Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy

@meilingg: So sorry to hear about what your hubby's friend wife said that upset you.... Honestly, dont expect ppl who have never been thr what we went thr to understand us... they never will and let's not even expect that they do.... even till now, 7 months after my termination, i will think of the bb that i lost when I see other bbs who are coming to 2 months (her EDD was supposed to be late May)... its never easy, and i will never forget... whether its IVF or natural pregnancies doesnt matter at all as a baby lost is a baby lost. I am actually relieved to hear that you broke down, becoz to have emotions all pent up is even more damaging to your emotional health. Take as much time as you like to cry over it and grieve, but dont forget that life goes on and all the mummies here are with you, providing emotional strength and support! Like i have said before, we will never forget or bury this incident... just remember that one day, your bb will come back to you. So in preparation for that, get ready by taking very good care of your health so that it is in tiptop condition for your next pregnancy... jiayou!!!!

You can PM me too if you need someone to talk to! Always ever-ready to lend a listening ear k! :) *hugs*
 


Hey I was ref by one of the mummy to this mid term support group and wanna know more Mummies here..
I'm twins pregnancy and my edd is on 19 November. Initially all was good.. Oscar scanning and detail scanning show my twins are fine.
But went for my routine Check up and found out one hb stopped. Till now I still don't know what is the reason caused.. It very hard for me to accept as a we just know their gender a week before this happen.

As I'm still pregnant, many don't really take it seriously and kinda insensitive to it. To me, It different. Till now I am still crying for my girl but yet fighting hard for my boy..
 
Oh dear... its always very sad to read posts here. Sigh.

Siling, i pray that ur boy would be alright.

I think u r over 24weeks already so what would happen to you now?
 
siling87 said:
Hey I was ref by one of the mummy to this mid term support group and wanna know more Mummies here..
I'm twins pregnancy and my edd is on 19 November. Initially all was good.. Oscar scanning and detail scanning show my twins are fine.
But went for my routine Check up and found out one hb stopped. Till now I still don't know what is the reason caused.. It very hard for me to accept as a we just know their gender a week before this happen.

As I'm still pregnant, many don't really take it seriously and kinda insensitive to it. To me, It different. Till now I am still crying for my girl but yet fighting hard for my boy..
Click to expand...

stay strong for your boy, this is important, as any negative thoughts in you now will be felt by the baby....... may I know which week are you in now?
 
starlights said:
Oh dear... its always very sad to read posts here. Sigh.

Siling, i pray that ur boy would be alright.

I think u r over 24weeks already so what would happen to you now?
Click to expand...


Hello starlight and ecym,
Hello.. Thanks for keeping my boy in your prayers.. I am currently 24 weeks.. Now is hoping my son can stay longer inside my tummy...
So I can't really terminate the whole pregnanxy by inducing my girl out. Need to wait till full term..
 
Siling: sorry for asking...
But would it post danger to u since u r still having her in u for another few months? Technically speaking she's not alive already...
 
starlights said:
Siling: sorry for asking...
But would it post danger to u since u r still having her in u for another few months? Technically speaking she's not alive already...
Click to expand...

err actually i think I read about it somewhere... when the living twin managed to reach full term in overseas but provided there is no infection... Confirm no inducing as your living twin will be jeopardize if you do that... stay positive siling...

some qns - did gynae managed to scan and deduce at which weeks did your ger pass on? The twin have their separate placenta? and which gynae / hospital are you with now?
 
siling87 said:
Hey I was ref by one of the mummy to this mid term support group and wanna know more Mummies here..
I'm twins pregnancy and my edd is on 19 November. Initially all was good.. Oscar scanning and detail scanning show my twins are fine.
But went for my routine Check up and found out one hb stopped. Till now I still don't know what is the reason caused.. It very hard for me to accept as a we just know their gender a week before this happen.

As I'm still pregnant, many don't really take it seriously and kinda insensitive to it. To me, It different. Till now I am still crying for my girl but yet fighting hard for my boy..
Click to expand...
hey siling, i was frm e Nov mtb grp too n sad to c u here..

i can only imagine e various emotions and thoughts u have to go thru, like having two personalities between griefing for ur loss vs joyful for being still pregnant..

its difficult to but stay strong for ur little boy!
 
Last edited:
Ya. I have to hold my girl in me and that why ppl feel nothing about it. Like I'm still pregnant and not mc.

I'm different placenta and different sac so Gynae said it not that risky..
Actually I know nothing all at. Went for my routine check up and they can't find the girl hb. Went u/s it only a short while no measurement nothing. I only see a fetus with no hb and not moving..
 
siling87 said:
Ya. I have to hold my girl in me and that why ppl feel nothing about it. Like I'm still pregnant and not mc.

