How was your experience with them? Did you get good result from first IVF?
Conceiving as a single woman
- Thread starter Narrisa
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- ivf single mother single mum
shirleenkoh
New Member
Add me please too.
I maybe a little late. But is there a chat group on this? If so I would love to be part of the group.
SHeartBreak
New Member
Hi, I have not been successful with a relationship as well.
Would love to join the chat group! Please add me!
Am interested to find out more before proceeding as well. Would be great if I could get recommendations
thank you
Would love to join the chat group! Please add me!
Am interested to find out more before proceeding as well. Would be great if I could get recommendations
thank you
Angel Trishia
New Member
add me to pls
Kaninana21
Member
Dear ladies, still thinking hard over choice between Caucasian and Asian egg donor.
My Husband says that he does not mind, and even prefer a Caucasian egg donor, because he thinks that a mixed-race Eurasian baby is more cute and beautiful.
However, I am hesitant, as our entire circle of friends, relatives and extended family in Singapore are all Asian, which may cause social stigma.
Here is an interesting article which says that mainland China women who opt for single motherhood prefer a Caucasian sperm donor, even though Chinese sperm donors are available.
Hope you can share your views:
Unmarried Chinese women seeking sperm from Caucasian donors
Unmarried Chinese women seeking sperm from Caucasian donors
BEIJING: Looking at page after page of childhood photos, Xiaogunzhu was drawn to an image of a French-Irish boy with smiling dark blue eyes.www.nst.com.my
BEIJING: Looking at page after page of childhood photos, Xiaogunzhu was drawn to an image of a French-Irish boy with smiling dark blue eyes.
But she was not admiring her lover’s family album, she was browsing a catalogue of potential sperm donors – the 39-year-old is one of an increasing number of affluent single women in China that are seeking a child, but not a husband.
Unmarried women in China are largely barred from accessing sperm banks and in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment, forcing them to seek options abroad.
Her choice made – donor #14471 on the website of a Californian sperm bank – Xiaogunzhu flew to the US to begin the first rounds of treatment.
“There are many women who won’t get married, so they might not fulfil this fundamental biological mission,” Xiaogunzhu told AFP, using the name she blogs under to avoid any negative attention.
“But I felt another path had opened up,” she added.
Her baby, now 9 months old, is called Oscar after a character in a comic about the French revolution – a nod to the donor’s French ancestry.
The marriage rate in China has been in decline over the last five years. Last year, only 7.2 out of 1,000 people got married, according to official statistics.
Educated professional women face “discrimination” when seeking spouses, explained sociologist Sandy To, as their male partners have “difficulty accepting their higher educational or economic accomplishments.”
But many feel that struggling to find or simply not wanting a partner should not preclude them from motherhood.
Xiaogunzhu believes a father isn’t necessary – her own was controlling and often angry, dimming her view of the traditional family set-up.
“Why does everyone think that children will ask: ‘why don’t I have a father?’” she said.
Analysts predict that the total market in China for fertility services will reach US$1.5 billion in 2022 – more than double its 2016 value.
But demand for services overseas for Chinese nationals is also booming.
Danish sperm and egg bank Cryos International has created a Chinese website and added Chinese-speaking staff. American and European sperm banks told AFP that they have increasing numbers of Chinese clients.
But the journey is neither cheap nor easy.
China’s national health department stipulates that the purpose of sperm banks is for “treating infertility and preventing genetic diseases.”
In practice, that prohibits non-married women from using them.
“We want to help these single women, but unfortunately we truly are politically restricted,” said Liu Jiaen, the director of a fertility hospital in Beijing.
Liu said the limitation is “a pity.”
Conceiving a child through a foreign sperm bank starts from 200,000 yuan (US$28,500).
Women must make several trips abroad for the medical procedures, as Chinese law bans importing human sperm.
Women also face discrimination; in Chinese culture, marriage is still considered essential to having a child.
“If sperm banks and related technology like egg-freezing are accessible to single women, it’s a way to safeguard your own reproduction ability,” said Alan Zhang, a 28-year-old reproductive rights activist in Beijing.
