Children sleeping with grandparent
- Thread starter antzs76
- Start date
fortheloveofgod
New Member
Hi,in my situation I have to say i am left with no other option since my dad stays with us while my uncle occupies the other room in the home.So my son and dad shares the same bedroom.I have a problem however though with my dad not abiding by the usual bedtime I have set for my son.He usually sleeps at 8:30 pm but when I leave him in there my dad will not have the heart so to say to be strict and tell him to sleep.So that's where I stepped in and put my son to bed and only until h fell asleep I would leave the room.
Why do you resist the idea may I ask?
Why do you resist the idea may I ask?
Well I m staying with my inlaws. I am a working mum and the only time I could spend with the kids is at night. There seem no family bonding for us. A lot of events need include all in the pic. Not that I dun like the idea but I seriously think there ought to be family time.
Of course curfews for the kids do get interfere by mil as well so......
For this sort of stuff, I always hav to wonder what is the best solution...
I wonder if i am mad or what?
Of course curfews for the kids do get interfere by mil as well so......
For this sort of stuff, I always hav to wonder what is the best solution...
I wonder if i am mad or what?
I m staying with in laws since marriage. There been ups n down period staying with them. Not sure if u can understand. But I feel I kinda not having own family time of my own, most of the times surround with inlaws. Not that I dun appreciate their help at times but .....
My gals sleep with me but mil want them to sleep with them.
My gals sleep with me but mil want them to sleep with them.
cheeksymummy
Member
Ant dream, does your in laws interfere your personal bonding time a lot?
I don't stay with in laws but I had stayed with them for a short period of time when our house was undergoing renovation. I think I'm lucky I do not have such issues as they actually respect our privacy a lot. When I'm working on night shift, my boy prefers sleeping with my mil than my husband. I do not have much issue with it even though my boy can sleep as late as past midnight, but I know that as a toddler he is active and stubborn and I'm sure my mil did tried her best to coax him to sleep...
Maybe when your mil wanted to sleep with your girl you can nicely tell her that you appreciate doting your girl but it's better if she could rest by her own after a hard day's work and sleeping with her is more of your responsibility as a parent. Make her position feel important and appreciated.
I don't stay with in laws but I had stayed with them for a short period of time when our house was undergoing renovation. I think I'm lucky I do not have such issues as they actually respect our privacy a lot. When I'm working on night shift, my boy prefers sleeping with my mil than my husband. I do not have much issue with it even though my boy can sleep as late as past midnight, but I know that as a toddler he is active and stubborn and I'm sure my mil did tried her best to coax him to sleep...
Maybe when your mil wanted to sleep with your girl you can nicely tell her that you appreciate doting your girl but it's better if she could rest by her own after a hard day's work and sleeping with her is more of your responsibility as a parent. Make her position feel important and appreciated.
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
My colleague let her older children sleep with her mil during weekdays as her mil stays and helps out in her house on weekdays. Only the youngest child sleeps with her n her hb.
I, personally, would not agree if I had a choice. I had posted in other thread about what my mil n hb did to prevent bonding between my son n me. Because of that, I am very alert or wary abt their actions and what they tell my son. Sometimes I do feel that I am going mad but I just can't forget what had happened.
I agree with cheeksymummy that you can try to tell your mil nicely.
My colleague let her older children sleep with her mil during weekdays as her mil stays and helps out in her house on weekdays. Only the youngest child sleeps with her n her hb.
I, personally, would not agree if I had a choice. I had posted in other thread about what my mil n hb did to prevent bonding between my son n me. Because of that, I am very alert or wary abt their actions and what they tell my son. Sometimes I do feel that I am going mad but I just can't forget what had happened.
I agree with cheeksymummy that you can try to tell your mil nicely.
My little one sleep with her on weekend ( hb start off n I hav to follow). Dun ask me why I din move out... I initially wanted to but hb worry his relationship with his mum n dad get sour if we does move out.
