Christian ivf mums or mums to be

[yve501]

germenie: as bt date draws nearer, I pray to God that He will be watching over you, remove all fears and strengthen u. May God grant you peaceful sleep at night. I remember the time when I was told my baby was small with a weak heartbeat. I was never that fearful before. Never experienced anything like it after that episode too. I can understand how you must be feeling now. Take care!

sunny: I hope you are feeling better already. I'm not good with words. (many a time I say the wrong things too) Just want to let you know that "u are always on my mind". Praying for u, dear.

vanilla: I've put it down in my schedule for lunch this Fri. Bb is coming too! Our favourite Vietnamese joint! And I want to do my shopping in IP. keke.

 

[yve501]

I had a weird dream too, a nighmare.
I used to have this koi pond in my old house. My laoye's koi, not mine. 'Cos I'm afraid of the fish. The kois used to jump out from the pond. In my dream last night, 1 of the fish jumped out and I screamed for laoye to go pick it up. He kicked it back into the pond. In real life, he will never do that. The kois used to be his precious!

 

[miraclebabyhopes]

Hi Ladies

It's been AGES (4 months?) since I last posted. Was joking with Vanila, Blackberry and Tokkie at lunch ealier 2 weeks ago that I need to do my return with lots of highlights and colour but must learn from Yve how to do that first. Anyway, after going through hell, I am back!

Will read up on old postings and update later.

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa">hi miraclebb - welcome back!

hi yve - wah ur dream also v weird... haha this could tell u ur laoye's priority will change? his fish will be downgraded...

hi bb - haahaa... i think his votes will be quite good.... </font>

 

[ica]

hello, peeps! hope everyone's doing ok

Germenie, hi! cast your burdens on the Lord. whenever my heart's troubled, i meditate on Philippians 4:6-7

talking about dreams: hmmm...i have a few weird ones when i was TTC and during my pregnancy - they were always about the evil one masquerading as God. there were 2 that i remember very clearly, which seemed very real:-
1. hubby was worshipping God and told me to do the same but in that dream, in my heart, i knew it wasn't, so i started praying
2. in this dream, i was about to go to sleep and heard knocking at the door. somehow i knew that if i were to open the door, all hell wd break lose so i started praying - the feeling was like there's evil behind the door

the 1st dream wasn't too bad. but the 2nd one was scary *shudders*

 

[mricky]

vanilla, wahaha super funny lei. I can imagine all of us will walk the entire estate to rally for dr f!!!

sorry, may not be able to meet for lunch cos may take half day leave (ie I can only leave office 1.15pm!). parents will be in town tomorrow evening for CNY (yipee!)

germenie - i pm u. jia you!

bb - try not to miss me ok, srf very round oredi... gonna stop breastfeeding by this weekend so must control diet!!!! no more "eat at will!"

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="119911">hi ica - how is bb H? she is 6mths already right?

hi Germenie - tdy is ur BT... God will uphold u in His hands and rem all in faith and His glory. God bless.

Hi mricky - ok..while we makan our yummy vietnamese spring roll we will think of u

wah good ur parents are down here for CNY.. enjoy urself!

sigh..brought E to class today and he cried MAJOR.. sigh... so heartache... </font>

 

[ica]

hi vanilla. you've such a good memory! yup yup, H is 6.5mths now

why did E cry? has he just started school? maybe separation anxiety

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0000ff">hi ica -

how is she? this age is fun age cos she is more reactive...

ya he just started nursery and today i "gae kang" say i bring him to class...sigh he cried cos he wants me to stay....</font>

 

[shalomie]

Hi sisters,
It's BFN, very sad and disappointed but I know I have to move on. I still have a lovable son and supportive husband.
I would like to thank all of you for your kindness, encouragement and prayers. My 2ww would be unbearable without you gals. Thank you once again for all your sharing and advice. I'm allowing myself to feel sad for today and will be up on my feet tomorrow. I was angry with God initially for not answering my prayers but I know that I shouldn't and I hope God will pardon me from that.

 

[blackberry]

Germenie - sorry to hear the news. God knows the whole of our lives and is familiar with our ups and downs. He is with you as u feel down, and i'm sorry that it has come to this. yes, take time to mourn and rise up to a new day tomorrow and look ahead. thank u for sharing with us the outcome tho it's tough. we continue to stand by u in this journey. hugs, my dear sister.

