Support group - Miscarriages

confusedgal · Mar 26, 2005

Droopy eyes - ya! u got to eat those bu food for abt 2-3 weeks. Aiyo! i know very sian3 to eat those. hee! when i'm having min confinement, i cant tahan, i secretly have a sip of cold drink. so siok

Dont worry, i was told that after all this, it easier to get pregnant again and very fast pregnant liao (abt 3-4 mths) Dont know true or not leh.

hamasaki · Mar 26, 2005

hi confused, oh gosh to hear that things are quite bad between U and ur MIL & SIL...

Izzit they dun like U from the very start U got married to ur hubby... How come they chase U guys out of the house for such matters.... All are family members and shouldn't treat u and hubby in such manners...

Really mean leh( pai seh for using such words)...

I'm sure U and yr hubby are really so hurt by them...

folic · Mar 26, 2005

Hi miao2,

GD is indeed very common but nothing to worry about. As long as you control your diet, you should be fine. Even if you need to use insulin, that is also ok.. cos GD means that the growing baby is preventing your body from producing insulin to digest the sugars.

GD also doesnt means that you have to go on a 'diet'. It just means spacing out your meals, taking small meals throughout the day. The most obvious types of food to avoid are of course those that are high in sugar contents eg soft drinks, cakes, ice creams etc. You also have to watch the amount of carbo intake, as that will turn into sugars after digestion. But even then, I was able to eat normal portions eg 2 slices of bread, 1 bowl of rice etc at each meal. Your dietitian should be able to tell you more details on what to eat. I will try to hunt for those info that I had previously and send to you if I can find it

folic

miao2 · Mar 26, 2005

folic,
Thank you so much!!

miao2

folic · Mar 26, 2005

Miao2,

jus sent you the info. Let me know if you get the mail.

folic

oceans · Mar 27, 2005

Droopy Eyes mei mei, good gal hor!

Dont always think of goin work lah!! Cannot sleep then just rest lor!! Not bad, still can remember those TV program!! Good training for ur brain though....stimulate ur memories...

I guess no matter what, we will still think back what had happened...

I remembered myself thinking tat i was strong again, but when i started to talk abt the loss... i just cried again!

Sometimes, i can jus cried for no reason....So i jus popped by here and poured my sorrow here and everyone is so nice to me!

Jia you, ok!

Noti Confused, how can u drink cold water when during mini-confinement?

Still dare to say it out loud!!!

But hor, it's tiring to follow hor.... i hor, also got secretly take hot shower in between those herbal bath too....

And Confused, dun say sorry to us!

Will be angry leh!!

I meant we r all here to support each other.

So jus pour out ur sorrow here! The relationship b/w ur IL's sound bad!

I hope u r not staying with them though.... And if they really laugh at u behind ur back

calling u names, it really reflected how badly on their characters!!!

Ur SIL is not working???

Maybe she is too free liao.....

Oh, i also got hear tat we r very fertile after M/C too. For me, quite true, cos i got preggie after my 1st AF.

At tat time, we r jus test water

only, and was surprised tat really hit jackpot!!

But after that, we were scared tat it was too fast... graduadlly, i faced lots of problems but glad that at least now i can hold my gal in my arms!

Mao, when r u going back for check-up again? Hope tat everything is alright and that u dun hv to ctl ur diet!

droopy_eyes · Mar 27, 2005

Confused, how can they chase u out of yr own house. That's so unreasonable of them!

Dun be upset, we are here

Yah, I understand, I get irritated easily and will scold my hubby over very mundane stuff now, then after that, I cry again.

Haiz...where got so easy to get over the little one...
A friend of mine suggested I go to a Chinese sinseh, anyone here tried? She says the sinseh can tell which part of yr body is weak just by looking at yr tougue.

hamasaki · Mar 27, 2005

hi Ocean, its that true that after M/C, we are very fertile... Me never heard that be4... Even my gynae only told me that I can try again after 3 mths or so...

odie · Mar 27, 2005

Hi Confused... sorry to hear about your lost. Take care of yourself and yes usually after a miscarriage the menstruation cycle will go haywire. I have also read somewhere before that after a miscarriage, one will be more fertile (same as after giving birth) but whatever it is the most important thing is to heal (both physically and emotionally) before trying again. Usually the more anxious you are the longer the wait. Best is to let nature take its course and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Hi Droopy Eyes. I hope you are feeling better. If you are really bored... maybe you can get your hubby to take some time off and bring you out for a walk. Take it from the rest of us who are working our butts off... you must try and rest more while you can

Hey Miao... Yup I think GD is pretty common. I had a friend who had GD, heart burn, low placenta and all sorts of nonsense when she was preggie. It will go away after delivery... hang in there... I'm sure its worth it

miao2 · Mar 27, 2005

hi folic,
Yes. I've received it. Thank you so much..

