Support group - Miscarriages

hi ladies, Taking of royal jelly is good for the women.. It can increase fertility and promotes healthy skin.. Overall, its safe for TTC and pregnant women..

As for EPO, that i din know what is the benefits like.. Should be safe hor..


Hi Lyn, steam or hot bath are not recommended for TTC and pregnant women.. It can decrease pregnancy rate and if the women is pregnant and she went for those hot baths, it may cause m/c..
 


thanks beary for ur info.. okie, now I know that EPO is no good.. I took them be4 last time abt a few yrs ago but later stopped taking them after i switch to taking royal jelly..
 
Hi, just got back frm conf. Able to chat now.
I have talked to him several times, cried to him several times even went on my knees and tried my best to rationalise things with him. He always always hugs me and reaffirms that it will not happen again but he never keeps his words.
My husband is 12 years older than me. I used to tell myself that it is bcos of the age gap we have differences and tried on several occasions to brush it aside. He never lets me dressup, look nice, but he is very particular abt the way he looks. There are instances when my husband actually talks about other women he came across his day. Abt wat they wear, notices, that they are wearing G-string, going braless and extra but never never has he mentioned anything abt my dressing. Only says that I shld wear what I am comfortable in and then when I dress abit sexy or look trendy he calls me names like call girl, ah-lian and others. I cant take it, you dont look at me but can look at others. There are occasions when even his friends say I look good but he has never complimented me never never ever since we got married. Cos, very next mth of marriage I found out I am pregnant and did not have chance to go out or dressup. All during pregnancy he did not bring me out anywhere. There are sooooo many things, like he did not even shed a tear when I m/c. Not accompanying me to the doc is one thing but not feeling sad abt m/c is another. Only thing he said was dont cry. He did not even get me any tonic food to eat. He treats me sooooo differently.
 
I am sorry for writing such a long message but need to pour out more..... pls bear with me and advise.
My husband as a habit, which I had notice during the time I've known him before we got together is he always looks at his nieces and nephews medical prescriptions but he has never taken a look at mine or my son's. When asked why he did not look at it, he'll say aiyah same pills what.
Why the differences?
We had problem conceiving 2nd baby, he conviniently pushed the blame on me but when tests were done on him and found it was a male contributing infertility factor. He refused to take any action on it. When we further discussed abt having 2nd kid, he said he will not take any med but insisted tat i shld take clomid instead. He always pushes the blame on me and plays innocent.
No one will believe that he is such a person bcos he treats everyone well except me. I dont know how long I can take it.
I am being to hate him and only am staying with him cos I pity him. He has contributed so much to his family and everyone took him for granted. i wanted to treat him well, but look what he is doing to me. Even my own sis, asked me why I have changed so much after marriage she said she does not even recognise me.
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hi yasmin,

im new here..but after reading ur post..i guess..ur hub trying to hide behind his "so called technical fault". Have you tried talking to him reagrding ur feelings?
 
Hello Gals,
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I feel very happy today! Never felt so happy for a long long time.
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Maybe becoz it's Friday!

Lyn, going back to see yr family? I have not heard of the soya thingy but I think as long as we take things in moderation, dun hv to worry so much.

Starlite, can PM me the info? Thks

Gals, I hv a question. I hv been monitoring my temp & it's consistent, which means I hv not ovulate right? But I hv this stretchy eggwhite discharge which suggests I am ovulating. Which is which? A bit confused
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By the way, I heard jogging not too good for women planning to hv kids. Gosh ...
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I conceived only after I stopped jogging for a couple of weeks. Wonder if it will really affect...
 
Yasmin, **HUGZ ** so sad when I read yr post. But I have tis feeling that yr hubby is a rather reserved person, no? Some men express more concerned twd their friends than twd their own wife/ family. But I don't think they don't care. My hubby is one of such men. Could it be yr hubby does not know how to express his concern twds u because u are the closest person to him, he may just be too comfortable with u ...maybe to an extent that he forgot u need him to show it, instead of keeping it inside his heart?

Regarding the fertility issue, could it be his pride that is making him behave in this manner? Men hates to admit it's "their" problem. When I told my hubby maybe it's the sperm no good that causes the m/c, he gets very very defensive.

