Support group - Miscarriages

hi jullchae, i know u must be feeling very helpless and scared about the repeated m/c. i'm not sure if anyone here can recommend a good and empathetic gynae to you for your check up? i think the docs sometimes get a little "numb" after seeing so many m/c cases and forget to deal with our emotional longing to know what really went wrong. have you tried reading the info available online? perhaps u can do that before going for your check up so that u can actually ask the doc some questions and have him/her clarify whether certain tests are necessary.

bb08, i'm sorry to hear about your loss. did your gynae say if there is any problem with the yellowish discharge? if i'm not wrong, as long as there's no itch or smell, it's nothing to worry about. was your gynae concerned that you might develop some sort of infection from the tcm?

hi angela, glad to see that u're getting more active. had wanted to reply to your posts so many times but i really didn't know what i could say to help...

did anyone attend the kkh forum last weekend?
 


Hi Apple,
For both times, gynaes said I need not d&c. Just let everything flush out only. Could not detect any sac or foetus, thus couldn't do foetus test. However my 2nd gynae did a blood test for the 2nd miscarriage (think it's the blood test you mentioned) and it appeared normal though. By the way, what is chromosome defect?

Hi Eternitystar,
What is chemical pregnancy? Both my gynaes did ultrasound scans for me. Could not detect anything at all, only that lining had thickened, tat's all. Did not mention anything about complications. May I know who is your gynae and from which hospital? Is he a dedicated gynae who can help me on my problem? I really need one who can explain things to me and not like the 1st gynae I met. I'm actually very ignorant about such things and tat's why I'm at disadvantage, don't know exactly who to approach and what to look for/ask.
 
hi ladies,

it had been a while since i log in here. well i had my mc in Apr. but things not looking v good for me.

After i had my d&c, my bleeding lasted for 3 whole weeks! i wen back to my gynae & after he scan my womb he says it looks ok. mayb i just needed more time to recover.The bleeding finally stop but 1 wk later i start bleeding again.

I tot this may b my 1st AF as gynae told me it looks like my menses is coming when he scan me tat time. However this time it's worse as it lasted for more than a month!
Initially i tot mayb my menses aso get haywired but it just bleed non stop & I started to get worried. So i wen back to my 1st gynae instead. he feels tat i may be having infections so i was admitted again last wed to do a scope surgery to see what had happened.

Indeed it was infection, & looks quite bad. I was so worried upon hearing this. i'm so scared that i cant get preggie again!
Doc say i will need another 3-4 mth to recover as i had been bleeding for too long. it really demoralised me as i had been waiting for my AF to come so tat i can try again. who noe now this had happened to me.
it's really good to see all u ladies having normal AF again. i don even know will my AF ever come ..? will i be able to conceive again.. it was jus one blow after another...
 
Hi li
My gynae actually ask me to went back to him if my bleeding doesn't stop for the first week... you must take lots of iron to replenish for your blood loss...

Hi Kit
You better contact and ask the sinseh better...cos we dunno what type of medicine he gave you..

Anybody knows when will the AF comes after the D&C? My gynae initially told me its about 10plus days...today he told me will take about another 6 weeks...that means will have to wait till 8 weeks for the AF is it?
 
Quite sad to see so many new nicks in this thread.
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Hi bb08,
my gynae told me 1st AF will come 4 - 6 weeks after the day of D&C. Am still waiting for my 1st AF, coming to 4 weeks now.
 
Applemuffin:
Good to hear that ull have gone through 3 cycles. Should be safe to try after 3rd cycle right wat did your gynae suggest? I think it should be irregardless of your history since I was told every pregnancy is independent.

Angela:
I know how u feel. Ill be so scared to exert myself if I do am blessed to be pregnant again. Somehow this MC I blame myself and work. It happened when I was teaching. Very upset about my line of work.

Nickel:
Thanx. Ive been in my moms good hands now, at least for these few days.

