Year 2015 IVF mummies- to-be

Sometimes, whatsapp and Facebook postings may cause miscommunication and give people impression that the person is being emo.. When situation has cooled off, hope that your two buddies can appreciate that you are someone who treasure their friendships and being there when they want a listening ear
 


twinklelight said:
Sometimes, whatsapp and Facebook postings may cause miscommunication and give people impression that the person is being emo.. When situation has cooled off, hope that your two buddies can appreciate that you are someone who treasure their friendships and being there when they want a listening ear
Click to expand...
Thanks for replying, twinklelight. It wasn't once or twice they've been doing that, and they dun hppn on whatsapp or fb but f2f and over real conversations. I have been trying for a baby for abt 5 yrs so I've been "emo and weird" for the past 5 yrs. :p

I feel better after ranting it out. I have made a deliberate decision to stay away so I dun have to listen to things I dun like to hear. While I hope to reconnect with my two good friends eventually, frankly speaking, nothing is more important than keeping myself happy for baby's sake at this point in time. :)
 
mosburger said:
Just want to rant... I've two good friends of decade-long friendship who are still single. I regret telling them abt me doing ivf. I have kept a distance from them to maintain peace and quiet for myself becoz I really treasure my pregnancy very much. From the time they started asking when my husband and I were gg to have babies to the time I went on to doing ivf, they kept complaining why I was engrossed w baby making instead of gg for holidays with them. When I was doing ivf, I was already stressed out by the daily jabs but they complained I was too emo, so many ppl have done ivf, if I couldn't take the stress then I should forget abt the whole baby making idea. When I finally got pregnant, I told them the good news after the 2ww blood test, they replied "See, I told u medical science is advanced. Want baby just do ivf." I stopped contacting them and updating them for the next few months. I really dun like the way they dun try to empathize with me and the kind of remarks they made. When they last asked me out and I declined, they complained I'm very emo when I'm pregnant, that I'm weird refuse to go out with them after getting pregnant. I dun want to explain or defend myself anymore. It seems pointless coz they dun understand. I feel sad. It seems like I'm gg to lose these two good friends but I get tired easily now that I'm almost 5 months along so I also dun feel like hanging out with them anymore. It is emotionally draining listening to the way they comment abt my baby making attempts and pregnancy. In their eyes, I am indeed very emo.
Click to expand...
mosburger said:
Just want to rant... I've two good friends of decade-long friendship who are still single. I regret telling them abt me doing ivf. I have kept a distance from them to maintain peace and quiet for myself becoz I really treasure my pregnancy very much. From the time they started asking when my husband and I were gg to have babies to the time I went on to doing ivf, they kept complaining why I was engrossed w baby making instead of gg for holidays with them. When I was doing ivf, I was already stressed out by the daily jabs but they complained I was too emo, so many ppl have done ivf, if I couldn't take the stress then I should forget abt the whole baby making idea. When I finally got pregnant, I told them the good news after the 2ww blood test, they replied "See, I told u medical science is advanced. Want baby just do ivf." I stopped contacting them and updating them for the next few months. I really dun like the way they dun try to empathize with me and the kind of remarks they made. When they last asked me out and I declined, they complained I'm very emo when I'm pregnant, that I'm weird refuse to go out with them after getting pregnant. I dun want to explain or defend myself anymore. It seems pointless coz they dun understand. I feel sad. It seems like I'm gg to lose these two good friends but I get tired easily now that I'm almost 5 months along so I also dun feel like hanging out with them anymore. It is emotionally draining listening to the way they comment abt my baby making attempts and pregnancy. In their eyes, I am indeed very emo.
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i think it is pretty much qt difficult for them to understand, unless they are really very empathetic people. Somehow I feel different ppl fit into our lives at diff times and if they are causing you a lot of pain now maybe it is gd for a while not to talk to them so much. But maybe you want to explain the reason for doing so to reduce any misunderstanding.

I do understand this cuz I have single friends too. And they will tell me stuff like, let's go on a 3 week african safari next yr when u know, I am going to have a baby then. Ya, just keep quiet lor.
 
mos-i can understand.. there r frens who i will share a lot, a lot n frens (most of my frens n all my clgs) tat i wun even tell i m doin any ART at all... they r not us n wun understand.. so dun bother.. if u can't mak it for smthg in é plans, jus tell them go ahead n plan w/o u totally.. jus tell them cannot commit coz u hav other priorities.

dif frens talk abt dif thgs, once ur cutie pie is in ur arms, n all settled, n u need mummy tim, u can try 2connect with them 4gers night out or short trips.. if no more sparks at then, then look 4a wider circle of mummies 2connect... mak urself happy!
 