Zhang has written more than 60 letters to delegates of China’s parliamentary body asking them to overturn the restriction as part of her work with Diversity Family, the NGO she co-founded to advocate for non-traditional family structures.
“The state does not do this, so the people can only find their own way,” said Zhang.
In China, sperm donors must remain anonymous.
But international sperm banks offer women details like hair colour, childhood photos, and ethnic background.
“If you choose to use a sperm donor, sperm is essentially a commodity,” said Carrie, a 35-year-old single mother living in southwest China who also requested anonymity.
Carrie said that international sperm banks are more sophisticated than Chinese ones, and “able to meet consumer demand.”
Peter Reeslev, CEO of Cryos International, told AFP that given the extra choices, “Chinese women tend to choose Caucasian donors.”
Reeslev said one possible reason is that sperm banks outside of China have fewer Chinese donors – Cryos has only nine donors out of 900 who identify as Chinese.
US sperm bank California Cryobank has 70 available donors out of 500 who self-identify as Chinese.
But experts say regardless of the availability of Chinese or Chinese-American donors, women are still chosing to have mixed-race children.
“Basically, the selected sperm donors are mostly white,” said Xi Hao, a clinical coordinator in Beijing who helps Chinese customers access a fertility clinic in California.
Zhan Yingying, a co-founder of the Diversity Family organisation, said it was rare for her to come across a mother who chose a sperm donor of Chinese ethnicity.
Traits such as double eyelids and pale skin are often valued according to Chinese beauty standards.
“Before choosing the sperm donor I had not considered a particular race,” insisted Carrie, but after seeing the catalogue she realised she had a preference for foreign physical traits – and now has two half-Danish children.
For baby Oscar, Xiaogunzhu said personality was the major factor in her decision as the donor was listed as “full of joy.”
But on her Weibo blog, photos of Oscar with the hashtag #mixed-race baby draw admiration.
“I personally don’t care about the colour of the skin,” she said.
“I only care that the eyes are big and the features are good.” - AFP
My take is that is not about the social stigma, but it’s about your child. How is him/her going to react when they are old enough to tell the difference in races.
I have a white friend, she was not successful in finding a partner and her biological clock was ticking, hence she went for IVF to conceive a child. She chose a black guy’s sperm. When her girl was born, everything was fine, she was coffee colour. But when she was 5 years old, she started wondering why everyone but her is white. So one day she asked her mom (my friend) why is she so dirty looking? And from that time she hates herself as she kept telling us that she looks different from everyone in her family.
Wannabemama
New Member
Yes, please add me too!
Background: I'm a Singaporean Chinese with an American fiancee. We are in our 20s and I'm 6 years older than her.
I would highly caution local ladies here to reconsider about having a caucasian sperm donor. We live in a world that is increasingly globalized, white supremacy and euro standard of beauty are being scrutinized at every turn.
I have relatives and friends, mostly women, that will make off hand unwarranted comments about my future children being beautiful by virtue of being mixed ( Chinese / White ). I find it is weird and borderline creepy to fetish hapa kids. This isn't some high school eugenics project.
Some of them have full asian children and it's like a backhanded insult directed to their kids, as if they would looked better if they are mixed.
I have also come across an incident when my latina friend got angry when a taiwanese girl in our clique made a comment that she hope her kids looked more white than asian so that they will have an easier time sailing through life. The latina boyfriend was black.
Imagine this scenario, your kids would eventually grow up and wonder why his mom / parents pick a certain race for her donor sperm. He/she eventually connected the dots that she's hoping euro standard beauty to be upheld through her child lifetime and hence the child will wonder if she's internalizing self-hatred of her kind.
You may find it ironic for me to discourage this pattern of thinking afterall my kids will reap benefits if euro standard remain but I digress, my (future) kids don't need to adhere to colonial standard to be beautiful.
I would highly caution local ladies here to reconsider about having a caucasian sperm donor. We live in a world that is increasingly globalized, white supremacy and euro standard of beauty are being scrutinized at every turn.
I have relatives and friends, mostly women, that will make off hand unwarranted comments about my future children being beautiful by virtue of being mixed ( Chinese / White ). I find it is weird and borderline creepy to fetish hapa kids. This isn't some high school eugenics project.
