Child Adoption

Nicole,
GLad to hear that you and yr girl is much relax now. Don worry they wont get use to it like the sarong. Once they are 3.5mths when they learning to flip it will not be safe to put her in the rocker. That will be the time she has to adjust to sleeping without rocking.
Did u clean her mouth everyday before her bath? U need to clean her mouth and gums everyday to avoid fungus. My girl has it when she is 2mths and she needs to take antibotics.
 


BlesswBB (confuse),

thx. I do clean her tongue and mouth twice per day during bath and wiping her in the evening but i guess it was not thorough enough. Just now we met 1 of my mom's neighbour, she ask me to use jing feng shan to clean it, it shd go away. I will try it today and see how, if it doesn't work then i will have to bring her to dr again on mon or tue.
 
Hi ladies,
Thread seems to be very quiet. My girl got intestines infection since Monday. Brgt her to PD ytd seems to be better but her stools has caused her buttock redness with diaper rash. This is the 1st time it happen to her. It was so painful that she has been very crying alot.
sad.gif
 
Blesswbb,
Sayang!! Hope she'll get well soon.

Nicole,
How's are you getting with you baby, so far so gd?

Elle & Janella,
How're you? Didn't hear from you... Any latest new to update us?
 
Doc say the infections could be due to food allergy or dirty stuff that she taken (must be licking the floor too much). I was trying to change milk formula to Nan3 but it seems her stomach can't take it.
 
Blesswbb
already moving to step3? That's fast! I think better to let her drink step 2 till July. Hope she is feeling better.
 
SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05)/ ladies,

my girl has been cranky on and off so i hardly has any time to come online cos the minute she sleeps i will have to quickly go wash up her clothes and have my meals. ( As her sleeping period is very short, easily woken up by noises or sounds).

Btw, has any of u ladies babies had to undergo 2nd hearing tests? My girl's hearing test did not reach satisfactory level hence she has been given an appt to go back for re-screening. Getting worried as the days comes nearer, hope everything's fine with her.

And I just brought her to polyclinic for her hep b jab on fri, she has been very cranky that day, couldn't sleep or drink well. She started crying since 8+pm on and off and sometimes cry till her face turn red almost black. Frightened me and my mom. No matter how we try to coax her or hold her she refuse to stop crying. my poor baby! If only i know how to help her.

Then by 11+pm, she finally stop and fall into a deep sleep and woke up 4 hrs later for her milk. Today she seems to be in a better mood.

Oh yes, do u mommies wake ur babies up for milk at nite? Cos I was told to let her sleep if she din cry for milk at nite but she seems to fart a lot when she din drink according to the scheduled timing. What shd i do?
 
dream,
Step3 for Nan is for babies from 10mths to 3yrs. I will continue Nan2 until she turn 1 and will be changing to Gain or even Dumex.
 
Nicole,
Normally after the jab u need to soothe the pain on the thigh by using warm towel. Maybe her cry could be due to pain...she could have feel pain on the thigh when u carrying her.
Wow...your girl don wake up for her milk at nite...that's great...u still can have your good sleep. Is advisable to continue feeding at nite till she is 3-4mth if u think your bb is under weight. But if your bb is growing well u can stop the nite feeding. It is good that yr bb can fart as this show that she is not having colic. So don worry abt it too much. As long as she can drink it's not a big problem.
 
Yes nicole, like what BlesswBB said, u can let yr baby sleep on at night as she will be less cranky, and sufficient sleep actually promotes growth. But I was kiasu, n kept waking my baby up every 3 hrs even up to 7 months to have his feeding at night, cos' I actually enjoyed watching him go thru the motion n suck from the bottle despite shutting his eyes...
 
BlesswBB (confuse),

she does wake up for her milk religiously every nite. The only time she din was the 1st week when she was back. She was so tiny then and i worry she may not have enough so i woke her up. She was only abt 2kg when she came to us initially. But now she is 3.6kg, i feel more relieve seeing that she has grown. Thx for sharing abt soothing the pain on her thigh.

Mummyportia (mummyportia),

i think i was like you worry she may not have enough so i woke her up to drink and now she wakes me up religiously every nite for the feed. Haha!
 
Hi Mrs Tan (devil_pinky),

my husband and I have recently adopted a local baby thru an agent and we paid him 25k. We dun exactly know how much he has to pay the lawyer but i have checked with another law firm and I think they charge abt 3k+.