It could also be stress at work that make him a little aloof at home so that he can rest his mind. When mine is stressed at work, he does not let me know but he will snapped at me or ignore me when I talk to him.

Anyway, why not try asking him 1st if there is anything bothering him at work, then slowly tell him u r upset coz u dun feel his concern anymore.

Dun be disheartened. Talk to him, okie?

By the way, my hubby will also comment about other women, how beautiful or how big their boobs are...& usually I will join him & discuss whether it's real or not
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Hi, I really want this marriage to work and have tried my best several times to talk to him but he will not keep up his word. He used to say that I have a very bad temper and yes I had but I have learnt to control it and thats my way of showing him that I am trying to make things work. But he ???? U know at times when he is talking to his sis or friends, he cld even forget my name and will stammer to them, whose that whose that, hor my wife blah blah blah. In the beginning he used to forget what I had prepared for dinner, cos his KPO sis will always call and check if he had his dinner (in the beginning of our marriage). I used to brush it off thinking he was not focused during e conversation but then realised that he was that way when asked anything concerning me. Can you imagine can stammer even my name.
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U know during 1st day of KL trip, we changed RM and went to JB to eat lunch first b4 going KL. He walked out of the shop to guard his friend's car and forgot to even pay the $. His friend came to me and asked me to pay $, I said that hubby is holding on to cash and I dont have so went out of shop but the cashier thought I am leaving without paying. It was so embarrasing...I did not say anything at that point of time thinking that hubby had other things in mind but then so many other things happended that made me think of this thing. I did talk to him abt me not enjoying trip cos of the way he was treating me he always apologises to just shut me up and still behaves in that manner. AHHHHHHH I feel so exhausted. I have thoughts of ending my life.
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Yasmin,
Hugs... Dun be so upset ok? Stay cool and think of ways to solve the problem ok?
How come he dun let you dress-up? Or is it when you dressed up, he did not compliment? I feel that guys will be very happy when their friends comment that their wife is beautiful le. They will be happy inside if they did not show it. If I were you, even if my hubby call me name, I will still dress up
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I started to have some dress sense when something happened
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, also last year. And I realised the importance of dressing up even it means going out with hubby. I even read some buddhist scriptures and wrote it down in my website.
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My hubby also never cry when I m/c le... I think it's guys hiding their feelings from their wife... I realised it cos I saw my hubby's sms to his buddy...
Regarding your hubby not looking at the prescriptions, next time just show it to him? Does he also take care of the kid? I read somewhere that guys must also take care of the kid, so that they will be involved in the family and not go out find other woman. There's a study done on that in Britain.
I also used to feel that my hubby also "never" try to take care of his health. Sometimes, I was mad at him too. I dunno is it man not knowing what to do, or it's me not realising what he has been doing or I worry too much. Then what I did was, go and find out what supplements he can take, and go and buy for him. Every morning, I will prepare the "pills" for him... But I dunno if I can continue tat if I am working...
Is he the eldest son that he feel responsible to contribute to his family? Maybe he has some "ku zhong" that you do not know?
I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with your hubby. Dun directly says whatever he is doing is wrong. Say you are not happy about that, but never say it's wrong.
 
Oh droopy...
You will be ovulating soon! The temperature will only show ovulation after you have already ovulated, so not a very good method to find out ovulation timing. You might be ovulating these few days since you got EWCM. Good luck, gal!

geez... I just chat with a friend on the phone for almost 2 hours!

K, I am going to shower and then to bed soon... Still waiting for hubby to come home.. Now home alone
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Nite nite gals...
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Yasmin,
Hugs hugs...
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Are you in depression? How long have you got this thoughts? If you have been upset for more than 2 weeks, I think you will need to seek help. Last time, I also wanna end my life to solve my sorrows and problems. But I realise it's not worth it. I did seek help after a month. Then I read a lot of buddhist scriptures and sufferings downloaded from a website to help myself. It gave me some peace and calmness and direction. I even went for seminars on depression after my miscarriage. I was in depression again after the miscarriage. There are still other things to live for in life... You have a lovely kid who needs a mother to shower your love...