Thanks hi_mei and joy_meme. :)

I appreciate my friends thinking of including me while making their plans. I hope things turn out fine in the future. Meanwhile, yup I prob gotta expand my circle, find like-minded ppl to make new friends. Keeping myself happy at this stage is impt. :)
 
Dear all, want to check, any of you are still on crinone insert after BFP? I am on my 7w now and I found that the clumpy discharge of the crinone getting a lot today (sorry for tmi), was wonder should I ask my doc to stop the crinone?
 
I'm now 5.5mth already.. Time fly so fast.. Another 4.5mth to delivery. Today everybody noticed the bump and tell me to be careful.. Watch my step.. Rest early.. It's such a long journey for me to reach this stage.. Feeling that all the patience and persistent pay off!! Just bought classical music for baby to start 胎教. Hope baby like it..
 
Time pass so fast, I think I saw hope42014in ivf forum before and now u r in ur 5.5 mths! Jia you mummy.must take care yourself..
 
I'm on my week 7 and still on duphaston 3x a day, progestone injection 2x per week, utrogestan 3x per day. So many medicine to take! Next wk will go back to see my gynae again to see if can reduce the dosage or not
 
I took Duphaston till 16v weeks... no spotting through out...more for precautionary measure
 
Hi mummies-to-be, I found out about this thread from the IVF/ICSI support group thread and I'm so glad that this thread exists. I'm 27 weeks pregnant with a baby boy from my second fresh cycle at KKH; am due on 23 Jan 2015. I recognize some of your names from the IVF/ISCI support group and I look forward to chatting with you all! I find myself reluctant to chat with mummies who conceive naturally and sharing my IVF experience openly because they will not understand, so I'm so glad I found this thread!!! I find I can identify and empathize much better with sisters who have been or are on the IVF journey.
 
mosburger said:
Thanks for replying, twinklelight. It wasn't once or twice they've been doing that, and they dun hppn on whatsapp or fb but f2f and over real conversations. I have been trying for a baby for abt 5 yrs so I've been "emo and weird" for the past 5 yrs. :p

I feel better after ranting it out. I have made a deliberate decision to stay away so I dun have to listen to things I dun like to hear. While I hope to reconnect with my two good friends eventually, frankly speaking, nothing is more important than keeping myself happy for baby's sake at this point in time. :)
Click to expand...

@mosburger - I can totally relate to your experience with your friends. I've probably been silently labelled much worse by friends who knew of my IVF experiences but who did not understand a single thing as they did not go thru it themselves. I then realized I've been too big mouthed so now I don't talk to anyone about IVF except with DH and the ladies in IVF forums. You have your priorities spot on. No one should hurt you when your baby is inside you, hurting you = hurting baby and you have every right not to allow your baby (i.e. yourself) to be hurt. I even avoid/ignore my own mother when she goes bats**t crazy on me and does not spare a thought for my baby. It's an extreme reaction but I'm doing everything I can to protect my precious unborn child, who finally only came to me after years of suffering and trying that only IVF sisters can fully understand.
 
Hi ecym, I failed my first fet in jun, with first bt detected and drop on the following day. My second try on fet was on September and manage to conceived, now in my 7w5d. Manage to hear bb heartbeat on last week gynae visit. Finger cross for next week visit.. Now very easy to get hungry and can only eat a little bit and feel full easily. Not having enough sleep at night as well as I always wake up to pee. Great to hear that you are into your last trimester. Jia you Jia you. How is ur bb doing so far? Already know is boy or girl?
 
Archie7 said:
Hi mummies-to-be, I found out about this thread from the IVF/ICSI support group thread and I'm so glad that this thread exists. I'm 27 weeks pregnant with a baby boy from my second fresh cycle at KKH; am due on 23 Jan 2015. I recognize some of your names from the IVF/ISCI support group and I look forward to chatting with you all! I find myself reluctant to chat with mummies who conceive naturally and sharing my IVF experience openly because they will not understand, so I'm so glad I found this thread!!! I find I can identify and empathize much better with sisters who have been or are on the IVF journey.
Click to expand...
Hi archie7, I have the same feeling as u, although I visited the thread for normal conceive mtb, but sometime difficult to share the experience with them. I found that ivf mummy are more cautious and I'm actually very worry with all the symptom I m getting like spotting and cramp.. Is this ur first bb?
 
Archie7, I tik it really Depends wat group of mummies u encounter. So far in my nov14 group, there are few of us thru ivf n discuss within our small group of abt 35 of us. After hearing our journey up n down. They understand more how it works n how forunate for some of them to just ttc awhile n strike.
But I must say sharing the experience in the group thru the journey, helps alot. Especially stm, they give valuable advise...
Yes for us who conceive thru ivf, we more paranoid n cautious. But we need to relax thru the journey so tat our bb will b a Happy bb.
Tats y this forum is morale support to each other..

