These few weeks has been really tormenting for me and my husband. Since I knew I was pregnant, I was very very happy. Then during my 15 weeks prenancy, i was given the option to go for the Oscar test during my 16 weeks. But nightmare begin for me ever since I knew my results for the Oscar test. I was told my risk for having a down syndrome baby is 1:28. I am 31 yrs old and my husband is 30. My first child is now 3 yrs old and we have no past family history of DS ( down syndrome)and we also do not have any medical history of blood pressure, diabetes etc etc. So,it was really shocking when I was told my risk of having DS is 1:28!! I cried and cried. Then my doc asked me go for Amniocentesis . i opted for the express results as I was really really anxious. 2 days after amnio, my nightmare was confirm. I had a DS baby boy. I really break down. So, i waited for anther 2 weeks for the final and detailed results...again it is the same. I really feel heart broken. I really wanted this child. Be it boy or girl...as long as is healthy...everyday i cry. So my gynae asked me to consider my choice...either keep or abort. Finally decision was to abort. I went to TMC on 23rd Aug and was given vaginal passary till full dilation and my precious baby was delivered at ard 9pm plus. He looks so peaceful and he looks so adorable to me. It really break my heart to see him pass away just like this but I really cannot cope with a DS child. I am really sorry, my poor boy. Mummy really wanted to love you. All i can say is sorry.Now i really have no heart to conceive again cos I am really scared to have a DS baby again. I feel very guilt and depressed. So i hope to find some support over here. Thanks for listening to me , people.
My dear, I'm so very sorry to hear about your traumatic ordeal. A couple who looks forward to pregnancy gets so happy when they see the positive results, and they start dreaming of the day when the baby will join their family. To have the results crashing down on you like this is so difficult to bear. It's horrendous to have to decide to terminate your child's life.
I am not in the business of judging whether what you did was right or wrong, and I just want to share with you what happened in my own family.
My cousin was born with DS. My cousin is a blessing and we all love her to bits. She has a simplicity about her, and an innocent way of looking at life that just encourages you to turn away from your problems and look at the big picture.
But, on the other hand, my aunty has been worried sick all her life. Since young, I remember seeing my aunty stressed about everything. Their family is not well off, so she had to take on 2-3 jobs at one time to keep the family going and to meet my cousin's medical bills. DS is not so simple. They may also come with other problems such as ear and sight damage - like my cousin. The cost of sending her for reviews, and to fix up external hearing and seeing aids are tremendous costs for a normal family. My aunty had to work so hard to keep the family afloat, and now, in her twilight days, she is constantly worried about what would happen to my cousin once she passes away. Who will take care of her, how will she manage her life?
The years of spending money on medical expenses resulted in a thin coffer. But even if they had money, how would she manage the expenses when she can't even handle finances? And I'm talking about just giving money in return for a bowl of soup - she can't even manage that. Of course, what I'm talking about may be a very bad case, and caused by an era when support for such children were barebones. But the same issues prevail. The parents will always be worried sick about the future of the kid, particularly in a future without them.
There is the possibility that the other children of the family may be neglected while the parents, perhaps out of guilt, obsess over the wellbeing of the DS child. This happened in my aunty's family, where the elder child then turned against the family for failing to give her any attention after her sister came along.
My aunty's case is a sad one, and perhaps, an extreme one because of the severity of my cousin's condition. But I just want you to know that before anyone can throw stones at you, indeed, before you throw stones at yourself, remember that only you know what's best for your family. Take heart, take care of yourself, and prepare yourself for your next try. All shall be well.