IVF Mummies-To-Be Support Group

Panda why did u decided to take a maid with no exp?
I have also chosen my maid, coming n 4-6 weeks time. Next few months will be busy as we sold our place n will be shifting. Will be busy packing up again.

Baby, ur hub can work with a toddler sticking to him? Yup, u r lucky hub helps with chores. Mine help me kid, but chores now with maid, he doesn't do...but when grace is older, I will do without maid, will train him to do chores again! Hehehehe

Just faith found a preschool?
 


Gan
Yes so far my hubby brought my elder to work cos she is not as sticky to me like her sis... But both my girls v scare of strangers... Dont allow anyone to carry them... So whole time my elder stick to my hubby at work.. She will sit on my hubby lap while he in the meeting..

Even now attending play class they still not as sociable leh.. Everytime see strangers will glue to us... If too many at a time they will cry and cry...

Is it the same with grace?

Panda, yr trio scare of strangers?
I dont dare to place so much hopes on the new maid.. Worried she will say quit after coming to our hse... Like my previous new maid say quit after 2 weeks... So sian... Spend so much effort training her.. Let her bond with my girls... And then she just left... Left us without a helper...
 
Baby when grace sees strNgers , she will cling on to me, but won't cry. She likes to tell herself 'bu pa bu pa , mama zai' to assure herself she is ok as I m around. If we are with out friends which she first met, we will ask her high 5 with the person, which she enjoys doing, and after sometime she will warm up and wld be ok.
 
Gan, my previous maids all w experience n all cannot make it. Always can't follow my instructions wanna do things their way!
So this time I decided to train a fresh one. N Filipinos r smarter, if hv experience she might not stay long w me too..

Baby, my trio not scared of strangers. Very sociable one. See pple will introduce each other. My eldest will tell pple who is his didi, Mei Mei, and they will all say hello. Maybe coz we go out everyday. Now even only 1 maid we still go downstairs for walks. I use strollers. One twin one single. They will look for cats, butterflies or watch d older kids play basketball or badminton from their strollers...
But my girl don't let strangers carry. Won't cry but she will refuse ... My boys r ok.
 
Baby, I know you will say that. Cause I only have one to manage. Haha!  I suggest to bring them out more often so that your girls get tired easily and sleep more during daytime.  Can your girls sit still in the stroller? My girl has been trained to sit and sleep in stroller. I seldom carry her when we are out. Ya, u r right! It is different for every family.  That's why I salute my friend who manage her 3 kids. One 8 year old boy and 15 months twin girls. Her husband is always travelling.  Her family is not in Singapore to help her. 

Pandawife, no I haven't confirm a place. We actually found one with pretty good teacher and students ratio. Only 1:6.  With immediate vacancy, sheltered drop off in case of raining. Everything fits the bill. Poor mummy here have no heart to put her in CC. I don't know when I will muster the courage to leave her in CC.... I am still not mentally prepared - hubby thinks I need to go for counselling. On the other hand, I got a very good job offer, 9-5pm. The feeling is good that I have been offered a job after being self-employed for the last 8 years.  But I may turn down the offer if I can't find a proper arrangement for my girl. 
 
Baby / Pandawide, I understand. Me 1 toddler n 1 kid l, I can't handle. I salute to both of you. I'm vert sure I can't be a Sham. I will go crazy at home.
 
Last night was chaos here! My trio took turns wake up n cry. I only manage to sleep 5-630! This morning wake up all v v cranky n refuse to eat bf. cry scream n fight for no reason...
Buay tahan just giv them a bottle of milk n make them nap again. Once they Ko I quickly go cook lunch.

Baby, my ones when fight is madness too... Everyday will fight for my attention. Now my girl super sensitive. She see me play or carry any of the boys she will start crying n screaming like kanna abused and non stop until I carry her!! She can scream until like going to no voice type. I tried let her scream but it went on so long I myself cannot tahan go pick her up.
It's esp hard for us coz kids this age wants ALOT of attention and being the same age, they don't really understanding tht there is only 1 mummy to b shared. So become lotsa fights n crying!
 