Ocean/ Odie,
Yup.. indeed quite worried initially. Having read and heard some experiences of the ladies here. I believed just have to watch out my daily food intake, think should be alright lor. Anyway, if really GD hor. Will be seeing the dietician soon lor...

missy_lee · Mar 27, 2005

hi droppy eyes, i'm curerently seeing a sinseh & am taking herbs. although i'm a nurse myself, i actually believe in chinese medicine more. i've been ttc for 15 mths after my loss & i felt the need to bu my body coz of the long period i've been ttc. i didn't take any 'bu ping' straight after my miscarriage & my cycles went haywire for quite a while. my cycles only straightened out recently.

droopy_eyes · Mar 27, 2005

Hi there Odie, I m feeling alright. & heeding Ocean Jie Jie & yr advice to rest rest rest...u r right, once I start work, will have to work my butts off...

Actually hor, I think I same age as u, Ocean jie jie...year of the rabbit right?

Missy, will the sinseh tell u specifically which part of yr body is weak or he gives u general
woman stuff to "pu" ? I also believe in chinese herbs and medicine. Not to know the cause of the m/c, just thought I can know which part is weak. My hubby told me not to waste time. Oh well, I will just go with a galfriend if he doesn't want to go with me

My discharge stopped. Yippee!!

hamasaki · Mar 27, 2005

good good to hear that droppy eyes that ur discharge have stopped...

but must continue to take care hor..

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for the kind words.

Confused gal, take care. It takes all kind of pple to make this world. Be strong. Remember, whats impt is your relationship with your husband. Everything else is secondary.

I hope he is ok. Take care of him as now he will be very emotionally torn. Remember to take care of yourself and do not bottle up any -ve feelings, feel free to pour it out to us. We are all ears for you. God Bless U and your family!

nyny · Mar 28, 2005

hi droopy eyes
you can buy bazhen from any of the chinese medical hall.
after you bot it, you can boil it from 3 bowls of water to 1 bowl. and 2nd time boil from 2bowls of water to 1 bowl.

droopy_eyes · Mar 28, 2005

Good Morning gals

mmmm...

I m having another round of those mood swings again .The most difficult part of the day is the period when I just woke up.Kept recalling the day me n hubby shopped for bb's pram. Haiz...I know I should not think & think but a part of me dun wanna forget.
I'll be fine

Just another mood swing, that's all

droopy_eyes · Mar 28, 2005

Good Morning galsmmmm...I m having another round of those mood swings again .The most difficult part of the day is the period when I just woke up.Kept recalling the day me n hubby shopped for bb's pram. Haiz...I know I should not think & think but a part of me dun wanna forget.
I'll be fine Just another mood swing, that's all

droopy_eyes · Mar 28, 2005

Oui?

something wrong with my postin...see...like I say, the most difficult part is morning, post msg also like that.

Thk u sunny! my friend just bot me Bazhen essence last weekend...I'll try that out.

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi Droopy Eyes, I know it is difficult to forget all those fond memories. But, personally, dont forget them, try to cope with the loss but dont forget the memories. We only have these memories to live with...even when we have other kids, we shld not forget the ones that we've lost. I hope I make sense. Take care!
BTW, cooking helped me to ease my mind off alot of things, maybe u cld try too! Its fun!

chime68 · Mar 28, 2005

Dear All,

Good day to u!! How's everybody doing today? So many postings I couldn't catch up!!

Droopy Eyes & Confused,
I can fully understand how u all feel, it really takes quite some time to heal emotionally. What I believe is - u have to 'open up' your feelings...juz say it out like what you're doing now. You'll feel better.... Time flies, I had my m/c 5 mths ago, still learning to think of a brighter side. Do continue to voice out your feelings here. We're here to support each other emotionally!! Take care!

Btw, I was seeing chinese physician too. I personally believe in chinese medicine....it'll help to 'tune' our body back & 'warm' the womb.

Dear All,
Last nite I carried my baby nephew (2 mths old) in my arms....aiyoh....that kind of feeling dunno how to describe.....really wish that baby is my own one u know.....

Hamasaki,
I also haven't heard that after m/c we'll be more fertile leh....cos I still dun have any good news...

