Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
dwbhappy
Member
Hi Patsy. mine was about 4-6 weeks too...
pegsfur and girls, although my DnC was in April, i still feel sad now, when i m alone and think about or reminded about my lost son..(seeing other newborns and mothers, mums to be)... esp 3 weeks ago when it was supposed to be his EDD. i can;t help but think what it would be like to hold him, and I would probably on confinement and maternity now, and I would be so sad, and start to tear and cry..
I told my hubb about the EDD thing, but he din response very much, partly bcos he has been bz, and mayb also becos he probably dunno wat else to do with me. I would say... on the outside i look fine, but i know, on the inside i m not...
But hubb did say that everything happens for a reason... I believe so...
for now, I am looking forward to a healthy me, so that i can hv a healthy pregnancy and the result is a healthy baby, in the time soon to come!!
girls, pls be optimistic!! Do visualise it happenning, and after several rehearsals, the real performance will be ready to stage!
hugzz
pegsfur and girls, although my DnC was in April, i still feel sad now, when i m alone and think about or reminded about my lost son..(seeing other newborns and mothers, mums to be)... esp 3 weeks ago when it was supposed to be his EDD. i can;t help but think what it would be like to hold him, and I would probably on confinement and maternity now, and I would be so sad, and start to tear and cry..
I told my hubb about the EDD thing, but he din response very much, partly bcos he has been bz, and mayb also becos he probably dunno wat else to do with me. I would say... on the outside i look fine, but i know, on the inside i m not...
But hubb did say that everything happens for a reason... I believe so...
for now, I am looking forward to a healthy me, so that i can hv a healthy pregnancy and the result is a healthy baby, in the time soon to come!!
girls, pls be optimistic!! Do visualise it happenning, and after several rehearsals, the real performance will be ready to stage!
hugzz
hi kiwifruit, am better... was bad a few weeks ago specially coz it was Sabie's 2nd birthday but with God's grace, am much better emotinally now, jsut working on the physical wellbeing...
Irene, i totally udnerstand how you feel... specially when i see toddlers and think what my sabie would be doing already.... i dread CNY really, coz by then i should have 2 kids, but will be empty handed.. but like your hb says, things happen for a reason... i just have to keep my faith and trust that the Lord is by my side.
can't wait to TTC again...
be happy girls! Christmas is coming...
Irene, i totally udnerstand how you feel... specially when i see toddlers and think what my sabie would be doing already.... i dread CNY really, coz by then i should have 2 kids, but will be empty handed.. but like your hb says, things happen for a reason... i just have to keep my faith and trust that the Lord is by my side.
can't wait to TTC again...
be happy girls! Christmas is coming...
pegsfur
Active Member
Patsy,
Same here ... i dread CNY too. I was happily imagining what kind of maternity wear i shld buy for the CNY cos I wld be very heavily preggy by then (my edd is 18 mar). I wanted to show off my big tummy to visiting relatives.
Irene,
I guess that's the way guys choose to react. Maybe your hubby feels as much as you do, just that he wouldn't want to show it. Till now, my hubby still numbs himself by drinking. By the time he comes and fetch me, i cld already smell the heavy liquor smell. He's not drunk cos he could still talk & joke with me. But I also noticed his reddened/watery eyes.
Ladies, my gynae told me that once my menses come, it means that my body is reverting to normal and we may start to try to conceive again as long as we are ready mentally. Any of you start afer the 1st cyle?
Same here ... i dread CNY too. I was happily imagining what kind of maternity wear i shld buy for the CNY cos I wld be very heavily preggy by then (my edd is 18 mar). I wanted to show off my big tummy to visiting relatives.
Irene,
I guess that's the way guys choose to react. Maybe your hubby feels as much as you do, just that he wouldn't want to show it. Till now, my hubby still numbs himself by drinking. By the time he comes and fetch me, i cld already smell the heavy liquor smell. He's not drunk cos he could still talk & joke with me. But I also noticed his reddened/watery eyes.
Ladies, my gynae told me that once my menses come, it means that my body is reverting to normal and we may start to try to conceive again as long as we are ready mentally. Any of you start afer the 1st cyle?
Hi Patsy,
My first day of menses came on 29th day after the d&c,hope it helps. What does AF stands for?
Hi Pegsfur,
It depends on wat your gynae said,at first he told us to wait for 3cycles but one mth after the d&c,he checked and told us tat we can go ahead.
Hi ladies,
Just would like to check with u..were your menses much heavier after the d&c? Mine was..it was a shocker even til 4mths after! Even had a few mishaps.
And my skin broke out very bad..was very sad and went to see a dermatologist who said it could be hormonal imbalance..did u have the same situation?
My first day of menses came on 29th day after the d&c,hope it helps. What does AF stands for?
Hi Pegsfur,
It depends on wat your gynae said,at first he told us to wait for 3cycles but one mth after the d&c,he checked and told us tat we can go ahead.
Hi ladies,
Just would like to check with u..were your menses much heavier after the d&c? Mine was..it was a shocker even til 4mths after! Even had a few mishaps.
And my skin broke out very bad..was very sad and went to see a dermatologist who said it could be hormonal imbalance..did u have the same situation?
hi pegsfur,
i remember a few ladies tried after first AF and i thought one or two struck bingo. I tried on 4th AF as i wanted to be more healthy and mentally/emotionally better first.
I remember crying in the showerSSS too. It was the safest place and noone could hear. I still do that nowadays.
i remember a few ladies tried after first AF and i thought one or two struck bingo. I tried on 4th AF as i wanted to be more healthy and mentally/emotionally better first.