I'm different placenta and different sac so Gynae said it not that risky..
Actually I know nothing all at. Went for my routine check up and they can't find the girl hb. Went u/s it only a short while no measurement nothing. I only see a fetus with no hb and not moving..
Click to expand...

Yes its harder to accept mc when you are in your mid term pregnancy, can understand... but you still have a surviving twin so please channel all your grief into positive energy and pass to the surviving twin and trf the love for the ger to the miracle little one... glad your gynae said its low risk...
 
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lazybee85 said:
hey siling, i was frm e Nov mtb grp too n sad to c u here..

i can only imagine e various emotions and thoughts u have to go thru, like having two personalities between griefing for ur loss vs joyful for being still pregnant..

its difficult to but stay strong for ur little boy!
Click to expand...
Hey lazy bee I remember u...
Ya it hard.. Especially now I have to stay strong for my bb..
 
I still find it hard to accept as a week before my detail scanning is good..the sonographer even asked me to talk to my bb girl for the next scan as she is naughty refuse to give her a good view.. I rem my detail scan was 19w6d and next check up 21w0d she's gone..
 
siling87 said:
I still find it hard to accept as a week before my detail scanning is good..the sonographer even asked me to talk to my bb girl for the next scan as she is naughty refuse to give her a good view.. I rem my detail scan was 19w6d and next check up 21w0d she's gone..
Click to expand...
many things r unexpected n more times den not, there r no answers.. its been almost 6wks for me, n it still makes my heart ache~ Give urself ample time n space.. it's nt easy, but i am sure u'll b able to do it.. jiayou n re-focus ur energy~ anything just rant here or pm us.. it helps to have someone to talk to :)
 
Hi, I would like to ask if any of you terminated your twins due to TTTS.
And if the procedure for twins termination more difficult?
I'm very scare and I need some advice please.
Thank you.
 
Hi all,

Because of previous history w chromosome abnormalities termination, dr is suggesting to go straight to do cvs or amnio without Oscar or harmony test..

does Anyone has any advice whether to go for cvs or amnio?

The only factors that I may b aware of may be the lesser miscarriage risk for amnio however it would be a wait till 15weeks before amnio can be done. Whereas for cvs, it can be done as early as 11weeks...

Any advise?

Thanks
 
porky_pig said:
Hi all,

Because of previous history w chromosome abnormalities termination, dr is suggesting to go straight to do cvs or amnio without Oscar or harmony test..

does Anyone has any advice whether to go for cvs or amnio?

The only factors that I may b aware of may be the lesser miscarriage risk for amnio however it would be a wait till 15weeks before amnio can be done. Whereas for cvs, it can be done as early as 11weeks...

Any advise?

Thanks
Click to expand...
A few considerations

1.What chromosome abnormalities did your last pregnancy entails?
2. Have both yr dh and u done the blood karotype /DNA?

Dh and I went for DNA test when we found out my last pregnancy bb has microdeletion chr...we both cleared the test so i did not go for amnio this round. I did panorama similar to harmony test, did not do Oscar. I also went to Dr ananda for generic scan at 16 wks...he does not see my need to do amnio then. I will go to Dr ananda for fetal anomaly scan too
 
Hi ecym,

Ours was turners syndrome. Dr said it's random and not genetic, hence we didn't go for any genetic testing.

Funny that gynae said these cases r random yet they still recommend we go thru amnio on the subsequent pregnancy. Well I could probably guess it's like a just-in-case thing but can't help but feel v uncertain ....

Hmmm... I am also quite hesitant to do either cvs or amnio...
 
porky_pig said:
Hi ecym,

Ours was turners syndrome. Dr said it's random and not genetic, hence we didn't go for any genetic testing.

Funny that gynae said these cases r random yet they still recommend we go thru amnio on the subsequent pregnancy. Well I could probably guess it's like a just-in-case thing but can't help but feel v uncertain ....

Hmmm... I am also quite hesitant to do either cvs or amnio...
Click to expand...

i feel they treat amnio too lightly maybe because of the fairly low percentage of miscarriage... but i feel its not worth the risk, i rather spend more to go harmony test and generic scan than go cvs/amnio directly... personal choice...
 
Thanks ecym for your advise..

Our gynae is saying Harmony test may give false positive results and we are still recommended cvs/amnio ..

I wished I could have faith and not proceed w either ... But guess because of past history and for ease of mind we will have to do some form of test...
 
