IVF/ICSI Support Group

[marble]

my boss viewed me as a disengaged employee becos of my 2 rounds of IVF. becos of this, I did not get the pay rise I think i deserve, despite my overall performance at work was up to mark (met most of my KPIs).

I think no matter how, there will always be bosses we are not sympathetic to the plights of IVF women...and somehow one way or another, we will get penalised/persecuted, if not outright, then indirectly, like in my case a lower pay increase.

 

[red_velvet]

Thanks Beep, joyfully and Luv.

Joyfully and Luv, dh was telling me to transfer our frozen embryos somewhere else. 换个环境. Do u guys know how much CARE is charging for Fet and AH?

 

[asiafrighter]

Hi all

AH is for those have egg shells too thick to hatch out naturally. But the dr told me it only give me 1-2 pct improvement.

 

[i1bb]

Prosepina, haha! My dh will b 44 next year also. Guess if we tried our best but fruitless then must move on lor. My ex firm not very pro fam planning kind so it was rather stressful doing IVF plus having to work at the same time cos I will feel I owe the world a lot whenever I take HL. After I quit, So much better. I can go c dr as n when I wan, go tcm go accu s n when I can. No need to suit working time etc. but of cos, money is another issue n it causes a bit of stress too sometimes cos u will feel abit insecure when u ain't earning anything n yet have to keep spending. Sigh. May God have a tad bit of pity on all of us and grant us our small little wish of having a bundle of joy. Just one I very happy Liao. Please? Lolx

 

[luvnhope]

red velvet, i know it costs abt $4 to 5k for FET at CARE but not sure if it includes AH. AH shld be $800 or so? (Joyfully, correct me if i remember wrongly.) But of course the higher cost is also due to more support given during FET, unlike at KK.

 

[luvnhope]

i1BB, u'll succeed soon. Dun give up!! Jiayou!!

 

[piglet02]

Red velvet: AH is unless u r going thru another fresh cycle. Already becos embryo how to ah? Sorry if I been too straight.

Girl girl: I also taking 2 wks leave just to rest during cycle then follow by HL. Prepare my boss that I will be away for 1mths in all. Haha

 

[piglet02]

Red velet: my personally thought only. Why don't tiao your body for a few months that do a fresh cycle else where for a change of environment.

 

[luvnhope]

Babysmurf, AH is done on the embryo, not on the egg mah... can! I asked b4.

Good luck to ur next cycle! Must have a sure win attitude!

 

[maggiemee22]

i1BB.. agree with you..esp we nid go to hospital quite often for scan/ monitoring.. feel so guilty taking lv etc.. and still muz work as normal despite our discomfort.. sigh...tats y i wat to take time off fr work.. quit... concentrate ... if dun succeed den find another job..

 

[maggiemee22]

still have 1 nite to think it over....

 

[luvnhope]

maggie, u can also consider taking NPL first if possible?

 

[maggiemee22]

sisters... i tried taking conceive well but the tablets are so big... cant swallow

i hope it really help me... forcing myself to down it...

 

[maggiemee22]

luvnhope.. i wat tk npl.. but boss asking me reason why i do not wish disclose.. so unlikely will be approve right....alternative is to quit loh

 

[luvnhope]

maggie, can't u just say it's for personal reasons? Or for family reasons? If u discuss with ur boss, then perhaps if they realise that if they dun give u NPL, they end up losing u as an employee, they might reconsider. Perhaps ur boss is simply asking for a little more information and not all the details.

 

[sade]

Hi Asiafrighter, it's good that u stay positive. Ya yoga is good as it can help to improve blood circulation and calm one mind and soul. I practice yoga at home. N I felt that it change me. Cos I used to be short tempered and worried freak but aft practicing yoga with soothing music, I feel calm.
Btw did u give yourself 3 months to tiao yourself?
For CoQ10, at least 100mg bah. I took that dosage. Read fr USA forum that some took 300mg a day, I think it's too much. But they took high dosage for 2-3 months before starting IVF.

Maybe u might wanna try CARE. their success rate is high but prices is high too.

Ya I m fine now. Thks for checking.

You are a strong woman, keep the faith!

