(2006/02) Feb 2006 MTB
- Thread starter mashybrainz
- Start date
ter_wen
Active Member
hey mommies,
may i chk if your soon to b 2yos are still having separation or stranger anxiety?
my ger is not friendly, but ok to say bye bye
then this evening while she was at the playgnd, 1 granny (stanger with her grand child) pulled her shirt cos granny scared she may fall from that high spot.
my ger resisted her pulling and then broke into tears....
haiz. so paiseh. cos i know the granny meant well...
then my ger will always look for me de lei.
can go look into the store room, kitchen, bang on study room door and my toilet..
mama, mama, mama.....
may i chk if your soon to b 2yos are still having separation or stranger anxiety?
my ger is not friendly, but ok to say bye bye
then this evening while she was at the playgnd, 1 granny (stanger with her grand child) pulled her shirt cos granny scared she may fall from that high spot.
my ger resisted her pulling and then broke into tears....
haiz. so paiseh. cos i know the granny meant well...
then my ger will always look for me de lei.
can go look into the store room, kitchen, bang on study room door and my toilet..
mama, mama, mama.....
mashybrainz
New Member
wendy
my boy hates it when we go for gatherings. He doesn't like pp coming up too close to him. On Mon, we went my hb's co for Christmas celebrations. He clung onto my hb and refused to let go. When my hb had to go and do some stuff, he'll cry like mad. He waved good bye to his colleagues but moved away when an affectionate auntie wanted to hug him. Refused to say goodbye to her. So i think he doesn't like affection. So long as the 'strangers' keep their distance, he's ok. He's alright with crowded shopping malls though.
von
Marcus and Megan look so alike!!!
Re: Car seat
Thankful that my boy is alright with the car seat. We usually just give him his favourite toy Hee Haw (which is permanently in the car). No TV, no snacks (snacks only if he's very hungry and we still haven't reach)
Lately we got a balloon from Ikea, so we broke the stick into half to make it shorter and let off some air. He loves to hold it on the car rides. Once we reach our destination, we'll tell him to put down the toys and he'll do that.
my boy hates it when we go for gatherings. He doesn't like pp coming up too close to him. On Mon, we went my hb's co for Christmas celebrations. He clung onto my hb and refused to let go. When my hb had to go and do some stuff, he'll cry like mad. He waved good bye to his colleagues but moved away when an affectionate auntie wanted to hug him. Refused to say goodbye to her. So i think he doesn't like affection. So long as the 'strangers' keep their distance, he's ok. He's alright with crowded shopping malls though.
von
Marcus and Megan look so alike!!!
Re: Car seat
Thankful that my boy is alright with the car seat. We usually just give him his favourite toy Hee Haw (which is permanently in the car). No TV, no snacks (snacks only if he's very hungry and we still haven't reach)
Lately we got a balloon from Ikea, so we broke the stick into half to make it shorter and let off some air. He loves to hold it on the car rides. Once we reach our destination, we'll tell him to put down the toys and he'll do that.
j1 also will behave better in front of stranger or people he not very familiar with. but hor 1 bad thing about him (in my view) is if he at public place throw tantrum and sits on the floor to cry then we ignore him, he will just let any stranger carry him if they offer lei so usually we still will stand beside or near him when he throw tantrum.
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
wah, he actually let strangers to carry him when he throw tantrums? Ai yoh, that's so dangerous.
Do u discipline him at all for such misbehaviour? I found out that my boy's memory is longer than I thought and so I've started to discipline him if he throws a tantrum when outside.
We lost some balls (couldn't find them for a few weeks already) and when he wanted to play that toy, I told him the balls are missing and couldn't find. Then I asked him if he knew where they were. He went straight behind the curtain in a corner, picked up the missing ball which was wedged between his toy cupboard and the curtain and gave to me.
wah, he actually let strangers to carry him when he throw tantrums? Ai yoh, that's so dangerous.
Do u discipline him at all for such misbehaviour? I found out that my boy's memory is longer than I thought and so I've started to discipline him if he throws a tantrum when outside.
We lost some balls (couldn't find them for a few weeks already) and when he wanted to play that toy, I told him the balls are missing and couldn't find. Then I asked him if he knew where they were. He went straight behind the curtain in a corner, picked up the missing ball which was wedged between his toy cupboard and the curtain and gave to me.
mashy,
Yup....indeed both my M&Ms look pretty alike....Megan is a feminine version of Marcus.
Now she's darker than at birth coz' under photolight. But I believe she will be just as fair as Marcus when she's bigger.
Regarding disciplining when throwing tantrums outside, it's not easy leh. I've tried many times to reason things out with him as well as use the hard way, at times it works, at times it backfires. Sometimes I could hardly catch hold of him & get him listen to me.....probably becoz' for the past few mths I've been carrying a 'load'....now that this 'load' is off....he he he....he'll get a taste of what discipline means in front of mummy.
Yup....indeed both my M&Ms look pretty alike....Megan is a feminine version of Marcus.
