32wks+. how come ur GD above 5 is above average while mine is above 7? my reading si 10.3 so dr ang told me 2 cut down on food intake, carbo, sugary stuff. *scratch head*
dr ang isnt my 1st gynae. it was dr esther ng. i tik all gynaes do episotomy rt? i not sure leh, will ask him. as for e upgrade fr 4-bedded to 2-bedded, dr ang said 80-90% of his patients get e FREE upgrade BUT if no FREE upgrade, just bo pian take e 2-bedded.
i also dunno which PD dr ang partner wif but i'm going 2 request 4 dr terence tan fr kinderclinic. he saw my 1st boy when i delivered back in MAH n he's a VERY GOOD PD. i'll use him for e 1st few wks then when my 2nd boy due 4 his 1st mth jab, i'll go back 2 e usual PD (dr cecilia lee) at tamp.
augbaby
Active Member
Hi Peddie,
I am sure Catherine dun mean the way you interpret it. She is trying to get u to understand that you need to have a good talk with both side of the parents and cant be avoiding the topic and waiting to see how things go..It is because your due date is rather near, and you need to inform both parents. I am sure the hospital will need you to fill up particulars etc when yr day comes and hence you will not be able to handle all this by yrself. U have to be brave and no matter how difficult it is, you have to inform both side of the parents. It is time for you to have a good talk with your bf as well and make him understand that just by saying he be there for u thru words in not enough now. He needs to be brave for you and yr baby. I know the situation is not easy for you now. But since it is this case now and as mummies, we all love our babies esp when you can feel them moving and kicking you in the tummy, hence you need to tell yr parents or make sure yr bf know he need to tell yr parents this few days. Then together as a family, sit down and discuss wat is the best solution for this now. U have to think of the future for yr bb n his interests. If you both feel that you might not be able to care for yr bb the fullest, u might wan to consider putting him up for adoption thou i am sure, this will be a very difficult situation for u. But pls always think of the interests of yr bb and be sure that if u decide to rise him up, you need to be strong as there be many pressures along the way. The main thing now is that you both have to inform the parents..all of us mummies here care for u, that is y we all take the time to come in n post our messages to u, including catherine..i reali hope u take care of yrself n bb in the meantime and do not always mention the word killing yrself..u have to show yrself, others and yr bf, that u r responsible n strong, n that u r ready to take care of a bb. By behaving in this way, you are just showing others that what they see in u is correct. Please take some time n think thru all that we mummies have told u.. be fair to yrself and esp yr baby
I am sure Catherine dun mean the way you interpret it. She is trying to get u to understand that you need to have a good talk with both side of the parents and cant be avoiding the topic and waiting to see how things go..It is because your due date is rather near, and you need to inform both parents. I am sure the hospital will need you to fill up particulars etc when yr day comes and hence you will not be able to handle all this by yrself. U have to be brave and no matter how difficult it is, you have to inform both side of the parents. It is time for you to have a good talk with your bf as well and make him understand that just by saying he be there for u thru words in not enough now. He needs to be brave for you and yr baby. I know the situation is not easy for you now. But since it is this case now and as mummies, we all love our babies esp when you can feel them moving and kicking you in the tummy, hence you need to tell yr parents or make sure yr bf know he need to tell yr parents this few days. Then together as a family, sit down and discuss wat is the best solution for this now. U have to think of the future for yr bb n his interests. If you both feel that you might not be able to care for yr bb the fullest, u might wan to consider putting him up for adoption thou i am sure, this will be a very difficult situation for u. But pls always think of the interests of yr bb and be sure that if u decide to rise him up, you need to be strong as there be many pressures along the way. The main thing now is that you both have to inform the parents..all of us mummies here care for u, that is y we all take the time to come in n post our messages to u, including catherine..i reali hope u take care of yrself n bb in the meantime and do not always mention the word killing yrself..u have to show yrself, others and yr bf, that u r responsible n strong, n that u r ready to take care of a bb. By behaving in this way, you are just showing others that what they see in u is correct. Please take some time n think thru all that we mummies have told u.. be fair to yrself and esp yr baby
augbaby
Active Member
i juz went for my doc appointment on sat and bb is 1.7kg at 31wks n 3days...bb is now medium size..yeah...
