Indeed they said time will heal but at times I will still weep upon thinking of my lost ones. Have been more than 1 year for me.. I will still weep in the middle of the night even though now I’m pregnant. The babies are part of us..so we have to accept the reality n move on..Also it’s ok to cry and think of our babies at times but there’s always an allowance for hopes. Best of luck
Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
@cloudxy sorry to hear that, hope time will heal us..are u gg for fresh cycle.?
@Wen822 thank u, yes will always be part of us. congrats on ur pregnancy! I know it’s hard but don’t worry too much and enjoy ur pregnancy. Baby can feel mummy mood ,maybe?
Can I ask how Long do bleeding stop after d&c？it’s a few days since but I’m still bleeding，not spotting. Wonder if it’s my Tcm medicine that cause more bleeding..
@Wen822 thank u, yes will always be part of us. congrats on ur pregnancy! I know it’s hard but don’t worry too much and enjoy ur pregnancy. Baby can feel mummy mood ,maybe?
Can I ask how Long do bleeding stop after d&c？it’s a few days since but I’m still bleeding，not spotting. Wonder if it’s my Tcm medicine that cause more bleeding..
I bled quite long and I think Tcm impacts. I think 1mth for me which was bad. Try to avoid Tcm first I think ? I rem whenever I took Tcm I will have increased flow. But continuous bleeding may also indicate some residuals in the womb. Take more red dates tea to replenish the iron.
Still undecided about whether I should go through it all over again. Not sure if I could take the emotional baggage of possible failures again.
My bleeding and discharge did take about 3 weeks to clear completely but I wasn't on any TCM. Only had confinement food for about 2.5 weeks.
U should continue trying but only when u are emotional ready, and your body is ready. Take care
pruney.tomato
New Member
allow yourself to grieve. I went through the same thing exactly this time last year. support is extremely important. you are not alone. hugs.
I felt Tcm had increased my flow. That's what I thought too that there maybe residuals, and will it be better for all to be release now? hmm so I'm not sure whether should I stop first....
I also conceived through IVF, so I could understand the pain. My doctor kept telling me, don't give up ok, and there will be just as good chance of conceiving the next time round. I also read that the chances of conceiving seems higher within 3 or 6 months after miscarriage. Not sure if its true but reading many stories of people managing to conceive their rainbow baby after MC has helped to push me a little. Maybe you can take a break first...jiayou ok?
Stay brave and be positive. Say more prayers and take good care of yourself physically and emotionally. I believe our rainbow baby will come someday and it’s a matter of time and fate.
After being through 3mc consecutively, I had successful pregnancy. The journey from TTC to pregnancy and post pregnancy was a hell of a ride for me. I was a high risk case due to recurrent MC and when I thought I was going to be fine, I had cervical incompetency and placed under bed rest until full term. Baby was delivered naturally and I was discharged after 2 days. 2 weeks later I was bleeding in middle of the night during confinement and admitted to ICU for post partum haemorrhage.
Looking back, I’m blessed to be in the good hands of my gynae and support from family and boss!
Mommies, we are stronger than what we think we are! I didn’t think I could have done all these in the last 5years, but I did! I hope my experience can give you some moral support and hope.
After being through 3mc consecutively, I had successful pregnancy. The journey from TTC to pregnancy and post pregnancy was a hell of a ride for me. I was a high risk case due to recurrent MC and when I thought I was going to be fine, I had cervical incompetency and placed under bed rest until full term. Baby was delivered naturally and I was discharged after 2 days. 2 weeks later I was bleeding in middle of the night during confinement and admitted to ICU for post partum haemorrhage.
Looking back, I’m blessed to be in the good hands of my gynae and support from family and boss!
Mommies, we are stronger than what we think we are! I didn’t think I could have done all these in the last 5years, but I did! I hope my experience can give you some moral support and hope.
pruney.tomato
New Member
it took me a few months, to just be able to see other people celebrating their bundles of joy (pregnancy announcements etc). when i went out, i tear up at the sight of pregnant ladies and such. the only place I felt safe was at home.
Thank you for sharing your story! It really gave positivity and encouragement. Youre so brave. Congrats!!!
I cant too. Good thing for circuit breaker now. Hope that i can do so in a few months time.