So far harmony test result is 99% accurate. I know There's another test call mt21 & price is almost same as amino But less invasive..
 
ReneLPN said:
@porky_pig,
as I already pass six mhs only we try for a new one because the experienced nurse tells me that it will be better for uterus to rest and get a recover fully.
Click to expand...

ReneLPN, I missed your post earlier but if u see this, congrats and hope u r well with ur rainbow baby :)

I am now in my wk9... Fingers crossed all will be smooth and well for us. We pray for faith and have faith. :)
 
ecym said:
i feel they treat amnio too lightly maybe because of the fairly low percentage of miscarriage... but i feel its not worth the risk, i rather spend more to go harmony test and generic scan than go cvs/amnio directly... personal choice...
Click to expand...

Hey ecym,

Understand u chose to do panorama test. So what is the difference between harmony and panorama?

Thanks
 
porky_pig said:
Hey ecym,

Understand u chose to do panorama test. So what is the difference between harmony and panorama?

Thanks
Click to expand...

hi @porky_pig , they are similar but panorama also check for three other microdeletions in the bb chromosome, you can find out more from HERE. I paid $1800 for this panorama thru WC cheng and associates.
 
Hello anyone out there, I could not find a 2015 support group for MTPT which is good for others. Nobody wants a MTPT. Over the past few years, I have been pregnant three times but none made it to heartbeat stage. Last dec I was pregnant again after a year and a half of ttc. We finally saw heartbeat and baby was growing so well according to the date. During the 12 week scan, she was found to have trisomy 21 and has developed a cystic hygroma and skin edema meaning major complications. Two days ago, I went for my MTPT. I have a blog - http://babymakingfromhope.blogspot.sg/2015/02/mid-term-pregnancy-termination-painful.html?m=1

Although I have expressed my frustrations in my blog, I still can't sleep. I have been reading some of your threads on doing a good confinement and I feel helpless because although my mom is popping by, she is not very traditional type and doesn't know how to do confinement. She will ask me what I feel like eating just eat and she will buy or cook. Today I ate cai fan for lunch. Tomo I will also eat cai fan for lunch. My mil is going Malaysia.

I feel very sad. My hub also feels very sad. Nobody can understand except people who have been as misfortunate. I don't know how to move forward.
 
Faith&Hope said:
Hello anyone out there, I could not find a 2015 support group for MTPT which is good for others. Nobody wants a MTPT. Over the past few years, I have been pregnant three times but none made it to heartbeat stage. Last dec I was pregnant again after a year and a half of ttc. We finally saw heartbeat and baby was growing so well according to the date.

I feel very sad. My hub also feels very sad. Nobody can understand except people who have been as misfortunate. I don't know how to move forward.
Click to expand...
faith&hope, its nvr great to c a new post here..

read ur blog n i'm sorry to hear abt ur MTPT which must b a really tough choice on u n hubby. while mine wasnt MTPT, i lost my little girl at 17wks n similarly, D&C wasnt an option cuz she was too big already even though i still went D&C in e end for other matters..

time will help..ur wound is just fresh, so give urself n hub time to grief.. its not an easy path but u can do it..

e first few days, weeks, even months will b e darkest n toughest.. but have faith in urself n hub, n build an even stronger r/l by going thru together..

just come in haf a chat, vent urself.. or pm me if u wan.. we ladies r here to lend a listening ear~
 
A quote someone else posted previously~

An angel in the book of life, wrote my baby's birth.
Whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for earth.
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
 
I would suggest you order confinement catering and its better. My confinement my mum did not cook for my lunch and dinner was simple. And thus i only try to cook ginger rice for my lunch. By right we must have enough rest. In the end i order catering lunch and was very good. Maybe you can consider that.
 
Actually i dont know if coincidence. My friend wife who have miscarriage before and they did try but no news. He came to my baby shower and carry my baby son. Now she is pregnant with baby boy. So i feel happy for her too.
 
Hello faith&hope,
I m so sorry to hear abt yr loss. Take yr time to grieve and heal. The pain is still raw now. I lost my girl at 28.5weeks and had to deliver her stillborn. We first knew abt her problems at week 12 as well.she most probably had chromosomal abnormalities but chose to hang in there til 28.5
Weeks before her heart gave out. I has to spend 4 days on hospital to induce her to be delivered. The first few weeks I just cried myself to sleep and din not meet anyone except family.
As for confinement food, u can order confinement food from quite a few companies such as natal essentials,tmc, chilli api. Drink red date longan tea with ginger as well. Do a good confinement to get yr body back into shape.
For me, I Thot I never wld come back from this grief but my little girl had other plans for me. She sent me her little sister 6 weeks after I lost her so Tt I had to be strong again. I still miss her and think of her a lot but I tell myself Tt she is looking out for me. I read somewhere that we are no longer the same person before this happened, we are looking for a new normal..and I think it's so true. We can never go back to the way we were before but look for a new normal to live our life. Keep yr chin up no matter how hard u think it is. After a storm, there wld be a rainbow...
 
