Child Adoption

Hi ladies

Its been some time, I had my hands on this thread
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Hope all s well for you & your loved ones...

Its been a couple of weeks, since things have started to fall in places..i expected them to be.
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Just wanted to share & enquire a couple of hits & misses I came across in the baby fair's i went to..I'm sure many of u would also been to the same
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1. Taka baby fair

A lot of hits...We went to the fair to look for some baby cot & the rocker stuffs. when we approached the promoter for the product..the first Q that pops out.."Is it for your baby?" "U sure???" Couldn't stop laughing!!!! When I told a promoter that I'm expecting the baby in June, I least expected she would come next to me to touch my tummy to say "you don;t look like that?!" some of the promoters thought we were just making fun...Some of them turned to real potential buyers (ladies with a cute baby bump
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)

2. Baby expo

Realising how we were treated there, we decided to declared to continue to say our baby expecting in june..that gave us too much of happiness & a feeling that I'm gonna be a mom..a feeling of being a real birth mother
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. I think, other prospective adoptive ladies, who are also in the process of adopting a baby, can also use this technique to feel about becoming a mom...Believe me it feels reallllllly good
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Now, coming to my enquiries....
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Has one used either of these products & whats your on the use of cloth diapers in general? I came across these stalls that sells cloth diapers...one diaper fits all kids.
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1. http://www.moomookow.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index

2. http://www.bumwear.com/
This is also a similar stuff...

I understand that taking care of baby itself is a heavy task & some more...such washing stuffs are even more labour intensive..just wanted to save some $ as i'm a housewife
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Mrs_ha, dont worry about all the funny looks and looks of disbelieve. I have even had sales people just look at me and walk away. Too bad it was their loss!! I went through all of it. But I also make good friends, like for example the lady from moomookow. She was so thrilled to know that I had adopted. We must always remember that a birth mother carries her child in her tummy for 9 months but an adoptive mother carries her child in her heart from the time she decides to adopt.

Baby expo is where I got a lot of the sutff needed for my baby. The other place is Baby hyperstore in kaki bukit. I got the cot and carseat from here.

I am using cloth diapers for my son. I am using the moomookow brand and find that it is very good. saves a lot of money. I only use 1 disposable diaper a day, that is only at night. You must be meticulous in changing cloth diapers though or else it will start to smell.
 
hi rameena4ever

That's nice to hear that I'm not alone.
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Just a few Q on moomookow

1. How many sets did u buy as a starter kit? How long does it take for the inserts to dry in our s'pore climate?

2. Do I need to buy atleast 15 sets as recommended by the sales people? It nearly costs a bomb to begin with? Does the inserts have a long lasting life, even after a daily wash? I mean can be used atleast for 6-8mths, till i buy the new set of inserts..Does the Hemp insert actually absorb throughout the night?

3. have u or ur friends tried other cloth diaper brands like babyland (Malaysian brand) or happeheinys (USA brand) ? Cost-wise baby-land seems to the cheapest.

Thanks again for the help ladies
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mrs_ha, My son was just 29 hours old when I brought him home. So for around 3 months I used disposable diapers cos his poop was liquid and washing cloth diapers was a little too much for me to handle being a first time mom and caring for him all by myself.

So I got 6 diapers to start and used them with nappy liners so I dont have so much of washing to do. I just take the poop and throw it away and change the cloth diaper.

If there is no poop,I just change the insert and change the nappy liner. The nappy liners can also be recycled. If there is no poop just wash the liners and reuse them. After using them for a while, I decided that I needed more cloth diaper and I got another 6 sets.

So now I have enought to last me the whole week. No need for the hemp insert unless you absolutely dont want to use disposables at all.

I use disposables at night as it is more convenient. I dont want my son to wake up at night so disposables are better.

The inserts are very long lasting so you need not change the inserts even after 6-8 months. Each cloth diaper from moomookow comes with 2 inserts and it is more than enough.