I remember crying in the showerSSS too. It was the safest place and noone could hear. I still do that nowadays.
dwbhappy
Member
Dear gals, of cos i hate CNY, i hv a caring old aunty that ask me every yr, when i m gg to hv a baby. I thought this yr i could surprise her. but well... I would be really sad to go visiting this yr, cos i could hv brought my baby with me, and i can imagine that would be so so fun!
Hi PJ, AF here is referred to menses, but i dunno what it stands for.... mine was like having light mensus, on and off but it stretched for almost 2-3 weeks. I was also feeling a lot of tenderness in my abdomen... probably the womb contracting back to its original state... if your is too heavy, u might wana check back with yr gynae...
pegsfur, i think it might be worth talking to your hubby... my hubb and i used to talk about this, althou not alot, he is more of a practical person. he is definitely sad and he knows I am affected and he just din want to me dwell on it and be able to move on. he felt helpless and felt bad when he saw me dwelling on it. of cos another impt thing is that he does not know wat i wan from him when i feel sad and cry.
so I had to tell him directly that all i need is for him to hug me and tell me everything is ok now... and hold me tight and i would be comforted... he now understands what i expect from him. but still he does not want me to feel so sad, and he thinks i really need to move on... but that is us, your situation might be different..
but still, i think u could still try to hv a chat with him... have a date and go to your fav hangout or a quiet place when he is not drinking, go over things like it was no one's fault, and how can u both cope with this together, grief together, and what would be the appropriate next step, perhaps a short getaway from the mundane might be a way to help him breakaway from the drinking, or do things together again, like rearranging and redecorate home for xmas, anything that instils hope perhaps...
but these are jus my suggestions, whatever it is, i suggest to communicate with each other soon, this would definitely be part of your memory, but it might not be good if this becomes a shadow... all the best to u..
Hi PJ, AF here is referred to menses, but i dunno what it stands for.... mine was like having light mensus, on and off but it stretched for almost 2-3 weeks. I was also feeling a lot of tenderness in my abdomen... probably the womb contracting back to its original state... if your is too heavy, u might wana check back with yr gynae...
pegsfur, i think it might be worth talking to your hubby... my hubb and i used to talk about this, althou not alot, he is more of a practical person. he is definitely sad and he knows I am affected and he just din want to me dwell on it and be able to move on. he felt helpless and felt bad when he saw me dwelling on it. of cos another impt thing is that he does not know wat i wan from him when i feel sad and cry.
so I had to tell him directly that all i need is for him to hug me and tell me everything is ok now... and hold me tight and i would be comforted... he now understands what i expect from him. but still he does not want me to feel so sad, and he thinks i really need to move on... but that is us, your situation might be different..
but still, i think u could still try to hv a chat with him... have a date and go to your fav hangout or a quiet place when he is not drinking, go over things like it was no one's fault, and how can u both cope with this together, grief together, and what would be the appropriate next step, perhaps a short getaway from the mundane might be a way to help him breakaway from the drinking, or do things together again, like rearranging and redecorate home for xmas, anything that instils hope perhaps...
but these are jus my suggestions, whatever it is, i suggest to communicate with each other soon, this would definitely be part of your memory, but it might not be good if this becomes a shadow... all the best to u..
bbteng
Member
Hi Pegsfur,
Sad to hear your loss...we all almost the same here...
I lost my twinnies boy Bryan & Benjemin this Aug...also water bags burst, trying to safe but unfortunately...yes, my doctors told me my boys will not survive cos the eyes not developed and lungs also not developed yet...no hairs...etc...
Well, i feel that their face features were alike my hubby except the nose were like mine...nicer...hmmm.
I still feel sad during the 1st 3 months...now feel better without crying so often, but still will my tears dropping some nights...
I feel better after crying short while...let it release is better then keeping it inside.
Do rest well....
Sad to hear your loss...we all almost the same here...
I lost my twinnies boy Bryan & Benjemin this Aug...also water bags burst, trying to safe but unfortunately...yes, my doctors told me my boys will not survive cos the eyes not developed and lungs also not developed yet...no hairs...etc...
Well, i feel that their face features were alike my hubby except the nose were like mine...nicer...hmmm.
I still feel sad during the 1st 3 months...now feel better without crying so often, but still will my tears dropping some nights...
I feel better after crying short while...let it release is better then keeping it inside.
Do rest well....
leslieanne
New Member
Hey gals
Have a good news to share...
If you gals remember "Witty" who used to be in this thread b4 had just given birth t a BB boi this morning... Since she is preggie, she had not posted anything here as she is pretty paraoid.. But she lke to share her good news here now and giving all of us a positive mind. She will drop by one of this days and post more abt her story...
Indeed very happy to hear the good news and we must all stay positive. Cheers!!
Have a good news to share...
If you gals remember "Witty" who used to be in this thread b4 had just given birth t a BB boi this morning... Since she is preggie, she had not posted anything here as she is pretty paraoid.. But she lke to share her good news here now and giving all of us a positive mind. She will drop by one of this days and post more abt her story...
Indeed very happy to hear the good news and we must all stay positive. Cheers!!
hi michelle, thanks!! shall we plan a meet up soon?? just realized if we both carried full term we would have delivered almost at the same time!
hi bbteng, thank you, yeah, my mum made sure i rested and had a proper confinement. I'm just waiting for my cycle to regulate then will definitely try again!
hi bbteng, thank you, yeah, my mum made sure i rested and had a proper confinement. I'm just waiting for my cycle to regulate then will definitely try again!
pegsfur
Active Member
Hi bbteng,
Sorry to hear of your experience. It looks like quite a number of us here had the same encounter. I'm quite surprised as it seems like it's more common than I thot as none of my family or friends have heard abt waterbag bursting in midterm pregnancy. Even my gynae told me it is not very common. I guesss we were the unlucky ones.