Everyone jiayou!!
 
Archie7 said:
@mosburger - I can totally relate to your experience with your friends. I've probably been silently labelled much worse by friends who knew of my IVF experiences but who did not understand a single thing as they did not go thru it themselves. I then realized I've been too big mouthed so now I don't talk to anyone about IVF except with DH and the ladies in IVF forums. You have your priorities spot on. No one should hurt you when your baby is inside you, hurting you = hurting baby and you have every right not to allow your baby (i.e. yourself) to be hurt. I even avoid/ignore my own mother when she goes bats**t crazy on me and does not spare a thought for my baby. It's an extreme reaction but I'm doing everything I can to protect my precious unborn child, who finally only came to me after years of suffering and trying that only IVF sisters can fully understand.
Click to expand...
Hi Archie n mosburger, I also hv the same problem. Those didn't undergo wat we went thru, will never know. I used to tell my close friends abt my ivf journey, either they say "where got pain, u got low pain trash hold" or "u didn't do much, how come u can b so tired." There's 1 who pretend to b my friend, in the end, went ard telling ppl that I'm pregnant. Haiz... i really learn my lesson thru the hard way. ::>_<::
I really feel lucky that I'm able to seek advice n share experience w ladies here.
 
lovebblove said:
Hi all, the duphaston pills and progesterone jabs when did you all stop?
Click to expand...
I was on duphaston pills until 14 weeks. I'm with KKH. Because I had spotting issues in the first trimester, I was prescribed some progesterone inserts as standby to supplement the duphaston pills as needed.
 
Hugs, bb_love. Dun be too affected by those statements. It's really becoz ppl who have not experienced what we went thru trivialized our worries, emotions and thoughts. I am so glad there's such a thread here where I can confide in ppl who understand. Gals, thank u for sharing ur experiences too. I appreciate all the support so far. :)
 
Tinga said:
Hi ecym, I failed my first fet in jun, with first bt detected and drop on the following day. My second try on fet was on September and manage to conceived, now in my 7w5d. Manage to hear bb heartbeat on last week gynae visit. Finger cross for next week visit.. Now very easy to get hungry and can only eat a little bit and feel full easily. Not having enough sleep at night as well as I always wake up to pee. Great to hear that you are into your last trimester. Jia you Jia you. How is ur bb doing so far? Already know is boy or girl?
Click to expand...

Yes I remember your roller coaster ride for your first FET! Congratulations on hearing your beanie's HB... its a great milestone for us IVF mums!

Eat 5-6 small meals a day ... dun eat too big meals ... as you approach 10-12 weeks, your MS symptoms may get worsen....This round, ginger tea helps me a lot with the MS...

BB is doing alright I hope! Last seen my gynae at week 24 and my baby girl is at 770g.

@Archie7 - hello there, our EDD is on the same month! Our Jan 15 MTBs thread are pretty open and chatty...but can be very messy too... a few active mummies is that thread are also having IVF babies like myself and bbcrips...

In the thread, we also have a few mums who went thru mid term miscarriages/terminations and has openly share their stories...

of cos there bound to have a few insensitive ones but thankfully they are not as active...

one thing we learned from each other... looking forward positively :D
 
Last edited:
Tinga said:
Hi archie7, I have the same feeling as u, although I visited the thread for normal conceive mtb, but sometime difficult to share the experience with them. I found that ivf mummy are more cautious and I'm actually very worry with all the symptom I m getting like spotting and cramp.. Is this ur first bb?
Click to expand...

@Tinga Yes it's my first pregnancy. You're in your 7th week? Jiayou! You will feel much less worried when your 2nd trimester arrives. Although we will prob remain forever cautious about sharing on IVF with the outside people. Have you seen a doc about the spotting? I was told by doc cramps are normal in first tri.
 
Hi mommies, I'm 16 weeks and also on duphaston pills till date. I worry for side effect but my doc said this pill has been using for many years. is it safe?

has any of you bought pregnancy insurance? is it true that ivf babies may need more neonatal care but why..are they always less healthy?

btw I congrats to all mommies who bfp!
 
dolly_gal said:
Archie7, I tik it really Depends wat group of mummies u encounter. So far in my nov14 group, there are few of us thru ivf n discuss within our small group of abt 35 of us. After hearing our journey up n down. They understand more how it works n how forunate for some of them to just ttc awhile n strike.
But I must say sharing the experience in the group thru the journey, helps alot. Especially stm, they give valuable advise...
Yes for us who conceive thru ivf, we more paranoid n cautious. But we need to relax thru the journey so tat our bb will b a Happy bb.
Tats y this forum is morale support to each other..

