Support group - Miscarriages

hi sunbelle,
i ordered from ihost for my 1 week confinement too. the food were ok but i had no appetite during that week, so didnt eat much. mostly drank the soup. felt the food were a bit bland. maybe no appetite during that week. for me, i dont take pig's internal organs, so they replaced it with some other food. the following week, i went back my mil place, she showed me a confinement recipe book. i didnt know there are so much variety for confinement food.
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well, maybe she preparing for my next pregnancy ba. felt sad cos my in laws are quite old already and they must be yearning for a grandchild. sigh... gotto jiayou le. :p

shiseru,
glad that u managed to quit smoking. i quit 1 yr ago and picked it up few weeks before i knew i was pregnant cos of some relationship problem with my hubby. back then i felt so down.... so picked it up again. then came the m/c that made me smoked even more cos felt worse. that was the worst period of my life when both loved ones hurt me so much. wonder if it is a blessing in disguise, now at least my hubby treat me better, just pray the good times will continue and not only be for a short while. i m now still trying to quit smoking.... need to prepare for next one... :p

i have made appt to see gynae next thurs, which is my day 12, to scan if my ovaries are big enough so that can plan for BD. hope can ttc tis month.
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my AF now only left with spotting, really back to pre-M/C days. my usual AF last about 3 days and spot for 1-2 days.
 


hi Elxir:
It is really to good start to stop smoking. I support your decision! Not for only baby but for yourself.
Wah Shiseru:
How did your colleagues react? How come they never receive the email?
I told my boss, my lead and all my colleagues in my team(all guys) I had to do DnC using SMS. When I returned 2 weeks later, they just talk to me normal, no questions asked. Men are good at act normal and avoiding topic. hahah but sad lah, I think they went to ask other mother figure from other team to come talk to me.
 
Hi dustee
ya, am very glad to hv my son already..feel especially sweet when hear him call me mummy when my mc happen.. But at same time feel bad as already disappoint him twice telling him he got sibling but end up no more again.. And everytime see him alone playing.. I feel sad too.. He is coming to 7yrs old this yr, really hope to give him a sibling asap by next yr..sigh.. Urs still young so still ok.. Now our only kid is really our pillar support us to continue trying and never give up.. Hope we can be mummy again soon...

Tgif gals..

Hi exclr
u got to quit smoking now since already plan for ttc.. Better hv a healthy body then can hv a healthy bb.. Wish u good luck this month..;) bfp to u and all of us soon..
 
elxir, I started smoking since age 15, now i am 35, when you have been smoking for so long, it's like smoke for the sake of puffing (like sex horz, bd for the sake of making babies when one TTC >_<) Anyway i am super glad i managed to stop smoking once and for all. I am sure you can too, healthy babies will be our biggest motivation to rid the bad habits!

JTML, only that 2 colleague got no company email address. Bo bian lohz :/ But nowadays, I am better control of my feelings, and I want to believe it's the rose quartz and jade that I am wearing helps to heal my heart and calm my emotion.
 
JTML,

My last visit to gynae was last week and he told me I'll be expecting it anytime. Think I should wait till next week and if it not coming then I go see him again ...cos the cramp is rather uncomfortable. It's been 7 weeks since the MC.I have seen my gynae 2 times after MC. Next appointment is 6 mths later or to see him when I've conceived.

Shiseru,

I tink all the ladies here shows remarkable courage ...
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Hi gals,

i am now suffering from bad cramps after D &amp; C. the first two days were okie without blood and cramps. but last nite was nitemare with intense cramps. gt to take painkillers to ease it. hope tonite i can have a good nite of sleep and hope the cramps to go away.

the food from ihost is quite nice but due to cramps dun have muchie appetite. do u gals suffer from such bad cramps huh? i called my gynae too and he said could be due to the black chicken soup i had yesterdae. i have to monitor the situation. anyone like me huh? pls help
 
Black chicken soup? It's cooked with 当归 or 八珍? From what I know, you should only take these 2 after all blood clot is clear.