I been arguing with him that my little one will become a everyday bb sleeping with them soon..... Cos every single days mil will ask put her here n sleep. Reject nicely , not happy.
If there is personal bonding time I m still quite fine...
I guess I hav master the ultimate ' ren' gong...
Just dun step further or I will snap.
Sorry , but I really need to say it out here cos I really cannot tolerate at time
I been arguing with him that my little one will become a everyday bb sleeping with them soon..... Cos every single days mil will ask put her here n sleep. Reject nicely , not happy.
If there is personal bonding time I m still quite fine...
I guess I hav master the ultimate ' ren' gong...
Just dun step further or I will snap.
Sorry , but I really need to say it out here cos I really cannot tolerate at time
O one thing I must clarify is it not that I dun want them to bond with grandparents . By all means they can bond with them .
But because I m working in the day, I really look forward to have time with them at night when i could spend time cuddling them in bed but it seem I always have to snatch the time with mil.
But because I m working in the day, I really look forward to have time with them at night when i could spend time cuddling them in bed but it seem I always have to snatch the time with mil.
mummy_darling
Member
Hmmm.. I dun let my boys slp with my in laws at all. I just find it quite inapporiate at all. So I just ignore them and insists in my way. Not happy at most I move out that with my kids. I'm alright with it. But im glad that I now live tgt with my boys and my parents too. Have a own space of mine and my boys too. But due to my working hours sometimes my boys will slp with my parents den sometimes they will slp with me. So I'm still alright with it.
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
I understand how you feel even though I am not living with my mil. I was alright with my in laws bonding with my boy too until I discovered they actually don't even want me to appear or near him when they are around. The best part was they stopped me from going near my boy and only allowed my unmarried sil to be with him alone, caring for him in the room when he was a newborn. I tried to organise family outings but mil was not interested in family bonding at all.
I am also working so I understand the feeling of wanting to spend more time with our children after work. But I think man think differently, at least mine is.
Every family has a different story. In my story, I fought hard to get to bond with my boy and the rights of being a mother. Therefore I will not allow anything or anyone to take away again. It depends on what you value most. I used to think of how my hb, mil n sil feel if I do certain things. But when I realised they don't respect me or care abt how I feel at all, I became more assertive when it involves the caring of and bonding with my son.
My colleague had told me she doesn't have time to complete work at home. I knew she had a helper and her mil also helps her to take care of her children. So I ask her about getting their help. She told me her hb wanted her to spend time to bond with the kids after work.
Just sharing my experience with you. Like I said, your case is different from mine, there may be other ways to resolve so it is a win-win situation.
I understand how you feel even though I am not living with my mil. I was alright with my in laws bonding with my boy too until I discovered they actually don't even want me to appear or near him when they are around. The best part was they stopped me from going near my boy and only allowed my unmarried sil to be with him alone, caring for him in the room when he was a newborn. I tried to organise family outings but mil was not interested in family bonding at all.
I am also working so I understand the feeling of wanting to spend more time with our children after work. But I think man think differently, at least mine is.
Every family has a different story. In my story, I fought hard to get to bond with my boy and the rights of being a mother. Therefore I will not allow anything or anyone to take away again. It depends on what you value most. I used to think of how my hb, mil n sil feel if I do certain things. But when I realised they don't respect me or care abt how I feel at all, I became more assertive when it involves the caring of and bonding with my son.
My colleague had told me she doesn't have time to complete work at home. I knew she had a helper and her mil also helps her to take care of her children. So I ask her about getting their help. She told me her hb wanted her to spend time to bond with the kids after work.
Just sharing my experience with you. Like I said, your case is different from mine, there may be other ways to resolve so it is a win-win situation.
justwanttobehappy
New Member
Ant dream, i'm also staying with inlaws, at least your inlaws want the kids to sleep with them.
For mine, my mil dont even want my boy to sleep in her bedrm, as a result, hubby and i do not have any couple time at all.
For mine, my mil dont even want my boy to sleep in her bedrm, as a result, hubby and i do not have any couple time at all.