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

hello n morning gals

hamasaki, ocean n yasmine - i oso very surprised. (i only come to know abt them not treating m as their family member n chase us out n call me nick name n oso calling her own brother xiao3 bai2 lian3) i couldnt sleep for few days cos it really hurting to those remarks

To be frank, a lot of people oso cant stand the SIL. (attitude problem) and PIL very sayang her. (always side her) My hubby n I has been avoiding them after wedding. (we would go back very late at nite no matter how tired we are, we tong3 till after 10.30pm then go home.(when i m pregnat no matter how tired i am i oso go out till very late)

The hse belong to my husband n she so daring saying the hse belong to her father.

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

gals - thanks for the support.

ocean - Hee! yalor cant tahan leh so have a sip n i oso beg my mum to let me bathe.

oic. no wonder my sis friend become pregnant after a few mths. btw, wat is M/C ah?

starlite · Mar 28, 2005

Hi gals,

Hope some of you do remember me.

I went for my d&c in Dec 04 and another op in Jan 05 as there was great pain in my abdominal and the scan result shows theres a mass in my right pelvis. This turns out to be a swollen right ovary when the doc did the laproscopy op.

My menses came last Thurs. this was my 2nd menses after the d&c. As compared to the last menses, I dont experience that much pain this time round and I went to see my gynae on sat.

My gynae has suspected that its endometriosis at the back of my womb. Cos whenever he checked me physically, I always felt pain at a particular spot. He said that this could be one of the contributing factor for my last miscarriage and advised me to go for an op to clear it.

I told my gynae that physically and psychologically, I m not ready cos I only did my d&c in dec and another op in jan and now another one again! Though he said its a day surgery and no need hospitalization, Im still worried and scared cos I have gone thru so far 3 ops in total and its really dreadful.

If anyone of you have previous experiences like this, appreciate if you can share. I welcome all advices.

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi confused,
Sorry to prey into your personal affairs, but is the hse a HDB flat and is your husband the 1st owner and yourself the 2nd? If yes, then you shld tell them off and set them right. Dont worry that they will caste you aside, anyway you are all family still and being family we can voice out our opinions mah?
Something similar happened to me 4 yrs back. My sil bein a divorcee and have 3 kids wanted my husband and me to pay for the house while we stayed in a smaller rental pl. where got fair? So I protested, but said in a subtle way, not so rich leh. She also mentioned that she will not go to wrk (cos did not wrk ever since she and husband split up, my husband supported her) as she needs to take care of her kids 18, 17 and 12. Also got guts to say, if I got kids then my baby sleep with the dogs(they got 2 dogs). I very angry leh. But, now they have moved off and she is working now. Now their dogs sleep with her kids, kekekeke irony isnt it?

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Confused, m/c means miscarriage.

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

yasmin - my husband paying $130k++ n his father put his name as 2nd owner and the father paying only $36k and mum as 3rd owener (not paying anything) n the SIL realyy yaya(proud) leh, chasing us out n keep saying the hse belongs to his father. I juz call hdb n they say can only sell the hse after 5-7 yrs

i did voice out in the end kana chase out by SIL (PIL oso there n they keep quiet n let their daughter say whatever she wants)

Wah! your SIL really bad leh. how can she say tis. Yah! now her retribution liao - kids sleeping with the dog. Wow! your hubby really nice leh cos support them.

oceans · Mar 28, 2005

No no..

Droopy Eyes, Once u start work, just work smart and responsibily!!

Not work ur butt off lah!!

Ahh.... how u noe we same age huh???

Kekkee.... u r right leh!

Well, Droopy Eyes, no, dont try to forget, cos u will never forget!

As times past, the memories just bury deeper into ur heart! Even now, i still think back at times..... But I learnt to treasure life more though..... Jia You!!

Hamasaki and Qwer, the first time i heard abt after M/C being moe fertile was in the ward after my D&C. There was this lady also just had the same ops. She told me she had D&C b4 and subsequently, very fast she was preggie again! After that, i heard frm someone too.... cant remember who..

And well, true enough and maybe lucky for me... i got preggie subsequently after my 1st AF.

Confused, i really felt sad for u!

Some pple really not automatic one!!

Even if say ur FIL really pay alot, the HDB hse was not under ur SIL name, in the first place! Legally, she does not even hv the right to chase u all out, not to mention ur hubby pay more! But, if sell the hse, will ur hubby able to get more money???? Like HDB can chk that ur hubby pay more via CPF deduction???

Starlite, sorry,

cant advise u on that! Did ur gynae say whether can just take medication to cure it?

If not, maybe when u r feeling better, u shld consider going for ops as it does affect u!