During cramps, hot water + drinking DOM before I sleep and cover my tummy with blanket to heat the tummy up. Also, confinement food add lots of ginger so do eat it (taste yucky at 1st but I learned to accept the taste gradually). All these method won't cure it but help relieving the pain and wind.

If the pain still persist, go see gynae for just in case.
 
hi JTML &amp; shiseru,
thanks for the encouragement to quit. i will need to work on it again. it took me great pains to quit the last round since it is a bad bad habit.hahaha... sometimes like shiseru said, it's like puffing for the sake of puffing.
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guess the only motivation now is the fact that i m looking forward to ttc. :p

sunbelle,
if u suffer pain further, do see ur gynae. do take good care during the confinement period.

i was lucky that my colleagues didnt ask me much about my m/c. i emailed my closer colleagues about my condition and told them not to ask me anything when i m back. so, when i went back, we never talk anything about it. when others ask me, i just told them i was sick and rested at home to fully recover lo.
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Hi Sunbelle,

I was told after D&amp;C I have to go back to my gynae if bad cramps and heavy flow when home.

If your cramp persist, do go and see the gynae in case of complication.

Take care!! Hope u r feeling better.
 
Yeng, I also find some of the chinese herb yucky but damn they are really good lohz, you notice your body get stronger after the confinement. Body is really weak after the mc, all thanks to my mom cooked all these confinement food &amp; take care of me, but my poor mum got no granddaughter to carry :'(

elxir, that's why horz puff for the sake of puffing, actually can stop de. And i tell you, to stop it once and for all is the best method instead of trying to cut down slowly.

Sunbelle, i dun have D&amp;C but I heard from other mummies that pain and cramp is common after D&amp;C, as long as it is not severe persistent kinda pain, no foul smell, no heavy bleeding, no fever. If you have any of these, please go see your gynae immediately.
 
HI Sunbelle:
Avoid cold drinks okay and avoid eating things that have been put in the fridge.
One of those days, it was only a few days after my DnC, I sneak out and then I brought a butter cake, it was store in the display fridge so my mum advise me not to take it. I was craving, I took half a slice. Then the bad cramps came like 2 hours later. I had to endure until go toilet lor to shit then no more. After that I just avoid the cake lor, my mum say the refrigerated cake got "wind". She ask me drink the warm longan tea lor. I went to rest.
Yheng may be right, Avoid dang gui if you are still bleeding, one can only can eat after finish bleeding. else it will worsen the cramps and increase bleeding.
 
Hi sunbelle
the gals r right.. There was one time i thought gd to drink danggui after dnc since i anemic and had lost so much blood.. Then suddenly got heavy blood flow again.. My mum in law and tcm doc next day advise cant eat danggui now as it meant 活血.. So cant eat until it is clean.. I dun hv much cramp after dnc as all blood mostly clear.. Think thanks to the tcm medicine i hv been taking.. No clamp and giddy too for my first af after dnc though i bleed alot..;) so if u hv clamp still, pls fun delay further.. Go see gynea soon.. No cold food is true too.. Dun drink plain water.. Jus take red date tea everyday..Take care..
 
Hi Ladies,

My 1st AF is here finally. Next week will see my Chinese Sinseh
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Silly me was dancing when I knew my mense is here, my hubby asked me why I so happy
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Really reminds me when my 1st menses reporting.

Counting down to ttc soon
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stefie happy for you. like you i was overjoyed when my 1st menses returned also.