My friends have used bum wear but I personally like moomookow.
 
Wow....why is the thread so quite
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@rameena
I couldn't imagine how young u have got ur baby home
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Do u mean its enough for a week if I have 12 sets altogether? that's nice...

Also, I want to know, what kind of mattress did u buy for ur kid? I saw a couple of baby cots..some have latex mattress, some foam, some have mattress with holes...which will be good for the baby?

thanks
 
Hey Ladies

I believe the recent happenings has shaken the thread's movement a lot
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I dont see anyone here????


I wanted to share the happy moment that I've saw my son's photo..Alice believed the baby is well suited for us & we needn't wait for June to get a baby.

Since, we dint want to adopt our son early, due to other commitments, we had taken up some tasks. So, we had to finish our commitments & bring home our son.

The birth parents are yet to apply for the passport, so my son will be coming only by next week to singapore...& then the medical tests will be in Kinder clinic @ paragon...

I've taken notes from all the notes, advise & to buy items that all the seniors have written.

Now, I'm holding a big list of items to be purchased for him.

Only place, where I'm stuck is the "bottles"???
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Seriously, couldn't decide what to buy..my hubby's pref..NUK, MAM, playtex, Dr.Brown, Avent

Can I have ur opinions on what bottle to buy for the baby?

Thanks
 
@Mrs Ha, when your boy us w you, you will start understg why this thread can get silent at times... :D. I use Dr Brown, but do be prepared to spent a couple more secs per bottle during cleaning
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Mrs Ha,

Baby Ace is keeping me so busy, no time to post here though i do drop in for a quick look at times to see ur latest updates. So exciting!

I used Tomee Tipee bottles no colic so far . But they dun fit in regular bottle holders for going out.
 
Wow, Mrs Ha!!! YOUR baby is coming!!! Like Die2, your hv shared with us your entire journey... Thank you so much! SAHM has given u a v comprehensive list of things to prepare. Re bottles, be prepared to experiment with them depending on how well baby's drinking. Insofar, majority I know use either Nuk or Avent. Also, colic is so hard to prevent n u'll notice tonnes of websites about it. Our paed says
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whenever there r loads of opinions or varying solutions, tt usually means there's no solution. Cracked me up. Re cloth diapers, well, I did plan to use it too but reverted back to disposables cos sometimes as I was putting on one, she'd pee on it before I cd even put on the safety pin! N dun talk abt the poo n cleaning it yet! I just couldn't persevere - already sleep deprived so I abandoned the idea. I'm a fan of PetPet. C & G= cheap n good but diapers greatly depend on ye babies; depth of diapers (some more hi cut than others) n proneness to diaper rash.

After not coming to this thread for awhile (yes, my 2 gals take up almost all my time n definitely all my energy), there are so many stuff happening n hello to all the new entrants!
 
Mrs Ha, check also with Alice which bottle n milk powder baby has bn using. Depending on when you'll bring him home, he might already be used to those. Think abt whether u can pass them what you want him to use whilst waiting, if it's possible or convenient.

Meantime, big hugs to you! You've really come a long way!
 
hi mrs ha, super news .. i can imagine your excitement .. and perhaps a little anxiety as well
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for milk bottles i reckon many parents go through a trial and error period until they find one that baby likes most .. i tried nuk, avent, pigeon and in different sizes too (so in the end i had a container full of different milk bottle teats) .. before settling on dr brown .. cos that seems to be what my little princess is most happy with. like ourselves, i suppose babies have their preferences too
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as for diapers, i had a similar experience to andrea when it came to cloth diapers, so i stuck with disposables. i use pet pet during the day and mamy poko for nights
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actually, alice will also be a good resource person. she is very experienced and will be able to provide you with much advice.
 
Hey ladies

Thanks for all the wishes
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Thanks for all the support you have given to me so long...

