IVF/ICSI Support Group

jcml,

cool down. don;t get angry..sometime men are very one track..when talking abt work, nothng else will register one.

i understand how frustrating it can be when u took special efforts to cook for him and try to involve him as well.

dun take it to heart, maybe he has some issues at work.
 


tomatoes,

my yanzi always like that, esp. when that colleague called. He will be giving his full attention to this colleague and even if i died in front of him he also won't know. Now i so gek sim, this kind of pattern how to have bb with him. next time me and bb will have to wait until he finished his conversation then he will notice us
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Hi Jcml

Don gek sim lah, sayang sayang u. I duno u notice or not. Man can't do two things at a time, not like woman can multi-task. That is, when they doing sthing, is very difficult for us to get his attention. I notice this wif mnay men liao, including my hb. Thats y men r different fr women mah.
 
Jcml

Agree with P_Chip. I also hack care about my hb when he talks on the phone. He also sama sama as your yanzi. So you just ignore your yanzi also when he talks on the phone.
 
Jcml,
Teach you something. Next time he too engrossed in something else, and you hungry liao, you eat first.. Don't wait for him. At least you won't get sick / gastric pain.. a hungry woman is an angry woman. When he asks how come you never wait for him... tell him you're too hungry to wait loh.. He will also be paiseh one.

Don't take it that he's ignoring you. Like what potato chip and tomatoes said. Guys cannot do 2 things at a time one.

As for the plates and pots etc.. if you don't feel like washing, leave it till the next day. That's what i do sometimes. Don't want to spoil my own mood.

Tomatoes,
Thanks for the advice. I will certainly consider IUI.

Tnsw,
So nice to hear from you! The one at the basement not so many pple leh.. seems like the variety also not as much as the 2nd floor one...
 
bbmking,

to answer your qn, Dr Fong does IVF but i think the cost shld be more than 10K. He also does the IVF at CARE (Paragon)

P chip, tomatoes and tau huay

i guess you gals are right, men cannot do 2 things at the same time. Just like my yanzi, when we are in the midst of having dinner and this colleague (Mr X) called, he will walked away to a far far area and talked, as if so afraid i will listen to their converstion. it happened so many times that one of my fren also asked me how come he must walked so far away to talk when we were out for dinner. my yanzi would rather talk on the phone than having his dinner. i asked him why can't he just tell Mr X that he's having dinner but he said dun want...meaning he rather sacrifice dinner than not talking to Mr X
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sometimes Mr X will ask him out for coffee and he's very spontaneous, no matter how late. Several times he went out coffee with Mr X and came back past midnite and i also never said anything what....

then the housework he dun want to do, everything also i must ask him to help then he will do. if i never open my mouth to ask him to help he also will not automatically go and do. Several times my FIL came to my house and tell me off and said how come the windows not wiped, the sink not cleaned etc etc...my stupid yanzi just stood there and let my FIL tell me off. yesterday im so angry that i went to scrub the toilet bowl and floor, clean the shower screen, mopped the floor and clean the window grilles. my yanzi also never asked me why so late i still want to do all these chores. he juz went to shower and sleep liao.... i also wish i can be a man....
 
Jcml

Same lah... my yanzi exactly the same as yours... so I guess most it is common for men to react like this. For mine, I have long given up hope on him.

Sometimes, when I talk to him, it like a maid talking to her master.
 
Jcml,
Your yanzi considered good liao lah. When you ask him to do, at least he will do. Mine ah, can forget about it. Cos he will NEVER do one. Always say the floor is clean enuff what, what for mop. Stuff like that. Their tolerance level very high one.

My neighbour also commented yesterday that our gate is quite dusty, how come never wipe.. so kaypoh hoh.. It's not as if it's his house what. And we are working ok, he and his wife quite free one so of course they can do more housework lah.

And talking about him, you know what. Me and my hubby just came back right, then bumped into him at the corridor.. and he was just wearing his boxers! Like that still nevermind.. ok... then we started chit-chatting... and he didn't bother to go back and change into something more decent. All the while he was talking to us in his boxers.. I got embarassed after a while and went into my room. After a while his wife came out also, also started chatting.. also never tell her hubby his attire not right.. continued somemore.. wah liao.. how come they never notice something not right meh?!
 
jcml,
Cool down. I understand how you feel. When i cook, though it's rare, i'll expect him to finish every bit of the food, no leftovers. It's the trouble that we take buying the ingredients, thinking of what to cook, preparing the ingredients, & finally cooking them...i also expect my yan zi to wash up after dinner. In fact, i'll tell him when he finish eating that he'll have to wash up, so he won't just walk away expecting me to clean up...
Men has to be taught, then they'll learn!
But do not starve yourself waiting for me. If i were you, i'll just shove a note to him, while he's yaking on the phone, to tell him i huungry liao, will eat 1st!
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tomatoes,

how i wish i can also give up on my yanzi...if i give up liao it will means i find no meaning living with him anymore and i may move out of the house, dun want to have anything to do with him anymore.