Do take care hor!

nyny · Mar 28, 2005

hi gals
i am now actively start ttc. but at the same time, scare that the history happens.

also, ever after i found out i was pregnant, till now, during intercourse, i feel pain (not sharp) on my lower right side of my abdominal. the feeling is like something is loosing and shaking together with my body..... is that normal? i feel like going to see my GP and ask her to refer me for ultrasound scan. or should i go to my gynae and check with him? but gynae is more expensive.

missy_lee · Mar 28, 2005

droopy eyes, like what qwer said, chinese medicine helps to tune our body, strengthen our wombs thus creating an optimal environment for pregnancy. i just started taking chinese medicine last week, this morning when i woke up, i realised i'm spotting a bit, not sure if this is the result of the herbs trying to cleanse my womb. i still have 1 more packet of herbs to take. my hubby went to see the sinseh with me, she also gave him some chinese medicine to take coz my hubby's SA is borderline abnormal. hopefully we will have some gd news to share soon.

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi Confused,
Yes, my husband very nice, sometimes too nice. He at times does not stand up for his rights and let everyone run over him, and expects me to be like that too. He from big family, including himself 10 children and I frm 3. I always stand up for my right, been like that since young.

If you dont mind, why dont you check with HDB if you cld transfer the hse to the next in line. In that way, your husband's CPF contribution wld be back to him and the both of you cld get a flat of your own.
Hope my history will help......
When we got married, husband already have hse. And he was the 2nd owner my SIL was 1st. SIL only had abt 8-9K in her CPF when they purchased the flat. So, her CPF was wiped out and my husband contributed whatever he had. Not sure of the amt. So, when we ROM, transferred the flat to my name. They took it for guaranted that I shld start contributing but my husband was 1st and I was 2nd owner. My husband suggested to remove my SIL's name, but she stayed there with her kids. When the transfer was done, SIL's CPF was restored and mine wiped out. So, maybe you can check with HDB if you cld do transfer. I really dont know why SILs are a real pain the 'a--' at times.

Dont worry, there is always retribution. Believe in God. U know when I was angry and upset with my in-laws, i always prayed and said to my husband, there is God he will take care of them. Teach those who hurt me and made me cry. And sure enough, something will happen to teach those pple and put them in the right place.

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

ocean - aiyo! i 4gotten to post. wow! so happy for u that now u have a baby gal liao. How old is she? Hee! u really lucky leh, test water only then u pregnant liao

ya! they are really too much. i call HDB liao but i think got to stay in another 4-5 yrs cos they no $ so how to transfer (no $ yet so yaya n chase people out)so we got to ren3 lor *sob* *sob*
I was told pregnant woman cant flare their anger right? (not gd for the baby)?

Droopy eyes - i agree with the gals. dont think too much n start again. (althought its easier to say but i m sure we can do it. sometimes i do cry when i think of it.)

sunny - me too afraid that history happens again. But i was told that once u have M/C b4 the 2nd time pregnancy will be alright. i only feel pain will i using too much strength (walking or talking) u feel pain all the time? I dont feel pain during intercourse leh.

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi Sunny,
why not go through polyclinic? In that way, its alot more cheaper.

nyny · Mar 28, 2005

yasmin
polyclinic needs to wait very long right? hmmm.... and heard that if it's referral one, normally depends on luck like which gynae you are seeing, can be an experience one, can be very green one... don't know how true leh.

teletubby · Mar 28, 2005

hey gals,

sorrie, hvn't been posting for a while... cos my windows XP got corrupted... & oso me not feeling well... aii... long story... but finally, today i got my answers... was diagnosed as having a irritable uterus... was told it's quite common & wif regular medication, it's usually well controlled.... for past 2-3 weeks, my uterus has been contracting quite frequently... when i get up from bed, when i stand up from toilet bowl or sofa, or merely resting in bed or in the middle of the nite... the contractions can be quite strong dat i woke up from my sleep.... aiii... veri veri worried lor... if i dun ctrl it, may lead to premature labour...

was advised to hv lotsa rest, dun walk too much... Ocean, my path in pregnancy oso got quite a few problems... aii... pls pray dat i can carry my bb to term & deliver a healthy bb...

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

hi qwer, yah lor, me never heard be4... Doc only asked me to try after 3 mths or so... too early, he said cannot, cos body very very weak...

Qwer, I'm sure there be a day where U be carrying ur own little one.... Jia you...

hi confused, really so sad to hear that U had such in-laws and SIL who treat U and hubby so bad and mean... What they had done really hurt U guys... If I am in ur shoes, i will ask hubby to sell the home and ask them to buy their own...