bb head is facing down but doc say bb is not engage yet...n it wont be that soon..be seeing her in 2wks time again..i ask her abt the vaginal swab n she says be taking it in my 36wks or so...i look for nursing bras, but find that all of them r s
augbaby
Active Member
i juz went for my doc appointment on sat and bb is 1.7kg at 31wks n 3days...bb is now medium size..yeah...
bb head is facing down but doc say bb is not engage yet...n it wont be that soon..be seeing her in 2wks time again..i ask her abt the vaginal swab n she says be taking it in my 36wks or so...i look for nursing bras, but find that all of them r so ugly...either in beige or white colours...anyone know where else i can find nicer designs ones?
jfong,
wow good size baby.. make me look forward to my next check-up next week
can feel baby moving more today..
i tend to get sleepy now.. do u all? but i have trouble sleeping... sigh...
kelly,
do u know if hospitals rent breat pump when we are there? i wonder if i can rent and try out some brand b4 i buy?
gals,
i am getting swollen ankles i think... water retention ya? how to reduce? if prop up legs - how high?
peddie,
don't leave the thread, n dun get too upset or angry (not good for baby
being preggy brings on so many unknowns, and i can only imagine the worries and stress u have. even for me someone who is married and working, i have my fears too.. and this thread is a good place to share and learn.
we are not here to judge u, but i believe we all want to help if we can.
wow good size baby.. make me look forward to my next check-up next week
i tend to get sleepy now.. do u all? but i have trouble sleeping... sigh...
kelly,
do u know if hospitals rent breat pump when we are there? i wonder if i can rent and try out some brand b4 i buy?
gals,
i am getting swollen ankles i think... water retention ya? how to reduce? if prop up legs - how high?
peddie,
don't leave the thread, n dun get too upset or angry (not good for baby
being preggy brings on so many unknowns, and i can only imagine the worries and stress u have. even for me someone who is married and working, i have my fears too.. and this thread is a good place to share and learn.
we are not here to judge u, but i believe we all want to help if we can.
hi augbaby..
our baby's pretty much about same size
keke
i am alsolooking around for bras.. i havent changed yet, but getting uncomfortable .. i think i better get some w/o wires and bigger size I saw some at spring but haven't got time to go check it out.. some others at OUB raffles place, but quite expensive leh... about $60...hmmmmm
anyone can share ?
also, some nursin bra come without padding, we are supposed to wear the breat pads inside issit? i mean after we give birth lar hehehe
our baby's pretty much about same size
i am alsolooking around for bras.. i havent changed yet, but getting uncomfortable .. i think i better get some w/o wires and bigger size
I saw some at spring but haven't got time to go check it out.. some others at OUB raffles place, but quite expensive leh... about $60...hmmmmm anyone can share ?
also, some nursin bra come without padding, we are supposed to wear the breat pads inside issit? i mean after we give birth lar hehehe
Hi Kelly,
me also going for Dr. Terence Tan, since i will be delivering @ MAH... Do we book him directly ourselves? or via our gynae??
Peddie,
Try this helpline:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pregnancy Crisis Service (Family Life Society) - Unmarried mothers and mothers-to-be having trouble coping with their pregnancy.
Tel: 6339-9770 (9:00am - 5:00pm Mon-Sat)
(Answering machine after office hours)
here's the contact of Fei Yue..
Fei Yue Family Service Centre - Families or individuals in distress.
Tel: 6569-0381 (2:00pm - 6:00pm Mon-Fri)
Look at this website also.. http://www.flyinsolo.org/enter.html
me also going for Dr. Terence Tan, since i will be delivering @ MAH... Do we book him directly ourselves? or via our gynae??
Peddie,
Try this helpline:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pregnancy Crisis Service (Family Life Society) - Unmarried mothers and mothers-to-be having trouble coping with their pregnancy.
Tel: 6339-9770 (9:00am - 5:00pm Mon-Sat)
(Answering machine after office hours)
here's the contact of Fei Yue..
Fei Yue Family Service Centre - Families or individuals in distress.
Tel: 6569-0381 (2:00pm - 6:00pm Mon-Fri)
Look at this website also.. http://www.flyinsolo.org/enter.html
Hi Butter8,
I using clarins oil... but after applying it, i also apply nivea cream.. i apply twice a day.. FYI, clarins oil is best applied on moist skin ( after shower).. if you just want to apply like that, spray some moisture on your skin first..