Jullchae:
The fact that u could conceive twice rules out infertility. Sometimes its sheer bad luck that egg doesnt form properly, or our bodies not too strong to hold.

Bb08:
U arent alone. Id mine just last week and also havent gotten over it.

Li:
I know how u feel, the anxiety about wanting one. Its best to wait for your uterus to heal fully before trying.

Mspiggy:
Wish u luck, yours should be soon. As I just had mine last week, Ive a long wait ahead. Sigh..
 
hi li, i hope you aren't feeling any pain/discomfort due to the infection. what's your doc going to do to treat it? please take care and try to get as much info as you can from your doc regarding the things you can/cannot do. i think you should avoid seafood and anything that may affect the healing of your uterus for the next few weeks too. don't know how you feel about this but i think your gynae seems rather careless... you actually bled for so long before he discovered that something might be wrong. will you be going for frequent reviews to monitor how well you're healing?
 
cookie,
i'm also a teacher too. I do blame myself sometimes for my mc... so i told myself this: will not give myself any pressure from now onwards, cos my body is more impt, now whenever i have short day, i'll just pack up and go, go for shopping or massage.. to relax myself!
so u do the same too.. i just sign up a yoga course at csc club!
 
Hi Jullchae...

A chemical pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg does not implant into the uterine wall. If a pregnancy test is taken just at the right time it will be positive, however, when a repeat test is taken several days later it will be negative. A chemical pregnancy leaves the couple to cope with the difficult news of thinking they were pregnant when in reality they are miscarrying. However, majority of women who have a chemical pregnancy never know they are pregnant before they miscarry and begin what they think is their normal menstrual cycle.

Signs and Symptoms of a Chemical Pregnancy

Due to the fact that in a chemical pregnancy a fertilized egg does not implant into the uterus most women do not experience signs and symptoms of pregnancy (ie. tender breast, nausea, and / or fatigue). There are a few reports of women who have been pregnant in the past who state that they felt pregnant with their chemical pregnancy. There may be mild abdominal cramping as well as mild spotting just prior to what most women think is their normal menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle usually begins on time or a few days late.

Chemical pregnancies are much more common than you might think. In fact, between 50% and 60% of all first-time pregnancies are thought to end in miscarriage C a large majority of which can be attributed to chemical pregnancies.

The difference between a chemical pregnancy and most other forms of miscarriage is that many women dont even realize that they have experienced one. This is because the vast majority of chemical pregnancies occur within the initial six weeks of pregnancy, when most typical pregnancy symptoms are not yet present, meaning that women is unlikely to take a pregnancy test.
Of course, with ongoing developments in pregnancy test sensitivity, women are becoming increasingly able to detect a pregnancy early on C as early as 3 days before a predicted period. As a result, it is likely that more women will begin detecting chemical pregnancies.

What Causes a Chemical Pregnancy?
Determining the reason for a chemical pregnancy can be difficult, however, there are a few known causes, such as:

Chromosome Abnormality: Chromosomal abnormalities are by far the most common cause of a chemical pregnancy, and are present at the time of conception, preventing the baby from forming properly. As a result, a miscarriage occurs.

Uterine Abnormalities: Abnormalities in the uterus, such as the presence of uterine fibroids, can interfere with implantation, leading to a chemical pregnancy.

Hormonal Deficiency: Women with luteal phase defects and other hormone deficiencies have difficulty maintaining a pregnancy due to a lack of hormones. As a result, the body experiences a miscarriage.

Chemical pregnancies are primarily diagnosed by confirming the presence of pregnancy through a pregnancy blood test. Once a pregnancy has been confirmed, your health care provider will monitor your hCG levels to ensure that your pregnancy is moving along smoothly. If there is a sudden decrease in your hCG levels, this may signal a miscarriage.

If these levels drop, an ultrasound will likely be performed to detect any signs of life in the uterus. If a chemical pregnancy has occurred, no embryo will be seen and no heartbeat will be heard.