Amanda Lin
Member
Hi ladies. Just had my evacuation of uterus procedure done yesterday. Was spotting on Friday night so I headed to KKH and their couldn’t detect my baby‘s heartbeat anymore. I was coming 10 weeks.
Last July I had a premature birth at 25 weeks because my waterbag broke. My girl fought really hard for 4.5months, was close to coming home but eventually passed on due to complications.
It has been a crazy journey and wanted this rainbow baby so badly. But Guess god has his own plan. I cannot wait to try again.
anyone tried soon after a miscarriage and got pregnant? I’ll be doing a mini confinement and hopefully let my body heal alittle.
Last July I had a premature birth at 25 weeks because my waterbag broke. My girl fought really hard for 4.5months, was close to coming home but eventually passed on due to complications.
It has been a crazy journey and wanted this rainbow baby so badly. But Guess god has his own plan. I cannot wait to try again.
anyone tried soon after a miscarriage and got pregnant? I’ll be doing a mini confinement and hopefully let my body heal alittle.
pruney.tomato
New Member
I did. but my issue wasn't getting pregnant (month aftrr d&c) - it was sustaining the pregnancies.
Amanda Lin
Member
Have you go for more test? Is there anything that you are doing differently now?
pruney.tomato
New Member
Yes I did. I saw a rheumatologist who had me tested for a whole range of autoimmune related disorders and conditions. Came back with low Protein S and elevated NK cells.
However, i recently saw a geneticist and Prof. Biswas (both from NUH) who instead said I should have gone for karyotyping and they both guessed translocation for my previous MCs.
I did QF-PCR (aka FISH) and CMA recently. PCR came back negative for T13, T18 and T21. Will update if something comes up in my CMA.
Amanda Lin
Member
Keep fingers crossed for you.
Amanda Lin
Member
Wanted to check if anyone know when I can I start taking folic acid, EPO, fish oil and Coq10 after my D&C? I am currently still in my first week of mini confinement.
would also like to start on raspberry leaf tea soon too. But not sure if I can take it since I’m drinking red date tea now.
would also like to start on raspberry leaf tea soon too. But not sure if I can take it since I’m drinking red date tea now.
carababy
Member
Hi mummies,
I tested pregnant on 10 June 2020 and went to see gynae straight away. It was 6 weeks and i could see the blinking heartbeat.
It was an unplanned pregnancy and I am already 41 years old with 3 kids (15/12/9). My hubby didn't want the baby and asked me to abort. I was very depressed for 2 weeks and cried everyday and even told the bb that i will abort him/her. Eventually my hb accepted.
During my 2nd review, the bb was already 9 weeks but doctor said the hb stopped. It measured 0.83cm and it stopped at 6w6d which was the week my hb and i quarrelled.
I went for D&C on 1 Jul 2020 and i was very sad and guilty till now. I feel that I am the one who caused the death of the baby.
If time can reverse back, I wouldn't cry and be so negative.
I tested pregnant on 10 June 2020 and went to see gynae straight away. It was 6 weeks and i could see the blinking heartbeat.
It was an unplanned pregnancy and I am already 41 years old with 3 kids (15/12/9). My hubby didn't want the baby and asked me to abort. I was very depressed for 2 weeks and cried everyday and even told the bb that i will abort him/her. Eventually my hb accepted.
During my 2nd review, the bb was already 9 weeks but doctor said the hb stopped. It measured 0.83cm and it stopped at 6w6d which was the week my hb and i quarrelled.
I went for D&C on 1 Jul 2020 and i was very sad and guilty till now. I feel that I am the one who caused the death of the baby.
If time can reverse back, I wouldn't cry and be so negative.
pruney.tomato
New Member
I agree with origorig. an early pregnancy loss usually is attributed to chromosomal or genetic issues... the hormones remain in your body for some time still, so that could be the reason for your then ongoing symptoms.
its not easy. hugs
pruney.tomato
New Member
it is what is called a missed miscarriage
carababy
Member
i don't think so because embryo already formed. just that hb stopped
carababy
Member
yes i will let go. on the brighter side, i gain back my freedom and patok time with my hb.
pruney.tomato
New Member
missed miscarriage is when the body does not realised there is no longer a live sac/fetus.
carababy
Member
Hi, I did my D&C on 1 Jul and just like u i have very bad abdominal pain on the 5th and 6th day. Went to see my gynae and he said my womb is ok but the left intestine is bloated. I thought the pain is due to the confinement herbal soup that I have been taking so i stopped immediately and the pain is gone on the 7th days but i realised that i started to have blood clot each time i went to the toilet and shower. Do u have blood clot as well?
