IVF Mummies-To-Be Support Group

Just faith ur gal slept almost 12hrs! after she woke up for milk at 430am, did she continue to sleep or want to play?

Ever since i notice my gal slept longer hours at night instead of waking up every 2 hrs for milk, i thought it was a good idea to let her sleep at a fix time at night, this wld also help me time my midnight pump to her waking hrs in the middle of the night.

So i sort of let her know it's time to sleep by giving her face and neck a wipe, wipe her hands, change her to her sleeping clothes. on the night light, coz i want her follow my schedule, i thought i should be nice and comfort her to sleep, so that she would be happy to follow my time. i will carry her and hum the same tune to make her sleep. As this become a routine, lately i notice she would fuss around 8pm plus, once i wipe her face she would calm down, so i figured she is getting sleepy. last 2 nights she auto fall asleep. will observe if she continues to do so.
 


Gan, ya she slept for almost 12hrs. Crazy right? She had 120ml and went back to sleep. Guess she knows it's still in the early morning hrs. I try not to talk to her during those times. But I don't get 12hrs all the time la. Avg is 7 to 8hrs these days.

After reading yr post, I am wondering if I should drag her evening wipes to a later time so that she will go to sleep later n get up later.

Baby,

What time do you give your babies evening wipes?
 
Just faith when u give evening wipes, u wipe the whole body? i realise i am a dirty mummy, i didn't wipe my gal's body leh, coz i always think babies so young are clean since they are either in their cot, our bed or the rocker.
she only has a bath every morning at 8am plus.
 
Gan,
it's good to train yr gal to a routine. i did that for my elder girl and so now it's very easy. she knows roughly wat time to drink milk, sleep and wake up. sometimes if we're out late she will start to make noise want to go home already. when she started school this yr, it wasn't difficult to get her to wake up at the same time every morning.

my second girl unfortunately does not hv such a good routine cos i can only settle her once the elder one sleeps. so in the evenings she naps in the living room on her rocker until abt 11pm then i feed her and put her back in her cot. she wakes up very late in the mornings, abt 9plus 10am cos i do all the morning chores first before waking her up for her bath.
 
Hi girls,

Check with you... I read in the books that the milk intake should be abt 150ml x weight in kg. My boy is now about 5.6kg so milk intake should be about 840ml/day but he is nowhere near that. Now his average is only about 600ml (especially since he takes half his feed now and reject the bottle). Is it too little for him or are these just numbers and we shouldn't really look at the numbers? I am checking his weight... this week he still manage to increase the weight, so as long as that happens, should be fine?

Do you all still let your bbs wear mittens and socks? I still do cuz find their hands are always so cold. and their nails grow very fast!! But I also want to remove the mittens so that they can explore with their hands now... you girls already stop using mittens?
 
Grumpus, during the day,i didn't set a schedule for my gal yet. she determines what she wants. =S sometimes she can sleep whole afternoon, waking up only for milk, at times, she doesn't sleep at all.
this morning after her bath, she was awake and didn't want to nap after her milk, i have to put her on the rocker to entertain herself so that i can go wash and sterilise the bottles, pump. until she looks sleepy and rubs her eyes, i put her on our bed and lie next to her to make her sleep.

How do you train your gal to a routine during the day? i still feed on demand at this moment.
 
Gan
I wipe my girls whole body leh.. My hb always say i take such long time to wipe them haha.. Cos i enjoy the wiping session... I will take a basin of warm water.. Put a drop of avent bath gel... Then wipe their hands and legs.. Their face and hair.. Then will wipe their bottom cos whole day in diaper will urine stain so much clean properly so can prevent nappy rash and bbs will feel more comfortable..

Thou bbs are not dirty but they do sweat! So my bbs body feel sticky sticky.. And they will usually fuss before the wipe cos after wipe they look much happier hehe...

Just faith
My evening wipe usually abt 6plus after their milk... I notice they wont fuss during wipe after their milk.. I tried wiping them before their milk.. They will fuss alot..

