Heartbroken

Then ask yourself how your suspicions will stop? Transfer the house to your name? This is also a test.
The suspicions will not stop with more tests. If he clears one, the instinct is to use more tests as prove.

No need to transfer house to my name as well. To be fair, he has contributed his fair share to the house.

The only road to recovery is to be positive and move on.
 

Eppy

Member
The suspicions will not stop with more tests. If he clears one, the instinct is to use more tests as prove.

No need to transfer house to my name as well. To be fair, he has contributed his fair share to the house.

The only road to recovery is to be positive and move on.
Great, you found your answer.
 

Stansy

Member
I could only curse all the fuxking 小三s burn to hell & die terribly!!!! Truly hate all the fuxking Ah Tiongs (am sorry for the innocent ones) .... leaving their other half in China and here to destroy other people’s family/life. BURNT ALL CB AH TIONGS TO HELL!!!!
 

margret

Active Member
I could only curse all the fuxking 小三s burn to hell & die terribly!!!! Truly hate all the fuxking Ah Tiongs (am sorry for the innocent ones) .... leaving their other half in China and here to destroy other people’s family/life. BURNT ALL CB AH TIONGS TO HELL!!!!
u not angry with your husband?
 

Stansy

Member
u not angry with your husband?
Hi Margret, I will be a liar if I said no... since he had shown remorseful & begged for forgiveness... wanting to salvage the marriage so i decided to forgive him but it’s difficult to forget. However, for the sake of my kids and to salvage the marriage we are working on it and moving on for the better.
 
Hi,

Its been a long time since I last posted. I thought I was recovering and all things were good.

A few days ago, my hubby told me he needs to be on duty. (He is in defence.) Today, my kids asked him where he would sleep, he was explaining to them vividly when do army personnel slp when they are on duty. He had since left for his duty this afternoon and just now, I found out that he was lying. His passport is not at home.

I am very upset. Just when I told everything will be fine, this happened. Im the greatest fool on earth.
 

margret

Active Member
I understand how u feel. being betray and hurt again and again.
I feel you should have to stop it, as he secretly might be still doing some stuffs behind your back but he have being clever in covering his tracks
 

Stansy

Member
Hi,

Its been a long time since I last posted. I thought I was recovering and all things were good.

A few days ago, my hubby told me he needs to be on duty. (He is in defence.) Today, my kids asked him where he would sleep, he was explaining to them vividly when do army personnel slp when they are on duty. He had since left for his duty this afternoon and just now, I found out that he was lying. His passport is not at home.

I am very upset. Just when I told everything will be fine, this happened. Im the greatest fool on earth.
Dun jump to conclusion yet till u checked his passport (see any custom stamped) when he’s backed.
 
Last edited:
Hi,

Its been a long time since I last posted. I thought I was recovering and all things were good.

A few days ago, my hubby told me he needs to be on duty. (He is in defence.) Today, my kids asked him where he would sleep, he was explaining to them vividly when do army personnel slp when they are on duty. He had since left for his duty this afternoon and just now, I found out that he was lying. His passport is not at home.

I am very upset. Just when I told everything will be fine, this happened. Im the greatest fool on earth.
you can always call im after a few hours after he left... see if his ringtone is local or overseas... if he uses those bye bye ring ring tone than too bad cant catch...

But well, a leopard will not change its spot... if he wanna change and cherish the chance given... he would have done it long ago... maybe during the 2nd time..

and worse you caught him 4th times... Mine that time also keep begging, kneel down and have tears lor.. while still considering, he still can go out with that woman... and i caught him 2nd time.. both times were different woman.... so starting of the year i am very firm in leaving... and i did... previously he jus wanted me back cos there will be someone looking after my son, and he still can see my son everyday and there will be me taking care of the house.. while he? happy outside... he think i stupid...
 

inferior

New Member
I hope the b***h will suck the idiot dry in money and in energy.. let he gets his STD.. and I will just stand there to see him suffer and no support from me.
Hate him so much!!!!
 

Lostsoul&rain

New Member
Hi Chelsa1980,
I had rather similar stories as you, when i found out my husband downloaded LINE in his phone straight after his work- drinking activities. I wanted to take the phone and check but straight away he go to the toilet to delete all the msges. All the evidence gone.
And he was just trying to come with more excuses to hide. During that period, i cried everynight to slp, feeling super paranoid.
Till now, the scars is still there.
 