It's nt easy and u r willing to take it on. Really admire ur preservance.

Hope to hear good news fr u soon.

 

[maggiemee22]

luvnhope.. yup i told its personal medical grounds but still asking for the real medical reason... and also told them i will quit if npl not granted.. im just contempleting whether to tell the real reason or just quit ... will go home n think for a nite ...

btw.. i hvnt really tiao my body to prepare ...dunno what to do except to take conceive well...

 

[maggiemee22]

sade.. where can i get CoQ10?

 

[janbebe]

Hi Red Velvet: Thanks for inviting me...
Hi everyone: new to this thread.. I'm trying for my no 2 for past 2 years.. keep trying but in the end decide to check for reason last Dec.. found out that my left tube is block and I have very little ovum (eggs). So decide to do IVF in mar. Haha but ran away due to fear.. but still somehow came back again and started the treatment today.. 1st day of jab.. still scare but my hubby did the injection.. all I did was pinch myself and close my eyes..
Kudos to all of u who can endure and inject myself..
I'm still shaken just the thought again..
Pls give me any advice for diet, any thing to help..
Can we still drink "Ba Zhen" for womb??
Many thanks

 

[sade]

Maggie mee, act I wanted to quit my job and concentrate cos I don't like my job but then I din.

I felt that as long u can afford to be jobless then can quit to concentrate on ivf journey. Cos u spend money, time n effort on ivf and definitely want to try your best for positive result.

So if u think that by quitting ur job, u can focus better than just do it.

But u must be prepared that u don't have maternity benefits sin u r jobless. So as long financially u r stable then just follow ur heart.

 

[sade]

Maggie mee, I bought the webber naturals brand from guardian pharmacy, 100mg 30 soft gels. 1 to be taken daily.

I rem that it's better to have it in soft gel form. Any brand is ok as long it's soft gel type. I forgot y Liao. Sorry abt it.

I compared dif brands and find that webber naturals price is reasonable. U can do your own comparisons and google.

 

[treehuggerbabe]

Some info on assisted hatching from
http://www.hfea.gov.uk/assisted-hatching.html

Before an embryo can attach to the wall of the womb, it has to break out or ‘hatch’ from its outer layer called the zona pellucida.

It has been suggested that making a hole in or thinning this outer layer may help embryos to ‘hatch’, increasing the chances of the woman becoming pregnant in some cases.

However, assisted hatching does not improve the quality of embryos.

Assisted hatching is done while the embryo is in the laboratory.

Before being transferred back to the womb a hole is made in the outer layer of the embryo or it is thinned, using acid, laser or mechanical methods.

A typical procedure is:

Step 1. On day three of embryo development, the embryologist uses either weak acid in a fine glass pipette, a microlaser or a microtool to thin or cut a hole in the outer layer of the embryo.

Step 2. If weak acid was used, the embryo is washed to prevent further damage.

Step 3. Because assisted hatching thins or makes a hole in the protective outer layer around the embryo, the woman may be given antibiotics to prevent infection.

 

[red_velvet]

Luv, thks. It is abt the same price if I were to do it in Raffles. My current doc is just too busy for me. I think she is 麻木 treating ivf cases already. Find her a bit cold. That's why thinking of changing.

1BB, my hubby also turning 44 in next Jan.

I feel like I have to do something now or never. Let's jia you together. You will soon have your dream come true.

Babysmurf, you are so sweet. Thanks for giving me your honest thought.

hope we all strike soon, whether it is fresh ivf, fet or naturally.

 

[minibunny]

hi ladies,

i had just seen my gynae today after doing a couple's checkup and was told that ivf is the way to go..

my doc said i had to go thru lapo to clear the tubes or cysts if any before starting on ivf...

anyone can share the experiecne on lapo? is it scary and painful?

 

[adejoy]

Luv, you are right. Cost for AH is $800. FET charges is around what u have quoted.

Redvelvet, CARE has a good success rate for FET and is known for their thawing process. This is info which I gathered from the 2010 and 2011 thread. Maybe u can make an appt with Angela and see if both you and DH are comfortable with her. Your dream will come true very soon too.