Apple
I tried to let my hubby handle but mil will sometimes throw tantrum and that is it, she wins!
I wanna explain that they can have playing time with the kids but when it comes to cuddling them to sleep, discipline , let the parents handle. But somehow if I m the one saying it might not means this to her. So it hard to handle.
It is long story.........
To me my wish is: after work, spend time with my little ones , that's all I ask!
But I always hav to fight for it....
I tried to let my hubby handle but mil will sometimes throw tantrum and that is it, she wins!
I wanna explain that they can have playing time with the kids but when it comes to cuddling them to sleep, discipline , let the parents handle. But somehow if I m the one saying it might not means this to her. So it hard to handle.
It is long story.........
To me my wish is: after work, spend time with my little ones , that's all I ask!
But I always hav to fight for it....
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
I totally understand how you feel.
For my case, my hb either totally hands off or he just shouted at mil which seldom happened. So I have to fight for myself. I don't tell my mil what I want now. My hb had told me that he had convey the message to them but mil is still doing it. She doesn't want me to feed my son so she keeps telling me to let him learn self feeding and compare him with eldest sil's son. But she will secretly pass the bowl to her unmarried daughter to feed. So every time, I will tell my son to self feed. Now she stop telling me to let him self feed and find other excuses so her daughter can feed my son. I learnt to keep my mouth shut but use my actions to show them what I want. Using mouth to tell them will only let them think I am possessive and not filial and tell me off. Actions is better. They don't dare to say and I get what I want. Of course, I am still fighting.
Your wish is my wish too. But my hb doesn't understand at all or he pretends that he doesn't understand.
Be be,
Your in laws are not strange. They are possessive, just like mine. My mil also not interested in any outing with us. She just wants me to be invisible to my boy when she and her unmarried daughter are around. But I am not going to let this happen again. I am fighting against the whole family. Unless they can prove and convince me that it is right for a mother not to bother abt her child, I will continue the fight.
I totally understand how you feel.
For my case, my hb either totally hands off or he just shouted at mil which seldom happened. So I have to fight for myself. I don't tell my mil what I want now. My hb had told me that he had convey the message to them but mil is still doing it. She doesn't want me to feed my son so she keeps telling me to let him learn self feeding and compare him with eldest sil's son. But she will secretly pass the bowl to her unmarried daughter to feed. So every time, I will tell my son to self feed. Now she stop telling me to let him self feed and find other excuses so her daughter can feed my son. I learnt to keep my mouth shut but use my actions to show them what I want. Using mouth to tell them will only let them think I am possessive and not filial and tell me off. Actions is better. They don't dare to say and I get what I want. Of course, I am still fighting.
Your wish is my wish too. But my hb doesn't understand at all or he pretends that he doesn't understand.
Be be,
Your in laws are not strange. They are possessive, just like mine. My mil also not interested in any outing with us. She just wants me to be invisible to my boy when she and her unmarried daughter are around. But I am not going to let this happen again. I am fighting against the whole family. Unless they can prove and convince me that it is right for a mother not to bother abt her child, I will continue the fight.
cheeksymummy
Member
Hi Apple, I feel ridiculous for your mil's actions. Being a mother what's wrong with trying to feed your own child and yet your mil and your unmarried sil has to fight over these duties? It seems like they are trying to make your child forgetting you as a mother! Or are they inferior that your child may be more sticky to you, which is 天经地义的事? Please continue to fight for your rights!
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
I also don't like my in laws to interfere in how I bring up my child. The in laws include all the three sister in laws. I never interfere and I always respect their decisions for their children but I don't get the same respect from them. I am fine if they want to share tips in caring of children but it doesn't mean I have to follow theirr ways.
I had told my mum abt my feelings n she had been saying I was jealous. For months, I tried to convince myself I was jealous, only making myself more miserable. I could tell you that you are jealous but I know you are not. By saying that, it won't solve your problem nor makes you happy. So do or say what you think is right. You are the one staying with them and
you know your situation best.