I have to check if you want otherwise u can consider the 1 representing us now. He seems quite experienced but i wouldn't know how much he charge, u can always call him and find out. His company name is Lui Jong Sim & company.
 
Hi mommies,

i have an issue that I need some clarification. I read from the net that adoptive mothers can breastfeed babies too. But it seems difficult for me to understand how? I am asking this bcos everytime when I carried my girl against my chest, she seems to be searching for my nipple. And when she can't find it, she will lick and suckle on my clothes. And then she will start to scream and cry till she fall asleep. Do u all have this issue with ur babies? I am trying to read up more to find out. Meanwhile, pls advise! Thx
 
Nicole,
We can breadfeed our babies but this need to pre-prepare 6mths before the baby arrive. I read an article abt it a few months back and those mummies who went thru said that they need to pump the breast everyday for every 2hrs interval to stimulate the glands on the breasts. Its quite painful to go thru this but i think it will be too late for you to try it now.
My girl doesn't has this problem but she do look for my nipple at times.
 
BlesswBB (confuse),

aiyah, shd have done my homework earlier. Anyway, i am trying to call thomson medical. They have a consultant there who is very good, I would like to go down and see what she says 1st. Thx!
 
hi, like to enquire if we can get local adoption for newborn as there are also many unwed singapore teenagers here? where are their babies gone to, upon delivery?
 
Mrs Tan (devil_pinky),

no problem, hope it helps.



onsansg (onsansg),

hi based on my experience, it is not easy. We waited for abt 2 years for my baby gal and we were on the verge of giving up when our agent suddenly rang me up 1 day and told us the news.

You can try this place, someone recommended it but we didn't try cos like I say we were about to give up the idea of adoption.

http://www.thkms.org.sg/help.html

Hope it is helpful.
 
Hello everyone! Wah, haven't logged onto this forum in a long time and so nice to find new friends here! Welcome!

Nicole - congratulations! So happy to read you've got a bb girl in your life! I hope this new journey brings you many many moments of pure joy! I smiled when I read your post about your baby crying till she turned from red to 'black'. i remember when my bb came home to us and just by stretching her limbs, she would turn reddish and when she cried, lagi red lah! I panicked each time and finally called the PD and the nurse laughed and told me that it's normal cos babies are so tiny so when they exert themselves blood flows/circulates and causes them to look redder (smaller surface area I guess!)

Breastfeeding
Alice (my agent) told me that she had an adoptive mum who successfully breastfed AFTER the bb came home to her. She went to KKH and was put on some meds to stimulate lactation. Nicole, I think you are on the right track by going to speak to a lactation consultant. I had read up on bfg b4 bb came and like Blesswbb, was under the impression that gotta prep mths in advance BUT after I heard the success story from Alice, I kinda regretted and wished I had known about it earlier. So, all the best as you pursue this avenue!

I recommended a friend recently to Alice and they just adopted a 3 week old baby boy - so happy for them!

To the rest of you ladies out there - hello! and hope you are all well.
 
Nicole
I did not realize that you had been waiting for 2 years but most important is that your little girl has found you when you least expected. I guess life is full of surprises and I am sure she has changed your life. Your girl has really grown well and you d better take lots of pictures as time really flies! Can't believe that my boy is already 8 months plus! I also can remember vividly the first days he came home. Hope you can settle the paperworks soon so that you can move to Indonesia. I hope your hubby can come and visit you often. It is also important for her dad to bond with her little princess.
 
Hi dream (dream09),

ya i agree with you, life is always full of surprises and she is indeed a nice surprise. But I am also feeling drained out from caring her as I am still trying to learn more abt her.

But it is not easy cos her pattern changes every week. I am feeling stressed from losing sleep and dropping loads of hair from it too. Sigh! I suppose that is part and parcel of being a mom 24/7.

Ya i hope the paperworks are done and approved sooner cos i miss my hubby too and he misses his little angel.

We will be seeing our mcys officer thus coming wed and I hope everything goes well. According to her the interview is gonna last 2 to 3hrs. That is really long!!! And wew are supposed to bring our little girl along too.

Are ur interviews that long too? Wow, time really flies, ur baby boy is already 8 months old? So he has started on solids?
 
Nicole,
the first few months are the hardest but hang in there. My little boy was difficult too, waking up every 2 hours. Try to nap when she does and try to take vitamins as well. Somehow, you need to rest so that you can be healthy to take care of her.