Usually people will loathe AF, especially those TTC, AF is an eye sore! :D
 
hey stefie,
glad that ur AF arrived.
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only for this round we look forward to AF. but when ttc, we will not welcome AF. hahaha....

sunbelle,
do rest more and not drink any plain water. the longan drink really helps to warm the body and reduce cramps.
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my mil boil longan with old ginger, red dates and rock sugar. take care!

shiseru,
thanks for the encouragement. with the motivation and aim of having a healthy baby, i will succeed to quit.
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Hi stefle
now i am the one saying 来红大吉 to you.. Keke.. Happy for u too.. So u gonna try ttc this cycle? All the best to u..;)
really happy for me too that af is over for first cycle.. Counting down to two more af.. Time pls pass faster.. Wish all of us here are in time to hv 2010 bb..;) jiayou!!
 
stefie, i think your mood will be lifted pretty much too ^^

I tested with O-kit, last month ovulate on day 11, but this month NOT. Today already day 13, i can see both lines appear though the test line is little lighter than the control line. I reconfirmed with clear blue but BOO NEGATIVE :'(

We started BD alternate days since day 6, tiring sia... >_<
 
Hi shiseru,joanna,stefie, elxir,jovial,JTML,

thank you so muchie for giving me so muchie support all these while. indeed i have resolved the mystery of my cramps. called my gynae. is caused by the fact that i am suffering from constipation and also have not gone to the toilet for the past 4 daes.

wanted to go A &amp; E the other dae and my sis in law suggested giving a call to the gynae first. i was tossing for the past 2 nites becos of the pain. my poor hubby was woke up becos of me.

was watching micheal jackson video just now and was weeping when one of his bros said his stay was too short. cos it jus reminded me of my baby. i started cryfing profusely and cannot stop. i guess my tears havent drp up and it was so pain that it cuts through the heart. esp the part when my gynae asks me whether do i wan to name my baby, as he can said a prayer for the baby. whenever, i tink of this aspect, tears started rolling non stop. i tot of crying all i wan before ready to announce the news. a lot of good frens come and visit me today. i was happie that i did not cry in front of them.

jus wanted to cry til when the next time when people ask, i am okie to share without cyring.

good to hear that ur AF is here hehehe
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baby dust to all. hope u all move to another thread soon heheheh
 
It's okay to cry my dear, it's natural.

It has been almost 3 months for me, though i can better control my feelings nowadays but I still cry sometimes. There I cried just now watching 百万歌星, there were 2 cute little girls and that made me think of my daughter. If i have not lost her at 20 weeks, I should be giving birth next month and she should look as cute as those 2 appeared on TV.

Hang in there sunbelle, you'll get better. *patz
 
Hi gals
yes.. Very upset and angry for the incident happen recently at amk.. Did u all see the news? A father kill his adorable son and daughter and commit sucide.. How can a father so 残忍?can do it.. Fr the photos, the kids are so adorable.. Only at age 3 and 5..how can he do that? I really pity the mother.. only One day and lost the whole family, how can she take it? Sigh.. I feel so sad and heartpain for the children sacrifice because of the father.. Cant imagine how can the mother take it herself.. This news had affect me quite abit yesterday when knowing it.. The kids are so innocent and die just because of a bad man.. Angry and sadz.. Sigh.. Sorry, jus need to pour out..
 
I saw the header but I have no courage to read the whole article. This basta*d has killed both his children while we have lost ours and longing to have one so much. So cruel~~~
 
Yeah the press article is a depressing one.

hmmhmm my cramps are getting lesser now and started drinking DOM wine. this whole espiode made me treseasure my family members, and good frens well cos they rushed down to visit me. i guess in life there is so much u can do,sometimes is jus not within our control. i have yet to been out of the house. my hubby goin for a day surgery this sat. to be frank,i am worried for him. although is a minor one, i am still worried. yeah not sure issit my own emotions or wat.

pls give me strength to brave through this period of our lives.
 
Hi Sunbelle,

Be brave. Life is like a roller coaster ride. When there are downs, there are UPS!!!

Hang on!

Post ur feelings here. We share ur tots.

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Ling,

Don't think MC is totally related to age. I had my 1st MC at 28/29.

Wish me luck - I'm TTC-g this cycle. This week is the golden period (if the egg gets released lah).

Cheers!
 
Hey OP!

