Some sacrifices are meant to be made

bbabyblue

bbabyblue

Active Member
Regardless is it full time working mum or SAHM, we all have made sacrifices, e.g. looks, change in our body, 'me' time, etc..
When married, it will be lovers' world, with movie, dinner dates, holidays, etc.. but when children come along everything changes.
Sometimes, I miss the couple time and 'me' time. I ever asked my husband what will life be if we dont have children. Will we be happy with just us? His answer is having children made marriage life complete. If no children, marriage life will be boring just like plain water. Mummies out there, what are your thoughts
 

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not really... before married, i seldom go out, movies and dinner dates because i always lazy to go out... vacation is every 2 to 3 months though...
after having children (i guess coz i EDD next yr), i think not much difference because i still lazy to go out and will stay at home most of the time... vacation maybe need to cut once a year...

lauren-change-is-hard.jpg


now we grew up, my parents have people to accompany them to go overseas. plan for their trips. more people the merrier. when my babies come out & grew up, we will have bigger tour group :)
 
lolz .. same before kids or married ... lazy to go out but go overseas at least once every 1- 2 months lolz now also lazy to go out my self but will force mysel to bring kids out ..well they need childhood outside the house not inside ...overseas cut down to at least 2 x per year
 
bbabyblue said:
Regardless is it full time working mum or SAHM, we all have made sacrifices, e.g. looks, change in our body, 'me' time, etc..
When married, it will be lovers' world, with movie, dinner dates, holidays, etc.. but when children come along everything changes.
Sometimes, I miss the couple time and 'me' time. I ever asked my husband what will life be if we dont have children. Will we be happy with just us? His answer is having children made marriage life complete. If no children, marriage life will be boring just like plain water. Mummies out there, what are your thoughts
Click to expand...

i do miss the couple time.
but rarely.
maybe cuz my boy is still just a toddler. seeing the bubbly him is enough to make my day.
 
Actually depend on both parties, life still can be normal as before having kids. Me and hubby will try to spend time together as when we both are available for each other. But of coz at times will still miss those days when we are still young.
 
Sometimes I will miss having me time, like massage, etc... not having to think about time and having to rush back home...
If only me and my husband, we will go for holiday like 3-4 times a year. Best is no pil conflict when u get to see them only once or twice a week only :D
 
Dear bbabyblue, totally feel like you feel. I also travel very often before child came. Miss those moment when had luxury hotel bfast without rush, massage on the weekend, hang out with friends until late, movie. Now only me , husband, baby, and helper. No pil, no relative who can help me look after my son if we wanna have dating time. Leave my son only with helper never came in my mind so far. I always talk to myself it will pass, when my son teenager he will go out with his friends and my life will back to normal. Now just enjoy this phase hehehe..
 
Used to have 1 long trip and 3 short trips yearly. Now totally zero. The Thot of packing like going for army camp kind of put off the idea of traveling. Never really have a full 8-hr sleep ever since my boy came. Seldom eat outside and even if we do, it will be some nearby family friendly restaurant which food sucks. Weekends are mostly indoor playground, zoo/RS/GBTB or whatever outdoor activities which will enhance the kids' learning experience. Shopping will usually end up in Toyrus stores. However we still have couple time every fri from 6-10pm. A ruling that my hubby insisted when we have our first child. Having said that, My kids are still the best gifts in my life :)
 
Last time spending money, mindset will be me. Now spending money will be focusing on family, before buying will be thinking is it a need or want.
When dating, my husband (then bf) insist on not having kids as he is afraid of sacrificing things that he is currently enjoying but now he is enjoying his parenthood. My parents always tell me after married must have kids, if don't have kids you will regret when you are old. I looked at my frens and wondering will they regret not having kids after married. Maybe now too early to say, but maybe 20 years down the road when they reach the age of 50 or 60 plus will they be asking, if only....
 
bbabyblue said:
Regardless is it full time working mum or SAHM, we all have made sacrifices, e.g. looks, change in our body, 'me' time, etc..
When married, it will be lovers' world, with movie, dinner dates, holidays, etc.. but when children come along everything changes.
Sometimes, I miss the couple time and 'me' time. I ever asked my husband what will life be if we dont have children. Will we be happy with just us? His answer is having children made marriage life complete. If no children, marriage life will be boring just like plain water. Mummies out there, what are your thoughts
Click to expand...

I've been childless for 6.5 years and finally after years of trying and IVF, managed to get pregnant. I can say that I'd rather have a child in the first year of marriage. It's so painful to have to wait and keep trying. It's painful when you see ppl out there holding their children and having outings with their children. Sure, being childless means you have lots of time and you can travel etc, but honestly, I'd rather have a child to hold. I have many friends who looked at me and hubby with envy and said that date nights are rare for them. But if only they know how often we wish we have a little one to bring on date nights. If only they know the sleepless nights I have, wondering if I'll be all alone if my husband pass on one day.

I still have many friends who are desperately trying to have children for many years and I constantly remind myself, how lucky I am, to be pregnant.

But again, the grass is always greener on the other side.
 
for me, i never really have couple time except we went for vacation. i was living alone with 2 dogs before my partner comes along... after living together, my toy poodle always very jealously. will squeeze between both of us. if we are kissing, she will also want to join in the kissing...

once we have early flight so we left our dogs at my parents' hse the evening before. end up we find the house too quiet and something is missing.

so i guess once my babies arrived, i guess would be not much impact on the couple time as both of us need to take care of the babies.. LOL~

then again, i'm the lucky one. my parents and PIL already volunteer to help out as and when we need. when we go for holiday, they do not mind to take care of them. my partner also insists that we must go for vacation at least once a year so that we can spend time alone without kids :)
 
When women have children, priority will always go to the children. Whereas men will always prioritize themselves first very few men will think about family first.
When it comes to family/ friends gathering, sometimes those who are married with no kids will not care or even bother to think for those with children. E.g., time, location, will it be kid's friendly place. Ended up, we're either being told off for being late or being shown black face by others.
 
i'm still thinking if i want to try for a 2016/2017 baby.. i got married 1 yr ago and enjoying couplehood. the main reason why my husband and i are still thinking is because we are afraid of losing our freedom.. i know we sound selfish but it's too real a reason to ignore.. we love traveling and when we see our friends who are unable to travel because of their children, we are afraid..
 
@dloreangel, its ok to think of it as you have just gotten married. But don't wait too long to start a family.
I will always tell people, its either you enjoy now or enjoy later. Enjoy now- enjoy being in lovers' world, etc.. but when have kids at later age come suffer abit cos one might not have the energy to keep up with the children's path even though is financially stable. Enjoy later- start family early and when kids grew up you won't be financially tied up.
Most important, don't have this mindset that having children is a burden.
 
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