My hubby had taken a pic of our baby Owen when he came out ... it wasn't a very pretty pic as there was still some mucus & blood on him but that is our only remembrance of him. I looked at his pic and tell him 'good nite' before i sleep every day.
Patsy,
How long wld it take for your cycle to regulate? A part of me wants to start trying as soon as possible, but another part of me is still hesitating as i'm still mourning for the loss.
Sorry to hear of your experience. It looks like quite a number of us here had the same encounter. I'm quite surprised as it seems like it's more common than I thot as none of my family or friends have heard abt waterbag bursting in midterm pregnancy. Even my gynae told me it is not very common. I guesss we were the unlucky ones.
My hubby had taken a pic of our baby Owen when he came out ... it wasn't a very pretty pic as there was still some mucus & blood on him but that is our only remembrance of him. I looked at his pic and tell him 'good nite' before i sleep every day.
Patsy,
How long wld it take for your cycle to regulate? A part of me wants to start trying as soon as possible, but another part of me is still hesitating as i'm still mourning for the loss.
hi all i am new to this thread - i had a miscarriage in aug this yr and after I got back my first cycle menses, i tried to TTC again and I tried 4 cycles TTC but I still didn't get pregnant. I heard after D n C it's easier to get preggy but it didn't happen to me, anyone wonder what could be wrong with me. Thanks
tuliprose,
are you calculating your ovulations in any way? that would give you a better chance of conception. Having said that, it still depends on many other factors. Relax, it would come soon if u are trying on the right dates.
I got my bfp on my 4th cycle after DNC. Coincidentally, that was the first time we tried for a baby after DNC.
Irene and xuanting,
how are the O strips going? Do you have a better idea on your O days and are they regular?
Updates on my boy
he has graduated from NICU on his first month and is now in special care. Putting on weight very well. He touched 1.6kg today and has another about 300-400g before he can come home! so exciting. i am hoping he can come back as my xmas gift!
are you calculating your ovulations in any way? that would give you a better chance of conception. Having said that, it still depends on many other factors. Relax, it would come soon if u are trying on the right dates.
I got my bfp on my 4th cycle after DNC. Coincidentally, that was the first time we tried for a baby after DNC.
Irene and xuanting,
how are the O strips going? Do you have a better idea on your O days and are they regular?
Updates on my boy
he has graduated from NICU on his first month and is now in special care. Putting on weight very well. He touched 1.6kg today and has another about 300-400g before he can come home! so exciting. i am hoping he can come back as my xmas gift!
dwbhappy
Member
Hi xbliss, Congrats!!! I sincerely hope he can go home with u soon!!
as for the strips, they hv not reached me yet, i been experimenting with some expiring strips given by my fren, managed to test myself ovulating a couple days ago, so excited!! but i am not actively trying cos gg for a trip to nz in jan. but half-heartedly i hope to strike la. i am thinking when i come back after the Jan trip, I would be trying smartly with the strips.
tulip rose, perhaps u can consider using the ovulation test strips, give u a better idea of when you should ttc.
I used to chart my temp and take note on my fluid discharge, but i realise they may not be that obvious (or mayb i m getting older.. hmm..), so i think the strip might be more accurate gauge, and i would still chart temp as a guide.. at least better than I trying to be energiser bunny back in Aug. we were so exhasted but still din strike.
all the best... yea..
as for the strips, they hv not reached me yet, i been experimenting with some expiring strips given by my fren, managed to test myself ovulating a couple days ago, so excited!! but i am not actively trying cos gg for a trip to nz in jan. but half-heartedly i hope to strike la. i am thinking when i come back after the Jan trip, I would be trying smartly with the strips.
tulip rose, perhaps u can consider using the ovulation test strips, give u a better idea of when you should ttc.
I used to chart my temp and take note on my fluid discharge, but i realise they may not be that obvious (or mayb i m getting older.. hmm..), so i think the strip might be more accurate gauge, and i would still chart temp as a guide.. at least better than I trying to be energiser bunny back in Aug. we were so exhasted but still din strike.
all the best... yea..
hi irene, i've just e-mailed you my address. how should i pay you for the strips?
have you bought the tix for your nz trip yet?
hi xbliss, my cycle is pretty regular, usually 2 days+/-. hopefully the strips will help pinpoint my o day more accurately. after 7 mths of tcm, i'm finally ready to ttc again!
have you bought the tix for your nz trip yet?
hi xbliss, my cycle is pretty regular, usually 2 days+/-. hopefully the strips will help pinpoint my o day more accurately. after 7 mths of tcm, i'm finally ready to ttc again!
Hi all,
I have D&C done last Wednesday. I know need to do a mini confinment. Normally how long should it last? I intend to see a Chinese doc but not sure when i should go?
I have been staying at home and i would like to get out soon as staying home only remind me memories which hurt.
I have D&C done last Wednesday. I know need to do a mini confinment. Normally how long should it last? I intend to see a Chinese doc but not sure when i should go?
I have been staying at home and i would like to get out soon as staying home only remind me memories which hurt.
pegsfur
Active Member
hi tuliprose,
I was preggy again this July but sadly, had to go for induced labour 3 weeks ago as i was already in my 21 weeks. And yes, the bb was conceived naturally.
xbliss,
Congrats! Glad to hear of the good news. Hope bb can go home soon.
ximi,
I did a 2 weeks confinement after my 1st D&C as i was only 7weeks preggy. For my current one, i had to do a full confinement as mine was induced labour. Nevertheless, I guess it depends on you & your body bah. As long as you feel you are alright physically, i think you may start doing things normally.