Cheeksymummy & bebe,
Thanks for assuring me that I was right. I wîll continue to fight for my rights. I have enough of their nonsense.
I also don't like my in laws to interfere in how I bring up my child. The in laws include all the three sister in laws. I never interfere and I always respect their decisions for their children but I don't get the same respect from them. I am fine if they want to share tips in caring of children but it doesn't mean I have to follow theirr ways.
I had told my mum abt my feelings n she had been saying I was jealous. For months, I tried to convince myself I was jealous, only making myself more miserable. I could tell you that you are jealous but I know you are not. By saying that, it won't solve your problem nor makes you happy. So do or say what you think is right. You are the one staying with them and
you know your situation best.
Cheeksymummy & bebe,
Thanks for assuring me that I was right. I wîll continue to fight for my rights. I have enough of their nonsense.
I do feel mil is jealous that my girls are close to me.. I just have that feel. My 2nd confinement , I told my hubby to he can sleep with my elder girl and that create bonding period. But Mil jus interfere and insist she take over the 'mummy n daddy' duty.
Two confinement I went thru with stress, from nagging abt the confinement nanny to the fights on my girls..etc
Before having kids I always hate coming home as I always have to think of the stress and the screaming if her mood is not good.
With kids , I look forward each day going home but I always have to put myself on guard that I need to let them know that I prefer to take care of my girls when come to bedtime.
I feel tired , having to tackle the stress just for this.
I know mil just want to offer her 'additional ' help but please have the limits as well.
I can tell you my hubby is sick of stuck inbetween wife and mum. I even wonder if he come to the extent of hating me?
I mention abt moving out but he say ' the consequences is to be bear by me'???? Sigh
That y I give up . You can do whatever u like in this house. To me I only bother about my two little girls . They are my only support that I look forward to go back at the end of day.
Two confinement I went thru with stress, from nagging abt the confinement nanny to the fights on my girls..etc
Before having kids I always hate coming home as I always have to think of the stress and the screaming if her mood is not good.
With kids , I look forward each day going home but I always have to put myself on guard that I need to let them know that I prefer to take care of my girls when come to bedtime.
I feel tired , having to tackle the stress just for this.
I know mil just want to offer her 'additional ' help but please have the limits as well.
I can tell you my hubby is sick of stuck inbetween wife and mum. I even wonder if he come to the extent of hating me?
I mention abt moving out but he say ' the consequences is to be bear by me'???? Sigh
That y I give up . You can do whatever u like in this house. To me I only bother about my two little girls . They are my only support that I look forward to go back at the end of day.
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
I am sorry that I am not able to help you. I am not staying with my in laws and I suppose that makes my life easier n hb not sandwiched so much.
I have stopped telling my hb how I feel or what I want for my boy. He simply doesn't understand. I am sure he knows what I want but he doesn't want to let me do it my way.
I am on long holiday. I want to spend more time with my boy so no intention to send him to childcare. But my hb insisted my boy must stick to the routine. When hb on leave, boy doesn't need to stick to routine, mil will come to look after him. This is always a repeat pattern.
I am tired of telling him what I want. It is obvious that he thinks he can just push the limits further or pretend he doesn't know.
I give up in trying to improve my relationship with my in laws. My only concern is my boy too. As long as they don't try to take over my role or stop me from bonding with my boy, I am fine.
I am sorry that I am not able to help you. I am not staying with my in laws and I suppose that makes my life easier n hb not sandwiched so much.
I have stopped telling my hb how I feel or what I want for my boy. He simply doesn't understand. I am sure he knows what I want but he doesn't want to let me do it my way.
I am on long holiday. I want to spend more time with my boy so no intention to send him to childcare. But my hb insisted my boy must stick to the routine. When hb on leave, boy doesn't need to stick to routine, mil will come to look after him. This is always a repeat pattern.
I am tired of telling him what I want. It is obvious that he thinks he can just push the limits further or pretend he doesn't know.
