Childless Not By Choice Group
- Thread starter babygalore09
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babygalore09
Member
Liz,
I agree with Tigi loh
after I accept the fact that eating all the right things and doing all the right exercises does not necessarily mean BFP, I am still doing them for myself and my hubby so that he can have a healthy and fit wife. Eat well for yourself and yourself only (and your hubby too of course if it makes you happy to think like that) k Liz, k k
Lyn,
Yes, sister, of course I have bad days too, so you are prefectly normal and not crazy I assure you. After all these while, I can identify when they happen: whenever blackhearted individuals (that woman and my BIL) use their kids on purpose to insult me and want to make me feel beaten. As well as some important dates. I can anticipate when I am going to encounter these people and the dates so I will try and think of coping mechanisms before hand, for example, try not to talk to BIL at all when visiting on same day. Such mechanisms will serve to lighten the pain but not totally eliminate them. On melancholic days, there will still be a lot of mixed feelings such as "if I have a kid, I will have a complete family and not subject to such insults and sadness", "how I wish I can bring my kid and dress her up for cny", "how I wish my hb can play with our child like any other fathers out there and he will not have empty arms" and many more "how I wish..". Its normal to have such voices and they will still creep back every now and then to make me sad and make me want to seek justice with the upper forces why is it that me and hubby I have only done good in our lifes but have to face with infertility which is like death in many ways.
But I try not to let such voices dominate for the day. I will eventually replace these thoughts with "if life is already so cruel, all the more I cannot be cruel to myself and hubby and dwell in self-pity and anger", "I still want to be good and kind and not cynical even if life is not smooth" and the chinese phrase of "sui2 yuan2" (fate will take care of us) and zen living. Over time the occurence of the "I wish" thoughts are less and less and the forward looking thoughts become more permanent residents. When it happens, you feel liberated and being set free, its a great feelling...set free from the expectation that society, our friends, and most importantly, we set on ourselves. And given that you are a smart and determined girl, I am sure its a matter of time before set yourself free, before the baby comes to you, you can also be happy one..
But don't rush, do it at the pace you are happy with, when you had a bad day, come here and vent, just like I will be expecting mine next week and I will come here and vent our to you all...heheeee..
Lyn, actually immediately after my failed cycle, I know I am in for a tough period. So the first thing I did was go to buy a piece of chinese calligraphy that says "sui2 yuan2" and put it in a zen corner in my house. So whenever I walk past the that corner and see that, I feel peace and tranquility. So yes sister, I do face lots of ups and downs and you are very normal and far from crazy in every sense.
Another point I want to tell you is that I personally believe its important and good to make friends like ourselves who have gone through (some are still going through) fertiliity challenge because I know that although I have different friends from school, work, even if I would to have my own kid in future, I still want to keep my friends whom I know during this journey because its an important piece of puzzle in this life and nothing can wipe what we have gone through away. I got to know a very nice girl from this forum who had gone through many struggles and now is the happy mother of two and I know if I would to tell her how I feel, she can identify a lot with these feelings. Even until today, she has not forgotten about me and still writes to me. She is someone I will keep in my heart and keep in touch too. S, I would like to dedicate this greeting to you. And so far, I am also very grateful to have known you all who are good people who provide warmth and friendship. And I am grateful to the internet too. I cannot imagine what it will be like to go through all these like our ancestors with suffer in silence.
Yeah, yeah, don't know if its because its close to cny, my mil also more sensitive now loh. Atlhough she has not reached the stage of asking me outright. I fully understand your frustrations when you FIL is so probing. There is a chinese saying that says, "The mute one has eaten something so bitter but yet he has not the ability to tell someone". Here we are, having tried so hard and yet everyone thinks we are not trying hard enough or too selfish to try. And if we tell them, it will only serve to open up another can of worms, more questioning and doubts. When I get doubts from my ILs about not trying, I cope now by having this inner voice to tell myself to be strong and proud as I have a clear conscience and have tried. But I do not exclude the possibility that if one day my MIL gets too impatient, I might tell her about the ivf as she is quite a sympathetic woman by heart. But you must know your FIL, if he is the same type, you can consider telling him. But if you think it will open a can of worms of blame and doubt, don't tell him. Just keep telling yourself that your conscience is clear k.
Your bad day over? Today brighter?
I hope it is
jiayou..
Rostrum
I am happy to hear that you are full of spirit again. That is the way dear..heheee....Work hard and eat well...put in your best in everything. Too bad I am also a employee, imagine if I am a boss, I will sure promote you one..heheee..you sound like the dream employee..
Thanks for the link, I will read it.
Tigi,
You consider manuka honey with lemon? Manuka honey is a bit liang but you can buy those small bottle for this cough season. Will help to soothe and slowly kill the strep A that might have caused the flu.