I hope the above info helps becos I believe this is wat happen to me
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Hi
Can check with you all how long medical leave were you on after the d&c? I've been on 2 weeks already but still feeling not ready to go back to work...

Wanted to extend but paisei that ppl might say i make use of this thingy of not going back to work...sigh...
 
dear gals... please take care of yourselves... I am sure when we hold our dearies in our arms, we would appreciate the efforts we put-in in building our health.

I was telling my husband, women had been under-appreciated by men in many sense for many centuries, and the only way this could change is to let men have the chance to taste pregnancy... so for all of us here, pls take good care... self love, self care...

Hi Ah Kat, I m gg for the KKH forum, I already registered. anyone else gg?

NIckel, can share the contact of the massuer aunty? thanks.
 
bb08,
i was given 2 weeks hospitalisation leave...
and me did the ops beginning of june, so its during the june holiday... actually have longer than 2 weeks rest...
if u r not ready, do tell ur gynae abt it, i'm sure he/she will understand and extend ur MC
 
my gynae shows no compassion one...maybe he've seen alot of these cases liao...

actually alot of ppl dun understand what we've been going thru...they will only said dun be sad, can try again... ppl just feel that miscarriages are very common and we are the common ones..

all these while, i have been suppressing myself whether infront of my family or hubby. Especially to my hubby...He just started off with his new business and he simply had no time for me...I do not want to add to his burden by crying and seeking for his attention...

maybe its because of my suppression of feelings thats why i still cannot recover from it yet... my families, relatives and friends all thought i'm a strong gal and will be able to handle it...but i can't... really feel like breaking down...
 
apple, yr 3rd AF arrived? I m getting excited as my 3rd Af should be coming soon, am experiencing the per-menstrual fatigue..

btw, i was at the Very special walk last sat. were u there too? I saw a few cute doggies and their owners preparing for the walk but not sure which is u though. I was with my white/brown jrt, but she was in my arms most of the time cos she does not like crowded places and noise... haha.. I think she thinks she is human...
 
bb08, u probably would need his support and understanding to help u feel better. your hubby also needs to acknowledge that you are indeed feeling this way, and u need him too. And he would need to find time for u, afterall, family is still the most important. do find time to talk with him... for all u know, he might not know how to talk about it to u too... k?

when i had my DnC, my hubby also has a lot to deal with at work as he also just started his business. but when he comes home late night, he would spend some private times with me (even if it was just 5 min) to talk to me, and I felt a lot better... of cos i do cry by myself at times, but his understanding was very crucial and it made me felt understood, and that I was not alone...
 
bb08,
it took me quite some time to get over the whole thing. I believe that talking does help! the more u talk to ppl abt it, the more u'll feel better.. at least for me it works. By talking, u'll find out that actually we are not alone... there are lot more ppl going thru this without us knowing... cos they dun talk abt it....when u got the experience, they also open up and share their experience... i find it helpful esp when u see them having 2 or 3 kids now...

go ahead and cry all u want now... and after that u'll be fine... i believe ur hb will not find u a burden... dun ever think that way... go out with ur hb more often, spend some time together and talk abt the whole issue, u'll find urself feeling better this way... hope it helps and dun give up ok?
 
hi there, what a lot of posts for a few days.

To all of you new here, please come often to chat. Keeping it inside will only cause more repression and frustration.

Irene and apple, finally the 3rd AF is coming! It seems so long and yet so fast. Do take good care of your bodies whether or not preparing to ttc.

I am on MC today for a bad recurring flu. I finally gave in to take up antibiotics which i previously tried to avoid cos of the pregnancy. I am reaching my 4th month soon (time seems to crawl by) and my danger zone (last year mc-ed near this time) so taking the medications just make me feel scared cos as much as possible, i hope not to introduce foreign "foods" to the body. I do hope to stay positive. Will update more after my gynae check up this wkend.
 
Hi all
Very sad to see new nicks here. I hope that this thread will stop soon ie no more mc for everyone here and if it is active, it is only to update each other of our children.


