Support Group - Mid Term Termination Of Pregnancy

Samangelboy

New Member
Buttercup3007 yes, the desire are stronger to want another baby (after the lost), and yes, I'm afraid too. But my gynea said, "it" happened by chance, so "will" not happen again.
My biological clock are ticking, I really don't know whether I'm still given chance to be a Mother. *sigh*
Everyday, I pray.
 


buttercup3007

New Member
My bleeding still have not stop after 4 weeks, anyone knows what could be the reason?
Is it bleeding or discharge? I still have a bit of pinkish discharge after 4 wks. Nurse said that is normal, as long as its not heavy bleeding with abdominal pain. If you are uncomfortable best to see a doc. Take care
 

buttercup3007

New Member
Buttercup3007 yes, the desire are stronger to want another baby (after the lost), and yes, I'm afraid too. But my gynea said, "it" happened by chance, so "will" not happen again.
My biological clock are ticking, I really don't know whether I'm still given chance to be a Mother. *sigh*
Everyday, I pray.
I suppose no one can guarantee that things won't happen again esp for older mummy wannabes like us. But we owe it to ourselves to keep trying while we still can in order to avoid regrets in future? For now i think it's impt to heal properly physically and emotionally before deciding on next steps. I have been thru D&C and mid term termination.... it truly takes a lot more to recover from the latter.
 

Corals

Member
Hi,
I had my first menses post d&c after 7 weeks. The wait for the second menses is just too long. It's been 53 days, I am getting alittle worried. My menses cycle were never this long before my pregnancy. Has anyone experience delayed menses after d&c?
Thanks.
 

lynn1981

Member
Is it bleeding or discharge? I still have a bit of pinkish discharge after 4 wks. Nurse said that is normal, as long as its not heavy bleeding with abdominal pain. If you are uncomfortable best to see a doc. Take care
This is already the 7th week, my bleeding always come back whenever i start to walk for about 10mins. When i don't walk, the bleeding will stop, the doctor also couldnt give me a good explaination.
 

char-mee

Active Member
This is already the 7th week, my bleeding always come back whenever i start to walk for about 10mins. When i don't walk, the bleeding will stop, the doctor also couldnt give me a good explaination.
Who is your doc? Do seek another doc opinion as non-stop bleeding is no joke. Mine stopped after 3 weeks and just thick mucus discharge (should be lochia) which are pinkish or light brown.
 

lynn1981

Member
My doctor is prof biswas from nuh. I find him no good cos he totally nv give me any advices during my preg and after my miscarriage.
 

char-mee

Active Member
My doctor is prof biswas from nuh. I find him no good cos he totally nv give me any advices during my preg and after my miscarriage.
I was with him too... he's good coz he's very experienced. But he will never commit anything coz he's seen tons of cases and anything is possible. He will advise when asked.
 

Jp777

New Member
Its coming to 2years since i miscarriaged. Till now, whenever i think of her, my tears will still drop. She leave me at weeks 20. I feel my heart ache whenever i think of her. Its not a easy path.

To my angel, u r forever in my heart. I m sorry that i nvr take a look at u. I m angry y u want to leave me back then. I really hope that u will forgive me.

Docs told me that i have to get an egg donor cos i have egg quality problem. I m trying to pick myself up. Somehow i cannot accept but becos of my loss, all the more, i desire for one.
 

char-mee

Active Member
Its coming to 2years since i miscarriaged. Till now, whenever i think of her, my tears will still drop. She leave me at weeks 20. I feel my heart ache whenever i think of her. Its not a easy path.

To my angel, u r forever in my heart. I m sorry that i nvr take a look at u. I m angry y u want to leave me back then. I really hope that u will forgive me.

Docs told me that i have to get an egg donor cos i have egg quality problem. I m trying to pick myself up. Somehow i cannot accept but becos of my loss, all the more, i desire for one.
Hugssss...
 

winleobee

Member
Its coming to 2years since i miscarriaged. Till now, whenever i think of her, my tears will still drop. She leave me at weeks 20. I feel my heart ache whenever i think of her. Its not a easy path.

To my angel, u r forever in my heart. I m sorry that i nvr take a look at u. I m angry y u want to leave me back then. I really hope that u will forgive me.

Docs told me that i have to get an egg donor cos i have egg quality problem. I m trying to pick myself up. Somehow i cannot accept but becos of my loss, all the more, i desire for one.
jia you!
 

ltzjess3

New Member
Its coming to 2years since i miscarriaged. Till now, whenever i think of her, my tears will still drop. She leave me at weeks 20. I feel my heart ache whenever i think of her. Its not a easy path.