Hello thank u for your replies. In the end, I ate a week of confinement food. My mil cooked a bit. My mom cooked a bit and i cooked a bit... Did a root canal and wisdom surgery coming soon so my break was not very restful. Last week, cny kept me busy too. Although i know I would always make the same decision , a part of me would always know that I have lacked the courage to wait till her last breathe. I still have problems sleeping. Some support groups are very sad. Losing their babies at seven eight months... The stillborn group.. I feel so sorry for anyone who have lost their children. Pregnancy is so scary for some people.
 
I was surprised to see replies because this is an old thread so I really thank u and also for those who have left sweet messages on my blog.
 
Dear all
Sorry to know you all had went through so much hard time but i cannot find any recent support group to ask.
I just went thru a MTPT this Tues , gave birth to my poor little T21 boy, he was breeched somemore, head stucked for 15mins before a doc manage to take the head out and placenta only out after 3 hrs (my own gynae rushed down to pull it out) . May i know how long should my confinement be?
 
Mummies, my gynae just called me tdy to inform my 15w5d boy has DS, based on Harmony Test. Will be gg for amnio next week. Cried lots tdy, can't help myself. Had a previous mc in 1st Tri back in 2011.

Hb wants to terminate if amnio results are the same.

May I know if all of u went thru the entire procedure (from inserting pills to dilate the cervix, to gg thru the contractions n then delivering) in the gynae ward? My gynae said we hv choice of 1, 2 or 4 bedded. But costs vary a lot, hence I would be very thankful if any kind soul here can advise if we choose 2 or 4 bedded, there'll be other patients n visitors gg in n out n no privacy? After reading thru all the posts here, I dunno if I can go thru the procedure in front of strangers.
 
serenelm said:
Mummies, my gynae just called me tdy to inform my 15w5d boy has DS, based on Harmony Test. Will be gg for amnio next week. Cried lots tdy, can't help myself. Had a previous mc in 1st Tri back in 2011.

Hb wants to terminate if amnio results are the same.

May I know if all of u went thru the entire procedure (from inserting pills to dilate the cervix, to gg thru the contractions n then delivering) in the gynae ward? My gynae said we hv choice of 1, 2 or 4 bedded. But costs vary a lot, hence I would be very thankful if any kind soul here can advise if we choose 2 or 4 bedded, there'll be other patients n visitors gg in n out n no privacy? After reading thru all the posts here, I dunno if I can go thru the procedure in front of strangers.
Click to expand...

Hi, many hugs to you...it is always tough to face what you are facing...the MTPT process may be quite long and taunting. For privacy sake, I would suggest take a 1 bedder, it will be in a normal ward. go for the least expensive single ward...usually insurance will not cover pregnancy termination.
 
ecym said:
Hi, many hugs to you...it is always tough to face what you are facing...the MTPT process may be quite long and taunting. For privacy sake, I would suggest take a 1 bedder, it will be in a normal ward. go for the least expensive single ward...usually insurance will not cover pregnancy termination.
Click to expand...

Thanks ecym, I haven't stopped crying since gynae called me.

U did yours in a single ward too?

Any mummies here did theirs in 2 or 4 bedded ward can share your experience with me? As my gynae is at Mt E, the costs difference is rather high, ard 1+k.
 
yes mine in single ward in TMC... Yes Mt E is expensive. Ask your Gynae if he can do it at other hospital? Or if you are indifferent to other gynae doing MTPT, maybe you can ask your gynae to recommend. I am sure he/she can understand your position. For me, the most important thing when doing MTPT are the compassionate nurses and gynae...My experience with TMC was uneventful.
 
ecym said:
yes mine in single ward in TMC... Yes Mt E is expensive. Ask your Gynae if he can do it at other hospital? Or if you are indifferent to other gynae doing MTPT, maybe you can ask your gynae to recommend. I am sure he/she can understand your position. For me, the most important thing when doing MTPT are the compassionate nurses and gynae...My experience with TMC was uneventful.
Click to expand...

Thanks babe! Yah think I'll ask him if possible to do it at another hospital..
 
serenelm said:
Thanks ecym, I haven't stopped crying since gynae called me.

U did yours in a single ward too?

