(2006/04) April 2006 MTB

<font color="0000ff">Chenoa</font>,

Is personal. Need not groom lor. Where got so much $$$. Used to be a pretty swan (Hee Hee). Now an ugly duckling. Don't even wish to tell pp where I used to work.
 


les_petite,
Sorry for asking, why do you & your dh need to shift to your mom place? Most man do not like to stay with their in-law because it make them feel lousy. If you dun feel like answering, it is all right.

One way is to put some diapers, clothing, wet tissue, etc. at your mom's place so that you dun have to carry so much to your mom's place.

I have to agree with chenoa, $600 a month is quite high. There is also no more LV, Sushi, Mphosis or Starbuck for me ever since ds was born. In fact my wardrobe need new clothes badly because I looked like yellow auntie now (and smell like one too).

Can your saving tahan until 5 months later? If can, just put Riz into full time childcare and go and look for a full time job. At least you got your own income and keep yourself sane.
 
Hi mummies, am a May mum, but Nat was born late April. I sincerely do not mean to intrude. But as I was reading through the posts, it just urges me to say something. Am a single mum. Nat's father has not seen his daughter for more than 6 months. I asked for maintenance, but he's not paying. And i did not and do not intend to pursue. All the rest about 'us' is history. My parents look after nat on weekdays when i go to work, and I spend as much time as I can with her on weekends if am not doing any freelance work. Nat's still ultra sticky despite the fact that she only sees mummy every weekday morning, and the whole of weekends. Yes, am the only child, and yes, my parents are not working. Am paying for almost everything. I sometimes stop and wonder how I can manage, but I believe circumstances will force you to pull through. Having a husband, no matter how lazy he is, is better than having no one who can help out at the minimum, or to simply love your child - that's the least you can expect of a husband, don't you think so? Do you know what i mean? Learn to appreciate - attempt to mediate. Dismiss all wild and frustrating thoughts. That having said, it does not mean that you do not think of yourself at all - pamper yourself and prove your worth. You should be able to walk out there and proudly say that I am 'xxx' mum... 'This is what I have achieved, I am presentable, and am a great mum' - at least I believe. There's so much to live for - than to just rot away. I again sincerely apologize for rattling on. Your posts and stories struck a chord in me, and I think I should rightfully give my opinions
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petite,
how come your HB not paying for riz's child care as well? not even half?
sound like your marriage is on the rocks waiting for somethings big to happen man... but honestly in this era.. its no biggy any more... my mom divorced my dad when i was 11yrs old.. she brought me and my sis up.. so i always feel that i can bring up my gal alone... of cos with my moms help la.. should me and HB can't live together anymore.. having a child now i think nothink is more impt than her now!! i can live without HB but now my bb!! not advicing you to divorce but if you can be financially stable then you have nothing to b afraid of... afterall... anything can happen in life... i believe not your husband until death...
 
yes shylyn, this teething is causing me alot of headache too... cranky... lao sai.... flu... for 2 haf week liao....
 
<font color="0000ff">Draik</font>, Is ok. Cos If I plan to go back to my old job, I will need some1 that I can trust & take care my bb. Also in case I am employing a maid. We felt that we can't leave bb alone with a maid too.

Well frankly speaking, I don't nod if I can last another 5 mths. Maybe can. Cos My HB still own me MY C-sect bills. Using those $$ that he own me to pay my bills.

Actully my marriage is not on the rock. Still consider stable. Maybe is just that I worry alot. I am the type that plan for rainning days while my HB dictionary have no rainng days.

And the biggest problem is we can't communicate well. Cos he don't want to listen. He rather wait for the boat to come and everything will be fine.

Ever since when I was pregnant with Riz, I aridi worry abt my $$$. Cos he not paying for my things. Even when I needed to buy pregnancy clothing. So maybe that's y I ended with a hard delivery, stress!

And also his temper is bad. Abit angry. I remember when I was in labour, I did not want to take Epidural. I was trying to hold back. He got fed up and walk out of the delivery rm without telling me where he is going.

After delivery, the 2nd day, I was feeling dw, Cos my MIL keeps on want me to give bb FM when she knew that bb don't want to suck. I had a hard time then. Even the nurses tried to teaching me but Riz just don't want to latch on. He cries and cries and I heart pain. So that nite, I saw alot of gifts and flowers around by bed. I got up and tried to tidy up, Not feeling good, so I showed face at my HB. My HB lose his temper and throw everything into the dustbin including the hospital spoon. When I told him what he had done, he screamed at me. He don't even care if he disturb others at the side. The next day I hv to say sorry to him just to patch up things. Maybe I am too much too.

