hi Shameful Hubby
i give you my 2 cents ok?
Questions:
1) What is the driving force for partners to take the first steps? How partners come into consenses that IVF is for you?
For my case, trying over 1 year and still no results was the driving force to take the first steps and find out why, whats wrong etc ... after we found out and understand better, we reviewed our options and because we didnt want to waste time and money, we opted rightaway for ivf as it offered highest success rate compared to other options like iui or so-iui. Of course we also asked doc whether is ivf the best option for us.
2) Well, the IVF cycle is bias in the sense that woman had to suffer more. What do you gals expect the husband to do. What role must hubby play? Whats your mind set on this? How you convinces yourself to ject yourself.
Its true that gals suffer more, we have to jab ourselves and even after the transfer, we have to take special care since a baby is inside. We have to be subjected to effects of hormones changes. All these impact not just the body but also the mind. Husbands cant relieve our physical suffering but husbands can give load so moral support and tender loving care. You can try to be more attentive to your wife's needs be it even small things like bring her water to drink or massage her back or legs after lying too much in bed. You can buy her food for her meals. You can help her remember the timings to take medicine etc ... You can find entertainment for her like rent some DVDs or borrow some books. All you can simply just be around. It touches me alot when my hubby postponed 2 weeks of meeting up with friends just to be around me more during my 2ww. Husband really just gotta be more sensitive and supportive at this point. Smile more and stay more positive than your wife.
3) Any gals had failed IVF cycle/s. It must be very sad right? After all the hard work, $$, time spent. How you get over it? What you most want to do at that moment or days that follows. What you may expect your hubby to do at that point of time or the followings.
Well, i guess we will cry, will be emotional, will even be irritable. At this point, it helps if husbands just willingly be the punchbag if need be and dont take things personal. Wife still have alot of left over hormones in the wreck after a failed cycle. Or simply be more comforting and encouraging and help your wife look forward to next steps.
4) "Well, if failed, lifes still continue right?" Easy say then done. Do you all continue a following IVF? Anyone stopped trying? Anyone go for adoption? What gives you the power to continue/stop/adopt? What i mean is how you adjust your mindset?
For me, i never stop trying thats why i am still here. You can discuss with your wife. It takes the both of you to decide how much to try and for how long. For me, my hb and i decided we will just keep trying till our subsidies are exhausted or we have aged too much. By then at least we can tell ourselves we have tried our darnest best. Then it makes it easier to swallow if we have to live a life childless or even adopt. We are open to adoption just that now we want to take all chances while we still can to try to have our own first.
Hey, you shouldnt call yourself shameful. You are not and commendable in fact that you care enough to find out more and be prepared for this journey with your wifey!
Regards
Seed
BFP BFP BFP!