Some of them have full asian children and it's like a backhanded insult directed to their kids, as if they would looked better if they are mixed.
I have also come across an incident when my latina friend got angry when a taiwanese girl in our clique made a comment that she hope her kids looked more white than asian so that they will have an easier time sailing through life. The latina boyfriend was black.
Imagine this scenario, your kids would eventually grow up and wonder why his mom / parents pick a certain race for her donor sperm. He/she eventually connected the dots that she's hoping euro standard beauty to be upheld through her child lifetime and hence the child will wonder if she's internalizing self-hatred of her kind.
You may find it ironic for me to discourage this pattern of thinking afterall my kids will reap benefits if euro standard remain but I digress, my (future) kids don't need to adhere to colonial standard to be beautiful.
hi Xando,
thanks for your reply. absolutely agree with your point of view. no matter how globalize or open, looks still do matter to alot of ppl.
How is everything? Manage to get pregnant?
SHeartBreak
New Member
Anyone wanna start a new chat group?
Doesn’t seem like anyone from the old chat group is around.
Will be nice if someone with experience can share more information with us
Doesn’t seem like anyone from the old chat group is around.
Will be nice if someone with experience can share more information with us
Flyingpiggy26
New Member
Sure
SHeartBreak
New Member
Pm and share share number
Here i am trying to find an egg donor. Im currently looking for a woman to have my children as my girlfriend do not wish to have one. Its really frustrating as i love her so much, that i respect her decision. However, i really would love the idea to have a descendant out there.
I feel Asian need to be more open minded as I myself is also Asian. I have no regrets changing my mind raise a child single handedly through sperm donors. If western people can raised kids singled I have no Problem but problem lies to the society.
I still hoping the society and Govt can always spares thoughts for the singles if they want to rate the birth as the priority. I still hoping the Govt can go for subsidies like ivf ... more of what we single people struggles. I hoping one day I am all ready to have a baby and needed option of a sperm / ivf can set for us assurance.
I still hoping the society and Govt can always spares thoughts for the singles if they want to rate the birth as the priority. I still hoping the Govt can go for subsidies like ivf ... more of what we single people struggles. I hoping one day I am all ready to have a baby and needed option of a sperm / ivf can set for us assurance.
Priscillakhong
New Member
Hi, are you Caucasian? Single and Lesbian Asian ladies in Singapore tend to prefer Caucasian sperm donors to beget "beautiful" Eurasian children, unlike married Asian couples who prefer Asian sperm donors. This is despite the fact, that they may not have a single Caucasian or Eurasian person within their immediate circle of family members, relatives and close friends. I have a couple of single straight and lesbian female friends who have expressed such a preference for mixed-race children, if they were to pursue the single motherhood option.
Priscillakhong
New Member
Peter Reeslev, CEO of Cryos International, told AFP that given the extra choices, "Chinese women tend to choose Caucasian donors."
China's single women seek sperm donors overseas
BEIJING: Looking at page after page of childhood photos, Xiaogunzhu was drawn to an image of a French-Irish boy with smiling dark blue eyes.
But she was not admiring her lover's family album, she was browsing a catalogue of potential sperm donors -- the 39-year-old is one of an increasing number of affluent single women in China that are seeking a child, but not a husband.
Unmarried women in China are largely barred from accessing sperm banks and in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment, forcing them to seek options abroad.
Her choice made -- donor #14471 on the website of a Californian sperm bank -- Xiaogunzhu flew to the US to begin the first rounds of treatment.
"There are many women who won't get married, so they might not fulfil this fundamental biological mission," Xiaogunzhu told AFP, using the name she blogs under to avoid any negative attention.
"But I felt another path had opened up," she added.
Her baby, now nine months old, is called Oscar after a character in a comic about the French revolution -- a nod to the donor's French ancestry.
The marriage rate in China has been in decline over the last five years. Last year, only 7.2 out of 1,000 people got married, according to official statistics.
Educated professional women face "discrimination" when seeking spouses, explained sociologist Sandy To, as their male partners have "difficulty accepting their higher educational or economic accomplishments."
But many feel that struggling to find or simply not wanting a partner should not preclude them from motherhood.