To my angel, u r forever in my heart. I m sorry that i nvr take a look at u. I m angry y u want to leave me back then. I really hope that u will forgive me.

Docs told me that i have to get an egg donor cos i have egg quality problem. I m trying to pick myself up. Somehow i cannot accept but becos of my loss, all the more, i desire for one.
I can feel you. A big hugs to you.
 

buttercup3007

New Member
Who is your doc? Do seek another doc opinion as non-stop bleeding is no joke. Mine stopped after 3 weeks and just thick mucus discharge (should be lochia) which are pinkish or light brown.
Hi ladies, just like to share my experience. The pinkish/ light brown spotting lessened but did not go away 1.5 mths after induced delivery. So doc ordered detailed ultrasound and found that i still have a tiny piece of placenta in my uterus. Doc advised its best to get it out esp since we want to try again. Becoz i didn't want to undergo ANOTHER d&c, i opted to take meds to induce contraction with the hope that i will expel the placenta. But a day b4 i had planned to take the meds, i saw a small brownish pink mass in the toilet bowl. Later that day i got my period. My 1st full period 2 mths after induced delivery. Praying now that my uterus is clear and ready for us to try again.
 

Samangelboy

New Member
Anyone of you, somehow after the mid term termination/miscarriage, one and off feel our womb "moving"/"contracting"?
I never have such feel b4, start to feel my womb"moving" after the procedure.
It's already 8months since I lost my angel boy.
Something wrong with my womb?
 

char-mee

Active Member
Anyone of you, somehow after the mid term termination/miscarriage, one and off feel our womb "moving"/"contracting"?
I never have such feel b4, start to feel my womb"moving" after the procedure.
It's already 8months since I lost my angel boy.
Something wrong with my womb?
Contracting yes but mildly .. I think it part of uterus getting back to previous shape.
 

ecym

Well-Known Member
Dear mummies...I was lingering in this thread and was reading the past posts... just want to shout out to all to stay positive and may your rainbow babies come sooner.

To cut my story short :- I underwent MTPT when I was at 21 weeks gestation with my IVF conceived baby boy (due to chromo disorder) in Dec 2013. I went thru another IVF cycle in Apr 2014 and was thankful to give birth to my rainbow baby girl in Jan 2015.

While we grieve our losses, do remember to look forward too... Hugs!
 

char-mee

Active Member
Dear mummies...I was lingering in this thread and was reading the past posts... just want to shout out to all to stay positive and may your rainbow babies come sooner.

To cut my story short :- I underwent MTPT when I was at 21 weeks gestation with my IVF conceived baby boy (due to chromo disorder) in Dec 2013. I went thru another IVF cycle in Apr 2014 and was thankful to give birth to my rainbow baby girl in Jan 2015.

While we grieve our losses, do remember to look forward too... Hugs!
Thanks for your words of encouragement!
 

tingz_02

New Member
Dear All,

I’m so glad to find this support group. Came across this group while I was surfing to find more information on MTPT.

Wanted to share my story and give support to the rest of ladies whom are undergoing the same situation as us in the forum. This really gave me a lot support, knowing I’m not alone and gave me strength.

My baby girl was born on 6th June 2016 thr induced labour and my husband is not able to company me through the process as he is undergoing cancer treatment. Though we were very certain to proceed with MTPT once doc diagnosed our baby has DS (we decided that its unfair to her if she’s born unhealthy), but it has not been easy since the day I received the news. Took us a year to have this baby and now due to his treatment we cant try for baby anytime soon.

I thought I’m prepared and will be alright after the procedure. I did felt relief (felt so guilty as well), but the emotional sadness kicked in when I’m home, I cried myself to sleep and woke up early in the morning, or in the middle of the day missing my baby. Its been really tough and I think I’m not ready to meet friends who are pregnant or with kids for the time being. Things made worse that 2 of my cousins wives and my friend are pregnant, all giving birth around my EDD.

I been praying my baby will be reborn healthily to another family and will be loved and doted by her new parents.

