Please help advise 31 yo son

alicechua58

New Member
Hi, I am alice in my 60s so English no good hope u dont mind.

I have 2 sons... elder 31, other 28.

28 yo son is ok but 31 not ok.

my 31 yo son after serve army go university study... but study to 3 year he drop out becos he say he got bully and cannot take stress. he has mild autisum. since drop out he never go out always at home. that time me and hasband worry but think just leave he alone to take time be better. but he never...

he try take driving lesson but drop out cos cannot handle stress also like study. then he more sad and never leave house. sometime never bath also for 1 week. we try help but he always in room dont want leave.

friends tell me take him see doctor but that time i dont want because see doctor eat medicine like crazy person. so we dont want. we always pray hope he be ok but now this circuit breaker i think of it again and find out he already 31 year old this year and i worry more. people 31 year old got job, have kid, have family but my son no.

he every month take $300 from me and hasband... $200 from 28 yo other son. but now circuit breaker we no money becos no working so i dont want give him this month but he angry so we use own money give.

i every cry but he no improve. always in room. he now buy those cartoon pillow and play games and read comic.

3 week ago i come up with point system for him. if he clean room he earn 15 point , if he sweep floor 5 point... but he angry kick fridge and throw temper. since that day to today he never bath & always in room no want come out.

please help what i can do for my 31 yo son?
 

Honestly u need to give an ultimatum to find a job or move out and find a way to survive himself. How long can others support him?

If he is able to play games and so on, meaning he can navigate through devices and should be able to do at least some basic job. Problem is perhaps he was too pampered and got things easily. Just throw a fit and parents give in, may result in him never changing.

Perhaps ask him to move out and find a way to survive on himself. Ultimately the parents need to be the bad cop here for the sake of the son improving. Stop his allowance and let him find a way to earn money
 

toblerone

Well-Known Member
Hi, I am alice in my 60s so English no good hope u dont mind.

I have 2 sons... elder 31, other 28.

28 yo son is ok but 31 not ok.

my 31 yo son after serve army go university study... but study to 3 year he drop out becos he say he got bully and cannot take stress. he has mild autisum. since drop out he never go out always at home. that time me and hasband worry but think just leave he alone to take time be better. but he never...

he try take driving lesson but drop out cos cannot handle stress also like study. then he more sad and never leave house. sometime never bath also for 1 week. we try help but he always in room dont want leave.

friends tell me take him see doctor but that time i dont want because see doctor eat medicine like crazy person. so we dont want. we always pray hope he be ok but now this circuit breaker i think of it again and find out he already 31 year old this year and i worry more. people 31 year old got job, have kid, have family but my son no.

he every month take $300 from me and hasband... $200 from 28 yo other son. but now circuit breaker we no money becos no working so i dont want give him this month but he angry so we use own money give.

i every cry but he no improve. always in room. he now buy those cartoon pillow and play games and read comic.

3 week ago i come up with point system for him. if he clean room he earn 15 point , if he sweep floor 5 point... but he angry kick fridge and throw temper. since that day to today he never bath & always in room no want come out.
Aunty Alice,

1. 已经服役,31岁。肯定是Autisum吗?会不会是ADHD呢?
2. 这种points & rewards 看可能对他没啥作用。
3. 您不能一直给他钱的!害惨他就有。
4. 吃药后,会躁狂嘛... 药物不适合他。

老师用民俗命理给您解释,可能您不信。
1. 八字没文昌星照,得等十年大运。要是命理当中有文昌/学堂,读书很辛苦,学习没成就。所以,大学第三年就drop out, 驾车也没完成。
2. 您是否有怀孕掉过孩子或者流产吗?
 

alicechua58

New Member
Hi
thank for replys.

My 31 yo son very bad I have to use cane to dicipline him.

Today he tell me he 1 week no bath already. I scold him tell him bath he no want and hide in room lock door.

I tell him if he bath he get +100 point and can drink beer and yakult. After say this he only bath but drink 6 can beer and throw can all on floor and make room dirty.

My other son 28 yo just now nearly want fight him my hasband and me need stop.

I worry hes health too cos he too fat no exercise since army and every time drink beer or sweet drink.

i last time ask why he no go out find girlfriend he say hes girlfriend is japanese cartoon girl...

i dont know how help him
 

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