Regarding disciplining when throwing tantrums outside, it's not easy leh. I've tried many times to reason things out with him as well as use the hard way, at times it works, at times it backfires. Sometimes I could hardly catch hold of him & get him listen to me.....probably becoz' for the past few mths I've been carrying a 'load'....now that this 'load' is off....he he he....he'll get a taste of what discipline means in front of mummy.
yes. he let strangers carry him. got discipline but also like that. he v attention seeking now. a bit buay song he throw tantrum lor inside or outside house also same. teacher told me he's slowly starting in cc too liao
haha so marcus is gg to have a "taste" of discipline from mummy liao... but u hv to be sensitive to him abit now that there is competition from Megan.
i alr cant reason with J1 haha he is alr beyond reasoning hehe... i also start to raise my voice at him liao... yesterday br him out to compass point to order cake for his birthday.. wah piang! i feel like leave him at CP and dun bring him homr. simply out to make us angry one lor. tell him dun and distract him with something, reason w him, scold and beat also lk dat. so pek chek til i totally give him cold shoulder eventually. then he lagi angry. he will purposely walk away fr us yet stil ensure we can see him, then he purposely suddenly sit down at that spot and cry loudly like aiyo machiam so ke lian. everyone look at him meh... faint meh... then my hubby went to carry him. he stil sob lk so cham. after that stop awhile then again noti then tell him cannot. he stare at us then he again walk away and repeat the whole thing lei... wah piang! goodness gracious!!!! why nowadays kids lk dat! even the cake shop auntie see him buay tahan him
haha so marcus is gg to have a "taste" of discipline from mummy liao... but u hv to be sensitive to him abit now that there is competition from Megan.
i alr cant reason with J1 haha he is alr beyond reasoning hehe... i also start to raise my voice at him liao... yesterday br him out to compass point to order cake for his birthday.. wah piang! i feel like leave him at CP and dun bring him homr. simply out to make us angry one lor. tell him dun and distract him with something, reason w him, scold and beat also lk dat. so pek chek til i totally give him cold shoulder eventually. then he lagi angry. he will purposely walk away fr us yet stil ensure we can see him, then he purposely suddenly sit down at that spot and cry loudly like aiyo machiam so ke lian. everyone look at him meh... faint meh... then my hubby went to carry him. he stil sob lk so cham. after that stop awhile then again noti then tell him cannot. he stare at us then he again walk away and repeat the whole thing lei... wah piang! goodness gracious!!!! why nowadays kids lk dat! even the cake shop auntie see him buay tahan him
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
J1 ride over your head liao lah. He doesn't seem afraid or respect u and your hb.
Have u tried telling him before u go out that he has to behave? Be very specific. Coz he's been allowed to carry on with his tantrums, he thinks he can get away with it again. He's testing your limits.
We just gave my boy another 5mins on his naughty chair that day coz he stuck out his legs on the table when we were dining outside. We told him we'll do it, and we did when we got home. He was crying buckets coz he knew he was being punished. But the next time when we were out, when he tried to stick his legs up again, we just needed to remind him about the naughty chair and he quickly put down his legs.
U might wanna start reading on some disicipline books to get some ideas on how to discipline J1. Altho all kids are different, some of the techniques can be quite effective.
Think 1 thing u need to teach J1 now is respect for you and your hb. He obviously doesn't. This is basic to teaching them respect for others.
I recently attended a discipline class for children. One of the things they taught is that we shouldn't always just discipline in times of conflict. Even in times of peace, we should take every oppotunity to teach (not punish hor) them the right things.
One tip they gave was when the kid is out of hand, get them to clench their hands together. U know like when pp pray? it helps to settle them down. I haven't successfully done it, but u can try and see if it works for u. It also said, if u expect much, u get much, if u expect little, u get little. So if u expect little respect from your kid or if u think your kid can't do it, then that's what you will get.
J1 ride over your head liao lah. He doesn't seem afraid or respect u and your hb.
Have u tried telling him before u go out that he has to behave? Be very specific. Coz he's been allowed to carry on with his tantrums, he thinks he can get away with it again. He's testing your limits.
We just gave my boy another 5mins on his naughty chair that day coz he stuck out his legs on the table when we were dining outside. We told him we'll do it, and we did when we got home. He was crying buckets coz he knew he was being punished. But the next time when we were out, when he tried to stick his legs up again, we just needed to remind him about the naughty chair and he quickly put down his legs.
U might wanna start reading on some disicipline books to get some ideas on how to discipline J1. Altho all kids are different, some of the techniques can be quite effective.
Think 1 thing u need to teach J1 now is respect for you and your hb. He obviously doesn't. This is basic to teaching them respect for others.
I recently attended a discipline class for children. One of the things they taught is that we shouldn't always just discipline in times of conflict. Even in times of peace, we should take every oppotunity to teach (not punish hor) them the right things.
One tip they gave was when the kid is out of hand, get them to clench their hands together. U know like when pp pray? it helps to settle them down. I haven't successfully done it, but u can try and see if it works for u. It also said, if u expect much, u get much, if u expect little, u get little. So if u expect little respect from your kid or if u think your kid can't do it, then that's what you will get.
Happy new year to all!!