We just attribute that to bad luck. Nothing we can do. For me I am super vexed.. The freaking AF not really visiting yet but just keep giving hints of her gracing. It have been 10 weeks and I am so anxious. I really want to start TTC-ing because I feel as before and dont wish to waste time but the dowager.. wane like the full moon...!!!!

We brush that away now and I am sure you will strike! =))

We probably hear good news from you in 2 weeks!
 
The AMK's tragedy is really heart-wrecking...there must be must some underlying issue which trigger the father's cruel action and ended his own live as well. Keeping our marriage strong is the greatest gift we can give to our future children.

Sunbelle,

Glad that you're feeling better. We all have fears &amp; worries ... but we'll be stronger as time progesses. Hang in there!
 
Ling, 10 weeks and your first menses has yet returned?? That's awfully long wait, did you ask your gynae? O_O

Yeng, have your 1st menses returned?
 
Shiseru, ya..just came yesterday 6 weeks+ after my miscarriage. But mine in lumps and waterly (with blood) discharge. Is yours like that as well? 1st menses after MC is usually longer?

Ling, It might be good to consult your gynae on this. Stress can delayed the menses as well...
 
Yeng, did you gynae clear the blood clot after you deliver?

Mine menses came 4 weeks after the m/c. It was heavy for the 1st 3 days (coz took lotsa tonic during confinement) but no lumps. My menses is usually 4 days, but the 1st menses returned after the mc lasted a week.
 
All came out completely so no D&amp;C required. I took a lot of tonic as well during confinement (still taking some after confinement) ...maybe my body react differently after the MC.

But the cramp is super painful(might be the clots) ...but after the DOM b4 sleep helps a lot. This morning woke up with 2 blood clots... the size of 2 white chalk...Yuck!
 
Hi Shiseru,

I have menses like for 1-2 days after 4th and 7th weeks but in my opinion too short to regard as the real thing. I double check with BBT and dont looks like it as well. On and off there is brown or red discharge but no pain and no smell so that is normal. I am going to my gynae on week 12 to give my mind a complete closure. I have read forums that is because HCG level not intune thus spotting continues or prolong period and some pregant with twins (in my case) have double HCG so might take even longer for it to come down. Worse still I always have irregular period so going to the doctor any earlier will surely be asked to take medication or just wait for it.

I loath going to my gynae because see so many pregger women. Not their fault but is just I am being jealous. I am going to make an appointment nevertheless! =)) Think 12 weeks is good to give an overall.

Yeng I think I have that as well... I also took quite some tonic and observed all the confinement rules. My TCM physician also said that she cannot detect anything wrong with me taking my pulse and infact once my mense return she said can TTC right away and I have been faithfully drinking all the medicines still.

I am just totally confused by this whole epsiode.
 
What was the press article about? I think i totally skipped it.

Ling, the bleeding could just be hormones haywire?

3 months after M/C. body seems to be back to normal, menses seems still alittle haywire, but should be okay and chart-able after a couple more cycles for me.

Emotionally wise.. i think i pretty much can't take it if another m/c happens again
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anyone been to japan? what's there to see &amp; buy? :D
 
Lynn,

That is most likely for my case. Warp hormones and everything just seems crazy. Just need patience.... which I nary have any at this point of time. I dont think it is actual bleeding but more like discharge. whatever needs healing hopefully have already heal by now otherwise I think I would have a big problem.

At the same time, I too dont think I can take it if MC once more. I lost 2 at 1 time and that is enough to make me bonkers even after 10 weeks. Time does heal but damn slowly~!
 
Yeng, immediately after my placenta came out complete after I delivered my daughter, my gynae use a tool (tip looked like a duck beak) cleared all the blood clot out and there was alot! It felt like your intestines kena pull out - eww gross! Becoz the blood clots was cleared, I did not experience pain nor cramp after that. And my 1st menses returned has no blood clots as well.
 
Ling, if it's spotting/bleeding for 1-2 days, I don't think that's real menses.