I give up in trying to improve my relationship with my in laws. My only concern is my boy too. As long as they don't try to take over my role or stop me from bonding with my boy, I am fine.
Apple I understand how u feel. Ya at time I am really angry with him . I know he is stuck in between. The one that is causing the problem is mil. She always expect attention. She will give tons n tons of excuse, this and that. Well I just try not to be bother with her. Like u.. I only concern with my two girls.so long she not giving too much trouble, I dun bother
tensilestrain
Active Member
Ant dream,
My mil also gives tons and tons of excuses for her actions. It was only after my boy was born that I realised my hb is so much like her. They always think they are right and i must follow their way but they never admit they had done something wrong.
For me, I don't think it helps if I change my perspective by thinking mil and sil are trying to help. Certain things that they had done were so obvious that they wanted my boy to be bonded closer to the unmarried sil than me. And they also wanted to make me invisible when we were at mil's house. I know they would succeed if nothing is done to stop them. So I change my perspective from passive to active.
I used to think it is fine, let them do what they want, I can spend other time with my baby. But again and again, I was disappointed. I realised they would never allowed me to spend more time with my boy. I began to be active in mil's house. I approach him, talk and play with him. As I began to be more active, they knew their 小动作 not going to work. So mil started to say very loudly that it is very tiring to look after baby at night, they can help to take care when we are at her house. But I ignore her comment and continued to talk and play with my son.
Tired as you may, but never give up your rights. I am sure one day, you will find a way out.
I never quarrel or argue with my mil. I know that would set the whole family against me and making it difficult for me to go near my boy. So I use the excuses or tactics they had used on me, to prevent their actions. Mil and the unmarried sil always tell my boy what ah ma or er gu can do or had done for him or say he never greet them. To me, it is a mental torture to repeatedly hear the ah ma or ergu every few seconds. So every ah ma or ergu I heard, I counter match with a mama for my boy. Not sure if it is a mental torture for my boy too but it did stop them from doing so frequently.
I know I sound like I don't want my boy to bond with my in laws. But if they had not done it to me, I would not have done so at all. I am not a fighter or aggressive but it doesn't mean I can be bullied.
Sorry for the long post again. I just hope my little success will encourage you to find a solution to your problem.
My mil also gives tons and tons of excuses for her actions. It was only after my boy was born that I realised my hb is so much like her. They always think they are right and i must follow their way but they never admit they had done something wrong.
For me, I don't think it helps if I change my perspective by thinking mil and sil are trying to help. Certain things that they had done were so obvious that they wanted my boy to be bonded closer to the unmarried sil than me. And they also wanted to make me invisible when we were at mil's house. I know they would succeed if nothing is done to stop them. So I change my perspective from passive to active.
I used to think it is fine, let them do what they want, I can spend other time with my baby. But again and again, I was disappointed. I realised they would never allowed me to spend more time with my boy. I began to be active in mil's house. I approach him, talk and play with him. As I began to be more active, they knew their 小动作 not going to work. So mil started to say very loudly that it is very tiring to look after baby at night, they can help to take care when we are at her house. But I ignore her comment and continued to talk and play with my son.
Tired as you may, but never give up your rights. I am sure one day, you will find a way out.
I never quarrel or argue with my mil. I know that would set the whole family against me and making it difficult for me to go near my boy. So I use the excuses or tactics they had used on me, to prevent their actions. Mil and the unmarried sil always tell my boy what ah ma or er gu can do or had done for him or say he never greet them. To me, it is a mental torture to repeatedly hear the ah ma or ergu every few seconds. So every ah ma or ergu I heard, I counter match with a mama for my boy. Not sure if it is a mental torture for my boy too but it did stop them from doing so frequently.
I know I sound like I don't want my boy to bond with my in laws. But if they had not done it to me, I would not have done so at all. I am not a fighter or aggressive but it doesn't mean I can be bullied.
Sorry for the long post again. I just hope my little success will encourage you to find a solution to your problem.
I would like to share my experience.