2016 has not been great to us so far, but staying positive brings me this far. And I believe I will be stronger after this episode and all the mummies out there u will be stronger too! Jia you! We can do it!
 

char-mee

Active Member
Tingz_02.. Sorry to hear about your loss. It's been almost 5 months for me and while I look fine on the outside, it's still a life changing event. I avoid friends who talk abt kids all the time, no longer liking kids photos on FB, no interest in playing with children anymore. Not sure why but I suppose we dun wish to be reminded of our lost child.
You've been brave. Stay positive that life will be better.
 

tingz_02

New Member
Tingz_02.. Sorry to hear about your loss. It's been almost 5 months for me and while I look fine on the outside, it's still a life changing event. I avoid friends who talk abt kids all the time, no longer liking kids photos on FB, no interest in playing with children anymore. Not sure why but I suppose we dun wish to be reminded of our lost child.
You've been brave. Stay positive that life will be better.
Thank you so much char-mee. I will stay strong as my husband need my support now. Lucky with strong family support. But now little things may trigger the thought, dont know it will take how long to reduce. since we can't avoid, we have to be strong and face it. Takes time but I m sure we can do it!
 

ecym

Well-Known Member
Dear All,

I’m so glad to find this support group. Came across this group while I was surfing to find more information on MTPT.

Wanted to share my story and give support to the rest of ladies whom are undergoing the same situation as us in the forum. This really gave me a lot support, knowing I’m not alone and gave me strength.

My baby girl was born on 6th June 2016 thr induced labour and my husband is not able to company me through the process as he is undergoing cancer treatment. Though we were very certain to proceed with MTPT once doc diagnosed our baby has DS (we decided that its unfair to her if she’s born unhealthy), but it has not been easy since the day I received the news. Took us a year to have this baby and now due to his treatment we cant try for baby anytime soon.

I thought I’m prepared and will be alright after the procedure. I did felt relief (felt so guilty as well), but the emotional sadness kicked in when I’m home, I cried myself to sleep and woke up early in the morning, or in the middle of the day missing my baby. Its been really tough and I think I’m not ready to meet friends who are pregnant or with kids for the time being. Things made worse that 2 of my cousins wives and my friend are pregnant, all giving birth around my EDD.

I been praying my baby will be reborn healthily to another family and will be loved and doted by her new parents.

2016 has not been great to us so far, but staying positive brings me this far. And I believe I will be stronger after this episode and all the mummies out there u will be stronger too! Jia you! We can do it!
hugs...sorry about your loss...

hope your hubby gets well soon...
 

ltzjess3

New Member
It has been almost 6 months after my loss of my girl, I was suppose to have her cuddle in my arms this week. The unseen heart pain and grieves at times is unbearable which no words can describe or expressed. At times, I will have flash back thoughts of my girl when I looked up the sky . This is my only channel of able I express my thoughts freely.
 

diddledum

Member
It has been almost 6 months after my loss of my girl, I was suppose to have her cuddle in my arms this week. The unseen heart pain and grieves at times is unbearable which no words can describe or expressed. At times, I will have flash back thoughts of my girl when I looked up the sky . This is my only channel of able I express my thoughts freely.
Itzjess, I totally feel you. No matter how early the loss was, the pain is real and we will never be able to forget it. I pray for my unborn baby everyday yet I ask myself everyday why did my baby choose me and yet leave me. You're not alone. I hope you have a supportive husband and family that will make the pain a little more bearable.
 

sheery

New Member
Hi, i like to seek advice on any one claim back babies for cremention?

After which the ashes are returned to us parents, where do you put them?

I lost my twins due to blood infection and preterm labour. Couldnt bear to let them be handle by hospital and claim them back for cremention

Appreciate if anyone can advise me? My husband is catholic and im taoist/buddhist
 
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jube13

New Member
Sorry to hear of your loss.

I had a mid term miscarriage about a month ago and I cremated my baby after claiming her from the hospital. My husband and I collected her ashes from Mandai crematorium a day later and scattered her ashes into the open sea. My husband and I are both Christian and we said a very simple prayer for her at the cremation and also at the time when we scattered her ashes. We are v glad that we claimed her back from the hospital and gave her a proper cremation because that gives us a proper closure. We decided not to keep her ashes in an urn to be put at home or to put in a niche at Mandai because we want to let her go and we want to move on too. Though her ashes have been scattered and she is not here with us physically, she is not far from our thoughts everyday and we believe that one day we will see her again in Heaven.

Just sharing with you what I did but ultimately you and your husband have to be comfortable with what is best for yourselves.
 

sheery

New Member
Hi jube13,

Thanks for the reply. My husband is of the opinion to scatter our twins ashes into the open sea as well although I had wanted to place in Mandai niche.

