Anyone did not have help during confinement?

[princess14]

Hi, I wish to know if there's any mummies who can share their experiences during confinement period, mainly those who did not have confinement nanny, maid or parents/in-laws to help? I am thinking of only getting confinement food from a confinement caterer (lunch/dinner). Mum and MIL both working full-time so cannot help.

I had CL for my 1st baby and I was really well rested. This is my 2nd baby and will also be my last, so I am also worried if not having a CL will affect my recovery as people say a bad confinement will leave us with a weak body when we are older.

Why I am thinking not to have a CL - getting expensive, might not have luck with a good CL end up more worries, have to worry about grocery shopping, small house; no extra room for CL, more peace in the house, #1 is 6yrs and independent in bathing himself and helping around, hubby usually does the laundry, I think I am more familiar with handling newborn too, confinement caterer food looks yummy too. But wonder if there is anything else I might not have considered about if I have no CL.

Do share!

 

[mrsgg]

I don't have experience with doing confinement without help. For my #2 this time, my hub will be taking leave and I will be catering confinement food so he can focus on bb, me and house. Whether you can do it without help also depends on how strict you intend to be with confinement practices. For e.g. the belief tt you should try not to carry heavy stuff, including bb (breastfeed lying down), but if you are alone and bb needs to be carried to sleep, then you can't avoid it. And also bathing of bb... you ok with that or your hub can help you with that?

And your 6 yr old, can he play independently or does he need your attention? If the latter, then you may not be getting sufficient rest in the day, and you need to make sure you do so that you can survive night feeds and maintain breastmilk supply.

It really depends on your attitude towards confinement, cos on one extreme, if you want to really just eat, sleep and feed bb and do nothing else for the whole of 4 weeks, then it's going to be very hard to achieve tt on your own without help. Some mummies can, others can't. You just need to be realistic about your own preferences and expectations.

 

[usaginoko]

I had a CL for #2 and I was still v tired! It's like not having a CL

Coz #1 (20mth old) wanted a lot of attention, needed me to shower her, make her milk, and #1 still woke up for nite feeds. And bec I was bf #2, I had to wake up 2-hourly to latch. All the CL did was bring bb to me at nite. The only help I appreciated was her cleaning his poo & vomit at nite so I can immed go back to zz after latch.

The CL brew 2 tonic soups for me daily, including brewing chicken essence over low heat for 4hrs. Plus there is papaya soup for lunch. If I had ordered confinement catering, I prob wouldn't get to drink that many soup.

I had a part-time cleaner to help with housework so not having CL also wouldn't affect much. Coz CL usually only mop kitchen after use. Rest of house they dun really clean.

If u feel u can cope with nite duty & household chores, or have hubby's help, can survive on v little rest n still have energy to entertain #1, dun mind not having more gd tonic soup n not being able to control your menu for 4wks, then i guess no CL also ok.

 

[mrsgg]

Actually catered confinement meals include soups for both lunch and dinner. I am kiasu so i'm going to get the soup packages from newbaby as well, just boil with water (meat optional) very convenient. Cos I love soups and I plan to breastfeed so I wanna drink as much soups as possible.

Wonder if it's possible to get neighbours' help. Maybe this is a gd time to get to know your neighbours a bit better and see if they can come over during the daytime to help with chores or at least keep your #1 company. Who knows, you may have a neighbour who has a lot of free time during the day and doesn't mind helping out.

 

[thelittleonesinmylife]

Hello! I didn't have confinement lady for both kiddos because I can't stand having a stranger tell me what I can or cannot do.
Also, I have my own thinking & method towards looking after my kids so CL is big nono for me.

I survived on confinement tingkat. And I think it helped a lot that my kids are easy to look after (eat-sleep-poop).
I got the tingkat from an auntie who cooks from home then her son/hubby will deliver to my place.

 

[princess14]

Thanks for all the sharing. Really appreciate the details.
Yes I know if I don't have CL, I really have to lower my expectations. I don't expect to eat, sleep and rest all the time, but I just hope body will have enough rest to recover fast. But having said that, I think even with a CL, I doubt she will bother much with my 6yo son. So with CL I'll still have to talk to him, give him directions as to what to do like he will have homework or spelling tingxie to learn. So I cant escape this with or without CL. Good thing is he is a rather good boy who is matured enough to listen and know what he should or shouldn't be doing.