Bulma: I can understand how you feel. Sometimes my boy also like that, like to walk on his own, simply bo chap when we call him, scold him, and then he will scream v loud when we chase after him. Then he will squat down or sometimes sit or lie down on the fl! Sometimes we will hide but he just keep on walking and throwing tings on the floor in the shopping centre!!! Really feel like picking him up and leave lor! So paiseh in the public!
Somtimes he will just refuse to walk and want us to carry him!!! Sigh...one is already so tiring, cant imagine got 2 kids! Faint man! Next time i must really hide and dun let him see us but we must be able to see him fr our view make him real scare!!!!
Bulma: I can understand how you feel. Sometimes my boy also like that, like to walk on his own, simply bo chap when we call him, scold him, and then he will scream v loud when we chase after him. Then he will squat down or sometimes sit or lie down on the fl! Sometimes we will hide but he just keep on walking and throwing tings on the floor in the shopping centre!!! Really feel like picking him up and leave lor! So paiseh in the public!
Somtimes he will just refuse to walk and want us to carry him!!! Sigh...one is already so tiring, cant imagine got 2 kids! Faint man! Next time i must really hide and dun let him see us but we must be able to see him fr our view make him real scare!!!!
ter_wen
Active Member
oh ya i forgot to add.
just like mashy suggest on clening their hands - sometimes when my kids act up or becomes very upset, i held their hands to be by their side, squat down and try to establish eye contact with them and said 'calm down first, calm down first'
i actually learnt this from my son's cc tcrs.. hee.
just like mashy suggest on clening their hands - sometimes when my kids act up or becomes very upset, i held their hands to be by their side, squat down and try to establish eye contact with them and said 'calm down first, calm down first'
i actually learnt this from my son's cc tcrs.. hee.
mashybrainz
New Member
wendy
coz he kept coming down, so end up restart time.
i bless u
the noti chair we used also is a normal kids chair. it's the same one as he used for art and craft and other activities. The main thing is that they will know when they're being punished. So even though it's a normal chair, my boy will cry buckets coz he knows he's being punished. Will try to get down, but we'll put him back up.
When u really feel that u should pick up and leave, then maybe u should. It makes the kid wake up to his senses and realise that cannot play a fool anymore. U need to firm with your kids lor. Loving but firm.
coz he kept coming down, so end up restart time.
i bless u
the noti chair we used also is a normal kids chair. it's the same one as he used for art and craft and other activities. The main thing is that they will know when they're being punished. So even though it's a normal chair, my boy will cry buckets coz he knows he's being punished. Will try to get down, but we'll put him back up.
When u really feel that u should pick up and leave, then maybe u should. It makes the kid wake up to his senses and realise that cannot play a fool anymore. U need to firm with your kids lor. Loving but firm.
mashybrainz
New Member
Just sent my boy to 3hr daily playgroup today and so glad that he's adapting well. Didn't cry at all and even the teacher commented that he's very independent. Waved goodbye to my hb and me, so we didn't even need to sneak out.
jasminesym
New Member
mashy,
My boy also officially started 3hr 3x weekly playgroup today. But i brought him in for 2 days prior to today to phase him in as 1st day of school, old or new kids will cry after a long break of hols. He was teary when i left, but i never hear him cry after that when i hide 1 corner. The teacher said he was very good, never cry and played well.
Discipline
Funny I seldom need to discipline him, maybe my tolerance for him is higher, my hb said i will spoil him.
The few times I put him in the naughty corner were on the 1st step of my staircase. He thot it was funny so he got up and ran away. I kept putting him back and looked at him sternly then he understood it was for real. He will start to cry when he knew it was a punishment. Sometimes, I wonder if he really knew what he was punished for.
My boy also officially started 3hr 3x weekly playgroup today. But i brought him in for 2 days prior to today to phase him in as 1st day of school, old or new kids will cry after a long break of hols. He was teary when i left, but i never hear him cry after that when i hide 1 corner. The teacher said he was very good, never cry and played well.
Discipline
Funny I seldom need to discipline him, maybe my tolerance for him is higher, my hb said i will spoil him.
jasminesym
New Member
Mummies
Some info on time-out. It says not all 2yos are able to understand the reasons for the time out or even sit thru the 1-2mins.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_time-outs-how-to-make-them-work_63909.pc
Some info on time-out. It says not all 2yos are able to understand the reasons for the time out or even sit thru the 1-2mins.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_time-outs-how-to-make-them-work_63909.pc
mashybrainz
New Member
jasmine
Altho not all 2yos can understand time out, it's time to introduce such things to them that there are behaviours that are unacceptable.
I think I'm a very strict mummy, as I impose a lot of rules. I do not allow any misbehaviour and will not hesitate to punish. Even whacking his hand. Once I even whacked his butt till can see my fingerprints coz he climbed onto a wire cabinet. It was very dangerous and I had to make him remember his lesson well and hard. But of course, I also allow him to 'win' his little battles sometimes if it's not too big a thing.
Now my hb and I also imposed a rule that he had to pick up his toys after he plays with them. We'll help and hand him the toys to keep. If he refuses after repeated tries, we'll confiscate that box of toys for 1 week. So now, he learns that he needs to pick up his toys. Sometimes, he'll still go back to the 'i don't wanna pick up' attitude, and he won't see his toys for 1 week. Glad that we don't have to confiscate it so often now.