I had a perfectly good detailed scan on 12th July & both babies heartbeat were fine. Same night while visiting the toilet to pee at 2am I felt what was like a balloon of water bursting & some leaking. There was not much pain except when the gush of liquid came. Next morning, I felt fine & went to work. There was no more leaking & instead lotsa vaginal discharge. Started to have chills & by noon developed fever & felt tired. Went home to sleep it off & went A&E same night when fever and chills worsen.

At A&E, the scan still shows strong heartbeats for both twins, a swap also indicates that there is no amino fluid present. Admitted for suspected infection, next morning when rescan, one of my twin heartbeat was gone just like that.

My fever continues to escalate with chills, doc wanted to abort the living twin as he was worried I get organ failure or possible death but I rejected & decided to monitor further. 15th July past midnight became a nightmare, had early labor & both twins are born one after another within hours, there was nothing I could do to stop the contractions after which a womb evacuation was done to clear the infection.

Ironically, after my twins were born, I recovered & there was no more fever or chills.

It was devasting for us when we look & carry our twins for r the first n last time. We opt to collect our sons bodies & crement them by engaging a undertaker. Their ashes are with us now & we have not decided how to handle, either scatter to the sea or put in the niche.

Hubby is Catholic & will conduct some ritual mass for twins. I read in this forum that there were ritual done in Buddhist temple at geylang called Jung Shan ship or Ching Shan shi for the deceased babies, however I could not locate this temple, anybody can give me the temple address or telephone or correct name? Thanks
 

LadyP

Member
Hi all, for those of you who did a D&C/ D&E for your mid-term loss, may I ask how long did you bleed afterwards? For my first loss, I had many fibroids so my bleeding was terrible with clots and lasted almost two months. This time, I have much less bleeding but it stops and then comes back again (though not heavy and the colour is brown-red or a light pink). It has been about a month since I did my D&E. I'm sick of wearing pads every day and i don't dare to walk or do much as activity seems to bring on bleeding again. :( Thank you for sharing.
 

amituofo

New Member
Hi all mothers:
I can feel your loss. I just lost my baby at 15th week of pregnancy. I am a first time father, so the pain of loss was excruciating.
Fortunately both my wife and I anchored our journey on Buddhism. We managed to guide our baby to Amituofo's Pureland. The loss of our baby does not mean that we have ended the parent-child relationship. We have only lost our baby physically. The relationship continues.

Here is the story I have shared with my fellow Buddhist practitioners. Hope my story can offer you hope and strength to cope with the loss.

The story is at http://purelanders.com/2016/07/27/how-we-guided-our-baby-to-amituofos-pure-land/
 

venussnow

Member
i can feel what the mums and dads are feeling here. I went for my 12th week ultrasound for DS yesterday and it turned out to be the most devastating day of my life when the sonographers had that worried look on their faces although I see my LO kicking and bouncing in the womb. A dreadful feeling came over me when they kept telling me that my LO has Acrania and that her upper skull is not formed. There is no other choice that I can take as the mortality rate for this condition is 100% and I could lose my LO any time even if o were to put off termination. It has been really hard especially facing my 3 and a half yr old who has been looking forward to the arrival of a younger sibling
 
i can feel what the mums and dads are feeling here. I went for my 12th week ultrasound for DS yesterday and it turned out to be the most devastating day of my life when the sonographers had that worried look on their faces although I see my LO kicking and bouncing in the womb. A dreadful feeling came over me when they kept telling me that my LO has Acrania and that her upper skull is not formed. There is no other choice that I can take as the mortality rate for this condition is 100% and I could lose my LO any time even if o were to put off termination. It has been really hard especially facing my 3 and a half yr old who has been looking forward to the arrival of a younger sibling
I am really sorry to even comprehend what you are going through, an alive fetus in your tummy but yet you have to abort it due to birth defects. However, in order to be sure, maybe you should seek a second opinion; coz one of the ladies I knew in this SingaporeMotherhood Forum, when she went for the first scan at around your time, also was told that her fetus got birth defects; however, when seen by another gynae. the birth defects shown on the scan was only 1%; and so she chose to keep the baby. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy a few months later. So I think that for your case, better be safe than to be sorry.

Just my 2 cents.
 

venussnow

Member
I am really sorry to even comprehend what you are going through, an alive fetus in your tummy but yet you have to abort it due to birth defects. However, in order to be sure, maybe you should seek a second opinion; coz one of the ladies I knew in this SingaporeMotherhood Forum, when she went for the first scan at around your time, also was told that her fetus got birth defects; however, when seen by another gynae. the birth defects shown on the scan was only 1%; and so she chose to keep the baby. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy a few months later. So I think that for your case, better be safe than to be sorry.