I was preggy again this July but sadly, had to go for induced labour 3 weeks ago as i was already in my 21 weeks. And yes, the bb was conceived naturally.
xbliss,
Congrats! Glad to hear of the good news. Hope bb can go home soon.
ximi,
I did a 2 weeks confinement after my 1st D&C as i was only 7weeks preggy. For my current one, i had to do a full confinement as mine was induced labour. Nevertheless, I guess it depends on you & your body bah. As long as you feel you are alright physically, i think you may start doing things normally.
Hi,
Have been spending the whole day reading each of your stories. It reminds me of my baby girl, Micol Chan Tong En.
I lost my baby girl last week, which is at my 26th week pregnancy. Gals, kindly advise me what to do as my case is very different from you all. I personally feel that my gynae is responsible for the death of my girl.
On my routine visit on 25 Oct, my gynae detected that my gal's renal was dilated, he then refer me to a professor specialized in baby scanning in camden hospital. I visited the prof on 2/11 ( 23rd week) and was told that my girl was perfectly healthy. However, he detected that I had oligohydramnios, my amniotic fluid level was very low (4.4cm, whereas normal range is >11cm ) He said i may have premature delivery at week 28th, and need to monitor my fluid level closely. If it get worse, may need to do amnio infusion and had steriod injected to my girl at week 27th. The oligohydramniois is most likely due to the amniocentesis that i had at week 16th, which was attempted by my gynae twice to extract the fluid. I broke down after hearing this but the professor assured me that i can have my girl at week 28th and the chances of survival is very high. For your info, i quit my job in september and rest at home for my pregnancy.
I went back to my gynae three days later and past him the detail report. When i had asked him about my AFI ( average fluid index) on that day, he was not able to tell me clearly, he only mentioned that it was about the same. When i asked should i go back to the professor, he said he will liase with him.
One week later, i went to visit my gynae again. He told us confidently that i don't need to have amnio infusion after taking measurement of the growth of my baby. My baby still growing proportionally. He did not take the AFI measurement until i asked and he said it was about 8-9cm. ( I found out recently from the internet, the way he measure is incorrect )
Last Monday check up, I brought my MIL with me as my hubby has to work OT. Guess what, i still remember vividly, the moment i saw the scan, i couldn't see the heart beat, when he turned on the microphone, there was a complete silent. My girl was gone, she just stop breathing oneday. I couldn't believe this, another two weeks more, my baby could have survive. I was ready to welcome her in two week times, all her belonging are ready in case she was born earlier.
I had induce delivery last wednesday. She was so pretty, seems like a sleeping angel to me. We had cremated her and placed her in columbarium.
These days, i kept thinking, this mishap could have prevented if my gynae were more careful. He was aware of my oligoh but did not do a thorough check on each visit. My fluid level was actually getting lower each day, but he said the condition was improving. If the AFI was 8-9cm, how it can become so little in 3-4 days. My baby actually stop breathing in week 25th. Worse still, when i was detected with low AFI, why i wasn't admitted to hospital? My girlfriend encountered the same thing when she was in 25th week pregnant, she was in the hospital for 10 days and the baby had steroid injected. She is now a happy mum with two years old girl.
I didn't blame my gynae for the amnio even though it caused the fluid infection. I blame him for not checking on fluid level ever since he knew i had oligoh. If he had follow the professor's instruction closely, my baby might not die. Throughout my pregnancy, i kept telling him that my baby had very little movement, he did not suspect anything. I believe i had infection after the amnio, as the baby is small, she still can survive inside the womb. As time passby, my girl was getting bigger while the fluid level was decreasing. This explained why she had very little movement. Worse, he misled us by saying my condition was improved which the fact is opposite.
Till now, when i think of my girl, i felt so helpless. I would like to look into the bottom of this matter. Is there anywhere that i can seek legal advice from?
Please help. Thank you.
Have been spending the whole day reading each of your stories. It reminds me of my baby girl, Micol Chan Tong En.
I lost my baby girl last week, which is at my 26th week pregnancy. Gals, kindly advise me what to do as my case is very different from you all. I personally feel that my gynae is responsible for the death of my girl.
On my routine visit on 25 Oct, my gynae detected that my gal's renal was dilated, he then refer me to a professor specialized in baby scanning in camden hospital. I visited the prof on 2/11 ( 23rd week) and was told that my girl was perfectly healthy. However, he detected that I had oligohydramnios, my amniotic fluid level was very low (4.4cm, whereas normal range is >11cm ) He said i may have premature delivery at week 28th, and need to monitor my fluid level closely. If it get worse, may need to do amnio infusion and had steriod injected to my girl at week 27th. The oligohydramniois is most likely due to the amniocentesis that i had at week 16th, which was attempted by my gynae twice to extract the fluid. I broke down after hearing this but the professor assured me that i can have my girl at week 28th and the chances of survival is very high. For your info, i quit my job in september and rest at home for my pregnancy.
I went back to my gynae three days later and past him the detail report. When i had asked him about my AFI ( average fluid index) on that day, he was not able to tell me clearly, he only mentioned that it was about the same. When i asked should i go back to the professor, he said he will liase with him.