Yesterday, I met my son @ Alice's house. He's so cute. I dint have the heart to leave him there. Alice told me about buying the bottles. Since my son is not a colic baby...She said I can use the normal tollyjoy bottles..Need not buy the anti-colic bottles..(there I go...I'm also bitten by the "my son the best" bug..
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). Got him diapers, milk powders & stuffs...

I've also joined the antenatal class @ Mt. Alvernia. Its quite cheaper than Thomson's. They were quite understanding when I explained to them about my situation.
 
hi, just to check for HSR, medical check up included what? just blodd and urine test or?I thought I saw a page on physical report that include qn like whether e breast is normal or abnormal?
Does anyone has engaged Happy Heart Child adoption agency? thanxs a lot for ur info cos i am thinking of adoption.
 
Hi Lailing

Welcome to the group. I think for the HSR, you need to do a normal bloodtest. Your GP can advise you on that. I believe, regarding the breast abnormality, when the GP keeps his stats on us to check the heartbeat, they can feel if its normal or not..

Sorry, I dind not use Happy Heart child adoption agency.

Hope this helps
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Did we need to go to gynae for any check up? Sorry for this silly an cos I am really clueless abt Tis check up. Thanxs in advance
 
oh ok. thanxs in advance. May I know which agency u use and e duration u wait for ur little one to be part of ur family? me still in consideration of which to use, either Lotus or happy Heart
 
Hey Ladies

Just wanted to check on the bottles again...

Alice has given tollyjoy standard neck bottle (normal) for my son. He's used to it now. I want to give him a BPA free bottle..Tollyjoy & pigeon have only wide neck bottle on BPA free bottles..Any other brands do u recommend BPA-free bottles..Can the baby adopt to wide-neck bottle from the standard neck bottle???

thanks
 
@ Mrs Ha, Wow ! your time has come finally right, u see when your Baby arrive, he will find you, not later, not earlier. I don't see any issue with switching between wide neck and standard neck. I use Dr Brown first 9 months than change all to Pigeon BPA free wide neck bottle (the bigger ones) now cause she drink more. It is usually the bottle tits which BB may take sometime to get use should not be a big issue.
Alice should be giving you the Tollyjoy bottle which she bought for your boy, she usually buy new bottle for each baby. You can can transit him to Pigeon slowly.

@Lai Ling, WHen u download the HSR form from the HSR accredited agencies you chose, there should be a form for medical check up, bring this form to the GP, this will allow them to follow the items on it to carry out your medical check, so no less nor more test will than be done
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@invictus, I PMed you
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hi mrs ha - congrats! sorry i've been out of touch.. been busy with my little girl - she started solids a couple of weeks ago and i hardly have any time these days. I started using Avent then switched to Dr Brown as my daughter had reflux. I tried going back to Avent when she was 4 months but she didn't like the bottle and teat so I switched to Nuk.
 
@Mrs Chou & @percy

Thanks for your wishes

I'm kind of nervous. My hubby also not in town, so have to run all the errants by myself...Too stressful. I think I need a mini break before my son comes home.

When I checked with Alice, she kind of insisted I use only standard neck bottles as he's used to it & not to buy $$$ bottles as he's not a colic baby..But still, I feel like using Dr.Brown, so that I can avoid all kinds of colic stuffs in future for him.

thanks for the help
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Hi ladies,
I have a friend, her hubby was from the yellow ribbon.....just wanted to know if anyone every adopted with this pass.
 
@Elizabeth, Though I do know a couple of people who r ex-offenders, but none of them has experience in adoption. I think the best people to answer this question will be the HSR accredited Agencies.

According to this e-citizen site link below, it did not mentioned parent(s) must be a NON ex-offenders. Again check it with the HSR agencies to get the best advise. http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/EligibilityIssues/CanIAdopt/

One thing to take note is, if adopting from PRC than CCAA requirements (which is quite stringent) have to be met (see link below). In this case they did specify not having past records is a requirements. Generally CCAA are more stringent with foreign adoption, I guess is to protect the kids.
http://www.china-ccaa.org/swsy/swsy_index_en.jsp

Hope this help
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One piece of advises for those who are filling up the HSR forms and preparing supporting documents.
If you have a scanner at home, do scan in all the documents and keep a copy in the hard-disk or backup.

