(2006/04) April 2006 MTB

[starry]

sggal,

Every mummies is tired and u r not alone. All bb are demanding in their own ways. Just like grass always greener on the other side lor.

Maybe if financial is ok, u may consider to put him in infantcare for a few hours daily or even 3 times a week. there are infantcare with such arrangement. Moreover there are qualified teachers to sing and play with bbs. Actually,I even learn a few tricks fm them.

My boy behave different in infantcare and home, he is more talkative and demanding at home.

 

[bblim]

Hi sggal,
Can I noe where r u staying? Mayb we can meetup since I am a SAHM too. Or mayb u can meet up wif friends for a break? Dun always cope at home. It can b depressing.

 

[sggal]

so nice to "hear" all your consoling words. i feel better. i know that not all days she's like that and that she has no other way to express herself, just sometimes it's soooooo depressing.

can't put her in childcare. she reduses the bottle totally. that's why i quit my job.

i try to go out a few times. she loves going out.. very happy cos got things to see, and mummy carries her in sarong. but can't go out every day lor.

bblim, i live in katong. where u live?

 

[fussiecat]

sggal
you can try flexi-infant care. putting her there for half day or 3 days per week. the teachers there are professionals, they have dealt with all kinds of bbs so they have advice for everything.

my boy was a very very light sleeper last time and wanted to be carried all the time. but after he was in IFC, he can slp better now, also can play by himself for longer period of time before crying for attn.

For the first few days at IFC, you may choose to stick around and see how they look after your bb. (if your bb wants to latch on, you can do it there too) once you are confident, you can 'let go' and leave her there for half day or more.

well, keep your options open. and yes, it's good to meet up with other moms so u know u are not alone!

 

[1sttimemum]

sggal,

I can understand how you feel now and can understand how tired you must be now... but i agree with what mom_yam say lor, dun qurral with hubby as it will make you more depress and also feel more angry. When you free??? Do you mind if i go over to find u?? Or do you want to come out with bb for a fresh air? You call me anytime okay.

JJ is also crying alot when he is younger but i just put him in his cot and let him cry, while i take a walk outside and sometime i even scold him which i feel bad but sometime really dunno what to do. You do take care, you can sure make it and bb will be a wonderful one and problem will soon be over. Call me if you feel uncomfortable or need someone to talk.

 

[miu66]

<font color="ff6000">sggal</font>

poor thing, i'm sure many of us here have felt like this at some time, so do take heart that you aren't alone

.

as the other mommies have pointed out, do try to get some fresh air when you can. as i take care of my daughter by myself, she goes out with me wherever i go, and when we do spend the whole day at home, i try to make it a point to take her for a walk outside for a change of scenery and i find this really puts her in a good mood. spmetimes being pushed in her pram or being carried by me, together with the background traffic noise also helps her to sleep faster when we're out.

hope things get better soon

 

[happyfatlady]

hi sggal,
I feel so sorry for you.
I'm a first time mum and I guess every baby is different as well, so not sure what advice will work. Maybe trial and error, but here are some suggestions:
1. Try the sarong - my baby boy wakes up easily if he doesn't sleep in the sarong. Think it's because the mattress can be rather warm for him, sarong is cooler and feels more snug and secure for the baby.
2. Read Tracy Hogg's Secrets of the Baby Whisperer - you may discover some reasons why she is cranky, e.g., babies should eat, play (activity) then sleep, not eat and straightaway sleep.
3. Massage your baby, my mother does this for my baby and he is usually calmer after the massage.
4. Bathe her twice a day to relax her as well.
You do need space for yourself, try to find help to babysit.
Take care! Cheers

 

[iemuhs]

Hi sggal,

Just want you to know that you are not alone.

I am a SAHM too and because I am in the US, there's no one around to help me and I faces my son 24 hours a day. You said that your gal wakes up 2 times a night, how about my son who wakes up anything from 3 to 9 (yes, 9!) times a night? haha... luckily the 9 times are few are far in between.... but I am pretty sleep deprived too... but luckily my son naps pretty well and I try to catch up on my sleep then. From your description, I gather that you are reading and following the baby whisperer? I tried to be a follower, but my son simply yells harder when I tried to get him to self sooth by shh/ pat. Are you aware of the baby whisperer forum? It might be helpful for you and there are loads of moms there with similar problems (http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/)

Have you used a yao lan (baby sleep hammock)? Last time when Shawn was napping really poorly, I used one and it helps to get him to sleep better.. can sleep for up to 2 hours sometimes... but now that I nurses him to sleep, he sleeps even better..decided to stick with nursing to sleep even though it's a prop and not recommended by pd.. but when you are tired and still has to cook and clean the house, anything goes lah...

and oh yah, Shawn also refuses the bottle (I think this is a pit fall of most direct latch bf moms, sigh)... but now that they are about to start solids, you can try giving it to him in a cup. That's what I was hoping - that he would drink from the cup (and free me! and let the daddy do some work!)