tau huay,
your hb so ho mia, dun have to do housework ar, you very good hor, that's why i say you have a "xian qi liang mu" face mah
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but ur neighbour really kaypoh hor, your gates dusty he also noticed ar...really pei fu him...how old is your neighbour? eekks, how come only wear boxers still dare to come out of the house? tell him that wearing boxers machiam wearing underwear leh...so malu

Ad,
i also expect my yanzi to wash up after makan but who knows, he expect me to wash up coz he wants to continue his conversation. i can tell you, im not goin to make the efforts to cook for him again. im very sian and sad, the whole house is in a mess and he doesn't even bothered to help me clean. expects me to clean and he just leave his things lying all over the place. im right in quitting my job coz i can be a full time maid liao, somemore no need Sundays off...
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hi potato chips,
Thanks for ya encouragement!

hi babymaking,

Yeah I am with Dr Fong Yang @ Paragon. He was recommended by the JE Doctor. Previously I was with other gynaes, including KKh. I have been trying for almost 8 years and my previous gynae said that my PCOS is so bad that the chances of me conceiving is zero percent. I was pregnant naturally at 21 but had to abort. The last solution KK gave me was SO-IUI/IVF and they scheduled me for couselling this Aug. Years before Dr. CT Yeong oso said I need SO IUI. They let me try clomid at 150mg for few cycles but nebber worked. I went to Rosalind Chong at ME and after 3 cycles of clomid oso nebber worked.

The JE physician keeps encouraging me to go for SO-IUI so I decided to pay Dr. FY a visit. Sick of going to KK because even paying non-subsidised rate, I always had to wait a long time to see e doc, then wait to pay for consultation and to walk to another level to WAIT for medication. Such a waste of time 4 me.

babymaking, wait for the Dr. to suggest IVF. I told Dr Fong abt KK's next plan for me. He asked me to try another round of clomid as it is a cheaper alternative to see if it worked before going for SO-IUI. It failed so I proceeded to SO-IUI. The JE physician and Dr Fong did warn me the chances of me converting to IVF is very high because as a PCO patient, I would produce many follicles. I was devastated and utterly disappointed when I knew I have to take IVF as my last straw. I betcha some of you know how I felt at that time.

Today I kiasu and bought another brand of preg test and it showed a clearer positive result again. Both DH and I try not to be overly excited till e blood test tomorrow. Imagine going thru so much and I can at least see positive result. At the same time I am worried that I will have a miscarriage if tested positive.

IVF/ICSI fees will depend how much injections and medication you need. Doc told me mine should be abt 7-8K before medisave. Payment is a bit confusing though as I have paid abt $2K cash to clinic and $3k as deposit to Mt. E. Anyway, it is best for you to ask DR to give u a clearer quotation.

Oh yes, I visit the JE diligently for a few mths before going IVF. Actually very sick of taking chinese medication thrice daily for 3-4 mths and travelling there but I told myself to perserve.

One thing abt Mt. E Fertility centre is that they called me at least a few times to shower their concern. The senior nurse and most staff are very very nice. Cross my heart.
 
jcml,
dun despair. you sure you really want to quit this job ah?
If you really wanna become a full time maid at home, make sure your yan zi pays you hor....hee...
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go shop till you drop today la, sure will be happier after that! i always do that! haha!!
 
jcml

I give up on my yanzi is that I dun expect him to do housework anymore. If he wants to do, he will do it. If he doesn't, no point I order him cos I know it will end up in quarrel. So sometimes when I am too tired, I dun do hsework also. Just let them get dirty.

I read a book, it says when you have a bb, we must learnt how to close 1 eye to the hsework.
 
jcml

hehe, if I were you, I will take $50 from him and hire a part time maid to do housework infront of him.

Sometimes guys will not think of how much hurculean effort you have done to cook for him, they will think of eating outside if they r tired than to wash up. in their mind they will think : "Who ask you to cook and expect me to clean?"
 
Ad,
Hope I can learn from you how you get your hubby to wash up the dishes. Cos I can never get mine to do it. I buy the food, I prepare, cook, and after eating, I still have to wash. Not to mention other housework that I need to do, ok.. Ask him to do ah, he will become sooo reluctant. And end up both also not happy...
 
TH,
Maybe cos i seldom cook, so if i tell yan zi i'm cooking, he'll look forward to dinner...then he'll eat happily. Then, oncec he finishes dinner, i'll tell him sweetly, that i very tired liao, does he mind washing the dishes? I'll look at him with those ke lian expression...then he'll budge....haha! i very good at that!
 