It will come in really handy for submission of subsequent documentation / application i.e, Dependent Pass, Birthcert, Citizenship etc..
 
Hi Lai Ling,
Try here:
1) TOUCH ADOPTION SVCS: http://adoption.tcs.org.sg/services_home-study.html
2) FEI YUE ADOPTION: http://www.fycs.org/index.cfm?GPID=24 - contact them to send you a copy
3) SBL VISION ADOPTION: http://www.sblvisionfsc.org/services_report.asp

I was told that the number of couples wanting to adopt has tripled in numbers so if you can, fill them up quickly and then whilst waiting, take that time to consider if this is the way you are comfortable to begin a family... attend talks, ask your qns in here, etc.

all the best to you
 
Thanxs Andrea. Btw, let's say I am interested to adopt, what should I do first? Call up 'TOUCH' for the HSR or call Lotus( Alice) first? Thanxs in advance.
 
Contact Touch, Fei Yue or SBL Vision to get yr paperwork done because if u contact Alice or any other agencies now, they'd ask u if you hv completed yr Home Study Report. Unless you r S'porean and hv bn matched with a child here in S'pore, you won't need the HSR.

Hope this is a gd start. All the best!
 
Hi mummies

Now, I'm super tired after spring cleaning my home before my son is finally home. Thought of asking a couple of Qs...I might/ will be the most blurrrr mom anyone could have thought of
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1. has anyone tried giving your baby freshmilk that's available in the supermarkets like meiji, magnolia, farmhouse? (i mean the ones in the plastic can)

2. also regarding the jabs..has anyone opted for the 6-in-1 jab? or have you taken ur baby for jab everymonth like the one specified in the health booklet?

3. Regarding the food & the kind of milk to be given, have you taken your baby to any PD for a consultation/ adv? Which dr? any recommendations on that?

thanks

My son is coming home on sunday
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mra_ha,
1. NO FRESH MILK FOR BABY BELOW THE AGE OF 1. ABSOLUTELY NO. Not good for them.
2. My son had the 6 in 1.
3. You can ask your PD If you havr already have one.
 
Mrs Ha - I haven't check in for a while..... WOW! CONGRATS! Your moment has arrived. Am so happy and thrilled for you
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Here are my thoughts to your questions:

1. Giving fresh milk to infants might caused diarrhea and it lacks the sufficient nutrition baby needs. But I do hear say of mothers replacing formula milk with fresh milk after 1 year old or when they start to reject all kinds of formula milk. I plan to stick with formula as long as my gal wants it.

2. As for jabs, I will simply follow PD's advice as to when and what jab to be given as they need to administer according to the health booklet. However, there will be optional jabs which you might consider to give which is not in the health booklet.

3. I only consult PD regards food and milk if I noticed BB is not pooing or diarrhea sort of issues. During infant stage, we will see PD once or every other month for jabs so I do take opportunity to ask about anything if something bothers me. I believe all PD are qualified and good. So, just find one that is near your home and one that you feel comfortable to talk with.

Happy Parenting!
 
Hi Everyone

I've ttc for many years but in vain and now thinking of baby adoption but understand I need to submit HSR and the cost for one baby is S$25K which is very expensive...would anyone of you be able to share with me if there are cheaper rate than this please?

Thank you.
 
@SAHM, @rameena4ever

Thanks for the thoughts & wishes.
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@beanie

I think you need to read some of the earlier messages in the same thread, to know more info.
 
Hi Mrs Ha

Thanks for your mail. The previous thread were very helpful indeed. I am very touched and encouraged by many sucessful stories here...so good to know I am not alone seeking this path.

Beanie
 
@rameena4ever

I've also bought the cloth diapers for my son. I just wanted to check
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......