Gan, Lyn,
Wah, you all went manicure..so envy...nowadays my nails are the short short type, very ugly type, I have not done manicure for a long time because starting to do spring cleaning at home...so envy envy
I agree with Tigi loh
Lyn,
Yes, sister, of course I have bad days too, so you are prefectly normal and not crazy I assure you. After all these while, I can identify when they happen: whenever blackhearted individuals (that woman and my BIL) use their kids on purpose to insult me and want to make me feel beaten. As well as some important dates. I can anticipate when I am going to encounter these people and the dates so I will try and think of coping mechanisms before hand, for example, try not to talk to BIL at all when visiting on same day. Such mechanisms will serve to lighten the pain but not totally eliminate them. On melancholic days, there will still be a lot of mixed feelings such as "if I have a kid, I will have a complete family and not subject to such insults and sadness", "how I wish I can bring my kid and dress her up for cny", "how I wish my hb can play with our child like any other fathers out there and he will not have empty arms" and many more "how I wish..". Its normal to have such voices and they will still creep back every now and then to make me sad and make me want to seek justice with the upper forces why is it that me and hubby I have only done good in our lifes but have to face with infertility which is like death in many ways.
But I try not to let such voices dominate for the day. I will eventually replace these thoughts with "if life is already so cruel, all the more I cannot be cruel to myself and hubby and dwell in self-pity and anger", "I still want to be good and kind and not cynical even if life is not smooth" and the chinese phrase of "sui2 yuan2" (fate will take care of us) and zen living. Over time the occurence of the "I wish" thoughts are less and less and the forward looking thoughts become more permanent residents. When it happens, you feel liberated and being set free, its a great feelling...set free from the expectation that society, our friends, and most importantly, we set on ourselves. And given that you are a smart and determined girl, I am sure its a matter of time before set yourself free, before the baby comes to you, you can also be happy one..
Lyn, actually immediately after my failed cycle, I know I am in for a tough period. So the first thing I did was go to buy a piece of chinese calligraphy that says "sui2 yuan2" and put it in a zen corner in my house. So whenever I walk past the that corner and see that, I feel peace and tranquility. So yes sister, I do face lots of ups and downs and you are very normal and far from crazy in every sense.
Another point I want to tell you is that I personally believe its important and good to make friends like ourselves who have gone through (some are still going through) fertiliity challenge because I know that although I have different friends from school, work, even if I would to have my own kid in future, I still want to keep my friends whom I know during this journey because its an important piece of puzzle in this life and nothing can wipe what we have gone through away. I got to know a very nice girl from this forum who had gone through many struggles and now is the happy mother of two and I know if I would to tell her how I feel, she can identify a lot with these feelings. Even until today, she has not forgotten about me and still writes to me. She is someone I will keep in my heart and keep in touch too. S, I would like to dedicate this greeting to you. And so far, I am also very grateful to have known you all who are good people who provide warmth and friendship. And I am grateful to the internet too. I cannot imagine what it will be like to go through all these like our ancestors with suffer in silence.
Yeah, yeah, don't know if its because its close to cny, my mil also more sensitive now loh. Atlhough she has not reached the stage of asking me outright. I fully understand your frustrations when you FIL is so probing. There is a chinese saying that says, "The mute one has eaten something so bitter but yet he has not the ability to tell someone". Here we are, having tried so hard and yet everyone thinks we are not trying hard enough or too selfish to try. And if we tell them, it will only serve to open up another can of worms, more questioning and doubts. When I get doubts from my ILs about not trying, I cope now by having this inner voice to tell myself to be strong and proud as I have a clear conscience and have tried. But I do not exclude the possibility that if one day my MIL gets too impatient, I might tell her about the ivf as she is quite a sympathetic woman by heart. But you must know your FIL, if he is the same type, you can consider telling him. But if you think it will open a can of worms of blame and doubt, don't tell him. Just keep telling yourself that your conscience is clear k.
Your bad day over? Today brighter?
Rostrum
I am happy to hear that you are full of spirit again. That is the way dear..heheee....Work hard and eat well...put in your best in everything. Too bad I am also a employee, imagine if I am a boss, I will sure promote you one..heheee..you sound like the dream employee..
Thanks for the link, I will read it.
Tigi,
You consider manuka honey with lemon? Manuka honey is a bit liang but you can buy those small bottle for this cough season. Will help to soothe and slowly kill the strep A that might have caused the flu.