Just my 2 cents.
I had 2 different sonographers doing the ultrasound the same day and both had the same image of my LO with no full formation of the upper skull. I also made it a point to see my gynae the same afternoon to get his opinion instead of just talking to the doctor at the antenatal diagnostic clinic and both gave me the same opinion that the chances of survival is 0. I just hope my decision would relieve my LO from any further suffering. It is hard to let go but the thought of my LO suffering is worse
 
I had 2 different sonographers doing the ultrasound the same day and both had the same image of my LO with no full formation of the upper skull. I also made it a point to see my gynae the same afternoon to get his opinion instead of just talking to the doctor at the antenatal diagnostic clinic and both gave me the same opinion that the chances of survival is 0. I just hope my decision would relieve my LO from any further suffering. It is hard to let go but the thought of my LO suffering is worse
I see. Okay, if that is the case, and the diagnosis is almost definite, I think that there is really no choice for you except to abort the baby, as you don't want to have to care for a child with birth defects for the rest of your life.
 

winleobee

Member
If i didn't misread venussnow, given the professional views from both doctor & sonographers, the chances of survival for her baby is zero, not that she don't want to care for a child with birth defects for the rest of her life.
 

perfectmoment78

New Member
Its coming to 8 years since I lost my baby boy due to MTTP. Even tough I am blessed with 4 kids now, I still miss my boy badly. If the time can turn back, I definitely will make a different decision, I will continue with the pregnancy even though his chance of survival is low or he might be born with some abnormalities. I will love him more just like his other siblings...

To those mothers who are struggling with the hard decision to make, please think twice before going through MTTP. I believe no religion will support MTTP, it's a life that we are dealing with.

I suffer from a lifelong guilt due to my stupidity and selfishness, and I hope other mother won't make the same mistake as I did. Think twice before you make the hard decision.
 

dancing

Member
Hi mummies, just needed to share in this thread. Though the last posting was sometime back, but reading this thread has helped me A LOT in preparing for my induced labour of my mid term pregnancy loss. I think Mid Term Loss is so rare (1-2%) and so little is understood by anyone. A lot of helpful friends who had MC would msg to say they understand what I am going through, but I think it's true to some extent, but yet I don't think it's the same.

Mine was a case of a glowing 12 week FA scan, followed by a 16week scan with no heartbeat. I was admitted yesterday to induced labour and thankfully only needed 1 cycle of 5x pill insertion. Baby was delivered after 11 hours, but no sign of placenta even after another agonizing hour where the pain relief wasn't doing much to help. Went into OT for D&E to get placenta out and all in everything took about 15 hours.

We had a funeral service for the baby the next day and tomorrow will be going to Mandai for cremation. Wrote a poem for baby, read the forums the whole night, cried and prayed. Held and kissed his fragile little body. I believe he was a blessing and though brief, I am thankful I carried him for 4 months. I am looking forward to the day we meet in heaven.

Cancelled my booking with confinement lady, but have ordered confinement tingkat for 14 days and will do some sort of a self confinement I guess. So it's Day 1 after it has happened and I am praying that with God's help I will get better.
 
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zhenzhen86

New Member
Not sure if anybody heard of abnormal cardiac outflow tract.

Baby will require a heart surgery when birth.

Anybody with the similar situation, can advise me?



The child will need to have special care since birth, I not sure whether I can do.

Now, I have to make a decision.
 

leighstar

Member
I felt that I am the most unluckiest mother. I just had a mid term termination last week @ 22weeks 4days. This is my 5th pregnancy and the 2nd time I had to do a termination.

I did Panorama extended tests n all results came back low risks. Baby boy's upper skull was not formed and was only detected during detailed scan @ 21weeks5days. My gynae was shocked too.

I am very upset for 3 days after the detailed scan. But after that, I just felt numb and emotionless, no more crying. Even when the kkh stuff did a scan to reaffirm baby having deformity, jabbing baby to stop his heartbeat and doing the procedure. I was very calm. I thought I had forgotten how to be upset.

Until last night I broke down because of a FB post from my excolleague describing herself as a whale @ 29weeks pregnant. My 4.5yo and 22mo tried to comfort me.

Only those who had gone thru a mid term termination could understand the anguish and pain. I hate those who tell me that it is a miscarriage, will get over it soon.
 