For nursing bra,
can wear with disposable breast pads or even breast shells..
I using clarins oil... but after applying it, i also apply nivea cream.. i apply twice a day.. FYI, clarins oil is best applied on moist skin ( after shower).. if you just want to apply like that, spray some moisture on your skin first..
For nursing bra,
can wear with disposable breast pads or even breast shells..
weddingfairy
New Member
butter8,
i heard hospitals do rent out breastpumps but i dunno how long (i know MAH does but i dunno abt others - u may wanna call & check). not sure abt their rates but i know MIM rent out Ameda breastpumps at a certain rate. u wanna call & check too. i know MAH rents out Medela breastpumps but I dunno abt Avent breastpumps.
ALL nursing bras dun come wif any padding. u MUST buy breastpads.
augbb,
nice nursing bras very ex. i saw some in spring, dept stores, thyme maternity (all >$60).
u'll need abt 4-6 nursing bras, depending how often u do ur laundry. if u dun breastfeed 4 long, very wasted cos most nursing bras dun come wif padding or wired. u most likely wont 1 2 wear them after u stopped breastfeeding.
i heard hospitals do rent out breastpumps but i dunno how long (i know MAH does but i dunno abt others - u may wanna call & check). not sure abt their rates but i know MIM rent out Ameda breastpumps at a certain rate. u wanna call & check too. i know MAH rents out Medela breastpumps but I dunno abt Avent breastpumps.
ALL nursing bras dun come wif any padding. u MUST buy breastpads.
augbb,
nice nursing bras very ex. i saw some in spring, dept stores, thyme maternity (all >$60).
u'll need abt 4-6 nursing bras, depending how often u do ur laundry. if u dun breastfeed 4 long, very wasted cos most nursing bras dun come wif padding or wired. u most likely wont 1 2 wear them after u stopped breastfeeding.
pupsandcups
Member
btw are any of you gals have baby showers before giving birth? i am planning one, but wondering if its like not v asian culture n thickskinned heehee
my tummy is becoming vvvv itchy too.. v unglam scratching like a monkey all the time
my tummy is becoming vvvv itchy too.. v unglam scratching like a monkey all the time
weddingfairy
New Member
jasmine,
u get ur gynae 2 book him once u pop or u tell ur gynae in adv tat u 1 2 book dr terence tan.
u get ur gynae 2 book him once u pop or u tell ur gynae in adv tat u 1 2 book dr terence tan.
jasmine,
oops, i have been using all along without moiseture... shucks... thx for the tip..
kelly,
will pop into thyme today or sometime this week then... i think i better go buy + pads hehehe
i will check with my hospital next week when i go - thanks!! if not i think i may just buy one pump...
btw, anyone has a sample of a birthplan ? Can share?
oops, i have been using all along without moiseture... shucks... thx for the tip..
kelly,
will pop into thyme today or sometime this week then... i think i better go buy + pads hehehe
i will check with my hospital next week when i go - thanks!! if not i think i may just buy one pump...
btw, anyone has a sample of a birthplan ? Can share?
augbaby
Active Member
hi butter..
yups..hee hee...u mention the last time u bought some tube bra from a maternity shop in raffles pl..can that be use as a nursing bra? sigh..din realise that nursing bras r all so ugly one..i see them alr, i sian..cant imagine wearing them out next time when i need to nurse...all the bras r actually kept in a drawer..n only when i ask the salesperson then they bring out to show me..hahaha. for me, i bought 5 boxes of pigeon disposable breastpads, so i guess they r for putting into the bra to prevent BM from staining our bras i guess...??
yups..hee hee...u mention the last time u bought some tube bra from a maternity shop in raffles pl..can that be use as a nursing bra? sigh..din realise that nursing bras r all so ugly one..i see them alr, i sian..cant imagine wearing them out next time when i need to nurse...all the bras r actually kept in a drawer..n only when i ask the salesperson then they bring out to show me..hahaha. for me, i bought 5 boxes of pigeon disposable breastpads, so i guess they r for putting into the bra to prevent BM from staining our bras i guess...??