Gan, Lyn,
Wah, you all went manicure..so envy...nowadays my nails are the short short type, very ugly type, I have not done manicure for a long time because starting to do spring cleaning at home...so envy envy
hi ladies!
i haven start my red dates n longan drink ... already down with sore throat... the virus or bacteria? is slowly evading my nose... a bit stuffy now... I din have Manuka Honey but i am drinking some Citron Peel with Honey, which i bought from a chinese medicine hall in City Square... nice! Being sick is no fun... but i observed my symptoms are less mild compared to the past... still need a week on the road to recovery though...
Eu Yan Sang is having promo on their chicken essence now (today second last day)... buy 2 boxes @ 25% discount. I stocked up some in prep for my ivf later... i prefer EYS chic essence to other common brands because less salty... and i compared their sodium composition, indeed EYS is less.... better for health ... normally dun buy EYS unless it comes with offer like this, too ex...
Also, signed up for tour package to Korea during CNY... yippee!! No reservation about what in laws would think liao, although i did deliberate for some time, and whether hb would be put in tight spot...... anyway won;t be leaving till after having reunion dinner and paying respect to elders, as my hb assured..... this is my first CNY abroad... not thinking about traditions... maybe selfish.... but it is something i want to do for myself
i haven start my red dates n longan drink ... already down with sore throat... the virus or bacteria? is slowly evading my nose... a bit stuffy now... I din have Manuka Honey but i am drinking some Citron Peel with Honey, which i bought from a chinese medicine hall in City Square... nice! Being sick is no fun... but i observed my symptoms are less mild compared to the past... still need a week on the road to recovery though...
Eu Yan Sang is having promo on their chicken essence now (today second last day)... buy 2 boxes @ 25% discount. I stocked up some in prep for my ivf later... i prefer EYS chic essence to other common brands because less salty... and i compared their sodium composition, indeed EYS is less.... better for health ... normally dun buy EYS unless it comes with offer like this, too ex...
Also, signed up for tour package to Korea during CNY... yippee!! No reservation about what in laws would think liao, although i did deliberate for some time, and whether hb would be put in tight spot...... anyway won;t be leaving till after having reunion dinner and paying respect to elders, as my hb assured..... this is my first CNY abroad... not thinking about traditions... maybe selfish.... but it is something i want to do for myself
Tigi,
Drink more soluable Vit C...it helps...
I so envy u..going to Korea during CNY...do enjoy yrself ya....Well, if u tink going away during CNY will make u feel better, please do go ahead! At least u still hv yr reunion dinner wif the elders ma...I believe nowadays young ppl wun like to stay in S'pore which cld be quite boring lo....
Drink more soluable Vit C...it helps...
I so envy u..going to Korea during CNY...do enjoy yrself ya....Well, if u tink going away during CNY will make u feel better, please do go ahead! At least u still hv yr reunion dinner wif the elders ma...I believe nowadays young ppl wun like to stay in S'pore which cld be quite boring lo....
Hi babyglaore, I dnt intend to tell anyone abt ivf..not coz my PIL is old fashion type but due to a lack of knowledge in infertility they might feel that its so strange that we need ivf to conceive whereby in their times its so natural to have a baby once they have relationship.... so in order to save ourselves on being questioned i prefer to keep to ourselves. My MIL only asked once... and i say i will try my best and she didnt ask again. My PIL likes children alot, during my recent taiwan trip in our tour group there is a 4 years boy and my FIL likes to tease him... I feel sad seeing that coz i was thinking if i conceived my child will be abt 2 years old and will be so fun to play with... but life is not always so smooth and DH say we juz have to wait for it to come one day.. My FIL r no those who will insult or make us paiseh infront of relatives type but he juz likes to keep asking me to quickly go and have one so that he can take care of bb for me while he is still healthy... sometimes i also feel sad coz he said that out of good intentions yet i cant fullfill her dreams yet...
Tigi, seoul will be very very cold rite? Snowing? Must be fun... I hope i can be away and avoid all the relatives..
Tigi, seoul will be very very cold rite? Snowing? Must be fun... I hope i can be away and avoid all the relatives..
Hi babyglaore, I dnt intend to tell anyone abt ivf..not coz my PIL is old fashion type but due to a lack of knowledge in infertility they might feel that its so strange that we need ivf to conceive whereby in their times its so natural to have a baby once they have relationship.... so in order to save ourselves on being questioned i prefer to keep to ourselves. My MIL only asked once... and i say i will try my best and she didnt ask again. My PIL likes children alot, during my recent taiwan trip in our tour group there is a 4 years boy and my FIL likes to tease him... I feel sad seeing that coz i was thinking if i conceived my child will be abt 2 years old and will be so fun to play with... but life is not always so smooth and DH say we juz have to wait for it to come one day.. My FIL r not those who will insult or make us paiseh infront of relatives type but he juz likes to keep asking me to quickly go and have one so that he can take care of bb for me while he is still healthy... sometimes i also feel sad coz he said that out of good intentions yet i cant fullfill her dreams yet...