ApplePieTing

New Member
Hi ladies

Have been reading this thread for the past mth and wish to thank you all for "virtually accompanying" me with all your supportive words and advices through my difficult period.

My NIPT blood test showed that my baby girl tested positive for Trisomy. I also sought genetic tests and amnio with Dr Ananda. The amnio result showed that baby confirmed has T13. With a heavy heart, hb and i decided to terminate pregnancy at week 17 as baby will have many complications and unlikely to live beyond 1yo.

As my gynae was at GlenE, the cost of doing the procedure may be beyond our reach, we did the procedure at KKH instead at B2 ward. The nurses there are very nice and the first pill was inserted at 4.30pm, 2nd at around 8.30pm and 3rd at 1am. During this period i had very bad diahorrea and rushed to toilet about 12 times and was so afraid baby may slip out while i was in the toilet. The cramping pain was manageable but the diahorrea pain wasnt... as i cannot go toilet within 30mins of inserting pill ...

I was so afraid that i will have a very long labour as the maximum pill is 5 pills whereby if baby is still not out, have to start another cycle the next round.
However at 1.45am , i felt the unbearable urge to push and baby came out shortly after. My husband rushed down (no visitors as mine is 5 bedder) and we managed to say our goodbye to our baby girl and explained to her why we cannot keep her :'(

Thereafter, the nurses informed there should be no food and drinks until i am pushed to the Operating Theatre for Evacuation of Uterus. The whole process was quite quick (20mins) and relatively painless. I was discharged the very afternoon.

Although the process was a mentally & emotionally painful one, I am grateful for all the support i have. The nurses were attentive and patient, my husband and our families were also supportive and understanding.
After i do my mini-confinment, hope to have our first baby soon. Jiayou ladies who also experienced MidTerm loss. Lets be positive and i am sure we will have our rainbow babies soon!! <3<3<3
 
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roaring

New Member
Hi ladies

Have been reading this thread for the past mth and wish to thank you all for "virtually accompanying" me with all your supportive words and advices through my difficult period.

My NIPT blood test showed that my baby girl tested positive for Trisomy. I also sought genetic tests and amnio with Dr Ananda. The amnio result showed that baby confirmed has T13. With a heavy heart, hb and i decided to terminate pregnancy at week 17 as baby will have many complications and unlikely to live beyond 1yo.

As my gynae was at GlenE, the cost of doing the procedure may be beyond our reach, we did the procedure at KKH instead at B2 ward. The nurses there are very nice and the first pill was inserted at 4.30pm, 2nd at around 8.30pm and 3rd at 1am. During this period i had very bad diahorrea and rushed to toilet about 12 times and was so afraid baby may slip out while i was in the toilet. The cramping pain was manageable but the diahorrea pain wasnt... as i cannot go toilet within 30mins of inserting pill ...

I was so afraid that i will have a very long labour as the maximum pill is 5 pills whereby if baby is still not out, have to start another cycle the next round.
However at 1.45am , i felt the unbearable urge to push and baby came out shortly after. My husband rushed down (no visitors as mine is 5 bedder) and we managed to say our goodbye to our baby girl and explained to her why we cannot keep her :'(

Thereafter, the nurses informed there should be no food and drinks until i am pushed to the Operating Theatre for Evacuation of Uterus. The whole process was quite quick (20mins) and relatively painless. I was discharged the very afternoon.

Although the process was a mentally & emotionally painful one, I am grateful for all the support i have. The nurses were attentive and patient, my husband and our families were also supportive and understanding.
After i do my mini-confinment, hope to have our first baby soon. Jiayou ladies who also experienced MidTerm loss. Lets be positive and i am sure we will have our rainbow babies soon!! <3<3<3
Hi, went for my detailed scan at 20 weeks and noticed some defect in my child. May need MTTp and I'm worried about the process. Was it very painful? Did the painkillers help?
 

cherubean

New Member
I just completed 1 month confinement after MTPT procedure.

My husband and I have been trying for a child for 5 years. I've went from TCM doctors to TCM doctors. Then, when I found myself pregnant, we were so elated. But the happiness only lasted for a short while... shortly, I started having miscarriage symptoms- Bleeding and cramping. The symptoms were managed by many injections and Duphaston pills, which went on till I was 12 weeks pregnant.. a bomb dropped on us.

Through the detailed scan, the baby was found to have alobar holoprosencephaly- a rare severe deformity in the brain and facial features. Foetus with such abnormality are usually miscarried or still birth. Chances of survival are rare and usually a few days from birth only.