Any mummies here did theirs in 2 or 4 bedded ward can share your experience with me? As my gynae is at Mt E, the costs difference is rather high, ard 1+k.
Click to expand...

Warm HuG Serene. I'm terribly sorry to know abt ur miscarriage in 2011 and the failed Harmony test now. However please dont give up yet. Harmony test is not as the amniocentesis. So go for your amniocentesis there are cases which Harmony fail yet amnio showing bb normal. Wish and hope your bb is normal.
Not sure if you like to know my experience and if it is useful for you. I just delivered my DS bb after the MTPT . My case was my oscar failed then doc asked to do amnio at 16 weeks, but we didn't opt for express results cos we checked with doc either way we still have to wait for the full report to be sure. So around 18 weeks amnio showed my poor #2 son was DS. We requested for a week to make the decision n to settle our work and family. Doc said either do at NUH or Mt E Novena ( his clinic is there), he usually able to help deliver bbs at Gleneagles n MtA too. As we consented to volunteer our dear #2 for the DS research for earlier accurate detection on possible pre-natal treatment to reduce the extent of DS, for their research n proximity to my parents ' house we chose NUH.
NUH also said for MIdterm preg termination they will try give single rm or an isolation room. For research they will not insert pill, but they will use injection n another amnio via my stomach.
On 13 Jul i went to NUH n my doc gave the bb a shot i guess at ard 2:30pm. I dont dare to open my eyes to see. After that i also dunno wat would happened esp my first son was delivered c-sec at 37weeks without cobtraction pain , he got restricted growth in my womb. In the night the contractions started till 7plus a bit uncomfortable so i finally give in to panadol so i can take my breakfast. At 9 plus the pain getting worse n after diarhorrea 2 times. 3 rd time running to toilet was a false alarm n i forced myself to quickly where the disposable undies n pad which the nurse just gave. I dunno if i going to diahorrea or going into labour . At near 10am my waterbag burst n after that then they give me a pain jab in butt and reject my request for epi and shortly i delivered my #2 breeched n his head got stucked for 15 mins. Throughout all these are in the isolation room which is a normal 1bedder as they claim no 1 bedder or even deluxe suite. When the water bag and the bb out, these 2 occansions i was only left with hubby... So was what i went thru normal?
If so Serene, likely u shld n required to be in 1 bedder or isolation room. My hubby was worried my wail of pain can be heard by pple walking at the corridors at the 2sides of the room.
Hopefully you will not go to the same and your bb is healthy and normal. There is still hope for you.
 
BabyGN said:
Hey Serene please dont think of these first. Ur bb may not need to go through this. There is still chances ur this bb is normal and healthy.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your sharing, BabyGN. Really appreciate any n all info I can grab now. Been crying endlessly...

I'm praying for my bb too but gynae said harmony test up to 99% accuracy for DS, that really shattered me to pieces..

Lots of big hugs to all mummies here who lost their little ones.. U're all very very brave mummies who went thru hell for ur little darlings..
 
Remember Serene, there will be rainbow after every storm...so stay positive ya... I did not describe the process of MTPT fully but I would thought the hospital will actually provide single ward for all MTPT cases....
 
Hi all, I have a 21 month old baby girl. I am seeing adrain woodworth at cck clinic. A 10 week scan showed that my baby has no heartbeat. Is waiting for a natural miscarriage better, or doing a d&c? Do you know the cost of d&c at kkh? I heard thomson medical is expensive, but this is where I will be doing if I choose my current doc.
 
serenelm said:
Thanks for your sharing, BabyGN. Really appreciate any n all info I can grab now. Been crying endlessly...

I'm praying for my bb too but gynae said harmony test up to 99% accuracy for DS, that really shattered me to pieces..

Lots of big hugs to all mummies here who lost their little ones.. U're all very very brave mummies who went thru hell for ur little darlings..
Click to expand...

My doc said Harmony test quite a bit of false positives so still got chances ur bb is healthy and normal. Nvm just go for the amniocentesis and see how. Please not for amniocentesis you have to have bed rest after that as there is risk, but not high. Just take care for 1mth after amnio.
For me i dont think i am strong but that is life.
 


fashionluv said:
Hi all, I have a 21 month old baby girl. I am seeing adrain woodworth at cck clinic. A 10 week scan showed that my baby has no heartbeat. Is waiting for a natural miscarriage better, or doing a d&c? Do you know the cost of d&c at kkh? I heard thomson medical is expensive, but this is where I will be doing if I choose my current doc.
Click to expand...
Sorry to know that.. I usually will follow doc's advise
 
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