Hello 
I am new here and would like to seek your advice on my situation.
I will be going for D&C coming Friday.
Went to KK for first ultrasound dating scan and baby has no heartbeat, the baby is 4mm in size. Subsequent checkup confirmed that baby continued to have no growth or heartbeat and the pregnancy is not viable.
During this whole period of time, my husband has this poker face, although he is with me but I don’t feel that he is really there for me. Today when I shared my fears and concern over D&C with him, he made a remark, ‘you remember you had a friend who died’. The moment he said this, I felt very bad for feeling afraid or anxious over the D&C as definitely I will not die doing the procedure. Emotionally I cannot handle this remark by him, it seems like the whole matter has nothing to do with him and I should not be whining/complaining about it.
when I first found out I was pregnant, and when I shared with him the news happily, his remark was, ‘don’t count your chickens until it hatches’. I wonder if it is normal for all husbands to react in this manner or I have found myself a toxic man to be with and I should really get a divorce ASAP. I was thinking since I am going through go much pain for the loss of the child, I might as well get myself divorced also, so the pain can all happen together and not be by ‘installments’. Would really appreciate some advice here. Am I being too paranoid or emotional?
I am new here and would like to seek your advice on my situation.
I will be going for D&C coming Friday.
Went to KK for first ultrasound dating scan and baby has no heartbeat, the baby is 4mm in size. Subsequent checkup confirmed that baby continued to have no growth or heartbeat and the pregnancy is not viable.
During this whole period of time, my husband has this poker face, although he is with me but I don’t feel that he is really there for me. Today when I shared my fears and concern over D&C with him, he made a remark, ‘you remember you had a friend who died’. The moment he said this, I felt very bad for feeling afraid or anxious over the D&C as definitely I will not die doing the procedure. Emotionally I cannot handle this remark by him, it seems like the whole matter has nothing to do with him and I should not be whining/complaining about it.
when I first found out I was pregnant, and when I shared with him the news happily, his remark was, ‘don’t count your chickens until it hatches’. I wonder if it is normal for all husbands to react in this manner or I have found myself a toxic man to be with and I should really get a divorce ASAP. I was thinking since I am going through go much pain for the loss of the child, I might as well get myself divorced also, so the pain can all happen together and not be by ‘installments’. Would really appreciate some advice here. Am I being too paranoid or emotional?
carababy
Member
Hi,Hello
I am new here and would like to seek your advice on my situation.
I will be going for D&C coming Friday.
Went to KK for first ultrasound dating scan and baby has no heartbeat, the baby is 4mm in size. Subsequent checkup confirmed that baby continued to have no growth or heartbeat and the pregnancy is not viable.
During this whole period of time, my husband has this poker face, although he is with me but I don’t feel that he is really there for me. Today when I shared my fears and concern over D&C with him, he made a remark, ‘you remember you had a friend who died’. The moment he said this, I felt very bad for feeling afraid or anxious over the D&C as definitely I will not die doing the procedure. Emotionally I cannot handle this remark by him, it seems like the whole matter has nothing to do with him and I should not be whining/complaining about it.
when I first found out I was pregnant, and when I shared with him the news happily, his remark was, ‘don’t count your chickens until it hatches’. I wonder if it is normal for all husbands to react in this manner or I have found myself a toxic man to be with and I should really get a divorce ASAP. I was thinking since I am going through go much pain for the loss of the child, I might as well get myself divorced also, so the pain can all happen together and not be by ‘installments’. Would really appreciate some advice here. Am I being too paranoid or emotional?
Understand what you are going through.
Do you have any kids? If you have then u need to think wisely.
I am not any better than you. I was pregnant with my 4th in 2015 and back then my hubby threatened to divorce if I did not abort but eventually i got miscarriage and we carried on with our marriage till I got pregnant again this year. He threatened to end his life, leave the house or divorce if I did not abort. I find him selfish and irresponsible because this baby belongs to both of us. My kids chose the bb over their daddy which I am glad but honestly i cannot live without him. Just when he decided to accept the bb, the bb chose to leave us.