Excited that your inteview is coming soon. I am sure you will do fine. Try to go thru the questions that are usually asked for home study reports. I think you can find them on touch website. All the bests
 
Nicole, can I ask you a few questions? I hv an Indonesian friend who is keen to adopt and her husband is America. how should she go about the adoption? She heard that she has to the HSR in Indonesia but she has to stay there for 2 years.
 
Iwantitvmuch,
not sure whether Nicole can help as I think she is a Singaporean. Just moving to Indonesia to follow her hubby who works there. Nicole, am I correct?

Nicole
how was your office interview?
 
iwantitvmuch (iwantitvmuch),

ya, dream is rite I am a s'porean i only went to indo cos my hubby's working there. However, I heard from alice that no matter where u r (being a s'porean) u can always adopt a baby in the country u r in (example for my case, my hubby's working in indo, i will have to be there for 2 years in order to be able to adopt a child in indonesia).

dream (dream09),

I dunno what came over me, i have been very emo thru'out the interview. Each qn that the officer asked me i seems to be answering her with tears. I just couldn't control myself. She even asked me what if the adoption is not approved by the court, what would i do? I couldn't answer her and started tearing. Luckily my hubby was there to console me and hugged me.

I dunno what would the officer think and i kept apologising to her for being emotional. Maybe I was already feeling stressed from my gals crying and having to wake up in the nite for her feeds. I dunno!

Yesterday after the interview, my hubby and I went for the checkup which mcys requires and I actually lost 4kg from the time baby cpmes home to us till now. It is good news in a way but no so good for my health.

In th end we have no choice but decided to let our baby sleep in sarong, which was what i never wanted in the 1st place. And she managed to sleeep for abt 5 hrs till her next feed. Hope everything improves and gets better.

my sis in law taught me to just feed her water if she wakes up in the middle of the nite and during the day, feed her on time so she can get used to the routine.

In any case, she is already 3.6kg when we brought her for her jab 2 weeks ago. + she looks rounder now, haha!

i AM CONTEMPLATING whether to continue with the stimulation for breastfrrding cos my girl is very demanding. She likes to be carried to sleep.
 
Nicole
I can understand how you feel. Having to answer all these questions bring back lots of bad memories and talking about it can be painful.

Also the adoption process is really stressful, being scrutinized on whether we can be good parents. I always feel it is such a discrimination. The lack of sleep does not help either and you mustbe exhausted from the sleeples nights. You are very courageous to do the stimulation but if your health can't take it, better just stop it and rest. Your little girl needs a healthy mum and nowadays the milk formulae are very advanced and close to bm! So don't add more stress to yourself! My 2 cents worth but I understand that you want to give the best to your daughter. So, just do what feels right for you!

Your girl is growing very fast. I think she will start to sleep longer hours and you will feel much better after that.
 
Nicole, u've done a gd job don't worried abt the emomtional moments during the interview. Itz bring back sad/ bad memories, i also teared when they asked me few questions.

And rdgs to sarong initially we also dun want to let My lil one sleep in sarong but no choice. U can try to let her sleep in baby cot during nite then she'll not get fully adapt to it. Now we stopped letting my lil one sleep on sarong, she can adapt easily on mattress，
 
dream (dream09)/SWEETCL05 (sweetcl05),

thx for your reassurances and advice, I will bear them in mind. I suppose these are some of the things we have to go thru to be a better mom. I suppose i will have to learn to take things step at a time. Like for now, I think I shd learn more abt my girls pattern b4 i embark on the breastmilk cos if she needs so much of my attention now, I shd be there for her 1st rather than thinking of providing her the breastmilk.
 
Hi ladies, can i join this forum? Juz failed my ivf and now considering adoption before DH is not supportive abt it...

Dream, r u the same dream that i have chatted before at dr f forum?
 
Lyn,
Yep, this is me! Let me know if I can be of any help. If you have time, it will be good if you read the past posts. Most of us have gone through the same hardship and now are happy and proud mothers. Hope you can get inspired by some of the stories
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Nicole,
I think we all try to be super woman but as you say, better prioritize and go step by step. Otherwise, you will feel overwhelmed and stressed by the situation. Just enjoy being a mother
happy.gif
 
Dream, happy to see u here. I will read all the past posting when i got time. I m not ready to go for adoption now but i m juz keeping my option open.. but DH is not keen at all
 
Hi all, would anyone be able to share Alice's contact? I've heard alot of this Alice, would like to contact her to find out more about adoption process. Thanks girls.
 
Hi working wife, u considering adoption? R u doing ivf or anything? Do u have the address of the lotus website? Tks alot...
 