CAUTION: You're about to read the most blur (est) Q of your life....

- When I read about disposing the used nappy liner, I get different opinions about it.I thought I would check with you as you are using the cloth diaper along with the nappy liner
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. With the "p" on the liner, do you flush away the whole piece or just wash away the "p" & then dispose of the liner in the bin separately???

Sorry, for the most embarrassing doubt...
 
Ok people, rather disturb by a couple of post recently thus need to voice my thoughts.

@Babycool, I think this is not the thread for "Giving Up" your baby, you might want to go to the HSR accredited agency to seek help in MAKING A ADOPTION PLAN for the baby. A Baby is a life, making an adoption plan for a life is a BIG thing, I think you should talk to the counsellor in the accredited agencies before making any harsh decision. Posting on a forum this way is most inappropriate. I hope this thread will not be wrongfully used.
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/RelatedOrganisations/AccreditedAgencyForHomeStudyReport/

@Beanie, It is probably a innocent mistake, If adoption is really seriously what you consider, than try reading about respectful / positive adoption language (PAL). Dont use "cost of one baby" the life is not a product so it is important to use the right terms when talking about adoption. Trust me when you have your child through adoption in the future, the last thing you want is someone commenting "How much does this child cost ?" http://www.perspectivespress.com/pjpal.html
 
mrs _ha, Hahah!! dont worry about blur questions. Everyone has to start somewhere. I started by asking quesions too.
Okie, when there is poop on the liner, throw away the liner and poop. No need to give yourself additional work of flushing the poop away. You are going to be so busy with the baby. Just throw it away. I usually use around 4 liners each time cos baby's poop is rather liquid so 4 liner is required to catch the poop. but again not all babies are the same your baby maybe different.

When it is just pee, you can actually wash and recycle the liner. I recommend the pureen liner(pink box). pigeon liners I find that they actually are very narrow.

I would suggest you use disposable diapers till you get your routine in place. So you dont get too overwhelmed. You can get overwhelmed very easily caring for a baby. Especially with you have no help.
 
Hi Mrs Chou

thanks for correcting me...I didn't realised using positive adoption language is important until I saw the threads here...I will be careful then : ) I do agree that using positive language indeed helps clear away many misunderstanding....as I am exploring this option I hope u don't get me wrong but could forgive my "innocent mistake"...especially for "beginner" like me still very "new" to this topic. I really hope to adopt a baby but realised I need to save up more in order to proceed : (
 
Hi Beanie, You r most welcome, I believe is a totally innocent mistake from your part
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BTW you should consider approaching one of the HSR accreditted agency or Project Cherub, to have a chat about local adoption. What they can do is assist you by informing you if there is any parent who has make an adoption plan for their child. In such a case, you need not worry about the Agency fees cause there wont be any, what you need to take into consideration is the medical and legal fees and other miscellanous fees for the adoption document done if I am not wrong. It is also good to talk to them as they can help assist in knowing you and your spouse readiness in this area
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Check this link on more details.
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ChildrenNParenthood/AdoptAChild/AdoptionProcess/LocalAdoption/
 
Hi Mrs Chou

Thank you for giving me this information. My hb and I was only thinking of having a foreign baby as we heard from friends that local baby adoption is long queue. We are in our early 40s and don't think we want to wait that long...but in any case I think you are right in saying that we could explore local baby adoption to know further before we decide what to do next.
 


Hi Ladies

My son is home!!!!
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He came yesterday morning. We are having a good time from then.

I noticed that the caretaker family, that was taking care of my son for nearly 3 weeks, has got him into the habit of having pacifier. He's kind of addicted to it. He's not able to sleep without it.

Any tips, on how do I phase out the pacifier? Also, I read in the websites that he might be drinking less milk, later, if he's gonna continue his pacifier habit.

thanks for the help...

@beanie

Don't worry.. Just read through MCYS site. You could have more Qs after you read it & many Qs answered too... So,don't worry
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