Treat them nice, they treat U guys as dirt... So bad of them....

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

yasmine - thanks for sharing your story. ya! my hubby is juz like yours too nice and does not standup for his right. My SIL not working so no $ and still so yaya. I think her CPF is less than 10k cos in her life she work less than 1.1/2 yrs (she already 28yrs) No choice lor, got to ren3 during tis few yrs

i agree with u, they'll have retribution one day. i'll be like u pray to god.

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

thanks Ocean for ur info... For me, since doc asked me to try again after 3 mths or so, so I heeded his words... I also no mood to try again that soon and can feel that my body was really very very weak...

Sunny, maybe U can go to neighbouring clinic and asked the doc to check for U... if there is a need, can ask the doc to refer U to gov hospitals..

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

hamasaki - hubby want to sell but cant leh got to wait. yeah! they very mean hor! i still cant forget the whole incident (already very sad abt the loss n now another problem pop out)

When i stayed with them after married, my FIl bought breakfast for us (i didnt ask him to buy n he buy on his own will) he put coins inside the food and i refused to eat (i very silly, didnt eat the whole morning till evening)i dare not go downstairs to eat) when hubby approach MIl in the evening, they find excuse n hubby believe them (they say they didnt do it, maybe in the hurry so juz throw coins in the plastice bag)after that incident, i got gastic pain liao.

if i know this kind of family, i wont get married liao.

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

May God Bless Tubby and little one... Jia you and rest well gal...

miracle_bb · Mar 28, 2005

hi tubby,

Last time I had irritable uterus too. Yes, it can be controlled by the ventolin pills. Also if you feel the contractions, just bend over, the contractions should reduce. Anyway you are not working right? So should be able to have lots of bedrest at home.

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

hi confused, ai yoh yoh... never knew there are such people treating bad to their own family members...

What is the reason and logic in that... Does they feel so good treating their own people in such mean and bad manner....

Really so strange..

teletubby · Mar 28, 2005

hi hamasaki,
thks for ur prayers... everyday i will tell my lil' one to JIA YOU together wif me...

hey java,
thks for sharing... yup.. i was given the ventolin pills... it's supposed to be the safest & most effective drug to calm irritable uterus.. in a way, i'm glad dat i'm not working so dat i can hv ample rest now... trying not to walk unnecessary... & hubby oso finally stopped asking me to go for walks liao... haha.. good...

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

hi tubby, yeap must ask baby to jia you with U right up till the end... Never give up...

So sweet and can help to bond with ur child better once he is born...

nyny · Mar 28, 2005

thanks hamasaki
i made an appt with my gynae to see him tomorrow. hopefully everything is ok.

yas · Mar 28, 2005

Hi Tubby,
How many weeks are you into your preggie? Pls do not walk too much and rest well. Some of us are not gifted to have everything smooth during preggie but delivery will be a bliss. Thats what happened to me. My boy gave me sooooo much of worries during preggie and was 35 wks during delivery and weighed the size of 28 weeks baby. But on the day of delivery, everything smooth and from then on he very good lor. Stay positive mummy.

confusedgal · Mar 28, 2005

Hi qwer - oh! lets jia with the gals here together n i'm sure we'll have baby soon. (Last week saw my neighbour children palying, my tear start flowing down.)

tubby - oh! u must have plenty of rest and take care.

hamasaki · Mar 28, 2005

okie sunny... keep us update ...

droopy_eyes · Mar 28, 2005

Hello gals

Starlite, while it is traumatising to go through so much within such a short period of time, it may be good to listen to professional advice from your gynae to set everything right? No matter what yr decision is, do take care, yah?

Confused, so bad of yr in-laws

A bit "bian tai" right? But not good if u stay out late every night when u r tired. Go home, ignore them & lock yrself in the room ... then talk to us

As long as yr hubby is good to u, u both can stick together & ren till u sell the flat. Hang on yah

qwer & missy, thks, I will visit the sinseh next week

yes ... I hope good news will come soon for all of us

Tubby, do rest more. U n ur bb will be fine.

Sunny, why not go back to yr gynae who has yr records...better to spend some $$ to to put yr mind at ease fast loh, then u can relax when baby-dancing, no stress...higher chance also mah

Ocean, I guess from yr previous postings loh

I also thought I can be mummy b4 30...haiz

droopy_eyes · Mar 28, 2005

Oui? Sunny decide to c gynae already hah...my posting late

...anyway...keep us updated, gal

nyny · Mar 28, 2005

hi droopy eyes
ya loh. c him and c what he said loh. hope everything is ok.

will keep you gals posted.

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