 

[bblim]

Hi sggal,
Me stayin in woodlands. We are two ends apart. If u wan, mayb we can go somewhere central. Other mummies are welcome to join too. Hmmm, how abt today then(oredi past midnite so considered Fri)? But oni can meet until 5pm coz I will hv to go meet my hubby to tompang his car home.

Me too. My gal follows me to wherever I go. Not ez for a small sized mummy wif a big sized bb.

 

[momyam]

Hi bblim &amp; sggal,

I wont mind but will have to be after 6pm coz' i have to work *boo hoo*

how abt this, we make a small gathering next Sat to botanic garden? We have pinic there and we can "practice" wat we have learn in bNc or gymboree??

anyone interested??

 

[chenoa]

Sggal,
had sent you an email yesterday...wonder you have read it? Do reply me cos I don't know how to send you attachment over the PM feature.

Rally around sggal, looks like the SAHM and FTWM are ready for some action! But we are all spread all over the island ....

My gal also goes where I go. Not because I like it, but cos I'm the mother cow. Hahahaha

For gatherings, I say first hor...sorry, cannot offer my house as I'm staying with inlaws, not convenient lor. But I can offer the Bishan Park! kekeke

 

[apr05mummy]

Sggal,

me SAHM too, am staying @ pasir ris. Feel free to contact me.. Me also bringing along baby whereever i go.. i can meet u for late lunch / brunch / kopi..cos my dun wake up early

mom yam,

u sure got gud idea man! me on! but wat time huh?? think need to bring towel for babies to lie or not??

 

[momyam]

Rach,

Me also not morning person we can meet like evening say 4 pm???

anyone interested?

1) momyam aka jas
2) Rach

 

[uniqueone]

mom_yam,
Good idea, but I'm just afraid there might be alot of mozzies...

 

[bblim]

Re: Picnic at Botanic Garden
I'm in subject to my hubby consensus. Coz need a driver to drive us there. Haha. But I did not attend any Gymboree n BnC trials ler.

I tink better hv a indoor backup plan coz nowadays seems like rainning quite frequently.

 

[chenoa]

RE: Picnic at Botanic Gardens

If there's music performance (by SSO or SCO for eg) going on at the lotus stage, then after we play and picnic, can listen to free music.

 

[momyam]

Uniqueone - i dont thk they have much mozzies.. coz' govern so particular over dengue and botanic garden is tourist attraction place so shouldnt be tat bad la.

bblim, indoor? hmmmmmm.......... my place is rather "run" down also cant offer anyone to come. I'm really looking forward next year June to come fast so i can shift out from here

chenoa, that's a good idea. U coming?

 

[hunniepot]

If you guys are concerned about the mozzies thingie.. perhaps can consider using the Johnsons Anti Mozzie loton (green bottle) or California Baby Anti Mozzie Lotion or the one from Burts Bee..

If you guys dont mind, can open up my place for you ladies again.. just that my living room is not air conditioned..

 

[mirabell]

hi hunniepot

Kaypo here...

just saw this posting about going to the Botanic Gardens, I just bought my ger there yesterday. We bought the Anti Mos Patch and paste around her pram and on her clothes, so far very effective, there is no mos bite...

Btw, I heard from my friend that Anti Mos lotion might not be suitable for babies below 6 mths... maybe u have to read the instructions first before using...just for sharing only :>

 

[hunniepot]

Mirabell,

Thanks for the info.. have not tried out on my girl b4 though I have the johnsons and califorina baby ones.. not sure about the johnsons one as the instructions are in thai... as for the CB lotion, nothing is stated there that it is not suitable for babies under 6 M so guess shld be ok bah... heard that the Burts Bee Anti-Mozzie is 100% natural.. but how long can the anti mos patch last? Seems quite ex leh

 

[kerenelu]

sggal,

I can understand how u feel. I already feel angry and down at times and i would say my ger actually not bad already. Like urs, she is going 5 mths next thursday.