One week later, i went to visit my gynae again. He told us confidently that i don't need to have amnio infusion after taking measurement of the growth of my baby. My baby still growing proportionally. He did not take the AFI measurement until i asked and he said it was about 8-9cm. ( I found out recently from the internet, the way he measure is incorrect )
Last Monday check up, I brought my MIL with me as my hubby has to work OT. Guess what, i still remember vividly, the moment i saw the scan, i couldn't see the heart beat, when he turned on the microphone, there was a complete silent. My girl was gone, she just stop breathing oneday. I couldn't believe this, another two weeks more, my baby could have survive. I was ready to welcome her in two week times, all her belonging are ready in case she was born earlier.
I had induce delivery last wednesday. She was so pretty, seems like a sleeping angel to me. We had cremated her and placed her in columbarium.
These days, i kept thinking, this mishap could have prevented if my gynae were more careful. He was aware of my oligoh but did not do a thorough check on each visit. My fluid level was actually getting lower each day, but he said the condition was improving. If the AFI was 8-9cm, how it can become so little in 3-4 days. My baby actually stop breathing in week 25th. Worse still, when i was detected with low AFI, why i wasn't admitted to hospital? My girlfriend encountered the same thing when she was in 25th week pregnant, she was in the hospital for 10 days and the baby had steroid injected. She is now a happy mum with two years old girl.
I didn't blame my gynae for the amnio even though it caused the fluid infection. I blame him for not checking on fluid level ever since he knew i had oligoh. If he had follow the professor's instruction closely, my baby might not die. Throughout my pregnancy, i kept telling him that my baby had very little movement, he did not suspect anything. I believe i had infection after the amnio, as the baby is small, she still can survive inside the womb. As time passby, my girl was getting bigger while the fluid level was decreasing. This explained why she had very little movement. Worse, he misled us by saying my condition was improved which the fact is opposite.
Till now, when i think of my girl, i felt so helpless. I would like to look into the bottom of this matter. Is there anywhere that i can seek legal advice from?
Please help. Thank you.
weiyao,
thank you for being so brave to share here. I know you are still struggling with your emotions but want justice done for your girl.
The singapore medical council governs conduct of doctors. You may wish to contact them to see what can be done from here. http://www.smc.gov.sg/html/SMC_Home.html. Alternatively, you may wish to just have a consultation with a lawyer to to look at your case and your chances. Perhaps look for lawyers who have experience in handling medical lawsuits.
I know how it hurts cos one of twin died in-utero while i was under monitoring in hospital. imagine nobody detected anything though i was already strapped to all those devices. I feel it was a neglect on their part, but becos i am weak emotionally after the loss, i simply cannot find time and energy to pursue the matter. I thus channel all my strength to caring for my surviving twin who is very premature.
patsy,
thank you for your warm wishes. I know what you mean. I have congratulated ppl in this thread whilst i was grieving too. My son owes his life to the encouragement of all the mummies-to-be here as i came here regularly to get support during my complicated pregnancy. I always remind him to remember his humble beginnings, which were nothing to be proud of (all those needles, tubes, and wires in his small little body). That teaches me how precious life is. Patsy, i am very hopeful that u too can become a proud mother one day. Til today i am doubtful if i can ever carry a baby to full term cos of my 2 incidences, but whatever it is, i know i wanna have more children so i will keep trying. I am here with you all in your journey of ups and downs and hope we can all be a support and resource to each other.
thank you for being so brave to share here. I know you are still struggling with your emotions but want justice done for your girl.
The singapore medical council governs conduct of doctors. You may wish to contact them to see what can be done from here. http://www.smc.gov.sg/html/SMC_Home.html. Alternatively, you may wish to just have a consultation with a lawyer to to look at your case and your chances. Perhaps look for lawyers who have experience in handling medical lawsuits.
I know how it hurts cos one of twin died in-utero while i was under monitoring in hospital. imagine nobody detected anything though i was already strapped to all those devices. I feel it was a neglect on their part, but becos i am weak emotionally after the loss, i simply cannot find time and energy to pursue the matter. I thus channel all my strength to caring for my surviving twin who is very premature.
patsy,
thank you for your warm wishes. I know what you mean. I have congratulated ppl in this thread whilst i was grieving too. My son owes his life to the encouragement of all the mummies-to-be here as i came here regularly to get support during my complicated pregnancy. I always remind him to remember his humble beginnings, which were nothing to be proud of (all those needles, tubes, and wires in his small little body). That teaches me how precious life is. Patsy, i am very hopeful that u too can become a proud mother one day. Til today i am doubtful if i can ever carry a baby to full term cos of my 2 incidences, but whatever it is, i know i wanna have more children so i will keep trying. I am here with you all in your journey of ups and downs and hope we can all be a support and resource to each other.
pegsfur
Active Member
hi tuliprose,
Yes, we are trying for our 1st child.
It seemed so ironical as all along I wasn't very keen on having kids. But it was only after this pregnancy that made me realised that i want to have a kid, to become a mum, to love & care for my baby. But now that i want, i have to lose him. Life sucks.
Hi weiyao,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm not able to give you advice regarding legal issue but please do take care of yourself and be strong. We have all gone this torturous road and we share the pain that you felt.
Yes, we are trying for our 1st child.
It seemed so ironical as all along I wasn't very keen on having kids. But it was only after this pregnancy that made me realised that i want to have a kid, to become a mum, to love & care for my baby. But now that i want, i have to lose him. Life sucks.