My gynae was taken aback as she has never seen anything like it. We were referred to SGH for further investigations. The fetal specialist at SGH confirmed the findings through the scan. The CVS chromosome report showed the baby has T13.

I felt as if my world has came crushing down.

At 14 weeks, I went for MTPT procedure. I bled heavily by the 4 pill. At the 5pill, my cervix finally dilated but did not go into labour. Thankfully, my SGH doc was very experienced and instead of going by the normal cycle route and ending the cycle, he continued to insert the 6th pill. By the 6th pill, I finally went into labour.

During confinement, I grieved the loss of my baby and it wasn't easy as I found a friend pregnant and has similar due date as mine. I have felt better after the period of grieving but wouldn't say I have completely gotten over, as only time will heal.

Now I just want to occupy myself to go back to the workforce and get my health back again. Hopefully with that, it means any rainbow baby will come to heal us.
 

cherubean

New Member
Hi, went for my detailed scan at 20 weeks and noticed some defect in my child. May need MTTp and I'm worried about the process. Was it very painful? Did the painkillers help?
Hi Roaring, the pain is manageable at first and will become more intense as you go closer into labour. The painkillers would help lessen the pain abit.
 

roaring

New Member
Hi Roaring, the pain is manageable at first and will become more intense as you go closer into labour. The painkillers would help lessen the pain abit.
Thanks. I did the MTPT last TUesday. I try to think positively by looking ahead.. but often my thoughts would linger back to the baby I delivered last week. I think it wi be harder when I go back to work in 2 weeks time. can anyone share how you coped going back to work? Many of my colleagues still do not know and thought I was simply on extended mc.
 

Corals

Member
Thanks. I did the MTPT last TUesday. I try to think positively by looking ahead.. but often my thoughts would linger back to the baby I delivered last week. I think it wi be harder when I go back to work in 2 weeks time. can anyone share how you coped going back to work? Many of my colleagues still do not know and thought I was simply on extended mc.
Hi Roaring, sorry to hear about your lost. I had MTPT 1.5 yrs ago when my baby was 25 weeks old. after the procedure my mum told me not to get too upset as it will affect my health. i couldn't help that my tears just fall whenever i think of him. i feel guilty even when i have a meal, i blame myself for not being extra careful with the pregnancy.

2 weeks leave may be too short of a timeframe for you to recuperate. i suggest that you do a full term confinement if possible? HR actually gave me maternity leave. i took 1.5 mths ML.

When you are mentally ready then return to work. You will need time to recover from the lost, both emotionally and physically. Some colleagues were concerned and some thought i had given birth and returning to work. I won't comment much, as there is no reason to explain. The more you talk abt it, you will just breakdown.

Hugs. our fairy babies will always be in our heart.
 

roaring

New Member
Hi Roaring, sorry to hear about your lost. I had MTPT 1.5 yrs ago when my baby was 25 weeks old. after the procedure my mum told me not to get too upset as it will affect my health. i couldn't help that my tears just fall whenever i think of him. i feel guilty even when i have a meal, i blame myself for not being extra careful with the pregnancy.

2 weeks leave may be too short of a timeframe for you to recuperate. i suggest that you do a full term confinement if possible? HR actually gave me maternity leave. i took 1.5 mths ML.

When you are mentally ready then return to work. You will need time to recover from the lost, both emotionally and physically. Some colleagues were concerned and some thought i had given birth and returning to work. I won't comment much, as there is no reason to explain. The more you talk abt it, you will just breakdown.

Hugs. our fairy babies will always be in our heart.
My mom said the same. And yes, I find myself tearing at the slight thought of him. Nowadays my eyes gloss over picture of newborns or expecting moms when I look at Instagram. I haven't surfed fb for a few days now cos I know a friend of mine just delivered 2 days ago. Actually.. this is the only place that I can say what I'm feeling cos I can't talk about this to anyone without tearing.

You are lucky that your hr gave you maternity leave. I think I have to consider this as HL.. I plan to ask my doc for 1 more week of HL when I go for my review next week. Although I'm thinking of how to ask for additional week from ththe doc...
 

cherubean

New Member
Thanks. I did the MTPT last TUesday. I try to think positively by looking ahead.. but often my thoughts would linger back to the baby I delivered last week. I think it wi be harder when I go back to work in 2 weeks time. can anyone share how you coped going back to work? Many of my colleagues still do not know and thought I was simply on extended mc.
I'm sorry to hear about your MTPT. I agree with Coral that you should take a longer break. The hospital gave me 1 month MC. Usually hospitals do give a longer leave when it's a procedure that involves hospital stays. A friend of mine requested for 6 weeks HL when she removed a fibroid. I believe the hospital would be able to give you a longer MC when you request for it.

