Childrens these days are hard to discipline. I admit at times i will lost control of my temper when she misbehaved and i will yell and say mean words to her. Yesterday it happened and she went to tell her daddy she will jump off the building if mummy scold her again. This is a shock to us because we never expect a 7 yrs old kid will have such thought! I'm a working mum with 2 kids without any help from maid or parents/ parents in-law to help us out in term of household chores or looking after the kids. It is very stressful and tiring balancing work and home. I'm deeply sadden by this incident and felt really lousy of myself. I truly wanted to be a good mother and I love my kids dearly. I wouldn't want anything to happen to my kids and regret my whole life thereafter. Any parents out there faced the same problem before, pse share your experience with me. I am at my wit ends.
My 7 yrs old gal said she will jump off the building if I scold her again.
- Thread starter nlesther
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hi Esther,
May i know how old your chidren are?
I am not a mother but i can somehow understand the stress and tiredness of being a full time working mother. Handling kids, house chores and work is not easy, especially you have no one to help. Please do not feel lousy about yourself.
Balancing life and work is never easy. Maybe you can consider to work part time? Beside you can have more time to manage your household and children, you can also have some private time for yourself.
All the best
May i know how old your chidren are?
I am not a mother but i can somehow understand the stress and tiredness of being a full time working mother. Handling kids, house chores and work is not easy, especially you have no one to help. Please do not feel lousy about yourself.
Balancing life and work is never easy. Maybe you can consider to work part time? Beside you can have more time to manage your household and children, you can also have some private time for yourself.
All the best
hi cua,
my gal is 7 yrs old and my younger one is 2...i'm always feeling tired and burnt out...ever thought of quiting or do part time but it will be very stressful for my husband to suppport the family alone with so much expenses to meet every mth...really appreciate your support.
my gal is 7 yrs old and my younger one is 2...i'm always feeling tired and burnt out...ever thought of quiting or do part time but it will be very stressful for my husband to suppport the family alone with so much expenses to meet every mth...really appreciate your support.
Hi Esther,
Dont feel bad about this. Maybe you can try talking to your daughter calmly about her remark. Instead of scolding her again for having such a thought, ask her how she really think about you, and if u hv been too harsh on her. Let her voice out her opinions. Nowadays kids r v rash, don't let this lead to something serious.
My girl still young. Personally don't hv such experience. However, as a daughter myself, I remembered I hv also said hurting remarks to my mom when we quarrelled during my younger days. Hv also stomped out of the house n stayed w a friend. I think the problem then was the lack of open and calm conversation w my mom.
Dont feel bad about this. Maybe you can try talking to your daughter calmly about her remark. Instead of scolding her again for having such a thought, ask her how she really think about you, and if u hv been too harsh on her. Let her voice out her opinions. Nowadays kids r v rash, don't let this lead to something serious.
My girl still young. Personally don't hv such experience. However, as a daughter myself, I remembered I hv also said hurting remarks to my mom when we quarrelled during my younger days. Hv also stomped out of the house n stayed w a friend. I think the problem then was the lack of open and calm conversation w my mom.
Hi Esther, bring yr gal out and talk to her alone, don bring along the small one. Have some personal time with her. My gal also 7 yrs old and boy 3 yrs old, sometimes gal also complain that i dot on the boy, neglect her, so, important to spend some time alone with her, talk to her. Nowadays kids not like last time, got to constanly tell her you love her, give her assurance, very demanding. My gals was so upset when i scolded her one day, and ask me if she was adopted.. omg... too much tv.. I was so angry and say ' ya, you are adopted, carried her back from the dustbin'.. haizz
Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. I have personally talked openly with her and also apology (though some ppl say the parents shld not apologies to their children)because i admitted losing control of my temper. I will still discipline her when she misbehave but perhaps this time round, i will try to talk to her firmly and calmly without screaming my lung out. And will constantly say i love her which i really do.
Sigh...its really hard to balance life, family and work...but will definately keep on trying. Tks all!
Sigh...its really hard to balance life, family and work...but will definately keep on trying. Tks all!