Tigi, seoul will be very very cold rite? Snowing? Must be fun... I hope i can be away and avoid all the relatives..
Tigi, seoul will be very very cold rite? Snowing? Must be fun... I hope i can be away and avoid all the relatives..
Lyn,
I tink yr FIL means well, just like my PILs...haiz...yes, I hv the same feeling as u..sometimes wonders y we still cannot give them a grandchild when they are practically drooling over it...bt we hv tried right? We hv used our last resort...
My dh also told me tt our time will come soon...bt sometimes its so frustrating!
So are u going for another try soon?
I tink yr FIL means well, just like my PILs...haiz...yes, I hv the same feeling as u..sometimes wonders y we still cannot give them a grandchild when they are practically drooling over it...bt we hv tried right? We hv used our last resort...
My dh also told me tt our time will come soon...bt sometimes its so frustrating!
So are u going for another try soon?
babygalore09
Member
Good morning girls!!
Rostrum,
Do you have monday blues one? I find that I have a bit today leh...
Agree loh, we are lucky to have supportive hbs, really cannot take that for granted..
Tigi,
Wow, you managed to sign up for a package..good man....because I heard a lot of packages are sold out already during CNY. Your arrangement of having reunion dinner then go on tour is a good one. Like that, you can pay your respects and avoid the other relatives. I did not manage to sign a package. So I will also go and have reunion dinner and pay respect on Day 1, for the subsequent days, I will try to find a hideout, hotel in Singapore to spend time and not go to those dreadful questioning visits..heheee..
Hope you recover completely soon...
I have not tried EYS chicken essence before..k, I got and check it out thanks yah..
Lyn, Rostrum,
Yes, yes…I totally, 100% understand your feelings about not being able to fulfill their dreams and good intentions. Its is 100% frustrating and totally helpless having tried the ultimate ivf and still cannot make them jump with joy and yet must swallowing all the injections and hardships silently with people know. Its like Jay Chou's movie, "the ivf secret that cannot be told". Sisters, I got "bombed" over the weekend by MIL. Remember I told you all I can sense it coming. She asked us to try harder and hubby and I went home smiling at each other..and I told him this morning, I have internet sisters friends who can totalling understand this situation…heheee… our in laws might have their own groups of friends who gang together to lament how their children don't wan tot have kids and we have our own group that lament how our inlaws don't understand us.
Anyway, when my MIL said that, I recalled what Tigi said earlier "you think I don't want to have meh..I also want to have leh" and I smiled inside, Tigi, you said it so well....sisters, I really appreciate the sharing and it certainly makes this journey a lot more tolerable it would originally be
Rostrum,
Do you have monday blues one? I find that I have a bit today leh...
Agree loh, we are lucky to have supportive hbs, really cannot take that for granted..
Tigi,
Wow, you managed to sign up for a package..good man....because I heard a lot of packages are sold out already during CNY. Your arrangement of having reunion dinner then go on tour is a good one. Like that, you can pay your respects and avoid the other relatives. I did not manage to sign a package. So I will also go and have reunion dinner and pay respect on Day 1, for the subsequent days, I will try to find a hideout, hotel in Singapore to spend time and not go to those dreadful questioning visits..heheee..
Hope you recover completely soon...
I have not tried EYS chicken essence before..k, I got and check it out thanks yah..
Lyn, Rostrum,
Yes, yes…I totally, 100% understand your feelings about not being able to fulfill their dreams and good intentions. Its is 100% frustrating and totally helpless having tried the ultimate ivf and still cannot make them jump with joy and yet must swallowing all the injections and hardships silently with people know. Its like Jay Chou's movie, "the ivf secret that cannot be told". Sisters, I got "bombed" over the weekend by MIL. Remember I told you all I can sense it coming. She asked us to try harder and hubby and I went home smiling at each other..and I told him this morning, I have internet sisters friends who can totalling understand this situation…heheee… our in laws might have their own groups of friends who gang together to lament how their children don't wan tot have kids and we have our own group that lament how our inlaws don't understand us.
Anyway, when my MIL said that, I recalled what Tigi said earlier "you think I don't want to have meh..I also want to have leh" and I smiled inside, Tigi, you said it so well....sisters, I really appreciate the sharing and it certainly makes this journey a lot more tolerable it would originally be
Hi girls!
Thanks for being understanding ... was feeling a bit guilty of going away during cny but felt better when l logged on reading your supportive msgs... it take me some courage to break away from social norms ....
Rostrum, erm.. strictly speaking, i dun really fall into the "young ppl" category... already in my 30s liao.... hahaha.... i dun mind being young at heart though
What is soluble vit C? Any difference from normal vit C? Doc asked me to avoid oranges...