Those who used confinement caterer, did you all find the food/soup was not hot/warm when it was delivered? Im worried it will be cold when delivered, which is no good. And is the soup nourishing enough for us during confinement? I mean...is it "bu" enough?

 

[thelittleonesinmylife]

Mine was warm/hot when delivered. Sometimes I don't eat immediately then I will heat up in microwave before I eat.

 

[evonlimjy]

Thanks for all the sharing. Really appreciate the details.
Yes I know if I don't have CL, I really have to lower my expectations. I don't expect to eat, sleep and rest all the time, but I just hope body will have enough rest to recover fast. But having said that, I think even with a CL, I doubt she will bother much with my 6yo son. So with CL I'll still have to talk to him, give him directions as to what to do like he will have homework or spelling tingxie to learn. So I cant escape this with or without CL. Good thing is he is a rather good boy who is matured enough to listen and know what he should or shouldn't be doing.

Those who used confinement caterer, did you all find the food/soup was not hot/warm when it was delivered? Im worried it will be cold when delivered, which is no good. And is the soup nourishing enough for us during confinement? I mean...is it "bu" enough?

Hi I personally think u shd get a CL to help. I just delivered last dec n has a girl almost 6 yrs. As u said u need to guide ur boy sch work same as me. Is tough if without CL cos newborn need to b feed abt every 2 hrs. U still nt yet rest u need to feed again. My girl no how to bath her own but sometime she wil still wan our attention as they still nt really used to has amother sibling at home.they need time as is v different when bb still in our stomach. We don need to spend time on bb. All focus of elder. I got bk my previous CL n she helped to cook for my girl on wkend but of cos nt those troublesome dishes. With CL ard, I can play with my girl while bb need feeding n slowly let her know when auntie go bk I need to take care bb. She slowly will understand. also can take this time to has more rest cos dw the rd will v tire. I will said even only 1 kid is much easier but will 2 kids time really not enuff.

 

[mrsgg]

Thanks for all the sharing. Really appreciate the details.
Yes I know if I don't have CL, I really have to lower my expectations. I don't expect to eat, sleep and rest all the time, but I just hope body will have enough rest to recover fast. But having said that, I think even with a CL, I doubt she will bother much with my 6yo son. So with CL I'll still have to talk to him, give him directions as to what to do like he will have homework or spelling tingxie to learn. So I cant escape this with or without CL. Good thing is he is a rather good boy who is matured enough to listen and know what he should or shouldn't be doing.

Those who used confinement caterer, did you all find the food/soup was not hot/warm when it was delivered? Im worried it will be cold when delivered, which is no good. And is the soup nourishing enough for us during confinement? I mean...is it "bu" enough?

The food is freshly cooked but whether hot or cold depends on where you are located on their delivery schedule. I'm gg with Natal Essentials cos i saw gd reviews abt their soups. But if the soup temperature not to your liking, suggest you heat on the stove instead of using microwave cos I personally feel tt microwave heating destroys nutrients in the food. Heating on stove doesn't take much work anyway.

 

[jungle]

I didn't get a CL for my third. My husband took 2 weeks off to help me with chores and bathing baby. My mum cooked simple confinement meals for me.
I took care of my baby 24/7 so that my husband can rest well at night. I slept when my baby slept.
On third week onwards, I was energized enough to bath my baby.

I will be doing the same for my fourth.

 

[luvagape]

I didn't get a CL for my #2. No help from hb n inlaws. Limited help from parents. Ordered confinement tingkat that arrived warm from Newbaby. Portions wise was huge but quite appetizing. By the end of confinement I was quite bored with the repetitive food. It's doable to do your own confinement but if you have a c-section, it'd be better if you get some help ie a part time maid to help with the chores.

 

[babyxin]

my mum and inlaws helped out. its good to have parents as helpers..

 

[princess14]

Yes its good to have help, but unfortunately, both my mum and mil working full time.
Actually what Im most afraid of is getting a CL who is not good and create more problems and stress. I read many bad cases and I feel that time is just not good to worry over such things as we just need the peace and rest.