Hi weiyao,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm not able to give you advice regarding legal issue but please do take care of yourself and be strong. We have all gone this torturous road and we share the pain that you felt.
hi weiyao, i'm sorry to hear what happened. do have a discussion with someone from the smc. i think the doubt will always be hanging on your mind if you don't find out what happened; it will also help with closure on this unfortunate episode. please rest well and take good care of yourself the next few weeks. your health comes first. hugs.
dwbhappy
Member
Hi xuanting.. hv u received the strips? i sent out yesterday.... let me know when u rec k? ...and yea, I hv bot my nz tkt, but now i wana make some adjustments, so still liasing with the travel agent...
xliss dear, u are doing well... its natural that u wana focus your energy on what is nec... how's the bb coming along? all ready to come home?
hi weiyao... It mus hv been real hard on u... i hope that u are on the road to recovery.... come in to share your feelings, we are all here to give u support....
I guess its probably nec for you in finding an answer on this matter... but are u prepared emotinally for this? perhaps u would like to discuss with your hubb and see what would be the appropriate next step..
I m no legal nor medical expert, here're my personal 2 cents..
getting your legal grounds right sounds like a gd way to start. I am thinking you might need some kind of medical report before u get a case out of it (in case u are thinking of suing your gynae for negligence), u might wana get your hands on some med reports first... the med council would probably want to know the gynae's ground for performing or not performing certain actions, which will probably need to be stated in his report. and it might be worth keeping all the previous records, test results, medications, etc given by the gynae, incase u might be asked to produce them in the investigations.
among all things, pls take care of your health, do confinement, build up your health... and allow yourself to ventilate and grief.
I would like to share this... once heard of a case of a mother bearing a baby with down syndrome, she did not know before delivery and the doc did not detect anything during the preg. When the mother saw the baby's tougue sticking out during one of the scans, she asked the gynae and was told baby was drinking water in her tummy... When she gave birth and discovered her child has DS, she could not accept it and kept asking why her child is like this...? and the last I heard, she is still asking. child is now in school already but she still could not accept the fact. but thanks goodness she is learning to cope with understanding her child now. I dun think she did anything to investgate or sue her gynae for negligence. and I am not sure what would hv been different for her if she did... but i guess sometimes, some people will have to do something to remind others not to fall into the same trap again...
wish u well.. weiyao...
xliss dear, u are doing well... its natural that u wana focus your energy on what is nec... how's the bb coming along? all ready to come home?
hi weiyao... It mus hv been real hard on u... i hope that u are on the road to recovery.... come in to share your feelings, we are all here to give u support....
I guess its probably nec for you in finding an answer on this matter... but are u prepared emotinally for this? perhaps u would like to discuss with your hubb and see what would be the appropriate next step..
I m no legal nor medical expert, here're my personal 2 cents..
getting your legal grounds right sounds like a gd way to start. I am thinking you might need some kind of medical report before u get a case out of it (in case u are thinking of suing your gynae for negligence), u might wana get your hands on some med reports first... the med council would probably want to know the gynae's ground for performing or not performing certain actions, which will probably need to be stated in his report. and it might be worth keeping all the previous records, test results, medications, etc given by the gynae, incase u might be asked to produce them in the investigations.
among all things, pls take care of your health, do confinement, build up your health... and allow yourself to ventilate and grief.
I would like to share this... once heard of a case of a mother bearing a baby with down syndrome, she did not know before delivery and the doc did not detect anything during the preg. When the mother saw the baby's tougue sticking out during one of the scans, she asked the gynae and was told baby was drinking water in her tummy... When she gave birth and discovered her child has DS, she could not accept it and kept asking why her child is like this...? and the last I heard, she is still asking. child is now in school already but she still could not accept the fact. but thanks goodness she is learning to cope with understanding her child now. I dun think she did anything to investgate or sue her gynae for negligence. and I am not sure what would hv been different for her if she did... but i guess sometimes, some people will have to do something to remind others not to fall into the same trap again...
wish u well.. weiyao...
Hi Angie, tks for helping me to spread the goods news...yes after being 'paranoid' for 9.5 mths, i am now back home with my bb boy. Today is 6th day from delivery of my boy and i am still on the learning process of becoming a mum...Since coming home from KK on wed, i am not able to catch a good nite sleep...every nite bb will wake up without fail for his milk, and need to change his pamper now and then. Also, i need to express my milk every 3hrs to 4 hrs now to get the milk supply in, tat means every nite i am oni having less than 5hrs of sleep...awy i feel is all worth it...i rmbr last year tis time i was crying and grieiving over my 'lost'..tat time i feel it was the end of the world...fortunately i was blessed with another bb in March tis year...please persist on with our bb dream...i nvr thought there will be this day tat i can cuddle my own bb...but well it reali happen now...bb dusts to all of u here who are trying now...dun give up u will soon be blessed with a bb too...
Angela, Ah-kat, xbliss, applemuffin, happy-ger,
gina...my regards to all of u..
Angela, Ah-kat, xbliss, applemuffin, happy-ger,
gina...my regards to all of u..
hi xbliss, thank you for your email... actually, i know how it feels to be a mummy already, although i was a mummy for only 17 months with my eldest, who passed away last April, 6 mths before my boy was born too early. You can see her here, www.sabie.org. I will continue to pray for you and Owen. If you need anything please don't hesitate to drop me a line...
weiyao, i too have gone through the possibility of filing a case with the SMA after my daughters passing last April, but we decided not to go ahead... though often I think I sitll want to know, specially after you hear of the mistakes made even in the US hospitals (look at the case of the twins of Dennis Quaid who was given 1000x the recommended dose of Heparin!!).. i just wonder if there was any mistake made but i doubt KKH will admit it, because they would not even give us a copy of the complete medical report, they just gave me a summary... but i just just think that if it wasn't the Lord's will that my daughter goes back to Him it wouldn't happen..