My boy is very defiant type and will challenge me to a 'dare' game. So now he understands that there's no nonsense with mummy.
My next step will be to teach him to exercise self-control. Right now it's all abt me controlling him, so when i'm not ard, he can still be up to his mischief. Will have to get him to learn to control himself.
Glad that even my MIL was happy with the outcome that my boy is well-behaved most times outside. He doesn't go ard bullying other kids and pulling their toys nor kick up a big fuss and cry on the floor. He gets into his caveman behaviour mainly when he's unable to express himself coz he can't talk. But he's still hyperactive coz he has tons of energy and will run around. So now sending him to playgroup to let him expend his energy.
Altho not all 2yos can understand time out, it's time to introduce such things to them that there are behaviours that are unacceptable.
I think I'm a very strict mummy, as I impose a lot of rules. I do not allow any misbehaviour and will not hesitate to punish. Even whacking his hand. Once I even whacked his butt till can see my fingerprints coz he climbed onto a wire cabinet. It was very dangerous and I had to make him remember his lesson well and hard. But of course, I also allow him to 'win' his little battles sometimes if it's not too big a thing.
Now my hb and I also imposed a rule that he had to pick up his toys after he plays with them. We'll help and hand him the toys to keep. If he refuses after repeated tries, we'll confiscate that box of toys for 1 week. So now, he learns that he needs to pick up his toys. Sometimes, he'll still go back to the 'i don't wanna pick up' attitude, and he won't see his toys for 1 week. Glad that we don't have to confiscate it so often now.
My boy is very defiant type and will challenge me to a 'dare' game. So now he understands that there's no nonsense with mummy.
My next step will be to teach him to exercise self-control. Right now it's all abt me controlling him, so when i'm not ard, he can still be up to his mischief. Will have to get him to learn to control himself.
Glad that even my MIL was happy with the outcome that my boy is well-behaved most times outside. He doesn't go ard bullying other kids and pulling their toys nor kick up a big fuss and cry on the floor. He gets into his caveman behaviour mainly when he's unable to express himself coz he can't talk. But he's still hyperactive coz he has tons of energy and will run around. So now sending him to playgroup to let him expend his energy.
thanks, mummies
Jasmine, yes.. time out so far dun work for J1. i put him at the chair, while crying, he will "soften" his whole body and "slip" down to the floor haha then will bang his head on the floor. i put him back on the chair, he again will "slip" down. anyway, just hope he will outgrow lah.. my hubby says J1 is EXTREME terrible 2, not just terrible 2 haha
when outside, we will grab him up fr the floor when he throw tantrum on the floor and walk off lor... then cos everybody's mood all spoil liao liao by him, we will just head home. nowadays, the thought of go out, we also sian. think slowly we may all just stay at home and become "Cavemen" hehe but dun thk that will happen bah haha cos he got a "cant stay at home" mummy hahaha
i also keep his toy for few days when he purposely pick his toy up and throw to vent anger. He also "bo hue". mayb he has too many toys hehe so he cant b bothered
yesterday just confiscate his favorite puzzle, he also like that. life still goes on for him HAHAHA
of course he is not always so devil, also got innocent angel time but thk, at current stage, it has skewed abit more towards devil bah hahaha
recently i keep scold and so firm with him till he "hate" me tis morning dun wan me to bring him to school. he rather ask his father to bring him.
Jasmine, yes.. time out so far dun work for J1. i put him at the chair, while crying, he will "soften" his whole body and "slip" down to the floor haha then will bang his head on the floor. i put him back on the chair, he again will "slip" down. anyway, just hope he will outgrow lah.. my hubby says J1 is EXTREME terrible 2, not just terrible 2 haha
when outside, we will grab him up fr the floor when he throw tantrum on the floor and walk off lor... then cos everybody's mood all spoil liao liao by him, we will just head home. nowadays, the thought of go out, we also sian. think slowly we may all just stay at home and become "Cavemen" hehe but dun thk that will happen bah haha cos he got a "cant stay at home" mummy hahaha
i also keep his toy for few days when he purposely pick his toy up and throw to vent anger. He also "bo hue". mayb he has too many toys hehe so he cant b bothered
yesterday just confiscate his favorite puzzle, he also like that. life still goes on for him HAHAHA of course he is not always so devil, also got innocent angel time but thk, at current stage, it has skewed abit more towards devil bah hahaha
recently i keep scold and so firm with him till he "hate" me
tis morning dun wan me to bring him to school. he rather ask his father to bring him.mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
don't worry, he doesn't hate u lah. it's for his own good that you're firm with him. Else you'll have an even bigger headache when he grows older. They always say that the terrible twos are a preview of teenage years to come, so if u don't rein them in, this will be what they'll be like when they grow up.
Life goes on, they'll probably forget the lessons once a while. So you have to continue with it. U probably have to repeat it many times till he gets the message. One important thing is to be consistent. Jia you!!!
don't worry, he doesn't hate u lah. it's for his own good that you're firm with him. Else you'll have an even bigger headache when he grows older. They always say that the terrible twos are a preview of teenage years to come, so if u don't rein them in, this will be what they'll be like when they grow up.