Lyn, it is quite cold in seoul now... hopefully the weather turns better for the springtime... Colleag thought i am one of those who want to avoid giving hangpao ppl... on the contrary the amount of $$ spend on travel is def much more ! Moreover, will still be giving ang pao to my nieces n nephews... this 2 month expect no savings liao... but worth the $$ when i enjoy myself thoroughly!
Babygalore, i dun know things i said before can be so memorable .... haha... i actually went back to the old thread to revisit my words.... sometimes never think much but just type furiously to vent my frustration... and i wan thanks all too for listening and sharing....
Thanks for being understanding ... was feeling a bit guilty of going away during cny but felt better when l logged on reading your supportive msgs... it take me some courage to break away from social norms ....
Rostrum, erm.. strictly speaking, i dun really fall into the "young ppl" category... already in my 30s liao.... hahaha.... i dun mind being young at heart though
What is soluble vit C? Any difference from normal vit C? Doc asked me to avoid oranges...
Lyn, it is quite cold in seoul now... hopefully the weather turns better for the springtime... Colleag thought i am one of those who want to avoid giving hangpao ppl... on the contrary the amount of $$ spend on travel is def much more ! Moreover, will still be giving ang pao to my nieces n nephews... this 2 month expect no savings liao... but worth the $$ when i enjoy myself thoroughly!
Babygalore, i dun know things i said before can be so memorable .... haha... i actually went back to the old thread to revisit my words.... sometimes never think much but just type furiously to vent my frustration... and i wan thanks all too for listening and sharing....
Tigi, i also prefer to go holidays during cny but DH doesnt like coz more costly and crowdeded tats y always ended up being questioned.. gana sai... I like seoul too.. their fashion.. U r in ur 30s neither m i ...
Babyglaore, sometimes MIL can be more kaypoh... Must be very sian la but dun care la.. The mouth is hers juz let her be
Babyglaore, sometimes MIL can be more kaypoh... Must be very sian la but dun care la.. The mouth is hers juz let her be
babygalore09
Member
Tigi,
How I wish can go travelling during cny like you, just that we did not book package in time. So pls don't feel guilty at all yah !
Lyn,
Yah loh, very sian but after I left her house, I quickly go and eat nice good to compensate for the "suffering" heeheee..
Rostrum
How you want to spend you cny, I want to learn survival tactics from you girls..heheee..
How I wish can go travelling during cny like you, just that we did not book package in time. So pls don't feel guilty at all yah !
Lyn,
Yah loh, very sian but after I left her house, I quickly go and eat nice good to compensate for the "suffering" heeheee..
Rostrum
How you want to spend you cny, I want to learn survival tactics from you girls..heheee..
Lyn,
When faced wif preggie frens and koligs or ppl ard u, jus use 平常心去对待. I noe its v sad to hear abt all these...I used to tink like u..hide myself at home and refuse to mit up wif preggie frens or attend their full months....and even argue and quarrel wif dh not to attend our close mutual frens' children birthday/full mths.
Bt I decided to snap out of all these more than 1 year back....tt is aft my dad passed away...Tt is my wake up call...I tink losing someone I loved is the most miserable thing...and hving a child is a bonus. I m not sour grapes...bt at least we hv a supportive hubby right?
Sometimes I still feel sad not to hv children soon...bt I keep telling myself my turn will come soon...There is no point to keep away from my frens cos this will make myself miserable oni...no point...So just cheer up and face it...
When faced wif preggie frens and koligs or ppl ard u, jus use 平常心去对待. I noe its v sad to hear abt all these...I used to tink like u..hide myself at home and refuse to mit up wif preggie frens or attend their full months....and even argue and quarrel wif dh not to attend our close mutual frens' children birthday/full mths.
Bt I decided to snap out of all these more than 1 year back....tt is aft my dad passed away...Tt is my wake up call...I tink losing someone I loved is the most miserable thing...and hving a child is a bonus. I m not sour grapes...bt at least we hv a supportive hubby right?
Sometimes I still feel sad not to hv children soon...bt I keep telling myself my turn will come soon...There is no point to keep away from my frens cos this will make myself miserable oni...no point...So just cheer up and face it...
Tigi,
No worries, I guess we noe each other best besides our dh...Harlow, I m also in my 30s liao ok? No longer younger, bt definitely young at heart!
I bought the Redaxon soluable Vit C...those pill type can dissolve in water de...I find it v good..cure my mild cough during my Suprefact period...another good method to stop itchy throat is to swallow slices of butter...tried and tested
it helps!
Enjoy yr upcoming trip and dun tink so much...jus go enjoy!
No worries, I guess we noe each other best besides our dh...Harlow, I m also in my 30s liao ok? No longer younger, bt definitely young at heart!