I accompanied hubby to genting last weekend..on sun had slight bleeding. I burst into tears when I saw the bleeding coz I thought it meant my AF haywire again. Was supposed to be O but how come AF come? Saw gynae on Mon and he told me it is mid cycle bleeding from O. I never had it before. Does anyone ever experienced this and can share? If bleeding, when did O actually take place. Before, during or after bleed? Coz O bleeding is about 2 days.
 
Hi Irene
Think you more lucky than me... after the DnC, I straight away moved to my mom's place as she can take care of me...my hubby was so busy with his work that he dun even have time to call me...and he only visited me twice when i asked him to do so..and the worst part is i can't cry infront of him...as he will scold me and asked me to move forward...from then on i dun dare to cry when he's around...

Hi Kit
I didn't give up..the thing is i dun have friends who have the same experience to talk to until now... thanks to all of you
 
bbo8

i can probably understand what its like, there were times when he was too tired and too emotioanlly drained and the last thing he needed was to see a crying wife. But i would still pick a suitable to time to talk to him, bcos i feel that he needs to understand what i m going through and how I feel. If I can;t share with him, and what is he there for? and I want to get things straight so that it would not lead to further misunderstandings and miscommnications. the last thing i need is to carry this baggage and blame him for the rest of my life.

I can;t move back with my mum cos my mum can;t cook, so he would cook whenver he could and I would also do things to make myself happy.... hope u can find time to do things to make yourself happy too...
 
I'm taking this part time course and will be having my exam next week... so abit stress...

What's more, i've been missing from half of the classes due to spotting and had to be bedrest...after i sacrificed so many things, i still lost it...
 
kit_mum2b - Thanks! bukit batok is too faraway from me. Think my mil is willing to help me brew.

bb08 - try to relax, health is most important. take some time to grieve and recover.

I have learn to take things as they come. I used to think that my case is worst, having stillbirth but there are always people who are worst than me and they manage to pull through the emotions and went on with their life. just my 2 cents worth....
 
Just had a good cry just now...feeling better now...
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anybody on TCM now? there's this sinseh highly recommended by my friend at Jurong East st 21... anybody been there before?
 
Hi BB08,

A good cry is a good way to let steam out!

Me on TCM, I saw the sinseh at Jurong East St 22, during the 2 wks mini confinment I took her med..
 
Hi Eternitystar
is your sinseh at blk 202 (YingChuan Medical Hall)
heard that she dun entertain walk in, have to make appt... did your hubby went with you?

My friend told me that when the sinseh saw her hubby, she can tell that he had some problems in the sperm area...
 
cookie,

sorry to let u get emotional again... me too....

Irene,

really hope as wat u said, we girls here sure wil hold our dearies in our arms...
 
The thread moving so fast as what the other gals says... is sad to see new nick here.

Hi Apple, maybe like wat you said, is beta to take it easy as things will come naturally. I dint know drinking too much of the red dates will have heavy AF.. will watch out... 2more days will be 3weeks of my MC... still v conduse inside.. now just hope AF come soon.

Hi Cookies, guess work stress do play a part somehow. But do be positive and if is ours is ours.. maybe just not the right time yet. Have faith.

Hi Xuanting, thks... as i am feeling much beta day by day... like bb08, mu hubby is so busy wih work and cant reali take leave to keep me company. just have to stay happy and look forward for the time being. coming here do keep my mind off abit as i know all of us here are equally sad for our losses.

Hi jullchae, yours look like chemical MC as my 1st MC is chemical MC also and there is no reason to it. sometimes there is no answer to our MC also.. like my 2nd MC at 17weeks... water just bursted for no reason also... dun give up... try again
 
Irene,

the massage lady is call aunt sadiah..her number is 97724579. i am using her for 3 session only..its $45 for 75min..quite relax and shiok lor..she will do wrapping for u, abit uncomfortable but can help to slim down leh
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bb08,

crying is good lor..at least vent out all the sadness..dun wori, juz tok to us lor..i am glad to find u gals to share our problems..
 