No one will want M/C to happen, definitely not another one if we already had one previously. I believed I will be very paranoid with my next pregnany and it's not gonna be an enjoyable one but at the same time I'll be more mentally prepared.
 
Lynn, i also.. dunno why there is such things called miscarriage. I hope god bless those legally married and desire to have kids to strike BFP and not to those who aren't married/dun want children to strike and later choose to abort!
 
Shiseru, After the placenta came out, the midwife press my tummy &amp; lots of clot came out. During confinement I also have but no cramp. Guess what I have now is the leftover bah ...

Lynn, no ladies here want to go thru it again too ...the pain is simply unbearable (I told my hubby I want to bang my head on the wall and die). Be positive &amp; don't give up yet!
 
Shiseru,

2 school of thoughts on that.. some say yes some say no... Although my mind say no it is not I actually can feel it is mense flow. Unlike discharge I technically doesnt even know when I have them. I cant describe the feeling. Just weird me..

Anyway no matter how mentally prepared you are you also will not be able to accept any miscarriage in my opinion. I thought I was mentally prepared because although the babies had good heartbeats I was still going around telling my hubby not to tell anyone incase anything happen. Something eventually happen and I still hue and cry like a part of me died.

Bad enough the miscarriage and not my dowager playing hide and seek which is killing me! I really hope God help me through the path he planned for me because for my entire life this is got to be the worst months of emotional heartache.
 
Ling,
My HB and I decided not to tell people about our pregnancy too in case such things happen. Sometimes,I wonder if i told my mom, she could have given me more tonics/herbs/watever to prevent MC. I was suprised how depressed I was about it cos when I found out I was preggie, I reminded both my HB and myself that MC happens to 1 out of 6 preggie...so I thought i would have been mentally prepared. Still i cried like a bb. I don't think i can take it too if it happens the second time.
Have gone back to work after 1 week (after working from home last week)...really wish i could stop work entirely...no motivation at all.
Can't wait till Dec to try again.
Good luck to all and hope that we all have a 2010 bb
 
Ling, my mentally prepared isnt refer to another miscarraige or in my case stillbirth since it's lost after 20 weeks of pregnancy. But I will be more mentally prepared for whatever battles or challenges during the next pregnancy. The previous one hit us so suddenly and gave no mercy nor any time for us to think and decide how to react. The whole world around us collasped, baby kicking inside made my heart ache and bleed, my husband and I were afraid to touch my tummy. I really do not know how I survived through that period. Everything happened too fast.

I have been guilty and blamed myself that I ended my child's life but.. the defect was severe and if we insisted to bring her into this world, it will hurt us more to see her suffer.

I am scare, becoz i had a pregnancy history of NTD, the risk of having another one with NTD increase. If it happens (touch wood) again, I... I dunno.. but our desire of wanting a child is much greater than the fear of losing another, we are ready to try again.

I want to keep a positive mindset, for the sake of my dear husband and families. One day, I believed we will have our bundle of joy.
 
hi shiseru,
u are so strong. dont worry, god will bless u with a healthy baby one day.

and to the others too! babydust to all of us! jiayou jiayou jiayou.
 
pixie,

*pat* I know exactly how you feel.. we blame everything we can think of =(.

Here is an excerpt from my blog a few days after the mc.

"We blamed the thyroid but the bloodworks I monitored with the endocrin doc was near perfect throughout the pregnancy. We blamed God for taking the angels away but thought it was his way of making sure we get good babies. We blamed the milk I drank because I had a bad stomach near the week where we suspect the baby stop growing."

It took me a couple of weeks later to accept it was most likely chorosomal abornomalities and there simply nothing we can prevent it. I told my mum and dad about it and 1 of my best friend know and that's about it.Save me plenty of explanation and I find it aid healing. If I need to blah I would come here to seek my sisters =)

Shiseru, I am just glad you pick yourself up because I can only imagine your pain. I probably say this before but I have to repeat it again.It just takes too much out of someone to go through pain like that.