Hi styloBB,
Maid option is out because i heard too much story..wouldn't dare to leave the kids with maid without anyone oversees. It is really a blessing if you get a good and trustworthy one. Btw, i have already try to simplify my household chores, just do the must-do ones. I'm not asking alot already but it is simply not easy to balance work and family...somewhere down the line something needs to be sacrified to make the whole situation works.
Maid option is out because i heard too much story..wouldn't dare to leave the kids with maid without anyone oversees. It is really a blessing if you get a good and trustworthy one. Btw, i have already try to simplify my household chores, just do the must-do ones. I'm not asking alot already but it is simply not easy to balance work and family...somewhere down the line something needs to be sacrified to make the whole situation works.
Hi Esther, don worry too much. I also take care of 2 kids, bring them back from inlaws house after dinner, reach home got to check my gal's homework, and my boy's needs... tiring and tedious, hubby also got to help out, sometimes need to talk to gal alone, will ask hubby to bring the boy out. Parents face different challenge of different stage.. don stress yourself out.. many ppl share the same experience, if so many ppl can handle, so can you!!
I am a FTWM without parents', inlaw's or maid's help. Both my sons are looked after by a bb sitter. But I do not cook as I order tingkat dinner and I have a part-time helper to clean the house for me every weekend. Maybe u can try doing this, can cut down a lot of time spend doing household chores and cooking.
I think it will be good to tell your girl's form teacher about her outburst and see if she can see a counsellor. Better to take these things seioursly.
Jia you!
I think it will be good to tell your girl's form teacher about her outburst and see if she can see a counsellor. Better to take these things seioursly.
Jia you!
Hmm to let out a secret, I ever thought of jumping out of the window when my mom scolded me when I was young. I think she did not love me then and wanted to make her sad if I died or wondered if she wi even be sad if I died. Come to think of it, really stupid of me then.
Esther, will it help if you get someone your kid trusts (eg. a favourite relative or friend) to talk to her? Is she frustrated and can't voice out her thoughts? I know it helps to have a neutral/trusted 3rd party to talk sense or get some kind of reasoning out. Eg. go out together and have the person play with with her and find out more / mediate.
Meanwhile do keep the windows safely locked and see if you can include her in some activities together + praise her for her efforts.
Meanwhile do keep the windows safely locked and see if you can include her in some activities together + praise her for her efforts.
can understand trying hard to balance work and family. never easy esp when u have no other family/maid to support. my kid is oso 7 and i realise she becomes less ableto control her temper when she goes p1. suddenly realise she has growm up, no long the little sweet pie who listens to u. like yday i brought her to cut hair. back home, she went to d room to cry, said the aunty cut her hair very short like a boy, and frens in sch will laugh at her, blahblah. having other kids andhousework to handle, i find it hard to juz deal with her alone i said what i needed to say and let her reflect onit. its getting tricky to deal wif kids who start to have their own opinion....
sane
Active Member
Did she learn this fr the tv shows?
Perhaps u might like to explain to her the impact of hurting herself, show her newspaper clips and the impact on human body if fall off from a high level etc.
My gal as young as 6 already know how to throw tantrums, lock herself in the room and cry when we chided her for not doing her homework well.
Caning are no longer so effective so certain issues I will leave it to dad to correct the behaviours while I will cite examples from the books to explain to her on what's right and what's not.
Recently, she started to voice out n chided me for spending too much time on pc and wanted me to spend more time on her instead.
Schoolwise, I also communicate with the teachers on a weekly basis, it also helps that the form teacher will email me if my gal's not behaving in class and we have parents' meeting quite regularly.
Communication have to start early to install the right values as it will be only a few more years before they turn adolescents.
Perhaps u might like to explain to her the impact of hurting herself, show her newspaper clips and the impact on human body if fall off from a high level etc.
My gal as young as 6 already know how to throw tantrums, lock herself in the room and cry when we chided her for not doing her homework well.
Caning are no longer so effective so certain issues I will leave it to dad to correct the behaviours while I will cite examples from the books to explain to her on what's right and what's not.
Recently, she started to voice out n chided me for spending too much time on pc and wanted me to spend more time on her instead.
Schoolwise, I also communicate with the teachers on a weekly basis, it also helps that the form teacher will email me if my gal's not behaving in class and we have parents' meeting quite regularly.
Communication have to start early to install the right values as it will be only a few more years before they turn adolescents.