Life goes on, they'll probably forget the lessons once a while. So you have to continue with it. U probably have to repeat it many times till he gets the message. One important thing is to be consistent. Jia you!!!
jasminesym
New Member
bulma,
While we have to scold and b firm with our kids, think we need to shower them with love and lots of hugs n kisses to show them that we love them that's why we discipline them and not because we hate them then we do it. Mayb J1 is resentful because you keep scolding him or he is having the idea that you don't love him...
While we have to scold and b firm with our kids, think we need to shower them with love and lots of hugs n kisses to show them that we love them that's why we discipline them and not because we hate them then we do it. Mayb J1 is resentful because you keep scolding him or he is having the idea that you don't love him...
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
u mean j1 actually listen to your reason? Thot at this age, they're unreasonable. hahaha. Now my tactic is 'becoz mummy/daddy said so'.
u mean j1 actually listen to your reason? Thot at this age, they're unreasonable. hahaha. Now my tactic is 'becoz mummy/daddy said so'.
It's really interesting to know of the different tactics in dealing with these terrible 2s. I've my fair share of headaches with Marcus too when we are out with him. He's one little fellow with tons of energy inside that that the moment he step out of the car & on his feet, he'll dash away like a rocket. My poor hb had to chase after him. I don't know why he can't slow down his pace & walk like adults do for just 5 mins. He also can't sit still to eat when we take our meals, making us having to rush thru' our meals.
Any suggestions how to make him sit & eat with discipline???
Ever since we brought Megan home, Marcus has been very affectionate towards his sis. The moment he's home from my mil's place, he'll not look for me but his sis. He'll call for his 'mei mei'. He kept on wanting to hug her but we only allow him to do it once coz' he's quite rough with his hugs.
As for me, so much for doing confinement. I've been travelling up & down KKH everyday for the 1st 2 wks after delivery to latch Megan & to give my EBM. Now that she's home, still hv to bring her to polyclinic to monitor her devt & jaundice. Haiz....was hoping to be able to build up my health this time round (which shd be my last confinement).
Any suggestions how to make him sit & eat with discipline???
Ever since we brought Megan home, Marcus has been very affectionate towards his sis. The moment he's home from my mil's place, he'll not look for me but his sis. He'll call for his 'mei mei'. He kept on wanting to hug her but we only allow him to do it once coz' he's quite rough with his hugs.
As for me, so much for doing confinement. I've been travelling up & down KKH everyday for the 1st 2 wks after delivery to latch Megan & to give my EBM. Now that she's home, still hv to bring her to polyclinic to monitor her devt & jaundice. Haiz....was hoping to be able to build up my health this time round (which shd be my last confinement).
mashybrainz
New Member
the discipline course (Ezzo & Ezzo) that i attended actually advised against giving choices. Reason being that they are too young to choose and too much freedom is no good. Give choices only when they are alright not having any choices.
You will end up with the situation whereby u want your child to do something (no negotiations), but he/she says no since she has a choice not to and u wonder why he/she's so rebellious.
They cited an eg, the mom ask what the kid wants for breakfast. She started giving him many choices like pancakes or cereal. Then asked him whether the kid wants orange juice or apple juice etc etc. When it comes to clothes, the kid also decides what he wants to wear. Then when she wants him to bathe, he shouted no and runs away. It's because the kid has been given too much freedom to choose, so he really chooses what he wants.
You will end up with the situation whereby u want your child to do something (no negotiations), but he/she says no since she has a choice not to and u wonder why he/she's so rebellious.
They cited an eg, the mom ask what the kid wants for breakfast. She started giving him many choices like pancakes or cereal. Then asked him whether the kid wants orange juice or apple juice etc etc. When it comes to clothes, the kid also decides what he wants to wear. Then when she wants him to bathe, he shouted no and runs away. It's because the kid has been given too much freedom to choose, so he really chooses what he wants.
so sianz,.. office block msn le i think... how ah? like dat how to work ... (sob sob)
so far, those articles or books that i read say shd gv choice - 2 choices - eg :apple juice or plain water
vonvon, i same as u... j1 mk me lose appetite or no mood to eat outside. like last evening hb say go eat at the new jap sushi restaurant then i say huh w j1, how to eat? then he say can lah... so we go lor... go liao as usual j1 cannot sit down, must stand. then must tk plates, spoons, forks, chopsticks to play, climb up and down the seat, walk ard the restaurant touch things ... then i pek chek but i no say anything.. i dun get to eat, i just get my share of grabbing j1 while my hb happily enjoying his salmon and sushi (he carry j2 on one hand, the other hand enjoying his food). eat so slowly then my face all black. then he stil ask dun wanna eat ah? i say how to eat? u teach me lor just wanna go home ASAP. then he say ok lor then i faster eat then we go home. win hor.. he didnt even offer say he takeover j1 then i carry j2 so i can eat abit. he finish enjoy his salmon and sushi and green tea le ask for bill and we go off. i only ate 1 $0.99 chawamushi n is share w j1. then out of restaurant, he say buy 1 waffle later supper (for himself ok) then i look at him then he ask u also wan ah? so my dinner is 1 waffle and yi du zi de qi. sm x i wonder m i just a nanny to tk care of j1 when i m out w my hb. so angry!!!