In short, If I can tahan him, everything will be fine. But those things are kept under the blankets and are waiting to be explode.
Is just a matter of time only. For better or worst, I can't tell yet. But I nod he loves his family.

Btw, thanks to hv all of you that I can communicate with. If I keep it in myself, 1 day I will go mad. Ha Ha

<font color="0000ff">Mom_yam</font>, sorry no time to reply you. Tks for yr advice too. Catch up with you soon.
 
Well, poor les_petite,
I also dunno how to handle a bad temper husband because I also have one. I dunno if I should count myself lucky a not that mine do not scream at me, but will hit, bang and scream at anything else. I can feel that he loves me but I cannot stand his bad temper too.

Mom_yam, where are you hiding now? Kind of miss you already.
 
yvonne,

You are a very strong woman.. salute you for all that you have gone thru..do take care..

petite,

Sorry to hear about all those that you have gone thru.. I do bring a hugh bag pack of stuffs over to my mum's place when I go over on my own, yes it is troublesome to have to prepare the items to bring over... I have to prepare my girl's lunch and dinner b4 I go over.. take the MRT to Jurong from TPY sometimes.. but it is a real relief when my parents are able to help out.. gives me back my sanity
 
Hi petite,

Sorry if you are offended in anyway by what I am going to say. Coz you sounded as if you have got a terrible hubby in my perspective.
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Ask yourself if he is really that bad??? N since he has so many weakness which you cannot tolerate then y in the 1st place you have chosen him as your life-long partner? I am sure he muz have strengths which you truly appreciate and finally decided that he is the right one for you out of many suitors* (I believe you had since a flight attendant supposedly must be pretty to be one mah).
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If you have watched the 9pm show on channel8, you should have seen how Huang Biren n Tay Binghui when treated each other like enemy, can easily list out tons of each other's weaknesses which filled up the whole whiteboard but not a single word when it comes to strengths. This is so when we only focus on the "bad side" of our partner.

Also, are you into depression? which is what my hubby jokingly asked yesterday after hearing your stories thru me all this while.

Lastly, I would like you to know that if I were your hubby, I would be deeply hurt to have seen all your writings here about him (no doubt even if they are facts).
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Draik, come let me Kissssssssssss you hahaa. I'm here most of the time lei, but the thread so quiet i scare lei. heee

Since i disappear so long, let me have a long long message to bored all of you.

Every family has their set of problems, just that how we handle it and how we see it.

It takes petite a lot of courage to post her family prob here, esp some of us seen her and know her. So we should showered her with more concern and care as this is the only source that she can seek comfort with.

Which I sort of worry for petite now as what bblim mentioned the word "Depression". i've been thru that stage of depression which seriously is no joke. it takes a lot of mind will and effort to be out from there.

Just like girls like hunniepot, we see her so cheerful and happy and always so helpful to everyone's problem. Who will think that she actually face prob with a kopi aunty who trying to make her feel like as if she smells like rat. If her parents are not so supportive and dont travel from one end of s'pore to another end, i'm sure she will also go crazy.

Like what Chenoa says the image that SAHM face. Not all SAHM will look pretty and i understand, although i have a maid but isaac is so sticky that i couldnt really dress up. Also, he is so active that makes me sweet like pig. and somehow i dont kw why after birth i seems to be sweating machine hahaha.

whatever it is, woman are all very wei da one.. that's why we should give it to those who really sacrifice for their children and be a stay at home mom. And those who has very little support (be it nanny, hubby, maid, parents or parents in law).

I always feels we women should still maintain friends. be it new friend, old friend as long they give you a good warm hug and tells you hey, you have done your best. Those are good friends.

BBlim, not a lot of pple kws what are their long term partners are exactly are until things happen.

Some guys are good in making money but not a very good family man. Some guys are good in sweet talking but are NATO. Some guys are jusy good in everything which is really hard to catch lei. Even we choose fish in the market also sometimes the fish is not as fresh as what we think.

yvonne, if you are reading this.. WELL DONE for being a great single mom to your child. Is not easy to be a mom, a dad, a employee, a daugther.. But you have done it all for your child
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Petite
Take care..dun get yourself too worried abt minor stuffs..there are many other things which need your concern & time..like mentioned earlier by a few ladies, try to focus on the positive aspects, i mean, why did u marry ur hub in e 1st place? There must be something which attracted u to him..else u wouldn't hv got married right? Try to work on this positive aspect & overcome e negative..marriage is for life..i know i'm being very positive cos not everyone will agree on this..but being married, u hv to be responsible to each other & especially so if u have children. Children are the ones who get hurt if they see their parents do not get along with each other.
 