I am a full time working mum. My family moved in to stay with my in-laws when my girl was four months' old. My MIL volunteered to sleep with my girl at night as she wants me to have good night sleep knowing that my girl woke up for two feeds in the night.
It was a difficult time for me as my girl grew attached to my MIL and would look for my MIL when she was upset or sleepy. I felt useless as a mother and even blamed my hubby for not earning enough. I wanted to give up working but my own family told me that my girl will eventually know who is her mother and no one can replace a mummy's position.
With this advice, I focus on having quality time with my girl and not quantity time. My hubby and I would spent our limited time with her and played with her.
It is indeed true that she does grew up to know who is her dad and mum. Nowadays, she would come climbing into our bed in the morning and look for us when we are at home.
I am a full time working mum. My family moved in to stay with my in-laws when my girl was four months' old. My MIL volunteered to sleep with my girl at night as she wants me to have good night sleep knowing that my girl woke up for two feeds in the night.
It was a difficult time for me as my girl grew attached to my MIL and would look for my MIL when she was upset or sleepy. I felt useless as a mother and even blamed my hubby for not earning enough. I wanted to give up working but my own family told me that my girl will eventually know who is her mother and no one can replace a mummy's position.
With this advice, I focus on having quality time with my girl and not quantity time. My hubby and I would spent our limited time with her and played with her.
It is indeed true that she does grew up to know who is her dad and mum. Nowadays, she would come climbing into our bed in the morning and look for us when we are at home.
tensilestrain
Active Member
Bunnymama,
You are very fortunate. You get to spend quality time with your gal. I am glad to know that you are happy with your decision. The only time i am really free is when i am at mil's house. But i am expected to be invisible to my son. From stopping me to enter the bedroom to see my crying baby to telling her daughters not to let my son see me as he could recognized me at 5mo to remain silent when his sister carried my crying son away from me after i said i would carry him to ignoring my requests to bf my baby. The feeling suck.
I have a new addition in my family this year too. Yes, i find myself getting busier. However, i am still very much affected by my mil n hb's actions. Unlike your family, my mil wants her unmarried daughter or herself to look into every aspect including discipline, education, care and entertainment of my son. My hb and i just need to be busy and go do our work when they are present. I just find it strange. Why must i be invisible to my son when they are present? It is always the same whether we visit them or they visit us.
You are very fortunate. You get to spend quality time with your gal. I am glad to know that you are happy with your decision. The only time i am really free is when i am at mil's house. But i am expected to be invisible to my son. From stopping me to enter the bedroom to see my crying baby to telling her daughters not to let my son see me as he could recognized me at 5mo to remain silent when his sister carried my crying son away from me after i said i would carry him to ignoring my requests to bf my baby. The feeling suck.
I have a new addition in my family this year too. Yes, i find myself getting busier. However, i am still very much affected by my mil n hb's actions. Unlike your family, my mil wants her unmarried daughter or herself to look into every aspect including discipline, education, care and entertainment of my son. My hb and i just need to be busy and go do our work when they are present. I just find it strange. Why must i be invisible to my son when they are present? It is always the same whether we visit them or they visit us.
May I know if you are staying with your MIL?
This is my situation: my MIL has a married daughter who has not gave birth even though she is now forty. I think she tries to use my daughter to encourage her daughter to give birth. So I often becomes invisible when her daughter is around too.
Take the "free" time and enjoy the company of your hubby. Your son is smart and he can sense the situation. My daughter behaves differently when I am around. Just be consistent in your attitude and behavior in your child.
This is my situation: my MIL has a married daughter who has not gave birth even though she is now forty. I think she tries to use my daughter to encourage her daughter to give birth. So I often becomes invisible when her daughter is around too.
Take the "free" time and enjoy the company of your hubby. Your son is smart and he can sense the situation. My daughter behaves differently when I am around. Just be consistent in your attitude and behavior in your child.