so far, those articles or books that i read say shd gv choice - 2 choices - eg :apple juice or plain water
vonvon, i same as u... j1 mk me lose appetite or no mood to eat outside. like last evening hb say go eat at the new jap sushi restaurant then i say huh w j1, how to eat? then he say can lah... so we go lor... go liao as usual j1 cannot sit down, must stand. then must tk plates, spoons, forks, chopsticks to play, climb up and down the seat, walk ard the restaurant touch things ... then i pek chek but i no say anything.. i dun get to eat, i just get my share of grabbing j1 while my hb happily enjoying his salmon and sushi (he carry j2 on one hand, the other hand enjoying his food). eat so slowly then my face all black. then he stil ask dun wanna eat ah? i say how to eat? u teach me lor just wanna go home ASAP. then he say ok lor then i faster eat then we go home. win hor.. he didnt even offer say he takeover j1 then i carry j2 so i can eat abit. he finish enjoy his salmon and sushi and green tea le ask for bill and we go off. i only ate 1 $0.99 chawamushi n is share w j1. then out of restaurant, he say buy 1 waffle later supper (for himself ok) then i look at him then he ask u also wan ah? so my dinner is 1 waffle and yi du zi de qi. sm x i wonder m i just a nanny to tk care of j1 when i m out w my hb. so angry!!!
Bulma: *hug*hug* y don't u tell ur hubby in the first place to take care and u want to eat? Aiyo he so 'blur', dun even notice you havent eat.
When i am outside with my boy for meals, he want to feed himself, then eat until all the floor or clothings so dirty. Sometimes want to stand on his chair and hold his bowl and eat! How to eat like that..scold him also dun listern. I have to hold on to him making sure he dun fall off or carry him down the fl, dont eat. So hubby eat first then take over. Sometimes hubby feed him then i eat first. Aiyo now cant even eat together! Must one person jaga another eat.
When i am outside with my boy for meals, he want to feed himself, then eat until all the floor or clothings so dirty. Sometimes want to stand on his chair and hold his bowl and eat! How to eat like that..scold him also dun listern. I have to hold on to him making sure he dun fall off or carry him down the fl, dont eat. So hubby eat first then take over. Sometimes hubby feed him then i eat first. Aiyo now cant even eat together! Must one person jaga another eat.
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
ai yoh, your hb very insensitive hor. At my home, i'm the insensitive one. Hahaha. When we go out, it's my hb who takes care of feeding C. I don't care. I just buy food, put in front of them. Then he will feed him. My boy also likes to play with spoons and stuff, so we'll usually take 1 extra set to occupy him. Don't u tie J1 on the high chair? that's what we do. Then he won't be able to stand up. But my boy also very impatient type. After he finishes his food, he wanna go liao. Will wanna stand up and leave. So we've to eat together quickly too.
I think small things can give choices once a while. But not too much. No is also a choice. I used to give some choices too. But after going thru the course, agreed with the author why we shouldn't be giving them choices at this age.
I usually take all those book advice with a pinch of salt, only follow those i think makes sense. Coz u see how US has turned out? A lot of the kids are so wayward due to the new upbringing style - no whacking, reasoning etc. So I usually see what kind of family that author has before continuing. Remember Britney Spears' mother actually wanted to come out with a book on child rearing? hahaha, that's a big fat joke.
ai yoh, your hb very insensitive hor. At my home, i'm the insensitive one. Hahaha. When we go out, it's my hb who takes care of feeding C. I don't care. I just buy food, put in front of them. Then he will feed him. My boy also likes to play with spoons and stuff, so we'll usually take 1 extra set to occupy him. Don't u tie J1 on the high chair? that's what we do. Then he won't be able to stand up. But my boy also very impatient type. After he finishes his food, he wanna go liao. Will wanna stand up and leave. So we've to eat together quickly too.
I think small things can give choices once a while. But not too much. No is also a choice. I used to give some choices too. But after going thru the course, agreed with the author why we shouldn't be giving them choices at this age.
I usually take all those book advice with a pinch of salt, only follow those i think makes sense. Coz u see how US has turned out? A lot of the kids are so wayward due to the new upbringing style - no whacking, reasoning etc. So I usually see what kind of family that author has before continuing. Remember Britney Spears' mother actually wanted to come out with a book on child rearing? hahaha, that's a big fat joke.
bulma
so chum... u try meebo? www.meebo.com
so chum... u try meebo? www.meebo.com
bulma
without msn very sianz one hor...wow ur hb so insensitive one...he din see that u din eat at all ah???
T2
Ethan also getting more and more playful or rather gaining independence everything want to do himself. When u say no he insist on doing think he want to try and see what's the consequence. Not easy to handle at this stage...
without msn very sianz one hor...wow ur hb so insensitive one...he din see that u din eat at all ah???