Hunnie
My case similar to u..cos every weekend is moving house for us, cos i'll bring ivec back to my parents' place to stay over e weekend..so there's a lof of stuffs to be brought back. In fact, i look forward to weekends..cos w my ils staying in my place, i feel tt my home is no longer mine..
 
Home is no longer mine:
This remind me of 1 issue. I staying with IL during weekend, this house (so call of hubby's house, cos he pay the installment) and give allowance to IL every month. But i restricted to do thing in this home. One fine day, i have clean up our room and there are some bedsheet & pillow case (2 single bed/10 pillow case)...etc to be washed. When i dump everything in washing machine, SIL say : <font color="0000ff">Too little, better hand wash, dont waste water & electricity. If want to use washing machine, then put some more in</font>. Then i ask hubby to take all blanket...etc to dump in. Wah lau....i just want to do my work also have restriction, then hubby say : <font color="aa00aa">next time dont wash, just leave all the thing beside washing machine, then they will settle</font>. If i just leave the thing there, later they complaint i do nothing. Haiz...life is so difficult......

Now i just count down for another 5-6 months...
 
Mommies who have problems have home, guess it's best to discuss with hb for a solution. Nothing is easy and sometimes we just have to take one step back too coz we have our little ones to think about.

Really now with the kid, I hardly been up to cleanliness standards if you talk about home or in fact my own room coz we live with IL. Even with just a room we hardly have time to clean up. Muz be thankful that my girl is quite hardy for now. Some times we just have give ourselves a break at the expense of minor things we can be forgone for awhile...
 
Hey mom_yam/ les_petite,

Pls dun be mistaken ler. I have nothing against les pouring out her woes here.
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But as we know this is an open forum where anyone can access, so I am juz worried that wat's gonna happen if one day les' DH find out about all her postings here, the consequences wld be dire. Coz most of the time when we talked bad about our spouse, it is only in a fit of anger and dun really mean it but by putting up here means everyone will know and more or less affect our 1st impressions of him and somemore can relate to the face we see in our album lor.
 
I can tell you a real life example which I came across in this forum some years back. There was this gal who had some problems with ILs and her relationship with DH?/ fiance? was strained as he was sandwiched in between. Then she poured her woes here in one of the threads like wat les is doing. And sway sway her SIL (DH's sister) who also frequent here, came accross her postings one day n went back to tell her parents. Tink she careless lar revealing to ppl that she also comes to this forum.

Actually I oso like that ler, my family n DH's family all oso know I frequent this forum. Somemore I tell them is this particular thread lor coz I hac care lah, nothing to spy anyway. But recently I started my own blog n diverted my pouring to there instead. Hehehe....

My cousin who also a member here told me that she saw my gal's 1st birthday foto n her birthday cake here too while searching for pics of cakes designs for her boi, thou I din tell her my nick.
 
bblim,
you got a point here. We like to post pictures of our babies and even our pictures sometime. We dun know who is stalking us. Hahaha.

However, sometime it is also good to pour our problems somewhere before we go insane. I read in another forum, somebody just commited suicide because of a depression. It was so sad. I have been through a depression before and it was really horrible. You just need listening ears and console when you are really depressed.

Well, every household got their own difficult bible (in chinese).

Mom_yam, post more lah, dun just read only lah. You can bring more joy to this thread. I like to read your posting leh.
 
PETITE..
my hb oso tot mayb i'm going thru a depression cos seems like my temper has been very bad after i gave birth and snap at him everything he does that dun go my way...well mayb i do... but can he blame me? i'm stuck with bb 24.7 with no personal time... and no help from him even when he's home.. when he's at work he has his own time but i dont... i need some breathing space too...
but anyw ever since i went for serveral interviews and meeting up with my ex collegues i actualy m looking forward to going back to work and i think im happier now...i think mayb go back to work then wun think so much...
well if can tahan to save the marriage its good but even a rubber band has its limit...
i think if you want to save your marriage mayb you should teach your hb a lesson..when i cant take my hb's nonsense i'l lve the hse n b uncontactable...one time when he went partying... i did too... n i asked him 2 cum hm early 2 look after bb....
men are insensitive creatures... they tend to take things 4 granted so mayb its time 4 a wakie up call for him....