Baby
I guess it is a matter of choice and not a question of only having multiples will understand. Yes, your situation may be tougher than singleton families but every household has it own set of challenges. Since you are already in this situation(having multiples), just got to find some way that works the way you want it. There is always a way out I believe and it is just whether it goes with your believe or not. So don't feel you are not enjoying parenthood, just do your best to make it happen.
 
Dont get me wrong. Im not saying singleton familes do not have problems or challenges. Im just pouring some grumbles here that my helper is gone and we are trying our best to cope. Words of encouragement will be better here.
 
Baby how's ur week been?? I wanted to ask few days ago, draft a message about to send the screen on my iPhone hang on me!!
Now I will send short messages otherwise waste d time typing again...
 
My trio past one week kept having melt downs!! All 3 cry cry over the smallest issues or no reason!
And usually in the morning or just before dinner.
On wed I was so freaked out I took them out at 5pm. All in strollers me n maid went to causeway point for walk. Buy shirts for my hb, went polar buy the Hokkaido cake, and Ntuc grocery shop! The kids were like angels thru out .. 6pm we went home for dinner.. Avoided the evening melt down.
Yesterday raining cannot go out! Melt down again! ;(
 
Panda
Haha.. Sama sama.. My iphone also hang on me a few times before i can send out the message.. End up i didnt send cos too lazy to type all over again...

My week ah? Hai... Long story... Tired and tired... My elder down with fever... See pd but pd dont knw whats wrong also cos no other symptons.. Now fever gone.. Rash came on.. Guess its the fake ma... Wed both super super cranky and fussy... Scream and cry almost the whole day.. Cry till face red red and body shaking... Mommy wana pull hair..
Luckily yday is one of the better days... Both guai guai.. Didnt fight or fuss..

Wahh.. U can do so many tins within 1hr ah... Haha.. My ntuc trip alrdy take an hr liao... Heee...
My girls now dont like to sit in stroller leh... Hubby and i v headache now when we are out.. Cos only two of us.. If both refuse to sit halfway.. Then jialat... Each carry one who push stroller? Hai...
sad.gif

Im thinking to buy a side by side twin stroller.. Im wondering is it my tandem stroller v comfy.. Seat too small.. So both cant sit in it for long... Yr trio v good.. Can sit and be angel.. Mine are like terrors...
 
Panda at least the trio meltdown is during the day. Mine is 4am, wake up, threw tantrum , give milk also cry, dun give also cry
 
Baby, ever since hv kids I m trained to shop v fast. I keep a list of things to buy in my Hp. Go Ntuc just grab n go. No need to think.

My twin is maclaren side by side, also small seat.. Not v spacious. If those spacious ones will b v bulky. Hard to move ard. My trio not guai! Everytime to get them into the stroller make me sweat!! They cry,struggle kick n slap me!! I hv to literally "force" them into the seat. But once out of house ok Liao....

Grumpus, yeah lor I hv 3 terrible twos!! ;(
 
Gan, my trio still not sleeping thru. Take turns wake up. Every night I sleep less then 5 hours and all interrupted. Smtimes I wonder how come I m still breathing !
 
Hahaha ya I also wonder how I can go thru meetings with so little sleep! Only slept 3 plus hrs last night . Woke up 1-3 am, 5am again
 
Panda
Me too keep a list of things to buy. But my shopping is prolong cos my girls keep fussing in the trolley so got to tend to them... Usually the ntuc trip will take abt half hr...

Wahh yr trio so violent ah.. Will slap u... So far my girls didnt do that.. They wont hit us.. They will kick and turn.. Will stretch their body when they refuse to sit in the stroller... Sweat mann.. Its good yr trio can sit in the stroller for long.. At least u can shop and walk in peace.. Mine cannot.. Keep fussing.. Wana get down or want us to carry... Hai...
Like that v hard to shop...