Xiaogunzhu believes a father isn't necessary -- her own was controlling and often angry, dimming her view of the traditional family set-up.
"Why does everyone think that children will ask: 'why don't I have a father?'" she said.
Analysts predict that the total market in China for fertility services will reach $1.5 billion in 2022 -- more than double its 2016 value.
But demand for services overseas for Chinese nationals is also booming.
Danish sperm and egg bank Cryos International has created a Chinese website and added Chinese-speaking staff. American and European sperm banks told AFP that they have increasing numbers of Chinese clients.
- Prohibited -
But the journey is neither cheap nor easy.
China's national health department stipulates that the purpose of sperm banks is for "treating infertility and preventing genetic diseases".
In practice, that prohibits non-married women from using them.
"We want to help these single women, but unfortunately we truly are politically restricted," said Liu Jiaen, the director of a fertility hospital in Beijing.
Liu said the limitation is "a pity".
Conceiving a child through a foreign sperm bank starts from 200,000 yuan ($28,500).
Women must make several trips abroad for the medical procedures, as Chinese law bans importing human sperm.
Women also face discrimination; in Chinese culture, marriage is still considered essential to having a child.
"If sperm banks and related technology like egg-freezing are accessible to single women, it's a way to safeguard your own reproduction ability," said Alan Zhang, a 28-year-old reproductive rights activist in Beijing.
Zhang has written more than 60 letters to delegates of China's parliamentary body asking them to overturn the restriction as part of her work with Diversity Family, the NGO she co-founded to advocate for non-traditional family structures.
"The state does not do this, so the people can only find their own way," said Zhang.
- Mixed race babies -
In China, sperm donors must remain anonymous.
But international sperm banks offer women details like hair colour, childhood photos, and ethnic background.
"If you choose to use a sperm donor, sperm is essentially a commodity," said Carrie, a 35-year-old single mother living in southwest China who also requested anonymity.
Carrie said that international sperm banks are more sophisticated than Chinese ones, and "able to meet consumer demand".
Peter Reeslev, CEO of Cryos International, told AFP that given the extra choices, "Chinese women tend to choose Caucasian donors."
Reeslev said one possible reason is that sperm banks outside of China have fewer Chinese donors -- Cryos has only nine donors out of 900 who identify as Chinese.
US sperm bank California Cryobank has 70 available donors out of 500 who self-identify as Chinese.
But experts say regardless of the availability of Chinese or Chinese-American donors, women are still chosing to have mixed-race children.
"Basically, the selected sperm donors are mostly white," said Xi Hao, a clinical coordinator in Beijing who helps Chinese customers access a fertility clinic in California.
Zhan Yingying, a co-founder of the Diversity Family organisation, said it was rare for her to come across a mother who chose a sperm donor of Chinese ethnicity.
Traits such as double eyelids and pale skin are often valued according to Chinese beauty standards.
"Before choosing the sperm donor I had not considered a particular race," insisted Carrie, but after seeing the catalogue she realised she had a preference for foreign physical traits -- and now has two half-Danish children.
For baby Oscar, Xiaogunzhu said personality was the major factor in her decision as the donor was listed as "full of joy".
But on her Weibo blog, photos of Oscar with the hashtag #mixed-race baby draw admiration.
"I personally don't care about the colour of the skin," she said.
"I only care that the eyes are big and the features are good."
China's single women seek sperm donors overseas
BEIJING: Looking at page after page of childhood photos, Xiaogunzhu was drawn to an image of a French-Irish boy with smiling dark blue eyes.
But she was not admiring her lover's family album, she was browsing a catalogue of potential sperm donors -- the 39-year-old is one of an increasing number of affluent single women in China that are seeking a child, but not a husband.
Unmarried women in China are largely barred from accessing sperm banks and in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment, forcing them to seek options abroad.
Her choice made -- donor #14471 on the website of a Californian sperm bank -- Xiaogunzhu flew to the US to begin the first rounds of treatment.
"There are many women who won't get married, so they might not fulfil this fundamental biological mission," Xiaogunzhu told AFP, using the name she blogs under to avoid any negative attention.
"But I felt another path had opened up," she added.