Hi Chelsa1980,
I had rather similar stories as you, when i found out my husband downloaded LINE in his phone straight after his work- drinking activities. I wanted to take the phone and check but straight away he go to the toilet to delete all the msges. All the evidence gone.
And he was just trying to come with more excuses to hide. During that period, i cried everynight to slp, feeling super paranoid.
Till now, the scars is still there.
Actually can take his phone to see when he is deep asleep... i usually do that last time... and i really found out alot of secrets... no time for them to delete cos i random check and is during his sleep
 

Lostsoul&rain

New Member
Yes, i still check on his phone when hes asleep, so he cant do anythg. And i still find out he add random girls on fb, is it even normal for guys to do that when hes alrdy married?
 

inferior

New Member
He visits prostitutes. So difficult to catch him or know when he will be going. Is 1 hour to short to does his business with the prostitute?
 

Stansy

Member
He visits prostitutes. So difficult to catch him or know when he will be going. Is 1 hour to short to does his business with the prostitute?
How do u know tt he used ‘public toilet’? Have u ever think of hiring a professional PI to gather solid evidence? I dun think the evidence is solid enough for court even tho u r able to obtain fm his HP
 

inferior

New Member
1) he changed his password to fingerprint
2) he comes home late like midnight and claims it's for work
3) he goes everywhere with his hp. And when I am near he will close the app or the hp
4) at times, he speaks in and with some Mainland Chinese accent and vocabulary
5) never volunteer to offer me money to buy things like kopi and suddenly asked me and offer me a $5 notes when I said I have no money with me. Then never bother to ask for the changes. His old self would never ask and even if he did, he would want the changes back
6) and many more.
But what trigger me, I found 4 Remenafil pill which is sex pill. The prescription said half pill. And now only last half pill left.
And I am sure he didnt use it for me cos we haven't have sex for many years.
I got a PI. No result yet. I dont know when he needs to visit one. Please help!!
 

Caramel_gal

New Member
I mean can you really blame him for cheating? Man are man after all, they only cheat if they can't get what they want at home.
 

margret

Active Member
Thank you, margret!
I believe he is a guy trying to stir up trouble. in other thread he say insulted others.
we are here to support each other.
if men are looking for new people for sex are we suppose to allow him to do that at home or bring the prostitutes home? nonsense!
 

Drain

Member
Dear Lostsoul&rain,

Well, for deleted message, you can retrieve it from the phone, if he haven't empty the trash. Google out, and you will know how to restore/retrieve the message.
As for adding girls in FB, it really depending. I do at times add random people (guys and gals) in facebook as well, mainly for gaming purpose. Though most are girls sometimes but of course, there are guys as well. However 90% of them I don't even know whom they are.


Dear Inferior,

For your case, maybe you wanna ask why he changed to fingerprint if he have nothing to hide. Tell him that he can access your phone too if he want, since you have nothing to hide as well. As of visiting prostitute, how sure are you that he does that? Maybe he visited those massage parlour (with special) as well? Since you have engaged PI, then nothing much can be done, but to wait till PI gather the evidence.
 
Guys got chance can cheat they cheat... got nth to do with whether at home got sex anot.. even the wife is perfect they wan cheat they still will...
 

johntan68

Member
Hi Chelsa1980,
I had rather similar stories as you, when i found out my husband downloaded LINE in his phone straight after his work- drinking activities. I wanted to take the phone and check but straight away he go to the toilet to delete all the msges. All the evidence gone.
And he was just trying to come with more excuses to hide. During that period, i cried everynight to slp, feeling super paranoid.
Till now, the scars is still there.
Hi, just to share, i also downloaded wechat in my phone for chatting and calls with China customers. Whatapps is blocked in China and requires VPN, even so, it is not stable. So what I'm saying, there is possibilities for work purposes..... anyway if my other half(if i have) wants to see my wechat, i will be happy to show her, just that whatever info need to be NDA; otherwise, i will prefer to not reveal to her as some businesses are confidential.
 

Stansy

Member
Hi, just to share, i also downloaded wechat in my phone for chatting and calls with China customers. Whatapps is blocked in China and requires VPN, even so, it is not stable. So what I'm saying, there is possibilities for work purposes..... anyway if my other half(if i have) wants to see my wechat, i will be happy to show her, just that whatever info need to be NDA; otherwise, i will prefer to not reveal to her as some businesses are confidential.
Hi John, I totally agreed w u. If u hv nothing to hide by all means show hand but sad to say tt when men uses “public toilet” they dun hv the balls to show it instead they deleted it or hv a spare HP.
In my POV, if a man wants to cheat it doesn’t need to be WeChat, it can be any form of social media platforms eg FB, Instagram & etc
Sigh....
 