Ur trio each wake up how many times in a night? Mine also leh.. Esp my small girl.. Will cry v bad.. Like kana abuse.. Carry also cry...
She also v funny lately.. Want to choose her own clothes.. Even what we wear she also wana choose.. If i wear something she dont like she will pull my clothes and cry.. My hubby also.. Come bk home with jeans wana change into shorts she cry.. Open the drawer and pull out the bottom she wants my hubby to wear... Faint.
 
Terrible two really scary mann... The tantrums they throw and the temper they show really v terrible!
When will terrible two be over? The whole of year two??? And now they are not even two yet!!! Sweat mann...
 
hello mummies
me long time no log in..hehehee.
work been busy, so glad its wkend!
ask you hor, when ur kiddos dont like certain food, do they spit out immediately or they shake head/tell u dont want then spit out for u to catch?
my boys spit out so fast & immediate, is becoming like a bad habit. wonder how to stop that?

gan
how's grace in childcare? ok adapted well ardi?
 
mine only 14 mths & already showing us her chilli padi temper! but today she call mama & papa so sweet till all her mistakes are forgiven immediately!!

last nite she woke up 3 times between 12 to 3am, hubby & I take turns to wake up & scheduled to do FET in Nov. now I have 2nd thoughts cos dunno how I'm going to cope with her temper like this
sad.gif
 
Baby, becoz I hv 3. Even on a good night each one wake up 2x Thts already 6x!!! Lol.. N smtimes one wake up wanna koala on me until deep sleep. After I manage to put back into their bed, another one wake up wanna koala again. So I can be awake for a long stretch. My girl usually can't sleep thru. But now she cutting molar .. Kept whining n wanna crawl onto me to sleep.. ;(
My eldest also kept grinding his teeth n waking up cry
For me n wants to drink milk. Odd hours ..
Now my Hb will sleep w my younger boy. I sleep w the eldest n girl in their room. Younger boy always wake up cry fr daddy....

I go Ntuc don't use trolley. They stay in stroller and I hang d basket on the stroller handle. So they won't hv chance come out of stroller to fuss. And I kept telling them now only mummy n one auntie. Cannot carry 3 big boys n girl, so they have to sit in the strollers.
 
Happy, how r u? My gal is like ur boy spit out the food fast if she doesn't like it! Kept telling her n but she just want to do it.
She is ok with school now, doesn't cry when I drop her there but today I let her try full day, she refused t nap and kept crying for me after lunch. Think she expects us to pick her up after lunch like what we do usually...ibhave to rush from office to her cc to pick her and send her to my mum place. She then napped from 4pm to almost 7 when she was at my parent's place

How is ur boy?
 
Panda
Poor u... Each take turn to wake up every night is no joke... Hugs...

My girls will also take turn to wake up but my hubby and i each take turn so still alright... On good nights my elder can zzz thru.. Sometimes she ehh ehh.. I carry her to our bed and she will zzz bk again... Now no more milk in the middle of night..

Ntuc no trolley cannot le... Too many tins to buy.. Toilet roll, floor detegent la.. Tissue la.. Diaper la...One go the whole trolley will be full... Now we try to go groceries shopping once every 2 weeks instead of once every week... So many tins to stock up... Those vegetable we will buy as and when we pass by any supermakert...

My hse nearby no supermarket.. No malls.. So cant be like u can push strollers with the tods and buy some tins or run some errands.. Its good if nearby hse have some pl to walk walk to buy some tins.. Best if got supermarkets.. Haha..
 
Baby I shop for perishables once a week. All those heavy stuff like deferent, toilet paper all I stock up once a month! Its a hassle to lug them back even when I buy weekly. So I prefer to stock up when they hv promotion for these items.

I agree it's covenient to staying near mall n mrt. Within walking distance we can go out. Yesterday afternoon I took the kids to Kp let them play toys while I shop for more Playdoh .. Got them toy tennis sets to play. They kept saying to badminton.. Coz alwys see the older kids play badminton here..
 