 

[ica]

Germenie: hugs! cry and feel sad all you want. sigh...when life gives you a lemon, make lemonade. sometimes, God has a funny way of answering your prayers - may not be now but the time will surely come. have faith! and He is our ever forgiving Abba

vanilla: yes! sometimes too energetic for my liking

oic - it's a phase that E is going thru. no worry. my friend's kid also started pre-nursery - 1st day cried 1hr, but now she's gotten used to it. only cries for 5mins

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="119911">hi Germenie - hugs...God's plans are always not known or understood by us...by one day we will all understand and know y. B brave and strong as u are -- tom buy 1 big tub of icecream and devour w ur son and hb... the fight will continue but good to rest first. </font>

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0000ff">thanks ica - ya luckily he settled down after i left (according to teacher) ...hmm now his dad will bring him to school...</font>

 

[joie]

where are we meeting for lunch?

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0000ff">lunch - will be at the usual vietnamese plc.. i cant make it.. pls contact bb ..sorry</font>

 

[blackberry]

vanilla - will miss u...

joie and any sister who is able to join in - please pm me (if u dont have my contact) or sms/whatsapp me. see u!

 

[mricky]

Haro gals
may I kw e location for lunch? May b able to join

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

thanks bb... will meet u girls the week after CNY?

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0000ff">hi morning sisters,

hi germenie - how u feeling? hope u had a good weekend w ur son and hb...hugs.

hi tokkie - enjoy ur trip!

hi bb, yve and joie - sorry had to miss lunch. hope to catch up w u girls soon.....

i wonder how Noah felt when God rained for 30 days and 30 nights.... it rained for 3 days and i am going crazy! clothes are damp, my dryer on overload mode (i even wake up at 4am to load into the dryer)..</font>

 

[joie]

Tokkie, enjoy your trekking trip and roughing it out!

Miraclebaby and Yve, the shop which you recommended me to has got some nice stuff.. it's an 'evil' shop for my wallet!!

Vanilla, you need to chill out - waking up at 4am to load the dryer?

<font color="ff0000">Gong Hei Fatt Choy for the Year of the Rabbit !</font>

 

[godknowsbest]

Blessed new year!! well it will be rolling oranges for my bb.. have tried few attempts to teach them to cup the oranges ( the ornament ones) n do a proper Gong Xi GonG xi to "earn" more $$ for their food n toy but well they prefer to pluck out the leaves from the ornament oranges n destroy the netting of the ornament...''

well hoping they will perfect holding 1 orange each on THE day..


If it rains for the next few days, we should be grounded n we will have to entertain them with rolling oranges..

 

[godknowsbest]

is 5th march on??

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0000ff">not sure if 3mar still on...response not too good and no venue booked yet</font>

 

[blackberry]

hi hi. I am okay for 5 Mar... I suppose the gathering will be on a Saturday?

blessed lunar new year everyone!
May we all have the grace to deal with our well-intended friends and relatives who ask THE perennial questions year after year... and the needed 'insulation' so that we remain joyous in the Lord who watches over us and blesses us beyond what we can imagine.

sunshine in our hearts and our homes!

and of course... Singapore!

 

[blackberry]

pic from Trusting Him...

"if it rains can join my gal in the ark... but i think she is getting fatter all the animals have to come out to let her go in..."

TH- cute pic! she looks like you!

 

[sweets]

<font color="aa00aa">Blackberry - AMEN</font>

 

[tokkie]

Gong xi fa cai n xin Xiang shi Chen for every1! Finally managed to get some wi-fi access....

Catch up with u gals once I'm back!

 

[mricky]

Happy new year to all!!!

Parents went back today.... Sob sob :-(

 

[thistle]

Hello sisters, happy new year! Hope all of you had a gd break over the long weekend!

Have been busy with the kids. Twins in a new school. Thank God they are adjusting really well.