I used to think that I am the one who is always finding out about men and my husband just did not find out about women. I was frustrated... But I keep reading about how to save my marriage and put a lot of efforts in it. I read about the difference between men and women. After some time it works... During the time when I was super down with problems in my marriage (I had a stable relationship which many friends envy although it was put to a test of a long distance one for more than 3 years. Things happened and it was a blow to me.), I found an useful website: www.marriagebuilders.com. I sent the site to my husband to ask him to read. I dunno if he does read though. I find it a very good website. Maybe you can have a look...
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Things can be worked out. But time will be needed. Remain calm and you will be able to think properly. Avoid making decisions when you are frustrated or angry or depressed. Meanwhile, try to think on the positive side... Try to think about the things that he had done that made you happy.
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Think of the happy times that you were togather.
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This particular article is about "communication": http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5056_qa.html. I really hope it will help you.

May God bless you, Yasmin... Hugs... You can PM me if you want...
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hi yasmin, I'm so sorry to hear that U're having a rough patch with ur hubby..

Pls do never never have thoughts of ending ur life.. Remember that there are lots of people around U who cares for U and love U lots lots.. Like ur parents and little kid who needs U a lot..


I do agree with what Lyn had said.. Maybe can go for counselling and seek expert advise.. I believe there will be a way out for u.. Remain calm and think in a positive happy side...
 
<font color="119911">Yasmin</font>,
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please dont think so negatively.
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What u mentioned sounds familiar. I had a friend whose hubby also treated friends much better than the wife.
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Though this is not very good, but according to my friend, it is due to the fact that her hubby felt that wife is the closest to him, and thus "no need special treatment!"
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She did talk to the hubby abt this, but after a few days of care, hubby will revert back to old ways.....

It can be very depressing as the wife feels that hubby is taking her for granted!
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So what my friend did is communicating and communicating. Once in a while, she will "remind" hubby tat she also need his care and concern!
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It does work for her!

And dear <font color="119911">Yasmin</font>, try not to think abt giving up ur life!
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I noe i am also guilty of that thoughts too, but i remind myself that i will be allowing my love ones to grief for me if i really end my life!
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Remember, it is always those who are alive that suffers most when love ones is away! You still have ur lovely boy boy who need ur love!!
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Morning Ladies!

Went swimming again, very sleepy now
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Envy u hv a pool near you, Lyn. I gotta go public pool &amp; sometimes the toilet is ...
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But tis morning, I have the pool all to myself
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shioook!

Really? I ovulating ah
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I actually dun intend to TTC tis month but very tempted to try leh.
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Yasmin, r u feeling better?? Do talk to us, vent your frustrations here if u want. But do also give yr hubby a chance to explain too, okie?
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hi droopy eyes, if U are ovulating these few days, and U are prepared, can try for a baby this mth.. But dun put any pressure on urself hor..


All the best to U..
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Thks Hamasaki, I dunno if it will be too soon. My gynae gave the green light but my mum said better wait till I am physically stronger. The thing is I dun feel weak leh
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Either my mum is too kanjiong or my gynae too assured.

Nevertheless, I'll just let nature takes its course, I m feeling less tense now (Thks to swimming) &amp; looking fwd to shop shop shop in Bangkok next month!
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great to hear that Droopy that U are feeling well and strong now..

Yes, never put any stress and pressure on urself.. Just enjoy urself now and have a great time next mth holidaying at Bangkok..
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Hi droopy,
Wah... so shiok le... But I think the public pool is good enough already cos entrance is quite cheap also.
Hey, just take it easy as and when you wanna try
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. hehe... good luck to you
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If your gynae says ok, and you feel well, then should be ok la... This month it's no hope for me already cos I dun have EWCM, and my temp chart did not increase much...
Wow... so nice, can go to Bangkok for shopping. I am still thinking where I wanna go next month...

aiyo... next week I gotta work hard in excercising already... Ate too much over the weekends...