I think we are a little emo in this thread hope no one is disturbed.
 
hi ladies,

i'm new in this thread/forum. I believe, in this thread i could get support from all of u. i'm 24 and married for 3 years.

i just had miscarriage last week, 5 nov. I was pregnant at 22 weeks when my waterbag suddenly burst. It is shocking for me and the whole family as all along i only experience light cramping which i thot was due to the 'strectching'.

All together, i had 4 miscarriages already since my 3 years of marriage. the first was molar pregnancy where there is only 'lifeless' growth in my womb. I had D&amp;C to remove it. The next two pregnancy, i miscarried at 16 weeks both due to cervical incompetence. upon knowing of my complication, my gynae decide to stitch up my cervix in my next pregnancy.

That is when me and my family was very confident that my next pregnancy will be successful as gynae had diagnosed the problem and at 12 weeks of pregnancy(Aug 09), i went for the operation called 'MacDonald Stitch'. Everything went well after the stitch and during my routine checkup and blood test i was doing well.

When the waterbag burst, i rushed to the hospital. my gynae examined me closely and said that my baby's heartbeat is very low. even if he were to do caesarean, baby can only survived for 1-2hrs as my waterbag has already dried up. At that point, i remained calm but only God knows that my heart has already shattered. My husband immediately broke down into tears but he managed to pull through as he was giving me support throughout. We decide that we will wait for the baby to be delivered naturally. Meanwhile, the complcation did not end there. Before the baby could be delivered, the doctor has to remove the stitch that i had on my cervix.

It was a very panicky situation as the sticth could not be removed. Baby's leg and cord was already sticking out thus blocking the stitch. My gynae tried his very best to remove it with support from my hubby and midwife as they tried to calm me down. It was very, very painful...... after a few unsuccessful tries, i was wheeled into the OT for an emergency op to remove the sticth. my gynae told me before the operation that he will only remove the stitch while i was under GA. he will let the baby deliver on its own. After the op, we waited for about 4hrs for the baby to be delivered folled by the placenta. during the 4hrs wait, i had contractions as the baby was crowning bit by bit. After the baby was delivered, my gynae examined the body and found out that the umbilical cord was twisted badly upon reaching its belly. other than that, the baby was perfectly fine with no physical abnormalities/defects. I was devastated as previously it was due to my cervix that is not strong enough to hold the baby but now my cervix was fine, said my gynae it was not dilated. We had proper burial for the baby.

I take it as God love the baby and take him to be 'Angel Baby'. I'm still depressed at times.

I hope in this thread we could support one another and overcome our misery. Glad i could pour out my thoughts/feelings in this thread.
 
Baby Swee-ty

Hugs to you. I couldn't stop crying reading your post. I know exactly what you been through. I lost my girl at 22 wks too. Similar to you I had the cerclage surgery at wk 12.

Pls take good care of yourself and Bu well.
 
Apologies.. I should said I know exactly what you been through. Every mum pain is different. And I shouldn,t said that..

I just overwhelmed reading this ... IS my BAD day again.. though it's been 6 mths since that fateful day. :'(
 


Baby S,

I am so sorry you have to join us in this thread. I cannot imagine what you must have went through. The pain mutiply by 4 in a span of 3 years ... *hugs* Plus complication with the stitch... Emotional pain is one thing... the physical pain tires you out as well!

I would think this is purely accidental in regards to the umblical cord. That is always tricky. I remember when I was told my twins have a likelihood of sharing a single sac. The cord entanglement risk is almost 80% which I was just shaken.

we mourn our angels today and they live with us in our heart no matter how long it been. 10 weeks have passed and I still think about my twins every single day. I dont know if I will for one day not think about them in future but I cherish the memories when I was pregnant with them.

Do take this time to calm down and remember we will surely see light at the end of the tunnel one day. Meanwhile we will hold each other hands in this darkeness and look for that light.
 
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