ps.. if you need to 'dissappear' you r welcome to come over to my hse.....=)
 
strawberry,

where are you putting Gab while you work? And how did u manage to wean her off breast? Aiyo, I oso buay tahan liao, tinking of looking for a job but veri worried dunno how my gal gonna to sleep if she dun get to nurse during daytime. Somemore I still have got to latch her to sleep until now even in the middle of nite. No latch = no sleep.
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hi BBLIM,
i actually havent started work yet but hopefully will start soon within the next couple of month. will b puttin GAB in child/infant care.. will be moving to stay with my grandma so she can overlook the house hold matters while we work. i haven't wean GAB off yet... i actually enjoy BF and i think i will miss it a lot. yes she still nurse to slp sometimes. but nowadays i dun cos she "lau sai" so i feed her milo with FM then switch off lights and TV and lie down with her. she'l fall aslp within 20mins sometimes faster depends on how tired she is.
have no choice... gotta train now if not if i start work my mom and hb headache.. takes time and a lot of patience but i'm sure we'll get thru this...
well keep me posted if you come up with a new method okie...
 
strawberry,

so good for u, at least your gal still willing to drink milo. For mine if dun latch her, she will keep fussing n refuse to sleep even with the lights off so really no choice but to give in as I worry it will disrupt my hubby's sleep if she dun stop.
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draik,

can't get in ler. Got to register as member in order to read. How to register huh? can't find the registration page ler.
 
bblim

i think you may to get your hb to move to another room while you train your girl... no choice i think you just have to let her cry and fuss for a few days.. it took my girl at least a week b4 she is able to slp thru the nite... i just let her cry... after that she'l slp thru.. even if she cries now i don bother and dun give in..crying takes up a lot of energy so i think your girl will slp eventually but you have to be patient....
 
strawberry, I tried this crying method but she will cry till she vomit out. How long does your gal cry and do you stay wif her when she cry? Now I am very dependent on feeding fm before her bed time and by then she drowsy and sleep. But day naps I have problem. Gotta carry her then she will sleep. Sometimes takes very long..
 
Hi mommies

My little girl at 13 months old couldn't sleep thru' the night and infact never. Now she doesn't want to sleep in baby cot and ended up sleeping with me every night. One sat afternoon, I've tried to put her in bed and let her cry but she'll stand on the bed and her cries continue for more than an hour and make me really heartache! I'm staying with my mum on weekday and my mum is taking care of her. She's also has problem taking nap, each nap may last only 20mins. Any advise?
 
JasC,

The follow me method works for me. My girl is also sleeping with me. So I will pretend to sleep on the mattress. She will play around me then come and lie next to me after 15 min and sleep herself.

Have to be patient lor. It doesn't work all the time.
 
Has anyone got this Leapfrog Learning DVDs 5-Pack (Talking Words Factory / Talking Words Factory II / Learn to Read at the Storybook Factory / Letter Factory /Math Circus) for your darlings? Is it really good? Tot of buying. Pls share your feedback. Thanks in advance.
 
hi all
my girl is 12mth plus and still doesnt sleep through the nite. .now its worse she will wake up at four plus five plus then wake up at seven thirthy.

and she doesnt take any formula or milo which i tried lia.

strawberry,
i did try the crying out method but my stupid husband will always ask me to breastfeed her after she cry more than ten mins. so it never work. but on the other hand i am afraid she is hungry leh .
what am i suppose to do???
 
Hi matsu,

guess we suffered the same fate.
sad.gif
My gal too does not sleep thru the nite. Got to nurse her 4-5 times for past few nites coz she got frights during daytime. If not, usual nites would be 2-3times. But luckily, I dun need to work so juz pray hard that this phase will pass quickly. So cheer up as your case does not seem as bad as me.
 
Hi bblim,

Yes I have those DVDs, the entire set.. but dont find it that good leh.. my girl dont really seem to appreciate at this point in time
 
Hi all,
really have to b patient lor... at this pt in time if you feed them well b4 they slp they sud be able to last til ard 6-7am.. in the mid of the nite if gab wakes i'l let her cry.. she'l cry for i think 20mins max then fall aslp... i pretend to slp.. very irritating but wat to do?? it lasted for almost a wk and a haf... initially my HB oso ask me to feed her BM but i told him off if he want short term suffering or long term suffering.. aft that he nv bring it up again... you have to cont do it for a few days can't do today and tomorw... heart pain and stop for a few days and cont again... wun work...
when bb wakes up ard 6-7am i'll feed her cos then i think she's really hungry.. then gab will slp again til ard 8am plus b4 she bugs me again...
PS: my last feed is ard 11pm+
 
bblim,
the DVDS are targeted for children from age 3, so its presentation (cartoon and story dialogue)may not appeal to younger kids. I believe the content will benefit older children. Bought for 3+ nephew but heard that he still prefers Barney - but then, Barney is a different concept. Younger tots will prefer more music and movements, and i find that my gal loves puppets but not cartoons.
 
hunnie/ chenoa,

really huh. Alamak, have actually ordered 1 set but not yet paid up. But started to have 2nd tots now after hearing your feedbacks coz what interests me most is the phonics it teaches. Do you think our darlings are able to pick up the phonics at this stage?