Anyway, I've finally gotten my first period, so I hope after 3 cycles the gyne will say we can TTC again!
weiyao, i too have gone through the possibility of filing a case with the SMA after my daughters passing last April, but we decided not to go ahead... though often I think I sitll want to know, specially after you hear of the mistakes made even in the US hospitals (look at the case of the twins of Dennis Quaid who was given 1000x the recommended dose of Heparin!!).. i just wonder if there was any mistake made but i doubt KKH will admit it, because they would not even give us a copy of the complete medical report, they just gave me a summary... but i just just think that if it wasn't the Lord's will that my daughter goes back to Him it wouldn't happen..
Anyway, I've finally gotten my first period, so I hope after 3 cycles the gyne will say we can TTC again!
Hi Weiyao,
I am so sorry to hear about Micol. Sometimes, the cost of human error is simply too high but these are beyond our control. Do take care of yourself and rest well. You would need a calm mind to sort things out mentally and emotionally, esp if you wish to pursue the matter further. It would be even more demanding on your body. Stay strong. Hope you will have some closure at the very least.
I am so sorry to hear about Micol. Sometimes, the cost of human error is simply too high but these are beyond our control. Do take care of yourself and rest well. You would need a calm mind to sort things out mentally and emotionally, esp if you wish to pursue the matter further. It would be even more demanding on your body. Stay strong. Hope you will have some closure at the very least.
Dear gals,
Thanks for all your support. Hubby and i decided to at least write in a report to SMC and see what they can do for us. My sister in law who works as a nurse in NUH advised us to do this as well. We will decide further after the SMC has done the investigation.
I went back to the gynae last sat and requested for a full set of medical report to be ready in a week time. This report will be submitted together with the previous records that i kept.
Ever since i lost my girl, i chant for her every night, hope that she can "tou tai" to be my girl again in the coming future. But first of all, i have to build up my health, and look for a reliable gynae.
Thanks for all your support. Hubby and i decided to at least write in a report to SMC and see what they can do for us. My sister in law who works as a nurse in NUH advised us to do this as well. We will decide further after the SMC has done the investigation.
I went back to the gynae last sat and requested for a full set of medical report to be ready in a week time. This report will be submitted together with the previous records that i kept.
Ever since i lost my girl, i chant for her every night, hope that she can "tou tai" to be my girl again in the coming future. But first of all, i have to build up my health, and look for a reliable gynae.
hi tazbaby, i'm sorry to hear of your loss. i think there shouldn't be any problem starting on the folic acid and prenatal pills but as to when you may be ready to ttc again, i think it really depends on both your emotional and physical recuperation. most of us have been told 13 months by our docs but i suppose the further along you were when you had your m/c, the longer you should wait in order for your body to build up. do check with your doc if you have an appt for a review and do take care in the mean time.
Hi all,
I have been trying to comfort myself after my M/C hoping that one of these day i am able to see rainbow after a heavy rain.
I have scarred tube and i was wondering if there are possiblities that i can be preg naturally without going thru another round of IVF.
Does anyone know any successful case? I been searching answer for my M/C and my scarred tube.
Thank you.
Tazbaby,
It is best to check with your doc. I remember doc mention that it is best to consume folic acid at least 3 months before TTC.
I have been trying to comfort myself after my M/C hoping that one of these day i am able to see rainbow after a heavy rain.
I have scarred tube and i was wondering if there are possiblities that i can be preg naturally without going thru another round of IVF.
Does anyone know any successful case? I been searching answer for my M/C and my scarred tube.
Thank you.
Tazbaby,
It is best to check with your doc. I remember doc mention that it is best to consume folic acid at least 3 months before TTC.
pegsfur
Active Member
Hi ladies,
Today marks the end of my confinement. It was this day last month that I had Owen in my arms after the induced labour.
The pain of losing Owen has lessened and I'm more stable emotionally, but the hole in my heart will never be filled.
It is time to move on, as told by my hubby. He said moving on does not mean we have cast Owen aside or forget him. But rather, we are placing him in our hearts cos that's the place where he'll stay with us forever. I guess he's right. So i'm braving myself, and start doing things normally just like pre-pregnancy days.
Family and friends have been giving me great support and encouragement. I can never thank them enough. Of cos, not forgetting this forum, where it gives us a platform to share our experiences and grief.
Oh, and i have to thank my dog too. During these hardest time of my life, for some reason, she seemed to sense my sorrow. For the past 2 mths, whenever i cried, she will come to me, sit beside me and look at me intently. If i start to pat her, she will immediately rest her head on my lap, as if to tell me everything's gonna be ok. I guess sometimes, words are not needed.
Today marks the end of my confinement. It was this day last month that I had Owen in my arms after the induced labour.
The pain of losing Owen has lessened and I'm more stable emotionally, but the hole in my heart will never be filled.
It is time to move on, as told by my hubby. He said moving on does not mean we have cast Owen aside or forget him. But rather, we are placing him in our hearts cos that's the place where he'll stay with us forever. I guess he's right. So i'm braving myself, and start doing things normally just like pre-pregnancy days.
Family and friends have been giving me great support and encouragement. I can never thank them enough. Of cos, not forgetting this forum, where it gives us a platform to share our experiences and grief.
Oh, and i have to thank my dog too. During these hardest time of my life, for some reason, she seemed to sense my sorrow. For the past 2 mths, whenever i cried, she will come to me, sit beside me and look at me intently. If i start to pat her, she will immediately rest her head on my lap, as if to tell me everything's gonna be ok. I guess sometimes, words are not needed.
pegsfur,
yes, dogs are very sensitive to their owners. I used to have a pom and she comes to me and puts her head on my legs to comfort me when i cry. They are such darlings.