I bought the Redaxon soluable Vit C...those pill type can dissolve in water de...I find it v good..cure my mild cough during my Suprefact period...another good method to stop itchy throat is to swallow slices of butter...tried and tested
Enjoy yr upcoming trip and dun tink so much...jus go enjoy!
babygalore,
Cos my ILs no longer ask us to give her a grandchild..instead she urge my BIL and his gf to get married soon and ASK HIS GF infront of me TO GET MARRIED AND HV CHILDREN SOON...Can u imagine she said tt infront of me????? Mabbe she might not mean it, bt I tel dh I feel hurt! Hw can she pose such a question to my BIL gf infront of me????? U noe the gf give me a funni look? I was so paiseh....bt wat to do..I cannot lay eggs wat...so no talk lo...
If eva someone really ask me, I will just reply, 可欲不可求 and jus smile away lo...and if those v irritating ppl, I will jus smile and refuse to answer lo..cos the more u answer, the more they are going to question...Jus pretend u din hear them and they will understand le...
For my frens, I m v confident tt they will not question us..cos they noe we wan children v much..so some things are better to be left unsaid...
Cos my ILs no longer ask us to give her a grandchild..instead she urge my BIL and his gf to get married soon and ASK HIS GF infront of me TO GET MARRIED AND HV CHILDREN SOON...Can u imagine she said tt infront of me????? Mabbe she might not mean it, bt I tel dh I feel hurt! Hw can she pose such a question to my BIL gf infront of me????? U noe the gf give me a funni look? I was so paiseh....bt wat to do..I cannot lay eggs wat...so no talk lo...
If eva someone really ask me, I will just reply, 可欲不可求 and jus smile away lo...and if those v irritating ppl, I will jus smile and refuse to answer lo..cos the more u answer, the more they are going to question...Jus pretend u din hear them and they will understand le...
For my frens, I m v confident tt they will not question us..cos they noe we wan children v much..so some things are better to be left unsaid...
Rostrum sometimes I think pple just want to ask because they just want to know why are we not giving birth yet or they run out of topics to talk
Like my colleague who asked me today when is my turn to go for materity leave because the girl in his team, the one who got pregnant through IVF by Dr Loh would be going for her maternity leave soon.
So I just told him, no maternity leave yet but hopefully soon
Like my colleague who asked me today when is my turn to go for materity leave because the girl in his team, the one who got pregnant through IVF by Dr Loh would be going for her maternity leave soon.
So I just told him, no maternity leave yet but hopefully soon
Rostrum, i do wish i can bring myself to visit my frd when she gave birth but i still cant do so coz i m afraid i will fall in emotion again... so i tell myself even if she is gtg to be angry with me i will not blame myself coz she shld know i m in a fragile stage of emotions now.. I know i shld not feel this way but i cant help it...
Gan, u r right to in touch with frds with kids but at the moment i m still not ready...
Gan, u r right to in touch with frds with kids but at the moment i m still not ready...
lyn, can understand that, whatever we do should be true to our own feelings.
Yes being the wife of the eldest son is more stressful. my hubby is the youngest so not so pressure by in laws. But i think ils think i am the one with problems lor . Like got programme on tv abt tcm for woman infertility, my ILs will call us to ask us watch!
At times like this will just try not take it too hard. My excuse if pple ask of not having a kid now is i am old liao!
Yes being the wife of the eldest son is more stressful. my hubby is the youngest so not so pressure by in laws. But i think ils think i am the one with problems lor . Like got programme on tv abt tcm for woman infertility, my ILs will call us to ask us watch!
At times like this will just try not take it too hard. My excuse if pple ask of not having a kid now is i am old liao!
Gan,
Cool man...u can jus answer lidat to yr kolig...For me, I will always just say "ke yu bu ke qiu" so in no time nobody will ask me anymore...lolx..Anyway my office are mostly young gals, so not much ppl preggie..
Lyn,
Dun worry, u will get out of all these v soon...trust me...Bt if yr fren noes u went thru a rough patch before, she shd understand u and not be angree wif u...
My dh is the younger son, elder bro going to ROM in 2 mths time...though we shd not feel the stress bt cos we married for v long le as I married young, thus all attention will be focused on us! And they are oni 2 bros in the family wif no grandchildren yet...so u can c hw stressed we are?
Cool man...u can jus answer lidat to yr kolig...For me, I will always just say "ke yu bu ke qiu" so in no time nobody will ask me anymore...lolx..Anyway my office are mostly young gals, so not much ppl preggie..
Lyn,
Dun worry, u will get out of all these v soon...trust me...Bt if yr fren noes u went thru a rough patch before, she shd understand u and not be angree wif u...