Vanessa Chan
New Member
for me i am fine with my boy sleeping with his grandparents but that also depend on whether the grandparents want to sleep with him..haha!
during the day time my mom is the 1 taking care of him, but if in any situation that my mom/parents or my in law is staying over at my place and they wan my boy to sleep with them i will allow..
i just take it as my in law or parents is giving me and my hb our "me" time..
during the day time my mom is the 1 taking care of him, but if in any situation that my mom/parents or my in law is staying over at my place and they wan my boy to sleep with them i will allow..
i just take it as my in law or parents is giving me and my hb our "me" time..
Actually I also prefer my kid to sleep with me. This is to lessen their load since my inlaw is taking care of her whole day already. Plus a bit bonding time with my kids.
However experience from my sis is her kid is left with my parents since birth. She is very very close to my parents until when my sis wan to bring her home she will cry n make a huge fuss... real huge... this continues until pri sch. And my sis will take leave during the day to bring her out for bonding. Only 2 of them. No daddy no didi.
So abt pri 2-3 she grow more mature and knows the difference bet grandparents and parents. And start to be close to her mother now as she also wan to learn dolling herself.
So conclusion is a kid will always know who is their mother and will always find their mother. The only thing you lose is their childhood memories.
However experience from my sis is her kid is left with my parents since birth. She is very very close to my parents until when my sis wan to bring her home she will cry n make a huge fuss... real huge... this continues until pri sch. And my sis will take leave during the day to bring her out for bonding. Only 2 of them. No daddy no didi.
So abt pri 2-3 she grow more mature and knows the difference bet grandparents and parents. And start to be close to her mother now as she also wan to learn dolling herself.
So conclusion is a kid will always know who is their mother and will always find their mother. The only thing you lose is their childhood memories.
meowmeowing
Member
my boy will sleep with my parents when we stay overnight during the weekend, sometimes he will sleep with us. I m fine. in fact I m happy that my mum step in when my boy was young. gave me back my sanity.
my mil on the other hand, used to refuse to sleep with my boy. during my preg, she made it very very clear to me that she cant do night duty coz of this and that........
I understand perfectly well, and during my confinement, I looked after him myself at nite.
but ever since he slept through at week 10, my mil will hint to my hub that she can help to look after at nite. and we can go dating!
mil also used to scold my boy when he saw me. coz he will get excited, and refuse to eat/sleep. wan me to cuddle him (when he was young). until a stage where he doesn't even wan me. but now better, he learnt to look for mama....
so be strong, ur kid will know who is the mummy and who is the granny.......and they will still look for u
my mil on the other hand, used to refuse to sleep with my boy. during my preg, she made it very very clear to me that she cant do night duty coz of this and that........
I understand perfectly well, and during my confinement, I looked after him myself at nite.
but ever since he slept through at week 10, my mil will hint to my hub that she can help to look after at nite. and we can go dating!
mil also used to scold my boy when he saw me. coz he will get excited, and refuse to eat/sleep. wan me to cuddle him (when he was young). until a stage where he doesn't even wan me. but now better, he learnt to look for mama....
so be strong, ur kid will know who is the mummy and who is the granny.......and they will still look for u
sumikojoy
New Member
thanks for the update, glad to know u have a new family member. Congrats
Glad to share my experience too
WTR, I'm ftwm, I'm torn now, my kids(2boys) are sticking to sil who is single because she is the caretaker during the weekday. She feeds, bathe, send them to school. More like mom to my kids. The setback is I no longer in talking terms with her even though we live under the same roof. When #2 came, #1 started sleeping with her, I feel shattered when my younger son wants to sleep with her because I've been traveling a lot. Also I'm strict with him, no iPads during meal times. I feel like the boys are more important than the man, their father.
meowmeowing
Member
kids will still know who their parents are...so do not feel sad
maybe u can try to spend more time wif them..say when u return from work? or try to cut down on travelling if possible?
bring them out, spend quality time with them
maybe u can try to spend more time wif them..say when u return from work? or try to cut down on travelling if possible?
bring them out, spend quality time with them