Her baby, now nine months old, is called Oscar after a character in a comic about the French revolution -- a nod to the donor's French ancestry.
The marriage rate in China has been in decline over the last five years. Last year, only 7.2 out of 1,000 people got married, according to official statistics.
Educated professional women face "discrimination" when seeking spouses, explained sociologist Sandy To, as their male partners have "difficulty accepting their higher educational or economic accomplishments."
But many feel that struggling to find or simply not wanting a partner should not preclude them from motherhood.
Xiaogunzhu believes a father isn't necessary -- her own was controlling and often angry, dimming her view of the traditional family set-up.
"Why does everyone think that children will ask: 'why don't I have a father?'" she said.
Analysts predict that the total market in China for fertility services will reach $1.5 billion in 2022 -- more than double its 2016 value.
But demand for services overseas for Chinese nationals is also booming.
Danish sperm and egg bank Cryos International has created a Chinese website and added Chinese-speaking staff. American and European sperm banks told AFP that they have increasing numbers of Chinese clients.
- Prohibited -
But the journey is neither cheap nor easy.
China's national health department stipulates that the purpose of sperm banks is for "treating infertility and preventing genetic diseases".
In practice, that prohibits non-married women from using them.
"We want to help these single women, but unfortunately we truly are politically restricted," said Liu Jiaen, the director of a fertility hospital in Beijing.
Liu said the limitation is "a pity".
Conceiving a child through a foreign sperm bank starts from 200,000 yuan ($28,500).
Women must make several trips abroad for the medical procedures, as Chinese law bans importing human sperm.
Women also face discrimination; in Chinese culture, marriage is still considered essential to having a child.
"If sperm banks and related technology like egg-freezing are accessible to single women, it's a way to safeguard your own reproduction ability," said Alan Zhang, a 28-year-old reproductive rights activist in Beijing.
Zhang has written more than 60 letters to delegates of China's parliamentary body asking them to overturn the restriction as part of her work with Diversity Family, the NGO she co-founded to advocate for non-traditional family structures.
"The state does not do this, so the people can only find their own way," said Zhang.
- Mixed race babies -
In China, sperm donors must remain anonymous.
But international sperm banks offer women details like hair colour, childhood photos, and ethnic background.
"If you choose to use a sperm donor, sperm is essentially a commodity," said Carrie, a 35-year-old single mother living in southwest China who also requested anonymity.
Carrie said that international sperm banks are more sophisticated than Chinese ones, and "able to meet consumer demand".
Peter Reeslev, CEO of Cryos International, told AFP that given the extra choices, "Chinese women tend to choose Caucasian donors."
Reeslev said one possible reason is that sperm banks outside of China have fewer Chinese donors -- Cryos has only nine donors out of 900 who identify as Chinese.
US sperm bank California Cryobank has 70 available donors out of 500 who self-identify as Chinese.
But experts say regardless of the availability of Chinese or Chinese-American donors, women are still chosing to have mixed-race children.
"Basically, the selected sperm donors are mostly white," said Xi Hao, a clinical coordinator in Beijing who helps Chinese customers access a fertility clinic in California.
Zhan Yingying, a co-founder of the Diversity Family organisation, said it was rare for her to come across a mother who chose a sperm donor of Chinese ethnicity.
Traits such as double eyelids and pale skin are often valued according to Chinese beauty standards.
"Before choosing the sperm donor I had not considered a particular race," insisted Carrie, but after seeing the catalogue she realised she had a preference for foreign physical traits -- and now has two half-Danish children.
For baby Oscar, Xiaogunzhu said personality was the major factor in her decision as the donor was listed as "full of joy".
But on her Weibo blog, photos of Oscar with the hashtag #mixed-race baby draw admiration.
"I personally don't care about the colour of the skin," she said.
"I only care that the eyes are big and the features are good."
Priscillakhong
New Member
Caucasian sperm donors for ASIAN women need not be well-educated or intelligent. All they need is to be tall, fair-skinned, blond and blue-eyed:
Sperm from “Caucasian” American cashier in high demand
.