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa">hi sisters, happy blessed chinese new yr.

tokkie - enjoy the rest of ur hols... must tell us abt ur adventure when u are back...

hi thistle- how come ur twins change school? I thot they are ok w the old one?

wah... the CNY holidays i slept late - 3am every nite.. haha.. "chase" korean drama lah!

oh... a piece of good news... haha ...no i am not P..but i think i lost weight! my dieting before CNY i thot gone case liao.. cos CNY will spoil it... managed to stay off the temptations

</font>

 

[blackberry]

Vanilla - congrats! but which part of u needs to lose weight? i cant tell leh! ear lobes perhaps? any way, glad u have resisted temptations.
while exercising today, i was still thinking of pineapple tarts and hoping hard that my hb didnt gulp them all! so when I reached home this evening, i quickly took some... haha! shame shame on me! *blush*

hi Thistle! Glad tat ur twins are adjusting well.

Mricky - srf, dont cry... hugs! time will fly when u are busy at wk and at home and soon u will re-unite... dont make your srf long...

Blessed Lunar New Year everyone!

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa"> ha ha blackberry - in a sense yes..hahah my ear lobes had infection and swelled for some time... just recently it recovered

no lah.. my tummy loh... i was so motivated to cut the flab when the aunties in church came to touch my tummy and congratulate me... it is so embarrassing!

haha ...u so funny!! </font>

 

[blackberry]

vanilla - oh dear. what happened to the ear lobes. gosh! glad they have recovered. E is adjusting better to sch?

yesterday my hb gulped down a ping-pong sized pineapple tart. he got startled when I yelled,"Hey! Dont waste it! Chew slowly!" I think gulping pineapple tarts should be made a criminal offence.

Tokkie - missing u and cant wait to hear about your trip.

Sunny - hope all is well on your end.... take care and know that we are here for u.

 

[sunflower09]

Thanks Bb, though things arent quite well at my end, i am telling myself to take things a step at a time. TTC is currently not on my mind anymore for a while at least. The sunflower coaster you gave me, i used it at my desk and each time i will feel alittle comforted when i look at it. Thanks dear sis.

 

[sunflower09]

Rest of sisters, you are in my thots always though i havent been posting lately. Need to sort out some mess in my life right now. Hope all are strong and well, children adjusting well to school/new schools and smooth journey as we go about our stuffs in the new year!

 

[hopewaves]

Hi sisters,

Hope everyone is doing well. Haven't been posting for a while cos work's pretty stressful. Told blackberry that I'm thinking of quitting to try ivf but not sure if the tight finances will pose an added source of stress for me

I have some questions which I'd like to get some advice from before my first consultation at sgh this Thursday-

1. How long on average was ur whole ivf cycle, for long cycles?
2. For govf hospital like sgh, how much would it cost roughly?
3. Will they give mc after the embryo transfer? If so, How
many days?
4. How often do we have to go back for scanning etc during the course of the procedure?

Thanks a lot in advance, I'm not very sure what are the questions to ask when I meet the doc this Thursday so hope to get some background knowledge first. Trusting me, heard that you also did ivf at sgh, do u mind sharing your experience?

I'm kinda torn- I have an impt event in May for my work which is gonna stress me out like crazy, will it be too foolish of me
to do my ivf in mar/ April when I already can predict I'll be quite stressed? Or should I wait and try to take tcm in the meantime?

 

[godknowsbest]

hopewaves, it is cheaper at govt hosp..esp if it is your 1st time using medisave..then u can use 5000 from your medisave..mine was 3rd time using but with govt subsidy of 3k, it cost about 2k cash.

yes u will be given mc for et n it is 2 wks..n i think only 1 blood test a few days after et and then after 10 days u can do a blood test to see if it is +ve!

feel free to pm me ..i can let u have my hp then u can call me

 

[sunflower09]

Hopewaves, if you are doing at govt hospitals, cost can be low with the grant and if you are using your medisave first time. How is your FSH on day 2? If that is low, you will need lower stimulation drugs and that alone is another cost savings.

On average, an ivf cycle should take almost 8 weeks if you are on the standard long protocol (with lucrin). The schedule should go like this:

Day 21 of the month you want to start - jab lucrin
Day 28 - menses will come
Day 4 of the following month - add jab puregon/gonalf
Day 7 onwards - scan for follicle growth around alternate days
Day 12 - should be ready, will trigger HCG jab
Day 14 - ER
Day 16 - ET and 2ww
2 weeks later - BHCG BT

You can request HL in place of MC after ER if MC is a concern for you. Depending on hospital and doctors' approval.