My dh is the younger son, elder bro going to ROM in 2 mths time...though we shd not feel the stress bt cos we married for v long le as I married young, thus all attention will be focused on us! And they are oni 2 bros in the family wif no grandchildren yet...so u can c hw stressed we are?
ellesie
Active Member
Hi sisters,
sorry for being mia for quite sometime. Been feeling not well recently, though no morning sickness but keep having dizzy spells. And also busy with the preparation for the charity end of this week.
Babygalore,*hugs hugs*. Be strong. Tell urself next time u will show them the tummy to shut them up.I know how irritating it is. But dun let them affect you as wat's their comment is not important. What din bother you won't hurt you.
Actually most of my family knows my condition now only PIL. actually i want to tell FIL but I dun want to let my MIL know. hahaha, very bad me. My hub keep asking, when are you going to tell? almost everyone knows liao except them. I say aiya, let the tummy talks.My mom will visit me this CNY and stay with me for a month. Sure this will make my MIL's drool cos she can't contribute to the grandchild. kakakaka.
Lyn, I totally understand how you feel. A close fren of mine is a the type very easy to conceive, which like one intercourse at right time, she strike liao. when she strike for 3rd time unplanned, she asked me whether to abort. I flared up. She knows my struggle with infertility yet here she told she wanted to abort the baby. I gave her a real hard scolding and ask her to give me the baby instead. hahaha. then she realised and apologised.When she knows i conceived now, she din show any happiness but give me all those horror stories raising kids. Haiz,now I know wat is fren and wat is acquaintance. Take your time, no need to rush. Real fren would understand you.
Tigi, happy holidays. My MIL also suggests to spend CNY overseas cos she feels she got no face to visit the relatives and we're still "barren". hahahaha.
Rostrum, ya, it's a good answer when u're asked. My DH is the only son and we've been married for 9 years. Imagine the pressure, but as times goes by, MIL runs out of her sarcasm and ignore me instead which is really a relief to me. She always thot it's my problem as I have ectopic before. When i was warded for the operation to remove the ectopic, her first word to me is, did doc says u still can conceive? no concern word, nothing. It really breaks my heart.I din have any mini confinement nor tonic soup. Back to work once discharged from hospital. Whole even build up the hatred in me. It takes me years to let go and now I only got pitiness for her.
Gan, tat is a positive thinking of you too. Sharing our love with relatives or fren's kids. I even make my best fren's son my godson.She's the real best fren of mine. She cried when I told her i conceived.
We are all here to support each other and bitching on those insensitive ppl. hahahaha.
Jia you and enjoy the coming cny.
sorry for being mia for quite sometime. Been feeling not well recently, though no morning sickness but keep having dizzy spells. And also busy with the preparation for the charity end of this week.
Babygalore,*hugs hugs*. Be strong. Tell urself next time u will show them the tummy to shut them up.I know how irritating it is. But dun let them affect you as wat's their comment is not important. What din bother you won't hurt you.
Actually most of my family knows my condition now only PIL. actually i want to tell FIL but I dun want to let my MIL know. hahaha, very bad me. My hub keep asking, when are you going to tell? almost everyone knows liao except them. I say aiya, let the tummy talks.My mom will visit me this CNY and stay with me for a month. Sure this will make my MIL's drool cos she can't contribute to the grandchild. kakakaka.
Lyn, I totally understand how you feel. A close fren of mine is a the type very easy to conceive, which like one intercourse at right time, she strike liao. when she strike for 3rd time unplanned, she asked me whether to abort. I flared up. She knows my struggle with infertility yet here she told she wanted to abort the baby. I gave her a real hard scolding and ask her to give me the baby instead. hahaha. then she realised and apologised.When she knows i conceived now, she din show any happiness but give me all those horror stories raising kids. Haiz,now I know wat is fren and wat is acquaintance. Take your time, no need to rush. Real fren would understand you.
Tigi, happy holidays. My MIL also suggests to spend CNY overseas cos she feels she got no face to visit the relatives and we're still "barren". hahahaha.
Rostrum, ya, it's a good answer when u're asked. My DH is the only son and we've been married for 9 years. Imagine the pressure, but as times goes by, MIL runs out of her sarcasm and ignore me instead which is really a relief to me. She always thot it's my problem as I have ectopic before. When i was warded for the operation to remove the ectopic, her first word to me is, did doc says u still can conceive? no concern word, nothing. It really breaks my heart.I din have any mini confinement nor tonic soup. Back to work once discharged from hospital. Whole even build up the hatred in me. It takes me years to let go and now I only got pitiness for her.
Gan, tat is a positive thinking of you too. Sharing our love with relatives or fren's kids. I even make my best fren's son my godson.She's the real best fren of mine. She cried when I told her i conceived.