Now my diaper mostly from jb. My parents go there 2x a month. Stock up diapers n grocery shop. There is this brand call whoopee Thts v good n cheap. Cheaper than fitti n better quality .. I use it for day wear.
At night I use pampers, huggies or mamy poko n I also stock up when they hv promo. So no need buy every week..
Speaking of diaper, hv u potty train ur girls?
I started puttig them on training pants 1 hour a day. But nobody wanna sit potty leh. N they only tell me after they poo!!! Cos they wanna wash backside. Faint!
 
I m feeling stress w new maid coming tmr. Initial weeks the kids sure don't want her.
Lately when I pat one sleep the other two will b outside screaming... N when I feed one, the other also not happy. Every meal like war time. Scream n cry!
I dunno what will happen w new maid!
Haiz.. Hav maid also stress, no maid also stress
 
I purposely arrange one in one out. My current maid is v slow ..I don't want her to influence d new one. Best for them not to meet. N she will probably tell the new maid last time hv 2 maids do the work. Might create imbalance feelings.
 
Panda
I also stock up diaper when promo.. That was one time i buy 12 packs of pampers at one shot.. 6 packs of fitti diaper.. Wana buy more but only left 6 pack of XL.. Lol..

I usually arrange free delivery from ntuc.. I only lug bk the perisable foods.. All those toilet roll detergent drinks etc all by delivery...

Cos my hse nearby no supermarket so i will only go ntuc once every 2 weeks to buy food for bb cooking like meat and ingredient for cooking soup.. Else once every week too troublesome...

I just finish unpacking the ntuc stuffs and store all the meat.. Wash clothes hang laundry...
 
Panda
Hvt start potty training yet leh.. Too tired lately.. No energy to train and do all the cleaning up.. Hehe..
But going to start soon... Cos my girls occasionally will tell me they wana poo... When they tell me.. I tot they alrdy pooed but when i check dont have.. After a short while they will tell me again.. Then saw poo when i check.
So i may start soon.. Dont thk i will use training pants.. Will put a potty nearby.. When they tell me.. I will take off the diaper and ask them to sit on in...
 
Can understand yr worries abt the new maid..
Both my girls also dont want my new maid.. All cling on to me.. They also dont feel secure when they see the maid around the house.. It gets better aft 2 weeks.. But didnt expect she wana leave! Waste our effort to train her...
sad.gif

Thats why even now im doing without a maid.. I dont look forward to the new one at all... Surely alot of insecurities and crying... And for the initial period she surely wont handle the bb stuffs.. I guess must at least take abt 1 mth plus to make my girls adapt to her...
 
My maid packing her bag now. She ask me for a photo of my trip. She especially sayang my eldest boy. Make me feel abit sad too although she always make me angry. But she can always pacify my boy and he will also look for her when he can't get my attention coz the two younger ones cling to me.

Today went Ntuc too... Stock up fight d battle from tomorrow w new maid!!
 
New maid has been here since 12noon. Taught her how to wash baby dishes, bottles n the adult dishes. She also helped me wash one of my toilet and kept all the kids laundry n fold. Just now after lunch she Was the one who cleaned d high chairs and floor.
She is definitely smarter n much much cleaner than my previous maids.
But she is v soft spoken n not as outspoken as the maid I just sent back. Now I m letting her play Playdoh w the kids to bond w them .. She helped me feed Linus half bowl of his lunch. I fed 2.5kids myself.
Overall not too bad for day 1 here. Of coz its still too early to tell for sure...
 
Panda
Wow.. Thats a good start! Yr new maid alrdy can bond with yr trio and even feed them... Very good lo!
That time my new maid cant even go near to my girls lor. They cry the moment they see her... Only gets better after a week...

Yes phillipino generally are cleaner than indo. But my previous new maie thou a philp not so clean. Caught her a few times didnt wash her hands aft toilet... Can faint.
 