When doing ivf, its best if you can shut out all other interferences/stress so if you can, try not to clash with other commitments. Cuz ivf is already so taxing, physically and emotionally, the last you need is for other things to also stress you out. And also you wont want to regret later for not resting enough to improve your chances.

Above are my 2 cents, hope to help.

 

[godknowsbest]

personally i prefer to take own AL then change to HL after back from leave..u see once u write HL or take HL, your boss n coll will ask..even when i took AL a lot of people ask n i dun want to lie just say rest at home..cos usually people think 2wk AL is on hols ..if put HL then people ask what happen etc..

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa">hi hopewaves, hi sunny...
hugs sisters..

sunny - i pray that ur days will be sunny and bright, there might be times of darkness but we all know u will be back sunny again. God will provide that for u. i am always here for u.. if u need to talk sms/call me k...

hi hopewaves,
1. How long on average was ur whole ivf cycle, for long cycles? mine is a long protocol - i started my superfact (suppression) on 17 Dec and did my eggs retrieval on 16 Jan --> so it is almost a month.

3. Will they give mc after the embryo transfer? If so, How many days? i was given hospitalisation leave. No reasons will be stated. Better to take HL instead of MC cos some companies have limit on MC (say 30days). Like my co, HL capped at 90 days and MC at 30days, so i use on HL save my MC for real MC cases.

4. How often do we have to go back for scanning etc during the course of the procedure? during the whole mth i had 3 scans .. all done before ER. the scans were done after i had administered Gonal F (stimulation)...to see how ur eggs are reacting and growing.

totally agree w Sunny on work stress/ commitments w the prog. For me i did in Dec cos it is a quiet mth, and i told my team and boss who "protected" me from answering work nonsense. I was down for pretty long but during the 5 weeks i am out of office, i did not get any calls on work which is great. </font>

 

[hopewaves]

Hi trustinghim, sunny and vanilla,

Thank for sharing your experiences with me. I'm now sitting in front of the consultation room waiting to see doc. After hearing what you guys shared, I guess most likely I will wait till June to do the ivf cos I'm anticipating a difficult period at work till then. Once I decide, I hope I can surge forward and not look back. How did you guys prepare your bodies for ivf last time? Can share some tips? =)

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa">hi hope, for me i did tcm (accupture) and tried my best to keep a proper diet like no soya and caffeine. no cooling stuff etc. I asked my tcm doc what best to eat and tried to follow her advice.

hold on to God's strength and His promise to be with u all the time to surge forward.</font>

 

[blackberry]

Sunny - i think it is right to put ttc on hold and take time for your emotions. God is our healer and He is love. He says our joy is complete if we remain in His love (John 15). meet up some time ok? hugs. I am putting my ttc on hold too till I have peace to proceed.

Hopewaves - how was the appt?the sisters here have clarity abt the process. mine was a blurr somehow. selective memory? haha.

Was watching a programme on BBC Knowledge (Channel 407) last night. It was titled 'Child Against all Odds' and featured 2 couples and their IVF journey. Not all is rosy and I remember my journey once more and as i hear the women go from hope to despair, and become inconsistent with their wants. Certainly i can identify with that! educational too - showed how eggs are retrieved. the gynae kept saying "please Lord, let there be an egg" and the nurse said "amen". heart-warming.

 

[hopewaves]

Hey sisters..
Just an impromptu post.. just received an sms from one of my best friends who told me that she is pregnant.. no wonder she has been avoiding me as she was not sure how to break the news to me. She said she understands how it may affect me but she cherish me as a friend and don't wanna lose this friendship.
I broke down in the office.. kinda pai seh cos' not sure if anyone saw.. waiting for lunch time to come so I can sneak out to take a breather. Not sure how to react to her.. I've distanced with some friends due to them getting preggie already.. Not because I dun care for them but I just feel so sad for myself.. I dun want to do that again but it's so painful..

 

[sunflower09]

Hi Hopewaves

Can understand how you feel. Its normal, just tell yourself, soon it will be your turn to share with her your joy. Maybe this coming ivf is really it for you. Cheer up and chin up okie? As for preparation, i feel acupuncture and eating well helps. At least for my case i have seen a world of difference with and without acupuncture. So if you can ... it will be good preparation and investment. Acupuncture also help to relax the mind and builds lining and ensure womb conducive for implantation.