We are all here to support each other and bitching on those insensitive ppl. hahahaha.
Jia you and enjoy the coming cny.
Elle, so nice to have a frd like yours this is wat u called true frds lor.. Nowadays ppl around us r becoming more and more hypocrite so ppl who ask when u having a baby and claiming they asking becoz they r concern this i m not sure whether they r sincere or not.. some frds who r single they may not understand our pain... So u must really treasure this frd of yours.
Gan, u gtg accu quite often hor? U got any idea when universal studio will be open?
Tigi, ya Lotte world is very nice... All in house dun have to worry rain or shine...
Gan, u gtg accu quite often hor? U got any idea when universal studio will be open?
Tigi, ya Lotte world is very nice... All in house dun have to worry rain or shine...
lyn dunno when universal studio will open but hope by march so that i can go enjoy the rides before my FET!
Dun worry abt whether ur sil will get pregnant first now. like what chinese say 'when the boat reach the end of the bridge, it will be straight' who knows u could be pregnant in the coming months!
now when i go acu, it's like massage especially the back acu, quite relaxing i find. Maybe u can go like once a week first, and dun think abt tcc as the reason u go but more to relax and tiao ur body
Dun worry abt whether ur sil will get pregnant first now. like what chinese say 'when the boat reach the end of the bridge, it will be straight' who knows u could be pregnant in the coming months!
now when i go acu, it's like massage especially the back acu, quite relaxing i find. Maybe u can go like once a week first, and dun think abt tcc as the reason u go but more to relax and tiao ur body
Hi ladies, juz wana vent my unhappiness here... 2day some1 commented that i so small size can how to get pregnant... see there r indeed alot of evil ppl around us that look down on us for having difficulties getting pregnant. Cannot tahan! I was very angry but better now after hearing wat babyglaore had said... Babyglaore thks again.
Lyn, that person is totally ignorant and "wu liao" what has size got to do with pregnancy?? So many petite ladies have given birth to beautiful babies and even twins or multiples.
She must have been envious of your petite figure and said stupid things to make herself feel better.
ignore her!
She must have been envious of your petite figure and said stupid things to make herself feel better.
ignore her!
Gan, these 2 days really down my luck... yesterday gana bombarded by wu liao ppl 2day take cab gana one super irriating taxis uncle ( having headache tats y take cab ) Told him i gtg lavender and he kept quite so i thought he wanted to ask which block or watever so i told him blk 816... then he suddenly in a not friendly tone telling me dun take me the blk hor u passengers always like to tell driver the blk u thought we know every places in singapore meh.. Irriating rite? Feel so frustrated of my headache i asked him to shut up and give me some peace which he did. Then when i reached my place he purposely let me alight at the point where there is an uneven flooring so i ask uncle why cant u stopped infront so that i can alight better u know wat he said? He say y here can alight juz push the door harder leh... So very angry, feel like slapping him!
Sorry, these 2 days really venting all my angry here hope u all understand...
Sorry, these 2 days really venting all my angry here hope u all understand...
Gals,
V funni...today is my D13 eva since my failed cycle...AF actually stops at D7...bt today got spotting leh....v lil la..wun stain the panty liner...bt everytime wipe will hv the staining...Haiz..dunno issit haywire or wat? Kinda sad cos reminds me of tt nite when I keeo waking up to check on my spotting...haiz...
Did anyone of u experience tis before?
I never had any mid cycle bleeding one leh..tis is the 1st time..sigh!
V funni...today is my D13 eva since my failed cycle...AF actually stops at D7...bt today got spotting leh....v lil la..wun stain the panty liner...bt everytime wipe will hv the staining...Haiz..dunno issit haywire or wat? Kinda sad cos reminds me of tt nite when I keeo waking up to check on my spotting...haiz...
Did anyone of u experience tis before?
I never had any mid cycle bleeding one leh..tis is the 1st time..sigh!
lyn, i agree with gan that the person is really ignorant.... size has absolutely nothing to do with pregnancy.... i know of a lady who is 1.5 m and petite... and is a mother of two.... dun bother about her... best is to ignore her comment... when you make no response, hopefully she feel embarassed about her ignorance and shut her trap...
The taxi driver uncle is too much... if you dun tell him the block how would he know where to bring you to... a street name is no enough because the it can be a very long street.... did you slam his taxi door hard? that is for his poor customer service...
well rest, nurse your headache and dun give a damn to lousy ppl like these..... !
The taxi driver uncle is too much... if you dun tell him the block how would he know where to bring you to... a street name is no enough because the it can be a very long street.... did you slam his taxi door hard? that is for his poor customer service...
well rest, nurse your headache and dun give a damn to lousy ppl like these..... !