Ok.. nite nite.. chat again tomolo morning
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Good Morning, Thanks all for the support.
Yes, managed to resolve the grivence we had. He has promised to be 'better' towards me. We will see.... over the weekend we decided to move in with my parents because of some major renovation that had to be done. The packing and moving brought about the communication between us. Hopefully, things will be better for the both of us, and hope to start fresh from the new 'home'.
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Good morning gals!
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Hope you gals will have a great week ahead
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Hi Yasmin,
Glad to hear that you have managed to resolve the problems with your hubby.
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Good morning gals!
It's Monday, trying 2 get away from Monday blues!

Yasmin,
It's great 2 hear u hv patched up.
If that form of communication works for you, use it should the next time happen again (*touch wood*). All the best 2 u...
 
<font color="0077aa">Gd day gals,</font>
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Hope u njoyed your weekend. Mine was a tiring one but I njoyed myself very much. My gal's school organised a 'Games Day' on last Sat &amp; my HB &amp; I brought her there,
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together with lots of her classmates, Sunday school children &amp; church members. I find that it was a very interesting event - to enhance family bonding. Everyone njoyed a lot. We played games,ran &amp; perspired a lot.
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<font color="119911">Yasmin,</font>
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Happy to hear that the problems are resolved. But pls remember, do not 'end your life' when u encounter problems. This is not the solution ok....if need be, both of u can go seek a marriage counsellor or attending marriage workshops. Plan more family outing ...juz your HB, your child &amp; u.
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Take care!

<font color="ff0000">Hi Bluebells,</font>
Hv u seen a doc by now? Haiz....now my turn to kana sore throat again!! Yesterday ate 2 bars of chocolate but I drank bartley water leh. Today sore throat already!! Time to take out all my 'watermelon powder' &amp; bactidol to gargle again.
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Bluebells,
Shoo shoo... Monday blues go away... hehe...
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Hi qwer,
Wow.. Looks like you had a great weekend as a family
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I had an eat eat and eat weekend... Ate too much already
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. Saturday afternoon ate claypot rice, then evening ate "che char". Then Sunday lunch ate bak kut teh, and dinner 8 course dinner at Hu Cui...
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Ate so much last nite and feel like puking the whole nite
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Never ate so much ever since my miscarriage... Today must jia you to shed off those extra calories already...
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Today weather very hot hor?
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<font color="aa00aa">Hi Lyn,</font>
Ya today is rather hot! Normally I wear sweater in my office but today no need leh.....keke.... Wah u really ate a lot. Drink some warm green tea....hee...hee... In fact I also love to eat. Yum yum!!
 
hi yasmin,
I hope you feel better today. Ending your life is really not the solution. When I get really depress, sometimes I also feel like ending it all. Then one night I had a dream, my soul was wandering in the netherworld and I felt so lonely and I was looking at my hubby from afar. Its better to walk with God in the darkness than walk in the light alone.

Hey gals,
I went for spa in batam over the weekends. really cheap man! $100 for 3 hours. Javanese scrub, massage, foot reflex and milk bath. Shiok! When the lady said "finish", I was like "huh? so fast?" When you are at work, 3 hrs is like so damn long.
 
Hello Java,

Wow... Spa in Batam. nice nice... I have never been there. Are there anything interesting to see there?

Great that you have enjoyed your weekend... Your AF arrive already?
 
qwer,
Yalor... so guilty with all the calories... some more never eat much vegetables. Yesterday's diet was mainly meat and meat and meat...
Last nite also quite hot. This morning, when I opened the windows, wow... it's hot air... not cool breeze le...

kekeke.. I refilled my pringles again while food shopping in JB... hahaha...
 
<font color="119911">Wah Lyn,</font>
U eat so much chips &amp; stuffs won't hv sore throat ah? Any tips or not?? I ate a bit will hv sore throat. Sigh....actually chips &amp; crackers are my favourite but I've to eat moderately.
 
Hi gals, hope everyone had a great weekend

Yasmin, hope you are feeling better now. Come in and vent your frustration.. don think about ending life... it's not a solution to the problems. BIG HUGS!

