Hi everyone,
I wonder if anyone feels the same way i do? Full time working mom and leaving the kids to a helper/nanny?
I am divorced and have 2 girls aged 7 and 5 (P1 and K1). My ex hb and I divorced about 3 years ago but we're still on good terms for the kids. Kids are under my care and control and we have joint custody.
My elder daughter has just entered P1 this year. With homework, the education system and increasing presence of peer pressure, I can't help but worry though I understand it's part of the growing up phase. I am a full time working mom - my official hours are 10am to 7pm and on average I reach home about 8 to 830pm daily. I don't get to spend much time with my 2 girls when I get home as they need to get to bed by about 930pm (9pm would actually be ideal). I have a helper who picks up my kids from school and childcare and of course settles their meals.
It's a daily grind as I check on homework and ask them about their day when I get home. Shortly after it's time to brush up and get to bed. There is no time for a game of Uno, Snake and Ladders or drawing and coloring with me. Sometimes, there is simply no time for them to show me and tell me about the drawing they did. Given the lack of time I have with my kids, i thus make it a point to send both of them to school in the morning, having that 5 to 10 minutes of walking time together is better than nothing even though I need to wake 2 hours earlier than supposed to. My elder one watches tv mostly (Okto, Netflix) after she has her lunch, showered and does her homework (she waits for me if she doesnt know how to do it). My maid tries to tell her not to watch so much but my kid doesn't listen.
I was on leave for the last 1 week and had the chance to pick them both from school. I am usually at the school 5 minutes before dismissal and I am surrounded mostly by grandparents and domestic helpers, and a a small handful of moms. I was able to be part of the 'Mom' group for that week, but knew that soon my helper would be the one picking my child again. When classes were released, the joy of seeing my elder girl in glee when she spotted me at the parents waiting area was priceless. I hadn't told her I was picking her and the look of happiness on her was simply blissful. She told me all about her day at school on the way home.
In the last 2 days, she has asked me to drop her off outside the school gate instead of walking her in. She said that some of her friends are being dropped outside the school, and i guess she wanted to follow suit. Peer pressure was simply evident now combined with a sign of her growing up and not wanting me to walk her in anymore. I thought this would only happen at P5 or P6 ... maybe times have changed.
Much as I wish to be at SAHM for my kids, my circumstance do not allow me to. I definitely need to work as my ex husband only contributes his 50% share for the maid's salary, kids insurances and childcare fee for my K1 girl. In all he gives about $800 per month and of course I have other liabilities as well such as domestic bills, education fees and so on. I am hoping to work from home or have flexible working hours.... Sadly there is nothing much I can do except to squeeze out whatever time there is for them. Yet I feel guilty for not being there in the important years..
Does anyone encounter this too and how do you manage?
Thanks for reading.
I wonder if anyone feels the same way i do? Full time working mom and leaving the kids to a helper/nanny?
I am divorced and have 2 girls aged 7 and 5 (P1 and K1). My ex hb and I divorced about 3 years ago but we're still on good terms for the kids. Kids are under my care and control and we have joint custody.
My elder daughter has just entered P1 this year. With homework, the education system and increasing presence of peer pressure, I can't help but worry though I understand it's part of the growing up phase. I am a full time working mom - my official hours are 10am to 7pm and on average I reach home about 8 to 830pm daily. I don't get to spend much time with my 2 girls when I get home as they need to get to bed by about 930pm (9pm would actually be ideal). I have a helper who picks up my kids from school and childcare and of course settles their meals.
It's a daily grind as I check on homework and ask them about their day when I get home. Shortly after it's time to brush up and get to bed. There is no time for a game of Uno, Snake and Ladders or drawing and coloring with me. Sometimes, there is simply no time for them to show me and tell me about the drawing they did. Given the lack of time I have with my kids, i thus make it a point to send both of them to school in the morning, having that 5 to 10 minutes of walking time together is better than nothing even though I need to wake 2 hours earlier than supposed to. My elder one watches tv mostly (Okto, Netflix) after she has her lunch, showered and does her homework (she waits for me if she doesnt know how to do it). My maid tries to tell her not to watch so much but my kid doesn't listen.
I was on leave for the last 1 week and had the chance to pick them both from school. I am usually at the school 5 minutes before dismissal and I am surrounded mostly by grandparents and domestic helpers, and a a small handful of moms. I was able to be part of the 'Mom' group for that week, but knew that soon my helper would be the one picking my child again. When classes were released, the joy of seeing my elder girl in glee when she spotted me at the parents waiting area was priceless. I hadn't told her I was picking her and the look of happiness on her was simply blissful. She told me all about her day at school on the way home.
In the last 2 days, she has asked me to drop her off outside the school gate instead of walking her in. She said that some of her friends are being dropped outside the school, and i guess she wanted to follow suit. Peer pressure was simply evident now combined with a sign of her growing up and not wanting me to walk her in anymore. I thought this would only happen at P5 or P6 ... maybe times have changed.
Much as I wish to be at SAHM for my kids, my circumstance do not allow me to. I definitely need to work as my ex husband only contributes his 50% share for the maid's salary, kids insurances and childcare fee for my K1 girl. In all he gives about $800 per month and of course I have other liabilities as well such as domestic bills, education fees and so on. I am hoping to work from home or have flexible working hours.... Sadly there is nothing much I can do except to squeeze out whatever time there is for them. Yet I feel guilty for not being there in the important years..
Does anyone encounter this too and how do you manage?
Thanks for reading.