Ad,
Ha ha... that's a good idea.. you know what makes him tick!

But I think this trick won't work on mine leh. Cos I also tell him I very tired and he will say he just came back from work... even more tired. Actually he is just plain lazy. Too pampered when he was young. Youngest child of 5 kids. Never need to lift a finger to do anything.

Jcml has gone shopping liao? Hope she'll feel better after her shopping spree...
 
Ad,

me cannot take half day today coz my boss asked me to do some report for him...sian, alrdy demoralized liao still cannot go on leave.

i bo bian have to stay at home after quitting coz nobody wants to employ me. i told my yanzi if i stayed at home he has to give me at least $1000 per month and he has to let me use the car as well but i gotta cook for him and do all the housework lor... think there's really no free lunch in this world, everything must come with a price...

tomatoes
i really admire you, can close 1 eye.... i cannot leh, i cannot tahan my stupid yanzi not doing anything at all....after all the house is not mine alone and if he does not help with the housework at least dun contribute to the untidyness but he still anyhow leave his things around and the socks also anyhow throw, see alrdy very pek chey coz the socks so smelly!!

pebbles,
$50 enough to hire part time maid? i rather he pay me $$ to do housework
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next time if i do IVF sure nobody look after me and cook for me one...maybe can't even have proper bedrest coz got to do housework
 
TH,
my yan zi also. He comes from a typical teochew upbringing. Yi lai shen shou, fan lai zhang kou....after after he married me, his life turned for the worst!!! Hahaha!!!
 
Tau huay,

i really really think you are "xian qi liang mu" leh, do all the housework and no grumbles somemore...good good
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my yanzi also very pampered coz he's the second youngest out of 10 children and his father favours sons more than daughters. that's why i always kena from my FIL if he comes to my house. he will never never scold his son and everytime come to my house will definately have something to pick on me...last time when im not married i also never do housework what and my mum didn't even scold me but my FIL machiam emperor, like to tell me off, very sian.
 
P Chip,
I sa3 jiao1 ah... wah liao.. he even more deh2 than me sometimes leh. Got 1 time I tested him by leaving the dishes in the sink for 1-2 days, he won't wash means he won't wash. In the end it's still me.

Then there was once when I asked him to mop the floor. See how he did it I almost fainted. Instead of using his hands to squeeze the mop drier, he used his feet to step on it. Then the water dripped everywhere. And normally we'll just walk backwards as we mop right, he'll mop a bit here, a bit there, and walk back again.. in the end his dirty feet stepped on the area he had just wiped clean. I see already cannot tahan, asked him to stop. At least when I do the mopping I also won't feel so frustrated. Ha ha..
 
jcml,
i also told my yan zi the same thing...he actually asked me to stop working, i say can, give me S$1k for expenses lor...then he say, ok, i take back my words...haha!!! So that's why now i'm still working, though part time....
 
Aiyo see all yr yanzi lidat, I suddenly feel I m so lucky lei. Mayb u all can try my method. hehehehe..

I oso used to mop the floor till my yanzi tak boleh tahan me, hehehehehe.. Actually, I din do it on purpose, just tat I duno y I so lousy lor. Guess wat. My yanzi oways complain tat after I mopped the floor, de floor is so wet n very slippery. I oready use all my guni lak to dry the mop, but is still wet lei, I really bo bian lor. So nowaday, my hb incharge of the floor, I in charge of all other cleanings. As for cooking, so happen tat my yanzi likes cooking too. So if I want him to involve hor, I will introduce new dish lor. He will b very excited to learn new dish. So normally, end up I used my mouth to give instructions, n he do the cooking. And I will do the pre n post cleaning. Actually, he oso don mind to clean up the dishes but I prefer to do it myself, cos I like to hv a clean kitchen. He will help to mop the kitchen.

Don envy me hor, cos he used to mop floor for his parents before married. Even now, he will still help to mop floor them when he is free. Ok, enuff of my yanzi.
 
Ad,

our great minds think alike, kekeke
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my yanzi also said can give me the $$ every month and i must make sure he honour his words but all the housework will be done by me liao...i dun care, im goin to throw all his things away and see if he dare to anyhow leave his things or not...

tau huay,
my yanzi mopped floor also very jiat lak one, clean one part then suddenly go and clean another part, in the end his dirty footprints is all over the place, make me more frustrated instead. somemore he very lazy one, everytime clean the floor will use mop but for me i always use a piece of cloth to clean the floor...ask him to use cloth machiam want his life like that, keep complaining, so in the end also i clean...aiyah

tomatoes
come to think of it, $1K like not alot leh...have to clean the house, cook for him, wash the clothes and somemore at nite must provide bed activity...hmmm, like not very worth it, really cheap labour. i whole day stay in the office and surf net also can take back more than $2.5K liao
 
Potato Chip

Any thoughts of putting up your yanzi for grabs? I will be the 1st to grab! Aiyo... such good yanzi extinct liao....!!!

