SAHM

[Rayraykwa]

Any mummies here feel that you have lost your worth after being a SAHM, especially being fully dependent on your spouse financially. I do not know how to get over this.

 

[Cindy Tay]

What happened? Care to elaborate?
Am a SAHM as well, but I don't feel I lost my worth though.
Financial wise I didn't contribute to the family. But still I contribute my time etc into the family.

 

[carolinecarrie]

Hi Rayraykwa,

I've been a SAHM for 10 years. The first few years, I felt OK being a SAHM. After that however, I started to feel I have indeed lost my worth. Many of my contemporaries are advancing in their careers, while I feel stuck. Plus as my child is older now and is school for more hours, life as a SAHM is boring as hell.

 

[Cindy Tay]

I feel that no one really appreciates things we do, it meant be simple but mentally wise i feel that it is so much more stressful then working. I notice that we get into more arguments after being a SAHM, maybe i'm sensitive or what idk. Sigh but indeed driving me crazy.

You mean your hubby doesn't appreciate things you do? What he did/said that makes you feel that?
Well, argument sure bound to have. Sometimes I do get arguments with hubby from time to time as well.
Do find yourself some hobbies, or do things you like/want to do. Otherwise, go out with friends or find another to chat with.
You need relax yourself as well, or you may sink into depression...

 

[carolinecarrie]

I think being a SAHM is not for everyone. If you are someone who values financial independence and/or needs a lot of social interaction, being a SAHM will be very tough mentally and emotionally.

 

[Cindy Tay]

Hi Rayraykwa,

I've been a SAHM for 10 years. The first few years, I felt OK being a SAHM. After that however, I started to feel I have indeed lost my worth. Many of my contemporaries are advancing in their careers, while I feel stuck. Plus as my child is older now and is school for more hours, life as a SAHM is boring as hell.

Same advice to Rayraykwa. Find some hobbies, or go out with friends.
Understand your feeling too as I've been a SAHM for 7 years+ and am already got bored last few years.
Which is why I still try to keep contact with friends, or meet them when possible.. Need time for family, but need time for ourself as well

 

[Cindy Tay]

I think being a SAHM is not for everyone. If you are someone who values financial independence and/or needs a lot of social interaction, being a SAHM will be very tough mentally and emotionally.

True. But well again, even with little/less social interaction, one may get bored being a SAHM for a long time.

 

[carolinecarrie]

Thanks for your suggestions Cindy! I find I have way more time for myself these days...much more than I would like! I'm looking out for a part-time job, but meaningful part-time work is few and far between. Not keen on MLMs or network marketing.

 

[Cindy Tay]

Thanks for your suggestions Cindy! I find I have way more time for myself these days...much more than I would like! I'm looking out for a part-time job, but meaningful part-time is few and far between.

Yes. Finding a part time job can be a good idea also. Otherwise, do some hobbies, or even go out with friends.

 

[HuayWen]

Any mummies here feel that you have lost your worth after being a SAHM, especially being fully dependent on your spouse financially. I do not know how to get over this.

I am a SAHM....A lot of problems at home since I resigned from the teaching service to look after my girls who are taking their PSLE this year.

 

[HuayWen]

Is there a SAHM thread here?

 

[yanyanwee]

You mean your hubby doesn't appreciate things you do? What he did/said that makes you feel that?
Well, argument sure bound to have. Sometimes I do get arguments with hubby from time to time as well.
Do find yourself some hobbies, or do things you like/want to do. Otherwise, go out with friends or find another to chat with.
You need relax yourself as well, or you may sink into depression...

.

 

[Cindy Tay]

Is there a SAHM thread here?

Think there's a SAHM thread out there

Thanks for your suggestions Cindy! I find I have way more time for myself these days...much more than I would like! I'm looking out for a part-time job, but meaningful part-time work is few and far between. Not keen on MLMs or network marketing.

??

Yes he does not appreciate. Whenever I said that I’m tired he will definitely reply me that I no need to work still tired. Really sick of explaining how mentally drain it is everyday to him because I know he will not empathise. Timing to meet friends is so limited. Weekdays are almost impossible as they are all working

That's very common for a hubby to say that... My hubby used to say that too.
One day I was so pissed, and throw him to take care of the kids for 2 days and went for a short trip myself to relax/unwind...
Thereafter, he know that is mentally/physically tired to take care of kids... And he no longer 'complian'

Yes. Quite difficult to meet friends out. But well, there's other SAHM out there too. Sometimes can just go shop alone too. It can be enjoying as well. The main focus is not about socialising or what, but to relax ourself. So even if sometimes alone, still fine

 

[Cindy Tay]

But do you all depend on spouse financially? I feel that he knows it’s my weakness too so he’s getting bossier.

Hm. For myself, I do get some allowance from my hubby monthly though. Mainly for marketing/kids stuff.
Luckily is that I do have some savings in the past.. So using my own savings to buy stuff I want lo