Everyone jiayou!!
Click to expand...

@dolly_gal Thanks for the balanced perspective. You're due in Nov 14? You're getting there v soon! I'm a Nov baby myself. I'm glad you found some IVF-ers in that group, and that they are very understanding. I have a few very understanding friends too, but sadly my negative experiences outweigh the positive ones so far, which is why I can empathise with mosburger et al. That's not to say of course that all others will go thru the same as my personal experiences. I agree that people will understand only if we try to explain the journey, although there's no absolute guarantee and there will always be the insensitive black sheep out there. I post IVF-related articles on my facebook so that my friends can read up if they want. Actually I'm enjoying preparing for parenthood and the IVF only holds me back when I consider if I should speak with other MTBs. Your experience has been very encouraging though. :)
 
meoow30 said:
Hi mommies, I'm 16 weeks and also on duphaston pills till date. I worry for side effect but my doc said this pill has been using for many years. is it safe?

has any of you bought pregnancy insurance? is it true that ivf babies may need more neonatal care but why..are they always less healthy?

btw I congrats to all mommies who bfp!
Click to expand...

Hi, I had duphaston till 16 weeks ... after that the bb will supported by the placenta...

IVF babies have higher chance requiring neonatal care but it does not equate to all IVF babies... you will know if you require neonatal care as your pregnancy advances...meanwhile just enjoy the pregnancy and stay cheery...
 
ecym said:
Yes I remember your roller coaster ride for your first FET! Congratulations on hearing your beanie's HB... its a great milestone for us IVF mums!

Eat 5-6 small meals a day ... dun eat too big meals ... as you approach 10-12 weeks, your MS symptoms may get worsen....This round, ginger tea helps me a lot with the MS...

BB is doing alright I hope! Last seen my gynae at week 24 and my baby girl is at 770g.

@Archie7 - hello there, our EDD is on the same month! Our Jan 15 MTBs thread are pretty open and chatty...but can be very messy too... a few active mummies is that thread are also having IVF babies like myself and bbcrips...

In the thread, we also have a few mums who went thru mid term miscarriages/terminations and has openly share their stories...

of cos there bound to have a few insensitive ones but thankfully they are not as active...

one thing we learned from each other... looking forward positively :D
Click to expand...

Hi @ecym, pleased to "meet" you! I've considered joining the Jan 15 MTBs thread but was a bit hesitant coz not sure if there are any IVF-ers there, but now that I know I'm not alone, I'll be sure to join in soon! I really admire the courage of those who have gone thru early pregnancy losses, and how brave of them to openly share. Not sure if I could do the same if I was in their shoes...
 
Archie7 said:
Hi @ecym, pleased to "meet" you! I've considered joining the Jan 15 MTBs thread but was a bit hesitant coz not sure if there are any IVF-ers there, but now that I know I'm not alone, I'll be sure to join in soon! I really admire the courage of those who have gone thru early pregnancy losses, and how brave of them to openly share. Not sure if I could do the same if I was in their shoes...
Click to expand...

Losing/terminating an impending child at any stages is never easy, for each family has their own problems and limitations... when you are ready to share your story, you are prepared to move on with your loss...

For me, for start of IVF till now, the worry never stops but that has not prevented me from enjoying the special connection that I have with my baby ger in my womb now!
 
ecym said:
Hi, I had duphaston till 16 weeks ... after that the bb will supported by the placenta...

IVF babies have higher chance requiring neonatal care but it does not equate to all IVF babies... you will know if you require neonatal care as your pregnancy advances...meanwhile just enjoy the pregnancy and stay cheery...
Click to expand...
hi ecym, thank you.. I do feel relieved after hearing you said.. congratulations to u
 
meoow30 said:
hi ecym, thank you.. I do feel relieved after hearing you said.. congratulations to u
Click to expand...

clear one step at a time... i presume you have done your oscar or harmony test now that you are in 16 weeks? you will be going for your detailed scan on your next visit.
 
detailed scan in which week visit and what doc do besides Oscar/ harmony? im thinking to bring forward my appt from next week to this week, as I cant wait to see my bb..
 
bb_love said:
Hi Archie n mosburger, I also hv the same problem. Those didn't undergo wat we went thru, will never know. I used to tell my close friends abt my ivf journey, either they say "where got pain, u got low pain trash hold" or "u didn't do much, how come u can b so tired." There's 1 who pretend to b my friend, in the end, went ard telling ppl that I'm pregnant. Haiz... i really learn my lesson thru the hard way. ::>_<::
I really feel lucky that I'm able to seek advice n share experience w ladies here.
Click to expand...