SÃO PAULO—With “jewel-tone eyes,” blond hair and a “smattering of light freckles,” Othello looks nothing like most Brazilians, the majority of whom are black or mixed-race. Yet the “Caucasian” American cashier, described in those terms by the Seattle Sperm Bank and known as Donor 9601, is one of the sperm providers most often requested by wealthy Brazilian women importing the DNA of young U.S. men at unprecedented rates.
Over the past seven years, human semen imports from the U.S. to Brazil have surged as more rich single women and lesbian couples select donors whose online profiles suggest they will yield light-complexioned and preferably blue-eyed children.
Brazil is one of the fastest-growing markets for imported semen in recent years, said Michelle Ottey, laboratory director of Virginia-based Fairfax Cryobank, a large distributor and the biggest exporter to Brazil. More than 500 tubes of foreign semen frozen in liquid nitrogen arrived at Brazilian airports last year, officials and sperm-bank directors said, up from 16 in 2011. Complete data from Anvisa, Brazil’s health-care regulator, isn’t yet available for 2017.
U.S. sperm-bank directors said preferences like those of Brazilian purchasers hold across their global market. “The vast majority of what we have and what we sell are the Caucasian blond-haired, blue-eyed donors,” said Fredrik Andreasson, CFO of Seattle Sperm Bank, which provides about a quarter of Brazil’s imports.
Everyone wants a “pretty kid” and for many parents in Brazil, where prejudice often runs deep, that means “the white biotype—light-colored eyes and skin,” said Susy Pommer, a 28-year-old data analyst from São Paulo who decided to get pregnant last year after a breast-cancer scare left her eager to raise a child right away with her partner, Priscilla.
Favored Offspring
Sperm buyers in Brazil, which is more than 50% black or mixed-race, have an overwhelming preference for white, blue-eyed donors.
Sperm from “Caucasian” American cashier in high demand
.
SÃO PAULO—With “jewel-tone eyes,” blond hair and a “smattering of light freckles,” Othello looks nothing like most Brazilians, the majority of whom are black or mixed-race. Yet the “Caucasian” American cashier, described in those terms by the Seattle Sperm Bank and known as Donor 9601, is one of the sperm providers most often requested by wealthy Brazilian women importing the DNA of young U.S. men at unprecedented rates.
Over the past seven years, human semen imports from the U.S. to Brazil have surged as more rich single women and lesbian couples select donors whose online profiles suggest they will yield light-complexioned and preferably blue-eyed children.
Brazil is one of the fastest-growing markets for imported semen in recent years, said Michelle Ottey, laboratory director of Virginia-based Fairfax Cryobank, a large distributor and the biggest exporter to Brazil. More than 500 tubes of foreign semen frozen in liquid nitrogen arrived at Brazilian airports last year, officials and sperm-bank directors said, up from 16 in 2011. Complete data from Anvisa, Brazil’s health-care regulator, isn’t yet available for 2017.
U.S. sperm-bank directors said preferences like those of Brazilian purchasers hold across their global market. “The vast majority of what we have and what we sell are the Caucasian blond-haired, blue-eyed donors,” said Fredrik Andreasson, CFO of Seattle Sperm Bank, which provides about a quarter of Brazil’s imports.
Everyone wants a “pretty kid” and for many parents in Brazil, where prejudice often runs deep, that means “the white biotype—light-colored eyes and skin,” said Susy Pommer, a 28-year-old data analyst from São Paulo who decided to get pregnant last year after a breast-cancer scare left her eager to raise a child right away with her partner, Priscilla.
Favored Offspring
Sperm buyers in Brazil, which is more than 50% black or mixed-race, have an overwhelming preference for white, blue-eyed donors.
What do you mean by find them here ?
Both are ok
After sometime of observation whether to Asian or westerners.. mix blood kids I feel that I have no obligations to go for any. It’s base on individual. To me both Asian or western babies is still my. As for how others look at you .. I used to have that issues towards me but who cares.. I don’t care anymore but always bear in mind decisions once made no more regrets. Angle of judgment why bother importantly this kids to be raised needed many hard work, time , and effort and also educators and roles to be given. Are you ready? I am ready anytime soon.