Guess wat.. dunno what temper she threw last nite.. cried and cried after she woke up at 8 pm.. then fed her milk and she refused to sleep till 12 midnight. And she woke us up at 5 am with her thumping on the mattress and her sounds..

Although that occurs once in a blue moon, i felt so angry with her and asked myself dunno what happiness and joy is there..

 

[mirabell]

We used for about 2 hours in the park. At nite, I could still smell on the patch. I also dun know what brand we use, hubby just bought from the medical hall...

 

[bblim]

hunniepot,
there's an ongoing 2nd BP for anti-mozzies patch in the mktplace. U can check it out. I bot it @ $4.50 per pkt of 12 patches. Derma-Life brand.

Re: Carter's contact
So sorry dat I took so long to get back to u. Was awaiting for my FIL to give me the contact. But too bad, he juz told me yesterday dat the person was no longer working there so lobang pi chia.

 

[iemuhs]

Last time I used to get so tired and angry with my son for getting up so often, but I have accepted it now and try to treasure each moment, whether bitter or sweet

. Just think of it this way: they won't do what they are doing forever, they won't cry in your arms forever, they won't want you to nurse them forever... so enjoy the moment before they grow up and "leave you" for another man/ woman

 

[hunniepot]

Mirabell

Okies thanks.. will check it out

bblim

No problem

Thanks for helping me check it out... you bought the patches also?

Su

Yeah totally agree with you on that.. read thru one of the past issues of some motherhood mags.. it mentioned that our babies are ours alone for a really short time,one day soon, they will have their own friends, schools, homework and ECAs.. so lets try our best to enjoy them for now when they are exclusively ours

Soon will come the time when they wouldnt want to stick to us even when we want them to... they will then prefer their friends over us.. and want to be more independent.. guess we will then feel the tug in our heart, knowing that our babies (once so sticky to us) no longer wants to be with us all the time

 

[uniqueone]

hunniepot &amp; Su
I was tearing when I read what u have posted. Haiz...really am sad thinking that someday J will grow up and leave me. I'm really a contradicting mum, now he's sticky to me I complain. Think of next time when he grows up and has his own life, I also don't feel happy...

Don't know what's wrong with me recently. Very emotional and my mood is taking a roller coaster ride...haiz....

 

[momyam]

hunniepot, su and uniqueone

recently i read a mag, i cant remember is motherhood or babies &amp; me. 1 articele says about toddler rejecting mothers.. prefer maid..prefer grandparents or nanny. sometimes the toddler dont want to hold mummies hand..

I thk that will really break my heart if my bb grows up rejecting me. i hope he kws this mummy really put in a lot of effort and went thru fire &amp; water just for him.

like so wei da like that hahaha.... no la, all bbs should kw all mummies went thru fire &amp; water just for them hahaha!!

 

[momyam]

Anti-mozzies patch
=================

I have one whole pack and i thk is good.. although i find the smell is very strong.

 

[starry]

mom_yam,

i can feel the mixed feeling when i read yr postings. my heart will break leh. imagine we stay alone , face each other almost 24hrs and suddenly they prefer grandparents or someone else

 

[momyam]

twinkle-starry,

ya lor.... me worst i only get to "play" with him for an hour every night.. weekend only sat is my day.

other days is always grandparents or maid... moreover i so fierce to him coz' dt want him to become spoil brat. so he will reject me sob sob.. in fact, i wont mind when he grows up he have his frds and activities..

BUT BUT BUT i do mind if he rejects me when he is a toddler or in kindergarten. I will feel so useless.

I am thking to be SAHM mom but financial cant allow me to do so. I miss my 3 mths confinement period.

 

[hunniepot]

mom_yam, twinkle &amp; preciousbabe

Yeah lor.. remember the times when I was young, there was a period of time when I was super rebellious.. dont want to stick to my mum anymore.. rebuke her in whatever she said.. and whenever she cried, I will just think to myself: Silly woman.. like that also cry... but now being a mum myself. I can truly understand how she felt then..

 

[uniqueone]

hunniepot,
Yes, Yes!! Me too leh. Actually up till now, I still very rebellious and will talk back to my mum one. But after doing that, will feel guilty lor. But 'face too thin; to apologise to her so pretend that nothing happen and talk to her.

I really wish that J won't do that to me lor. But guess, it's beyond my control one. J will have his own thinking when he grows up and hopefully he will be sensible unlike his mummy.

 

[starry]

ladies,

wow at least i know now i m not the only rebellious one around. My mum always say "only u like tat where got ple like tat one"

Although only hb and me w K at night when we bring him back fm IFC but i normally got to work till 10pm. he will kick a fuss if he dun see me around for more than 20mins. i also very strict as i believe in teaching him right fm start.