Or I should say you really know how to manage him. hehehehe
 
Yah loh. So envious of P Chip. Guess it's a lot depends on the way they are brought up hoh. Otherwise have to be like Ad, know how to manage the yanzi.

But of course there are times when he will do things for me, esp driving me around. I'm his maid cum cook cum... and he's my driver. So come to think of it, it's still quite ok lah.

Jcml,
wow, you so hardworking. Use cloth to mop floor... tiring leh and knees painful also..
 
P_Chip,
So you bluff me ah...say your house very messy...but now you say you like to have a clean kitchen...meaning you have a messy but clean house is it?? Haha
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or a messy house but a clean kitchen???
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P chip
wow ur yanzi so good hor...i think next time if i have son i also want to train him to do housework so that next time his wife will have an easier life, kekeke
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Tau Huay
i dunno leh, i prefer to use cloth coz i see the mop very yucky and i dun dare to use my hand to wring it dry. ya, use cloth very siong, i wipe the whole house will take me around 1.5 hrs to finish...furthermore sometimes will slip also coz the kneecaps very slippery and wet :p
 
Tomatoes

I still think tat every yanzi got their good side lah. Like yr yanzi, at least he brought u to expensive restaurant. I think, we will never be contented wif wat wif have, sigh...
 
Ad.

The last one is rite. My whole hse is very messy, including kitchen. But I need to kitchen to be clean cos I don want to take in food tat will cos us TLS. Anyway, in short, I don like to hv an oily kitchen.
 
P_chip,
So the kitchen will be the only place, if we get to go your house, where we can open both our eyes to see one isiit ? The rest of the house we'll need to close both eyes ?? haha!!
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But hor, i dun believe your house is very messy lor...since you yan zi likes sweeping & mopping the floor & you do the rest of the cleaning...
 
Agree with Ad. lor. P_Chip house must be very clean
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Btw, gals, Secret Receipe having 50% of their whole cakes during Oct... remember to grab hor!
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Harlow ladies,

my yz is a 'shao ye' b4 married hor coz he is the only child, so very pampered...but after married he undergo my training, now he do all the hosework and I'm exempted for 9mths....haha...want to send all ur yz to my me, and i train them for 1 mth...
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ET,

i think the morale is either i send my yanzi to you for training or i go and get preggie, hopefully can change things...but now i dun want his birdnest liao, make me so fed up that the thot of collecting birdnest from him makes me puke
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hi jcml

Those part time where they charge by hourly basis. At least he feels the pinch seeing that he has to pay the maid ten bucks per hour.

Me only in charge of washing clothes n cooking at home. If i cook hubby will wash the stove each time becos he cannot stand an oily stove. Normally he will volunteer to wash dishes.

Most men are like yours so dun get upset.
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You can tell them umpteen times and they are jus unwillingly to share burden.
 
Ad.

You are so slim and still scare of putting on weight? Alamak....

jcml

Tomorrow or tonite go spend using his card account. Let him feel the pinch! kekekeke
 
hi pebbles

how i wish i can be a man....haiz...everything also bo chap...but some men very good leh, like P chip hb. your hb also good, know how to automatically clean the stove. if i never clean my stove i think nobody will clean liao and when emperor comes to my house i will kena again...ok, dun want to talk abt that fellow liao, very sian alrdy
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tomatoes
i think i will go and sign another spa package tomolo and make him pay for it!! it's going to cost him at least $1k plus but i heck care. Im also not going to BD with him for this whole month. heck care liao
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tomatoes,
you're not in a position to say i scared of putting on weight lor...you're so much slimmer than me!!!
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And you're a mother of one liao, whereas i have not even an egg.....
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jcml,
SPEND SPEND SPEND!!! SPEND his money!!!
And deprive him!!! Haha!! Let him know it's not wise to make a woman unhappy, especially the woman is the wife!
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tomatoes,
i think it's still not wise to buy the cake...my yan zi bringing me dinner tonight...but refused to tell me where, asked me dun ask, he'll bring me...just told me western food....hee...hope it's gonna be good!
 

jcml

Most men are like tat one lah, mine oso mop floor but everytime mop till very wet n got few times i fall down leh pain till cant stand up then i scold him hor if i pregnant hor gone case liao then now improve a bit liao, we oso everytime do hsework will quarrel one, sometimes ask men to do hsework oso have to close 1 eye if not you will sure "qi kong liu xue"
 
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