T2
Ethan also getting more and more playful or rather gaining independence everything want to do himself. When u say no he insist on doing think he want to try and see what's the consequence. Not easy to handle at this stage...
mashy, J1 no longer sit high chair. he will struggle cry non-stop thruout the meal if we force strap. then the whole place is filled w his crying screaming and pple see him struggling.
think i must report him as beyond parental control toddler HAHAHA anyway he also has his sweet side lah
bc, meebo all along is block one mah
think i must report him as beyond parental control toddler HAHAHA anyway he also has his sweet side lah
bc, meebo all along is block one mah
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma
then u should just wash your hands off J1 and let your hb handle. He'll prob fly off the handle too. Hahaha.
your boy already asserting himself hor. And he's getting away with a lot of things. Want me to whack him for you? Hahaha.
then u should just wash your hands off J1 and let your hb handle. He'll prob fly off the handle too. Hahaha.
your boy already asserting himself hor. And he's getting away with a lot of things. Want me to whack him for you? Hahaha.
mashybrainz
New Member
bulma & i bless u
sounds that both your boys are the same. Ever thought of seeking help from child psychologist? I remember watching the Ch 8 prog that featured a lot of kids who are difficult to handle and they are able to suggest constructive ways to help the parents.
Have u ever used the high chair like a fun place to be in? My boy also didn't quite like the high chair after a while when he was younger. What we did was to teach him how to buckle himself on the seat. So now, everytime, he goes on the chair, he'll buckle himself and he finds it fun and will want to do it over and over. And when he's on the high chair, i'll give him some toys to play with whereas if he's on a normal adult chair, no toys.
How? Both of u want me to help whack your boys? hahaha. I think the boys have won their wars too many times already. If you don't try to control them now, you'll have a big headache next time. But all hopes not lost as they can still change for the better if they've good mentors. My cousin was hyperactive when he's a kid, but turned for the better after he joined boys brigade. Another one was so violent that he boxed another older female cousin of mine. He's totally disrespectful and his parents don't seem to wanna do anything abt it, hoping that a miracle will happen. He's still quite jia lut. Hopefully he will not be worse and will come round to his senses.
sounds that both your boys are the same. Ever thought of seeking help from child psychologist? I remember watching the Ch 8 prog that featured a lot of kids who are difficult to handle and they are able to suggest constructive ways to help the parents.
Have u ever used the high chair like a fun place to be in? My boy also didn't quite like the high chair after a while when he was younger. What we did was to teach him how to buckle himself on the seat. So now, everytime, he goes on the chair, he'll buckle himself and he finds it fun and will want to do it over and over. And when he's on the high chair, i'll give him some toys to play with whereas if he's on a normal adult chair, no toys.
How? Both of u want me to help whack your boys? hahaha. I think the boys have won their wars too many times already. If you don't try to control them now, you'll have a big headache next time. But all hopes not lost as they can still change for the better if they've good mentors. My cousin was hyperactive when he's a kid, but turned for the better after he joined boys brigade. Another one was so violent that he boxed another older female cousin of mine. He's totally disrespectful and his parents don't seem to wanna do anything abt it, hoping that a miracle will happen. He's still quite jia lut. Hopefully he will not be worse and will come round to his senses.
My son also like to disturb his nieces! Everytime they come over will hear one of them saying, jovan beat me, jovan scratch me, sighhhhh!!!!! He only scared when i bring out cane! Now i even put a cane in my car!!! But he is not that bad lah, he has his own beautiful side and he learns thing fast! High chair he also got try buckle himself but he likes sit adult chair more than high chair.
jasminesym
New Member
Bulma,
I think consistency is very impt for our kids. So far, we feed him on high chair even outside and we always strap him up, so he habit liao, sometimes we forget to strap, he will try to strap up himself. Same for car seat, he will ask to sit in his car seat, sometimes, just go outside street only, we lazy to strap, but he will insist, till we give up. But I find that he is getting very stubborn and bad tempered. Nowadays, when he gets angry, he will clench his fists and straigten his body and make grunting sound. Yesterday, he even bite his tongue till got blood....
I think consistency is very impt for our kids. So far, we feed him on high chair even outside and we always strap him up, so he habit liao, sometimes we forget to strap, he will try to strap up himself. Same for car seat, he will ask to sit in his car seat, sometimes, just go outside street only, we lazy to strap, but he will insist, till we give up. But I find that he is getting very stubborn and bad tempered. Nowadays, when he gets angry, he will clench his fists and straigten his body and make grunting sound. Yesterday, he even bite his tongue till got blood....
mashybrainz
New Member
etelle
hahah, my boy's birthday over lor. we upgraded our M1 card to platinum and got a $50 voucher at Jumbo. Good deal.
hahah, my boy's birthday over lor. we upgraded our M1 card to platinum and got a $50 voucher at Jumbo. Good deal.