 

[lainelaine]

Hi minibunny, i just did my lap in mon. Mmm, its not v painful...for me,just the belly button wound hurts when i get up from bed. Other than that, i feel ok once i've overcomed the GA nauseousness. Like all surgery, you won't know anything...but i was crying when i was pushed into the theatre. But it was not a bad experience. The doc, nurses and anaerthetist was making jokes and laughing, unlike the scary, solemn theatre i've thought of.

 

[sunniehope]

Maggie Mee : I also Din tell my boss it was for ivf. Though he try to guess and got it

I still refuse to say , just say its a minor surgery.
Baby smurf :am also taking 2 wks leave followed by HL. When r u expected to start yr cycle?

 

[i1bb]

Luv n red velvet, thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes can't help feeling helpless n hopeless but still, I'll continue to try.

Maggie mee, that's exactly how I felt last time. So difficult to get time off n leave to go for scans n tcm apts etc. colleague gotta cover me whenever I do so n I have to apply from boss n he will ask long n short. So leh Cheh....

 

[piglet02]

Sunniehope: expecting ard 3rd wk of aug. Actually want to take 1 moths leave follow by HL. After discussion with my boss, cut to 2wks follow by HL. At least still have some salary to go for my facial n accupture. Haha

Advise by my gao ren that don't over bu my body. Just relax. Now trying to clear up my supplement stocks n tcm. Then do a gd detox to gear up for my cycle. Body taking in too much bu stuffs to prepare. Now is time to do detox to help my body taking in the essence of the jabs.

 

[snoopy77]

Hi i1bb, I also cannot take the stress of the work & mng , so I also quit my job & concentrate to do Ivf ... Yes.. Although loss the benefit of maternity , but I feel it's worth!

 

[sunniehope]

Babysmurf : so I will start first , probably next wk. Update u on the Growth hormone jabs. Let's jia you together

 

[adejoy]

1ibb and Snoopy, it's good that you girls are taking a break from work now and concentrate on your objective of conceiving. Me too, I quitted fr my job and stay stress-free during the whole cycle. Of course, I relied upon my religion to have peace throughout the whole cycle. I always feel money can be earned back. So if your financials are allowed, coupled with DH's support, taking a break is a good alternative.

 

[adejoy]

I1bb, Snoopy, Prosepina, SunnieHope and to all sisters who are ttcing now, hold tight unto your dreams, stay positive and believe you can all do it! May all your dreams of holding your little ones in your arms be fulfilled very soon! Jiayou!

 

[reddesk]

I am really grateful for this forum!! I learn so much a lot, may God bless your heart in wanting a successful ivf for a healthy baby!

My work is pretty stressful too and I am also torn between balancing work and family but eventually I decide to continue work and doing ivf. It's a tough decision and my heart goes out to all of you in this same process!

Many times i want to post but 有心无力 cos I will be running to do things that crop up after reading then come back I forgot what I want to post so give up

Jia you Sunnie, Girl, aug cycle and all! Thanks mc for being around and help. I salute you!

Girl: we are very close to each other. I start on 9 aug.

Somehow, Dh and me feel maybe it's a good start to celebrate nation's birth w first jab though it means doing it ourselves even from first jab. I try to be positive about it. I thought it creates a start else I am still procrastinating tho we first told to do ivf in 2008. It's been a long time but I look back these years and realise though it was a struggle, we are better prepared. Ya, we took a long time. But better late than never. For us, we hold to the promise that God did promise us a child so we are looking forward ahead.

 

[verone_baby]

joyfully, thanks

So you are not working now?

 

[blur_xuan]

Jia you Babysmurf n all e sisters here... May all ur wishes come true n m here to spread my bbdust here again.. hehe.. ****_-**__**

 

[red_velvet]

Janbebe, wave and welcome. you can find the dos and don'ts, what and what not in this spreadsheet.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/lv?pli=1&hl=en_US&key=0Akn4rrFWhKUAdE51a1ZOc1RtQ21sR185Wm52a3daSmc&hl=en_US&f=true&noheader=true&gid=0


Joyfully, thanks for your recommendation. DH is keen to change since the cost is similar. Initially, he was not so keen to start FET so soon. Suddenly yesterday morning he asked me whether want to change hospital for FET wor. God surely works in miraculously way.