 

[hunniepot]

preciousbabe

Hehe.. yeah lor.. same for me now.. I still talk back to my mum.. but will feel guilty after that.. want to apologise also feel pai seh.. so pretend nothing happen lor.. my hb was saying i better stop pampering Amanda, otherwise she will end up like how i treat my mum.. seems like Amanda is a little scared of my hb.. he will lecture her and scold her and he noticed that whenever he does that.. she will be a little scared and then turn and look at me for help

 

[Koalarie]

Afternoon ladies.

Me back.

Wow.. thread is moving fast.

Today brought Xuanting to visit the first person that touches her... my gynae.

My gal seems to recognize gynae and immediately "jumpped" up n down while her daddy holding her when Dr Lisa spoke to her. So funny.

Chatted /w my gynae a while... Dr Lisa reminded me tat good thing tat bb is happy n cheerful n healthy n tat we must always count our blessings as I'd previously was in rather blues...

Today brought the little one with daddy to shopping... mayb the sling is too comfortable n she simply clings on me like a bb koalabear. =p

Sggal,
hope u re feeling better. Once in a while, mayb get somebody, like ur hb to help out while u catch a 3h nap.

For crying wise, I not sure if u tried telon minyak? Xuanting was having some tummy prob previously n since switching to telon minyak, she can sleep quite well. This oil not easy to buy.. so far found in Sebawang Shopping Centre n in Malaysia when my family went up there for holidays.

U can try that.

Also, like what preciousbabe says, changing milk may help.. but seem like ur bb is on BM huh.. quite tough.... Hopefully the intro of semi solids will help. Brown rice cereals is good... at least i dun ve only prob on tat for xuanting as compared to the frisocream or white rice cereals.

Wonder how re my parents doing at Genting? = p

But taking care of Xuanting is really siong esp after a jab. She was so cranky yesterday that all her naps were less than 30 minutes n wanted me to carry her n walk!

Thank goodness, today her daddy takes leave too.. so can rotate. = )

 

[herworld]

mom_yam
Some time back when I was worried that J is getting too attached to my helper....you told me not to worry....BBs know who is their mummy....so I want to encourage you with your own words....and you are right....now J knows how to stretch himself towards me and want me to carry even when my helper is carrying him....bb know who their mummy is.

hunniepot
when I scold J for not taking his milk or nap, he will look everywhere except at me and give me that "I can't hear you" look.

sggal
I recall J being very hard to care for when he was 2 mths old. He doesnt take long nap and keep wanting to nurse and nurse. Made me all worn out and I was sobbing while nursing him. Like going crazy.

At last resort, I went to visit an LC from NUH. She helpe me analyse the situation and my BB's character. Found out that my baby has traits of a high need baby and she encouraged me to use the kangaroo method ie to sling him as much as I can to assure him.

After talking to her, it seems like my eyes opened because i finally understood "why". I guess part of your frustration is not having any answers to "why she like that", "educated" people like us always need to have an answer for everything

The LC told me to stop questioning why and ask me to accept my BB for who he is. Once we stop questioning why, then we are prepared to move onto the next step i.e. acceptance.

I am glad I took her advice and today J is a happy and me a happy mummy.

Not sure if all these make sense to you but hope it helps you in some way.

 

[antzpls]

ohhh...u all really make me worry if my gal dont want me ...

cos i only see her once a week or once 2 weeks...
so envy u all staying with bb all along...

 

[momyam]

MEL, ya that is what i keep telling myself.. but my boy only favor his ah gong.. everytime ah gong call him, he will stretch himself towards him.

For me.. at times. i'm not so worry abt him as infant.. i more worry when he grows a little bit older. coz' there is when he will choose who he wants.. and who he dont want.


Opps.. sorry Mrs Ho, we didnt mean to do so.. never mind u endure another half a year or so. yr bb can be with u everyday..

my frd who is also a malaysian, just applied PR for her mom to stay in s'pore. so her mom can take care of her little one.. have u thot of doing the same?

 

[winky]

haiz....my Keith fell from my mum's bed yesterday...got a baluku at the back of his head

...heng he is ok...