Happy
I used to carry and rock my girl to sleep... I hate it.. So i want to wean them off.. I train them to sleep on their own.. Meaning they are still awake when i put them in their cot..
Its difficult at first.. But once they are used to it.. Putting them to sleep at night will be a breeze!
Yday night my small girl cry for more an hr non stop.. Not pacifiable at all... Then 8plus pm i give her milk.. Then aft burping i brought her to her rm.. Wrap her.. On aircon.. Off the lights.. No night lights too... Draw curtain down.. On music... The whole rm is super dark.. Then i leave the rm.. Im expecting her to cry for me cos her eyes still big big whrn i put her down.. She dont look sleepy at all.. But to my surprise she didnt! Then I check on her aft half an hr.. She is asleep! I guess she is used to the routine liao... Same goes for my elder girl.. They both sleep at the same time...

But during the day i still carry my small girl to sleep.. Abit tough to wean off.. But im ok with it.. Cos at least got chance to carry her haha...
 
Baby, I also wipe my gal after I gv her milk that is why I dun wipe her at a specific time.

Gan, no la! I don't clean her whole body. Actually she still smell nice when I give her evening wipes. I will clean her eyes. Then her face and neck (with cetaphil). I use towel to clean her fingers and put on new mittens. For below, I wipe down with warm water (using facial cottons). Change into mamy poko or nepia.

Working wife, yes, my gal still wearing mittens. But I let her wear socks these days, as she can't wear most of the booties anymore. Last time I complain booties too loose when she was new born. Now her feet has grown bigger!
 
baby...how long did ur gals take to learn to fall asleep on their own? during initial stage must hv cried alot?? u just leave them to cry???

now my 3 dont sleep at same time... n their patterns r different too... gal need pacifer..boys hv to pat pat n lie beside them until they sleep. i bu ren xin let them cry so hard..i m the kind hear bb cry will rush into their room... at night if in my room, i jump out of bed one....

gan.. i will wipe bb face, neck n hands plus wash backside w a separate basin of warm water. i dun just the avent wash for body wipes...just clear warm water.
 
working wife... mrs wong said dun wear mittens after 6 weeks...i gav up after 1 mth.. n cut bb nails regularly.

singapoh, agree tough to find gd maid. i m still observing the current one...see if able to let her participate more in bb activities.
 
Opps look like im the only one who wipe my bbs whole body.. My hb always say i give them spa service.. Hahaha..
I can take 10mins for each bb.. My bbs always smile and "talk" to me while i wipe.. Thats y i take so long hee...

Panda
Actually hor.. Its not difficult at all leh.. I just tried a few times and its done! Thou they cry and fuss during the few times.. I just leave them alone.. When they cry too fierce i will go into the rm and pat pat them.. I dont carry them up... I leave the rm again... Let them continue to cry.. Then go in carry them for awhile and put them down again.. Will repeat this a few times till they are tired and fall asleep... They after few times they no longer cry when i put them down.. Guess they are used to it. They know its sleeping time...

I always wanted to do this even before they are born.. I also want them to sleep on their own cot in their own room.. No co sleeping with us... I wanted to do it from the very start.. Cos i know once they are used to sleeping with us it will be so hard to wean off..

Maybe u can give it a try.. Crying for awhile will not hurt them.. Can train their lungs too hee! With more than a bb like us.. We must do this else it will be too hectic for us esp when they grow older...

But of cos not all bbs are trainable.. Some just simply refuse..
 
Panda,

I find that setting a routine helps with getting baby to sleep. I will also do evening wipe for bb, change them to pjs, then feed them their 7/8pm milk then go into the room, off all lights, on their white noise and carry them till they are drowsy. Then i put down in the cot. Though it doesnt work all the times, but there have been a few evenings where my boy will go to sleep on his own (when I put him down, eyes still open). My gal abit hard.... still wants to be carried to sleep. I am going to try the same method on her too now... hope it works.

Now, they usually will sleep thru from 7/8 plus till about 1am, wake up for feed and another one more time at 4 plus then sleep till about 8am. That's when I move them out into the living room where they will be during the day time.