Yup Bb,

Actually emotionally i am maybe healed, maybe numbed? I also dont know. Just dont feel keen or hopeful in TTC anymore. Just as well lah, maybe that will help me give up easier. My hb on the other hand still hope and believe in a supernatural conception. I say good lor maybe God is talking to him. Then last night i dreamt we had twin boys. I didnt tell him, cuz so tired of being lifted up false hopes by dreams. I am holding on to TTC partly becuz my career and family are in shambles. Somehow bad things like to come all at once. My sis and parents have fallen out abit and i dont know how to peace make. Alot of challenges ahead. Sigh ...

 

[sunflower09]

Yesterday i went to see my GP for weight loss pills. She so funny, tell me if want to TTC dont bother about weight loss pills, say will affect hormones. I say dont understand why i can put on so much in 5 years. She say its hormones during ivf. She ask me dont stress, just enjoy couplehood and take up nice activites like dancing, haha. She say valentine's day coming, good idea to sign up for dance class! haha, i picture myself ... a hippo with dance skirts? hahahaa

 

[vanilla_pod_2]

<font color="0077aa">hi sunny - that is a good idea, do couplehood stuff...now me and my hb couplehood stuff is infront of TV chasing the korea drama.. haha...

re ur sis and parents. Sometimes u cant be always the peacemaker or solver. ur sis is old enough she has to settle this prob w ur parents. some 'fights' are not meant to be yours. This is how i see life now - some fights are not mine to start, do or end...

hi hopewaves, ur feelings are v real cos i am still like that now... a colleague has given birth to her another child, she had a daughter born a few days older than E. she said she is v productive. Yes she does not understand the prob i am facing and it is a casual word flung in the air but everytime i see her, this word will flash across.

she is just a coll so i can distant and ignore. for closer frens, i will just try to numb my heart and be happy for them but putting aside my own feelings. why? cos geniunely them getting P does not mean i cant get P or God loves them more and give them a bb and not me. We are all diff with diff burdens and gifts. we are also not islands, we have to be with pple and life is sometimes more than just us.... let go...let go ur fears, worries, envy, jealousy... let all go and just let God heal ur heart.</font>

 

[godknowsbest]

i read the article written by SM lee's daughter on ivf n adoption... well dunno what she is writing abt the risk... everything has risk... even those who conceive normally cant predict if child has psychiatric or health problems until later part in life.

but it is rather demoralising reading the article..

i always want to know anyone has a ivf child who is in their teens n if they are healthy.. still worried abt Joash cos he still falls down quite a bit.. he has a bad habit of just falling backwards..not sure if he is playing but it is so painful to hit his head on the floor or is it he has fainting spells or weak spine??

i am trusting God that Joash is normal n healthy.. my gal is full of energy n tricks.

hope waves- i was like that too..i avoided cny visitations, frd's bb 1st mth n yes was so depressed whenever i received coll or frd sms of been pregnant.

i really treasure my kids a lot... my sil can even tell me she is going to stop bf when her bb is only 1 mth cos to them , it is so easy to have a baby.

hope waves- just sms when u are in sgh or need any information on sgh... i have been seeing drhere since 2002. my file is 3 volume thick ..h ha

 

[hopewaves]

Hi trustinghim,

I read that article too, and felt quite indignant in a way, cos it's coming from someone who is not even married and will never understand the pain of infertility. The overall impression of the article to me was that the government should not spend so much money on subsidizing ARTs like Ivfs because babies born this way face high risk of abnormalities, and it implies that if you have a baby with defects from ivf, then you are bound to suffer for life. You would be better off without it in the first place.

I really beg to differ. I think that all the ladies who go through ivf yearn for the chance to hold and have a baby to call their own and should the babies have defects, they will have the strength, like any mainstream parents, to endure and overcome. The joys of having a baby encompasses so much more than simply whether they are normal or with defects. I just think it's very lopsided to infer that the incidences of abnormal babies thru ivf is SO much more than normal births, which I believe is not true.

I guess what I really feel is that as ladies going through ivf, life is hard as it is so a little encouragement rather than a dampener from the media will be appreciated. Imagine if we have to go through ivf and still tahan friends and families who read the article and keep fearing we will have abnormal babies. Ultimately, it's in God's hands I believe.