Anyone considering quitting without job?

inbetweenmum

New Member
I cannot take the stress at work, coupled with the stress of having 2 young kids. I break down every now and then. However, i'm so scared to quit without a job in this pandemic. Anyone facing this dilemma too?
 


JasonT

New Member
get a job first then quit. take few days off to relax.
You can only quit unless your husband support whole family without your income
 

Eggscatcher

Active Member
Ya get a job first as jobs are hard to find nowadays, unless husband is very supportive in financial aspect. Also find parents or in laws to support you so u can take some rest and don't rely on yourself only as it will be very stressful...
 

your_attorney

Active Member
I cannot take the stress at work, coupled with the stress of having 2 young kids. I break down every now and then. However, i'm so scared to quit without a job in this pandemic. Anyone facing this dilemma too?
I think during this period of time, everyone is sort of doing 2 -3 persons job in an organization due to headcount freeze.
Perhaps you can consider different options:
1) Take leave/Clear leave
2) Talk to your immediate supervisor or boss
3) Go to doctor to get medical leave regarding stress at work

Your well being is important. Always remember one day at a time.
 

inbetweenmum

New Member
Thanks for all your replies. I just got back to work 2.5 months ago after maternity leave ended and it has been non-stop stress. I have feedback to my boss that I'm finding it hard to cope but i'm not getting much support from him. He expects me to be on the ball as though i never went on leave. I have tried to catch up on the 4months of ML with OT every night. I'm even losing sleep over the mountain of work that is pending. I don't know how long more i can sustain.

I hardly have any time to spend with my family on weekdays. Sometimes, i don't even have the energy to talk to my husband and I snap at my kids (they are only 2.5yo and 6mo). On weekends, I have to sneak in pockets of time to work too.

My parents have been helping out. I can send my kids over if i need to. But i feel terrible that i cant even spend time with them on weekends because i need to do my work. It's really eating me up inside.

The rational thing to do is to secure a job before i leave. But there has been no response so far. Every other day, i just break down while at work (luckily i'm still wfh).
 

your_attorney

Active Member
Thanks for all your replies. I just got back to work 2.5 months ago after maternity leave ended and it has been non-stop stress. I have feedback to my boss that I'm finding it hard to cope but i'm not getting much support from him. He expects me to be on the ball as though i never went on leave. I have tried to catch up on the 4months of ML with OT every night. I'm even losing sleep over the mountain of work that is pending. I don't know how long more i can sustain.

I hardly have any time to spend with my family on weekdays. Sometimes, i don't even have the energy to talk to my husband and I snap at my kids (they are only 2.5yo and 6mo). On weekends, I have to sneak in pockets of time to work too.

My parents have been helping out. I can send my kids over if i need to. But i feel terrible that i cant even spend time with them on weekends because i need to do my work. It's really eating me up inside.

The rational thing to do is to secure a job before i leave. But there has been no response so far. Every other day, i just break down while at work (luckily i'm still wfh).

I think it takes a while for a mummy to get back to working mode. Don't give yourself so much pressure. Do your best. After working hour, try to go for a walk in the park to enjoy the breeze or nature. You can go back to work after that.

Have you considered getting a helper to help you. You seemed overwhelmed with work and children.

Most working mums have helper to assist them on top of parents /(in law). Try to delegate and get as much help as possible. When you feel good, your children will feel good. Take very good care of yourself mummy. Be at your best :)
 

SheriT

New Member
I don’t have kids yet and I’m already facing this dilemma, and it makes me wonder how I will cope when I have one (am planning to). If you’re financially stable and can withstand not having a job for 6-12 months then by all means do consider, but the last thing you want is to have job stress problem being replaced by other money problems.

Perhaps if you still have quite some leave days, take time off every now and then (also maybe helps to ensure your boss doesn’t just throw everything to you). I tend to feel more upbeat after taking time off though it’s temporary relief and sometimes work builds up even more. In the meantime if you think the long term work environment is not sustainable and taking away from your work life balance, do consider looking out for another job.

Do stay strong as life is full of ups and downs! But don’t take it so hard on yourself - whatever decision it is that you choose to make for the future. We are only humans after all.
 

inbetweenmum

New Member
Thanks everyone for your comments. It makes me feel better that I can release some of the stress here. In the beginning, I was still hesitant about leaving this job that I've been in for 6 years (inertia due to familiarity). But the work has since piled up to an extent I can no longer cope and my boss is not supportive. I guess I cannot expect him to understand my personal struggles. So I have decided to leave. I'm actively looking and honestly I have no idea how long it will take for something to come along in this climate. But I have set a deadline for myself to tender (with or without job). Even if no job comes along in the short term, I get to spend this time with my babies.

I (and my husband) cannot stand this zombie that I've become since returning to work. I have no bandwidth to deal with anything outside of work. I have no energy to even care if my 6mo baby is eating/drinking well (I just tell my mum to do what she needs to do). I don't know when his diapers run out. I don't know when my #1's preschool is closed for training. I don't care if my husband falls sick. I'm consumed by my deadlines and my neverending work.