Stansy

Member
Guys got chance can cheat they cheat... got nth to do with whether at home got sex anot.. even the wife is perfect they wan cheat they still will...
Aiya... am asshole is always an asshole. Just cannot keep their dick inside the pants. They think tt they hv truly found their true love... good luck to them lor. Not till when they are old, sick & kenna sucks dried dried left w nothing
Just watch... the dog men & bitches will have their karma soon
 

Caramel_gal

New Member
Both parties must come to agreement that both are equally at fault. Not point in playing the blame game or victim here. what you should do is sit down and talk things out with him. ask him how can you guys move forward from this and how can you guy work together to improve on this so that it will never happy again.
 

bretrayed

Member
so a men go and cheat or find a 3rd party both at fault?
what kind 9f logic are u talking about? maybe you are the one who cheated on your husband/wife that why u want to be forgived and cant sleep in the middle of the night and talk nonsense.
 

margret

Active Member
Both parties must come to agreement that both are equally at fault. Not point in playing the blame game or victim here. what you should do is sit down and talk things out with him. ask him how can you guys move forward from this and how can you guy work together to improve on this so that it will never happy again.
read this to wake you up por make u shut up with your stupid logic. this is real world not what u see in television drama so happy ending!

SINGAPORE - A financial director's attempt at a quick divorce, claiming that his wife of more than three decades had behaved unreasonably, was rebuffed in court.

The high-income, 59-year-old had blamed his wife for the breakdown in their marriage, claiming that she, a devout Buddhist and a strict vegetarian, had less time for him.

Among other things, he said that after entrusting her income to him for 30 years, she opted to manage her own income and contribute to family expenses separately.

But in judgment grounds earlier this month explaining her decision last year, District Judge Cheryl Koh told him he has to wait out the mandatory separation period to obtain the formal split.

She said at issue was whether the wife's conduct "should be construed as unreasonable, when it is the husband who has impregnated a younger woman and wished to extricate himself out of the marriage immediately".

The man did not deny the affair with a woman from Shanghai, in her 30s, but said the relationship started in 2010, after the marriage with his 57-year-old financial controller wife deteriorated.

Judge Koh ruled there was to be no quick divorce.

"The husband ultimately owed it to his wife of 35 years and mother of his three adult children to wait out the three or four years' separation required by law for a divorce on a no-fault basis, instead of blaming her for the breakdown of the marriage," she said.

The man filed for divorce in December 2016 on grounds that his wife had become overly engrossed with practising her Buddhist religion to the extent that she had neglected the husband's feelings and needs, among other things.

The wife, defended by lawyer Narayanan Vijya Kumar, countered that she and her husband were both Buddhists, and the religious sessions for her and her children were beneficial and positive.

The wife added that he was hardly at home and returned home late most of the time, especially after 2014, when she said he became involved with the woman from Shanghai.

The couple have known each other since childhood and pursued their university education in New Zealand. They were married there in May 1982.

Judge Koh was not convinced by the husband's claims, ruling it was not unreasonable for a spouse to continue to practise religious beliefs just because "the other spouse did not believe or practise to the same extent".

The husband had been taking part in the activities at a religious centre with the family since 2006, but stopped in 2010.

Judge Koh noted the woman from Shanghai had come to Singapore with her spouse and child. When she became pregnant around 2016 with the plaintiff's child, the hospital called the woman's husband by mistake.

The judge, in underscoring the "husband's predicament", said it must be "extremely trying" for the husband to start a new family again with his expectant girlfriend and was "yet unable to extricate himself from the perceived shackles of his unwanted marriage".

But she stressed divorce laws are meant to safeguard the sanctity of the institution of marriage as a cornerstone of Singapore society.

"If a spouse decided one day that he wished to move on with a third party, it did not mean that the spouse could abuse the court system by suddenly recalling all the alleged past instances of unreasonable behaviour by the other spouse for the past ten years or so, which he had apparently tolerated and lived with for the entire period, just so that he could immediately extricate himself out of his marriage."

"The wife believed that the Shanghai lady was only after the husband's money, and the husband would eventually realise the folly of his ways and return home after the divorce is dismissed. Only time will tell if the wife is correct," wrote Judge Koh.

The husband, represented by lawyer Low Jin Liang, is appealing.
 

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