Hi Bigbear, *hugz, am so sorry to hear your news. Just to share when I failed my IUI July this year, I could not cry too, in fact for some days I thought I was fine. Then one day about one week later, suddenly the tears came and poured down my face triggered by something small. I wailed over the failure and how helpless I felt despite doing my best.
So let yourself grieve as much as you have to then pick yourself up, dust yourself and soldier on. We mere humans can only do so much, the rest is up to a higher power whom we must surrender to.
I don't know if this comforts you but my friend who had 4 kids told me (before I was married) that at the end of the day our spouse is the most important person as he is the one who will grow old with us, not children who will leave us when they grow big. So when you said you suddenly feel lost since you had been so occupied with this ttc journey, maybe it is a chance for you now to invest the time to build a stronger relationship with your spouse. All the best Bigbear!