Sometimes I even wish I'll fall sick so I have a legitimate reason to just quit without thinking so much. I honestly don't like this person that I've become.

I've tried taking leave but I end up working on my leave days because that's when no one will come and bother me about ad hoc crap and I can do my BAU stuff.

I guess I already know what I need to do. I just needed some reassurance that leaving my job is not the end of the world esp with 2 kids. Sigh.
 

SheriT

New Member
At the end of the day it’s your life, not anybody else’s. You have your own priorities in life and at this time, if you want to focus on your family and mental well-being and seek out a less demanding job, I say it’s actually a great thing. There will be phases in life where you want to focus on you career, but at the moment it sounds like family and self is more important.

In fact it’s brave to me - I always wanted to just quit my job or get a less stressful / lower paid job but feel very pressured by society and how friends and family will view or judge me. My husband heart heatedly supports (he is highly confident and insinuates I should never get paid less, if it is the case then don’t leave). My sister for one discourages me, she was jobless for half a year and fell into deep depression during that time but eventually she still got a job that she’s had for 2 years now and happy. It was probably one of her darkest moments in life but it didn’t need to be - she could have been positive and happy and still end up in the same place today.

And actually I want to have a baby so I feel less pressured when I can use him or her as an excuse to quit or change my job. I think my life will be more fulfilling

So stay positive and look at the bright side whatever you choose to do! And no it’s not the end of the world :)
 

your_attorney

Active Member
Thanks everyone for your comments. It makes me feel better that I can release some of the stress here. In the beginning, I was still hesitant about leaving this job that I've been in for 6 years (inertia due to familiarity). But the work has since piled up to an extent I can no longer cope and my boss is not supportive. I guess I cannot expect him to understand my personal struggles. So I have decided to leave. I'm actively looking and honestly I have no idea how long it will take for something to come along in this climate. But I have set a deadline for myself to tender (with or without job). Even if no job comes along in the short term, I get to spend this time with my babies.

I (and my husband) cannot stand this zombie that I've become since returning to work. I have no bandwidth to deal with anything outside of work. I have no energy to even care if my 6mo baby is eating/drinking well (I just tell my mum to do what she needs to do). I don't know when his diapers run out. I don't know when my #1's preschool is closed for training. I don't care if my husband falls sick. I'm consumed by my deadlines and my neverending work.

Sometimes I even wish I'll fall sick so I have a legitimate reason to just quit without thinking so much. I honestly don't like this person that I've become.

I've tried taking leave but I end up working on my leave days because that's when no one will come and bother me about ad hoc crap and I can do my BAU stuff.

I guess I already know what I need to do. I just needed some reassurance that leaving my job is not the end of the world esp with 2 kids. Sigh.
It's never end of the world. God always gives up options and opens opportunities to us. You just got to embrace the change.

I have been through retrenchment and I found a job 1 month after retrenchment. I survived.
I wanted to quit without a job (as I was working for a nasty boss) but the job came at the last hr. I survived again.

Be open and embrace. God is watching us and helping us (so long you don't do evil and conduct yourself in the correct manner).
 

ejabc2815

New Member
I cannot take the stress at work, coupled with the stress of having 2 young kids. I break down every now and then. However, i'm so scared to quit without a job in this pandemic. Anyone facing this dilemma too?
Hi Mummies
I would like to share my experience.
I am a mother of 2. Age 8 and 11.
I am in the oil and gas industry for 7 years.
Last year there was a job Rotation and I was attached to this unreasonable boss.
I got so stressed with his attitude towards me. I cried at night. Super reluctant to go to work. Struggled to understand what he wants. End up I had high blood pressure 8 months after the new role.

I know my health has deteriorated. But I also know I have to do something. Else I may end up into depression.

My husband is not bringing in any income.
That's double stress. But I was so desperate to leave the job. I even signed up to do grab food delivery in the event I really cannot tong. I go do GF delivery if I slam the letter at my boss.

My kids saw me cry badly at night.
They were scared. And I asked them
If mummy cannot give you a good life like now. Will you blame me?
Do you want to see mummy more or less?
Good thing they replied that they want to see me more and spend time with them.

So I threw my letter. And start searching for alternatives.

Fortunately, I found my solution as a online business owner. Which gave me the opportunity work towards my dream and goal. Gave me more time to spend with family.

Life is short. Our kids are young. If we do not look after ourselves. Who will look after them?
We have our struggle as a working Mum. But we should not lose our sane. We bring our kids to this world to love them. What ever you are doing. Being happy is very impt. Because if you are not. End of the day, you will bring the unhappiness home. You will feel tired end of the day. And you have no energy to be your kids when at home.
 

m3e59zm7

New Member
Really a tough judgement call here.

Hope below considerations help.
1. Spouse's salary enough to keep family afloat? At least half a year?
2. Emergency savings enough for 6 months or so?
3. Any big purchase pending?

Of course, SG Govt is helping a lot nowadays whereby u will lose the job becos of the pandemic. So if u really cannot take it, try to make it such that u r eligible for those grants?

Of all things, health is definitely the most important thing. no point staying on and killing urself in the process.
 

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