@bb_love The worst comment I heard from a friend (good friend's hubby) was "Why the need to do IVF? Just go on a holiday, relax and you'll conceive a baby. It's so easy!" He said that coz that was exactly what happened to him and wife. It took all the willpower I had not to throw hot tea in his face, lol!

The most frequent comment I have heard is that a couple can definitely have a baby with IVF as the success rate is 100%, so why should anyone worry about infertility?! Maybe coz the media tends to glorify the wonderful technology behind IVF but it's not interested in talking about the BFNs which are in fact much more than the BFPs. Then when I gently tell them the truth, I can see the look of enlightenment dawn on their faces.

The wife & MIL of this same man told my hubby & mum I should go to her hometown of Beijing to do IVF coz there's a doctor there that has 100% success with his/her IVF patients. Sounds very sketchy, right?

For Christians who struggle with infertility like I did, many don't realise the worst thing to say is "Have faith in God and He will gift you a baby. If you still don't have one, it's because you don't have enough faith or you're not praying hard enough". The bible never promised that God will bless us with children if we have strong faith or pray 24/7, and only one childless Christian couple confirmed this fact with me. Saying such half-true things brings false hope and lots of unnecessary guilt and despair when the hope is not fulfilled. Yet I have had so many well-meaning Christians say that to my face that I need to have more faith and to pray more! It only led me to depression.

Sorry for the mini rant there, haha! Good thing is that we're definitely not alone in our struggles and we can all support each other!
 
meoow30 said:
detailed scan in which week visit and what doc do besides Oscar/ harmony? im thinking to bring forward my appt from next week to this week, as I cant wait to see my bb..
Click to expand...

detailed scan ideally do on week 21...but should be after 20 weeks

You can ask to go for a normal growth scan (if you wanna pay extra), and the sonographer will scan your bb growth and such...
 
meoow30 said:
Hi mommies, I'm 16 weeks and also on duphaston pills till date. I worry for side effect but my doc said this pill has been using for many years. is it safe?

has any of you bought pregnancy insurance? is it true that ivf babies may need more neonatal care but why..are they always less healthy?

btw I congrats to all mommies who bfp!
Click to expand...

@meoow30 Did you buy the compulsory Great Eastern insurance for IVF? This is the only insurance available for IVF babies' neonatal care if *touch wood* they need it. No other insurance coy in SG will sell insurance for IVF babies.
 
hi ecym, noted thanks. will check with doc.

hi archie7, is it the compulsory policy that govt applies to ivf done in govt/pte hospitals? I done my ivf overseas..
 
Archie7 said:
@bb_love The worst comment I heard from a friend (good friend's hubby) was "Why the need to do IVF? Just go on a holiday, relax and you'll conceive a baby. It's so easy!" He said that coz that was exactly what happened to him and wife. It took all the willpower I had not to throw hot tea in his face, lol!

The most frequent comment I have heard is that a couple can definitely have a baby with IVF as the success rate is 100%, so why should anyone worry about infertility?! Maybe coz the media tends to glorify the wonderful technology behind IVF but it's not interested in talking about the BFNs which are in fact much more than the BFPs. Then when I gently tell them the truth, I can see the look of enlightenment dawn on their faces.

The wife & MIL of this same man told my hubby & mum I should go to her hometown of Beijing to do IVF coz there's a doctor there that has 100% success with his/her IVF patients. Sounds very sketchy, right?

For Christians who struggle with infertility like I did, many don't realise the worst thing to say is "Have faith in God and He will gift you a baby. If you still don't have one, it's because you don't have enough faith or you're not praying hard enough". The bible never promised that God will bless us with children if we have strong faith or pray 24/7, and only one childless Christian couple confirmed this fact with me. Saying such half-true things brings false hope and lots of unnecessary guilt and despair when the hope is not fulfilled. Yet I have had so many well-meaning Christians say that to my face that I need to have more faith and to pray more! It only led me to depression.

Sorry for the mini rant there, haha! Good thing is that we're definitely not alone in our struggles and we can all support each other!
Click to expand...

Yes a lot of ppl does not understand that IVF is not a sure thing that you will get a bb.... i was fortunate enough to conceive successfully at first try but the joy was shortlived when I learnt that my then baby boy will not be a normal child. it was an agonizing two weeks as its not easy to have him in the first place and with such a poor diagnosis, hubby and I know the decision really falls upon us and we have to face it TOGETHER.
 


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