jasmine, we hv been consistent in carseat and high chair. in car standard is carseat since he baby. even now J2 also since after 1 month is car seat car seat car seat, j1 also trained tis way but suddenly he just start to refuse and struggle and scream lor as for high chair, since we buy it, every x so long as meal time is high chir even at home but also again he just suddenly dun wan and wanna b on adult chair but when on adult chair, he will wanna stand wanna climb up and down lor
mashy, yes got provide toys, let him play w buckle..also lk dat... dun whack my boy lah haha frankly i actually dun believe in whacking can do the job type and i m still trying to hold onto the belief hehe
he is quite inconsistent in his behavior lah when noti is v "tiao kang" (hokkien) noti one haha when normal is quite ok and some time even quite sweet haha i spoke to a friend who study psychology, he say is just being attention seeking. today he only throw tantrum 2x which i tot is very good le haha
i_bless_u, j1 wont beat nieces or what. he usually get bullied by them cos they will snatch his toys and he just stand there stare at them
today my hb bcom sensitive le haha he let me eat first and whatever haha thk he knows he dat day wrong le but guy r guy - simply dun say sorry
mashy, yes got provide toys, let him play w buckle..also lk dat... dun whack my boy lah haha frankly i actually dun believe in whacking can do the job type
and i m still trying to hold onto the belief hehe he is quite inconsistent in his behavior lah when noti is v "tiao kang" (hokkien) noti one haha when normal is quite ok and some time even quite sweet haha i spoke to a friend who study psychology, he say is just being attention seeking. today he only throw tantrum 2x which i tot is very good le haha
i_bless_u, j1 wont beat nieces or what. he usually get bullied by them cos they will snatch his toys and he just stand there stare at them
today my hb bcom sensitive le haha he let me eat first and whatever haha thk he knows he dat day wrong le but guy r guy - simply dun say sorry
bulma & i bless u,
Marcus is the same as both ur kids. Really cannot sit still in high chair. Well....all thanks to my mil, who did not help me reinforce the need to sit in high chair during feeding. It's hard for me to enforce this discipline only on weekends coz' on weekdays he's allowed to run ard during meals. Haiz....what to do? Will definitely remind her to put Megan on high chair this time. Hopefully she will be more disciplined & less spoilt than Marcus.
Marcus is very spoilt by his grandparents. They dote on him v much & allow him to do whatever he wants to.....making us v difficult to discipline him when we bring him home.
Bulma,
Next time just pass j1 to ur hb & then eat. Since he doesn't get the msg, u've to tell him directly. Some guys r like this.
For me, already agreed with hb that I'll take care of Megan while he takes care of Marcus. So, in a way, shd be easier job for me coz' she can only cry for milk & then sleep....unlike Marcus....ha ha....
Marcus is the same as both ur kids. Really cannot sit still in high chair. Well....all thanks to my mil, who did not help me reinforce the need to sit in high chair during feeding. It's hard for me to enforce this discipline only on weekends coz' on weekdays he's allowed to run ard during meals. Haiz....what to do? Will definitely remind her to put Megan on high chair this time. Hopefully she will be more disciplined & less spoilt than Marcus.
Marcus is very spoilt by his grandparents. They dote on him v much & allow him to do whatever he wants to.....making us v difficult to discipline him when we bring him home.
Bulma,
Next time just pass j1 to ur hb & then eat. Since he doesn't get the msg, u've to tell him directly. Some guys r like this.
For me, already agreed with hb that I'll take care of Megan while he takes care of Marcus. So, in a way, shd be easier job for me coz' she can only cry for milk & then sleep....unlike Marcus....ha ha....
sunshinekid
Active Member
Hi ETelle,
Annika's bday falls on Chu Yi this year, which is a good thing becos most bakeries are still opened for half a day on New yr's eve, so I managed to order a cake to be cut with relatives during reunion dinner. As for a big celebration, no lor, there wont' be one, unlike kor kor, who has a proper bday party every yr.
Bulma,
I can perfectly understand what u are going through. don't worry, it's just a phase. I rem I did not enjoy my meals outside, cos Gareth was a super active, difficult toddler. He is forever messing up the restaurants, refusing to sit still on his high chair, throwing foods all over the place. Our moods were dampened, as we were so busy attending to him. A meal outside can really zap so much energy from us.
I am sure as J1 gets older, this kind of nonsense from him will reduce.
Well, same here, my hb can comfortably finish his food, while here I am, trying to feed Annika, stopping her from throwing cutlery, spilling drinks, etc etc. He can easily overlook the fact that I have not ordered my food, or that he assumes that I can finish up whatever Gareth can't finish. Anyway, I am quite used to it.
Anyway, this kind of
Annika's bday falls on Chu Yi this year, which is a good thing becos most bakeries are still opened for half a day on New yr's eve, so I managed to order a cake to be cut with relatives during reunion dinner. As for a big celebration, no lor, there wont' be one, unlike kor kor, who has a proper bday party every yr.
Bulma,
I can perfectly understand what u are going through. don't worry, it's just a phase. I rem I did not enjoy my meals outside, cos Gareth was a super active, difficult toddler. He is forever messing up the restaurants, refusing to sit still on his high chair, throwing foods all over the place. Our moods were dampened, as we were so busy attending to him. A meal outside can really zap so much energy from us.
I am sure as J1 gets older, this kind of nonsense from him will reduce.
Well, same here, my hb can comfortably finish his food, while here I am, trying to feed Annika, stopping her from throwing cutlery, spilling drinks, etc etc. He can easily overlook the fact that I have not ordered my food, or that he assumes that I can finish up whatever Gareth can't finish.
Anyway, I am quite used to it.
Anyway, this kind of