How is your boy? Still refusing to feed from bottle and drinking half only? my boy still on off like that... i am thinking its wind cuz can hear the hollow sound in his tummy and when he rejects milk, his body straighten and leg stretched out (like he has wind type of action). Started giving colic drops again... hope it works.

Grumpus,

You mentioned that your elder girl had reflux and u used to feed her smaller but more regular feeds. How often was that and how much each feed? Since my boy can't take much each time, I'm trying to see if more regular feeds would work. Was your girl on meds for the reflux?
 
Gan,
now is still abit early to train the day routine. i start with just the night time last feed sleep, and the morning wake up, milk and bath timing first.

at abt 3-4mths u can start training the day routine cos they sleep less during the day, usually only 2 naps, one long and one short.

The few 'rules' i set:
1) Fixed time for evening routine (+/- half hr)
2) Fixed time for morning routine (+/- half hr)
3) Daytime feeds every 2.5-3hrs

Once u hv those in place, the naps just slot in between the feeds, so the routine becomes something like this:

7-7.30am wake up + milk
9.30am bath
10-10.30am milk + nap
1-1.30pm wake up + milk
4-4.30pm milk + nap
5.30-6pm wake up
7.30pm wipe down + milk + sleep
11-12am milk
3-4am milk

for the afternoon naps, i will put my girl in a dim and quiet room so she knows it's time to sleep. when it's time to wake up and she's not awake be herself, i will draw open the curtains.
when it's awake time, i will play with her so she will be tired enough for the next nap.
 
baby,
i wipe down my girls entire body too.

working wife,
i stopped letting my girl wear mittens abt 3-4wks old. i still let her wear socks/booties at night cos we sleep with the aircon.

as long as yr boy is still putting on weight, u shd just let him drink watever amt he's comfortable with. my elder girl always under drank the 'required' amt, but she managed to stay on the 50th percentile for weight. in fact, she got reflux when i tried to increase her feeds to the 'target' amt and ended up losing weight.
but of cos, do keep an eye for underlying probs if yr boy's milk intake keeps dropping.

when my girl had reflux, i fed her 60-70ml every 2hrs. when she got better she drank 100ml every 3hrs. she was on motilium and zantac for her reflux.
 
working wife, my boy is stil not drinking as much as previous feeds. Now average 80-100ml.. previously was 140ml...and half the feeds hv to coax him to finish the amount. we notice tht he cant sleep thru the night like the other 2...n concluded its becoz he is not drinking enough..so will still wake up every 3hrly thru the night.

i m not sure whts the reason for the drop in intake..i m guessing could it be tht he has already learnt wht is "full".. previously still dunno..so whatever we give, he drink...

my eldest boy has reflux.. every feed will throw up milk.. but he always finishes his 140ml of milk.... if feed lesser, he will be hungry before 3hrs..
 
grumpus, ur schedule looks good! hmm.. my mum tinks tht babies should sleep after every feed leh... gosh.. n they literally try to "force" my bbs to sleep! coz if they are not sleeping, they will fuss...n she cant take it...

i m going to start trying out the night training..let them sleep on their own... after tht when my new maid is here..start day schedule. its impossible for me to do anything my way now..coz i will hv 999 objections from my parents n mil :S
 
working wife my gal stopped wearing mittens when she is 5 weeks old. my hubby will cut her nails every weekend. she used to wear socks during day time but now i stopped coz her legs are getting fleshy and the socks always leave red marks on her legs. night time i would let her wear those with footcover bodysuit. my gal is about your boy's weight, she is 5.99kg last monday and her daily intake is about 600ml, been like this since full month, no increase. KKH PD doesn't seem concern as she has been putting on weight and peeing regularly.

Grumpus, will see if i can get my gal into a day routine in april when she is older. your elder girl is in 1/2 day childcare or full day?
 
Hi ladies its me again...
Went to the PD this morning and BB's jaundice leve went to 13.5,...so repeated test needed on Sat...PD not too concerned as he is peeing and pooing more...

