actually like I say im very scared doing this. coz now still early stages, and with my past history, I cant help but do think of the negative side.. I bought him a birthday card. I did say lets hope for the best. becoz giving him this gift is going to have a huge impact in our life. if this is successful, of coz we are happy, else it will haunt him every birthday. so im really worried. but I did tell him in the card, whatever it is, lets just embrace the moment and pray and hope for the best. theres nothing else I can do except to pray, and take care of myself.