Hi BB08,

I told my gynae about her the Chinese sinseh diagnosis and her recommendation to a fertility specialist, but he said my condition is not as bad since I'm able to get pregnant...

Ya the downside abt seeing her is hv to go and take "q" no v early in the morning, as early as 4 am alrd pple "q" as she starts seeing her patients from 630 am - 3 pm in the afternoon. Her consultation are from Wed-Sun.

I saw her after my M/C to get some medicine to "tiao li" my hubby din accompany me...

FYI, my dad went to "Q" and get the no for me at 530 am in the morn i alrd got Q no : 45 le... :p

She only sees 100 patients a day, so normally if late u can't get any no le
 
Hi eternitystar
I can confirm the sinseh you refering to is my friend's recommendation. She is indeed very popular...initially wanted to see her but then the queue is too long which cannot tahan...think will still stick to my old sinseh...

not popular = no queue
biggrin.gif
 
hi xbliss, i hope you'll get well soon! keep us updated of your visit to the gynae ok? i feel excited for you.
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hi roxyz, i've read about ovulation bleeding before somewhere. not sure what it means but i don't remember reading anything bad about it. i guess the good side of it is that you're definitely ovulating. what else did your doc say?
 
irene, yes i was there at the walk..i have with me a MS. Was loitering ard the dog run area and even witnessed 3 dogs fighting..so scary. 3rd AF started yesterday...quite happy cos at least it is coming unlike the 2nd MC which had Af delayed for 3 months.

angela, i think the red dates tea actually helped to bu..maybe i drank too much..thats why so much AF when it first came. But better more than less rite..hee..so continue with yr red dates drink...good to bu yr body. I am gg to start drinking again after AF clears.

roxyz, dont worry, it could be some old blood flowing. or maybe it is implantation? my TCM used to tell me O can happen as early as CD10 or as late as CD20. So maybe u can BD from CD10 onwards (on/off) till your next AF date. Should be able to strike.
 
kit,

her massage is mainly for post-natal..its more for relaxing and to help reduce wind and water..she always tell me that i need to do sit up to reduce tummy lor..

maybe u can give her a call to check with her..
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apple... i m still waiting, should be these 2 days, we both jia you hor! if we strike this august, then EDD april or may, keke...
 
Kit_mum2b:
Yes, Im trying to let go of my work. Im not going to care if students cant finish syllabus and all. But I do have tons of marking, sigh as I teach two core subjects. U already got yourself started. For me, I already told a colleague when I get back to work, well take some time off each week to catch up on our hobby.

Bb08:
Im given 2 weeks hospitalisation leave. I also dun feel like working esp after this MC which I partly blame my work for. U need to let off yr emotions. Crying and talking abt yr experience to pple help a lot. If u dun wish to burden hubby, can share with us here or friends who understand. Maybe u can try talking out with yr mom since shes looking after u. My mom is also looking after me this week. She listen to me narrate my experience umpteen times liao.

Inuovi:
How r u feeling today? Ive stopped tearing, but mood still low, and get grumpy easily. R u still bleeding/spotting? I bled more the first two days, then next few days spot very little. Today, dunno why suddenly have cramps and start bleeding again. Sigh I really wonder when will this bleeding/spotting ever gonna stop!

Irene & applemuffin:
Wish u ladies luck in striking jackpot. For me, I think I gotta wait til November to ttc. Sigh. Looks like a very long wait.
 
irene & applemuffin, i'm so envious! how i wish i could ttc with you guys but unfortunately my tcm physician says i still have a long way to go in terms of building up my health. hope you both can strike; would be so nice if your edds are around the same time!

kit_mum2b, how is your tcm progress? mine said i have made some improvement and now finally can tou1 chi1 a bit of fried stuff liao! fruits still limited though. but at least the list of things i can eat is getting longer each time, and i'm quite happy for that.
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hi cookie, what level are you teaching? i remember when my favourite teacher had an early miscarriage, we were all very sad and missed her during her mc but no one dared to go up to her and send her our well wishes when she finally came back because we were so scared of making her sad. glad your mom's taking care of you now. will you be there throughout the entire duration of your mc?
 