 

[winky]

chenoa,

plse help me update, Keith is 7.3kg @6mths...I m a FTWM. Thanks

 

[sggal]

everyone, thanks for yr many suggestions, not sure i can reply all, but let me share a little more abt us.

i gave my my work cos she totally refuse the bottle even if she's hungry(so cannot send to babysitter/IF), even tho we tried all sorts of methods, even went for the bottle training "class" at TMC parentcraft. maybe we started her too late on the bottle (at 8 weeks) cos we were told not to start too early and i couldn't find the answer to when is "not to early". at first she took after cry few mins, she wld drink whole bottle (up to 120ml). but after doing that 2 weeks, she totally refuse for the next 8 weeks. so i've given up on the bottle

we have a bedtime routine since she was 1 month that incldes hving an evening walk with daddy n mummy. we've tried all sorts of "expert" advice, from books to websites to LC (cos she wasn't feeding properly n didn't gain enough weight in first 2.5 months). best advice i got was from a fren who has 3 kids. she told me to be more flexible and go with babygal's flow. i try to do that. just that some days it gets too much.

from 1 website and from my pd, we've figured out she's a high need baby. so we try to cater to her "needs" as much as possible.she can cry for more than 1 hour (not just cry, actually screaming). last nite took 1 hour to pat her to sleep (crying whole time). i'm sure my neighbours think we are beating her.

i don't miss work but i'm the outgoing sort, so being at home with no one to talk to is very tough. i try to go out cos she's so happy to go out but can't do that every day.

we hv minyak telon, she hates that. got ru yi oil too, that one she takes, makes her fart but she crys when farts too *roll eyes* luckily now don't cry when pee / poo. when smaller, she would cry when pee /poo, even if it is just one drop.

anyway, thank you all for being here. i didn't come in for so many months cos always no time. but this time i had to come and find some outlet cos i think talking to other mummies is better than all those "experts". THANK YOU

 

[momyam]

ET - YOU got monitor Keith very closely. My colleague's bb also got baluku due to fall down. End up the next few days vomit and black out... be extra careful on this.

 

[winky]

momyam, went to kk 24hr yesterday for a check...Dr says he looks fine, no bone crack on head and body...still got to monitor for 72hrs.

when happen to your colleague's bb after blackout?

 

[momyam]

ET - not sure. the other day she told me her son fell off and got baluku but that is on his forehead.

She went to see doc, the doc says is ok shouldnt be a problem as long as no vomit and uncomfortable.

Next few days, suddenly she and her hb (both working in th same co) took urgent half day..that's how i found out her son suffer black out &amp; vomit at home.. but when reach kk hosipital the boy is ok alr..but still got vomit la and lethagic.

dont worry.. just be careful and monitor. Maybe put mattress next to yr mom's bed.

 

[winky]

momyam, after the incident, planning to buy a single bed mattress and let him sleep on the floor liao...thanks.

btw, when u leaving for your bintan trip? and how u going to settle Issac's meal? u just bring cereal?

 

[momyam]

ET, tomorrow IS MY BIG BIG DAY!!! horray!!!

ya lor, will just bring the brown rice no choice hee anyway, i've stop porridge coz' when he porridge he dt want to drink milk. so i temp stop him for a week plus to monitor him again.

hey, i just found out SAFRA also got good deal for bintan lagoon also at S$220.00. sigh dunno which is nicer hor.

 

[winky]

my hubby not SAFRA member leh...

how many days u going?? remember to bring lots of mosquitoes patches...dont know the patches will be effective for sandflies or not.

I'm looking forward for the trip too...most likely I m going on either 1st or 2nd wk Oct.

 

[winky]

Momyam, Oh no...both wks on Oct are not available...so so sad...must source for other deals liao...I think my bro is SAFRA member..must ask him liao

 

[sggal]

hv to share some positive things i think.

babygal is very cute when she smiles and laughs. and she's very smart and picks up skills v quickly. she can usually tell me when she needs to poo poo and wait for the potty. she likes doing all sorts of "adult" things like sitting up or trying to drink from my BIG cup. and she has very pretty eyes. everyone who spends more than a few mins with her says she looks very alert and smart but they all also says she got strong character! probably that's my problem, baby smarter than mummy so i constantly hv to keep up with her.

i really am coping most of the time, just some days its bad. i would love to meet all of u. pls include me if u hv any gatherings (pls help to sms (those who hv my number) cos I don't always hv time to come online, thanks!)

 

[draik]

sggal,
TMC also tell me that it is very easy to introduce the bottle back to the baby. I told this to my PD and my PD shake her head. My bb also refuse the bottle since 2nd month.

Your bb is really very clever. Mine has only flipped 3 times and that is it. Not interested to learn how to flip, not interested to sit but like to stand a lot.