I begin to adjust my mindset that TOTAL Breast-feeding is currently not attainable and I would make do with some Formula milk as well...for days I keep blaming myself for "short-changing" my son...and have been crying when I think he is so small and i compromise... but im really limited..

Today is day 5 and I managed to pump out 40ml of milk from left boob...right bood is still wounded and when i tried pumping, there is blood again...so either only direct latch or supp with FM..

I am also very worried about coping..and soemtimes I really wonder how to cope, and fear going mad...coz i expec too much and fear too much too...
 
pandawife how does ur mum force the babies to sleep??? i guess it's because when babies sleep. they grow as what some say.

no way i can force my gal to sleep....she can be awake whole afternoon...n i will be like carrying her from her cot, to our bed to the rocker like a musical chair to keep her entertained
 
Panda,
some bbs can and do sleep alot. if yr bb can then easy job. but actually bbs this age sleep only abt 15-16hrs. my girls always do only the minimum :p sleep the min required, drink the min required..hahahaha
if u see my schedule, they'll be getting abt 15hrs. 11-12 hrs at night, daytime one long 2-3hr nap, and one short 1-1.5hr nap.

Gan,
my elder girl is in 3hr kindy.
 
pink D,
it's only day 5, 40ml from one boob is very good! is yr boy latching well? if he is, why dun u just exclusively latch. it's much less stressful than pumping and getting caught up in the numbers. also, bbs can draw out alot more milk from the breast directly than what we can pump out.

is he more or less satisfied after latching for a feed? if he is then he's getting enough. it's perfectly NORMAL if he asks for milk again 1.5-2hrs later. it doesn't mean that he didn't get enough. the feeding every 3hr rule was invented by bottle feeding.

call me if u need to talk ya?
 
Gan,
can force bb to sleep. keep stuffing them pacifier, keep putting them on the bed and pat pat, keep carrying and rocking until they get drowsy etc.....
then when they dun sleep, complain lor :p
 
my mum will put bb on the bed..pat n pat n pat.. bb cry she continue to pat until bb tired from crying n sleep! if bb still refused to sleep, my mum will get angry n scold lor...

actually i noticed when they are "forced" to sleep, they never sleep for long.. 5-10mins later..they are crying again.
 
Grumpus: I just pm-Ed u..
My boy can't latch well or either that I hv poor latching skills? He nurses at least 30min to an HR depending on how hungry n sleepy he is.. So I no longer zzz at nights cos he nurses so long...
 
Pink D,

I agree with Grumpus! I think 40ml is a good amount on day 5. Dun think I got that amount. I hate to pump coz can see the amount. What u pump out is not what u hv in yr breasts.

I prefer latching on and gauge by the number of poo and pee.

When u pump and find that no more milk coming out, keep on pumping air. It's to stimulate yr breasts for more milk. Total pumping should be 20 minutes with a dual pump.

Can u express by hand until yr breast is healed?
 
Grumpus,

Doc also gave my bbs motilium and Zantac. How long did ur girl have to take those meds? Doc ask me to continue for 2 months (3 months in total). I'm a bit weary to give them so much of this.
 
Working wife,
My dr also asked me to give her the meds for a couple of months but I only gave her for 2-3 wks. Instead I read up on how to manage the symptoms and once the frequency of her spit ups reduced, I stopped the meds.
I fed her small frequent feeds, carried her upright for at least 15mins after each feed n let her sleep propped up at an angle
 
Baby,
How i envy you. Your babies can fall asleep on their own. For me, I 'bu ren xin' to let my babies cry for so long. I read from a book that it's not advisible for babies to cry for too long as they will secret a certain type of chemical in their bodies which will harm the development of their brains at this age. We feed our babies at around 10pm everyday and they will usually fall asleep when drinking milk. If they don't fall asleep, we will carry them for a while until they sleep.