irene, if that happens, i will be v happy...but hor, with my history, i also worry lah...maybe will hold ttc for a while...scare scare..but again, not like when u want, u will hit jackpot...dilemma...tough rite..

cookie, no worries abt the time to ttc. good to take care of yourself first..then the next preggie will be smooth
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when is yr next checkup w/gynea? can tell him/her abt the blooding but they will usually say it is normal.

xuanting, dont envious, 3 cycles will come n pass v quickly for u too...at least now u can eat fried food..hee.. so what are your TCm recommend to u now? more herbs?
 
hi cookie..

im fine.. thank u.. bt just feeling v emotional when seeing babies.. this a.m saw one in the lift when i went to work... i hold bk my tears n when door open, take a look of him n my tears just dropped... sighz.....

Wa i real xian leh... some close colls asked me y i so early come bk to wrk.. Cos i only given 2 days mc ...zzzz

Actually i kind of scared to pregnant again...
but yet oso look forward.. Gynae told me try again in few mths time if ready n of cos 20% of m/c still there n yet its like gambling wor...

I dont noe shld I change to another gynae if I get preggie again leh... change of 'luck' or I shld say to change for a more sympathatic gynae..

I quite like Dr Lisa..
Anyone tried using her b4?
 
Hi Inuovi Gal,

I know it's especially hard for the past few days but u must get over it ok...

It's easier said than done but u must overcome it okay. Initially like you I oso have the same fear as you but I believe we must have faith in ourselves!
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Hi Apple

i still tot of stop drinking after 1 month.. but like wat you say is bu so maybe shd drink for a while more. I also hope my Af report soon but shd be as during the scan after my MC, they d saw some eggs in my ovaries.. so mean Af will report just dunno when. Previous MC mine report after 3weeks.. tomorrow will be my 3weeks so shall wait. But this 2days having quite alot of white discharge... will monitor as if it get worse will go see my gynae again.

Alot of people say " Ba Zhen " soup is good after Af, maybe shd drink that too.
 
xuanting,
my 1st AF report liao... stop my medicine for a while... yesterday thot AF clear then, then start taking it again... then afternoon got some bleeding........so i stop again........... going to see TCM tonite! see wat she say.... hopefully i can make bb soon.......2 more cycles more!

angela,
i also heard that ba zhen is good! but how to make soup....?
 
inovi gal,
i also keep thinking whether shd i change to another gynae... sort of like change luck.. tat's wat my father say also... but i quite comfy with this gynae (Adrain tan from tmc)...so still thinking......
 
hi apple, i'm on a different mix of herbs now. he also said durians are good for me at this stage and i was like, huh? i just hope can quickly graduate to eating everything plus start ttc-ing also. u been taking your folic and multi-vitamins right? don't know if you remember one of irene's post about soaking feet in warm water, i read that it helps circulation and brings more blood to nourish the womb. i think it's helpful if you're planning to ttc to start doing it too. jia you!

hi inuovi, where's this dr lisa from?
 
hi kit, hope to hear good news from you after your tcm consultation! was your pms the same as last time? my cramps seem to have gone *touchwood* but i felt more bloated and even a little bit nauseous.

my girlfriend recommended me to see this wk tan at thomson. she's supposed to be very experienced but i wonder if the queue is long and whether these busy gynaes have enough time to spend with each patient. really hard to make a choice.
 


xuanting,
mine the 1st AF cramp is bad... i din even go to work the first day...its that bad... i used to have cramp also... but every time eat panadol to relieve my pain... is it bad to health?

wk tan... from where huh?
my girl friend recommend me another doc called Dr Sim... its a SHE, my gynae (a guy) last time is quite sympathetic... i heard that female gynae not so... dunno is it true...
 

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