Haiz.. At night aft bbs slept I realized she is quite slow. Clean but slow. I did half of the chores .. She only manage half. I had to wash d sink, mop kitchen, wash my own clothes, hang them out to dry, clean d toys, wipe playmats, clean d whole playroom, hang baby laundry, keep all the dry clothes, dry all the baby dishes and keep into the drawer. And prepare all the things for tmr battle ;(

Baby where does ur maids sleep?? They hv a room??
I let my maid sleep in the kids playroom. I just found out she locked the room to sleep! I went to ask her unlock n cannot close the door totally. Must b slightly open so tht easier for me to push open to call her shld I need help w the kids at night.
 
Panda maybe new so slower? But my current maid is also very slow.nowadays I wash all our clothes myself, fold, keep. Weekends, prepare n cook bb meals n also wash he bowls, cutlery etc.
Mine Can wash 2 milk bottles in 1 hr!!

My replacement maid fillipino no overseas exp, has 1 off day per month
 
Panda
I realise maids are generally slow... Maybe they feel what for they do things fast... Finish tins faster means got more other work to do... Might as well take their own sweet time..
I guess just got to learn to accept the slowness... Rem what u say... If cant close two eyes then got to DIY.. Lol..

My old maid sleep in the bb rm with my small girl.. So she can tend to her if she cry in the middle of the night.. But new maid she wont sleep in bb rm for the start cos my girl surely wont want her.. So she sleep in the other rm. i also dont allow them to close and lock the door when sleeping.. I need the door to be open so i can call out to them when i need their help..
 
Panda
If yr maid sees u helping with the chores then she probably will not bother to do things faster since the employer is sharing the load.. Tell her what are the things need to be done and tell her to plan her time. Do faster means can rest earlier. If really cant.. Then maybe got to reduce the work load? Cos last time the load is shared by two maids... Now only have 1...
 
Baby I already reduce the work to the minimal basic.
U see the things Iisted. These r daily to do in any house. N we don't need her to help w the kids coz Hb was home.
I told her tonight she is on her own. I will not help her. I wanna see how much she can do.
I dont like to keep nagging at maids. They hv to auto manage the basic chore. I tc of my trio already bery tired n stress...
 
pandawife
i would hv freaked out if i were you- to find out that she locked the door when sleeping with kiddos in the room! think i wld hv immediately tell her door must be fully opened at all times. don't even close half at all, esp when she is so new. sorry for the outburst, but i never trust maids, no matter how good they are, afterall those are not their kids. now and then we hear all those horror maid stories, so really best to be more careful and strict esp at the start.
ya baby is right abt maids dragging time to do chores when u help them. good to give them list of thgs to do and tell them finish by what time.

gan
my boy still cry in the morning when hand him over to teacher. but crying stop faster already. i think he will never stop crying coz it is separation for him. are you still trying to put grace full day? ya i think it will be another adjustment for her to do full day.
 
Happy hippo, she not w d kids. Alone in d playroom. I never let my trio sleep w any of my maids. Need help I go call them help to pat.
 
Happy we will let her do 1/2 day till she is 2 before deciding whether to put her in full day.

I m now more stressed abt her falling sick. For Aug she only attends 1/2 the month, the other 1/2 the month we kept her at home as she fell sick with high fever, running nose.
Today took urgent leave to take her to doc coz she woke up with high fever with alot of phlegm. Her temp was around 38.2 the whole day even though we gave her med.
Haiz..at times like this I wish I am not working. Not easy to juggle work with a child who is not well as u also have responsibilities to fulfill at work
 


gan,
my boy perpetually hv phlegm and on & off cough. not sure if coz otr kids not well in cc. strangely he always cough during nite time when asleep. his booster jab is super delayed coz like never well enuf to go jab.
ya sometimes I also wish can be sahm coz now at this age, he can understd better, can do more thgs if at home.
 
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