I'm facing a problem now. My girl is too close to my nanny now! When both my nanny and I were talking or playing with her, she will only look at my nanny and smile at her! When she's crying, only my nanny can calm her down but not anyone else. I'm quite sad as she's close to an outsider who's not going to be with us forever. Since I've started work, I don't have much time for her. Whenever I'm at home now, I try to feed her and play with her all the time. I'm afraid that if I don't spend more time with her, she will be so closer to my nanny and drift further away from me.
 
Bing,

I'm facing d same prob too. But is my ILs. My elder girl will turn to look at my MIL and SIL. Only when they not ard, she will look at me. Feeling very sad.
 
Mummies,

I'm planning to go HK w/o my girls for 6 days. Don't plan to bring along my pump. But now my question is will my supply come back after 5 days of no pumping? Or should I stop expressing out??
 
Skies,
Do u plan to stop bf-ing? If yes, then u can stop expressing, but u need to do it gradually, cannot just cold turkey like tat, u will get very engorged n uncomfortable.
If u plan to resume afte 5 days, think it will be tough cos yr supply will hv dropped drastically.
If u want to continue, u will hv to express during those 5days.
 
bing, we belong to the same catagory of mummies...haha.. i read tht too much crying will affect bb when they are older.. bbs who are attended to promptly during initial mths..will grow up to be happier toddlers as they feel loved and secure.
 
Skies,
Is your IL taking care of your elder girl now? Who's taking care of your younger girl? At least your elder girl is close to her grandma, it's still not too bad. My girl is close to the nanny who won't be with us forever. It makes me even more sad.

Don't stop pumping for 5 days unless you plan to stop breastfeeding totally. And even if you plan to stop breastfeeding, you can't stop pumping suddenly. It will block the ducts and you may end up having engorgement. My SIL stopped pumping suddenly and she developed mastitis and fever. I took 1 month to stop breastfeeding as I was very scared of getting engorgement again. The breast consultant at KK told me to slowly reduce the frequency of pumping. So I reduce from 3 hourly to 4-5hourly, 6hourly, 8hourly, 12hourly, 18hourly and eventually stop pump. The milk supply reduce drastically once I reduce the frequency of pumping. Also I didn't empty my breast when I pump. Just pump out enough to ensure that the breast is not hard like rock and I feel comfortable.
 
Bing,

My ILs are taking care of both of them. Even sometimes the younger one also not looking at me. I have to get their attention by making them look at me (when they turn their heads to elsewhere).

My pumping is like 4 times a day. Before going to work, ard 11+, 4+ and before sleep. So now I have to reduce to 3 times a day then twice then once? Usually I pump 15mins each time. But if I dont pump for 15min, my breast will feel slight heavy a few hours later.
 
Bing
Dont envy me lah.. I do the hard way leh.. I let my bbs cry i out.. Yday night my small girl refuse to sleep on her own.. I carry her.. But i dont rock her.. She keep crying in my arms.. Then finally she fall asleep... I put her in the cot.. Mins later she cry again.. I repeat the process... Then make it..

I dont have this problem with my elder girl.. She always sleep on her own.. Cos frm the start i dont always carry her cos i knw it will becum a habit.. I will feed her and then put her down immediately aft burp.. I dont carry her and walk ard..
But with my small girl i cant cos she has colic and we always has go carry her to pacify her.. Tats y now she is used to carrying even when her colic went away..
 
Hmm sounds like im the only ren xin mummy here hahaha..
I can tahan to let my bbs cry.. Im not that kind of mummy who jump to every bb cry.. I always let them cry abit before picking them up.. Of cos not when they are hungry or have soiled diaper..
 
Any mummies want to take over fitti size m? My gal had rashes after wearing. She dont have rashes with drypers, nepia, mamy pokers and pampers. Sob sob. Please pm me.
 
Any mummies here can recommend me a good play gym big enough for 2 babies?
I like the fisherprice melodies and lights rainforest play gym alot but it's out of stock in Sg. Ordered from amazon but the shipping cost at vpost turned out to be 300sgd! Returned to amazon in the end.

Babies,
It seems like the only way to train babies to sleep on their own is to let them cry out loud for a few times. I'm trying to train my babies to sleep but letting them lie sideways and patting them on the butt. Sometimes it works when they ate very tired but most of the time it doesn't. I hope they can get used to it soon.