I do understand the point of remarkable towards circumstances. Seriously as long as not in front of me and my kids. It is up to them to say whatever they want. Eurasian of my kids can be I married a Caucasian in a separate relationship. I definitely will put my kids in the international school and not Neighbor school. Like you said , lesbian couple with a Eurasian kid.. they have to face the reality made by them. It’s their decision in the first place. Think before act. Think of the consequences and how to handle it without giving anyone hurt especially the kids in the grownup. Anyway my nephew is Eurasian too .. so no problem for myself to have either Asian or western baby.
Last edited:
I'm in my early 30's this year, and I too am looking to be a single mom before I am 35. I already have a Singaporean local who is willing to be my sperm donor, but I am not sure what is the best way to go about this if I consider IVF overseas. Would it be possible to still go through IVF with the sperm donor given he wouldn't be able to travel with me? Any advice or suggestions is greatly appreciated!
Flyingpiggy26
New Member
Unfortunately IVF or ART is only offered to married couples in Singapore .
Yeah I understand that, that’s why I’m looking at the procedure overseas. Just that my donor is Singaporean he wouldn’t be able to travel with me.
Wow that’s something I didn’t know. I may ask him to consider the journey with me to Malaysia if that’s the case, but right now it’s really difficult considering COVID. Thanks for sharing!
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
Don't skirt the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" when discussing social egg freezing - The Online Citizen Asia
The Online Citizen Asia Don't skirt the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" when discussing social egg freezing Letters
www.theonlinecitizen.com
Don’t skirt the issue of “Single Motherhood by Choice” when discussing social egg freezing
In a recent parliamentary session on 25th February 2021, Member of Parliament for Tampines GRC Cheng Li Hui called for permitting social egg freezing in Singapore. At the same time, she also suggested banning women who remain unmarried from using their frozen eggs for IVF treatment, which is akin to sweeping the entire issue of “single motherhood by choice” under the carpet.
This is an intractable and tricky problem that is unlikely to go away. Because single women who freeze their eggs do so with the strong expectation of using these to conceive children in future, regardless of their future marital status.
Not every single woman who freeze their eggs can be expected to successfully find their “Mr. Right” in the future. Under such circumstances, banning unmarried women from using their own frozen eggs is bound to create much resentment and discontent in future, among those that remain single.
It is likely that such a group of disgruntled single women may band together to file a “representative action” or “class action” legal suit against the government to allow them to utilize their frozen eggs to become “single mothers by choice”. Worse still, there is a risk that such single women may even be compelled to enter ‘sham’ or ‘temporary’ marriages just for the sake of achieving their dream of motherhood with their frozen eggs.
A politically expedient solution that the government might possibly consider, is to discreetly allow single women to export their frozen eggs to overseas fertility centers for IVF with donated sperm, thus leaving an open backdoor to “single motherhood by choice”. But this is clearly unsatisfactory, because this would mean unclear and misaligned policy direction by the government on the issue of “single motherhood by choice”. Either permit it openly, or use all means to stop it from occurring.
Hence, it is imperative that there should be more extensive, open and honest debate on the issue of “single motherhood by choice”, when discussing whether or not to permit social egg freezing in Singapore.
Hi,
We all know Singapore cannot do ivf only couples do. That is why many went to overseas for conceive pregnancy which we have to have $. I just feel not all Asia have done it too. So this is another concern why I am still think how I should go about doing it.
what about u ? What is your concern ?
We all know Singapore cannot do ivf only couples do. That is why many went to overseas for conceive pregnancy which we have to have $. I just feel not all Asia have done it too. So this is another concern why I am still think how I should go about doing it.
what about u ? What is your concern ?
Don't skirt the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" when discussing social egg freezing - The Online Citizen Asia
The Online Citizen Asia Don't skirt the issue of "Single Motherhood by Choice" when discussing social egg freezing Letters
Don’t skirt the issue of “Single Motherhood by Choice” when discussing social egg freezing
In a recent parliamentary session on 25th February 2021, Member of Parliament for Tampines GRC Cheng Li Hui called for permitting social egg freezing in Singapore. At the same time, she also suggested banning women who remain unmarried from using their frozen eggs for IVF treatment, which is akin to sweeping the entire issue of “single motherhood by choice” under the carpet.