Prior to the miscarriage, when i texted my hb that i lose 1 kg, his reply was no grow. I was disheartened and i wondered is he cursing the baby and is that his wish. When we went for check up and found out that it was a missed miscarriage, he apologised to me and he accompanied me for the D&C and he cried. I ever thought of leaving him since the bb was gone but i stayed on because of the kids.
After D&C, he didn’t utter a word, instead of comforting me, i was the one who comfort him. He is not the type that will sweet talk but he will show by little action.
Perhaps u can give your hb some time after the D&C. Ask him his feeling etc. Maybe he is not someone who knows how to sweet talk or he just talk without thinking if it will hurt u. At this moment, u are also very depressed due to the loss hence do not rush into any decision. I was also very impulsive like u and even arrange for lawyer appt but after D&C life went back to norm and i can sense that my hb loves this family too just that he is using the hard approach trying to force me.
Joyfulheart
New Member
hi there. i just had a miscarriage at week6 of my #2 pregnancy. #1 pregnancy was smooth, few months shortly after my wedding. may i know what i should eat and how to prepare my body for the next pregnancy?
My period is much lighter after the D&C. It has been almost a year like this and I am very worried. Did a HSG test and thankfully it's not Asherman's syndrome. Gynae did a scan on day 14 and the uterine lining is thin. We were told to try naturally to conceive for the next 6 months, and if we are still not successful then maybe for more checks and hormonal medication.
Perhaps see a gynae for a check if you are worried. I felt more assured after the check but as each month pass without successfully conceiving, I can't help but feel anxious.
Thanks for sharing. May I ask how light is your period and if uterine line can be improved through medicine?
About 2 days of period then spotting only. I think the medication are hormonal therapy, like estrogen and progesterones? Not too sure about that as the gynae did not tell me more.
Hi, may i know which TCM you go to? thank you!
I went to Yisheng Tcm at international building. Tcm Is Sophie WangHi, may i know which TCM you go to? thank you!
pruney.tomato
New Member
we are here for you. you are not alone. hugs.
Hi all,
I’m also new to this group.
Just wanted to share my story, I’m 30 this year and have a 4 year old daughter.
I had a chemical pregnancy that ended during the 4th week of pregnancy in June, everything was cleared, HCG went back down to below 5, and doctor advise us to try again as soon as we are ready.
August came, and I got pregnant again. Imagine the excitement we had especially after reading articles that the next pregnancy after a chemical pregnancy would be a healthy one. Sadly, that is not the case. I suffered from yet another chemical pregnancy during the 5th week even though I took Duphaston as advised by Gynae.
Would like to know if anyone had any success stories to share? Or any tips on how to increase the chances of a healthy pregnancy the next time round?
I’m also new to this group.
Just wanted to share my story, I’m 30 this year and have a 4 year old daughter.
I had a chemical pregnancy that ended during the 4th week of pregnancy in June, everything was cleared, HCG went back down to below 5, and doctor advise us to try again as soon as we are ready.
August came, and I got pregnant again. Imagine the excitement we had especially after reading articles that the next pregnancy after a chemical pregnancy would be a healthy one. Sadly, that is not the case. I suffered from yet another chemical pregnancy during the 5th week even though I took Duphaston as advised by Gynae.
Would like to know if anyone had any success stories to share? Or any tips on how to increase the chances of a healthy pregnancy the next time round?
carababy
Member
Hi Ellie,
I can understand how u feel. Even till now I still count the baby gestational weeks if the bb is still around. It is not easy to forget. For me, it is never possible for me to have another bb because my hubby all along never wanted to have 1 more .
pruney.tomato
New Member
maybe a genetic test might help.
whentwobecomesone
Member
Hi ladies, Went for second ultrasound today and doc said the baby stopped growing around 2 weeks ago. Im supposed to be 7w6d today but the baby is only measuring around 6 weeks. There was also no heartbeat.