Then wat about baby einstein? Is that as good in terms of educational value? Coz gonna ask my DH to get it from Shanghai if that is more suitable for toddlers of 1yos. Heard is selling cheaply like S$20++ only over there.

Thanks all for your valuable feedbacks.
 
<font color="0000ff">Japan Tokyo F&E</font>

Anyone planning to go or has been there before? Can share your itinerary with me, pls? Making plans to bring my gal to Disneyland there on this Sep/Oct when my DH goes on biz trip.
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bblim,
keep until she's ready for it lor.
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my gal watches bb einstein. It's a compulsory entertainment when she have her meals. Educational content ... well, there's hardly any narration besides the learning words related to the theme. Presentation is continuous music, puppets, real live images and illustrations. If you want more narration, can check out Brainy Baby. http://www.brainybaby.com/compare.html
 
bblim
the bb einstein you taling about is the whole set for $20++?? i bot the whole set of 23 dvds for $99... if so then i'm ripped off liao...

yes gab likes to watch it compared to brainy bb... she'l b glued to it for a while. so i let her watch in the AM while i catch a few more mins of slp... hee heee...
 
strawberry & bblim

My friend got me a set of the baby einstein VCDs from shanghai as well.. and if Im not wrong it costs just $10 - $20, and it is pirated.. cant play some of the vcds on my machine

You may want to consider my baby can read, baby signing times or tiny love magiq.. my girl loves these vcds too
 
strawberry,
Not too sure if it's the same one as you bot coz I only happened to read about it from one of the threads. Most probably is pirated??? ones as the gal mentioned her DH got them in China. Whatever it is, you still have to take into consideration the shipping charges incurred n profits the seller needs to earn if buy in Spore.
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Hi all

I've tried Brainy Baby and Baby Einstein on my boy when he was ard 5-6mths, but he absolutely had no interest in them. Probably I tried on him too early; he might like them now. I've since sold them off, late last yr.... kinda regretting now. I had 2 Brainy Baby VCDs and 1 Baby Einstein DVD.

Now he's into Baby Signing Times, My Baby Can Read and Wheels on the Bus VCDs. I just rotate them so that he does not get bored.

He's learned to sign a couple of words, like please, car, dog. And he recognises the word dog when it comes on in the My Baby Can Read VCD. He'll slap his thighs when he sees the word dog on the tv screen, even before the narrator speaks. That's how u sign dog.

Then he dances along to the Wheels on the Bus VCD. He'll sway left and right, and turn his head.

He's learning to appreciate music now. So whenever he hears some simple tunes, he'll start to "dance", baby style.

And want to share something.... he just uttered his first word (apart from going "pa pa pa" when he feels like it) today! We went downstairs and saw a cat, and I pointed to him and said "cat", and he uttered "tat" back! Awesome!
 
wow u gal bb all into DVDs.... aiyo i hv a few brainy bb and bb i can read but K not interested at all. he prefer to watch tv drama than anything leh. he will walk around and not watching.

I like to watch bb dance, cute hor
 
starry

I started out letting my son watch My Baby Can Read right from the start, and he likes it very much, especially the singing segments. Perhaps u want to fwd the vcd to th singing segments to arouse his interest?

TV drama not good for K leh.... dulls the brain.

Anyway they are not supposed to watch too much tv. It's at most 30min a day, and I only turn on when he is not concentrating on his meals. It's like a back-up plan when he is too unsettled to eat.
 
TV:
Talk about TV, my girl like advertisement VERY MUCH. She will stick to TV when the advertisement start, when drama start, she will continue her playing.
She will push anyone away or crawl away if someone blocking her sight.
 


BABY EINSTEIN
aah ya guess no point crying over split milk now... anyw i calcuated it worked out to be much cheaper if i were to buy it on its own. the lady said if any default can change...

BABY signing
yeah i checked it out the last time i was in united sq... quite espensive leh...

where to get the BAby can read and Wheels on the bus?? thanks
 
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