Hi ladies

It has been a long, long time since I logged in.Nothing much was happening then and I had nothing much to share.However, I'll like to share some good news now.

Two days ago, we adopted a baby girl. She was born on 21 May and is now 9 days old. We adopted her through Amman Adoption agency.

Only today, do I realise how worth it, it has all been. Only today, did I fall totally in love with her. I didn't fall in love with her at first sight though my husband did. Overnight, I lost all my 'me' time but right now, i really don't care.

To all those contemplating adoption, don't fret if you see a baby and find that you don't feel anything! Just before I adopted my little girl, there was a baby I saw but I felt that we were not the right parents for her. Coupled with that, there wasn't any chemistry. I felt so guilty then. But I think such feelings are normal.

I have to sprint now. My baby is crying!I'll catch up with you all again.
 
Janella,
congrats! Welcome to motherhood! I'm so happy for u.
Enjoy yr time with her & u find that the bond will get stronger.
If u have any problem & queries u want to share we are happy to share with u.
 
Hi janella, congrats for ur new baby. Care to share whether ur baby is a local and how much u paid for it? I know wat u mean by no chemistry at first...
 
Lyn, I haven't made any payment yet but its going to be $22 000 to be paid in stages. My baby is a Malaysian.

I'll be quite frank here. Actually TOUCH did offer me a chance to adopt a local baby girl who was going to be born at the end of May. But I felt that the process was not suitable for me because on the day I see the baby, I have to take her. There was no such thing as chemistry and all that. Lyn, you can always contact WeiLei from TOUCH. I was told that she will do her best to locate a local baby if that is what you want. And if you are worried about finances, the cost is minimal.

For me, it was important that the baby be healthy and that I must feel some chemistry. Even with my baby girl, I only felt a teeny weeny bit of chemistry but I decided that the bond will come later.And boy was I right! I must add though that during the medical exam, the doctor discovered two small holes in her heart. But its expected to heal within 6 months.

Go with your gut feeling.You may feel guilty if you have to turn down a baby for any reason, but I told myself the last time that there will always be someone else who will adopt her.If you need to know anything more, let me know.

BlessBB and SweetCL, I am really so happy to be a mother. The bond with my baby girl just keeps growing.
 
Janella, actually i m in a stage of confusion. After i have failed my ivf in april, both me and my husband was so sad abt it and now my hubby decided that we shld have a baby only when it comes naturally and we felt ivf is too much to handle when it failed! However my hubby is not keen on adoption at all his reason is he dont see a need to take others child just to make our own family a complete one.. but on the other hand i think differently. My thinking is since i have difficulties conceving but have a good family condition i m considering to do some good deeds by providing a family for the less fortunate children.
Janella and other ladies, do u have any tips to share on this? TIA
 
Janella,
congratulations!!! Am so happy for you
happy.gif
.

Lyn,
I think it's only natural for some males to react this way. My husband did not jump into the bandwagon when i wanted to adopt, nor did some of my family members. My hubby fully commited to adopting when he saw our son. Till then, my hubby was worried for so many things. He might just be worried,as it is a totally new ballgame or maybe he is not as ready as you to move on and think about adopting. As you have already expressed your readiness, give him time to get there too? I think a good talk, and addressing all the possible fears will help him overcome his resistance. And you need to tell him that it's not about taking another child from another famil to make your family complete. It's not the child's fault that he/she was born. But at least, he/she will have an opportunity to be blessed with a loving home. Maybe you can make an appointment with TOUCH? or attend their workshops.
 


Hi Janella,
I'm so glad u've taken this step. Congrats!! And yes, you will continue to bond with your precious until there comes a point it's no longer an issue because she will love u ardently, just like how my son is now so clingy n lovey he cannot imagine anyone else taking his mummy's place. And it's amazing how i'm transformed daily too, as my baby grows n evolves under my care into a toddy that makes me smile n laugh through the gd (when he achieves the little milestones of growth) n bad days (when he falls ill), making me feel so mummyish now. Enjoy your mummyhood Janella
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Lyn,
I fully agree with babylove80. Men need more time to get used to the idea, as there are so many issues that can't be fully explained through words, which could imply their inadequacies for one. Most of our hubbies have gone through the long n painful journey toward being a daddy. U'll definitely find it helpful to contact TOUCH adoption services, who will get u to think and work through the issues, esp when u sign up for their pre-adoption workshops just to find out more.
 
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