This is an intractable and tricky problem that is unlikely to go away. Because single women who freeze their eggs do so with the strong expectation of using these to conceive children in future, regardless of their future marital status.
Not every single woman who freeze their eggs can be expected to successfully find their “Mr. Right” in the future. Under such circumstances, banning unmarried women from using their own frozen eggs is bound to create much resentment and discontent in future, among those that remain single.
It is likely that such a group of disgruntled single women may band together to file a “representative action” or “class action” legal suit against the government to allow them to utilize their frozen eggs to become “single mothers by choice”. Worse still, there is a risk that such single women may even be compelled to enter ‘sham’ or ‘temporary’ marriages just for the sake of achieving their dream of motherhood with their frozen eggs.
A politically expedient solution that the government might possibly consider, is to discreetly allow single women to export their frozen eggs to overseas fertility centers for IVF with donated sperm, thus leaving an open backdoor to “single motherhood by choice”. But this is clearly unsatisfactory, because this would mean unclear and misaligned policy direction by the government on the issue of “single motherhood by choice”. Either permit it openly, or use all means to stop it from occurring.
Hence, it is imperative that there should be more extensive, open and honest debate on the issue of “single motherhood by choice”, when discussing whether or not to permit social egg freezing in Singapore.
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
My concern here is that the government may adopt a politically-expedient or convenient solution.
For example, if social egg freezing is allowed, the government will likely ban IVF for single ladies with frozen eggs, but they may discreetly allow single ladies with money to export their eggs abroad for IVF with donated sperm, thus having some kind of back door or safety valve outlet, to defuse tension and frustration among single women who cannot use their frozen eggs in Singapore.
Would this not be hypocritical? How about single women who can hardly afford to travel abroad for IVF with donated sperm? Why create barriers for them, while rich single women can travel abroad to realize their dreams of motherhood with their frozen eggs?
Hello ladies,
I do find my own struggles.... tension and frustration of travelling out of sg and also accommodations when it is not your own country? I find it difficult when I heard overseas but stay in months and cannot reached out to anyone concerning when you think it isn’t safe. COVID period also difficult to adjust I feel.
Any one keen to do a group chat together ? I feel at least we are not alone.
I do find my own struggles.... tension and frustration of travelling out of sg and also accommodations when it is not your own country? I find it difficult when I heard overseas but stay in months and cannot reached out to anyone concerning when you think it isn’t safe. COVID period also difficult to adjust I feel.
Any one keen to do a group chat together ? I feel at least we are not alone.
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
Dear CookieDan, are you referring to Western countries such as Australia, where laws are more amenable to treatment of single woman? Actually, you can do the treatment in Malaysia if you know how to play the rules. You bring your own sperm donor, and sign a form declaring that you are a married couple in lieu of a marriage certificate. In the case of foreigners only, Malaysian IVF clinics will not insist on a Marriage certificate. But both of you have to sign a form declaring that you are legally married.
Can you able to lead and tell me more ? Yes someone here did told me about Malaysia .. indeed Malaysia clinic called me to inform me about it but sign a form meaning ? I don’t have a man name or cert to declare ? Please advise?
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
What they mean is that you select your sperm donor in Singapore, and ask him to accompany you to the clinic in Malaysia, where he can sign the form and freeze his sperm on the same day. Basically, both you and him pretend to be a married couple from Singapore, and sign a form declaring this to be the case.
Oh erm ... if I have someone sperm in oversea ?
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
I don't think that is really possible in Malaysia. The donor must appear in person at the clinic and sign the form in front of the doctor. A nurse will also sign as a witness.
Oh is it? But lab counsellor cum lab manager from Malaysia told me it is ok if I am single. Is either I bought sperm bank from them or in overseas.
I only worried that my stay over months is a concern because I can’t possible stay hotel for months. I wonder if anyone is going can able to take care of one another and share the staying over hotel.
I only worried that my stay over months is a concern because I can’t possible stay hotel for months. I wonder if anyone is going can able to take care of one another and share the staying over hotel.
Angelica Cheng
Active Member
Probably different clinics have different procedures for "bending the rules".