Somehow, time heals our wounds. It's such a lame thing to say to someone grieving, but it is so true. Owen, my 2 angels, and many others are safe and playing together. On good days, we talk to them happily, on bad days, we become emotional when we start missing them. All in all, they still live on in our hearts.
I make it a point to mark my angel's birthdays and so something special for them or myself on those days.
tazbaby,
folic and prenatal vitamins are essential vitamins that can be taken at any time, unless doc gives specifications esp if yours are of a higher concentration (for e.g. some have higher iron which causes constipation). Just avoid vitamins with too high vit A as it is linked to deformity of the fetus. I take obimin, fish oil, vit c and calcium even after pregnancy.
babydream,
i am sorry i haven't heard of this condition yet, but i am sure there are such cases around. Do spend some time searching around this forum and others. That was how i got support for my complicated pregnancy due to a rare condition. It's important to talk it out with pple who have gone through it. You'll feel encouraged and also get useful info. Why not try asking doc if it's possible to link u up with someone who has had a successful pregnancy given the condition?
weiyao
your love will be felt by your angel who is now watching over you. I am glad u are so proactive. Do update us on the progress of your case. A good gynae is very important. I do have a recommendation. You can pm me if interested.
yes, dogs are very sensitive to their owners. I used to have a pom and she comes to me and puts her head on my legs to comfort me when i cry. They are such darlings.
Somehow, time heals our wounds. It's such a lame thing to say to someone grieving, but it is so true. Owen, my 2 angels, and many others are safe and playing together. On good days, we talk to them happily, on bad days, we become emotional when we start missing them. All in all, they still live on in our hearts.
I make it a point to mark my angel's birthdays and so something special for them or myself on those days.
tazbaby,
folic and prenatal vitamins are essential vitamins that can be taken at any time, unless doc gives specifications esp if yours are of a higher concentration (for e.g. some have higher iron which causes constipation). Just avoid vitamins with too high vit A as it is linked to deformity of the fetus. I take obimin, fish oil, vit c and calcium even after pregnancy.
babydream,
i am sorry i haven't heard of this condition yet, but i am sure there are such cases around. Do spend some time searching around this forum and others. That was how i got support for my complicated pregnancy due to a rare condition. It's important to talk it out with pple who have gone through it. You'll feel encouraged and also get useful info. Why not try asking doc if it's possible to link u up with someone who has had a successful pregnancy given the condition?
weiyao
your love will be felt by your angel who is now watching over you. I am glad u are so proactive. Do update us on the progress of your case. A good gynae is very important. I do have a recommendation. You can pm me if interested.
Hi xbliss,
Thank you. I will just keep looking out for more references which has similiar case.
But the chances seem so slim. I will just take things as it come. if need to be, i will just go for another round of IVF.
Meanwhile have to get back my health. I notice ever since my D&C, the whole body system seem abit haywired. A few days after the ops, i have spotting , and then it stop for almost 1.5 week with a lot of yellow discharges, and last weekend, i bleed again.
I have been having problem identifying the bleeding, and deciding whether is this normal , infectious or coming of menses.
Does anyone has this problem?
Thank you. I will just keep looking out for more references which has similiar case.
Meanwhile have to get back my health. I notice ever since my D&C, the whole body system seem abit haywired. A few days after the ops, i have spotting , and then it stop for almost 1.5 week with a lot of yellow discharges, and last weekend, i bleed again.
I have been having problem identifying the bleeding, and deciding whether is this normal , infectious or coming of menses.
Does anyone has this problem?
pegsfur
Active Member
xbliss,
Yes, I felt exactly like wat u said, sometimes I felt very lousy and starts to cry when I think of Owen. On some days, i could laugh and talk normally as if nothing happened before. I hope this emotional roller coaster ride will end soon.
Now I'm facing another problem ... I can't fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes at all. There's still another week left for me to lose the weight b4 i go back to office next week. But i doubt i can lose much. I've gained a total of 6kg ever since i got pregnant. Sian ...
tazbaby,
My gynae told me that as soon as my menses comes, it means that my body system is functioning like normal again, so I may start ttc even if it's only after the 1st cycle. But she cautioned that we shld only start to do it when we are mentally prepared. I guess i may start right after that.
Yes, I felt exactly like wat u said, sometimes I felt very lousy and starts to cry when I think of Owen. On some days, i could laugh and talk normally as if nothing happened before. I hope this emotional roller coaster ride will end soon.
Now I'm facing another problem ... I can't fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes at all. There's still another week left for me to lose the weight b4 i go back to office next week. But i doubt i can lose much. I've gained a total of 6kg ever since i got pregnant. Sian ...
tazbaby,
My gynae told me that as soon as my menses comes, it means that my body system is functioning like normal again, so I may start ttc even if it's only after the 1st cycle. But she cautioned that we shld only start to do it when we are mentally prepared. I guess i may start right after that.
stumbled_by
New Member
hi
do we need to undergo any mini confinement due to miscarriage ? How is the mini confinement done ? I just underwent D&C on Saturday. I am quite early in pregnancy.
do we need to undergo any mini confinement due to miscarriage ? How is the mini confinement done ? I just underwent D&C on Saturday. I am quite early in pregnancy.
hi stumbled_by, i hope you are feeling better now. not too sure what goes into the mini confinement but for the basics, you can get red dates and longans and steep them in hot water to make drinks (2 wks). you might also want to add more ginger and sesame oil to your food, and most importantly, keep warm at all times. it's been rainy recently so do try not to get caught in the rain too. take care.