I will call Angela for a consult next week. BTW transport for frozen embryos is $150 and have to sign document for release and acceptance.

 

[adejoy]

Prosepina, yes I am not working now. I guess this works best for me now, as I can be lying down for the whole day as I always feel sleepy. In fact I can sleep better in the day time, as always need to wake up and pee in the middle of the night.

 

[verone_baby]

Joyfully, so good! i think when comes to career and family. Family will always come first. $$ can earn back, but forfeited 4 months maternity kind of heart pain also..haha

 

[adejoy]

Redvelvet, that's certainly good news!

Indeed, God works in a miraculous way.

Hope everything goes smoothly for you from now on! Jiayou girl!

 

[maggiemee22]

Thank you sisters here.. for all the advice...i agree money can earn back n health n stressfree most impt... during the process

 

[adejoy]

Prosepina, I agree with you. It's hard to make the decision to quit, especially since we are so used to earning our own money and to have a career.

I must admit that I feel worthless initially when I am still ttcing, as my self value is derived fr my career and income. Ha, i used to be very career minded and ambitious, likes drinking and travelling. When you have dual income with no kids, we can really spend on luxurious stuff n trips to pamper ourselves. It takes a while for me to adapt to the current lifestyle, and i have gotten used to it now. It was a big sacrifice, but God has made me realized that everything
is worth it now.

Our personal goals change in different stages of our lives. Guess at this stage, my maternal instinct just kicks in and I just want to have a kid to complete my family. Haha, in fact now I hope to have 4. But am old Liao and DH wasn't so keen. So shall just wait and see.

Take some time to explore the various options, consider all the pros and cons. Then, follow your heart. Your dreams will be fulfilled soon! Jiayou!

 

[luvnhope]

Joyfully, when did u quit ur job? Agree on the part abt personal goals during diff stages of life.

 

[sunstillshines]

Joyfully, I also quitted my job just to tcc.. many times, I feel that I become worthless...

Babysmurf, Luvnhope, I will be going for lap after consulting the doctor. Once af reports and cleared, I will be scheduled for lap. What a way to celebrate my birthday month! hahaha... Therefore, my plan to do 2nd fresh will be postponed again...

Asiafrighter, our age is not far apart! hahaha... which gynae are you with now? I am seeing Dr Loh now. He is my 6th or 7th gynae! Lost count already!

 

[snoopy77]

Joyfully, agree with Ur points!!

 

[luvnhope]

sunstillshines, any reason the doc recommended lap for you? Hope it'll mark the beginning of ur journey to success!

 

[adejoy]

Luv, I quit last year. Cos initially wanted to go for ivf in march. But got to postpone my cycle to June instead as my health condition wasnt as ideal as an ivf candidate, so Angela put me on 2 months plus of jabs before my cycle in June.

 

[eskimobaby]

i1bb, babysmurf and all sisters here.... your wishes will defnitely come true ya... jia you!

girl,
it's important to involve your hubby too so that he knows what you are going through. even if he's indifferent, drag him there and make him attend all appointments with you. did your hubby go for counselling session with you? My hubby was quite indifferent too when i told him about the doc recommending ivf, as the first few appointments i went alone. he didn't really know what the whole process is like. however, subsequently he did go with me and also the counselling. during the counselling session, he finally knew what it was all about and he could feel my stress. From then onwards, he was there for me all the way.

 

[luvnhope]

Joyfully, i see. All worth it!

 

[adejoy]

Sunstillshines, I feel that the part of feeling worthless when not working has got to do with govt's propaganda. Since young, we are taught to study hard, find a good job and earn a good income. Never once are we taught to be a good mother to stay at home and take care of kids. This explains why it will take a while for our mindset to change and get tuned to quit and stay at home.

Also, the standard of living is very high in singapore. It can be very tough to survive on single income especially since we also have to take care of our parents and in-laws. But there's a saying "船到桥头自然直＂. So we just have to make some adjustment and live to adapt. We women are strong fighters, so i believe we can all do it!