I'm working with male colleagues. They respect and gave me space when I didn't explain my absence. You don't need to share with anyone whom you're not comfortable with. But do surround yourself with supportive people as it will help you through this journey.
 

chocoholic74

New Member
If til date, you still don't know what is wrong with your baby girl, are you sure you want to go ahead this Saturday?
You are not racing against time so why don't you go and seek another professional opinion? Reading your post on your gynae, it seems like he is not clear what is going on too. Humans can make mistake and you need to be certain of your baby's prognosis before going ahead. This is your own flesh and blood and you have to be sure you will have absolutely no regrets about this.
 


littlemonkies

Well-Known Member
These few weeks has been really tormenting for me and my husband. Since I knew I was pregnant, I was very very happy. Then during my 15 weeks prenancy, i was given the option to go for the Oscar test during my 16 weeks. But nightmare begin for me ever since I knew my results for the Oscar test. I was told my risk for having a down syndrome baby is 1:28. I am 31 yrs old and my husband is 30. My first child is now 3 yrs old and we have no past family history of DS ( down syndrome)and we also do not have any medical history of blood pressure, diabetes etc etc. So,it was really shocking when I was told my risk of having DS is 1:28!! I cried and cried. Then my doc asked me go for Amniocentesis . i opted for the express results as I was really really anxious. 2 days after amnio, my nightmare was confirm. I had a DS baby boy. I really break down. So, i waited for anther 2 weeks for the final and detailed results...again it is the same. I really feel heart broken. I really wanted this child. Be it boy or girl...as long as is healthy...everyday i cry. So my gynae asked me to consider my choice...either keep or abort. Finally decision was to abort. I went to TMC on 23rd Aug and was given vaginal passary till full dilation and my precious baby was delivered at ard 9pm plus. He looks so peaceful and he looks so adorable to me. It really break my heart to see him pass away just like this but I really cannot cope with a DS child. I am really sorry, my poor boy. Mummy really wanted to love you. All i can say is sorry.Now i really have no heart to conceive again cos I am really scared to have a DS baby again. I feel very guilt and depressed. So i hope to find some support over here. Thanks for listening to me , people.
My dear, I'm so very sorry to hear about your traumatic ordeal. A couple who looks forward to pregnancy gets so happy when they see the positive results, and they start dreaming of the day when the baby will join their family. To have the results crashing down on you like this is so difficult to bear. It's horrendous to have to decide to terminate your child's life.

I am not in the business of judging whether what you did was right or wrong, and I just want to share with you what happened in my own family.

My cousin was born with DS. My cousin is a blessing and we all love her to bits. She has a simplicity about her, and an innocent way of looking at life that just encourages you to turn away from your problems and look at the big picture.

But, on the other hand, my aunty has been worried sick all her life. Since young, I remember seeing my aunty stressed about everything. Their family is not well off, so she had to take on 2-3 jobs at one time to keep the family going and to meet my cousin's medical bills. DS is not so simple. They may also come with other problems such as ear and sight damage - like my cousin. The cost of sending her for reviews, and to fix up external hearing and seeing aids are tremendous costs for a normal family. My aunty had to work so hard to keep the family afloat, and now, in her twilight days, she is constantly worried about what would happen to my cousin once she passes away. Who will take care of her, how will she manage her life?

The years of spending money on medical expenses resulted in a thin coffer. But even if they had money, how would she manage the expenses when she can't even handle finances? And I'm talking about just giving money in return for a bowl of soup - she can't even manage that. Of course, what I'm talking about may be a very bad case, and caused by an era when support for such children were barebones. But the same issues prevail. The parents will always be worried sick about the future of the kid, particularly in a future without them.

There is the possibility that the other children of the family may be neglected while the parents, perhaps out of guilt, obsess over the wellbeing of the DS child. This happened in my aunty's family, where the elder child then turned against the family for failing to give her any attention after her sister came along.

My aunty's case is a sad one, and perhaps, an extreme one because of the severity of my cousin's condition. But I just want you to know that before anyone can throw stones at you, indeed, before you throw stones at yourself, remember that only you know what's best for your family. Take heart, take care of yourself, and prepare yourself for your next try. All shall be well.
 

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