Pandawife,
Oh you read that too? I remember the book says that we shouldn't let the baby cry longer than necessary cos they will produce stress hormone cortisol. High levels of cortisol will alter the chemistry of the brain in a lasting way. From then onwards, I always try to respond to my babies when they cry, even if it contradicts the advice of older generations.

Skies,
Maybe you wanna reduce your pumping to 3 times, then twice and once a day and at the same time don't empty the breast. Which means that you don't pump for 15min but instead just pump for a short while, just enough to remove the hard lumps in your breast so that you won't get engorgement. In this way, you are giving your body the signal that your demand has dropped and it will reduce the supply.
 
pandawife, bing
ya i also heard some research said that if babies cry too much now, is not so good when they grow up.
i cant tahan my bb cry so end up "spoiling" him, now he needs to be carried, pat, walk to sleep. hv to say i'm also worried that he will continue to be like this when he grows up...
 
happyhippo,
dun worry, i carried my elder girl alot when she was younger and i managed to wean her off it. now she can fall asleep by herself.
when yr boy is more mobile and can understand u, u can slowly train him without too much tears.
 
Bing the rainforest play gym looks fun! U checked n there is no place selling in Singapore? Wld like to buy 1 for my gal... Make her day more interesting. Tomorrow isetan private sale, has asked my hubby to come home earlier n I will go isetan to check anythings to buy for my gal
 
mummies,
how many times ur bb burp for one feed?
yest my ger burp 6times in one feed n lately fart a lot too...
anyone using avent teats? do u change according to d months? mine still usin 0mths at her wk 7...
 
Bing
For play gym, check out those by 'Tiny Love'. It is quite huge also. What I like is they also sell the toys seperately, so I can buy more as add ons or swap them in/out for variety.

Bing/Pandawife
U must exposed yourself to constant stress in order to release stress hormone large enough to be worried. Experts also say that some stress is good for us. People say crying is good for bbs, but in fact, if they cry too much and too hard they will suck in air and will cry more. Crying is how bbs communicate. There is always 2 sides of the story, so as long as you are comfortable with your methods of raising bbs, that's the most important.
 
Rose
6 times of burping is alot but its ok, it is better merlion as long as bb is happy. Actually, u can continue to use the teats if bb doesn't fuss and finishes the milk fast. If they take too long to finish, than maybe the flow is too slow. So depends on bb I always try the next size b4 the recommended on the instructions and see how they take it.
 
Rose,
7wks is when the gassiness, colicky stuff happens. Burping 6 times is quite a lot but better she burps and farts out all the wind than it getting stuck and accumulating in her tummy.
The teat size is just a guideline, if she's still finishing her milk quickly then no need to change. If the flow is too fast she'll swallow more wind.
 
Mummies the babycarr fair pampers got 38% discount with every 3 packets purchased based on SMS from singtel.

Rostrum think both r the same. Up to u if u want to get a swaddling blanket. Can use cloth nappy though the size maybe abit small to do proper swaddling. I got mine from parentraft at tmc. Think $13 per piece. Just a plain white xloth
 
grumpus n bubbybear ,

thz. my ger resume back to her normal burp liao. but stil cranky...makin a lot of noises n painful expression in her sleep

rostrum,
swaddle branket gd for wrappin bb when gng out durin 1st month n to aircon area. bb likes to be swaddled. i bought fr whampoa that shop, a piece of cloth with a hood for bb head, can oso use as blanket to cover bb body when in infant car seat too.
 
rostrum,
but swaddle blanket quite thick, nappy cloth oso can (more breathable n coolin) much depends on d place u gng n ur preference.
 


Hi ladies, I'm having constipation till nw I hv 2 piles swelling up! Been in toilet pushing for over an hour earlier but failed, n got 2 piles swell up! Help! Shld I c dr Loh or jus go gp to get meds?

Will they operate me nw I'm 29 weeks along? Will the piles subside by itself??
 

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