Doc said this is rather common and could happen 1 in 4 pregnancies? It was very likely a chromosome abnormality, as hubby and I are both healthy, and there was nothing we could have done. Still, I’m feeling v down as it took us 11 cycles to finally have this baby, and now it’s gone
Doc said to wait at least a month before ttc again. Did your gynaes advise the same? Any ladies manage to get preggy again? May I ask how long it took? I can’t imagine going thru this for another 11 cycles
Doc said this is rather common and could happen 1 in 4 pregnancies? It was very likely a chromosome abnormality, as hubby and I are both healthy, and there was nothing we could have done. Still, I’m feeling v down as it took us 11 cycles to finally have this baby, and now it’s gone
Doc said to wait at least a month before ttc again. Did your gynaes advise the same? Any ladies manage to get preggy again? May I ask how long it took? I can’t imagine going thru this for another 11 cycles
Amanda Lin
Member
Hi so sorry you had to go through this. I had a missed miscarriage in June this year at 10 weeks. Baby’s heartbeat stopped and wasn’t growing after 8 weeks. However, I conceived again a month later without a period in between and I’m currently 4 months pregnant with a healthy girl.
The norm is to wait a cycle, but I believe it all boils down to how you’re feeling emotionally and physical. I did a two weeks confinement after my miscarriage and I think it help to make my body recover faster. Some said you are more fertile after a miscarriage. Not sure how true is that though.
good luck to you!
whentwobecomesone
Member
Hi Amanda, thanks for your reply. Congrats to your pregnancy! I’m glad to know that our body can bounce back and get pregnant again quickly.
My doc mentioned something about letting the uterus lining recover and grow to a good level before trying again. Hubby and I would love to try again as soon as possible. The wait for my first period to come then ovulation, seems such a long long time away. I also have a fear about what if this happens again, I don’t think I can go thru another miscarriage.
Did you use OPKs to predict your first ovulation after your miscarriage? I’m worried that the miscarriage would throw my period haywire. I did a medical miscarriage with pills.
What did you do for mini confinement? I tried researching online and most just mention, plenty of rest, no exercise, no cold water baths, no cold or liang foods, including cold drinks and don’t catch a chill. All of these I was already doing before I got preggy to prepare my body for pregnancy. TIA for sharing!
Bunnysutra
Member
Hi there, so sorry you had to go thru this. *hugs*
I went thru a natural MC in Dec 2019. Couldn't do a confinement because I was overseas on a holiday. But managed to drink red date tea (from Gongcha) over there. Tried to eat more soupy type of food also. When I came back to SG, I did a 3day miscarriage massage and went to consult tcm.
Fortunately for me, my menstrual cycle went back to normal immediately. I started ttc again in Feb 2020 but didn't manage to conceive until recently.
You will get thru this and conceive again. Baby dust to you!
whentwobecomesone
Member
Hi bunny, thanks for the encouragement. Did your tcm advise to do any confinement or eat special herbs? My gynae mention to wait till my period comes back before trying again, but that seems so far away. So I wonder if TCM sinseh would typically advise to wait a few months before trying? Did your tcm mention?
Bunnysutra
Member
Yea, my TCM advised not to rush into trying again and said to wait at least 2 cycles. She gave me powdered herbs to drink daily and I went for weekly acupuncture. At that time I also felt like it was an eternity to wait 2 cycles... But hubby also agreed so we guai guai listen to the advice.
whentwobecomesone
Member
Wow 2 cycles seem such a long time, especially since need to wait for period to come back naturally which might take 4 to 6 weeks? Do you know if it is a general TCM advice or it is based on each person’s body constitution?
Hello, I had a miscarriage at 2018 Dec, at week 8. Gynae mentioned to wait for 2 months. Apparently, there is a saying that we are quite fertile after miscarriage. Can easily get pregnant and I did. The miscarriage was heartbreaking but I got pregnant naturally within 6 months (in 2019) & now another bun in oven (2020). Hope this sharing makes you feel better.
Amanda Lin
Member
No I did not use OPK. My gynae gave the green light to have sexual intercourse after 2 weeks of my D&E procedure. So we did it without thinking too much and I only found out I was pregnant during my miscarriage review at the hospital 2 weeks later.
I ordered confinement food for two weeks. Had plenty of rest and avoided cold drinks and cold food(salad, sashimi, ice cream) even after my confinement. I think conditioning your body for the pregnancy is really important.