Java, so shiok! It's been a long while since I went to a spa. Recently, I did mostly back massages only.. think need to go do a major ovehaul soon
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.. mebbe b4 I go back to work

I went for a concert on Sat.. thoroughly enjoyed myself.. although I was very sleepy towards the end.
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Good luck to all TTC-ians!!

folic
 
qwer... hahaha... I drink a lot of water one... First thing in the morning when I wake up, I will also drink a cup of water. I find that helps a lot in preventing sore-throat. Cos sometimes if I woke up with sore throat, after I drink a cup of water first thing in the morning, the sore throat will go away
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. Last nite, before I went to bed, I had sorethroat, then I drank a cup of water before tucking in, and a cup first thing in the morning, now no more sore throat already
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Sometimes, if I have sore throat I will pop in 1000mg time released Vit C and Ecchinacea to boost my immune system...
 
hi qwer,
yah.. saw doc on fri evening.
Totally drugged out by the flu medicine.
Sore throat terrible one hor.. i wake up can feel my throat stinging!

lyn, i also ate lots on sat.
Had 2 times tim sum on Sat. Can't believe!
cos the 1st restaurant we went 2, not really nice. Not satisfied, so we proceed on to another restaurant for tim sum. Yummy!
And guess wat.. yest news say cannot eat 2 much tim sum cos oily and no good 4 health.
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nvm, eat liao.. bochap!

qwer,
lyn's tips for eating so much chips and not get sore throat is becos she eats one whole watermelon, and her cool grapes. rite lyn?!
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bluebells...
hahahaha.... No la... no more one whole watermelon already
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I scared too "liang" to get preggie le...
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Oh, yesterday I had only a slice of watermelon.
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I think the grapes sometimes can cause sorethroat... But I dunno is it certain types of grapes... But grapes have lots of Vitamin C
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Wow... tim sum twice on Sat! I dun eat a lot of tim sum already cos everytime after eating I will feel nausea...
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Too much meat and too much deep fried... I also find tim sum too oily (steam ones also got quite a bit of oil, if you notice) and I cannot take too much oily food cos I will get diarrhoea after that...

Hope you are feeling better.. and get well soon
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Drink lots and lots of water...
 
wow lyn,
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Seems like U have a great food feast last 2 days ago.. All the food that U mentioned, make me drool.. (hehehehhehe) me greedy pig)..
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qwer, glad U had a wonderful sat afternoon playing and bonding with ur little girl.. Had a great family outing and fun..
 
By the way, my temperature dropped this morning... So AF coming already... I dun feel that sad anymore... kinda accept fate.
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Will wait for the 6th cycle to work hard again...
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i wunder where the rest of the gals are.. like sunny, fondue, beautiful, confused...etc.

And is everything okie 4 them?

At least i noe the rest of us here r okie..
 
hi Lyn, hehehheh me just woke up.. Had a fever yesterday and couldnt sleep well last nite.. was tossing ard on bed till this morning.. so sian..
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aiyo... hamasaki...
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So your fever goes down already? The weather is very hot lately, remember to drink a lot of water...

yalor... dunno where are the rest of the gals... the new mommies also seldom come in already...
 
hamasaki,
take care.
nowadays the weather so hot...In and out of aircon room sure kanna flu.
Take ur medicine and rest well.

i'm waiting for 6pm to come.. then can go home. Dun feel like working, just want to end the day and go home.
 
hi gals
i am here.
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doing fine and ttc as per normal. kekeke.... just like lyn, i leave the successful rate to fate so that i won't feel so stressful.
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jia you gals!
 
hi Lyn, *pat pat*
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.. I will Jia you for U to strike baby jack-pot the next cycle..
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hi blue, I guess the rest are either busy cos today Monday or might be enjoying their lunch.. We will hear from them soon..
 
hi hama
drink more water. i just recover from my flu. now i got cough + bad sore throat. and my voice is nearly gone. hahaha....
 
lyn,
i guess the new mommies r 2 tied-down with their little bundles 2 come &amp; chat wif us.

lyn,
so how's ur work coming along?
finishing on schedule?
 
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Thanks dear Lyn, sunny and bluebells for ur concern.. will heed both ur advice to drink more water..


Halow sunny, U're here..
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sunny...hello!
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u 'shi sheng' ah... i also like that last wk.
Gotto drink more h20, avoid talking if pos, suck lozenges and drink starfruit juice with salt.
 
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